They are here, they are there, they are everywhere. Slowly filling up the miserable little shack I call a house. Crammed into the mailbox, spread all over the tabletop; stacked atop each other, like perverted imitations of cash wads. Watching me, mocking me, doing their best to suck out whatever tiny, infinitesimal pleasures I get out of life. I would like nothing more than to burn, shred, and tear the damned things apart.

Not that I do. It would be a pointless exercise, wouldn't it? Whether I destroy them or not, it wouldn't change the fact they are still overdue, nor the fact that we're facing foreclosure. So as tempting as the idea of having a bonfire with the little suckers is, I don't do it.

And my mom is there, lighting up as usual, watching me with a vaguely disinterested look.
She picked up the habit when she was a kid. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, who knows. I keep forgetting, and I don't really care to remember. Apparently, it was 'cool' back in the day. Hmph! I hope it was worth it. That her little vice was worth the toll it took on her body and health; on the upbringing, the physical and mental health of her only child.

She was like a skeleton; rail thin, and her body unnaturally frail. Her breath stank, her teeth reeked, and her fingers colored a sickly yellow. She was a sorry sight indeed. She wasn’t always like that, though. There were a few odd pictures tucked away, from a time when her addiction was not all consuming. In them, she was very different. Bright, auburn hair; a beaming smile and a full face. But those days were long since past and her current appearance was a stark opposite of those days.

I watched as she inserted a cancer stick and deftly lighted up with practised ease. "I got some bad news for you, kiddo," she rasped.

I barely flinch. News are not usually good in this household. "You didn't get the job, did you?" I said flatly. "I guess it's back to bread and ramen noodles for dinner, huh?" I couldn't help but put on a snide tone.

Mom averted her gaze and ducked her head in shame. I felt a twinge of sympathy and guilt. For all her failings, as a parent, as a provider, she is still my mother. It annoyed me to no end I couldn't hate her, nor stay mad at her. It would make things so much simpler.

I ducked my head and muttered a barely audible, "Sorry." She seemed to pick up on it, though.
"I know you're not gonna like this but, honey, until I can find a steady job, you'll have to do your part as well," she said softly. Or, as softly as one can, when their vocal cords have been ravaged by decades of incessant smoking.

"Jesus, mom! Don't I do enough around here already? I do your laundry, wash your dishes, clean this pit of a house and..."

"I'm sorry, Jackie, but unless you can bring in some money, we're gonna lose the house." God, she looks so... deflated.

But I knew that as much as it would suck, she was right. She was kicked out of her recent gig because-- surprise, surprise-- she was lighting up on the job. It was one of those recurring themes with her. So I went and applied at the local burger joint. Dishwasher. I worked alone, in the back, and it suited me just fine. I don't work well with others and I would sooner run myself through a wood chipper than having to put up with people, customers. Ugh.

It wasn't much, but it was something. It helped delay foreclosure, and mom managed to land a gig at the gas station. A few months of hard, soul sucking work and we were mostly out of the woods. I even managed to save up enough to buy an old PS3. Mom, for the first time since ever, decided to attend a help group in curbing her addiction and much to my disbelief, was making progress. She was now down to one pack a day.

For a while, things were actually kinda going our way. But the world, in all its shittiness, had to go and beat me right back down. I hate that world.

Let me start from the beginning: My name is Jackie Brown, and I am beyond fucked. But that's the way of things, isn't it? Life has a notorious tendency to be unfair. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. It’s random, unpredictable, but such is the way of the world. I admit, I was not what you would call an exemplary citizen. Prickly, some called me. Antisocial. Rude. Disrespectful. Irresponsible. Granted, I was no girl scout, but even so, I am sure I didn’t deserve to go through the events that made me what I am today, or, will become. Heh, freaking semantics. I learned to not worry too much about them.

I am no longer on Earth now. I was taken from my world, from my home, by a force greater than myself. Away from everything and everyone I ever knew and dumped into a completely alien place. Things were hard at first, as they should have been. But that was a long time ago. I am a different person now. Older. Wiser, I’d like to think. It’s in quiet moments that I find myself reflecting back on my long, strange journey throughout the land called Equestria and the series of events that led me to where I am today.

Despite the fact the incident began so long ago, I remember it almost perfectly to this day. My last day on earth for a long time to come. It started oh-so-typical. I’d woken up an ungodly hour to get ready for work. Cereal for breakfast; a cold shower, as our heating was kept low to save on bills. Then I dressed myself to go to work. We didn’t have a car, so any places we wanted to go, we would either walk or take the bus.

Personally, I preferred to walk. Living on the shitty part of town, the buses there were rather lax on sanitation. It didn’t help that my workplace was quite a ways away, so I was forced to ride the urine-soaked, bacteria infested metal tub. It was utterly disgusting. Luckily for me, I had a solution. I’d stolen a roll of parchment paper from work and every day I’d take a nicely sized piece to act as a buffer from my clothes and the living, super sized petri-dish that was the bus.

I got into the store and passed the head cook, a thirty-something guy named Nathan, whom most girls would consider roguishly handsome. He flinched and looked away as I passed him, and I couldn’t help but let out a satisfied smirk.

A few months ago, I had worked a double shift, closing well into the night. I hid in the pantry, waiting for everyone else to leave and see if I could lift some food to take home. We’d been eating instant ramen for three weeks straight and if I didn’t get anything more substantial into my system I may have literally killed myself. Or not. I do tend to exaggerate.

When some time passed, and I’d taken some stuff, I started to make my way out, but something had given me pause. There’d been sounds coming from the front of the restaurant. Naturally, I freaked out, thinking I’d be getting caught, but nobody else came.

Curiosity got the best of me and I peeked into the dining room, only to see Nathan balls deep inside Chelsea Clinton, a royal bitch of a waitress that had only just turned seventeen and had developed a notorious reputation at school for being an unrepentant slut. I stared, frozen in disgust as they went at it like rabbits atop one of the tables, blatantly disregarding basic rules for hygiene and decency; but an idea came to mind and I whipped out my phone, getting the whole thing on film.

A couple of weeks later, he’d caught me trying to steal some food and worked himself into a state, saying how he was gonna tell on me, that I’d get fired and should know better than to try and steal from under his nose.

He changed his tune real quick after showing him what I’d caught on film, and I now owned his sorry, pedophiliac ass; blackmailing him into helping me steal whatever I’d need from the store, be it food, plates, cleaning solutions-- heck even paper towels and toiletries. But nothing in large amounts. After all, it wouldn’t do if anyone else got suspicious and it went a long way towards making life for me and mom a bit easier. There’d been questions, of course, but after a while, she learned to just take things as they come and not worry where I’d get all that stuff.

After work, I went home and cooked our dinner. Hamburger Helper, ready-to-bake garlic bread and orange juice that would expire soon. Mom arrived just as the food was done and we ate in front of the TV, watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

When that was done, I showered and got out of my work clothes, as I’d be taking a trip to the mall. It never was my favorite place and I would normally avoid it at costs, but the next installation of Grand Theft Auto was out and no reputable vendor would sell such a controversial game to an underage girl. Luckily for me, the GameStop there was manned by a fat slob who didn't give two shits who bought what, underage or not.

The mall itself was about a fifteen minute walk from my house. Me, I kept my head down and tried not to look anyone in the eye, or to wander a suspicious alley or street alone. Granted, it was still daylight out, but I was a mite paranoid about such things. When nighttime came, it was extraordinarily rare to see girls or women out in the street, as they became the prowling grounds for unsavory individuals.

There was an ice cream place across the street from the mall, and it was there that I went first. Sitting on one of the tables outside, I could make out the figure of my best(and only) friend Claire. Her back was turned to me, sipping on a shake of some sort and hunched over, totally engrossed on her phone.

I snuck up behind, grabbed her by the shoulders, and yelled ‘Boo’ right next to her ear. The girl let out a strangled sort of squeal. I had to back away hastily as she reared back, her head nearly crashing into my lip. She turned to me, eyes wide and startled and once she recognized me, a half hearted scowl formed on her brow.

“Bitch,” she said and tried to swat at me, but I deftly dodged and sat opposite of her.

“Takes one to know one,” I said and looked at her drink. “What’s this?” Without waiting for a response, I reached for it and took a sip. Hmm, butter pecan.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Sure, help yourself.”

“Thank you, and I am,” I said and took a big sip, prompting her to lunge and take her stolen treat from my grasp.

“You and those grubby little mitts of yours...” she murmured and took a sip. “You’re gonna get in trouble one of these days, you know?”

I gave her my best ‘are you serious’ look. “Really? You of all people?”

She sniffed haughtily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. She herself was no model child.

“Might I remind you of that Lexus you took for a joyride?”

“I remember that you were there with me too.”

“Maaaybe, but it was your idea. All I did was keep a lookout while you broke in.”

She pouted, and I couldn’t help but snicker. I swear, even though she was two years older than me, there were times when her mindset seemed to regress to that of a child.

“So what was it you wanted to show me?” I asked. “And why is it so important you couldn’t just send a text or something?”

Her face brightened. She reached into her fanny pack and pulled out two tickets, sliding them over to my side. I picked them up and grimaced after taking a good look. They were tickets to go see some indie punk rock band called… oh, who knows. I forget. The music itself was okay, but apparently, these guys were becoming really popular and tended to play in random, hole-in-the-wall places, not especially big and that meant tightly packed crowds and lots of noise, two things I was not at all comfortable with and actively tried to avoid.

Claire must have been anticipating my hesitation, for she immediately spoke up. “C’mon, just give it a chance.”

“Ehhh… yeah, I don’t think so.”

“Don’t be like that,” she pleaded dramatically. “You know I can’t go to these things alone.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “What, you’re afraid or something?” She wasn’t, but it was amusing to see her trying to convince me, and she knew that.

“No! But… you know I can’t go to these things alone. If I go by myself, then people are gonna notice and next thing you know, there’s going to be like, a dozen guys trying to score with me. And it’s really annoying.”

That… was not entirely inaccurate. Anybody with eyes could see that Claire was a smoking hot gal. A skinny, athletic bod; legs that went all the way up to Canada, and a bust that was nothing to sneeze at. Unfortunately for guys everywhere, she was also a lesbian. Not lesbian for me, though, thank goodness. That would have made things awkward.

She also had the whole punky rock thing going, wearing all black. Black hair streaked with red highlights, black nail polish, black lipstick, one of those top pieces that cut off midriff and showed her toned abs, a tight black skirt thing that stopped just below the knees, high socks and black tennis shoes. Strangely enough, unlike the rest of her kind, she never took a shining to piercings. That may have been my fault.

She didn’t want to shell out cash for a trained professional to do it, so of course she insisted I do the deed instead. Well, at the end of it, her earlobe was leaking rivers of blood and she wound up with a nasty infection. Even today her ear was still tender, or so she claimed. Then again, watching a two minute YouTube video on the procedure was probably not the best way to go about it.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go,” I grumbled. “But I’m staying at the sidelines.”

“How come?”

“Because it’s gonna be packed, and if I’m in the middle and suddenly there’s a fire or something, then I get trampled to death while everyone tries to run out the door.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, c’mon. The chances of that happening are really, really small. Practically nonexistent!”

“That’s high enough for me.”

She sighed in exasperation. “Anybody ever tell you you’re a bit too paranoid sometimes? It’s not healthy-- more like there’s something wrong in that little noggin of yours.”

“Just you and also, shut up. And for the record, paranoia is the reason the human race has made it this without killing ourselves.”

“Fine, have it your way. But we’re getting there early so we can get spots right in front of the stage.” I was about to protest, but she help up a finger to shush me. “A-bup-a-pap, that there counts as being on the sidelines. No wall of people to trample you to death or anything.”

I looked up in thought. Hmm, that’s a good point. “Okay.”

Her face flashed with a beaming smile. I swear, that girl was about the most anti-goth/emo in history. Personally, I think she just liked the music, attire and accessories that came with it. We agreed to meet outside the mini-concert at 5 o’clock the next week and with that done, we went about the mall.

Keeping myself from scowling and sneering at the people and blatant overuse of advertising was a bit of a pain. Malls and I just did not mix. Claire had no such qualms, however, as she moved with a spring in her step, obviously in her natural habitat. Me, I just wanted to get my game and get out the place ASAP.

To my dismay, Claire held no such feelings. She pranced around, stopping every now and then to gawk at whatever caught her attention. Some new coffee place, the puppies in display behind the glass at the pet store, a mobile stand that sold earrings, bracelets and accessories… hell, even a toy store for kids.

It felt as though it would never end. Places like malls… they all felt, I dunno, closed off. It wasn’t so bad when I was outside, but in there, through the throngs of people and shameless consumerism, the feeling of entrapment was all too real. I can freely admit I never much cared for liked the city I lived in. Even before I met Claire, happy times were too few and far in between. The whole damn place... it sucked you in and didn’t let go. You were born in there and you died in there. There was simply no other choice.

…

Ha! As if. Jeez, was I really so angsty and fatalistic back then? It makes me cringe now that I think about it. Things could have been worse... a lot worse, and they would be, in time. If there’s anything I could take away from it all is that it all allowed me to mature. Granted, there was not much choice in the matter and I grew up much faster than I should have, not to mention the fact I’m still screwed up in many ways. Oh, well. No one’s perfect, right?

Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. There’s still plenty of ground to cover.

Just as we neared the store, we walked by a pair of the typical air-headed, high-school bitch queens. I made a point to ignore their shrill giggles and comments on my—admittedly ratty—plain grey hoodie. I proceeded to flip them off while Claire settled for sticking out her tongue and smiled in satisfaction at hearing their pompous, whiny reactions. I went in, bought the game and got the hell out.

We parted ways after that, her going to her relatively upscale home and me trudging the long walk back to my house. I walked in a hurried gait. Night in the city was far from safe, so, in a moment of utter brilliance, I took a shortcut through an alley, hoping it would be devoid of lowlifes and weirdoes.

"Hello? Excuse me, little lady."

I turned to look at the voice and there, leaning against a trash can was a creep in a sleazy suit-and-tie, brown hair combed back in a bad 70s style and glasses with a dark-reddish tint to them.

I ignored him and kept on walking at a hurried pace. I said I needed some mace. I said there were a lot of creeps in this town, but noooo. That's what I get for being cheap. There was a shuffling of movement and footsteps, growing closer despite my hurried pace. Great. The one time a guy notices me and it's some slimy old geezer. Can't this shit happen to someone else today? I whipped around, teeth bared in a snarl. "Stop following me, you creep!"

The creeper started back in surprise, but I didn't wait for him to recover and continued on, not paying him mind, stopping only when an oily voice spoke, right next to my ear.

"Hey, there's no need to be rude! I just want to talk!"

Reacting on instinct, I abruptly turned, and my leg bent back, ready to hit the creeper in the nads. Imagine my surprise when there's nobody in sight.

"Over here!"

The voice came behind again, and I looked over, only to find the creep right in front of me, his unnaturally perfect, white teeth splayed in a grin.

And just like that, before I could even begin to formulate a reply, the creepy old guy took a hold of my arm and in his other one was a syringe filled with... some... substance that looked to be as if one took a rainbow and crammed it into one small container. The creep swiftly injected the psychedelic swirling shit into my neck.

"Aagh! What the shit!? What did you just do to me!?" I shrieked like a bitch, spittle flying out my mouth and backing away from the pervert. "Help! Rape! Rape!" I looked frantically around the deserted alleyway, hoping against all hope someone would hear... or care. Of course fucking not! Why would they?!

"Now, don't you worry my dear. That little concoction I just pumped into your bloodstream is... well, you could say it's a bit of my own, personal... essence." He said it in such a sleazy, sinister way I couldn't help but shudder, wrapping my arms around me in a protective hug.

"F-freak! Pervert!" I hissed.

He had the gall to scoff and lifted his glasses, allowing his disgusting yellow eyes to shine through. "Will you stop it already? Believe me, my dear, you hold no kind of interest to me. Well, not that way, at least."

He lowered them back on and slowly walked forward with a strut, hands in his pockets and a leering grin on his pervert face.

"H-hey! Get away from me, you... you... sicko!" I tried to back away, but whatever that kind of drug it was that he injected me with had already gone to work. My legs were wobbly, my speech slurring and colors, swirling colors, just like that hippie drug were swimming through my vision.

Then there was the pain. Just like that, it goes from being the start of a drug-induced haze and now, it feels like there's fucking acid flowing through my veins! Burning everything, turning my flesh into goo and making me scream so loud that by the end of it, I'm lying like dirt on the ground, my body twitching, my throat raw and the pervert is still there, with his hands in his pockets and smiling down at me without a care in the world.

I spat on him. Or, I tried to, at least. My body wasn't responding. "F-fuck you," I said feebly as a line of drool trickled from my mouth.

With his right hand, the freak snapped his fingers and the agonizing pain that wracked my body was now gone. I gasped at the sensation, but the freak snapped his fingers again and my body seized, growing still and ramrod straight.

It must have been the drug or something, because I could have sworn my body levitated and now, I was looking into the disgusting eyes of the pervert. I tried to spit on him again, but, much to my alarm, I found I couldn't move an inch of my body.

"Excellent," he said jovially. "Now, while you're just floating there, pay attention. I have been watching you, Jacqueline Samantha Brown. I have scoured this world, looking for just the right individual to help with a little pet project of mine. You have just received a portion of my power. Anything I can do, you can do as well. You wished for nothing more than to be able to leave this rat's nest of your world, and you will. You crave the opportunity, the power, to make those around you realize the harshness of reality and life. And you will. I will grant you your desires and in turn there's only one... single... little... thing you must do for me in return."

He fully removed his glasses and brought his disgusting face close to mine.

"Have fun."

And with that, he tapped a cold, bony finger to my forehead and I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was pissed. There I was, lying face down in grass, feeling like steamrolled shit. Ugh. My head is killing me... stupid sun. Morning, it looked like. In a flash I remembered the events of last night. The alley. The pervert! I was drugged! Oh. Oh, my God... As quick as I could I checked to make sure that... stuff didn't happen while I was out. Okay, okay, I was good. But this good fortune did nothing to ease my mood.

That… that... freak! He dosed me with some... hippie, candy-land drug! He took all my things, and if that wasn't enough, I'm... somewhere else! But... wait. Why is everything so... cartoony? And with edge lines? Must be that pervert's drug. Just the thought that it's still in my system makes me want to retch. Ohh, if I ever see him again then... I'll do something bad, that's for sure.

But first things first. I had to get home and report his sorry ass to the authorities. No, wait, scratch that. Those pigs are so bloated in donuts and their own narcissistic superiority, their fat asses won't be good for much of anything. Except maybe write parking tickets and shooting unarmed minorities.

I rose from my position and a dizzy spell passed through, but other than that, I was feeling surprisingly normal. Well, except for the fact everything was so bright. God, I needed a shower. And some food. Food's always nice. Especially when it's battered and deep fried in grease. Just out of curiosity, I brought up my hand and yep, it's cartoony too. Whatever. I'll just have to wait until the drug's effect runs its course.

I looked to my surroundings and noted how strange they were. I was still in an alley, but it was surprisingly clean and maintained. Didn't stink either. And there was no concrete. Just healthy looking grass that was a shade too green on both ends, and the houses or shops or whatever on either side of me were made of stone, with thatched straw roofs and built like some... Disney fairyland theme.

I wanted nothing more than to burn them down. Down to the ground.

But first things first. Food and a shower, followed by copious alone time in which I could moan and piss on what just transpired. Maybe even entertain some revenge fantasies. And after that, just me, by myself in the overpass and a few cartons of eggs to pelt passing cars. That usually cheered me up. Now, where exactly am I? Certainly not in my neighborhood. Felt too nice, too... safe, even in this alley. Definitely not my 'hood.

A southern, feminine voice spoke from my side. "Hey, little fella. What'choo doin' all the way out here?" Oh Christ, I'm in Deliverance!

Now, I realize that maybe this person maybe didn't have malicious intentions towards me. But I was still pissed and stewing over last night, so I turned to rip this bitch a new one. Only... there wasn't anybody there. I looked down and came face to face with... some... fluffy, dog-horse thing? And... it was wearing a cowboy hat. Damn, that hippie drug is really doing a number on me.

Even so, I couldn't move. The little bugger just looked so real. And much too cute for my liking. I took a step forward and examined it more closely. The little thing tilted its head and looked at me in what I would guess was a curious way. Sheesh, those were some big eyes, and expressive, too. A little horsey muzzle, orange coat and yellow mane tied in a... ponytail. How quaint. If I wasn't so shocked, the sight of it would instantly send my blood boiling.

It really did look real, even if it was only a hallucination. I couldn't help myself. I reached out with my arm to see what would happen, and while the little mutant raised an eyebrow, it didn't react all that much. What happened next confused the hell out of me. My fingers made contact with the tip of its nose. Soft and furry... and solid. Da fuq? The little horsey blinked and I touched it again, now with both hands, running them through its face. Solid, and bone structure. Fuzzy and soft.

"Heh, heh. Well, aren't you a friendly one?" it or... she, chuckled, smiling and pulling back. "Where's your owner, missy? It's not too safe for you critters to wandering around out here. There's been more and more of you fellas gettin' snatched away, dont'cha know."

Uhh, did this little turd just talk? Man, just what was in that drug? Or maybe, there was also the possibility that the little dog-horse was an actual dog, and the psychedelic shit coursing through my system made it seem like it was talking. But… how would I know? On an impulse, I reached out with my hand and scratched lightly behind her ears. The little abomination closed her eyes and smiled, letting out a sigh of contentment.

“Aww, shoot. You’re just a precious little gal, ain’t cha? Your owners must be missing you somethin’ fierce.”

God, the way she looked at me, a saccharine carefree smile on her fuzzy mug. I wanted to punch the little mutant. NOTHING should be this cute.... But there was a horrifying thought slowly dawning upon me. This... was real. I was not in some drug-induced trip, and the cloyingly sweet abomination looking up at me was an actual thing.

"Well, come on, now. It's best we go and see if we can find yer owner." She turned to go and cocked her head, clicking her tongue as if to instruct me to follow. My eye twitched and a surge of anger and indignation shot right through me. Like I'm a freakin' animal! Just where did this puling, inferior life form get off!? By all rights, I should have flown off in a rage and shove my foot up this little shit's ass!

And yet, my body was strangely unresponsive. The sheer ridiculousness, the absurdity of it all! Just what in the world is going on in here! It’s all still part of a drug induced trip, right? But… it sure doesn’t feel like it. Granted, I have never done any kind of drugs in my life, but I’m not so ignorant as to not know that I should be feeling… trippy or something. No, I still had my wits about me. This was not a dream. This was not a hallucination. This was all real! The stream of swears and profanities meant to leave my mouth sounded instead like a series of incomprehensible gibberish.

"Aww, ain't that cute? You're trying to talk to me, ain't'cha, girl?" cooed the hick."C'mon, then. The sooner we find your owner the better."

The little dog-horse turned, expecting me to follow. Not that I could, even if I wanted to. The revelation I just had had caused me to go in a mild state of shock. I felt the blood drain from my face, no doubt giving my already pale skin a ghostly appearance. A massive lump formed in my throat and my heart rate skyrocketed as a wave of panic flooded my veins.

It... wasn't possible that I wasn't on Earth, was it? All of this, the little talking mutant horse, the despicably saccharine colors on every surface. Was it possible it was all real? Surely not. Or maybe, I was always here, in this hippie cartoon land, and everything up to this point; my life, everyone I knew; and shit, the entire world I lived in had never existed.

I pushed the thought from my mind, clutching at my head and letting out a half-sob. I can't fucking deal with this right now.... My breathing quickly accelerated out of control, rapid and shallow. What was real? What wasn't? Was I me? Not me? Am I even fucking here right now?! Don't think about it.

"Whoa! Easy there, girl! What's got you so worked up?" The thing was tense, looking at me with worry, its foreleg half-raised as if to run away at a moment's notice.

I pushed past her, roughly shoving her aside. God, please. Someone help me... I tripped over nothing, panting in shaky, quick breaths and blinking tears from my eyes. Fuck, not now! The abomination ran to my side, placing a hoof on my shoulder.

Oh God it's touching me!

I'm not proud of what I did next.

I shrieked and slapped the hoof away, rolling onto my knees and bolting down a dirt road. Can't...can't breathe! My chest felt tight, burning like I'd inhaled a lungful of battery acid. My vision blurred and darkened at the edges. I only made it a few more steps before the blackness crept in from the edges until I couldn't see at all. I felt my cheek hit the dirt, and simply laid there.

Can't breathe... can't breathe…

"Calm down, girl!" Don't touch me, don't you FUCKING touch me! "Shh...Ain't nopony gonna hurt ya..." A rough, dry hoof dragged through my already tangled, dusty hair, pulling and breaking strands left and right. Despite most of my body feeling heavy and numb, I managed to wrap my arms around my head. The hoof went to my back instead. Can't you fucking see I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED?!

Somehow, despite my panic being at an all-time high, my breathing began to slow on its own. My vision returned, showing that I'd attracted an entire swarm of the mutants. If that wasn't bad enough, a number of the little freaks were even more mutated at a glance. Some of them sported stubby spiraled horns and others had wings on their backs, much too small to let them fly, but fly they did. All of them. So happy, so cute, so adorable. My stomach convulsed and I barely managed to keep myself from puking. I swallowed the acrid bile that made its way into my mouth, feeling strangely welcoming, a nice contrast to the saccharine, evil sweetness surrounding me.

I wiped unshed tears from my eyes and stood on shaky legs, keeping my eyes on the ground and making a point to ignore the crowd. As if on autopilot, I continued walking down the road and into a town full of the little nightmares and Disney Shacks. My hair hung like blinders, obscuring the view of the staring, huge-eyed freaks tracking my every move.

I did my best to ignore them and kept on walking, shoulders hunched and tightly clasping my elbows, wishing for the earth to swallow me up or for freaks to quit gawking at me. I was stopped, however, as I bumped into something. Letting out a choked gasp and drawing back, I looked up to find myself face to face with a man. He was short, stocky, ugly and hairy… and he was buck naked.

Hmm...Not much to look at.

But there he was, ass-hair blowing in the wind like it was the most normal thing in the world. For all I know, it could be. A collar and leash tied him to a post with dog bowls nearby, filled with water and... kibble? He just sat there, staring at the world around him with vacant, dull eyes, the markings of a stupid beast. Or a Freshman.

I don't know how long I stared, eyes wide with horror. My throat was dry and then, as if I'd been blind to it the whole time, I began seeing more and more of them. People. Humans. All of them with that vacant, listless stare. All of them with collars, some of them naked and shuffling like dumb animals to more of the little mutants, who led them through leashes. And they were there, all around me!

What sort of fucked up hell is this?!

The nudist Neanderthal leaned forward, grunting stupidly, sniffing at my neck and poking at my hoodie. I backpedaled, muttering a hissed 'fuck off' under my breath until I was out of range of his leash.

What the actual fuck is going on?!

The hick was back. I think she tried to talk to me. I looked back at her, but whatever she said might as well be in another language. The implications of what I'd just seen had thrown me for a loop. And why wouldn’t it? It's like someone had pulled the stopper on my reality, and everything I knew was being flushed down the drain. I was cold, my face was pale and fixed in a mask of sheer horror. I couldn't think or form a coherent thought.

The mutant took my hand in her filthy, slimy mouth, pulling me away, and me, I could do little but go along. We went in deeper, and there were more of them, the little talking mutants. All three types, going about their lives. Smiling, chatting up their friends, eating on disgustingly cute little restaurants; just like people. The sheer surrealness of it all served prolong my near catatonic state.

And then there were the... humans as well. Just what kind of place is this?! There they were, acting like pets! Munching on squeaky chew toys! Playing fetch! Rolling over to get rubbed! My own people, my own species! Animals! Stupid animals being dragged around by freaks of nature! But what did that make me? I can talk, I can think, I am intelligent. In this world. In this twisted, fucked up, mockery of my world, did that make me the freak?

I didn't have time to dwell on this. The dog-horse had taken me to the heart of the town, to a small, one-story building and behind it was a wired fence in which more humans were kept in separate pens. Digging in the ground, growling at each other, shoveling mouthfuls of kibble to their mouths and… and… fucking! I nearly retched again.

"Howdy there, Caramel," greeted the hick.

Caramel? Caramel?! I looked over and there was another mutant dog-horse. A plain one, no horns or wings. "Hey, Applejack. What brings you here?"

She pointed to me. "I found this little fella in an alley near the outskirts. She was all alone and, shoot, I couldn't just leave her there, you know? What with all the humans being foalnapped and such..." She leaned towards the vaguely masculine...little horse...pony? Pony. She leaned towards the vaguely masculine pony and whispered something, just loud enough for me to hear, "Ah think she might've had a run-in with some bad folks...She's scared outta her wits!"

Sister, you don't know the half of it.

He nodded solemnly. "It's a shame, yeah. So you found her all alone, huh?" He moved closer and inspected me. "Hmm. She looks well cared for. Good clothes, trimmed hair. Her skin looks a bit pale, though. Must be an indoor human." He prodded me. "Not unhealthy, but she could lose a little weight."

Glrk... pth...brargh. D-did that little fucker just call me fat?! I am going to feed you your own balls, shitstain.

The hick chuckled. "Heh, heh. That she does. Seems somepony was a spoiled little missy, ain't we, girl?" She rubbed my lower back, and it felt disturbingly good.

I... will... DESTROY you!

"So what do you think, Caramel? You wouldn't know who she belongs to now, would you?"

He shook his head. "'Fraid not. Thankfully, there's been no reports of missing humans for a while, but that could either mean that she is missing and nopony noticed, or that she wandered here from somewhere else."

"That's a good guess as any, Ah suppose. Well, until we can reunite this missy with her owner, do ya think I can leave her in your hooves?"

He winced and looked back at the human kennel. "I dunno, Applejack. We're kind of full as it is, and we just don't have the resources to keep taking in strays."

"But she's not a stray! She obviously belongs to somepony."

He sighed. "Well, couldn't she stay with you, at least until we get some room? You got a nice big barn and everything and you sure as heck are good at dealing with humans."

Bitch please, this cunt pulled out my hair.

"Yeah, but my humans are strictly for work and breeding purposes only." Wat. "And this little one just doesn't look cut out for that kind of stuff."

"Why not? What's the difference?"

It was the hick's turn to sigh. "Look, if I put her in the pens, then the males... well... they get randy at this time of year and throwing new meat in with them... let's just say this lil' missy ain't built to take that kind of attention," she winced and shook her head. "And the other females tend to be territorial, especially during mating season, and I don't even want ta think what they'll do if they think missy here's stealing with their males," she paused. "Uh, Caramel? You okay there, partner?"

The brown-furred mutant was slowly backing away, eyeing me in fear. The hick turned to see what had spooked her ilk. She caught sight of me and stuttered, "U-um."

The little shits were scared of me, and I could imagine why. My whole entire body was trembling as pure, white-hot rage coursed through my veins. My fists were clenched so hard, I could feel my fingernails pierce the skin, my teeth bared in a feral snarl and my whole face twisted in a mask of sheer, absolute fury, twitching and spasming erratically and I'm pretty sure I was frothing at the mouth.

The hick gulped, but stood her ground. She lifted a leg. "E-easy, sugarcube."

I saw red, and exploded. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, YOU MUTANT, HALF-BREED, PISSANT LITTLE HORSESHIT!" I bellowed so hard, my throat fucking hurt.

The freaks obviously hadn't been expecting that, for their eyes bugged out(as if it was even possible) and their jaws dropped, looking at me in astonishment, and not enough fear for my liking. The same could be said for the rest of the mutants nearby, but it wasn't them that was the object of my fury.

The little fuckers had been so stunned at the revelation a dumb animal could talk that they froze on the spot. Kneeling down in front of the hick, I recalled my anger, my hatred, fury, horror and despair at finding myself in this twisted, godforsaken reality and channelled it to my arm and into my fist, delivering a vicious uppercut that sent the freak flying into the air and landed with a thump, moaning in agony and clutching at her mouth, upon which blood was freely pouring.

I turned and the rest of the little fuckers, eyeing me in equal parts of fear and bafflement. Even the dumb humans had paused to look at the spectacle. It made my blood boil even further. I took a deep breath and bellowed for the second time. "THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU PULING LITTLE FREAKS!"

It was the first but certainly not the last mistake I'd make in this new world.

Author's Notes:

Ho, fellow tiny horse enthusiasts. This here is my attempt at an experiment of sorts that's been stewing in my head for a while. If you liked the story so far, then awesome, but before you go any further, there's a couple of things I feel you should know.

This story was written in response to the lack of villainous humans fics in the fandom, LOHAV(League of Humans Acting Villainous) included, and while there are a few stories out there with truly villainous humans who commit actual villainous deeds, they are few in number. Again, this fic is my response to that, and so, I believe I should tell you what kind of story this is.

As you can probably tell, Jackie and the Mane Six won't be on the best of terms with each other and they probably never will. I don't intend to hold anything back as far as villainous deeds are concerned, so you can expect this story to be very dark at times, and yes, there will be action and more than a little violence. That being said, if these things bother you, you may want to turn back now. If you are interested, however, read on. The insanity is just getting started...