by Majin Syeekoh

Chapter 1: Public Indecency

Twilight Sparkle woke up to a chorus of birdsong outside of her window. Her eyelids felt heavy, but Friendship wasn’t going to run itself. With a heavy groan, she pulled her head off of the pillow, scratched her back, and pried her eyes open. She lazily rolled out of bed onto her hooves and grabbed her saddlebags. She then thought about what to do next.


Twilight staggered out of her bedroom and made the long trek to the kitchen. She eyed the refrigerator as she closed in on it, opening it quickly. She scanned the contents.

No, this can’t be!

She perused the insides of the refrigerator again. There was no coffee. She groaned and looked at the cabinets.

I swear, if Spike put the coffee in the cabinets instead of the fridge again…

Twilight opened every single cabinet door and examined each in turn. When she was halfway through, she heard the soft pitter-patter of dragon feet behind her.

“Good morning, Spike,” said Twilight.

“Morning, Twi,” Spike replied as he rubbed his eyes.

Twilight continued to rifle through the cabinets. “Do you know where the coffee is?”

“Oh, we ran out last night.”

Twilight froze. “Last… night?” She turned towards Spike and paced towards him. “What were you doing running out of coffee last night?”

“Oh, RD and I had a coffee drinking contest last night—”

Twilight grabbed Spike’s face and turned it to her. “With my coffee?”

“What, it’s not like you just can’t get more—”

Spike snorted.

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “What’s so funny?”

“Ah, it’s nothing, Twi. Why don’t you just get a cup at Sugarcube Corner?”

Twilight grunted. “That’s an inefficient use of funds! Do you know how much they gouge prices on coffee there?”

Spike giggled and shrugged. “Well, it’s either that or go to Barnyard Bargains and come back to the castle and brew it up yourself.”

“Ugh, I don’t have time for that,” Twilight said as she turned tail and walked away. “Need coffee now.”

“Alright,” Spike said with a stupid smile on his face, “have fun.”

Twilight pressed her eyes shut, then opened them. “I wonder what his problem is. Probably the caffeine overload,” she said as she walked out of the door of her castle.

Outside, she looked upon the wondrous view of Ponyville that her new residence afforded her. She could make out the small shapes of ponies milling about and starting their day. On a normal day, she would walk the trail to town and admire the various flora and fauna along the path.

But not today.

She need her coffee, and she needed it now.

Twilight charged up her horn and teleported to outside of Sugarcube Corner. She smiled as she looked upon the gingerbread-styled residence slash shop. She trotted inside.

Inside was the usual hustle and bustle that came with the early morning rush at Sugarcube Corner—ponies were reading the paper, whispering sweet nothings at each other, or drinking their coffee.

Like I should be.

Twilight shook her head as she walked up to the counter, noticing that a hush had taken over the cozy shop. She approached the counter and rang the bell. Mr. Cake walked out with a smile on his face which quickly turned neutral when he laid eyes on Twilight.

“Hi, uh, Twilight, don’t… normally see you here. What can I get you?”

Twilight glared at Carrot Cake. “Five shot caramel macchiato. Now.

“Uh, right away, Princess Twilight.”

“Just Twilight is fine.”

“Okay,” Carrot said as he went to the back. “Five shot caramel macchiato for the Princess!”

Twilight grunted. She didn’t like how ponies treated her differently just because she was an Alicorn Princess. It made her rather uncomfortable, thank you very much. She closed her eyes to think, but couldn’t because now she could hear hushed whispers.

“She leaves her house like that?”

“How inappropriate!”

“I wonder where I can get that.”

Due to the lack of caffeine and extreme tiredness, she swiveled around and addressed the crowd.

“Look, I was very tired today and I really wanted a cup of coffee. I didn’t have time to shower. I’m sorry that my hair isn’t perfectly straight or one of my coat hairs is out of alignment.”

A yellow pegasus with a seafoam green mane spoke up. “It’s not that, Twilight—”

“—look, Raindrops, I’m a normal pony just like all of you. This is what I look like in the mornings. It’s not pretty.”

“I’ll say,” Raindrops said.

Twilight smiled. “Good. I’m glad we can agree on that.”

“Coffee’s ready!” Pinkie said as she exited the kitchen. “Five shot caramel macchiato for Twilight!”

“Thank you, Pinkie,” Twilight said as she turned back to the counter

“No problem! That’ll be five bits.”

Twilight grunted as she retrieved the five bits from her saddlebag and placed them on the counter. “You should really look into lowering your coffee prices.”

“Can do, Twilight! By the way,” Pinkie said as she leaned in, “your seat belt’s hanging out.”

Twilight blinked. “My… seat belt?”

Pinkie nodded excitedly. “Yep! You miiiight want to look into tucking that in.”

Twilight looked back to see that, yes, her seat belt was indeed hanging out. She looked back among the ponies. “Is… that what you were all talking about?”

The patrons all nodded in agreement.

Twilight blushed and giggled as she tucked her seat belt back in. “Oh, sorry. I usually try to tuck that in when I shower.” Twilight grasped her coffee with her magic and sipped on it awkwardly. “I should probably get going now, hah hah.”

She took another awkward sip, then teleported out of Sugarcube Corner.

Spike chortled as he munched on a topaz.

Wow, I really got her good.

His last crunch was cut short as Twilight appeared in front of him, eyes slitted. She sipped on her coffee.

“At what point were you planning on telling me that my seat belt was hanging out?” she asked as she sipped on her coffee again.

Spike giggled nervously. “You have to admit it was pretty funny, right?”

Author's Notes:

It's canon.

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