THE GREETEST MLP FAN FIC EVER.

By commander jesus

WORDS OF INTEREST ARE IN ALL CAPS AND BOLD.

One day in Ponyville all of the ponies got together for a party. The party was for one of their birthdays or something. Oh yea, Pinkie threw the party. All of the ponies were invited, Except her LESBIAN crush Rainbow Dash. Jesus is a lazy writer and is not going to come up with a reason why. Anyway, Dash found out and was not happy about this, and planned to get revenge on Pinkie.

At the party, all of the ponies were there. There was Twilight Sparkle, Derpy, Rarity, that orange one and LEMMY (Yes, LEMMY Kilmister is at the party, deal with it you ungrateful fucks). Also gummy, because he is cool. There was weed, bitches, booze, MOTHERFUCKING BALLOONS, and pin the tail on the pony.

Derpy got so messed up she said “MUFFINS!” and threw up on Lemmy.

LEMMY was all like “Fuck you horse, you don’t exist!” and punched Derpy in the eyes, making them go crooked.

After everypony was extremely messed up, Rainbow Dash’s plan came into action.

Dash flew through the window of Twilight’s tree house (I know I forgot to mention that was were the party was, you’ll live), decided the party needed to be ABOUT 20% COOLER, and seduced Twilight.

She was all “Hey bitch lick my CANDY VAG”

And Twilight was all “Lawdy Lawdy, No! That’s yucky, and Colonel Sanders know I don’t be rollin dat way.”

“I don’t care you can’t resist my rainbow CANDY VAG!” Dash yelled

“Ok” said twilight, as she proceeded to eat Rainbow’s CANDY VAG in a cloud of LESBIAN PONY LOVE.

Then, after they were done, Rainbow Dash grew a a bigdenly appeared, Exposing her hidden CHEST BOMB. “PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!” She yelled, as She grew a bushy pubic hair-like beard, Put a towel on her head, and ripped open her button down shirt that had sudpressed the button and blew herself and the rest of the ponies up in the name of Allah.

Oh, and the lesbian sex scene was revenge for not being invited, or something. Also, Lemmy and Gummy survived and oped a bakery together. It was called: Lemmy and Gummy’s Bakery.

During all of this, Luna was being emo at her place and thought to herself

“Why don’t I ever get invited to parties?”

It turned out she was, but was too much of an attention whore to go, so she posted on her live journal about how depressed she was that she was not killed in the name of Allah by a rainbow terrorist with a pubic hair beard.

P.S. THEY WERE HIGH AS FUCK

Give me money

THE END?

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that you always should invite friends to your CRAAZZY NIGHTS OF STUDYING, even if you don’t want to because of reasons jesus has still not made up (lol u mad?) I also learned that terrorists not only disguise themselves as women and children, but also as rainbow LESBIAN ponies. Also, THAT ANONS ARE NIT-PICKY AS FUCK ABOUT MY SPELLING MISTAKES. Also, LESBIAN SEX is not a good way to get back at your friends. Also again (no, I'm not going back to edit this, fuck you) sometimes you just need to believe what you’re told, and accept Allah as our one and true savior. Praise be.

Your faith full student,

Timmy Turner