One thing that Derpy Hooves particularly liked about her friendship with Karyn was the fact that they had no way to communicate other than face-to-face. While it was convenient to be able to mail her friends in Equestria or Cloudsdale, not being able to know what Karyn was up to lent the relationship an air of spontaneity that kept it fun. So it was that Derpy, hoping her friend would not have made plans of her own, made ready her surprise. She had carefully cleaned and painted, and now was ready to show off. She pulled out her bag of spells and warped to Earth.

“Hey, Karyn! I’ve got something to show you back in—are you all right?”

“Hi, Duh-be,” Karyn said. She was lying on the bed in her pajamas, wheezing and looking flush. “I’m sick. I caught a cold or the flu or something. I wish I could have called you and let you know.” She sneezed.

“A cold? But it’s springtime. And you can’t have flew, because you’re not a pegasus. And because that’s bad grammar.”

“No, no. Cold and flu. They’re diseases. But I’m not surprised you don’t have them in Equestria. Equestria’s perfect.”

“Hey, it’s not perfect. And we have plenty of diseases. Pony pox, cutie pox, plenty of other poxes. But very few upper respiratory infections.”

“Then I wish I were there,” Karyn said, sneezing again. “What was it you wanted to show me?”

“Oh, I had hoped to invite you to my new home. See, way back before I started seeing you, Lyra told me that I would need to have a place for a human to stay if she came to Equestria. So I bought a house in Ponyville, and it’s finally fixed up enough to have people over. I was hoping you’d be my first guest, but you’ve come all over with the ague. Wait, there’s no reason not to do this! You’ll come with me back home, and I’ll take care of you until you get better!”

“Oh, Derpy, I couldn’t make you do that.”

“What are friends for? Besides, there are all sorts of remedies we have in Equestria for diseases. One of them’s got to work. No arguments, now. Just slump over me and you’ll be better in no time.”

Coughing and sputtering, Karyn got on Derpy’s back, feeling the aches in her muscles as she did. She soon found herself being tucked right back into bed. The bed she was in had a wooden headboard and footboard, and outside the window she could see the bright colors of the Equestrian sky.

Something was nagging at the back of Karyn’s mind. “Derpy,” she said. “You shouldn’t have gone and sold your Cloudsdale home just for me. Don’t you think you’ll be a fish out of water if you’re living among mostly Earth ponies?”

“I’m a fish out of water anywhere I live. But in any case, no, I didn’t sell my old place. I’ve still got it, and I’ll show it to you some time. You’ll just have to stay on my back the whole time since it has cloud floors. Probably not something we should do today.”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling up to it. Plus, I don’t want to put a plague on both your houses.”

“OK, you sit tight,” said Derpy. “I’m going to go see if I can’t find some medicine.”

She trotted out of the room. Karyn laid her head back on the pillow and looked around. This was the first time she had been in an Equestrian house that was just a house, and not a library or a boutique. The beams that made up the trusses had been accented by a dark stain, and they stood out against the light wood of the walls. The beams of the roof crossed above her, and with her head swimming, she enjoyed picking out patterns in the knotholes. Above them, the roof itself was a thick mass of straw, that looked like it would provide warmth in the winter.

But it was much warmer, and Karyn was glad of the ventilation the house provided. There were several windows for the room, and all of them were heavily muntined. At the foot of the bed, a French door led onto a small balcony. When she felt better, Karyn was looking forward to standing outside and seeing the view. Not that she hadn’t had a pegasus’s-eye view of the town before, but the motion and the height always distracted her.

The furniture had all been made by hoof, as imperfections and nuances showed. A dresser, a vanity, and a hope chest filled the room and gave it a homey charm. Karyn felt as though she could have been dropped into a 19th-century home, with the exception of the winged pony returning to the room.

“Hey, Karyn. So, I don’t know what this will do for you, but I always take it for an upset stomach, so maybe it’ll do good.”

“OK, I’ll try anything at this point. What is it, tea?”

“Kind of. An herbal infusion, though I don’t think there are actual tea leaves in it. “

Karyn sipped slowly at first, then drank deeper. “It’s not bad,” she said. “It could use some cream and sugar, but for the most—“

She closed her mouth and her cheeks bulged out. A churning sound was heard from her stomach. She got out of bed and ran to the door at the end of the room. She hoped it was the bathroom, because she didn’t have time for a lengthy search.

She was lucky. Even the toilet seat was made of wood, but the plumbing seemed modern enough, and that was lucky also. From outside the room, Derpy heard a sound she’d rather not have.

“You OK in there? Anything I can do to help?”

The toilet flushed. Karyn said, “Not unless you have a toothbrush or some mouthwash or something I can use before all that stomach acid eats my teeth. Plus my breath smells like. . . Spike’s.”

“I don’t, but Colgate lives a few houses down. Wait here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Karyn said as she began rinsing her mouth out with water from the sink.

Derpy returned with a toothbrush and baking soda. For Karyn, who was used to flavored toothpastes, it was a little off-putting, but at least she got the nastier taste out of her mouth.

“I’m sorry about the herb drink,” said Derpy. “I guess it didn’t react well to a human stomach.”

“It reacted just fine. But don’t sweat it too much,” said Karyn as she shambled back to bed. “It actually feels better now that it’s over and I’ve gotten it out. I’m not as queasy as I was. I’m just glad I had my hair in a ponytail.”

“You did? Whose?”

“No, it’s just means pulling it back and holding it in place with a rubber band.”

“It makes you look prettier. Anyway, I’m going to put some soup on the boil for you. You’ve got to eat and keep up your strength. Don’t worry, I’ll only use natural vegetables.”

Derpy started to head out of the room, then turned back. “I just wish there were something I could do medicinally—wait! I’ll go see Zecora!”

“The zebra?”

“Yeah, she knows everything about cures and such. She’s got to have something that can fix you up. I’ll leave the soup to simmer. Wait here.”

“Again, I’m not going anywhere.”

Derpy flew as fast as she could to the Everfree Forest. In broad daylight, it was less scary than usual, and Zecora didn’t live too deep within. When she knocked on the door, she heard the deep voice from within.

“Well, now. I wonder who is it. Perhaps a friend, coming to visit?”

Zecora opened the door and said, “Oh, my. Who is this that I see? Why, it’s Miss Hooves, first name Derpy.”

Ever since Zecora had been coming to Ponyville regularly, Derpy liked to be around her to hear the way she talked.

“Hi, Zecora. You know, I’ve always liked the way you speak in rhymes, but I’ve never learned the trick. Anyway, I’m here because I have a friend who’s. . . feeling ill.”

“Ah, so that is why, my hut, you seek. Tell me, who is the pony of whom you speak?”

Derpy had entered the hut and was examining a rack of spices. “I’m not sure you know her, she’s—hey, is this cumin? Oh, she’s not a pony, she’s Karyn the. . . young lady.”

“A human girl that you brought to our town? A shame she must see it when she’s feeling down.”

“She’s been here a couple of times—healthy—before. Now, I’m trying to help her, and I want to do. . . something extra.”

Zecora smiled. “To nurse a sick friend is a laudable goal. Tell me, what have you done for the poor human foal?”

“Her stomach hurt; I hoped your herb drink would calm it. But instead, when she drank it, it just made her. . . upchuck.”

“To offer her medicine shows a good heart, but giving her that was a wrong on your part. Fear not, though, your first act was just a rehearsal. I will find you a cure that is more universal.”

“Oh, if you only could, I’d be grateful to no end. I’ve just got to help her, she’s such a good. . . companion.

Zecora brought out a supply of tree bark. “Keep her in bed, with her head on a pillow. And have her chew this. It comes from a willow.”

“I hope it doesn’t backfire, the way the drink did. I wish you could see her, she’s such a cute. . . child.” Derpy packed the bark in her saddlebag and prepared to go. “Can you really assure me that this will be mild? She’s awfully fragile, being only a. . . kid.”

“How someone will react, we can never quite tell. But even Fluttershy uses it, when her animals are not well.”

“If it works for those fauna, I’ll give her this flora. See you ‘round. Thanks a lot. Au revoir, Miss. . . Zebra lady!”

After that exchange, Derpy sped home and took the soup off the stove. She carried the bowl and the tree bark up to Karyn, who was still awake coughing and sneezing. From a closet, she found a snack table and set it up.

“Now, eat up and then you can take your medicine.”

“What medicine? And what’s with the bark?”

“That is the medicine, according to Zecora.”

“I have to chew bark?!” asked Karyn. “Don’t you have medicine in capsules? I know I’ve seen that.”

“A few, but I’m afraid of a repeat of before. Zecora said that anypony can take this.”

Karyn leaned over and picked up the spoon. It was awkward eating the soup nearly lying down, but she didn’t feel like sitting all the way up. The soup was hot and clear, and she enjoyed the steam going up her nostrils. She slurped it down and, while it didn’t clear her sinuses, it did ease her stomach, which was hungry after her earlier episode.

“This is better than the soup I had at Twilight’s,” she said.

“Heh. Maybe you just have bad reactions to magic.”

“I hope not. I love being around it. I don’t think that’s it. I never suffered any ill effects when we were making the movie.

She finished the soup and looked at the bark. “Do I really have to chew this?”

“It really will make you feel better. If you want, I can reheat some of that soup so that it burns your tongue and you won’t taste it.”

“That’s not necessary.” Karyn bit off a bit of the bark and put it in her mouth. “It’s not so bad if I cheek it and don’t have to taste it. I just wish I didn’t know I was eating tree.”

“Don’t eat it. When you’re done with that piece, you can start chewing another.”

“All right. But I’d like to rest now.”

“That’s a good idea,” said Derpy. “You’re going to need something for that. Wait here.”

“I keep telling you—“

But Derpy was gone and back before Karyn could finish her sentence. In her mouth she had a black handle, at the end of which was a shiny brass bell. She set it down next to Karyn, then tucked her into bed.

“Now, you just ring if you need anything. Anything at all.”

“OK. Thanks, Derpy. But I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just want to sleep.”

Derpy left the room and stood outside waiting. After four or five minutes, she went back in. She didn’t want to wait until Karyn fell asleep.

“Karyn?”

“Yeah, Derpy?”

“Aren’t you going to ring the bell?”

“What? I don’t need anything.”

“I guess sickness is different among humans. When somepony here gets, say, the pony pox, a friend comes over and gives her a bell. As soon as the friend leaves, the sick pony rings the bell. When the friend rushes back, the sick pony says that she was just testing it out. Then the friend goes back out, and the sick friend rings the bell to ask for her pillow to be fluffed. After that the ritual gets less structured.

“But you should be making more petty requests until I get frustrated and take the bell away. Then you apologize, we become better friends, and it finishes up with me catching whatever it was, and then the roles reverse. It’s a friendship tradition going back ages.”

Karyn leaned back, and a smile came over her face. “That sounds wonderful. It sounds like a lot of fun. But no, I’m really tired and hurting, and I just want to sleep. Let’s start a new ritual, just you and me. I’ll ring the bell when I wake up and that way you won’t miss a minute of awake-me.”

“All right,” said Derpy.

She trotted downstairs. As she tidied the kitchen, she thought of how different ponies and humans were. When Dinky was sick, jokes like the bell would cheer her right up, and there were plenty of magical remedies to make illness a mere nuisance. But Karyn treated her cold as more as something to be endured than something to be cured. If she could just find the right magic, Karyn could jump out of the bed and be normal again.

Karyn turned over onto her stomach, which she found more comfortable for sleeping. Normally, she loved being around Derpy because, even if she was exasperating, it was a fun kind of wearing-out. She had heard the school of thought that said that the best thing to do with a cold was to work through it, pretend you weren’t sick, and let the body fight it off while you didn’t lose any time. She thought that was incredibly stupid. She just wanted to lie still until she was well again, and then have fun with Derpy. But she was still committed to not overspending her time in Equestria. She was not going to graduate college nominally twenty-two but physically thirty. But she would table that for now. Her breathing slowed and she fell asleep.

When she came to, there was drool drying on the pillow and on her mouth. She took stock of her situation. She could breathe a little easier, and her muscles didn’t hurt quite as much. She took a few deep breaths, and then rang the bell.

Derpy came trotting in. “You feeling any better?” she asked.

“A little. Kind of hungry. How long was I asleep?”

“Almost four hours. I’ve got stuffed mushrooms in the oven, and you can have as many as you want. Get your strength back up.”

“I’d like that. And as much as I hate to say it, I think chewing the bark helped. What was in it?”

“I don’t know. I can ask Zecora the next time I see her. I’ll get a nice poetic answer.”

From downstairs, they heard a knock on the door. “I’ll get that. You wait here,” said Derpy.

“Why does she keep thinking I’m going to leave?” said Karyn, after she was alone.

Derpy reached the front door. “Oh, hey! Zecora! You’ve got perfect timing! We were just talking about you, and your wonderful. . . habit of speaking in couplets.”

“Then I take it your friend is feeling better? Or at least, she’s not quite so far under the weather?”

“She just woke back up from a nap on my bed. I’m sure that your medicine helped clear her. . . sinuses.”

“If it helped, I am proud, and will stand tall. But I came round to see her, and make a sick call.”

They went up and Derpy introduced her two friends.

“Zecora, this is Karyn, who I earlier hyped. Karyn, meet Zecora, so beautifully. . . patterned in alternating black and white sections.”

Karyn nearly collapsed back on the bed again. “Derpy, please tell me that you’re doing that intentionally and not trying to offend her.”

“What am I doing? Did I say something wrong? I’d never insult her, we always get. . . on well together.”

Zecora smiled and leaned in close to Karyn. “She can’t help it, my dear. A residual effect of my magical aura, or so I suspect.”

“Then am I going to start talking like that too?” asked Karyn.

“I believe that would take some more prolonged exposure. I’ve known Derpy a while, and we’ve only grown closer.”

“But why does she always get the wrong word?”

“Perhaps it is not quite the word you would seek. But Derpy is not wrong. She is simply. . . unique.”

Derpy stomped her hoof. “Would you two kindly stop talking about me in third person? It’s a little annoying, and my mood may. . . become not as good as it is now.”

Karyn exchanged a meaningful look with Zecora, then said to Derpy, “I’m sorry. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Once Derpy was mollified, she addressed Zecora again. “So we were talking before about the medicine you gave me. How did chewing bark help my cold?”

“It’s not the bark itself, but what it has in. Salicylic acid, or what some call aspirin.”

“Oh! I vaguely remember reading about that. It’s the same thing on Earth. We just have it in pill form.”

Derpy said, “So, Z, I’ve got stuffed mushrooms down in the oven! Can you stay here for dinner? I made them with. . . tender care.”

“Certainly, Miss Derpy.”

Karyn sneezed. “I guess even though I’m feeling better, I’m still getting over the cold.”

Zecora reached into her bag. “A cure for the cold is not something I have, but for fast getting over, try using this salve.”

She handed Karyn a small jar filled with white cream. Karyn stuck her finger in and sniffed it. “So how do I apply this, just under my nose, or—whoa!”

Karyn leaped out of bed and took a deep breath. Her voice was back to its natural pitch. “I’m better! I don’t hurt anywhere and my nose is clear and it’s like I never had the cold. This is some awesome stuff! Thanks, Zecora. What’s in this one?”

“Some rather rare stuff you do not have on Earth. And some deep zebra magic too, for what it’s worth.”

“I wish it worked on the cold proper, but this is almost as good. I’ll be right back on schedule for the week.”

Derpy said, “Oh, good! I’m so happy, now let’s all go down. And then, if you’re up to it, we’ll trot around. . . Ponyville.”

Karyn rolled her eyes. “I’ll take a walk with you or Zecora, but both at the same time is a strain on my brain.”

They sat at the table and chatted. Zecora was curious about forests on Earth and Karyn tried to explain as much as she could, even though she wasn’t an expert on nature. Derpy said little, but had a wide grin on her face throughout the meal.

When she was picking the plates up for cleaning, she said, “So how about that walk now? Come on, with all three. I know we’ll enjoy it, or my name’s not. . . Hooves.”

“Thank you, my friend,” said Zecora, “but I must be going. I must get home before night, and make sure candles are glowing.”

They all hugged good-bye. When Zecora was gone, Karyn said, “I’m willing to walk around town with you for a while.”

“Great! Let’s go.”

“Good, I just wanted to make sure.”

“Make sure of what?”

“Never mind. So you spend a lot of time with Zecora?”

“Yeah, whenever she comes into town. It’s a little scary in the Everfree Forest, so I don’t go visit her much. I’m just so pleased that the two of you get along. It’s usually awkward when you have two friends who meet each other for the first time. You’re afraid that they won’t like each other or worse, will only have one thing in common—the mutual friend.”

“I kinda know what you mean,” said Karyn. “But Zecora is wonderful with all the magic she knows. But if you are close, then why did you need to come to Earth to find a friend?”

Derpy said nothing, but kept walking into the town square and turned around and stared. Karyn came up to her and looked in the same direction.

“Oh! The sun is setting behind your house! How pretty!”

“It’s an awfully big house. Especially for one pony. You were supposed to be my roommate. I still don’t like living alone. But a weekly friend is better than no friend at all.”

Karyn looked at the house longingly. “You almost tempt me to stay. I’ve just got too much to do on Earth.”

“I know.”

“But who knows about the future?” said Karyn. Then she laughed.

“What is it?” asked Derpy.

“I just realized. Now I don’t even get to call out sick from class!”

Author's Notes:

Coming soon, to a web site near you!

“Wow, what a day!” said Karyn.

“Yeah, that really was a lot of fun. What did you call it again? A cardamom? Cardigan?” asked Derpy.

“Carnival."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As quietly as she could, Derpy got off the couch and folded the sheets neatly with her mouth.

As she was stacking them, she heard movement behind her. “Good morning, Derpy. How are you holding up?” asked Karyn.

“Not bad. I wish I could brush my mane and tail, to say nothing of my teeth."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“A genuine Cloudsdale cloud, ready for when I need it. And when I don’t, I can just put it out of the way.” She lifted with her hooves and the cloud moved to the ceiling, where it stayed.

“Very nice,” said Karyn. “Just don’t go bouncing on it and causing lightning strikes.”

“I would never do that. "

That's next week, right here on Derpy's Human!