Pony Rockby AspergerGoodness
Chapters
- Let's Get It Started in Here
- Friday Night Special
- They Call Me the Talent Seeker
- I See a Darkness
- The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 1 of 3
- The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 2 of 3
- The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 3 of 3
Let's Get It Started in Here
Fluttershy's playing her guitar to the animals around her house, looking for some peace and quiet. It's only 9 a.m., and it's already too chaotic outside, so she takes shelter in her garden. Suddenly, she sees Pinkie Pie, her tail twitching like crazy. Realizing what this means, Fluttershy hides inside. Soon enough, she hears a really loud crash, and comes out to see Rainbow Dash, face planted on the floor.
"Rainbow Dash? What happened?", asks Fluttershy, worrying about her friend.
"Fluttershy? Oh, I just distracted myself. You see... I was flying way too fast, and I accidentally... hit a bird.", says Rainbow Dash, unflattening herself from the floor.
"A bird?"
"... yea."
"Was it a big bird?"
"It was just... about my size."
"You're not hurt, right?"
"No, no. I'm perfectly fine."
"Are you going back up?"
"I think I woke up with my left hoof. Not worth trying. What were you playing before I fell down?"
"Oh, it's just a song I made. Would you like to hear it?"
"I would love to."
While Fluttershy is playing her song, Pinkie Pie shows up. Fluttershy got slightly frustrated. She just wanted some peace, and suddenly, everyone wants to talk to her.
"Hey, Fluttershy! Are you serenading?", jokes Pinkie.
"No!", answers Fluttershy, not knowing it's just a joke.
"You two would make a good couple.", says Pinkie. She can't just stop making a joke that sounds funny.
"Cut it out, Pinkie.", says Rainbow Dash, with an acknowledging smile.
"Alright, alright. Hey, Dashy, can you play an instrument?", asks Pinkie, coming up with a brilliant idea.
"Yes, I do.", answers Rainbow Dash.
"Which one?", asks Fluttershy.
"I play the heck outta the drums!", answers Rainbow Dash, with a proud tone in her voice.
"I can play bass...", says Pinkie Pie. "... kinda."
"What do you have in mind, Pinkie?", asks Fluttershy, already knowing the answer.
"How about we gather the others and form a band together?", suggests Pinkie Pie, acting excessively hyper.
"Great idea!", Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash say in chorus.
"A band?", asks Rarity. "What kind of music do we play?"
"We'll decide on that later. Can you play an instrument?", says Pinkie Pie.
"I can get the piano, if nopony has taken that place yet."
"Welcome to the band!"
"So you gals are sudn'ly wantin' to enter the music business?", asks Applejack. "Ah'm not sure if ah'm ready. Think of all the pressure..."
"Pressure? No one's told me about pressure!", asks Fluttershy, remembering her failure at the Cloudsdale Talent Show. It was a day she wishes she could have forgotten forever.
"Relax, Fluttie. She's just shoving things up your head.", says Rainbow Dash, trying to comfort her friend.
"... ah'll join you gals. Has anyone taken the lead guitar part?"
"No. Welcome to the band!", says Pinkie Pie.
"... so you're saying you girls wanna form a band together?", asks Twilight. "I don't know, girls. What am I going to do with my books?"
"Don't worry, Twilight. It's just a local band. It's not like we're traveling all over the world or anything.", says Pinkie Pie.
"What do you mean? We'll only play in Ponyville?", asks Twilight.
"Cloudsdale and Canterlot as well.", says Rarity.
"Well, that sounds good. Besides, I can always have Spike watch the library for me. But I can't play any instruments..."
"... can you at least sing well?", asks Rainbow Dash.
"I... guess so. You can ask Spike about this.", says Twilight, having practiced every night, when she's feeling too quiet.
"Well, doesn't matter. You can join us!", says Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie...", says Fluttershy, wanting to talk to her privately.
"What is it, Fluttershy?"
"I was wondering... if I could be the singer instead."
"Sorry, Fluttershy, but Twilight can't do any other thing. But you can always try backup!"
"Yeah, I guess you're right..."
"Wait a second, Pinkie. Where are we going to play first?", asks Fluttershy.
"We gotta jam some tunes out first.", says Rainbow Dash.
"I'm good friends with the studio guys at the Music School of Ponyville.", says Rarity. "I once helped them with the costumes for a talent show."
"Maybe you could book us then!", says Twilight.
"Twilight, this isn't the time for books!", says Pinkie Pie.
"No, I meant, you could get us to play there, couldn't you, Rarity?"
"No worries. Are you guys free tomorrow?", says Rarity.
"Not until 10 a.m.", says Fluttershy.
"Same here.", says Rainbow Dash.
"Ah ain't got that much work to do tomorrow, maybe 2 p.m.?", says Applejack.
"Tomorrow's Saturday, so I'm free anytime.", says Twilight.
"I'm always free!", says Pinkie Pie.
"Alright then. Everyone, meet me at the studio, tomorrow, at 3 p.m."
"Deal!", all five say in chorus.
And so, the Mane 6 join together, with one common thought: this is going to be the best time of their whole lives.
Friday Night Special
It's 7 a.m. Pinkie Pie wakes up, and goes outside to meet her friends at the Music School. Arriving, she finds Twilight and Rarity, waiting for the others.
"Hey, girls!", says Pinkie.
"Hey, Pinkie. We were waiting for you.", says Twilight. "Wanna do something while we wait for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?"
"We could go for some breakfast!", suggests Pinkie. "My stomach calls for some eating."
"That sounds great!", says Rarity. "I haven't eaten in a long time."
"Where do we go then?", asks Twilight.
"How about some ice cream?", suggests Pinkie.
"... sounds good to me.", says Twilight. "How about you, Rarity?"
"Anything will do. I'm simply starving."
At the ice cream store, Rarity orders the least-fattening thing she could find, while Pinkie Pie orders the most colorful one. Twilight just orders what she likes best: chocolate with marshmallow and peanuts.
"Rarity, I thought you said you were starving.", says Twilight. "Are you sure you don't want anything else?"
"That'll do just fine.", says Rarity. "I asked Applejack to bring us some apples when she arrived at the studio."
"Speaking of that, it's almost 10 a.m.!", says Twilight, surprised by how fast time went by. "We should hurry up, so we can wait for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy at the door!"
"But our food has just arrived!", says Rarity. "Besides, no one ever arrives at the given time. They're always a few minutes late."
"I guess you're right. We should hurry up though. I bet Rainbow Dash will get there faster than you can think."
Twilight was right. Rainbow Dash arrived at the same time as them. Fluttershy came in ten seconds later.
"Hey there, Twilight! Are we late?", asks Rainbow Dash, proud of her punctuality skills.
"No, you two arrived just in time.", answers Twilight.
"Are we going to wait here until 2 p.m.?", asks Fluttershy.
"You're right! That's way too much time to just wait here!", says Pinkie Pie, not wanting to get bored.
"I've got an idea. Why don't we just go to Applejack's place, to try to help her finish her work early?", suggests Rainbow Dash.
"I guess we could do that.", says Twilight. "Let's move then."
"Sorry, girls, but this right here is my business, and none other's.", says Applejack, knowing about Twilight's "helping" skills.
"Can't we do anything to help you?", asks Rarity. "Aren't there any clean places to work on?"
"Sorry, Rarity, there's no way you gals could help me.", says Applejack. "Why don't you go do something else? Good ol' Bigmac's helpin' me out, so I'll be ready in a jiffy."
"Eeyup.", says Big Macintosh.
"Well then, I guess we could just wait for you outside.", says Twilight.
"Yeah, you could do that. I'll be there in five minutes.", says Applejack.
"Everything's going better than expected.", comments Twilight.
"Done everything! Let's go.", says Applejack.
"Ooh, I can't wait to play with you girls! This is going to be so much fun!", says Pinkie Pie, bouncing all over the place.
"It sure will.", agrees Twilight, excited as well (nearly as much as Pinkie).
Arriving at the school, Fluttershy keeps looking everywhere, to see the pretty decorations that filled the entire building. "It's so wonderful...", she says.
"Wait a minute. Did we bring any instruments?", asks Rainbow Dash.
"They have everything here.", explains Rarity. "Just get in this room and pick the instruments you want."
"How much is all this?", asks Twilight.
"Don't worry, it's not much. I'll pay for it, anyway."
"Where are the drum parts?", asks Rainbow.
"The drumset is already there, Rainbow Dash."
"Okay then."
"Pretty big place for a studio, isn't it?", comments Fluttershy, with admiration in her voice.
"Quite.", says Rarity.
"So, what're we waitin' for? Let's rock this place!", says Applejack.
"Yay! I love rocking places!", says Pinkie Pie, jumping up and down.
"Yay!", says Fluttershy, with really quiet excitement.
"Shouldn't you tune your instruments first?", asks Twilight.
"Can't you just use your magic to tune everything immediately?", asks Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash, not every problem can be solved with just a magic spell."
"How do you even tune these things?", asks Pinkie Pie.
"Am I the only one who knows how to do it?", asks Fluttershy, slightly frustrated.
"Pretty much.", all five say in chorus.
"*sigh* Fine..."
After over ten minutes of tuning ("Does this sound good?" -"Kick it up a notch.", -"That doesn't mean anything.")...
"Whew! Finally done!", says Fluttershy, relieved. "I hope you girls had learned from this."
"Hehe, sorry, Fluttershy...", apologizes Applejack. "Don't worry, we got everything."
"So, can we finally play some music?", asks an anxious Rainbow Dash.
"I think so.", says Fluttershy, happy to see her friends happy.
"Let's do this!", all five say in chorus.
For the rest of the day, the Mane 6 (now the official name for the band) played all the music they could get out of their brains. Rainbow Dash, as promised, played the heck out of the drums, but with a slight distraction from Fluttershy's guitar-playing, which was just amazing, as well as her backing vocals for Twilight's graceful voice. Applejack was playing good as well, along with Rarity's keyboard riffs. Pinkie Pie's bass wasn't that great, but hey, as long as she's happy. In the middle of the jam session, however, a respected talent-seeker called Lincoln Rhettfield passed by, and was surprised by Fluttershy's beautiful singing (and everyone else as well, but especially Fluttershy). He then listened to all of the rest, getting even more impressed with each song they played. At 7 p.m., when every single one in the town is already living through the music, the Mane 6 comes out of the studio.
"BRAVO! BRAVO! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL! JUST BEAUTIFUL!", screams Lincoln, with happy tears rolling down his eyes.
"You girls rock!", says Lyra.
"Yeah! You girls rock!", says Bon-Bon.
"Twilight, was that you singing?", says Spike, squeezing through the others.
"Yes, Spike. That was me.", answers Twilight.
"All those ear-torture sessions finally came to use!"
"Ha ha. Very funny, Spike.", says Twilight, with a sarcastic smile.
"Twilight! They love us!", says Rainbow Dash.
"Heh. Yes they do!"
"I don't think I can handle this...", says Fluttershy. "... this is just TOO AWESOME!" She has never been so happy.
"Isn't it, dear?", agrees Rarity, happy to see her best friend happy.
"Pinkie Pie, what's our music called ag'in?", asks Applejack.
"I dunno... let's call it pony rock!", says Pinkie Pie.
"Sounds good to me.", says Applejack.
"Would you like to sign in my talent show?", asks Lincoln to the band.
"Talent show?!", asks Fluttershy, for an already-known reason.
"Relax, Fluttie. You're ready for it now!", says Rainbow Dash, trying to comfort her friend.
"We'd love to! When is it?", says Twilight.
"Tomorrow, at 8 p.m.", answers Lincoln. "You pretty much HAVE to be there, okay?"
"Geez, okay then...", says Twilight, rather surprised.
"I'm just kiddin' ya! You don't HAVE to be there, but I would love it if you were there. Will you be there?"
"You bet your hooves on it!", says Rainbow Dash, finding this situation to be extremely kick-butt.
"... I'll see about that.", says Fluttershy, still a bit nervous from the last talent show she participated in. It was just awful.
"Oh, no. You, the yellow-coated one, absolutely MUST come tomorrow. Please!"
"I don't know if I'm that good."
"How can you not know?!", asks Rainbow Dash. "Fluttershy, I've never seen anyone as talented as you!"
"Oh, thank you, Rainbow Dash. But aren't you just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I'm not. Your voice is absolutely incredible, and you can play guitar just fine! You are the best musician I have ever talked to! I love you, Fluttershy!"
"You love what... ?"
"I... said I love... your music."
"Why, thank you, Rainbow Dash. That really cheered me up.", says Fluttershy, with extreme happiness in her eyes.
"So, are you coming?", asks Lincoln, not at all frustrated by Rainbow Dash's interruption. He was just too busy crying from happiness.
"Yes, Mister... ...", says Fluttershy, hinting Lincoln to say his name.
"Oh, sorry. Forgot to introduce myself. I'm Lincoln Rhettfield, a talent seeker. Pleased to meet all of you."
"You mean, the Lincoln Rhettfield?!", asks Rarity. "The world-famous talent seeker who's organized the best talent shows in Equestria?!"
"Yes, young lady. That Lincoln Rhettfield. You seem to know me pretty well. Wait a minute... are you Rarity?"
"Yes, I proudly am."
"So you're the one who made those wonderful costumes for my last talent show?!"
"Yes, sir."
"I'm starting to love you guys. Oh! I better get going. See you all tomorrow!"
"Bye, Linkret! Pleased to meet ya!", says Pinkie Pie.
"That's Lincoln to you, Pinkie.", says Rarity, with a disapproving face.
"That's alright, Rarity. I've heard of you, Pinkie Pie. Your cupcakes taste like rainbows!"
"Teehee! They sure do!", agrees Pinkie Pie.
"Oh, I almost forgot! What's the name of your band?"
"We are the Mane 6!", all six say in chorus.
They Call Me the Talent Seeker
It's Saturday night, 7:30 p.m., and all members of the Mane 6 have arrived in the talent show, except for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Lincoln is organizing all the act schedules: other than the Mane 6, we have Snips & Snails' try at stand-up comedy. the Great and Powerful Trixie's magic act, and the Derpy Hooves Show (featuring "Spike the Smarty Pants"), and other rather irrelevant acts. Twilight goes to his room, to see if she can help with anything while Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy aren't here.
"Um... Lincoln? Do you need help back there?", asks Twilight.
"There you are, Twilight. Good to see you! I knew you would be here! I just knew!", says Lincoln, still amazed by yesterday's jam session.
"We'll do our best, Lincoln. But anyway, can I help you with anything?"
"No need to worry, Twilight. I'm almost done here, and the show is almost starting. Is everyone here as well?"
"We're still waiting for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. What time is it?"
"It's 7:55. Don't worry, you are the second act, so there's still time."
"Well, I guess I better go then."
"Good luck! Do your best!"
"I will."
Back in the audience, Fluttershy had arrived, with an extremely nervous look, with Rainbow Dash forcing her in.
"Rainbow Dash, you don't understand! What if I end up being worse than in the Cloudsdale episode?", protests Fluttershy, showing a really bad case of stage fright.
"Come on, Fluttershy, that was, like, ten years ago. Your voice has changed a lot since then.", answers Rainbow Dash.
"What if I get so nervous that my voice will come back to its child state?", fears Fluttershy, sweating from all the folks that are watching her, with trust in their eyes. They know the Mane 6 are going to rock this town inside-out.
"Just look at those people, Fluttershy. Do you see how much they love you just by looking at their faces? They trust you. The entire city trusts you. The Mane 6 trusts you. I trust you. Just believe in yourself and rock the freaking Casbah!"
"Rock the what... ?"
"Nevermind. Just blow their minds up."
"Blow their minds up?! I thought we were going to play music!"
"This is the Fluttershy I know and love... what I meant by that is, give them what they want. Give them the greatest music in Equestria. You got that?"
"... thanks, Rainbow Dash. You really know how to cheer me up!", says Fluttershy, happy to count on her friends again.
"Seriously, you two are a really cute couple.", jokes Pinkie Pie again, but with a more serious tone.
"I'm starting to agree with you, Pinkie.", says Rarity, with Applejack nodding.
"Oh, stop it, you...", says Fluttershy, slightly red in the face.
"Attention, everyone!", says Lincoln Rhettfield. "The show is starting now!"
Everyone cheered and applauded.
"For our first act, we have... Snips and Snails, stand-up comedians!"
"Hey, everyone.", says Snips, with a worried look. "I don't know how to say this, but Snails hasn't arrived yet. So, I think I better start the show my myself. So, how's everyone doing? Good, I suppose. Is anyone not feeling good here?"
"Haha! He's so funny!", laughs Pinkie Pie.
"How 'bout you? Yeah, you, the rainbow-haired one. Why the blue face?"
"It's naturally blue.", says Rainbow Dash, a bit nervous for being the first butt-for-a-joke in the crowd.
"Gee, no need to be so dark. This is a comedy show after all!" Everyone laughs. Snips is quite the joker. "You should learn with your yellow-coated friend at your side."
Rainbow Dash turns to Fluttershy. She looks really happy, and mouths out a thank-you for the blue pegasus.
"Hey, Snips! Sorry I was late again!", yells out Snails, rushing through the door.
"Hey, Snails! Where have you been?"
"I was running away from some kidnappers."
"Kidnappers?!"
"Yeah! They're trying to make all kids nap, by singing lullabies!"
"That sounds even creepier than an actual kidnapper."
"It is! Lucky they lost their sight of me."
"Wait a second... you didn't see any kidnappers, didn't you?'
"... okay, I'll admit. I saw a spider in my house, and was too afraid to get it out." Everyone laughs. "But you got to admit, spiders are pretty creepy little things."
Everyone agrees.
"I mean, just look at them. They've got eight eyes! Eight freakin' eyes! Why do they need so many?"
The award for Best Stand-Up Comedy Act was already guaranteed. I'd like to point out that Fluttershy was agreeing with every single word coming out of Snails' mouth since now.
"Like, eight legs is not that excessive, but eight eyes? Not to mention, some of them have hair! Why the heck would a spider need hair? Don't even get me started on how they kill those poor insects. Trapping them in silk is already scary enough, but then they melt their internal organs with their poisoned juice. Talk about fly hell."
Those were the two funniest jokes they have made, and if I pointed out every single one, this would be one darn long story. Some parts of the crowd laughed throughout the entire show. Those two had their destiny decided.
"Haha... well, ladies and gentleman... there you have it. Pfft... Snips & Snails, stand-up comedians.", says Lincoln, unable to hold his laughter.
"Take care, y'all!", yells out Snips.
"Don't do anything I would do!", yells out Snails. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were roffling on the floor.
"Hehe... anyway, now to our second act: the ones you were all waiting for... the Mane 6!"
Well, how do I describe this again? They pretty much played all they could. The song itself was an original by Fluttershy, and it was 10 minutes long. It was worth all the time spent learning it. It was basically a mixture of progressive, punk and Steely Dan-jazz. Kind of what you would see in a Frank Zappa concert. Pinkie's bass was a little better, and it doesn't help that she was even happier than yesterday. Rainbow Dash tried to not look too much at Fluttershy... to no avail. That didn't slow her drumming, though. Eventually, even ol' Fluttie was going wild, having lost her stage fright.
At the end of the talent show, the prizes were given. Snips & Snails won the Best Stand-Up Comedy Act award. Derpy and Spike won the Best Comedy Act award. The Mane 6 won the Best Musical Act award. There were other awards as well, but only these ones matter now.
"You see, Fluttershy? They love you!", says Rainbow Dash.
"I think they love us equally.", answers Fluttershy.
"Can I get your autograph?", asks Lincoln to Fluttershy.
"Um... sure. Got any pens?"
"I got one right here."
"... there you go."
"Thank you! I'd like you to know that I am your greatest fan right now!"
"Aside from me, of course.", says Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash, you don't have to be that supportive...", says Fluttershy. "I'm feeling just fine."
"I know, but you can always use some extra support, right?"
"... I guess I could."
"Who's the leader of your band?", asks Lincoln.
"Pinkie had the idea.", answers Rainbow Dash.
"Where is she? I must talk to her about something really important."
"I'm right here, Linkret!", says Pinkie Pie, suddenly coming out of nowhere.
"Could I sign you and your band in a record deal?"
"... that would be great!... what is a record deal?"
"What I'm saying is, can I hire you a manager?"
"A manager?"
"Pinkie, I thought you said we were a local band.", says Fluttershy, with Twilight nodding nervously.
"Linkret, I really appreciate your request, but I don't think my bandmates would appreciate it, to have their normal lives being held down.", says Pinkie Pie, trying to sound as much professional as she could.
"What?! You mean you don't want to be famous?", asks Lincoln.
"I didn't say that. What I said is, me and my bandmates would rather be living our normal lives together. We can still play at parties though, so you can book us anytime you want!"
"... I understand you, Pinkie. I'm happy you've made this decision.", says Lincoln, never seeing such a successful band refuse fame and fortune.
"You're lucky that Rarity is outside with Applejack, Pinkie.", says Twilight. "She would have a heart attack from knowing you just refused an opprtunity to become rich and famous for our whole lives. I'm proud of you, though."
"It's not like you wanted to be rich and famous, did you, Twilight?", asks Pinkie Pie. Twilight didn't know Pinkie Pie had that much wisdom.
"Yeah, I'm not ready for that. I could sure use some money though.", Twilight giggled.
"Hey, Pinkie. What did Lincoln say to you?", asks Rarity, coming inside with Applejack.
"Um... nothing that important. Just some compliments and gonna-get-far's. Y'know, that kinda stuff.", answers Pinkie Pie.
"Shouldn't we go home then?", asks Applejack. "It's gettin' kinda late outside. Mah family must be worried sick about me."
"Yeah, it's getting kind of late.", agrees Twilight. "Oh, hey there, Spike."
"Hey, Twilight!", says Spike. "You guys did great!"
"You were awesome too, Spike. I knew you would win the comedy award. Where's your assistant Derpy?"
"Oh, she went home. A bit tired for compliments, and so am I. I think we should go home."
"I was just about to say that. Come on, girls, let's get out of here!"
And so, the six ponies went home. Rainbow Dash escorted Fluttershy home, since it was getting really dark outside. Fluttershy herself was too excited to see anything anyway.
"Did you see that? My first autograph! I have never signed an autograph before, and it feels so good!", says an excited Fluttershy.
"I'm happy to hear that.", agrees Rainbow Dash. She has listened to worse hyper attacks.
I See a Darkness
Throughout the next few weeks, the Mane 6 have been rocking parties all over the city of Ponyville, with the musical power of six Jack Blacks. However, they did notice that Fluttershy was the one getting all the fans' attention. They didn't really care so much about it, except for Rarity. She was the one who should be adored by everypony. She didn't want to become jealous of Fluttershy again, but it was inevitable. Besides, everyone wants a bit of recognition. Maybe the fans wouldn't care if the whole show was just Fluttershy and her acoustic strings.
Then, Rarity decides to talk to Applejack, since she was her most caring friend at the time.
"Applejack?", calls Rarity. Applejack was doing her daily applebucking at her house.
"Just a sec, Rarity.", says Applejack.
"I need to talk to you about something that has been bothering me for some time."
"... are you in love?"
"No... I mean... yes, but that's not what I want to talk about."
"Who's the lucky bastard?"
"Applejack, please. Listen to me at least once. You don't know him, anyway."
"Sorry. Then, what's bothering you, sugarcube?"
"It's about... Fluttershy."
"You're in love with Fluttershy?", asks Pinkie Pie, overhearing their conversation. "Tell me this isn't another shipping story."
"Pinkie, for Celestia's sake, stay away from the fourth wall!", says Rarity. "And no, I'm not interested in any of you."
"Sorry, Rarity. What's bothering you then?"
"You know, recently, Fluttershy has been getting a lot of attention from our fans."
"Shouldn't ya be happy for 'er?", asks Applejack.
"I am. But the problem is, she's the only one who's getting fan attention. Maybe the fans wouldn't care if the whole show was just Fluttershy and her guitar."
"Rarity, are you jealous of Fluttershy again?", asks Pinkie Pie. "Remember what I said about jealousy?"
"I know that, but--"
"FOREVER!"
"*sigh* Do you know where Rainbow Dash is? Maybe she knows what to do."
"Last time I saw her, she was going to the Donut Shop. Maybe I should go there as well. Hungrity dumpity!"
At the Donut Shop, Rarity sees Rainbow Dash arguing with Derpy Hooves, the balconist.
"You got any glazed donuts?", says Rainbow.
"No, we're outta glazed donuts.", says Derpy.
"You got any... jelly donuts?"
"No, we're outta jelly donuts!"
"You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
"No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts!"
"You got any cinnamon rolls?"
"No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!"
"You got any apple fritters?
"NO, WE'RE OUTTA APPLE FRITTERS!
"YOU GOT ANY BEAR CLAWS???"
"... wait a minute. I'll go check."
"Um... hey, Rainbow Dash.", says Rarity. "Do you know about Fluttershy?"
"What? That everyone's all over her, and she doesn't even have time for post-gig talking?" Rainbow Dash seems frustrated.
"... exactly. I can't believe this is happening. Why does Fluttershy always get the attention about everything?"
"You gotta admit, she's a cute little bugger."
"Rainbow, you've been showing a lot of appreciation for Fluttershy recently. Why's that?"
"... you promise you won't tell anyone?"
"I promise."
"Well... I've got a crush on Fluttershy."
"... Rainbow, everypony knows you've got a crush on--"
"FOREVER!", Pinkie Pie appears out of nowhere.
"Okay, Rainbow, I promise I won't tell anyone."
"What are you girls talking about?", asks Pinkie Pie.
"Fluttershy seems to be the only one in our band, according to the fans.", answers Rainbow Dash.
"Well, there's no reason you girls should be frustrated about it."
"Hey, girls.", says Twilight, with Spike on her back. "What's all the arguing about?"
"It's about Fluttershy.", says Rarity. "She's getting all famous again, while we are just being ignored."
"Why are you always picking on Fluttershy?", says Spike. "Of course you girls are famous as well."
"Hey, Spike! How's it going?", greets Derpy.
"Oh, hey, Derpy. Got any glazed donuts?"
"Sure! You're my #1 assistant, after all!"
"Spike, I thought you were my #1 assistant.", says Twilight.
"I'm still your #1 assistant."
"See how it feels like, Twilight?", Rainbow Dash, frustrated about what just happened.
"Well, I'm sure Fluttershy isn't liking all this as well."
"No, I'm not.", says Fluttershy. "I'm LOVING it!"
"What?!", says Rarity.
"I'm finally being recognized by what I actually do best! I never thought this day would come!"
"Would you, please, stop throwing this on our faces?", says Rainbow Dash. "We know about that, no need to know about it again."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"You don't even have time to talk to us after our party gigs. You just keep signing autographs.", says Rarity.
"Well, why should you be so angry about it?"
"See what I mean? You're turning into such a snob!"
"I... I don't get it. What's going on here?"
"Stop playing innocent for once!", says Rainbow Dash.
"Dashy, I thought you loved her...", says Pinkie Pie, not finding any reasons to smile now.
"Why are you all attacking me like that? What did I do?", asks Fluttershy, jerking out a tear or two.
"If only you weren't so talented.", says Rarity.
"Oh, so THAT'S what all the fuss is about, isn't it?", says an angry Fluttershy. "I can't believe that you, my best friends, are treating me like this!"
"I don't have anything to do with this.", says Twilight.
"What did I ever do to you? Is it MY fault that everyone likes me?!"
"Fluttie's right!", says Pinkie. "I don't get why you all keep bashing on her like that!"
"Shut up, Pinkie.", says Rainbow Dash. "You're already talkative enough."
"Oh, so I'M the one who needs to shut up?"
"I never thought this would happen...", says Twilight to herself.
"SHUT UP, EVERYONE!", shouts Derpy. Everyone calms down. "I can't believe this. Just look at you! What have you become into?"
Spike just listens to everything, without saying a word.
"Weeks ago, you were the best friends I have ever seen in my life. And now, look at what fame has turned you into. A bunch of snobby, self-centered jerks!"
"Who you calling a jerk, jerk?", protests Rainbow Dash.
"All of you! You're all jerks! Can't you do anything besides complain about Fluttershy's talent? Why don't you guys try to get yourselves noticed as well, instead of bashing on the lucky one? Can't you see what you're turning into? I never thought this friendship could end so easily. YOU'RE the ones who beat Nightmare Moon. YOU'RE the ones who stopped Discord. Yet, he still managed to find his way into your minds again!"
When Derpy finished her monologue, all four ponies were crying their eyes out, and hugging each other.
"... I love you, Fluttershy.", says Rainbow Dash.
"I love you too.", answers Fluttershy.
"Really?"
"Yes. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't love my best ones?"
"Oh.", says Rainbow Dash, slightly frustrated.
"Every time I'm signing autographs for all my fans, I keep wishing you girls would be there with me. It's no fun being famous if you're alone."
"Spike...", says Twilight.
"Just wrote it.", answers Spike, sending the friendship report to Princess Celestia.
"Hey, sugarcubes. Is everything alright?", says Applejack. "I was worried sick about you."
"It's never been better.", answers Pinkie Pie.
"I hope you girls don't mind if I bring my guitar along.", says Fluttershy, taking the instrument from her saddlebag. "Is anyone up for some nice music?"
And then, the Mane 6 had a small jam session, while remembering all the amazing moments they spent together.
The end.
The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 1 of 3
This is not a real chapter, although it is part of the story. The next three chapters describe the Derpy Hooves Show (a sketch-based comedy), which, in my opinion, was the best talent act in the event.
"And now for our final act: the Derpy Hooves Show, starring Derpy Hooves and Spike!", says Lincoln.
The scene takes place in what seems to be some kind of library.
"Hey, Spike! You've gotta help me! I can't find the answer to this question!", says Derpy.
"And what question is it, may I ask?", says Spike, reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of tea (actually water).
"Where do babies come from?"
"Um... that's... that's an interesting... question..."
"I know you can answer it. Aren't you Smarty-Pants Spike after all?"
"Well, you know, Derpy? This question is really complicated to explain. Why don't you go play outside?"
"Sigh! Fine then!"
Derpy goes off to the corner of the stage and starts digging on the floor.
"I'm Derpy Hooves and I'm digging a hole... diggy diggy hole... digging a hole... diggy diggy hole."
"Derpy, have you finished your homework?"
"Oh right. I'll get to it."
Derpy goes to the desk next to her. On top of it is a huge pile of books.
"Geez, I'll never be able to do all this homework."
"Can I help you with anything?", asks Spike.
"Yes. I can't find the answer to this question."
"What is it?"
"Where do babies come from?"
The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 2 of 3
This is a shameless pony version of a Spongebob episode. I didn't have the episode idea, but I had the idea of turning it into an MLP sketch.
The next scenario is just a mailbox in the middle of the stage. Derpy's standing next to it, looking really excited.
"I'm waiting! I'm waiting!", sings Derpy.
"We're waiting! We're waiting!", Lyra joins in.
"We're waiting! We're waiting!"
"We're-- um... Derpy, what are we waiting for?"
"We're waiting for the mailpony! I just sent a whole bunch of cereal box tops, and now I'll get a free toy!"
"I love toys! Can I wait for your toy with you?"
"Sure!"
"We're waiting! We're waiting!", both continue singing.
"There's the mailpony!", says Lyra.
"Are you Derpy Hooves?", says Big Macintosh, as the mailpony.
"Yes!", says Derpy, excitement flowing through her veins.
"You got mail." Derpy gets a bunch of envelopes, none of them are worth noting.
"Isn't there anything else?"
"Nope.", says ol' Bigmac, and then he goes behind the curtains.
"Derpy, I'm hungry.", says Lyra.
"Me too.", says Derpy.
"Let's go grab some donuts."
"Yes, let's go-- wait a minute! What if the mailpony comes and I miss him?" Derpy clings to the mailbox.
"Well, I don't think I can stand this. I'll see if I can get anything for you." Lyra goes away.
"Hey, Derpy, what's up?", Bon-Bon comes in.
"No time for talking. I'm waiting for the mailpony.". says Derpy.
"But I was hoping if you could--"
"No."
"But maybe--"
"No."
"How 'bout--"
"NO! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY HERE?"
"Fine then. Geez.", Bon-Bon goes away.
"Hey, Derpy!", Sweetie Belle comes in. "Could you help me with--"
"NO! I CAN'T! I'M BUSY BACK HERE!"
Sweetie Belle squeals and runs off, scared.
Lyra comes back. "Hey, Derpy."
"... this better be good."
"Um... you missed your surprise birthday party, so I brought you some cake and a present."
"... I missed my birthday party?"
"Yeah, see? Here's the cake and the present."
"My birthday cake..."
"Let me get you a fork so you can eat it." Lyra puts the cake between her teeth, and accidentally eats it. "Now, where did I put that fork-- oh."
"That was my cake... what's the present?"
"Oh yeah!", Lyra opens the present. "It's the fork."
Derpy starts crying, and it actually looks real for a comedy act.
"THAT STUPID TOY! I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE WAITING FOR IT!"
"Actually, you've only been here for twenty minutes."
"Don't you understand? I was mean to Bon-Bon, I scared off Sweetie Belle, and now you hate me because I'm a big jerk!"
"No, I don't."
"YES YOU DO!"
Big Macintosh comes in again.
"Derpy Hooves?"
Derpy keeps crying and sobbing.
"Could you come back later? She's having a moment.", says Lyra.
"Well, I just need a signature for--"
"I said she's having a moment! Just leave her alone!"
"No, Lyra.", says Derpy. "Pegasii like me don't deserve moments. I'll just sign here, right?" Derpy signs for the package. "I get so caught up in--"
"Here ya go." Bigmac gives out a package.
"-- in waiting for my TOY!"
Derpy tears up the package, to reveal a green-headed, purple-colored pony doll.
"Lyra... are you thinking... what I'm thinking?"
"Yes..."
"It's... BEAUTIFUL!"
Lyra touches it, and the doll breaks down.
"... I waited so long...", says Derpy, starting to go out of her mind again.
"Um... sorry?"
"... and you broke it..."
"You okay?"
"NO, I'M NOT OKAY! YOU RUINED MY FREE TOY!"
"I'm sorry, I just..."
"WHY? WHY?"
Derpy and Lyra start crying madly, while Spike walks by.
"*sigh* What is it now, Derpy?", says Spike.
"*sob* I ate *sob* box tops and *sob* and then *sob* I'm waiting I'm waiting *sob* and then Lyra *sob* we're waiting *sob* and then the toy *sob* and then you *sob* and then THIS!" Derpy shows the toy, and continues rolling on the floor. Spike takes the toy and presses its head down, returning it to normal.
"You... you fixed it!", says Lyra, surprised!
"Well, yeah. That's how the toy works. You mess with it, and it breaks down, then you press its head down again, and it's brand new."
"Gee, Spike! How can we ever thank you?", asks Derpy.
"Move to another neighborhood."
The Derpy Hooves Show: Sketch 3 of 3
The last scenario is just a plain stage, with nothing on it. Derpy Hooves comes in, looking frustrated.
"Um... I'm sorry... you guys. I seem to have lost the script again.", says Derpy.
"What's wrong, Derpy?", asks Spike.
"I lost the script to the last sketch."
"*sigh* Again? Are you sure you're not standing on it?"
"No, I'm not."
"You're not sure, or you're not standing on it?"
"Why would I fall for that again? Of course I'm not standing on it. See?" Derpy moves out of her current location.
"Well, where could it be then?"
"Maybe someone took it."
"Who could it be?"
"I don't know. Let me ask the audience." Derpy turns to the audience. "Has anyone seen the script?"
Everyone shrugs.
"Maybe the crew took it.", says Spike.
"HEY!", yells Derpy to the crew behind the curtains. "EVERYPONY, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"
Bigmac, Lyra, Bon-Bon and Sweetie Belle come to the stage.
"Did one of you take the script?"
"Nope.", says Bigmac.
"Why would I?", says Lyra.
Bon-Bon makes a "no" with her head.
"Derpy, you're holding it in your hoof right now.", says Sweetie Belle.
"I am?", says Derpy. "Holy guacamole! The script is here!"
Everyone does a facehoof.
"Okay, let's get this started then! You guys can go back to the curtains."
The scene starts over.
Derpy Hooves comes in, looking frustrated.
"Um... I'm sorry... you guys. I seem to have lost the script again.", says Derpy.
"What's wrong, Derpy?", asks Spike.
"I lost the script to the last sketch."
"*sigh* Again? Are you sure you're not standing on it?"
"No, I'm not."
"You're not sure, or you're not standing on it--"
"Alright, alright, enough.", interrupts Lincoln. "Great job, you guys."