"Hey! Have you tried that new phone app?"

"You mean the weird looking one?"

"Yeah! It's so petite!"

"I don't understand why it makes me so hungry."

Eczeman

"Hey, Bob!"

"What, Jackman?"

"Can you guess who my favourite X-Men character is?"

"Who, Jackman?"

"No, it's Cyclops."

WHY DID THE TRANSGENDER CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

what a champ

"Hey, have you seen Carol?"

"No, but I think John's seen her."

what, a champ?

"Hey, do you know where John is? Apparently he knows where Carol is."

"Wait, what name did you say?"

"John; he's-"

"What?"

"John, see?"

"Nah."

what a, champ

"Oh, there you are, John."

"YO."

"I'm looking for Carol, I need her to-"

"SHE BEEN SUCKIN ON MAH JOHN 'TILL DAT SEMEN!"

"Well now you're just stretching for it."

And then I realised...

...this garbage has 17K+ words.

Namgam + Time Alone =

Namjam!

Painful Jokes

"What the hell, man?! Why'd you burn down that Starbucks?!"

"'Cause I like my coffee like I like my women!"

"I thought you were gay?"

"Exactly!"

"YOU KILLED 14 PEOPLE TO MAKE A FUCKING JOKE?!"

Of Clowns And Pirates

So I saw a picture of the new Changeling designs. My thought process went something like this:

"Oh. They look kinda stupid. I'm glad I'm not interested in the show anymore, it really seems to have been going on for too long. I mean, they do stuff like this just to sell more toys, but the original designs of Changelings looked way better. Non-black Changelings look very silly and-"

And then I remembered what my Brony avatar has been since day 1.