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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 93: 90: Touring Ederption

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The snow from the previous week was still on the ground, and the air was still cold, but there were no adverse weather conditions. So it surprised Karyn when Derpy rapped on her window with the same fervor as she had the previous week. Once inside, she made only a cursory inspection of the apartment before coming down to business.

“When I was getting ready to go this morning, I heard a scraping sound by my door, and I saw that somepony had slipped in a note. But it wasn’t any note, it was a note written on really fancy paper.”

“And what did it say?”

Derpy dug through her bag. “I brought it with me so you can read it for yourself.”

Karyn took the note and looked it over. As Derpy had said, the paper was thick and expensive-looking, and was inlayed with gold. The writing, in impressive calligraphy, was attractive as well, and a little difficult to read for being spindly and sparkly. But there wasn’t much of it. All it said was:

“Derpy, please bring Karyn with you back to Equestria today.”

She flipped it around to see if there was any more written on the back, but all she saw was the quality of the paper once more.

“I don’t get it. That’s it? Are you sure it’s not a prank?”

“If it is, somepony went to an awful lot of expense to prank us. And also, if that’s the case, I don’t think that we should deny the prank-puller a fair chance to put one over on us.”

Karyn pursed her lips. “Well, I’m not sure I agree with that, but curiosity will get the better of me if we don’t go, so let’s go.”

She got on Derpy’s back and held on for the trip between dimensions.

When they arrived, Derpy swooped down, then said, “Where are we going now? The note only said to bring you to Equestria, and Equestria is a very big place.”

“Actually, that’s confusing sometimes. Does the word Equestria refer to just the part that Celestia and Luna rule, or is it the whole universe? The first one would make sense if they have to meet with diplomats from places like Saddle Arabia, but then are they raising the sun and moon for everypony everywhere? And if so, how can anyone stay independent of that?”

“Oh! I know!”

“You do?”

Derpy now dove with a purpose instead of just holding in the air. “Since we found the note at my house, we’ll go back there. Maybe whoever wrote the note will meet us.”

Karyn didn’t know if Derpy had heard her but was just pondering the question of what to do, or if she was so deep in thought that she didn’t even listen. In either case, Karyn didn’t feel like repeating it, so she just hung on as Derpy took the familiar route back to her home.

When they opened the door, they did not see any indication of anypony around, nor did they find another note, at least not until they heard the sound of activity and came upon Muffinhead, Derpy’s cat, playing with an envelope and gnawing on a corner of it. It took some work for Derpy to pry it away from him, but it hadn’t been damaged to illegibility.

“Derpy,” she read, “if you have Karyn with you, then I thank you for acceding to my request. Please come to the library forthwith, as I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you.”

“It has to be from Twilight.”

“Or Spike.”

Karyn took another look. “I don’t think Spike can afford this kind of paper. But only one thing for it. Let’s head down and see what’s going on.”

Derpy agreed, and they were off at a slower pace. The library was a fair distance, but the notes didn’t indicate any urgency, so they saw no reason to tire themselves out. Karyn still suspected a prank, and was keeping her eyes out for anything unusual.

Something unusual came in the form of Rainbow Dash. Seeing her in the sky would not in itself be remarkable, since as a speedy pegasus she was wont to be on the move. But she came down and greeted them warmly. “Karyn! I heard the good news. Congratulations!”

“What good news?”

“You don’t know yet? Then I won’t spoil Twilight’s surprise. But come and see me after, ‘cause I want in!”

Before they could question her further, she soared off. “What did she mean?” asked Derpy.

“I don’t know. If it is a prank, Rainbow would definitely be the type of pony who would want to be in on it, but she wouldn’t be likely to tell us. Let’s just get down there and find out what it is. If they’re pranking us, we’ll just have to deal with it.”

“I don’t think they are. Twilight’s not the type.”

Karyn was left to ponder that as, coming around a curve, it was Rarity they ran into.

“Why, hello, Derpy! And Karyn as well. It’s wonderful to see you both on such an auspicious day.”

“More of a suspicious day,” said Derpy. “I think everypony knows what’s going on except us.”

“You don’t know yet? I suppose not, even I was told in the strictest confidence. Well, come, let’s go straight to Twilight’s so she can tell all.”

Rarity led them through Ponyville toward the library. She had the smug air of one who knows a secret and refuses to tell, but to their credit neither Karyn nor Derpy were angered by it. Somehow having an escort made the walk go quicker, even though they didn’t really speak on the way.

Then at last the treehouse appeared on the horizon, and their pace quickened. Approaching the door, Derpy went to knock, but Rarity cut her off.

“I hear voices inside, and it’s not Twilight or Spike. Let me poke my head in and see if they’re ready for you.”

“I can do that,” said Derpy.

“I’m sure you can, but I think I could be more…unobtrusive if indeed Twilight is busy.”

She opened the door with no more sound than the rhythm of her magic, and inched her head into the room. Then, apparently receiving a nod to enter, walked all the way in and shut the door behind her.

Karyn huffed. “Well. She’s being nice to Twilight, but a little rude to us.”

“Maybe, but if this is as momentous as they’re making it out to be, it’s worth getting it right.”

“We’ll see.”

Rarity emerged then, and said, “I hate to say this, but Twilight has some highball benefactors of the library who insisted on meeting with her right now. She says that she’ll shoo them away as quickly as possible, but could you wait just a bit longer?”

“Well, all right,” said Karyn. “But what are we supposed to do while we’re waiting? Just sit in the shade of the tree until they come out?”

“Would that be so bad?” asked Derpy.

Rarity put a hoof to her forehead. “I should say it would! Getting grass stains on your flanks. And Karyn, you dressed as you are. No, come. I will treat you to tea in a little shop a few blocks away.”

“But then how will we know when Twilight is ready for us?”

“I believe that I can use an inter-horn communication spell to give her a magical poke now and then.”

Karyn stopped walking. “I’ve never heard of that magic. Did Twilight invent it?”

“Perhaps. Somepony told it to me, I don’t remember who.”

“Sounds like the kind of spell I would come up with if I were magical. It’s like a ping in networking.”

She caught up, and Derpy said, “But you are magical.”

“Right, I always forget. But not actively like Rarity and Twilight.”

They reached the tearoom, and Rarity bought them all their drinks. They sat, sipped, and waited.

“So, Rarity,” Karyn said, “since you know what it’s all about, can you give us any clue?”

“I really shouldn’t…but do you remember that Twilight claimed she owed you some sort of favor?”

“Yes. From the Grand Galloping Gala. We thought she made it up to us, but she didn’t.”

“Well, this may well settle all debts between you and her.”

With that tidbit to chew on, Karyn and Derpy exchanged a look of anticipation.

“Ah!” Rarity continued, “and there’s the signal back from her that she’s ready. You’ll excuse me if I don’t join you. I have another engagement to attend to, and it’s a private occasion anyway.”

They said goodbye, and Karyn and Derpy, a spring in their steps, walked back the way they came.

“What could it be?” said Derpy. “She could give us just about anything. But I don’t know what it is that we need.”

“Right. Maybe it’s an inter-universe version of the spell we just heard about, so I could talk to you when you’re not actually here.”

“Could be anything. Let’s run and find out!”

They sped back to the library, but didn’t really save any time, since they had to wait outside to catch their breath before they knocked on the door.

“Enter.”

It was Twilight’s voice, but to Karyn it seemed more like she was trying to affect Rarity’s upper-class tone. When they opened the door, she saw why.

Twilight had dressed in her full princess outfit, including the yellow and purple dress, the gold hoof coverings with her cutie mark emblazoned on them, her wings spread wide behind her, and the crown with the six-pointed star on.

What amazed Karyn in particular was how regal she looked. Back when it was only a cartoon show to her, Karyn saw Twilight’s ascension to princess as undeserved, but seeing how she had grown into it, she had no more quarrel.

For Derpy, there was less awe and more reverence. She was used to princesses, even if she didn’t see them dressed up every day, and her response was more like a human standing at attention for a national anthem. She idly scratched an itch on her flank while still paying attention.

“Karyn Hubert, Derpy Hooves, welcome. Friends across worlds, I thank you for answering my summons. I appear before you today in the capacity of a Princess of Equestria. Although we meet in my home, this is as official an occasion as any proclamation put forth by Celestia herself.”

Now Derpy began to look nervous. As Princess Twilight went to take another breath, she interrupted. “Please, Twilight. I’m sure it’s important, but can’t we just talk like regular ponies? It’ll be a lot easier for me to understand that way.”

Twilight gave a soft smile. “All right, Derpy. I don’t relish it much either. Just don’t tell anypony else, all right?”

Derpy nodded.

“Now, recently, at the Princess Council—“

“Er, what’s that?

“Rather what it sounds like. Cadance, Celestia, Luna, and I meet from time to time to discuss weighty matters of Equestria, and to make policy affecting everypony.”

Karyn spoke up. “I can see how that would be something useful to have.”

“Indeed, it is particularly helpful to Princess Celestia. It was she who first started it. She had to make all the decisions herself for the better part of a thousand years, and she welcomes the input of three others.”

“But how does it work with four princesses? There’s no way to break a tie vote. Unless Celestia has an extra one, and only the other three of you can overrule her.”

Derpy had not considered that, but it did strike her as a problem, and she nodded her head.

Twilight, though, shook her head. “It’s not like that. There are no votes, per se, but if there were, sometimes even one would overrule the other three.”

“So everything has to be unanimous? There’s a major council of humans who are like that.”

“Not even that. We don’t hold everything to a yay or a neigh.” Twilight smiled to indicate the pun, which only Karyn picked up on. “We discuss things. Usually we come to an agreement. Sometimes we can’t, because Princess Cadance might have concerns specifically for the Crystal Empire as opposed to all of Equestria. We understand that, though, and work with her.

“But if ever one princess were to say, ‘No, not at all, under no circumstances will I support this,’ then the other three would not go ahead with whatever was being discussed. Celestia has had to overrule us like that on occasion. She has seen things over the centuries that give her more perspective.”

“OK, I understand now. That’s not, then, a very human way of doing things. We would always want a safeguard in case the dynamic you’re talking about breaks down.”

Twilight listened, but clearly wanted to get to her point. “As it happens, that situation, of one princess holding back the other three, is what I’m here to talk with you about. How long has it been, Derpy, since you began visiting Earth?”

“Over two years.”

“And in that time no other pony has traveled there, nor has any other human visited Equestria. This was the will of the Princess Council.

“The four of us have ranged from indifferent—Princess Cadance freely admits she doesn’t know enough about humans to have an opinion—to enthusiastic. Princess Celestia has said that she wants a more open-borders policy, which I think is her trying to make up for her initial overreaction to Lyra’s Human. But always one pony held firm that the worlds should be separate.”

“Princess Luna?” said Derpy. “I thought she liked Karyn.”

“She does. It is not Princess Luna. I have held back the council. You may recall my initial anger the first time you brought Karyn back to Equestria without asking permission. That may have colored my view, but more than that I am a pony who believes in study over action.

“Sometimes, though, I need to be reminded that passions run deeper than simple facts, and that the love that two friends share is worth risk. For your assistance in preparations for the Gala and for what you did for me there, but far more for the devotion you two have shown each other over the years, I have altered my position. The Princess Council will no longer oppose expanded traffic between Earth and Equestria.”

Both Karyn and Derpy just sat in silence as the weight of it hit them. For the most part, they never considered themselves as any kind of ambassadors for their world. It was just a fun meeting with a friend.

“Wow,” said Derpy. “Now I guess I know why you were going all that fancy princess talk from before.”

That finally released the tension for Karyn, who had a laugh, and at the same time grasped Derpy’s hoof. “Thank you, Princess Twilight, for showing that level of confidence in us. But now that you say it, I…I don’t know if I want it to happen. I’m feeling what you were, a little. A feeling that the status quo is safer.”

“Do you really mean that you like feeling special because you’re the only human who knows a pony?”

“Geez, Derpy, when you put it that way, it sounds awfully selfish.”

Derpy got up and stretched her wings. It made Karyn realize how long they had been sitting there when she was so eager to get to the library in the first place. “Does it? That’s a shame, because I was thinking that I was special because I was the only pony who goes to Earth.”

Twilight unfolded her wings once more. “This is not going to happen all at once. Indeed, we will put it at your discretion. If you do not want to have more ponies go, we will wait until you are ready. Only you and my closest friends know about this decision, and we need not make it public.”

“Yes, but we’ve still got to make the decision. Your reluctance was keeping that from us. So, Karyn, what do you think?”

Karyn eyed Derpy’s saddlebag. “I don’t know what I think, because I haven’t thought it yet. But a memory is coming back to me. Give me a moment.

The two mares looked at her with curiosity while she put her hands over her ears like she was trying to stop anything from escaping her head. Then she opened her eyes again.

“I think we should do it, but carefully. We don’t want to bring out, say, Princess Celestia and have her give a news conference. ‘Hey, all you humans! Ponies exist! Magic and weather control and all that!’ That would be bad. Certainly not good. What I think we should do instead is bring a few ponies to Earth, first, let them see it the way Derpy has. Let them come to some of our events or do the things that Derpy has enjoyed with me. Then we can start thinking about showing off a few ponies to humans. One at a time.”

“That seems like a good first step,” said Twilight. “Cautious. Something that we can draw our hoof back from if it seems like we’re extending it too far. But can I ask what makes you that cautious?”

“Let’s just say that I may have gotten advice from the Princess Council at some other time.”

Twilight did not press her further, but Derpy looked at her with confusion in her eyes, and Karyn gave a soft smile, to indicate that she would explain later. Seeing the exchange of looks and gestures between them, she was confident again that she had made the right decision.

“So, that leaves us with the question of who should go first?”

Now everyone was silent, and stared at each other, not wanting to commit themselves to anything. Twilight broke the tension by saying, “Well, it’s not a decision that you have to make right now, but think about it. In any case, I’ll want to be on that list myself.”

“Really?” said Derpy. “But you were the one who was unsure of it to begin with!”

“All the more reason I should go, because I’ll be safe. Excuse me, now, please. I have some other business to take care of.”

As soon as they left the library, Twilight put on her princessly demeanor once more, bowing and waving to them as they left.

“What do we do now?” asked Derpy.

“I don’t know. I’m still a little overwhelmed. Why don’t we go back to your place and talk it over.”

They made their way back, this time not encountering anypony who congratulated them. Back at Derpy’s house, they sat down in the kitchen and talked it over.

“All right,” said Karyn. “We need to make a list of ponies who we want to invite to come with us.”

“With us?”

“Yes. Like I said, I want to be with them all the while. You’re far more used to Earth than they are.”

Derpy still couldn’t get used to being the best at anything. “What were you saying before about another member of the Princess Council?”

“Oh, that. A while back I had a dream about you being captured by humans. It was really messed up and scary, and Princess Luna came to me and talked to me about fears and such.”

“You’re lucky! I’ve never met Princess Luna.”

“Yes, you have. We met her together.”

Derpy thought. “Oh, yeah. But never in a dream.”

“Anyway, she said I would have to choose to remember the dream or not. I did, but it’s hard to remember even a dream you remember, you know?”

“Definitely. Like they just slip out of the parts of your mind that control memory.”

“Exactly,” said Karyn. “So I had to think about it. But I’m sure that I want to be cautious in doing so. Now let’s make the list.”

“We can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Derpy stood up. “We don’t have a piece of paper.”

“Derpy, whoever we bring to Earth, they’re not going to be the same as you.”

They got the paper and tossed out names of ponies who they thought would be interested. Naturally, the most well-known ponies’ names came up sooner.

“Scootaloo would definitely want to come,” Derpy was saying. “So many blank flanks, even if they’re covered. Speaking of which, we should invite Rarity.”

“Rarity is good. Fluttershy, I don’t know if she’d want to come. She’s still a little scared of me.”

“We’ll make her see how nice humans can be. Rainbow Dash, too. As a brave pegasus, she’ll want to have been among the first.”

“Hm.”

Derpy finished writing the previous name, then looked up. “What’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking about Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh, yeah! I think she would be totally up for going to Earth.”

“But I don’t know if the Earth is ready for Pinkie Pie.”

Author's Notes:

I can't give you a preview of next week without giving away who the special guest pony is. But it's definitely somepony who's dedicated, honest, and is sure to have a Ball. Heh. Heh.

Next Chapter: 91: Derpy with a Chance of Rain Estimated time remaining: 18 Hours, 56 Minutes
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