No matter what lies or rationalizations I told myself, it didn’t make what came next any easier.

One by one, the ponies filed in and formed a semicircle beyond the edge of my bed while Sparkle went off to the side.

The Lezbitch, the Hick, the Pink Pest, the Hippie Pegasus and the Prissy Bitch. They stared at me with no small amount of anger and mistrust, which I readily returned in kind. The only exceptions to this were the Animal Lover, who shrank back and cowered; her mane draped over her face from which peeked out a single terrified eyeball; the Pink Pest merely tilted her head and looked at me in unnerving concentration. There was a faint scar, barely visible where she’d bled. How in the world did she get out of that sack?

Well, they were there. All ponies I’d previously assaulted at some point or another and all of them personal friends of Bitch Sparkle, who now held my fate in her hooves. Typical.

"Alright. Now," Twilight started in a crisp tone. "Jacqueline, these are my friends. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Rarity you've already met. Everypony, this is Jacqueline." She then shuffled over to the side and looked hopefully between us, as though expecting either of us to take that step forward. Her Royal Ponyness frowned slightly when the silence stretched out, her friends and I giving each other the stink eye.

She then cleared her throat. "So as you all know, Jacqueline has agreed to make reparations for everypony she's hurt. Now," She turned to me. "Is there something you wish to say?"

One by one, she bid her friends to come forward so I could properly say my part, however insincere it may have sounded coming out of my mouth. I imagined myself grabbing the uppity little pony, shredding of her skin, sawing off her wings, dunking her in boiling water and turning her to glue and any other number of crude atrocities. Certainly helped make the ordeal easier.

"There, see," Twilight said, smiling softly and looking more or less satisfied how things had turned out. This is just the first step and there is still quite a bit to go, but I'm confident that in time, she can be reformed and learn to live peacefully among us ponies."

The Hick scoffed. The Lezbitch snorted and the Diva a sort of whining noise before stepping forward.

“Twilight, you can’t be serious!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, just what do you think you’re doing?” the Lezbitch added in that Butch attempt of a voice. “After all she did, you can’t trust her!”

Twilight filled in her acolytes on her, admittedly, poorly thought out plan of having me stay with her to be ‘reformed’.

“Ya gotta admit, Twi,” the one apparently called Applejack said in that inbred, yokel accent of hers. “This is not one of your best ideas, and I don’t trust that filly as far as I could buck her.”

“Girls, please,” Twilight said. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. Remember how it was with Discord? Everypony thought him a hopeless case until Fluttershy helped show him the value of friendship. How is she any different?”

“Are you kidding me?” the Lezbitch cried out. “Have you forgotten how many ponies she’s hurt? What she did to Pinkie Pie? You yourself said you saw her kill diamond dogs! Even Discord never did that.”

A general murmur of assessment rose among her ilk and neither of the ponies had the guts to meet their overlord’s eyes.

“No, Dash, you’re right,” she admitted. “Even Discord never did that.”

“So why are we even considering this? Just hand her over to the Royal Guard. She can be cellmates with Chrysalis and share tips on how to be evil or something.”

“It’s not that easy, Rainbow,” Twilight said patiently. “And I’m taking into consideration the extenuating circumstances by which she came here.”

“And what would these circumstances be?” the hick asked, eyebrow raised in doubt.

“I’ve told you girls, she’s not from here, from our world. I’m willing to concede that everything she’s done up to this point is an error in judgment on her part.” She spared me a stern look before turning back to her friends. “But make no mistake, I’m not absolving her of anything. Her actions have affected you all and many other innocent ponies, and for that she must answer.”

Her friends all stared uneasily among each other before Rarity stepped forward. “Twilight, if you think this is really for the best… that you can teach this human,” she said with barely concealed venom. “To be civil and live among ponies, then I trust you can do it. And… as much as I don’t like it, I must admit, were I to find myself in a world where humans reigned and ponies were their pets… I’m not sure what I would do.” She cleared her throat and addressed the rest of her friends. “Girls, I’m not a perfect pony, but I can at least admit that, should I have been in the human’s hooves, I would not have handled a similar situation in a good way. Could any of you say the same?”

The ponies shuffled and muttered their ‘no’s’.

“Then if Twilight says she can do this, I have every confidence in her. ”She promptly gave said pony a nod, a small strained smile on her mug. Twilight returned it, gratitude evident on her features and one by one, the rest of her minions voiced their consent and after that, there was nothing more either of us had to say to each other and so they left.

With slight hesitation, Twilight clambered up to the cushy chair next to my bed.

"So... how are you feeling?"

Bitch, how do you think I'm feeling? "Still alive, aren't I?"

She frowned slightly and paused, weighing her words. "The, um... the doctors found in you an unstable magical core. I guess you already knew that?" I shrugged noncommittally. "Well, I don't know what you did, but whatever it was, it strained your core to the point that it started feeding off of you to sustain itself. The doctors were baffled, since they would never think to look for that in a human. After they figured out what was wrong with you, you were filled with nutrients and vitamins. It gave you strength and helped stabilize your core. You healed very well since then. Enough so that you'll be able to leave tomorrow."

Her eyes never left me, watching closely. "Do... do you know how this happened? You being able to do magic, I mean?" She asked and I couldn't help but notice an undercurrent of hope on her voice.

"Nope," was my prompt reply.

It didn't look like she believed me, but thankfully, she didn't push the issue.

"Alright. So I'll be leaving now. Have to go and get things settled up at the library for you. I'll come get you sometime before noon tomorrow."

I grunted, my gaze not straying from the ceiling. Twilight sighed.

"Look, I admit, I could have handled the situation better. For that, I am sorry."

That there got my attention and I now looked at the little pony princess with renewed interest. "Does that mean I don't have to go and stay with you?"

"Well, no." Tch. Typical. "You still hurt a lot of innocent ponies... needlessly. You've stolen from others and no matter how you look at it, your actions were criminal. Given you've been living on your own since coming here, you need to be able to learn to live and coexist with ponies, especially if you will continue to stay in this world."

"Well, princess, you sure know how to kill the mood," I muttered bitterly.

"I realize this is a less than ideal situation, but it's going to happen," she said firmly. "Why don't you try to make the best of it?"

"Kinda hard to look on the bright side when you're kept prisoner."

"You are not a prisoner," she said tiredly. "You'll stay in a home with hot food and water. You'll get your own bed and be free to do whatever you want on your free time."

"Cage is a cage, princess, no matter how pretty you paint it." Funny, had this conversation taken place on day one, I might have actually been looking forward to this, but now I was rather fond of my freedom and self sufficiency. No accountability, that's nice once you get a taste.

Twilight frowned, but did not argue on the matter. She hopped down from the chair. "At least keep in mind what I said. Equestria is a beautiful place, filled with good ponies and many wonders you've never seen. Your life can be a good and comfortable one, but only if you're willing to work with me and learn to live alongside us."

I didn't answer. My gaze had since trailed back to the ceiling. I'd be damned if I gave the little pony princess the satisfaction.

"Back then, at the diamond dog den... why were you there?"

She blinked in surprise, obviously not expecting this question. "I was looking for you."

I hummed. "So, what, all of a sudden you decide to up and wander into a place full of hostile, carnivorous dogs in the hope that maybe I'll be there?" I asked derisively. "Come on, princess. What gave me away?"

She looked at me searchingly, as if looking for a reason why she should not divulge the information, but after a few moments, she answered slowly. "Believe it or not, Applebloom pointed me in the right direction."

"Who?" I honestly had no idea what an Applebloom was.

She sighed. "Did you already forget? She is one of the fillies you found in the forest. She says you led her and her friends to safety."

Fillies... does she mean the little brats who stupidly wandered about the monster-filled forest? Agh, I knew it! I knew I should have just left them. See this, this is what I get for helping someone out.

"Since nopony in town had seen you, or had no idea where you spent the night, I assumed you did so somewhere outside of Ponyville. The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters seemed the likeliest place you would have gone. And I was right,” she said after a pause. “As far as it goes, it’s a safe place if you want to avoid the creatures of the Everfree. Everything you'd stolen since you came here was right there.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “By the way, there were bottled contents of a shape changing potion. Did… did you brew it?”

“Yep.”

“How?”

“I dunno, princess. You toss weird stuff in a cauldron and stir. There's not all that much to it.”

“It… Isn't there more to it than that?”

I shrugged. “Probably. Quit changing the subject,” I said brusquely. “What led you to investigate the diamond dogs.”

A somber, dejected look spread across her face. Christ, is she still hung up on those dead dogs?

“I'm… not all that sure, really. We heard something, some sort of explosion. I told Fluttershy to head back to Ponyville and alert the guard. I went on to investigate and when I got there…” She trailed off and closed her eyes. “All those poor diamond dogs were dead. Slaughtered.” Her eyes opened, hardened as they fell on me.

“And what, you blame me for that? Did you forget the part where the dogs are murderous slavers?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

If I could, I would have facepalmed. “Are you kidding me? Are your eyes faulty or something, princess?”

“My eyes are fine,” she said defensively. “And I saw nothing that indicates the dogs were slavers as you claim.”

“Yeah, ever occur to you to go and take a closer look?”

Now she outright glared at me. “The entire tunnel system was caved in. Guards have been searching the last three days for any survivors.” Her head lowered, eyes squeezed shut and her little chest heaved. “They haven't found anyone. Not one single survivor. They're all dead. Pups… females. All because of you.”

Well, shit. It's obvious I'm not gonna convince her otherwise. I don't know where this pony gets off throwing these accusations, but it seems she's dead set on believing her version of events. Sheesh, can you say denial?

She kept on giving me the stink eye, as if expecting me to offer some sort of explanation, express regret or beg forgiveness for my actions. Hell, maybe all three. Alas, if she was expecting this, the little princess would be disappointed. She sighed. "Well, I'll be leaving now. Get some rest at least. You have a big day tomorrow." With that, the little princess left the room and left me to my thoughts.

"There. See, isn't this nice?" Twilight said, her fuzzy mug contorted in a strained smile. "Don't you think so, Spike?" She referred to her pet gecko.

For its part, the lizard toyed with the food on its plate, moving it around sullenly and shooting its master glum looks. "Yeah, I guess," it said, but its heart was not in it.

"How about you, Max, are you enjoying the meal?" Said guy returned her smile half-heartedly and nodded, not that he could do much more than that, being mute and all.

The air around the little dinner table was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Twilight's servant was a mixture of butler and housekeeper and, much to my disbelief, had been responsible for cooking the meal in front of us. Grilled broccoli, carrots and corn on the cob and an admittedly delicious looking blueberry pie that currently cooled on the windowsill. Twilight had trained her pet well, it seemed.

Even now, a full seven minutes after we sat down to eat, conversation was near nonexistent, save for the little princess' desperate though ultimately futile attempts to lighten the atmosphere. I had absolutely nothing to say to the little pony, or her pet lizard, who kept on giving me the stink eye. No doubt it due to its infatuation with the prissy pony, which Twilight had been mindful to inform me of shortly after we arrived at her pad. Well, not that its lack of friendliness bothered me in the least, as I had nothing I wanted to say to it either.

The only exception to this rule currently sat to my right, morosely chewing on his food and looking warily between Twilight, her gecko and I. No doubt the guy would have tried to diffuse the situation if he could.

The little princess had kept true to her word and punctually arrived at the hospital to sign my release forms and personally escorted me to the strange hybrid that was her treehouse/library. There stood her pet/servant, sitting on the sofa as it waited for us to arrive, and next to it was him, the other human, the one who supposedly hailed from the same plane of reality as I.

Introductions had been made quickly enough. The uppity little lizard merely glared at me and did a 'hmph' noise before turning its back in a rude manner, not even bothering to greet me even though its master had informed it I was a fully intelligent being. I promptly ignored its 'tude, for my attention was drawn to the single other occupant in the house.

Tall guy, fit, scraggly facial hair, sporting some very telling scars and blind in one eye. Sheesh, someone had put him through the wringer. Now I admit, I may not have been the most socially adept of people, but even I knew that the little princess expected the introduction between Max and I to have gone a bit differently. Heck, even he did, I'm sure.

"Sorry about Spike," Twilight said, apologizing for the dragon after it had clambered up the stairs, disappearing out of sight. I immediately forgot about it. "He has a slight crush on Rarity, and after what happened in the spa, well..." She cleared her throat, knowing well enough to move to another topic. "Anyway, this is Max. Max, this is Jacqueline. He came to see you when you were in the hospital."

In spite of myself, I couldn't help but eye up the guy. He was... young-ish, I'm pretty sure. The hair, scars and his... I dunno, the air about him kinda threw me off. Despite everything, even then, at that point I still held some doubts as to the validity of Twilight's claims. It was his eyes. That's what sold it for me. Every other human I'd unwittingly come across had the same vacant, mackerel, dead-eyed look about them. This guy though... he was the real deal. He absentmindedly scratched at that very big scar on the side of his face. Fidgeting, I guess. To be fair, I was scrutinizing him very closely, half glaring at the guy.

“Ah… hey.” Yep. That pretty much summed up my whole greeting to another member of the genus of Homo Sapiens whom I'd never thought I'd see again, complete with a rather weak wave of my hand.

He reciprocated with a wave of his hand and a small smile. It's not often that I get self conscious in situations like these, mostly because I do my best to avoid them. Don't get me wrong, I was very much glad to see him… heck, I'd be glad to see pretty much anyone from back home. However, I didn't count on the fact that I'd be put in a position where niceties, small talk and just overall chattiness would play a factor here.

And I mean, shit, a banal ‘hey, how's it going’ is probably not protocol to meeting the first of your species in a cartoony, pastel colored, candy horse world.

Luckily, as I struggled to find a way to break the ice, the guy did… something with his limbs. A series of gestures, claps, and taps of his feet on the hardwood floor. What the… is he playing charades? Huh, certainly not how I expected this meeting would go, and I could not, for the life of me make out what those movements were supposed to represent. I guess he wanted to… square dance or something? Well, I was actually rather good at that particular type, believe it or not. Still, though I rather lacked in the social graces, even I knew this was hardly the time or place to dance.

"He says it's good to meet you, and asks how you are feeling," Twilight said. She elaborated a bit more after I looked at her in utter befuddlement. "Since he can't talk, he's using a form of hoof language to communicate."

"Oh." Yeah, that makes more sense. "I'm, uh, you know, getting there..." No, no! Shit, can't you do better than that?! Christ, you'd think I'd have something better to say in the situation. "A-and you? How are you, I mean? The um, uh..." I trailed off lamely and traced a line through my face, in a vague outline of his scars.

His face turned a bit somber. Twilight cleared her throat. She sidled close to me and whispered as best she could from her lower standing. "He got hurt. Remember I told you? It happened very recently, so try not to bring it up."

Great, Jacqueline. Just great. You're off to a great start. Come to think of it... yeah, I thought he looked familiar. He was there that day, at the warehouse with the... oh, shit.

In a rather clumsy display, I apologized as best I could. Yeah, if I went through that shit, don't think I'd ever want to be reminded of it. He did his hoof language thing and assured me it's all alright and following that, the situation turned even more awkward than it already was.

Don't get me wrong, there many, many things I would have loved to talk to him about, but there were two very major hurdles. The whole mute thing presented its own set of challenges, and though I did manage to spot a fair number of paper, ink pots and quills, having to wait for him to write everything down would become a chore real quick, not to mention he'd probably get hand cramps or something. The second obstacle was the Sperglord herself. Apparently she needed to be there to mediate whatever dialogue would pop up between Max and I, as she proved to be the sole source of translation for that hoof language thing. Problem was, pretty much everything I would have liked to talk to him about would have been better done by ourselves, alone, with no pony princess in sight.

And so, my mind raced frantically to fill in that silence. Christ, this is exactly why I don't like dealing with people. Talk, talk, talk, so much pressure to talk. Not my proudest moment, but I basically stumbled over myself in trying to keep things going. The real meat of our middling conversation would have to wait until I could get him alone, away from the prying eyes of the little princess, who never took her gaze off us.

Things did not get better after that. Either Twilight did not notice or care about my not so subtle hints to be alone with him.

Max tried to get the ball rolling with me, but again, I did not want to discuss sensitive topics in front of Twilight and so I tried to turn the conversation to him and see what I could dig up. From what I gathered, he got here a while ago, well before me and unlike yours truly, retained his every characteristic. No freaky magic powers for him, no siree.

Seeing how he was just another guy, mute, in a cursed land where his species were little more than animals, he had been relegated to live with the princess under guise of her pet because apparently, being a lone, wandering human is not exactly a good thing here, like a prissy, upper class, white collared bitch walking down the wrong neighborhood.

At the very least he seemed well taken care of, aside from that mauling he got the other day. He made it a point that he was happy living in this fetid, backwater mud town full of pastel, midget horses, probably for Twilight's benefit more than anything.

While we were 'talking', Twilight's servant set about preparing lunch. I know, right? Turns out, the little princess had trained her pet well and it proved more than capable of producing a surprisingly good meal. Of course, by that point I'd already exhausted pretty much all conversational topics I could think of. True, Max's accounts of what he'd been through so far were riveting and more than a little fantastical, but whenever he or Twilight had tried to shift the topic on to me, I'd done an, admittedly, poor job of redirecting the conversation. I... may have been a little hostile in how I went about it, and where the atmosphere in the room had been steadily relaxing, it turned all the more dour lickety split. By that point the lizard had announced the meal was ready and trying to salvage the situation, Twilight hastily directed us to follow her into the small kitchen, where her pet was already in the process of doling out the grub.

I admit, it could cook some damn fine vegetables. The first morose bite I took, I was nearly overcome by the burst of freshness and flavor that the deceptively simple-looking greenery held. This was definitely not your average cafeteria vegetable. Still, however good it may have been, the mood had plummeted around the table.

Twilight kept trying in vain to salvage the situation, her face steadily becoming more strained and I swear, the stress even caused increasing amounts of her perfectly combed mane to spring into erratic curls. It was rather amusing to watch, honestly.

No sooner did we finish eating that the little princess had the bright idea that to pass the time, I should learn this hoof language thing to better communicate with my counterpart. Seeing how I had nothing better to do and I was honestly interested in doing so, I agreed and Twilight produced a book and no sooner started to lecture me on the origins and use of this hoof language. Apparently she thought it a good idea that before anything else, I should first get a good understanding and background on the subject.

I looked to Max, not knowing what to make of the little princess' increasingly odd ticks and he merely shrugged helplessly and so we were treated to a half hour lecture on the subject. Even when she was done, Sparkle actually asked a series of follow up questions, wanting to make sure I did understand it, but the dry contents of the material quickly caused me to zone out and instead of listening, I spent the time daydreaming and looking about the library. She wasn't too pleased to learn this, as after I couldn't answer a single question, her eye twitched in a most horrendous fashion and even more strands of her mane 'boinged' up into curls. Heh, it looked like she was about to suffer a stroke.

Max quickly intervened and suggested we play some of the board games the little pony had laying around. Twilight relented and so we did. The hoof language would wait until tomorrow and for the next couple of hours, we played on and the mood around the room steadily eased to a more comfortable setting.

It wasn't even dark yet before I got drowsy. Twilight said it was an effect of the medicine I'd been taking as it turned out to be rather strong and would tire me as my body would start to flush it out. She led me to the basement—yes, apparently there is a basement—making me wonder how in the world the weird tree was still alive and green, where she'd set up for me an admittedly soft cot and before parting ways, she oh-so-kindly let me know that first thing in the morning, I would start to make reparations to her little friends as part of my 'reformation'.

Oh, joy.

The Tale of Shimmermist Island

The ponies migrated from their native homeland to the rich, and treasures of Equestria more than a thousand years ago. This is a fact any colt or filly would know. When the three pony tribes warred among each other and brought down the wrath of the Windigos onto the land, the leading figures of the three tribes—Princess Platinum, Chancellor Puddinghead and Commander Hurricane—organized a mass exodus to escape the inhospitable, ceaseless winter and ice storms.

But not all ponies made the journey to Equestria. There were those who fell disillusioned with royalty, the ruling class or simply their station in life and instead of doing as most ponies had done, chose instead to seek their own fortunes in other lands, founding new settlements and cities, some of which still stand strong to the day, such as Maretonia, Prance and Mustangia.

Similarly, the ponies who made the successful trek into the wilds of Equestria spread out beyond the newfound land, settling in on the islands that surrounded it. Not all of these colonies survived, and harsh conditions set many hopeful settlers back to look for other opportunities. Since their abandonment, scholars and historians had documented the reasons for these setbacks.

The island of Golden Grove, despite being lush and replete with flora and abundant with vegetation, also held in its fertile soil an abundance of toxins and enzymes that rendered any potential crops and plants inedible, and Ocean's Cape was beset by a series of wild typhoons and hurricanes that even the pegasi could not control, but far and large, no colony has puzzled historians more than the mystery of Ironshod Island.

At first glance, it had ideal conditions for colonization. Stable weather, fertile soil and several reservoirs of fresh spring water. Resources were plentiful, the population grew and the colonists were optimistic that Ironshod Island would grow to rival Equestria in its wealth and riches. Everything was fine for a while. The colonists maintained constant communications with Equestria and their industry swelled as they traded back and forth with the mainland. One such export was a crop uniquely exclusive to Ironshod Island called Havanu fruit, by all accounts so sweet and desirable that a significant portion of Ironshod Island's economy relied on shipping these specimens to other lands, for you see, Havanu fruit could not be grown anywhere else. Botanists tried for many years to find or synthesize ways to make it bloom, yet none prevailed, leaving Ironshod Island the sole way to get this highly coveted product.

But suddenly, something happened. Shipments from the island ceased abruptly and no communications were sent. Due to this unusual occurrence, and to Havanu fruit's immense demand, Equestria deployed two ships to investigate. Theories were made as to why the colonists severed communications, some ranging from probable to ridiculous and outlandish in nature. Regardless, the investigators were not prepared for what awaited them.

Ironshod Island was completely deserted. Groups were organized and sent to investigate and when they returned, their reports painted the same image. There was absolutely no sign left of the inhabitants. Every house, every building, every street corner was empty and all around there were signs of a great struggle. Doors were broken into, windows smashed in. The insides of the buildings looked as though a tornado had swept through and in many walls and upturned pieces of rubble and debris were darkened splotches that tests proved to be dried blood.

Ironshod Island had been attacked. But how? Why? When? And most importantly, by who? Despite the wanton destruction and viciousness, there were no traces of bodies to be found. The teams scavenged the island for any evidence that might shed some light on the situation, making it a priority to search for documents, diaries or journals that might describe what happened. Many were found, yet none contained a record of what transpired. Even stranger, there was nothing in there that indicated anything was wrong, and stranger still, every single documented entry stopped in the same day.

Inside many of the documents that were recovered was a symbol, written not only in them, but found throughout the whole island, carved into houses, trees and stone or etched in any number of fluids and substances. Its shape represented that of a simple cane—two of them, joined together at the base and splitting in opposite directions as they neared the handle, with the heads turned from each other. Many thought it looked vaguely like a horned face, but did not understand its significance.

In the main harbor of the island was a single ship, and when a group of ponies investigated, they were appalled to find it full to the brim with rotting Havanu fruit. As the teams investigated further they ascertained that there was not a single Havanu fruit left on the island. Plantations had been completely razed, uprooted and ultimately destroyed, and the once fertile soil of the island had soured, leaving nothing to grow. Many who were there that day said the island itself died, for other than them, there was no life of any kind left to find. Even the water was fouled.

After recording everything they deemed of importance, the investigators returned to Equestria and tried to put the pieces of this baffling puzzle together. It was tentatively proposed that the inhabitants of the island had all left in the many ships they possessed, but no one could tell for sure.

No official consensus was made as to what had happened and this fueled many theories for hundreds of years. One of the most popular ones was that the Island had been beset by an infection or a plague borne from the Havanu fruits. It spread rapidly throughout the island, inciting mass panic and so the islanders destroyed every single Havanu plant in the hopes of stopping it. They then set aboard their ships and abandoned their home, but somewhere along the way, the ships sank, taking everypony with them.

Of course, there are many holes in this popular opinion. No traces of bacteria or viruses on the island have been found and even so, what kind of symptoms and fatality rate would this mystery disease have possessed in order to incite such panic? There were no mass graves to be found that would correspond with such an epidemic, and even if all the islanders left above ships, pegasi numbers on the island tallied well into the thousands, lending any theory about freak weather conditions redundant.

Other such outlandish theories entertain the possibility of mass suicides at sea, or that the islanders abandoned their home and set sail for another land that has yet to be discovered, their descendants living their lives cut off from the rest of the world.

But as fantastical as this tale may be, the mysteries of Ironshod Island do not end there, for you see, one day, when two more ships returned, better equipped to investigate further, the island disappeared. Witnesses describe seeing the island on the horizon, but as they drew closer, a thick mist rose out of the sea and with it, motes of flickering light danced within. In mere seconds, this shimmering mist encompassed the whole island, leaving nothing in its wake. Terrified, the ships and their crew doubled back to Equestria and relayed this impossible sighting to anypony who would listen.

There were many who doubted these claims, of course. That is, until more ponies stepped forward, relaying the same strange version of events. Curious individuals who gathered and wanted to see for themselves whether the tale held a grain of truth and following soon, the mysterious tale of the island became known throughout Equestria.

It might surprise some ponies to know that Ironshod Island was not always known for its distinctive name, but then again, there are many sites in Equestria that once went by another name. Galloping Gorge was once known as Broken Hollow, Macintosh Hills were Spring Valley and even Equestria herself was at one point simultaneously called Unicornia, Pegasopolis and Earthville.

Ironshod Island underwent such a change and as time passed, so too did its name evolve to reflect that strange shimmering mist that has baffled countless onlookers throughout the years, for it is now known as Shimmermist Island

Huh, this was mildly interesting. Turning another page of the book titled Equestrian Tales and Folklore Through the Ages, I set to read the next story and waited for the pegasus to get back.

All things being equal, this whole reformation thing did not completely suck. True, Twilight often tread the line between tolerable and sperglord. Her pet lizard never took its eyes off me while we were in the same room and quite often got uppity with me. It didn't seem to like me much, and the sentiment was returned in kind.

Still, I don't know if Her Royal Ponyness was high or something—probably on a drug or her own never-ending well self righteousness—but part of my 'reformation' involved me playing nice and spending time alone with her pathetic little friends.

I'm not joking.

After the first day, she had decreed that I would spend the first half of the day with the Animal Lover, in her sickly sweet little cottage. Something about how I scarred the hippie or something and needed to make reparations—to show myself capable of getting along with her... or at least, not destroy her where she stood.

I was not at all pleased when the little princess escorted me to her friend's animal-infested cottage. She had to make several reassurances to the pegasus and complimenting her how well she did with this Discord thing, and that she could do the same with me as well. Unfortunately for them both, I had no intention of being reformed, thank you very much.

After Twilight departed, Shutterfly or whatever her name was, tried to cajole me into feeding her smelly animals, of which there were a lot. That didn't work out so well. The critters all either ran from me or outright tried to attack me. Naturally, I wasn't going to take this lying down and more than a few birds, ferrets, raccoons, snakes and any other assortment of random critters would be sporting bruises the next morning.

Growing desperate, the Nature Freak then suggested I try feeding her iguanas with some sort of pellet food. Given that I had nothing better to do, I made an actual effort to do so, but the lizards did not seem to like me any more than I them and chose to make this task harder than it needed to be. Luckily, I had magic on my side and for every time they tried(and failed) to scurry off somewhere, I could just summon them to me and stuff them full of the food whether they liked it or not.

By this point, Guttershy was in near hysterics, and me, I had enough of her timid, cowardly, oh-look-at-me-I'm-a-cute-demure-little-virgin attitude.

"P-please, go easy on them. Mr. And Mrs. Ridgeback don't like being force fed, so—"

"Agh, screw this. What am I even doing here?" I groused and let go of the overstuffed reptiles who dropped unceremoniously on their backs and were so full of food they couldn't even right themselves. "I grow tired of this menial labor. When's lunch?"

"Oh. Um, that's still a few hours away, a-and we still have to clean out Mr. Tweety's cage. Barry the Bear needs his weekly massage and—"

I groaned and stretched, clasping both hands and raising them above me. "Yeah, that sounds like fun and all, but I'm getting rather... hungry." I made sure to sound ever so slightly sinister, and eyed a few squirrels who in turn were watching me suspiciously, with a hungry leer.

The pegasus 'eeped' and darted forward to secure the rodents in her hooves, flying well out of reach.

"Y-you leave my little squirrels alone!" She said in a tone that was probably meant to come off as threatening. Heck, it seemed that my not so subtle implication brought down whatever cowardly veil was her default personality, for now, her countenance hardened and was downright shooting me with a moderate glare. Still, if intimidation is what she was going for, she did a piss poor job in that department. The pegasus was just too cloyingly sweet to ever come off as threatening.

"Well what about this guy?" I asked and held up a brown rabbit that had tried to sneak a bite of my shins. I held the squirming little meatbag in a firm grip to the Animal Lover's eyes, which at this point flashed with panic. "This little bastard's been copping an attitude since I got here. I could, uh... make sure he never gives you any trouble again," I said slyly.

Yep, this broke her composure and she proceeded to literally prostrate herself before me, begging not to eat her worthless little pet. Not that I would, seeing how I would have to go to a lot of trouble to gut, skin and clean the thing for a teeny tiny bit of meat. Still, geez, where was this pony's self respect?

"So... you don't want me to eat him?" I asked casually as I inspected the impudent rodent in my grip. "I mean, if only you had something else I could chow down on..."

"W-well, I have a very nice leftover salad from yesterday," she said, looking hopeful.

"Ehh, I'm allergic to salads. They ruin my complexion."

"Oh. Um, okay, I have some fresh and crisp carrots and celery... o-or some oatmeal. I like it with bananas and raisins and just a little dash of cinna—"

"I was thinking more along the lines of deep fried and smothered in chocolate."

"I... don't have anything like that. The only food I can think of is Pinkie Pie's Special Fudgilicious Triple Chocolate X-tra Large Fritter Delights, but—"

"Yep, that's what I want."

"B-but Twilight said I have to stay and watch you. That's the whole point of you coming here and—"

"Hey, that's fine. I understand," I said and held up my hands placatingly. Shutterfly let out a relieved sigh. "I mean, I have to eat to keep my strength up, so I'll just help myself to one of your bunnies or any other animals you got lying around."

"W-what? No!"

"Then I'll just wait here while you go and get me some grub. I promise I won't touch any of your little animal friends," I finished in a sickly sweet voice, with a smile to boot. Heh. Hehe. Apparently humans here can't smile and the Goat Lover looked disturbed at the gesture. A battle clearly raged on in her mind. The 'doormat' side of her personality warring against her overlord's orders. The desire to keep her filthy animals safe cemented her decision.

"O-okay, I'll get your food, but you have to Pinkie Promise not to hurt my little animal friends," she said shakily.

"What... in the world... is a Pinkie Promise?"

She elaborated on some inane ritual she and her friends partook in. Apparently you had to keep a Pinkie Promise and couldn't break it, otherwise… I dunno, something would happen.

Still, if it helped her scram, I'd be willing to put up with it. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I droned and performed the necessary motions. After this, the hippie smiled and nodded contentedly, as if assured beyond a doubt I would keep said promise. And these ponies are supposed to be older than me…

Now having the cottage to myself, I headed over to the couch, swatted away a ferret that tried to launch itself at my face and withdrew one of the books Twilight had lent me.

The little princess had sent me with a knapsack filled with a few books of her choice, for me to read as I passed the time. They were supposed to be constructive and help me familiarize myself with pony life and culture, probably hoping this would speed up my reformation process. Contained in it were books detailing an overview of Equestrian history, another depicting tales and folklore that had developed in the land, the hoof language one and another portraying points of interest in the land.

Growing bored with these pony tales, I set aside the book and in its place withdrew the tome detailing the use of hoof language. Sooner or later(preferably sooner) I'd be able to get Max alone, without the princess or her pet. It was all a matter of preparation. Max made the thing look easy, but I guess he had to learn it quick out of necessity. For me, it was confusing as hell. I got maybe half a dozen motions and ‘words’ memorized by the time the Nature Freak returned and true to her word, she carried with her a box with four massive, fried, chocolate pastries. The rest of my time with her turned out more or less peaceful. The hippie, deeming it in her animals' best interests, decided it was for the best I keep away from them and so whatever chores she had to do she did them by her lonesome... well, not really. Her animals lent more than one hand in her to-do's, much to my disgust. Seriously, the things got everywhere. This may very well one of, if not the most unhygienic places I'd ever stayed in and I made a mental note to wash my hands thoroughly after getting back to Twilight's pad... and give my clothes a good once over as well. Besides that, not much of importance happened during my time with Flutterby, and all I had to do in return was chill out and keep away from her animals.

Heh. This reformation thing… it's not all that bad.

Author's Notes:

Thanks to Schroedingers_Katze for pre-reading.