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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 160: 144: Evedink Gown

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It was well past the time that Derpy normally went to see Karyn, and she was fully aware that her friend would be worried about her. Soon she would go, and Karyn would be wondering what happened. Hopefully she would have a story to tell.

Dinky had written to her to say that she and Princess Celestia had decided that her extra study was over, that she was to take her exams. She had to do them on Saturday night, since Celestia was busy with the other students, to say nothing of ruling Equestria and raising the sun.

The exams would last long, but Celestia would look them over immediately, and Derpy expected her to be on the morning train with either a certificate or disappointment and a new plan.

The train’s scheduled time had already passed, but Derpy couldn’t hear the whistle from where she lived, so she couldn’t tell if it was late. It had to be. Dinky had nowhere else to go but home, right?

Derpy paced. She could leave, pop in at Karyn’s, explain that she was busy, and then make it back, but she was sure that if she did, Dinky would show in the time she was absent. And if she had fai—if she had not passed, then she would need her mother.

Without even noticing that she was bounding up to the door, Derpy heard the tinkle of magic on the door handle and saw it fly open. Checking first for the expression, it appeared that all was well. Dinky was smiling, open-mouthed. But Derpy was still cautious. “Did you…?” she began.

“Passed them all! Near-perfectly! Mommy, I am a graduated unicorn.”

Derpy swept in and put her hooves under Dinky’s. She lifted her up and flew in a circle. This had been a fun game when Dinky was small, but Derpy could only go around once for fear of throwing out her back. “I can’t tell you how proud I am of you.”

“Thank you, Mommy. Actually, they were the easiest tests I think I’ve had.”

“You’ve recovered your magic well.”

Dinky flopped onto the couch. “Maybe, but there were two things. One is that there wasn’t as much pressure. Even if I failed, it was going to be OK. It wasn’t like I had to make up the work.”

“And the other thing?”

“Is that they’re the last tests I’ll take in my life.”

She made as though to chastise her daughter, but Derpy realized that it was true, that her child who had been a student for the vast majority of her life, was now no longer under that burden, and was free to shirk studying now. It was time for celebration, not reproach. “You must have a gift for this,” she said.

“I don’t need anything.”

“Nonsense. You know I put away bits for things like this, and I’ve been doing so for your graduation gift for a while. What do you want?”

Dinky appeared to think of something, but shook her head. “It’s really not necessary. Buy yourself something nice. Or throw a party and invite everypony.”

“I can do that too, but you should still have something. How about a new dress?”

“A dress? Something that I could wear to go out? Yes, I think I might like that.”

“Perfect. Let’s go pick it out.” Derpy was already half out the door.

“Just a moment. It’s Sunday. Isn’t it supposed to be when you visit Karyn?”

“Oh, wow, you’re right! I completely forgot! She must be flipping out thinking I’m not coming.”

“And I was hoping she could help me pick out my dress. You go get her and I’ll wait here.” She made for the couch again, but Derpy swooped around back and pushed her to the door.

“We’ll walk to the dressmaker’s and you can start picking out ones you want. Then I’ll come back with Karyn and you can talk it over.”

She was not to be balked, and so Dinky followed her mother. When they reached Ponyville’s nominal business district, she looked for dress shops that would be reasonable, but Derpy pointed right to Carousel Boutique.

“Oh, Mommy, you can’t afford to get me a Rarity. And I don’t need one.”

“Nonsense. Besides, I’m flying to get Karyn, so you’d better stay here and look.” Before Dinky could get in another word, Derpy took off.

With a cautious step, Dinky poked open the door with a hoof, quite unlike her magical opening that she used at home. She was relieved to not see the designer herself, but only an assistant straightening a dress on a mannequin. As the bell in the shop rang, she turned. “Welcome! I am Tweed, are you looking for a dress today?”

“Yes, I’m supposed to get one as a graduation gift.”

“Perfect. Wait right here and Miss Rarity will attend to you.”

Dinky tried to get the assistant to stay, but she was already getting Rarity out of her working cloister. “Hello, my dear girl. How can I help you? Tweed said you need a dress for a graduation?”

“Well, no. I’ve just graduated, sort of, and there might be a party, but maybe not…I’m sorry, I’m not sure what I want.”

“Well, don’t worry. I will find or make something just for you. Maybe something to catch that special somepony?”

Dinky blanched. It was bad enough trying to talk to the famous designer, but this touched a nerve. She backed away.

Rarity immediately turned sympathetic and pushed away the rack of fabrics she had brought over. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, but please don’t mention special someponies.”

“Unlucky in love?”

“No, it’s the opposite” Dinky wasn’t sure why she was confessing to a relative stranger. “I have one and I haven’t told my mother. I don’t know how she’s going to react when I do.”

“If it’s your mother, she should be the most supportive.”

“Yes, she should. Show me some dresses in the meantime, please.”

Rarity picked out some off the rack that she thought would fit her, but Dinky was only half paying attention. She would wait for her mother and Karyn to help her.

After a while she heard the bell ring again, and she looked over the racks to see Karyn’s blonde hair looming over. Racing over, she exchanged greetings. “I hope you don’t mind,” Karyn said, “but Derpy’s already told me the good news. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do next?”

“You mean after we decide on this dress?” Dinky convinced herself to say it quickly, before she lost her nerve. “I’m going to have to discuss that with Able. You know, my coltfriend.”

She was somewhat pleased that she was able to slip in two pieces of information at once. Hopefully, her mother would be so focused on the existence of the pony in question that she would gloss over the fact that Karyn knew.

“You have a coltfriend?” Derpy said. “That’s great! I hope I get to meet him soon. Well, if that’s the case, then we have more to celebrate, and you’d better pick out the best dress possible. Rarity, please give her the best you’ve got.”

Rarity nodded, happy to avoid any drama in her store that she didn’t provide herself. She led Dinky to a fitting room to get all her measurements perfect.

Left alone, Karyn said to Derpy, “You took that news quite well. I’m glad.”

“You think so?”

“Mmhm.”

“Good. It’s the first time I’ve been able to act well enough to convince Dinky. Really I’m all a mess inside. I mean, Dinky with a stallion? Really? I’m scared and I’m sad for her and I’m feeling old and just so crazy with all these feelings. But Dinky needs to think that I’m behind her all the way.”

“I suppose that’s the best thing.”

Dinky emerged with a fabric that she preferred. It wasn’t gaudy, just a simple pale peach, but it would go well with her hair color. Rarity got to cutting and styling the dress while Dinky gave her mother a brief biography of her new beau. She explained that he was a baker and by all appearances was doing all right at his work.

“But his knowledge is limited to the Crystal Empire…did I mention he’s a crystal pony? Anyway, I want to show him southern baking style so that he can impress them up there, and he’s on board with that. We can split living between there and here, so I won’t be going away permanently and will still be able to visit.”

“That’s important.”

“Just think, Mommy. All those times you and me baked muffins, you were helping to set me up for what I was going to do with my life. Even though I’ve got a magic cutie mark like so many unicorns, this is really my destiny.”

Derpy couldn’t say anything to that, and she hid her face lest her emotions show.

Rarity finished the primary cut, and assured Derpy and Dinky that it would be ready soon. “And if you need to come back for a wedding dress, I can do that for you too.”

Both of them scuttled back and raised their hooves in shock. “I’m not ready for that!” they said simultaneously.

Everyone had a good laugh at that, and Derpy and Rarity stepped aside to haggle over price. Karyn had never seen so many bits exchanged in a single moment, and feared for Derpy, but only a moment. She knew that her friend was financially responsible.

After the paperwork was signed, Derpy and Dinky turned to go, but Rarity said, “Just a moment, please. I have something here…ah!” She pulled over a rack from a distant corner of the store and floated over a jacket on a hanger. It was off-white but when the light hit it just right it would shine ever so slightly. “For your new coltfriend.”

Derpy shook her head. “I just wanted to buy the dress.”

“On the house, dear.”

Equally embarrassed, Dinky said, “We don’t need a lagniappe, Miss Rarity.”

“Men’s clothing doesn’t sell nearly as well, but even so, it ought to be part of the deal. Still, if you don’t want to take it for free…”

“We don’t want to prey on your generosity.” Derpy went to leave again.

“…then you could do a favor for me in return.”

That got everyone’s attention. “What did you have in mind?” asked Karyn.

Rarity signaled for them to wait, then returned with her cat Opalescence. “Do you remember when my little kitty here had kittens by your cat, Derpy?”

“Of course.”

“She sees all of her kittens from time to time, with the exception of the one you placed, Karyn.”

Karyn was still catching up remembering the kittens. She had placed one with a family near her school, but it wasn’t someone she knew personally and she hadn’t thought about it since. The cat, called Iridescence, was more intelligent than the average feline, but not magical in any way and could give no proof of Equestria.

“You want us to take Opal to see her kitten?”

“I was rather hoping that you could bring the kitten here to see her mother. Just look at the poor liitle thing. No little kitty should be separated from their child forever.” Rarity hugged her pet, offering her as evidence of her case. Opal herself seemed nonplussed, wearing the same bored expression she usually did.

“I’m not sure that I can convince the family who has her to let her go, but I’ll see what I can do. Derpy, I’ll need your help.”

“Sure thing. Dinky, you want to hang out here? Keep chatting with Rarity?”

“If it’s all the same,” Dinky said, “I’ll head home and relax. It’ll be the first time I won’t have to think about schooling since…well, since I first went to Miss Cheerilee’s classroom.”

Derpy let her go and took Karyn on her back. While flying back to Earth, she said, “She seems happy to get out of school. I can’t help thinking that, if it was me, I’d be regretting that I hadn’t held on and graduated with all my friends.”

“You say that, but you never had to do all the work. It’s different when you’ve put in the time. It’s the same way that we, Dinky and I, can’t understand all the years you’ve hauled mail. But let me focus on this little mission here and find the people we’re looking for.”

Once they were back in Karyn’s universe where she could get signal, she went back through her social network archives and found the communication between her and the family that she gave Iridescence to, the Delacroix family. After some cross-referencing, she found an address.

“I think I can get there,” said Derpy.

“Take your time. I need to gird myself for this. I get nervous when I have to talk to relative strangers. I’m not sure how I’m going to approach this subject.”

Derpy found the house in a neighborhood near the college but unconnected to it, and by providence the mailbox had the family name on it, ensuring they were at the right house.

After ringing the doorbell, Karyn endured the interminable thirty-second wait for someone to arrive. It helped that he was an older man, mustachioed, with an avuncular smile.

“Mr. Delacroix? You don’t know me, but I arranged the adoption of your cat.”

“Of Eerie?” he said, using the cat’s nickname. “That was a while ago. Is there any problem?”

For a moment Karyn thought of trying to spin some story about a spreading disease that she could be investigating, but she didn’t trust herself to lie well that quickly. She tried to stay vague. “Would it be possible to see the cat for a few moments?”

“I’m sure it’s sleeping right now. Are you a friend of Jane’s?”

Trying to understand his question, Karyn concluded that Jane was his daughter who had gone to the same school as her. “Not particularly, but how’s she doing?”

“Hasn’t found work yet,” he said, reminding Karyn of her own obligations. “Ah, here she is.”

Iridescence, either by coincidence or by recognizing Karyn’s voice or smell, came toddling into the room. She rubbed up against her owner, then looked up curiously at Karyn, or rather at the place near her where Derpy was hovering invisibly.

“Hey, little one.” She held out her hand to let it be sniffed. “You remember me?”

“She very well might,” Mr. Delacroix said. “She’s a smart cat. She can open the pantry, and if we didn’t keep something heavy on the food tub, she could get that too.”

While her mind was racing on how to get the cat out for a while, Karyn felt the ground drop out from beneath her, and in a moment of panic, let out a small scream. Then she realized what had happened. Derpy had scooped her both her and Iridescence and, in a single motion, teleported to Equestria and stripped her invisibility spell.

“Yeesh! Warn me next time, will ya?”

“I thought this would be easiest. We’ll go back at the same moment, so you won’t have to ask to take Eerie anywhere.”

“No, I’ll just have to figure out an excuse to leave.”

For her part, Iridescence seemed to take the change in dimensions in stride, and hopped out of Karyn’s arms to nestle on Derpy’s neck and let her keep her balance as she landed.

They went right back to Rarity’s shop, where the proprietress had hung around the front area waiting for their return. She fawned all over the kitty, being the type who liked all cats even if they didn’t take to her. Then she put her with Opalescence and watched, hoping for some sort of bonding scene.

The two cats sniffed each other, and Iridescence turned her back to show trust. Opal nibbled at the back of her neck the way she would have with a tiny kitten, but did not pick her up. Eerie accepted this and then they both laid down in a kind of spoon position, the mother on the outside.

“Aww, how cute,” said Derpy.

“Why don’t we leave them here for a while and go back and see Dinky.” Karyn liked cats, but did not find them entertaining to be around. Neither did she think it would be fun to hang out in the dress shop.

“Sounds good. I think I want to see my own cat and give him a pet on the head.”

But when they reached her home, Derpy’s cat Muffinhead just meowed at them and ran to go back to sleep. Dinky was also taking a nap, and so the two girls just sat in the kitchen and chatted in low voices. Karyn considered whether she should tell Dinky, when she woke, about her mother’s reaction to the news that she had a coltfriend. Also, if she did, whether to do so in secret or to try to reconcile the family over it. For it struck her that this would be the last barrier to a perfect love between the two. Once Derpy accepted that this would be her daughter’s adult life, no more but no less, nothing would mar their relationship.

She turned the conversation to Dinky. It did not take much of an effort to get Derpy to open up to her, describing fears both vague and concrete. What if he left her? What if he mistreated her? What if the bakery business did not do well, and they were dependent on Dinky? Dinky’s only job had been in the curio shop, and without the full certification of Princess Celestia, who would hire her?

It took Karyn a while to realize that Derpy was projecting her own fears based on her marriage to Dinky’s father, Rocky,

It was then that Dinky came down stairs, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “You know, Mommy, your voice carries through the house.”

Derpy was caught short. “I didn’t mean for you to hear all that. I know that you want me to like your coltfriend.”

“You haven’t even met him yet. All I want is for you to give him a chance.”

“I’d like to meet him, at some point.”

“He’s in town, but busy today. Maybe we can invite him for dinner during the week. But Mommy, you have to know, he’s not Daddy.”

Derpy nodded, but Karyn could see that she wasn’t convinced. In one of her rare moments of inspiration, she said, “Don’t you see? It’s just like Muffinhead and Opalescence. Even though they’re apart, both from each other and from their children, there’s still a tie of love there. You saw how Opal still laid down with her kitten, though they haven’t seen each other for two years. No matter what happens with you and Dinky, what you have is a bond that can’t be broken, not by any harm she could receive. Because you’re always going to be here for her, with your door open. Isn’t that right?”

The response given was not to Karyn, but to Dinky, and Derpy let her voice soften as she said, “I’m sure that, if you like him, he’s got to be a wonderful stallion.”

Dinky hugged her mother and went back to her own room to relax more. This was another instinct that Karyn understood. Given her freedom to do anything, Dinky wanted to indulge it by doing nothing.

Karyn’s thoughts were on returning Iridescence to her proper home, and she brought it up to Derpy. “I don’t know how much time Rarity was having the cats spend together, but we should see if we can’t end the visit.”

“Yeah. Or, let’s take Muffinhead with us, so he can say hi too.”

She would not be talked out of this, so it took another fifteen minutes to get the cat ready for travel. Once back at Carousel, Rarity was less than thrilled at the full family reunion, but this helped extricate both father and daughter from Rarity’s clutches.

“I’ll have the dress for you in a few days,” she said to Derpy, “and you can give it to Dinky.”

“The sooner, the better. She has a dinner to wear it to.”

She explained no further, but Rarity smiled as if in on the joke.

There followed a comedy as Karyn picked up Iridescence and tried to get into the same position as when they left, with Derpy flying them up to height. Derpy reversed her motions, going invisible first then letting the other two go as she brought them back to Earth.

The cat jumped out of Karyn’s hands almost immediately and scaled the furniture with the grace of an acrobat until she reached the top of a wall unit. The kindly Mr. Delacroix laughed, bringing Karyn back to the moment.

“Told you she was smart,” he said.

“Yes, I see. Well, I just wanted to see her one more time, make sure she was happy. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”

He sensed that there might have been something deeper to the visit, but did not pursue the issue as he showed Karyn the way out.

“I feel good about today,” said Derpy.

“Because of the cats or Dinky?”

“Both, I think. As you said, there’s a parallel.” After they got back in the car and headed for Karyn’s apartment, she added, “But there’s no way I’m waiting two years to see her, ever!”

Karyn laughed. “Agreed.”

Author's Notes:

Here are some of the lines from next week's chapter!

"I’m impressed with the decorations you put up. Must have cost you a pretty bit!”

“It did, but I had some left over after buying Dinky her present.”

Karyn looked over the scene and realized where she’d seen it before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“But nopony does go hungry, I mean, not past dinner time.”

“You’re right. And humans do. But then again, you don’t have seven billion ponies to deal with.”

“Stop reminding me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Derpy was rapt. She’d probably never thought how people made things more efficient.

“Then she’s helping out?”

“She’s invaluable.”

Come back and read while the reading's good!

Next Chapter: 145: Derp Hard, Play Hard Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 2 Minutes
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