I decided to do something daring for a change, because I'm sick and tired of everypony telling me to "lighten up" or suggesting I'm a prude because I get squicked out so easily. So, I had Rarity pierce my ears in the hotel room. Don't get me wrong, I've worn earrings before, but they've always been clip-ons (far more convenient if you ask me). In case that doesn't sound "Daring Do" enough for you, this wasn't a typical ear piercing. It's one of those high-gauge kind where it looks like somepony impaled your ear on the tip of their horn. I was reluctant, but Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity all had them already, and Rarity reassured me that even though a bit of skin literally gets hole-punched out of your ear (yes, it stings a bit), you can get it to grow back again somehow without any scars. Anyway, the hole is at the bottom of the ear (at least that part is traditional), and it looks rather ugly unless you have an earring in it designed for the large gauge.

These earrings are pretty interesting. Both sides are identical, and they lock together through the hole. They're surprisingly simple, which I like: just a small, flat disc barely larger than the hole (again, one visible on each side of the piercing). The surface is highly polished, of course. Rarity is wearing a stainless steel pair, while Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie both have copper. Mine are polished marble, and they feel very heavy! I can tell the other earrings are heavy by looking at signs of ear resistance on my friends (I'd elaborate but it would take pages), so I suspect there is lead or something in the cores. Rarity says the mass is intentional, to remind you the earrings are there, but I figure I'll get used to it rather quickly. It is a little embarrassing to keep feeling that pulling sensation and know others can see it, but as Rarity puts it, "beauty is pain". (No, it's not actually painful!)

Rarity showed me a fourth kind of the earring, one made of gold. That's the type she sent to Cadance. Surprised, I asked her why she went with simple steel instead of gold for herself (I mean, this is Rarity we're talking about), but she just smiled and told me she'd be wearing them eventually. I guess it's all still experimental at this stage. Of course, neither Applejack nor Rainbow Dash (nor Spike, duh) had any interest in participating in our ear-deformation rituals.

The walk to the castle was punctuated by the clatter of Pinkie Pie's copper shoes, which announced our arrival from about two kilometers. We had our bags sent to the castle ahead of us so we wouldn't need to lug them across the entire city-state. Lots of crystal ponies (and a few non-crystal ponies) came to gawk at our loudly-clanging "entourage" (eh, I still don't like that word). A couple of stallions wolf-whistled at Rarity, which earned them looks of disapproval from me, and giggles from her.

"Rarity, don't encourage them! That kind of behavior is so demeaning," I said.

"Oh, please, darling. Can't you take a simple compliment?" said Rarity.

"Compliment? It's against the law! That's harassment, Rarity. Plus, the one guy just looked right at your butt! I'm a princess, I know the law," I said.

Applejack snorted. "Now hold up there sugarcube, I think you're gettin' just a tad bent out of shape over nothin' much. He's just sayin' she looks pretty, and well, she certainly does. Ain't no harm in that. Rarity's not shy about bein' a show pony. If she didn't wanna be admired she wouldn't get all gussied-up with her mane every morning."

"Wow. I'm... actually surprised to hear that from you, Applejack. What Rarity does is her business, and how she does her mane shouldn't provide anypony else an excuse for bad behavior! Doesn't anypony here see that this is wrong? I mean, what if he's some kind of stalker, or the behavior escalates?" I asked. "Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow paused in thought. "Eh, I don't really care. Sorry Twi. It's kinda rude, I guess, but like AJ said, it's what Rarity wants or she wouldn't do all that frou-frou stuff. Well, maybe she would, but, like, welcome to life, ponies are going to say and do stuff you don't like. I just don't see how you can call the guy a stalker just for flirting, or whatever the hay that was."

Spike nodded. "Twilight, you know I respect you, but maybe not everypony else is as... um..."

"Oh! Prudish? Reserved? Super-extra-virgin-olive-oil?!" bubbled an excited Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie, shh," said Fluttershy.

"He's treating her like a piece of meat," I lamented.

"Um, Twilight, news flash: she IS a piece of meat," said Pinkie. "We're all meat! I'm meat, you're meat, even Spike is meat!"

"Oh, yeahhhhh," said Spike, striking a macho pose.

"Urrggggggh! Forget I ever said anything," I shouted, looking away from our herd. I had no interest in seeing the rolling eyes and shrugs which no doubt followed. You would think a Princess of Magic could get away with expecting the tiniest amount of respect from other ponies. And of course, the earrings were pulling with each step I took, reminding me of the spectacle we were making. Thank Celestia we weren't wearing dresses! Rarity brought some (of course) but is saving them for a more formal occasion.

Am I really a prude, journal? If I am, is that such a terrible thing? I don't know. I can tell there's a friendship lesson I really need to learn in here somewhere, but I'm not ready for it yet. Not with all this stress and my friends and family in danger. I have to be stronger than this. In retrospect, I'm probably remembering the walk as being more frustrating than it was, but that's because as I'm writing this in the room I'm sharing with Pinkie Pie, I'm still short on answers.

Speaking of pieces of meat (wow I am being horrible), guess who greeted us at the grand entrance to the castle? Yep, none-other than Flash Sentry, one of the few non-crystal royal guards. He's cute, I admit it, but unfortunately the Flash that I have a crush on looks like a shaved monkey and is barely half my age. To be fair, I'm barely half my age in that universe, and I'm starting to think it's because nobody actually gets older there (which would explain the Sirens). But seriously, that's what he looks like. Take that, "prudish" me. (Heh, maybe I could start my own Team Weirdo.)

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, we've been expecting you. Your bags are already in your rooms," said Flash, with a smile.

"Wow, that was quick," I said. Was I blushing? I don't think I was blushing. Whatever.

Flash Sentry nodded. "Oh, yes. The rooms were prepared for your arrival late last night, although we weren't expecting Spike, I'm afraid."

"Oh, don't worry about me! I don't take up much room at all," said Spike.

"Yep, he can stay in my room," I offered, while we walked up the stairway. Secretly I had my horn crossed that Pinkie's shoes would not destroy half the castle, but fortunately it's a lot stronger than it looks. (Just like the Sugarcube Corner building is a lot less edible than it looks: it took Pinkie Pie months to learn that lesson once she'd moved to Ponyville.)

"We have set up three rooms currently, as we thought you'd enjoy staying together in pairs," he said.

Applejack nodded back. "Sounds real cozy. I'm sure our arrangements will be way beyond our needs, don't you worry 'bout that."

Shining Armor was waiting near the top of the stairs, wearing a simple formal outfit. "Twilie!" he shouted with a smile, and reared up for a hug.

"BBBFF!" I raced headlong into his arms and glomped right on. It was probably obvious how much I'd missed him, but how good it felt to see my big brother in pony again! It was like an enormous injection of the normal and familiar into this terrible mess of the past month. I held him pretty tight, and he held me for a rather long hug and stroked my mane. I don't even care. My big brother can hold me whenever and however he wants.

After the embrace, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Oh my gosh. Thank goodness we're here. Is Cadance okay? Do you know about our visit...?" I said, too many questions coming out all at once.

"Cadance is just fine, and yes, she's been having nightmares lately but we're not worried. It's mostly because of all the stress she's been under, partly because... Well, there's been a small accident," said Shining Armor. (Red flag.)

"Here it comes," I heard Dash say behind us, as the rest of the herd approached.

"Accident?" I said, feeling my heart drop into my hooves (but not really, that's just a figure of speech).

Shining Armor nodded. "Yeah, and we didn't want you to get surprised or scared or anything, because, well, we know you've had a lot of weird creepy coincidences lately."

"Oh no. No no no no no," I said, backing up two steps into Pinkie Pie.

"Twilie, don't freak out," my brother said soothingly, rearing up and holding my shoulders. "It's just her horn, and it'll grow back. Given Cadance's stature, it'll take longer than Rarity's to get to its natural length, but it should at least be useable again in a few months..."

"OH MY GOSH!" Pinkie Pie screamed, right into my ear (ow). "Cadance lost her horn too? What are the odds?!!"

Unfortunately, I already knew the answer. "Horn fractures occur at a rate of 1.6% annually for unicorns and alicorns. However, major horn fractures are significantly rarer. Only 1 in 162 unicorn ponies will experience a major horn fracture in a lifetime, though alicorn stats are different due to lifespans. The average social clique has around a dozen ponies, so the odds that two ponies who are close friends would suffer a major horn fracture within the same month are..." I said, doing the math in my head while everypony watched nervously on, "...I don't have an exact figure, but it is highly likely that such an event would not occur over an arbitrary one-million year span, even with precipitous population increases. Unless the statistics change for some unknown reason, of course, like everypony going completely insane."

"Holy buck, Twilight," Applejack muttered under her breath. There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Oh. My. GOSH YOU GUYS!!! This is amazing!" Pinkie Pie shouted. "We just have to have a "Rarity and Cadance Both Had Major Horn Fractures In The Same Month Party"! I mean, it's a once in a million-year opportunity! And let me tell you, those don't come along every year," Pinkie added, then her brow furrowed. "At least, I don't think they do."

"Pinkie Pie, zip it," said a visibly-irritated Rainbow Dash.

"Ahem. Speaking as, I must presume, one of the aforementioned statistics who cannot wait to have her horn regrown to its full and fabulous length, I believe that our darling Pinkie Pie means well," she said. "But I doubt very much Cadance wants to be reminded of her missing horn at the moment. She's just been through a terrible trauma, after all."

I just stared at the floor for a while. "Twilie, please," said Shining Armor, nuzzling my forelock. "It's going to be alright. Okay? I know things are crazy for you right now, but everypony you know is on your side. We'll sit down, and we'll talk it out, and if there's something that needs to be done, we'll do it. Nopony is going to dismiss your concerns."

I gave a half-smile, and hugged him back. "Thanks BBBFF," I said, as we walked into the throne room. Cadance was peeking out from behind one of the columns.

"It's okay, dear, she knows," said Shining Armor. Cadance poked her head out, then galloped full bore with a smile on her face.

"Hay there!" she said cheerfully, trotting up to me with an embarrassed look on her face despite the smile. There was something shiny under her mane where her horn should have been. She immediately lay down on the floor in front of me and grinned, throwing me off for a moment. "Twi-liiiiight...?"

"Oh!" I said, and smiled, jumping into the routine. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!" we both sang. But as I stood there looking backwards at my sister-in-law's shaking haunches (wait, is that what our dance looks like to everypony else?), I gasped.

"What? Am I decent?" Cadance asked, and lifted her tail. Then my face went white for a different reason. (I... I don't want to write about the second shocker here, but... I don't normally see anything when I look at a pony's backside, just empty blankness. I guess my mind blocks it out. But on Cadance, it was just like, out there. All of it, both, um... I mean, I don't look anything like that! Why are both of the... "places"... so big? That's it. I will never look at another pony's backside, ever again.)

Cadance immediately turned around and a horrified look crossed her face. She whispered, "Oh no is it—?" to Shining Armor, who rapidly shook his head in the negative. (Red flag?)

"Um... You okay there Twilight?" asked Spike.

"Oh! Oh, yes. Sorry, I just, I'm a little slow at the moment, and it'll help once we have a good night's sleep that isn't in the passenger seat of a train," I said. "I just, um, I saw that you have something up there," I added, gingerly tapping my horn. (Yeah, I was afraid it would fall off. Can you blame me?)

Cadance looked relieved, and blushed. "Oh, right." She stared upward at her forelock, then giggled. "Whoops—no magic. I keep forgetting," she said, then reached up with a hoof to pull her mane aside. The horn had been broken off very near the base, just like Rarity's horn. (Red flag.) But it wasn't filed down or anything. Instead, there was a golden cap with a flattened face affixed tightly to her scalp. (Let's say "infrared flag" this time. Even though that means "below" and I mean "more than", because "orange flag" doesn't make much intuitive sense.)

"Showing it off is easier than hiding it, right?" she said with a laugh.

"Yyyyyeah," I said, faking a smile terribly. "So, lemme guess. Dress form? Spell backfire? Magical horn-eating squirrels?" I asked, as though any explanation was going to make sense. Pinkie Pie laughed, at least.

"Oh, no, nothing like that," she said. "Just a freak accident with a dumbwaiter... and a dumb waiter. And also me being dumb," she admitted.

"I might bear some of the responsibility," Shining admitted. "But it's one of those stories you really don't want to know the details of, Twilie." My brother affectionately nuzzled his wife's crest, and gripped her with a foreleg rather firmly.

"Why?" I asked, then it dawned on me. "Oh. Oh! Oh no. Ewww." (Everypony laughed but me.)

"Well it's nice to see y'all still got that there newlywed spirit," Applejack said. "Ponies have lost more than horns to that, I reckon."

"Ooh! It matches your earrings just perfect," Pinkie Pie blurted out. Cadance was wearing Rarity's earrings (the gold variety), and yep. They matched the cap with the skill of a fashionista: not just in color, but in style. (Red flag.)

Rarity cleared her throat. "Oh, why, yes! I sent it with the earrings in my letter, er, package to Princess Cadance, just in case she wanted to use it. I already had her horn dimensions, of course," she said nervously. (Red flag.)

"Now wait just a minute," Rainbow Dash said, her wings going straight up. "How did YOU know Princess Cadance had lost—" Applejack quickly stuffed a hoof in Dash's mouth, but the damage had already been done. (I'm going to stop mentioning all the red flags now because I can't even keep track anymore.) All eyes were on my sister-in-law.

Cadance paused for a few moments in thought. "Right. Well, it's not like this happened yesterday," she said. "It's been about a week. Rarity is the only pony I've talked to about it, besides Shining Armor, because I wanted some tips on how to hide it, or if that was even a good idea. I didn't know she had a similar accident until her last letter arrived—" she explained, until Rarity quickly interrupted her.

"—AND that was the letter I sent Pony Express yesterday, which had the earrings and the cap in it," she said, putting on a rather smug smile. Shining Armor simply stood there stone-faced.

"And you didn't think that Luna telling me Cadance might be in mortal danger was sufficient reason to tell me that my sister-in-law had LOST HER FREAKING HORN?!" I yelled at Rarity, whose face turned sour.

"Twilight! Please. Consider my point of view. You've been acting, well, just the tiniest bit crazy lately, and I didn't want to make things any worse. Besides, it's Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's decision to tell you about this, not mine," said Rarity.

"What does Shining Armor have to—" Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack, who promptly re-hoof-mouthed the pegasus, probably just to be safe.

Fluttershy walked over and hugged me. "It's going to be okay Twilight," she said, trying to comfort me. It... it helped, I admit. I really miss the old Fluttershy, and... I just don't know.

Shining Armor put a broad smile back on. "Okay. So, we'd love to have a big meal with all of you, but we can't do it tonight. We both have a lot of duties to catch up on. But tomorrow evening we'll set up a big feast, just for the nine of us, and we can talk about anything and everything just to make sure there are no more secrets between us. Sound good?" There were sounds of approval from the herd, and I actually felt a lot better myself. I'm tired of all the mystery and I just want my family and friends back. And, at the very least, the awkward stuff could wait another day.

We unpacked our things. Spike and Pinkie Pie are with me ("TwiPie" or "TwiSpiPie", apparently), while "Appledash" are together and "Rarishy" are also (fortunately) sharing a room. I feel really guilty for calling my friends Team Weirdo now, now matter how weird they've been acting. Not that it matters: Pinkie Pie stopped using the term as soon as I told her she wasn't allowed to be part of Team Weirdo (yeah, I guess that doesn't make much sense without her).

Applejack and I are going to hit the library tonight, while Rarishy go shopping. Rainbow Dash will do recon around the castle. I forced Pinkie to take off the shoes so she and Spike can join us at the library later. Fortunately, the ceilings in here are vaulted, but it's either Power Ponies-style leaping or oddball-walking for her from now on; the shoes are too noisy in the castle and way too conspicuous everywhere else. The only place they wouldn't be insane is on firm earth, but I guess they're made for earth ponies, right?

Before leaving for the library, I spent an hour or so writing all of this (I'm getting fast; thank goodness for magic). We're just about ready to head out, but Pinkie Pie said something offhand that I have to write down. I don't want to write it. I don't want to even have heard it. I almost wish I could forget it, but it is what it is.

"Hay, Twilight? You wanna know something really weird?" Pinkie asked. "Cadance has been without her horn for about a week now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess she has," I said, shrugging.

"It's kinda funny how she hasn't gotten used to using her hooves instead of magic. I guess old habits die hard, right?" Pinkie Pie said, and giggled.

Fuck.