Author's Notes:

Posting it under insistence of several friends. You know how they say the best way to vent is by writing it out? Well, this is the product of several venting sessions through some really, really bad months.

Enjoy.

Special thanks to Misago and Sam for proof-reading and moral support, and special thanks to QT3 for helping me through the bad times that created this fic.

It was cruel the way in which Twilight’s heart permanently longed for Rarity despite knowing they would never be together. She knew it was wrong, but sweet Celestia, how she sometimes wished she were selfish enough to dare reach out; how she wished she weren’t afraid of the green scorching embers that would flicker and die if she gave in to her heart’s innermost desire.

How had she not seen it coming? She, who had studied countless books of psychology, had never even realized Spike had unknowingly conditioned her to love Rarity.

All those times he had gone on and on about the unicorn. It had been drilled into her mind: Rarity was beautiful, Rarity was generous, Rarity... was perfection incarnate. How many times had she heard it? How many times had it taken before she began to believe that it was true? Had there been a point where she would still have been able to pull on the reins before it was too late? Why had she not realized how deeply she had fallen into the chasm until that one terrible moment in which Rarity turned to look at her and Twilight had felt short of breath?

She could have moved on; that was the worst part. She could have moved on and not suffered from letting Spike’s own destiny with Rarity play out in whatever way it was meant to unfurl.

How blissfully happy she could have been if not for two bottles of Chardonnay.

Helping Rarity with a spell had been the excuse, while getting to spend some alone time with her had been the truth. How beautiful Rarity looked that night with her mane mildly undone, and the stem of a cherry hanging from her parted lips as she served herself her fifth or sixth glass of wine.

“Pinkie Pie told me something interesting,” Twilight informed her friend, quite coherent despite her three glasses of wine and generally low alcohol tolerance. She levitated one of the cherries from the cake resting on the table and continued: “She said that being able to tie the stem of a cherry with your mouth means you’re a good kisser.”

It was just trivia. A tidbit of knowledge that Twilight possessed so many of, and yet Rarity accepted it as a challenge, sucking the cherry stem into her mouth and getting to work. How cute she looked, thought Twilight, watching the unicorn furrow her brow as she concentrated on the unintended test she had been given. After a minute, Rarity smiled and stuck out her tongue to display the knotted cherry stem on it.

“My, my, my.” Rarity levitated her work of art and put it on top of her empty plate. Afterwards, she took her glass of wine, the liquid swooshing inside, and smirked at the alicorn. “Will you look at that.”

“It’s just a myth. It only means that you have good dexterity with your tongue muscles,” a suddenly flustered Twilight quickly informed, taking a different cherry to her mouth and biting it off the stem.

Rarity let out a haughty laugh at Twilight’s remark. She then leaned in a little and said in an alluringly insolent way: “Darling, I don’t need a cherry stem to know that I am an exceptional kisser.”

Oh really? Twilight wanted to say, Then kiss me, and I'll be the judge of that. “I'm sure your special somepony will appreciate that very much,” she said instead, using a laugh to mask the desire to lean in and test Rarity's assertion. She could not, however, hide the blush that graced her cheeks.

The rosyness of Twilight’s cheeks could have easily been blamed on the alcohol in her system, but Rarity knew better. She had always known better when it came to Twilight Sparkle. It was that silent understanding of everything Twilight had been, was, and would be, that would prove to be their downfall.

Rarity's glazed blue eyes locked with Twilight's. "Special somepony?" she repeated slowly, tasting the words in her mouth as if they were the wine in her glass. "I can't be with the special somepony I want." Everypony was capable of mixing bitterness and sadness in a single laugh, but she had perfected it to an art form.

Twilight took a long gulp of wine, the tangy taste drowning out the bitter one Rarity's statement had left in the back of her throat. "Why not?" Twilight asked, driven by the masochistic desire to find out who held the position in the unicorn's heart she so desperately coveted. "You don't think they love you back?" she asked, knowing that was impossible, for Rarity could get whomever she wanted just by smiling at them.

"Oh no, I'm quite sure she feels the same way about me," Rarity whispered, a small smile on her lips before sighing wistfully.

She? Oh, Spike… , Twilight thought, not even bothering to get her hopes up for herself. Even before she herself had fallen for Rarity, Twilight had already considered the possibility that Rarity wouldn't reciprocate the dragon's feelings.

"But that's not the problem," Rarity continued.

Plunging the dagger in her own breaking heart, Twilight gently asked: "Then what is?"

Rarity contemplated the alicorn for a moment before taking her glass and finishing the wine in a single sip. She put down the glass and leaned back in her chair, running a hoof through her mane and then toying with it. "I..."

"Rarity, you can tell me," Twilight encouraged, smiling at the mare, the dagger twisting more and more in her heart with each word she uttered.

Rarity's eyes darted back and forth from Twilight to the empty glass until they finally settled on looking towards the knotted cherry stem on the plate. "I'm afraid that it'll hurt Spike too much," she finally confessed, staring down at the plate with an expression much like a foal caught misbehaving.

"Oh..."

Twilight reached for her glass and traced the circular edge with her hoof, a knot forming in her throat. I'm so sorry, Spike, she thought, empathizing with how crushed the young dragon would be.

"Rarity… I… I'm not sure I'm the right pony to talk with about that," she whispered, her ears flattening against her skull. Privately asking for the dragon's forgiveness, she continued: "But if… if the one you love does love you back, I know that Spike loves you enough to care more about your happiness than his own. He's stronger than you think."

How wrong it sounded to implant her own thoughts and feelings onto Spike, but Twilight couldn't help herself. If he loved Rarity as much as Twilight loved her, then he would value Rarity's happiness above his own, as she did.

Rarity gazed at Twilight for a brief moment and then slowly shook her head. She served herself another glass of wine — her sixth? — and drank it. "No, you don't… you don't understand. If I go out with who I love, not only would I break his heart, but it would be nothing short of betrayal."

Twilight blinked. "Betrayal?"

"It's not just me, it's also who I love… It'll devastate him..." Rarity continued, that bitter smile once more making its way onto her lips. She sat up straight and pushed the bottle away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I think perhaps I've had too much… It's getting rather late, isn't it?"

Twilight shook her head. "Rarity, you brought this up for a reason," she said, pushing her own glass away. "Besides, whoever it is can't be that bad."

Rarity had made it seem like she had fallen in love with 'the worst possible pony’, and honestly Twilight couldn't think of anypony who'd fit the criteria except herself. Since it was laughably and painfully impossible for that to be right, Twilight allowed herself a chuckle and said: "You're making it sound like you've fallen in love with me or something."

It had been a joke — granted, a very sardonic joke, but a joke nonetheless. A coping mechanism that made the pain more bearable because the worst reply Rarity could have for it was the one she was expecting. But Rarity didn't laugh, nor deny any part of the joke. She just stared at Twilight with watering eyes before very subtly nodding, almost as if she herself was afraid of what she was admitting to.

"No," Twilight said, panic gripping her before being replaced by a nervous laugh. "You're kidding, right? Come on, who is it really?" She smiled, hoping her laugh didn't sound as fake to Rarity as it did to her.

Rarity just looked at her in complete and utter silence again, and Twilight Sparkle learned the meaning of despair.

"No," Twilight whispered, shaking her head and leaning back, her own eyes watering. Spike, Spike, Spike, Spike. He flashed in her mind over and over: his angered, miserable eyes; the smile he always reserved for Rarity shattered beyond recognition. "Rarity, please, no."

The unicorn nodded, burying her face in her hooves. "I'm sorry," she said through them. "I'm sorry. I-I needed to tell you. I couldn't take it anymore."

"Rarity," Twilight continued in a pleading voice, feeling short of breath. Who'd have thought that learning Rarity loved her back would be worst thing to ever happen? "W-we can't." The words burned in her throat like wildfire. "I can't."

"I know," Rarity replied in a muffled voice, face still buried in her hooves. "I can't either."

"Then why?" Twilight asked, her strained voice cracking over her own words. "If you know we can't, why… why would you tell me?"

"Because it hurts."

Rarity had always known that Twilight's affection for the little dragon ran deep. They ran as deep as the trenches in the oceans, as deep as the mysteries of the universe, and as deep as the hole Twilight's angered words had dug in her heart.

"You were lying."

Standing on the other side of Carousel Boutique’s front door, those had been Twilight’s first words to the unicorn after an entire week of silence, avoidance, denial, regret. “It’s midnight,” Rarity had replied, stifling a yawn and glancing at the night sky above, wondering how many nights of sleeplessness had it taken the alicorn to finally come see her.

“Take it back,” she continued coldly, letting Rarity know that an incorrect reply would ignite the fire bubbling under the surface of her words. Her eyes, always the windows to her soul, betrayed sadness, fear and love.

Rarity knew what the mare meant, but if she was to take part in a tragic love story, she’d play the part until the bitter end. “Take what back, darling?” she asked, her instant regret perfectly masked by a confused frown and slight tilt of her head. Why force Twilight to spell out what they both already knew? Why cause her even more pain than she already had? Misery, thy name is Rarity, and oh, do you love company.

Twilight gritted her teeth, obviously tired of the unicorn’s faux innocence. “What you said the other day. That you loved me,” she answered. “You were lying.” It was a statement, an order, a demand almost.

Rarity contemplated her for a minute before saying: “You’re right. I was lying. I suppose it was all the wine, but I apologize Twilight. I have never felt anything for you more than a completely and utterly platonic love, and it was wrong for me to imply otherwise. I take it all back.” There was no hint of hesitation in her voice, nothing that could betray or imply she was making up excuses.

And it shocked Twilight. She took a few step backs, hurt flashing through her eyes. “Liar…” Her ears flattened against her head, almost as if not wanting to hear more of what Rarity had to say.

“Is that not the answer you wanted?” Rarity asked, the frost in her voice still very much present.

Twilight winced, looking away. “I… I…”

Rarity’s expression softened at the sight. “Will it make it easier for you?” she asked gently, locking eyes with Twilight when the mare finally looked up. “Will it be easier for you if I lie about my feelings? Because if it will, then no. No, I do not love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight stared at her, trying to see into the depths of Rarity’s soul and into the feelings buried in her words. She stood up straight and said: “I don’t love you either, Rarity.” She took a step back, shaking her head as if to convince herself of the lie she was conceiving. “I don’t love you at all.”

She continued walking back, repeating endlessly those words as if they were a mantra, but really they were a confession of love. After all, it was in this same denial of love that rested the tangled web of feelings that tied them together.

The lives of every being in Equestria were filled to the brim with ordinary gestures. Idle actions that were never given second thoughts and were always taken for granted. Hugs, smiles, kisses on the cheek, looking at each other; those were things friends and family did everyday.

Rarity and Twilight, however, did so much more than that.

There were no such thing as a simple gesture between them. There were pretenses, make-believe, and levels of acting so subtle that nopony noticed their intensity save for themselves. With each passing day, each tick tock of the clock, their desire for each other grew and flourished, swirling inside their psyches and racing inside their minds, leaving scenarios that they desperately wanted but knew would never come to be.

It was odd, really, how the forbidden aspect of their situation was as alluring as it was painful.

There was something inexplicably seductive of the very idea of holding back the intense desire they held for each other, said desire only amplified by the very conscious knowledge that it consumed their every innocent move, every curious gaze, every fleeting touch — so charged with emotion and passion, it baffled them that the others couldn’t feel the tension that bounced back and forth between the two.

They built it up, thinking they were strong enough to hold it back forever. Harmless flirting, playful and strictly friendly banter, things of the like. It was their method of coping and they had both been so sure it would never go beyond that.

They had been wrong, of course.

They had been wrong and only did they find out how wrong they had been until the night they let themselves again be taken by three bottles of wine; until the moment Rarity asked to dance and they found the closeness between their bodies as intoxicating as the wine in their glasses; and until their hot breaths mingled as they threw caution to the wind and tasted the wine in each other’s lips.

Sounds of train whistles in the distance and ponies cantering around, hurrying to catch the departing trains. It wasn’t unusual for Ponyville’s Train Station to be that crowded on a wintery friday night, but it did not help that almost everypony had gone to see Rarity off to the December Fashion Festival in Manehattan.

A truly extraordinary amount of suitcases had been neatly stacked next to the train, fiercely guarded by a young dragon who insisted he 'could load Rarity’s suitcases by himself, thank you very much’.

Standing in line to buy a train ticket, Rarity and Twilight talked about everything and nothing at all. They talked about fashion week, they talked about Twilight’s royal duties, they talked and talked until they had said everything there was to say, silently watching the train in the distance.

“Would you run away with me?”

Twilight turned to look at the unicorn. Rarity looked intently at the train, no emotion on her face, and for a minute Twilight thought she might have been hearing things. “Sorry?”

“If I bought us two one-way tickets right now to anywhere in Equestria, would you run away with me?” she asked again, still looking away.

Twilight’s first instinct was to say yes, but she knew they couldn’t. Both of them carried responsibilities; Rarity had her shop and her little sister, and Twilight had her royal duties and Spike. Spike... “We can’t,” she said and watched Rarity’s lips curve into a sad smile. “We should have reserved tickets at least a day in advance. Really, Rarity, it’s like you’ve never bought a ticket during the holidays before.”

And just like that, the tension was broken and she drew a soft laugh out of the unicorn, her smile turning into a bright one. “Yes, I suppose we should have,” she admitted, sighing as dramatically as she possibly could. She then turned to look at the alicorn, tilting her head to the side. “If I bought tickets for this day next year, would you run away with me then?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said, grinning. “Except we’re going to get caught, you know? A princess eloping with a fashionista? That’s bound to attract attention,” she pointed out, taking a few steps ahead in line. “And that’s not even considering that we would need a place to live. How would we even get an income?”

“Now, darling, don’t be so negative!” Rarity exclaimed, brushing Twilight’s fringe back with her hoof. “Think of how romantic it would be! You and I, fighting against all odds to survive, our love growing stronger with every passing trial? I’m swooning already!”

“And then you instantly regretting everything the second you realize daily visits to the spa wouldn’t have a place in our lives as fugitives?” Twilight teased, raising her eyebrow. “And me having to sit there and listen to your theatrics for hours? Sounds amazing.”

Rarity giggled, leaning in. “Doesn’t it?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t wait.”

In that moment, Twilight felt as if they weren’t kidding anymore. She felt as if Rarity was really entertaining the idea of running off together, no cares nor worries, except for being with each other.

Her train of thought came to a halt when Rarity turned away all of a sudden, and she realized they’d reached the ticket booth, where a bored looking mare waited impatiently to get on with their order. “Welcome to Ponyville Train Station,” she droned on, adjusting the glasses on her nose. “Do you have a reservation? Or would you like to purchase tickets?”

“Both!” Rarity exclaimed brightly, slamming her hoof against the window counter. “I have a reservation for today’s eight o’clock train to Manehattan, under the name Rarity. And I would like to purchase two tickets for the midnight train exactly one year from now, if you please.”

Twilight immediately spoke up, putting her hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Rari—”

“Ma’am, we currently have no information on the schedule of train’s from next year. We couldn’t be able to tell you where it’s headed,” the mare interrupted.

“Oh, that doesn’t matter at all! I’ll take them anyway, please!” Rarity replied, floating bits from out her bitbag and giving them to the attendant, who seemed unimpressed by the unicorn’s flare for adventure. “I believe that should cover it, yes?”

Five minutes later, Rarity and Twilight walked away from the ticket booth, three tickets floating teasingly in front of them.

“Here you go, darling!” Rarity exclaimed, handing over one of the tickets to Twilight. “You have exactly one year to prepare yourself emotionally for my endless dramatic theatrics.”

Twilight laughed. “I don’t think a lifetime would be enough to prepare me for that, Rarity.”

Rarity laughed haughtily. “Then, darling, you will simply have to learn to live with it.”

"I think Rarity likes somepony."

Twilight looked up from her desk and towards the young dragon standing in the middle of the room, idly sweeping the same spot for a full minute. "Huh?" she asked, hoping the dragon hadn't noticed how she'd frozen up at his words.

Spike turned to look at her, letting his claw and the broom it held fall limp to his side. She scanned him for anger and hatred but found instead worry and hurt. "I overheard Sweetie Belle and Applebloom talking. They said she liked somepony. A mare." He wrapped both claws around the broom's shaft and looked down, staring holes at the ground. "You..."

Twilight's eyes widened, feeling as if though the air was being forcibly drawn out from her lungs and leaving her to choke. It felt like the consequences of what she had done had finally caught up to her. She… she couldn’t help having fallen for Rarity, could she? She hadn’t meant to; she hadn’t wanted to. Why would she willingly inflict such pain upon herself— upon Spike?

"You're her best friend. Do… do you know who it is?" he continued, the relief she should have felt from his question never making its appearance. Her secret was safe, but the way he looked at her, beseeching her for an answer, was just as terrible as if he knew the truth.

She wanted to lie and tell him she did not know who held the position he so coveted, but she felt as if though lying would be even more of an insult and betrayal to him. He caught on quickly enough to what her silence implied, opening his mouth and closing it several times. The sound of the broom’s bristles scratching against the floor flooded the room, the dragon having gone back to cleaning the library.

“You’re not gonna tell me,” he stated, not bothering to prove his assumption right by looking up to see Twilight’s miniscule nod. He sweeped and sweeped and sweeped, until he stopped and asked: “Do I know her?”

Do I know her? Do I know her? Do I know her? Over, and over. The question played in her mind for what felt like an eternity, though not as loudly as the answer. Yes, you do. You love her now, and you’ll hate her once you find out, but not as much as she hates herself.

He looked at Twilight in silence, knowing once more that silence said more than the thousands of words, apologies, explanations, excuses she could offer. She wanted to say something, but she couldn’t, she couldn’t, she couldn’t and in his eyes she saw pained betrayal dawning in them as he realized the tacit answer to his question.

And it was too much.

Because if his eyes showed that much pain with just knowing he knew said mare, what would they show if they knew it was her? She who he loved as dearly as a sister; she who he’d probably go to the ends of the earth for; she who he trusted so implicitly and so profoundly, that it had never even occurred to him that she might be the one who took Rarity’s heart.

"No, you don't."

And he believed her.

He nodded solemnly before asking one more final fatal question. "Is… is she better than me?”

“No.”

She didn’t even have to think it; the reply came instantaneously, even before she had the time to process it. No, she wasn’t better than him. No, she wasn’t better than anypony. She was herself and that did not put her above or below Spike. It just put here in a position where Rarity wanted her and…

“You mean it?”

Her thoughts interrupted, Twilight blinked and then nodded solemnly. “Yes. I mean it, Spike. Nopony could ever hope to be better than you.”

He laughed bitterly. “I wish you didn’t. Rarity deserves the best.”

“I know.”

I'm not it.

Three words she repeated to herself over and over as she walked towards Carousel Boutique.

Three words that weighed as heavily in her heart as the three slow knocks on a purple door.

Three words she told Rarity, tears in her eyes, when she said it couldn’t go on anymore.

She had to move on even if it hurt. She had to move on like the tides of the sea, like the clouds in the sky, like the wind through the trees. She had to move on even if she could see the pain it brought two of the most important beings in her life. That was the move Rarity decided to play amidst the three player game where she could not win no matter what she did.

So she chose to be the one that lost the most.

"Do you love him?"

A lovely picnic interrupted by a single question. The expression in her eyes masked by her sunglasses, Rarity looked away from the four ponies and dragon playing in the distance and turned to the Princess of Friendship sitting besides her. Now she understood why Twilight had rejected the invitation to join the impromptu game of hoofball Rainbow Dash had organized.

“We’ve only gone out three times, Twilight.”

Twilight was quiet, staring into the distance. “Why him, though? There are others who love you a lot more than he does. Others for who I gave us up for,” she specified, resentment and bitterness present in her voice. “I thought the reason we did this was so you'd wait until you and Spike could—”

“I love Spike very much, Twilight,” Rarity interrupted, looking towards the dragon in question. “But I don’t love him in the way he — and you, it seems — want me to love him. As much as I wish I could, I cannot control my feelings.”

Twilight turned to her, frowning, angry almost.“But then what was the point of—”

“Tell me something, Twilight Sparkle,” Rarity interrupted once more, her expression calm and controlled. “Before all this… Before I confessed my feelings to you, you seemed quite convinced that I was allowed to love somepony other than Spike, even if it would hurt him. Were you lying? Did you expect me to fall in love with him? Did you think I had to? Am I a prize to be won, a reward?”

Twilight looked taken aback, just as Rarity expected her to. “N-No, of course not.”

Rarity frowned and turned to look at her. “Then why do you do now? What, am I now supposed to ease the guilt my feelings have brought upon you by forcing myself to date Spike?” she asked, an edge to her voice. “Forget what that means for me, haven’t you ever considered how unfair that would be towards him? How cruel, even?”

“Why can’t you try to— When he's a bit older, and--”

“You truly think it's that easy?!” Rarity snapped, lifting her sunglasses so Twilight could see her eyes. See the pain, the regret, the desperation. “Don’t you think I know how dearly he loves me? You think I want to be in this position?! But what can I do, Twilight? Tell me! We can't date without breaking his heart, and the whole point of this was to avoid that! So now what can we do? Are we supposed to never move on?! Just wallow in self-pity for the rest of our days?"

Twilight was left speechless by Rarity’s words, her ears flattening against her head and her eyes barely able to hold eye-contact with the unicorn. She had clearly not expected that outburst, and Rarity almost instantly regretted it at realizing the effect it had on the mare.

Rarity sighed. “Spike loves me, Twilight. I have no doubt he would encourage our relationship if he knew about it, even if it ripped him to shreds. Do you really think it’s even remotely fair for me to date him without being in love with him; to use him solely as means to ease the guilt we have? No, I love him far too much to do something so horrid like that to him.

“In fact, I already have,” she continued, laughing bitterly. “Imagine if he found out. Imagine if he found out the pain we’ve caused each other for his sake? It would kill him more than anything we could do. Funny, isn’t it? By trying to spare him, we’ve accidentally buried ourselves so deep that there is no way to get it right anymore. There is no way we can spare him of the pain without someone being the villain.

“Whatever I do, Twilight, makes me the villain of this story. If I don’t date Spike, then I’m the monster, for lack of saying that b-word ponies love throwing around. If I date him, I'm using his feelings. If I try and move on then, once again, I’m a monster."

"Stop saying that. You're not a..."

"But I am, darling. And if I date you, then Spike will realize what we did and…” She looked away, sighing once more. “No matter what I do, I can’t win without somepony getting hurt. And I accept it."

"Rarity..."

The unicorn put her sunglasses back; the veil once more in place. "Make no mistake, Twilight. We made our bed and now we must lie in it, even though it hurts. I accept my role in this story, Twilight..." She turned to look at the alicorn. "Especially if it means that neither you nor Spike will be the villain."

When Twilight looked down, biting her lip, Rarity gently lifted her chin with her hoof. "You need to be his hero, Twilight. Even if it hurts, and even if you feel like you shouldn't be, you will have to be there for him because he will need you. Besides, that’s what you were always going to do, wasn't it? Be his rock when I inevitably had to break his heart, no matter who I fell in love with." She took her hoof back and drew a smile in the air with it. "Now chin up, darling, and let's play our part, shall we? You, the tragic hero, and I, the tragic villainess."

She laughed all of a sudden. "Goodness, I am dramatic, aren't I? This feels like out of one of my novels. Actually..." She rubbed her mouth with her hoof, narrowing her eyes behind the sunglasses. "Maybe when I'm old and grey, I'll use a pen name and write a novel about this and make millions of bits!" She glanced at Twilight, looking at her in a playfully condescending way. "I suppose I can give you some of the money I make from it."

And like a ray of sunshine, Twilight smiled. She smiled and it was that smile Rarity had fallen for; that smile for which she'd kill. "Rarity…" And so it disappeared as soon as it arrived. "I… I don't want this."

Rarity's perfect facade fell by one look of that broken expression. "The train ticket." She took her sunglasses off again and put on a very serious expression. "Do you still have it?"

"Of course," Twilight replied without hesitating or thinking about it.

"Eight months," Rarity continued. "For eight months, it's over between us. We will both move on, or try to, at least. Then the day will come, and if you still want to run away with me, and if I still want to run away with you, we will meet in that train station and become the villains of this story."

Twilight was quiet for a moment. "And if one of us doesn't show up?"

"Then whoever is left will let that train's departure be the end of our story."

The unforgiving december night air bit at the bodies of the ponies rushing around Ponyville's Train Station. Scarves hid runny noses from sight, earmuffs covered sensible ears, and boots protected hooves from sleet and mud. Nopony really payed attention to the lonely princess sitting on a bench, a single train ticket in-between her hooves.

Fold marks decorated the worn-out train ticket, and Twilight was surprised she hadn't ripped it already considering the many times she had looked at it during the past few months. Adjusting her scarf, she looked up at the clock hanging from the ceiling and felt her heart shrink in her chest.

Half past ten.

She had been waiting for almost four hours already.

She looked down and noticed the station was starting to empty out. There was only one more train leaving that night, and only a handful of ponies seemed to be waiting for it — and none of them were Rarity. She laughed softly, shaking her head. Of course Rarity wouldn’t come.

All those months ago, when Rarity had said it was over between them, Twilight had taken it to heart. She dated other ponies… Okay, well, she dated just one pony. A nice pony she had met at Ponyville’s marketplace. Granted, it didn’t last long, but still!

In any case, if Twilight dating had ever bothered Rarity, the mare had never shown signs of it. She too kept her side of the bargain, dating a few ponies as well. They never lasted long, however, and the unicorn always blamed it on her busy schedule. Was it wrong for Twilight to always hope there was another reason? One that involved her?

The weeks coming up to December had been the worst. A trillion outcomes had formed in her head when she realized she’d soon have to decide if she would show up at the train station. Ranging from horrifying to wonderful, the endless possibilities terrified her if only because she had no way of knowing which would come to be.

At the sound of the conductor’s voice, she opened her eyes and saw suitcases being loaded onto the train. She put the ticket in the small saddlebag she’d brought along and followed the ponies outside of the station.

A couple near her talked vividly about the plans they had, about the future they shared now that they had been reunited. She followed them all the way outside, until the cement under her hooves became frosty grass. She watched the couple trot away, the cold incenting them to walk closer together, their tails intertwining as they went.

She looked up at the night sky, snowflakes mixing themselves with the stars scattered up above. She picked a star, the one that shined the brightest, and wished that that could be her and Rarity. Two ponies in love, discussing their future without a care in the world. But, then again, she knew perfectly well that science dictated stars didn’t grant wishes.

Twilight had seen Rarity earlier that morning. A breakfast between friends, and nopony thought to ask why she had been so quiet. The usual routine took place, everypony asking each other what were their plans for the day. A picnic with Pinkie, had said Fluttershy. Repainting the farm, Applejack continued. Napping, Rainbow Dash proclaimed. And finally, Rarity’s turn came, and suddenly it felt like Twilight’s entire life hinged on the unicorn’s answer.

“Spa!” she had exclaimed, clapping her hooves together. ”A long day at the spa. I’m taking the deluxe treatment. After which I’ll spend the afternoon with Sweetie Belle, I believe.”

That’s it?, Twilight had wanted to ask. Her heart had dropped when Rarity didn’t so much as glance her way, didn’t betray any thought that she had other plans. It was obvious she wouldn’t just announce their plans to everypony but… but if she was planning on going through with them, she’d at least have given Twilight a sign, wouldn’t she? Maybe she did move on.

And yet.

And yet there was Twilight, waiting in the cold outside a nearly empty train station. She sneezed one, two, three times before heading back in, her heart weighing in her chest. Her hooves felt heavy as she trotted back towards her bench, idly glancing up at the clock when she passed by it.

Quarter to eleven.

She sat down on the bench and took the ticket out of her bag. I’ll just wait thirty more minutes, she lied to herself, knowing painfully well that she would wait hours after midnight. Everything was wrong. She shouldn’t be there.

Eleven o'clock.

She folded and unfolded the ticket as she let her grim thoughts get the best of her, barely processing the sounds of the other ponies trotting around the station. It was a mistake to come. Even Rarity had realized it would have been a mistake to come. She had wasted her ti—

“Sweetheart, stop playing with the ticket like that,” a muffled, gentle voice scolded. “It would be a shame if our escapade was cancelled because you ripped your ticket in half, don’t you think?”

Slowly, carefully, the alicorn looked up and found that maybe stars did grant wishes after all. For a brief moment, Twilight reflected that the unicorn had never looked cuter all wrapped in assorted winter wear: a lavender scarf so large it was loosely wrapped four times around her neck and once around her muzzle; a pair of earmuffs on her head; four matching boots; and the tip of a nose pink from the cold. Then again, maybe she looked like that because even her mere presence there had seemed so impossible, that now it felt Twilight like she had to be dreaming.

“You’re here,” Twilight stated. It wasn’t really the best line to use for the moment, but she needed to re-state the fact just to make sure it was actually happening.

“I am,” Rarity replied, smiling softly. She then took a seat next to Twilight, adjusting her ear muffs and scarf before looking at the lone train in the distance and asking: “Where is it headed?”

“Canterlot.”

Rarity laughed. “Ah. So much for running away far from our loved ones,” she said dryly. “Maybe it’s a sign. Maybe it’s a sign that this is the worst mistake of our life and destiny is trying to veer us in the right direction. Maybe this is just how I couldn’t find my ticket.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “You don’t have your ticket?”

Rarity smiled thinly. “Of course I have my ticket,” she said, the paper in question floating from out of the saddlebag she had brought. “But until an hour ago, I was still looking for it. That’s why I’m so fashionably late, I’m afraid.”

“Oh…” Twilight looked down at her ticket and confessed: “I thought… I thought it was because you weren’t going to come.”

Rarity was quiet for a minute, still looking intently at the train in the distance. “I very nearly didn’t come, Twilight Sparkle,” she said, and Twilight felt her heart drop again. “I thought the fact that I couldn’t find the ticket meant this wasn’t supposed to happen. But then, I found it and…”

“And…?” Twilight prompted gently.

“And here I am,” she finished unceremoniously, as if though she had changed her mind and answer seconds before. She sat down next to the alicorn and suddenly took her hoof, still avoiding eye-contact. “And I’m terrified by what the both of us being here means. I’m terrified of what it means will happen.”

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't try," Twilight reflected, looking back to the train. "Right?"

Rarity leaned a bit on Twilight, laughing. "Twilight Sparkle, when did we switch places?" she asked. "I'd like to go back to being the romantic one, please, not the needlessly worrying one."

The ticking of the station clock was the only thing they heard as minute after minute passed, its hand getting closer and closer to reuniting with the midnight mark. Quarter past eleven came and went. They talked about where they would go once they arrived in Canterlot. They talked about what they would do, how they’d live day after day, together as runaways. Half past eleven came along, and they talked about what they would be leaving behind. Their families, their friends, a promising career in fashion design, and the title of Princess of Equestria. Finally, midnight arrived to the sound of the conductor’s voice.

Last call for midnight train to Canterlot.

“Ready to go?” asked Twilight, watching as the very last ponies boarded the train.

Last call for midnight train to the biggest mistake of their life.

“Of course,” Rarity replied, putting the ticket back inside her bag. “And you?”

Last call for midnight train to the best mistake of their life.

“Of course.”

And so, to the sound of a loud whistle and turning engines, Rarity and Twilight watched in silence as the last train left the station. Last call for midnight train to an option that both knew had never been an option in the first place. They had known it a year ago, eight months ago, and that same morning, when they didn’t even bother to keep up the charade long enough to pack a suitcase.

The walk back home was a long one for the two mares, but they didn’t mind. Sharing the lavender scarf Rarity had brought, they trotted side by side, their tails intertwined like the couple Twilight had seen. Considering it was well past midnight, the streets were empty save for a couple of ponies: some came out of bars, rosy cheeks and rosy noses brought on by something other than the cold; others went home for the day, closing up their shops in the main street of the town; and finally, there were the couples who, like Twilight and Rarity, thought the beautiful snowy night could not afford to be wasted indoors.

They admired the Hearth Warming Eve decorations and lighting that adorned the houses they trotted by. Passing through the main square, they noticed three street musicians sitting under a street lamp, offering softly sung carols to whoever stopped by to listen.

They stayed for a while, until their cold hooves forced them to move on. They trotted in silence down the winding path, eventually reaching the one that lead to the castle in the distance, understanding that their paths were now meant to separate. Twilight noticed light coming from one of the windows of the castle. Spike had stayed up late reading comics again, no doubt.

"He still likes you."

Silence.

"This isn't fair for anypony, and it certainly isn't solving anything," Rarity finally said, her whispered words drawing the attention of the other pony. "What are we going to do?"

Twilight looked back towards the castle, furrowing her brow. Wasn't that the million bit question? "We have three options," she replied finally. “One, we both walk away and move on with our lives.”

“Isn’t that what we tried and failed to do?”

“Two, we tell Spike the truth, deal with the consequences, and hope for the best.”

Rarity sighed. “That’s what we’re going to have to do, won’t we?” She laughed and rubbed her hoof against her forehead. “Gods, we’re cowardly idiots, aren’t we? We wasted an entire year avoiding what we always knew we had to do. Sometimes I wonder if Spike was just the excuse, and really we were just afraid of what might go wrong if we got together.” Silence. “Don’t answer that.”

“It’s late,” Twilight replied instead. She had to get home to her best friend, knowing that he’d hate everything about her in a week’s time. “Can you stop by the castle in a week?”

“A week?” Rarity smiled. “A week for us to go back on our words if we regret this?”

“No. A week for me to find a spell that’ll make my coat fire-proof.”

Rarity smiled at that, shaking her head. “A week it is, then!” She paused. A soft whisper. “A week it is.”

Silence. Silence as they let the minutes tick by. “What was the third option?” Rarity asked.

“We wait until he gets over you or finds somepony else.” She turned to Rarity and found her smiling.

“How romantic,” she murmured. “How long does a dragon’s love last?”

Twilight closed her eyes. A question she had asked herself many times before. “I don’t know,” she replied. “Maybe ten years, maybe a hundred.”

Rarity took a deep breath and turned around, starting to trot away from the alicorn. A few feet away, she stopped. “Would you wait for me, Twilight Sparkle?” she asked, not turning back to look at Twilight. “Would you wait with me?”

“Of course.”

Rarity laughed one last time before trotting off, never once looking back. “Goodnight, darling.”

Twilight watched in silence until the unicorn disappeared amidst the snowflakes that fell down to the ground. How long does a dragon’s love last? A question no book could answer, and no pony or dragon either. A question no power on earth could answer but the passing of time itself. She was, however, certain about one thing. Nopony knew how long did a dragon’s love last, but a pony’s longing…

A pony’s longing lasted a lifetime.