“GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE FUCK UP! GET THE -”

“-Alright I'm up!” I moaned while opening my eyes. Man oh man, nothing like waking up to a man screaming at you. The alarm is an excerpt from the The lonely island’s “I'm on a boat”. I have no idea why I put the most obnoxious part of the song as my alarm, but oh well.

As I reached out to shut off my angry phone, I realized my fingers never extended out as my hand felt numb... or for a better word, calloused.

“Why can’t I feel my fingers?” I thought. I tried to perform a few basic finger exercises only to no avail. Eh, oh well. Next time I need to sleep with my hands outside of my pants.

“GET THE-”

“Alright!” I squeaked (even though attempted to growl). Wait, squeak? I haven't squeaked since I was circumcised!

Okayyyy, I can't feel my fingers and I squeaked. This morning is already weirder than my weirdest day ever, which is too embarrassing to even talk about.

I need to get up...

I tried to wiggle myself out of the covers but found myself floundering with the basic activity, mainly because the bed spread carried a heavier weight than usual. That's strange... usually I would be able to pull it off like it's nothing. Have I lost weight? I mean I know I haven't exercised in awhile, but my muscles couldn’t have atrophy that dramatically. It couldn't have!

I sighed and rolled off the bed, letting my cover naturally slide off. Maybe everything is so trippy because I'm in a very critical dormant state?

Or maybe your bud was spiked.
Chill out, brain. Funny because I didn't even smoke yesterday.

Without watching my step, I took a step forward and fell flat on my ass. Okay, why did it feel like standing on two feet was as hard as standing on one foot?

I used my bed to support myself off the floor, holding on to it until I found coordination in my foot movements. While I was struggling to stand, a striking observation came about out of nowhere: Everything was tremendously bigger. First of all, I was noticeably closer to the floor than usual and my head barley reached above my bed. I was pretty tall at 5’10 so everything in my room usually looked normal or small, but now it looks like I'm in a beanstalk version of my room! While I was pondering the sudden growth of the inanimate objects in my room, my alarm clock finally snoozed.

Thank God. I didn't think I would be able to shut it up right now.

“Wait a sec, today is Saturday!“ I exclaimed in a higher scaled voice.

Wait a second, there it goes again! Why does my voice sound like that? It sounds so... soft and feminine. It's like a typical American's girl voice without the gratuitous cuteness. That's weird, usually I sound like Violet J from the ICP, so I guess you can call it an upgrade but a downgrade at the same time. My voice went from white trash to white trash with flowers on it...

“What the hell is going on...” I muttered while extending my arms out to get a glance at my hands. My eyes cracked open as I was greeted by the sight of hooves in place of my humanoid appendages. Hooves... yellow hooves to be exact. Last time I checked, hooves were apart of equine anatomy not human anatomy... equine anatomy! Not only that but they look brighter and less detailed than a regular horse's, almost as if it was from a cartoon.

“I'm in one of those crazy ass dreams again, aren't I? ” I asked monotonously, keeping my sight fixed on 'my' hooves. I stared at it for a couple for seconds, anticipating it to change into something more bizarre. Why would I anticipate that for? Well, funny thing is I had a dream like that one time where I turned into a blue glob, then turned into a blue cat man with yellow eyes, then turned into a blue dog with blue dots, then turned into a blue furry monster who had a fetish for cookies! Basically, this is not the first time I had one of these transformation dreams.

But...this dream seems to be different. The hoof still didn't change in appearance yet. Um... maybe I need to look into a mirror for it to change? Matter of fact, why don't I just go to the mirror and see what I look like? I need to be entertained before I come back to senses.

I dropped down from my bi-pedal stance and transitioned into a quadruple one. Since I have hooves, I figured walking on all fours would be a necessity. Before I even took a full, step an odd sensation shot through my legs and caused them to buckle.

I gritted my teeth. I wasn't ready... yet. I got back up on all fours, feeling my legs shake once again as if they were on the verge of collapsing any second. I eventually controlled myself and got my four legs to stay still. “Baby steps...” I mumbled while literally taking baby steps and dragging my 'hooves' across the floor. So far pretending I was crawling worked, even though I felt my movements weren't as glib as I imagined. I frowned as the constant clip copping of my 'hooves' traveled into my ears. Luckily I have a dresser with a mirror on the opposite side of my bed...

When I made it to my dresser I ran into another difficulty: Getting on top of it. Looks like I'm going have to climb it...

I primed myself, placing my yellow animated forelegs on the surface of my dresser while pulling myself up. When I fully got on top, I looked straight at my reflection and-

“Wow...” I cooed in astonishment. What was in the mirror was a yellow pony who rocked a golden mane with orange highlights in it. The mane style was similar to Roseluck's, although it was slightly puffier and two curls ran down in the front. She had green pupils and long eyelashes that looked like they were cut/pasted straight from one of the mane six. She also looked about 3-4 inches shorter than an average pony in the show, closer to a filly/colt's height. I'm not sure how aging works in Equestria, but if that's supposed to be 'me', I know for a fact sixteen year olds aren't supposed to look like that.

And... I know males aren't supposed to look like that. This pony has a female voice, feminine eyelashes, a round muzzle, and a curvy frame. That's how the female ponies in the show were depicted...

Wait, am I supposed to be a mare in this dream? Hahaha, funny. I'm guessing I'm supposed to have female anatomy as well, huh? Wait, do I?

I took a deep breath, feeling my curiosity peak. I looked at my chest to check for any new mound- oh wait, ponies don't have boobs. Looks like I'm gonna have to go 'low.' I bent over and slid my hoof in between my legs, feeling something warm, flat, and slippery. I shivered. I also felt two soft things in between, but they weren't what I expected.

Oh shit, I forgot female ponies got titties!

I gasped and put a hoof over my mouth, which the figure in the mirror mimicked with perfection. “What... the... fuck...” I trailed off. I never been gender swapped in a dream before... what the hell cajoled my consciousness to dream about this crap!?

Alright, this is getting weirder and weirder. First I became a pony, something I never thought of being in my life, then I became female, something I also never thought about being. These two dream elements are completely arbitrary if I do say so myself. I'm trying to be calm right now, I really am... but this is... I don't even know. The scary thing is I'm completely aware about this...

I paused after I realized what I just said. Dreams are completely random and make no sense, so if I'm dreaming about this I would've acted like this is totally normal, like I've been doing it my whole life!

Okay, let me step outside of the skeptic house for a second and act as if this is reality. What if I'm not dreaming? What if I'm really a pony now? That would make everything more... difficult to bare with?

Alright, I'm ignoring the possibility of this being reality and just gonna assume it's a lucid dream.

Yeah... a dream! A very realistic dream! Me lucid dreaming is the only tangible piece of evidence that can explain why I'm a pony!

"Alright dream, you had your fun. But, I wanna wake up now." I muttered.

Silence.

"I saiddddddd I wanna wake up now!" I repeated, my ears ringing from how whiny my voice sounded.

Once again, nothing happened. I was still in front of the mirror looking at nothing... I mean me.

My heart pummeled as I forced my hoof in front of my eyes, scrutinizing the bright colors and lack of texture. Okay, I'm starting to get scared now! Why the fuck haven't I woke up yet?!

Okay, since my dream is being a Starbuck, a.k.a. a chronic masturbator who has atleast 553 children, I guess I gotta be forceful!

I approached my reflection and lined up my hind-legs to jump. If this dream wants to trap me in here like I'm in prison, I guess I gotta 'break out. “Bye bye...” I said while waving a hoof deviously, my voice sounding awfully cynical and sexy.

Wait, I just found attraction to myvoice!

Oh hell no! Time to die, little red riding mare-hood!

Wait a second! I think you're being a little too complacent right now. Did you ever consider the possibility of this being reality?

Did you ever considered the possibility of Tupac being alive?

No.

I then became suicidal and jumped straight at the mirror.

*SHATTER*

Jesus Christ that hurts! Are dreams supposed to hurt like that?
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Author's Notes:

Alright, it's finally out. It took me awhile to go through with it, but I finally decided it was time for a re-boot. I'm sure some of you know about the original story which disappeared from the site a few weeks ago with out any explanation. I was gonna put up a blog to address my abrupt decision, but no one gives a fuck about blogs so I said 'fuck it, whatever it is.' The reason I rebooted the story is because I got into a part of the story where I had no idea what I was doing. I started putting more paranormal shit in the story, like 'aliens' just because I wanted to try and spice the story up, but truly it made it worse and more hackneyed. Finally, it ruined the purpose of the story. I wanted to make a story that would show the consequences of being a pony, not some action-packed epic Hollywood blockbuster that dominated the charts. I sold out, and it took me 40 chapters to realized the huge mistake I made. So you know what? I'm going to start everything over again and give everyone the story they deserved, the story they 'originally' liked. No aliens, no gimmicks, and no quirky shit. Ponies are the closest thing to abnormal the story will get to. Some of you might say I took the pussy route by not finishing it... well I agree, but at least I will keep my integrity by doing this.

Also, don't be discouraged by the dark tag. While the story will still have comedy in it, I decided to make it a little more serious and gritty. Shortcourt out.

(P.s. if anyone can make me a cover I'll greatly appreciate it)