scene image "home"

"You walk into the bathroom to find Namgam literally eating shit."

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

"You leave and instead go to the kitchen to find Cube smashing mugs and eating the ceramic."

"What is it with Britain and eating weird shit?"

P "Well, I don't have the patience to talk to either of those fuckers today."

P "What do I do now?"

"Suddenly, a nearby TV turns on."

scene image "ransom tape"

hostage "OH GOD HELP ME"

hostage "IM BEIGN TORGUTED"

hostage "EURYGIFHSIUGBULIETBERIBR"

"Someone else starts talking in a distorted voice."

??? "If yOu Do NoT cOmE tO AsDa WiThIn OnE hOuR, tHe HoStAgE wIlL dIe."

"The TV turns off."

scene image "home"

"Well then."

"It looks like your next adventure has been decided."

"But this could be dangerous, should you get the fuckers to help?"

label backup:

menu:

"Get the fuckers.":

jump help

"Go alone.":

jump alone

label help:

"Yeah, you should probably get the fuckers."

"Maybe you could get lucky and they'll die."

scene image "asda outside"

show image "ng"

N "HOLY SHIT IT'S ASDA"

"You discover the emotion of regret."

"You head inside."

scene image "asda inside"

hide image "ng"

show image "me"

D "Hey, look!"

D "It's the hostage!"

hide image "me"

scene image "ransom tape"

"Nope, it's just another fucking TV."

??? "GoOd."

??? "NoW gO tO tHe BaGeL sEcTiOn."

scene image "asda inside"

"The TV exploded."

"Of course it did."

show image "me"

D "Let's go!"

hide image "me"

show image "ng"

N "YEAH!"

N "BAGELS COULD BE IN DANGER!"

hide image "ng"

"You go to the bagel section."

show image "present"

"You find a present."

P "Well."

show image "ng"

N "LET'S OPEN THIS FUCKER!"

hide image "ng"

show image "me"

D "FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!"

hide image "me"

"You open the present."

hide image "present"

"Fucking hell."

show image "shitmug"

"It's a mug full of shit."

show image "ng"

show image "me"

both at the smae tiiiiiime "FUCK YEEAAHHHHH"

hide image "me"

hide image "ng"

hide image "shitmug"

"They pounce on the mug of shit and eat it."

"Like lions on a zebra or some shit."

"You find it strangely..."

"...Erotic..."

"..."

"You hide in a nearby closet and jack off."

jump end of arc

label alone:

"Fuck those fuckers, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE BUT YOU'RE DOIN' IT ANYWAY!"

"FUCK YOU OLD GUY IN A CAVE!"

"I DON' NEED NO SWORD!"

scene image "asda outside"

"You arrive at ASDA."

P "Time to rescue that hostage!"

"You run inside."

scene image "asda inside"

"Nothing seems out of place."

"The corpses are still rotting,"

"the prisoners are still crying and bleeding,"

"and the zombies are still working overtime."

"Wait, zombies?"

P "It must be TTTTTThursday."

show image "zombie"

zombie "Hello again."

"The zombie slaps its ass."

zombie "You come here often."

"The zombie slaps its ass."

P "I need to find someone who's been taken hostage."

zombie "Try the hostage isle."

"The zombie slaps its ass."

P "What."

zombie "We have a discount on hostages right now, maybe you can find the one you need?"

"the zombie slaps its ass."

zombie "Well, I need to go do my taxes."

"The zombie slaps its ass."

zombie "See you later."

hide image "zombie"

"The zombie walks off, forever slapping its ass."

P "Taxes."

P "A zombie doing fucking taxes."

P "..."

P "Englandland is fucking weird."

"You go to the hostage isle."

"They're sold out."

P "Oh well, I tired."

"You go home."

jump end of arc

label end of arc:

CONTINUE SHIT HERERERRERERERERERER Next Chapter: Nailed It Estimated time remaining: 14 Minutes