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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 168: And one more: Derpily Ever After

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Judith Miller’s watch beeped, and she tapped it with her finger to see the alert. It was almost unnecessary, as the black shadow out the window caught her eye. She zipped her suitcase closed.

“Kids! The car’s here!” she called down the hall.

“Seriously?! I just got home!” Al Miller’s voice was cracking, which wasn’t unusual for a ninth-grader, but it took all the force out of his complaint.

“Which should have given you plenty of time to do your homework.”

“I didn’t get any for the weekend.”

Judith suspected that her son was lying, but didn’t call him out on it. The school year was young. There was time to get him straightened out later.

“Well, I’m ready,” said a voice that had already deepened, though not much. Kelly was attractive, a fact that caused Judith significant consternation, more than her own mother ever had to deal with. Judith was as plain as her mother, and had found her husband based solely on the force of her personality.

“Sure you are,” Al called. “You don’t have to go to school.”

“I do next week, and I have to pack for more than two nights.”

“Mom, why does college start later and finish earlier than high school?”

Judith’s watch beeped again. “Let’s argue about it in the car. Are you packed?”

He slung a backpack over his shoulder. A rumpled pile of clothes pressed onto a laptop and tablet. “Yeah.”

“Then come on, the meter’s running.”

“I don’t see why I have to throw away every weekend going over to Grandma Karyn’s.”

***

It had long been proven that rear-facing seats were safer, and as Judith got into the right-hand seat, she thought that both the front and back could be made that way. But in the first place, that would eliminate the conversation pit that the car had, and in the second, the last car crash had been over five years ago and made all the news sites.

“Mommy?” Kelly said. “Is it true that you used to own a car all on your own?”

“Yes, it is. Well, technically I leased it, but it was mine to use and no one else’s. Then again, my first car was given to me, used, by Grandma Karyn.”

“And you had to drive it yourself all the time, not just in emergencies?”

“That’s right. It was unsafe and inefficient. We couldn’t just be sitting here talking while we traveled. I would have had to keep my eyes on the road, and if I wanted to take a call I would have been distracted and risked our lives.”

Al was leaning against the glass playing some game or other on his phone, but he chimed in. “And Kel, don’t try to bring up that Grandma Karyn invented the auto-drive car, because she didn’t.”

“Of course she didn’t, Al. You never paid attention. Grandma Karyn made up the story about testing the auto-drive car because Derpy had been learning to drive, and they got caught by someone.”

“Yeah, except that didn’t happen either. Grandma Karyn never had an invisible horse drive a car, because there are no such things as invisibility, horses that can fly, or other dimensions.”

Kelly leaned up against her own window and clammed up. Judith was relieved. This was an argument that they’d had too many times before.

But Al wasn’t giving up that easily. He put his phone down and needled his sister. “You still believe them, though, don’t you. Geez, you’re older than me and you still haven’t grown up.”

“If growing up means that I have to forget about Grandma Karyn’s stories, then call me Peter Pan.”

“That’s enough, you two.” Judith held her hands between them, even though they were keeping to their own sides well enough. “Whatever you both think of her, she’s your grandmother and she loves you.”

There was no more conversation until they reached the house.

Karyn lived in a kind of split-level. The lawn sloped up to the entrance, so Judith and her children walked to this. To the left a garage left over from the era of automobile ownership had been turned into a fully functional living space. But she no longer needed it.

At the entrance, stairs led up to the living room and four of the five bedrooms. Karyn had planned for a larger family, but it never came to pass. Still, guests were frequent and rare was the weekend that they were all empty. Indeed, usually Kelly and Al occupied two, and as children they had had endless fun playing hide and seek. In Judith’s childhood, it was the Only House.

Still spry, Karyn heard the door opening and went to greet them all. Dropping to her knees, she embraced Kelly before she reached the top of the stairs. Al stood by with his hands in his pockets. When the path was clear, he gave her a quick kiss and then made for the living room where he collapsed into a chair and resumed playing on his phone.

“Hi, Mom,” said Judith.

“Hello. Cup of coffee?”

“Thanks.” She watched Kelly run to the bathroom. Both children were out of earshot. “How are things?”

“About finished.”

“How finished?”

“It’s going to be tonight.”

Judith said nothing. She looked back at Al, but he was still lost in his electronic world. When Kelly returned, she let her play cards with her grandmother, a favorite pastime of theirs.

She had a second cup of coffee, a rarity for her. But she wanted to be on her highest alert, to remember this night forever. From her seat at the dining room table she could see her mother and her daughter at their game, and her son in the other room. Al wasn’t a bad child by any means. By all accounts he would be a success once he lost some of his flippancy and buckled down. But not too soon. He was so much like her father…

It shook her out of her reverie to think of her father again. She knew it would have to be dealt with, and once Karyn finished her game with Judith and sent her off to play, she came in and sat down.

“You’re doing it because of Dad,” Judith began.

“I’m doing it because I’ve always know that I would do it. But you’re right, I wouldn’t have done it when he was alive.”

She looked over at the picture that she kept between two candles. It was of a younger man, resplendent in a suit and tie. Careful observation of the skin would lead one to conclude that he had once been heavy and lost a great deal of weight.

“I still don’t see how you two got together.”

“Well, you know the story. Your father caught me and Derpy one time, and—“

Judith held up the hand. “I’ve heard that story a hundred times. But I thought you didn’t like each other.”

“Sometimes the closest friendships start out that way. Where you begin as rivals, but then you realize that you’re having so much fun getting together to argue with each other and fight that one day you give up and admit that you like each other.”

“Well, I haven’t heard the story a hundred times.” Kelly came bouncing into the kitchen. It was clear that she had only heard the last part of the conversation.

“It must be ninety-nine,” said Al.

“If you don’t want to hear Grandma Karyn’s stories, then go back to playing with your phone.”

“Kelly, I would like nothing better than to listen to Grandma Karyn actually tell us what life was like for her growing up. Everyone says how important it is to respect the past and what it can teach us, and I agree with that. It just happens to be the case that our particular grandmother would rather spin yarns than tell us real stories. It’s why I liked listening to Grandpa better. He made being a detective sound cool.”

Karyn laughed. “There was probably about as much truth in his stories as you think there is in mine. I’ll tell you that most of his work was investigating from a desk, doing research on a person online, not trailing them in cars like you’re thinking of. Which I was fine with, I’ll tell you.”

“You’re calling him a liar?”

“No, just that he told stories in his own way. Are you calling me one when I tell you about Derpy?”

Al bristled, but it was the playful banter of family, not a serious argument. He shrugged and shook his head. “OK, how about this? How did you and Grandpa get together afterwards? You’ve told us almost nothing about after you left school.”

“You’re right, I haven’t. But there isn’t much to tell. I moved from job to job for the first five years or so before I settled in at a small company that got bought up by Google. That made me comfortable and gave me the chance to work on the kind of tech I always wanted to. Moved into embedded software that the average person doesn’t have to see the insides of and can’t break. That gave your grandfather and me enough breathing room to get married, which wasn’t as expensive as it is today but still cost a pretty penny. Then there was your mother, and we always talked about having more kids, but I never caught at the right time, so we decided that we were meant to only have one. It was a happy time, and happy times don’t make for the best stories.

“In all honesty, we could have made it just on my income, but Grandpa likes his work, he was always passionate about it, and he was good. There were times we didn’t see each other for a while because he was on a case, but he got the kind of reputation where the other detectives called him in for the tough ones. That gave him times when he wasn’t working at all, and managed the household, once I taught him the budgeting techniques that Derpy explained to me.”

Al’s eyes rolled, as it seemed every story that Karyn told went back to Derpy.

“I liked those times,” said Judith. “There were times when Dad raised me all on his own, and times that you did, Mom. It was interesting. Like, I could relate to both my single-parent and two-parent friends. But I never got to ask you for something when Dad said no or vice versa.”

Karyn laughed, but Al hadn’t gotten the answer to his question. “But what I want to know is how you and Grandpa got together. When did he decide that you were the one?”

“You think it was his decision?” Karyn gave him a kiss on the forehead. “But OK, your grandfather and I were enemies at first. I didn’t like the way he kept invading my privacy, and he didn’t like that I kept secrets from him. Also I had Derpy cast some weird spells. Or maybe he did see something in me right from the first, and his suspicion was just his way of trying to get close to me. You never know how you’re going to find a friend, even a lifelong one as he was. That’s why you’ve got to be open to new people.

“But I digress. After we both finished school, we bumped into each other a few times until we knew where each other lived…although he probably knew where I lived first. We kept going to places we knew we would be, until we realized that we were enjoying fighting with each other more than being apart. After a few months of doing that without saying anything, we decided we might as well call each other friends. He said that he hoped we would be more than that, and by that time he had gotten into shape and mellowed his personality. I said yes, and then, eventually, I said yes when he asked me to marry him.”

“Well, I think that’s sweet. Especially the part about Derpy.” Kelly looked at her brother, but Al refused to take the bait on this occasion.

“My goodness, it’s getting late. Time seems to fly by more quickly these days.” Karyn stood up, indicating to her grandchildren that it was time for bed. Al was content to walk off with a cursory good-night, but Kelly insisted on being tucked in by her grandmother just as she had when she was a little girl. Karyn didn’t object.

When she returned to the table, Judith was holding on to her coffee cup, and Karyn could see that her hand was shaking.

“Does it have to be tonight?” the younger woman asked.

“No, it doesn’t have to be, but it’s going to be. I’m all the more sure after talking to the children about your father. Ever since he died…Judith, dear, I don’t have the strength to be a widow, waking up alone, watching TV all day, going to doctor’s appointments, hanging out with other widows, talking about our ailments. Since he passed, I’ve had something to do, to keep me going, but now…I’m old, my darling. I’ve been old for a while, but now I’m starting to feel it. Something has to be done.

“And it’s not as if I’m saying goodbye forever.”

“Aren’t you?” Karyn said nothing, so Judith continued. “Tell me that you really believe you’ll ever see Al again.”

“Do you think that he will miss me that much?”

“Won’t you miss him?”

“Dreadfully. But some sacrifices have to be made. It’s part of life. I’ve always told you that life isn’t as happy as in my stories of Equestria.”

“Then won’t you check on him once more?”

Karyn smiled. “Of course I already am. I sent them to bed early. I didn’t think they’d really go.”

Judith had learned a while back that Karyn, ever technologically savvy, had wired her house for sound. As a daughter, she found this unconscionable. As a mother, she understood completely. Karyn had denied Judith privacy, but in exchange had given her a long leash so long as she didn’t commit crimes or endanger herself. It was good policy.

So now she turned on the monitoring. As she predicted, both her grandchildren had gone to one room and were talking. For all their differences, they were still siblings.

“I’m not saying that there’s nothing true in Grandma’s stories.” It was Al’s voice. “There are some real elements in there. But isn’t it coincidental how none of her stories have any proof with them? Like, supposedly she was given a ten-million-dollar dress, but chose not to spend any money. Or, she was a shapeshifter—“

“Changeling,” Kelly said, interrupting.

“Whatever. But she conveniently lost those abilities a year later.”

“What about her cutie mark? That could be tested.”

“That’s safest of all. She knows that no one’s going to ask to look at her backside; it’s not done in polite society.

“You have an answer for everything.”

Al snorted. “I just want to know why you believe in fairy tales when you’re an adult now.”

“Because it makes me happy, OK? Because I care more about happiness and friendship than about being right all the time. Maybe you’re right, and there’s no magic in the world, and there’s no such thing as ponies or Derpy Hooves. But if you are, then that just means that the world sucks.”

She got up and slammed that door, indicating that they had been in Al’s room. Judith turned to her mother. “I suppose that we shouldn’t go comfort her.”

“No, not yet. There will be a time for it.” Karyn got up and stretched her aching bones. “Right now, I think that I’d like to go to bed. I find myself eager for tomorrow.”

“All right, Mom.” Judith gave her one more hug, and they went off to their own rooms. As soon as they did, Karyn came back out and took one more walk around the house. Everything that she needed to take with her, she had.

When dawn came, Karyn rose first. It was important for her to keep things quiet so as to not wake the children. Creeping down to the kitchen, she made herself some coffee and waited.

It didn’t take long. There was the familiar sound and effect of magic, not once, not twice, but thrice. Three ponies stood in the kitchen, but Karyn’s house was so expansive that they didn’t want for space. Derpy and Karyn nodded as though greeting each other from across a room, then couldn’t hold themselves and embraced. When they finally let go, she turned to the unicorn beside her. “Hi, Dinky.”

The third pony was an Earth pony, or would have been taken as such by any casual observer. She had jet black fur, but as she moved, light from some unseen source flashed across her coat and made it shine with a purple light that was darker than black. Her mane was cut in a pageboy that made it look like a helmet, and she pawed at the ground while looking around, as though afraid a monster would emerge. She was a rare hybrid, a half-breed Crystal pony.

“Well, Downy,” Dinky said, “this is Earth.”

“Yes, Mommy, it is.” Downy had picked up Dinky’s term for her dam. Although Dinky had finally grown out of it, and now called Derpy “Mother,” she was happy to see the tradition carry on.

“You don’t have to be scared.”

“You tell me that, but my body shakes anyway. At least Karyn is here to comfort me.”

The old lady and the young mare came together in embrace. Karyn rubbed her mane, but it fell right back into place. She had a special place in her heart for Downy. Derpy was older, Dinky the same age, and Downy younger. She’d gotten to experience a relationship with a pony from all sides.

Whether roused by the noise or because she hadn’t slept well, Judith came downstairs to see her mother and the three ponies.

“Hi. You weren’t thinking of making a clean getaway, were you?”

“No, not at all. I would have come to wake you.” Karyn’s voice had no trace of dishonesty.

“So what are your plans once you get to Equestria? When you told me you were leaving forever, I sort-of took that as an absolute. But I want to make sure you’re taken care of.”

“Of course I will be. And don’t call it leaving forever. Think of it as…retirement. Just like other old people move to Florida or the islands. In any case, once I get there I’ll move with Derpy. We both think that we’re good enough friends—and old enough—to not have roommate squabbles. We’ll stay out of everypony’s way, and I’m sure the princesses won’t kick up a fuss about one more human living in Equestria.

“Oh, that reminds me. Time might stop here on Earth when we leave, but it’ll get going eventually, and you won’t notice.

“Where was I? Right, what we’re doing. Just relaxing, that’s all. Though I was thinking of finding Queen Chrysalis and asking to be a changeling queen again. I could get rid of some of my wrinkles. At the time, I thought I was supposed to be human, but now I’ve got to take what I can get.”

Judith treasured these last moments with her mother on Earth, and was listening carefully. “If the time stops, will I not see you again?”

“Of course you will. We’ve gotten good at moving it when we translate to Equestria. When you visit with Dinky, she’ll bring you to see me. More important, at this point in her life, is for Kelly to meet Downy so they can grow together. And someday…

“Dinky will come get you when your time comes, just as Downy will come for Kelly someday. It’ll be up to you and to her to keep the tradition. You weren’t born into a normal family, but I make no apologies for that. Perhaps it was always meant to be that Derpy’s line and ours were supposed to be family, but something got crossed up and we wound up in different universes, and we needed magic to reconnect us.”

Judith gave her mother a hug and told her that she loved her. Karyn went to stand by Derpy and Judith by Dinky.

“May I meet Kelly now?” asked Downy.

Karyn said, “No, but you can see her. Dinky, would you take her to Kelly’s room?”

While the ponies left, Karyn went to see her grandson. He was asleep, but stirring. She put a hand on his head.

“You’re very different from me. But that’s who you are,” Karyn whispered. “It’s better for you not to know. You’ll grow up believing that you have a good grip on the world, and it will make you happy. Though you’ll not see me again, I think you’ll get over it soon.”

Al’s eyes flitted open. “Gramma?”

“It’s all right. Go back to sleep.”

“Love you,” he muttered, closing his eyes.

Then Karyn went back to Kelly’s room. She was sleeping more soundly and did not notice the three ponies in her room. Downy was hovering over. “She’s pretty,” she said. “I’m sure that we will be good friends.”

“So am I,” Karyn whispered. “But let’s let her sleep right now. Next week, your mother will show you how to calibrate the spell and visit her.”

“I’ll give her some preparation and warning,” said Judith as she headed toward the door. “Rather than just have Downy pop into existence in her room.”

“That worked out well for me. But I see your point. Give me a moment with her.”

Judith and the ponies left, and Karyn repeated her gesture of devotion that she had given her grandson. “I love you, the most and the best. I’m sorry I have to leave you, but my greatest gift to you will be knowing that magic exists and that you are a part of it.”

Kelly did not wake, but Karyn didn’t mind. She would see her again.

Downstairs to the great room they all went. Karyn kissed her daughter one more time. “I’ve made arrangements to put the house and everything in your name. All my affairs are settled. I’ve had a good life on this world. It’s time for me to go.”

“I understand now,” Judith said, but there were still tears in her eyes.

“Come and see me in Equestria. I won’t be far away.”

She mounted up on Derpy, who looked up at her. “Now everything will be perfect, forever.” She slipped her hoof into the spell that she would use for the last time. Dinky and Downy prepared theirs.

They turned their hooves, and the only people left on Earth were human.

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Other Titles in this Series:

  1. Lyra's Human

    by pjabrony
    111 Dislikes, 25,795 Views

    Yet another in the increasing Lyra-meets-with-a-human subgenre

    Everyone
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    11 Chapters, 17,223 words: Estimated 1 Hour, 9 Minutes to read: Cached
    Published Jan 25th, 2012
    Last Update Nov 29th, 2012
  2. Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

    by pjabrony
    54 Dislikes, 15,498 Views

    Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

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