Twilight Sparkle continued to slurp on her diet coke. Going to the movies wasn’t usually her thing. She usually spent time at home in the comforts of her lab, but Velma Kelly, her best friend—her only human friend—convinced her to go out and have a little fun.

They were about to see Mockingjay Part 1, which made Twilight a little spectacle at first, but Velma had told her that this movie was going to have a lot to do with propaganda, which did intrigue her. Not many young adult films introduced the elements of propaganda nowadays. She would have preferred to read the books first, but Velma had begged her to go see the midnight showing with her.

Her older brother, Shining Armor, happened to be going too, but he had to pick up his new girlfriend first. They had planned to meet up at the theatre. Twilight hadn’t met the girl yet, but she already had arising suspicions. She will see if this Cadence person was worthy of her BBBFF.

As the previews started, the diet coke was getting to the young professor. She crossed her legs. She leaned over. “Velma, I’ll be right back,” She whispered.

Velma grabbed her arm. “You can’t leave now!” Velma whispered loudly. “You’ll miss it!”

Twilight looked up at the screen and frowned. “The previews last a long time. We can watch Pitch Perfect 2 when it comes out, now please!”

Velma sighed and released her arm. “Can you get some Popcorn, at least?” She handed out money from her wallet.

Twilight was hopping up and down. She really had to go. “Yes, yes, fine!” She grabbed the bills, and dashed down the aisle, and out the door.

“Hurry up!” Velma whispered. She returned her gaze to the screen. “They’re remaking Annie again?”

---

Twilight felt instant relief when she was finished. What luck, to have found a clean stall in her time of need. She reached for the toilet paper dispenser, only to feel a rough cylinder surface.

Twilight blinked under her thick-rimmed glasses. She gasped in horror.

There wasn’t any toilet paper.

She frantically looked around the stall to see if there were any lying around, but there wasn’t. What kind of movie theatre is this? How can it possibly not have any toilet paper? She shifted uncomfortably. If I ever get out of this, I’m going to write a strongly written letter to the manager of this place!

Someone else was in a stall next to her with fancy blue shoes. Twilight bit her lip. This was extremely juvenile of her, but what other choice did she have?

She cleared her throat. “Um, excuse me, I’m-I’m sorry…” She chuckled sheepishly. “T-This is uh… heh…This is kind of embarrassing, but there’s no toilet paper here.”

There was a pause. “….Are you talking to me?” A female voice asked.

“Y-Yeah, I just forgot to check, so… if you could spare some, please.”

The blue shoes inched away. “No, I’m sorry.”

Twilight blinked. “What?”

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t spare it.”

Twilight’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “You can’t spare it?”

“No, there’s not enough to spare.”

“W-Well, I don’t need much, just three squares will do it.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have three squares, now, if you don’t mind!”

Twilight frowned. What kind of person was this? “Three squares? You can’t spare three squares?”

“No! I don’t have a square to spare, I can’t spare a square!”

Twilight was getting desperate. “W-Well, is it two ply? Because if it’s two ply, then I’ll take one ply. One ply! One puny little ply, I’ll take one measly ply!”

The other woman raised her voice. “Look! I don’t have a square, and I don’t have a ply!” The toilet flushed, and the blue shoes ran out of the bathroom.

Twilight frantically reached her hands out from under the bottom stall. “No, wait, wait, wait!”

---

In the theatre, Shining Armor munched on popcorn entranced by the Madagascar Penguins on screen. He looked to the side and smiled. “Cadence!”

Cadence only smiled a little as she took her seat beside him. “I love this artificial flavoring,” He told her. “I like it better than butter. It’s more consistent.”

Cadence shifted in her seat towards her boyfriend. “You won’t believe what just happened to me in the bathroom.”

“What?”

---

Twilight sighed as she sat back down next to Velma. “You missed half the previews. And where’s the popcorn?” Her fellow bespectacled friend asked.

Twilight turned her head. “What?”

“The popcorn you were supposed to get us?”

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “You would not believe what just happened to me in the bathroom.”

---

“I mean, a person needs a certain amount of toilet paper in order to be covered,” Cadence explained. “I simply could not spare it! This girl just didn’t get it, she just kept harassing me!”

---

“Three squares! That’s all I was asking for, three squares!” Twilight ranted.

---

“She wouldn’t stop. ‘Help me, help me!’ She was insane!”

“I was begging her.” She wrung her hands together for emphasis. “ ‘Please, please!’ She didn't even wash her hands on the way out. She was insane.”

---

Shining nodded in agreement, his mouth full of popcorn. “Who does she think she is? *Munch* How dare she? You want me to get the manager? We should go down and have those old ladies walking down with flashlights, they’d flush her out.”

Cadence shook her head. “No, I don’t even know what she looks like. Besides, she might have a breakdown, being as young as she probably is.”

Shining looked around. “I wonder where Twily’s at,” He wondered. “I really wanted you to meet her. She’s supposed to be here tonight with her friend Velma.”

---

Twilight raised her head, trying to spot her brother. “I wonder where Shining’s sitting.” She turned to Velma. “He’s supposed to be here with his new girlfriend, I am dying to see what she looks like.”

“Hey,” Velma said looking up. “You think if I jumped off that balcony, I’d get hurt?”

“...I’d say you would.”

Velma digressed. “Look, Twi, don’t worry about it. She’s probably some psycho that has some type of…hoarding problem.”

“Yeah… I think you’re right.”

“Besides. This reminds me of a joke, ready?” She sat up. “What did the number 1… you get it, number 1?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Okay, what did the number 1 say to the number 2?”

Twilight raised her eyebrows.

Velma grinned. “Urine trouble now! Get it?”

“…No more sour gummy worms for you,” Twilight deadpanned, taking the bag away from her.

---

The next morning, Twilight showed up at Shining's college dorm room. "I am never going to the movies again!" She declared.

"Hey, what happened to you last night? I looked all over, I didn't see you," Shining said.

"I looked for you too, I saw all the way on the side."

"Oh, with Scooby-Doo Velma?" Shinning joked.

Twilight slapped him on the arm. "Quit it! Listen, you would not believe what happened. I was in the bathroom before the movie started, right?"

"Uh-huh..." He got up to get a snack.

"So, I'm in the bathroom, and there's no toilet paper!"

The young man stopped and back tracked a little, staring at his little sister in shock. "No...what?"

"Toilet paper!"

Shining's jaw dropped in realization. "Oh, no, whoa....."

Twilight continued, waving her arms around. "SO, I asked this woman in the stall next to me for some and she refuses!"

"Well, maybe she couldn't spare it," He suggested weakly.

Twilight stared at her brother in disbelief while he nervously scratched the back of his neck. "A square?"

Shining chuckled uneasily. "Well, you know, sometimes a square is everything!"

Twilight scoffed. "A ply?"

"Twily, you cannot judge a person in a situation like that, it's like asking for someone's cantine in the dessert!"

Twilight gave a tight smile, but her eyes glittered dangerously. "Well... I just hope I run into her again, because I've got that snobby voice embedded into my brain. If I hear it, watch out."

Shining Armor swallowed.