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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 155: F10: Derp Woods Off

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When Derpy arrived at Karyn’s place, she was eager to hear how her friend’s week had gone.

“Did you find a job yet? Did they make you the chief IT person for Earth?”

“Ha, there isn’t such a person. That’s the great thing about information technology. We distribute things so that no one has too much power. There’s no Princess of IT.”

Derpy nodded understanding. “If there were, you should be it.”

“I’ve given up my crown, thank you. In any case, one doesn’t get jobs that fast.”

“But you did look, right?”

Sliding over to her laptop, Karyn brought up the schedule they had made the week before. “I kept all my appointments, but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to apply because I had to build up a resume. That’s not so fun when you don’t have experience. I had to tout my education, and even there I could only put my anticipated graduation day.”

“What’s that, then?”

“You don’t have resumes in Equestria? Another point in its favor. Anyone who hires someone wants to see a summary of your career on a single sheet of paper. Then they look for any excuse not to hire you.”

“I don’t get it.” Derpy sometimes had trouble telling when her not understanding something was because it was weird or because she was.

“I don’t really, either, but I have to do it. If I were going for human resources, maybe I’d try to change it, but I’m not.”

“But you did it, and now it’s done, right?”

Karyn shook her head with a sarcastic smile. “No, because I also have to have a cover letter. Something that says exactly as much as the resume but in prose. And I can’t just have a form letter, but one that’s tailored to every job I apply for. I’m supposed to tell them how much I want to work for their company, citing specific examples of great things they’ve done, and how I’d do it for as little money as possible.”

“You don’t sound happy.”

“Maybe not, but I’m making progress.”

Derpy walked over to the bed where she usually flopped to relax, but kept her stance and addressed Karyn. “I guess I thought that after you made your decision everything would be OK. But clearly not. Well, forget about it. It’s our day together and we’re going to have fun. Then you’ll be happy.”

Karyn agreed, but without much enthusiasm.

“Maybe what you need...” Derpy said, “...is more people. You know, the more the merrier, that kind of thing. What happened with that meetup group that you were hanging out with? Just because you’re working hard at trying to find a job doesn’t mean that you should neglect your friends. Even if they’re not me.”

“It’s funny you should say that. Anyway, I’m not neglecting them, but I’ve found that they’re not all what they seemed at first.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Karyn waved her hand in a circle, choosing her words carefully, “when I first met them I thought they were all into geeky stuff all the time. But it turns out that that was something they do occasionally, but they want to get as many people from all different interests to try new things. Like when we did the skydiving thing last time. Now, we do stuff that I like, and we do it more often than not because it’s simple and cheap. We’ll just get together for movie night or to play video games or such, but every once in a while someone suggest something more outdoorsy.”

“But that’s good. You should get out of your comfort zone.”

“Do you do that?”

Derpy looked up in remembrance. “I try to. When I can. I was always working and money was tight and when I tried to meet other ponies, they were always standoffish because of, you know.” She pointed to her eyes. “If anything, I wish I’d had more of a chance to try new things.”

“You sound like my mom does sometimes. How I have opportunities that she never did and should take advantage of them.”

“Well, it’s not that. I mean, do what you like.”

Karyn went over to her closet and pulled out a large luggage bag. It had four wheels on the bottom, and was of brown canvas. “I don’t know if I’m going to like this, but we’re going to do it anyway.”

“Huh? What are we doing?”

“This is what the group has planned for today. Camping.”

Her expression blank, Derpy eyed the bag and said, “Camping outdoors? Like, in the woods?”

“As I said, it’s what some of the people there like. I figured you would be into it.”

“There’s an awful lot of dirt. I did it once, and I couldn’t wait to shower.”

“If you don’t want to come with, I can understand that. You could go back to Equestria and...no, the time jump won’t work that way. Dang.”

Karyn had been looking down at her bag, but Derpy stuck a hoof under her chin and lifted her head up. “In the first place, I wouldn’t let you down when you need me. In the second, it’s our day and I’m not missing it. In the third, maybe camping in a different world will be fun.” She didn’t look like she meant the last one.

“Thanks, Derpy. Well, I’m meeting everyone soon, so I’ve got to pack. The last time I visited my folks I took some stuff that my father uses.”

Into the bag went a collapsible tent, and a thick sleeping bag that took up more space than Karyn wanted. A lantern and a pack of bottled water joined them, and last she put in some snacks including a bag of marshmallows.

“You’ve got a lot of stuff,” Derpy said. That could make camping more fun. When I did it it was just laying on the ground.”

“That’s called roughing it.”

“I guess that’s what I’ll be doing since I’m not bringing anything but myself and my saddlebag.”

Karyn hefted her bag, struggling with the weight. Once outside she let it rest on the bottom wheels, then had to power-lift again to get it in the trunk of her car. Slamming it down, she got in the driver’s seat and puffed out a heavy breath.

“Let’s get going.”

She drove a route that Derpy was familiar with from another recent drive. “Where exactly are we going?”

“It’s a place called Jerusalem Park. Don’t ask me why. It’s a much bigger place than the park we go to, and there are campgrounds there.”

“Oh, in a park. That could be better.”

“Better?” Karyn asked.

“I assumed that we’d be going out to the wilderness, way out in the middle of nowhere.”

“Oh, no. I probably would have found a way to beg off if they had been doing that. It would be a long hike in addition to the camping, and that’s a double whammy.”

The towns got smaller until they passed Riverside, the same place they had visited the aquarium. Derpy wished that she could see it again, but it wasn’t on their route.

One thing that was available was parking, even if it was on gravel. Karyn inched her way into the spot, worried that going too fast would puncture a tire.

When she stepped out, she looked at her phone and scowled.

“What’s wrong?” asked Derpy.

“No bars out here.”

“But you don’t drink—oh, you mean the phone.”

“Yeah. But that also means that I can’t talk to you with the Bluetooth. Everyone knows that there’s no coverage out here.” Secretly, Karyn was disappointed that she didn’t have reception just for general use.

“We’ll make do somehow. Where do we find the others?”

Karyn unloaded her bag, and Derpy did help by lifting one end just off the ground. Not only did this alleviate the weight that Karyn had to lug, but made moving it across the uneven ground easier. Even when they were on the dirt paths, it was nice to not get the wheels soiled.

The meetup group was listed on a bulletin board at the main gate, and they were directed to a campsite by number. When they reached it, several tents were already set up, so Karyn got to work on hers.

“Hey.”

A young man in a T-shirt waved to her. “Hey...Brian, right?”

“Yeah. Need some help with your tent?”

“No, it’s a pop-up. I just need to know where to put it.”

“Anywhere out of the way of the fire.”

The fire had not been lit yet, but Karyn could see the circle of stones where it would be. Opting for discretion and hoping to get some time with Derpy when she needed it, she put her bag down right where the campsite met the tree line. The tent did indeed come to full size with one twist of a rod, and all she had to do was pound stakes into the ground. After this, her next step was to slather herself in sunscreen and bug spray.

There were over a dozen people there by now, and a few of them were working on getting the fire started. Karyn walked over, but not knowing what to do she just stayed out of the way of the experts. She knew that that’s what she liked when she was working.

Even before it was lit, someone brought out a guitar and began a campfire song. Karyn joined in on this, and when they had enough voices that she would be noticed, so did Derpy.

When it was done, almost out of instinct, Karyn reached for her phone to look up the lyrics to the song. Once she turned it on, she saw the “No Service” indicator, and put it away. Then she wanted to check the time, so pulled it out again.

“You’re really attached to that, huh?” It was Brian again.

“Yeah,” she joked, “I’ll probably start going through withdrawal soon.”

So as not to seem too obvious, she hung by the campfire a few more minutes, but then stood up and walked back toward her tent.

“There’s no service in there, either.”

The first thing that occurred to Karyn was to say that she had a signal booster, but she wasn’t in the mood for arguing. “No, I just need to...are there bathrooms here or are we using the bushes?”

“Keep going along the path you used to get here. About a quarter of a mile.”

It gave her a perfect excuse, and once she was out of earshot, she whispered to Derpy, “He’s really not that bad, usually.”

“You’ve seen him before?”

“Yeah, he comes to the meetups a lot.”

“He probably likes you and that’s why he’s awkward. Hey, the bathroom’s over here.” They had reached the facility, but Karyn had walked around the privacy wall instead of behind it, and Derpy pointed her in the right direction.

“I don’t really need to go. I’m going back here so you can warp us to Equestria.”

“Huh? Something you need there?”

“There is.” Derpy asked no more questions but used her spell. Karyn didn’t recognize the place they appeared. “Do you know where we are?”

Derpy flew higher, then returned to their starting point, which gave her pegasus sense enough information to figure it out. “We’re about as far from my house as usual, but in the other direction.” During this, she was already gliding for home.

“I’m sorry, but I just needed to take out my phone without being called out for it.”

“But there’s no signal here.”

“I know, but there are some offline apps, like games or such. The same way you have on your computer.”

Derpy changed her direction. “I think you’re a little addicted to your phone.”

Karyn looked up. “Probably, but it’s not a dangerous addiction like drugs or alcohol. Unless I use it while driving, which I don’t.”

“Nonetheless, I think you should go back and put it away for today. Just to prove you can.”

“Can I at least check the time, since I don’t own a watch?”

Derpy thought about it. “No. I’ll go sneak looks at other people’s watches if it’s that important.”

“Well, if not that, can we hang here for a few minutes while I psych myself up to go back in among the bugs and nature?”

“You can, although your bug spray will probably wear off.”

“I’ll put more on.” Derpy landed out in a field and gave Karyn the time she needed. Normally she wasn’t like this, and Derpy reckoned that it was the combination of the unpleasant outdoors and the still somewhat unfamiliar people that was getting to her.

Derpy didn’t want to bother her, but since time wasn’t moving on Earth, it was just delaying the inevitable. She opened her mouth to say something, but Karyn, perhaps anticipating, went first.

“OK, let’s go back. Though be prepared to take me away again if I need it.”

They made their way back to Earth and back to the campsite. Karyn walked gently but not slowly, trying to avoid attracting attention.

But it was her attention that was directed to the fire where some of her friends seemed to be arguing. Karyn walked up. “What’s going on?”

“The barbecue lighter we have is out of juice,” one of them said. “We’ve got some matches, but we want to make sure we can start the fire again if we have to—“

“I’ll go into town and get one!” Karyn said.

“You sure? We were gonna do another sing and maybe play volleyball.”

“No, I’d love to help out. Anything else we need?”

That opened the floodgates, as it seemed everyone wanted a snack or supply that they’d forgotten and planned to do without. Without pen and paper, Karyn had to break her word and put it all on her phone’s note-taking app. Fortunately, everyone threw money at her with their requests.

Driving down into Riverside, Karyn stopped at the first convenience store she could find, parking in the street. Some of the campers didn’t have cars of their own, or even licenses, and they’d been impressed with her ability and generosity. It was only when she’d reached the register with all the stuff that she realized that Derpy hadn’t come in with her.

She didn’t go into panic mode, knowing that Derpy could always go home if necessary. It didn’t seem possible in a sleepy town like Riverside that anything bad could happen. After loading the car and feeling around in the passenger seat, she heard Derpy say, “Psst!” from a few yards away. It was the place next to the convenience store and Derpy was standing in front of it.

Normally convenience stores in her area had their own lots, but here it was part of a long stretch of shops, and the next one over was a craft store. It had a hand-lettered sign and looked as though it had been there for over a hundred years. Karyn tiptoed up and asked “What’s up?”

“There’s something important here.”

“What is it?”

“I can’t remember. I’m looking at this window trying to figure it out, but I know I’ve seen something here before.” Karyn joined her in looking. It didn’t seem like she owned anything the store would sell. It was filled with yarn and knitting needles, a few books, some finger paints, pens, paintbrushes, and some stationery just for odds and ends. The books had outdated fonts and, on closer look, were several decades old.

“They must not sell a lot of this. Look at some of this. Those envelopes have so much dust on them—“

“That’s it!” Derpy said in full voice, but there was no one else on the street. “That’s the envelope the letter came in. The one that we’re looking for the recipient!”

“Calm down. Are you sure?”

“I know mail. That’s the same style of envelope that the letter came in, I’m positive.”

Karyn looked up at the store. The windows were dark. “We don’t know that they’re exclusive to this store, but the letter was sent in this town, so it’s entirely possible.”

“We should ask them who bought it.”

“They’re closed, and the odds that they’ll remember someone who bought something twenty years ago...well, we’ve found a clue, and that’s the important thing. Come on, let’s get this stuff back to camp.”

They got back in the car, but both of their minds were on the new lead they had. From the start, Karyn had thought it a fool’s errand, but fate seemed to be stepping in for them, and for the first time she thought that they might actually deliver the letter.

When they reached the camp, daylight was waning and everyone was glad to see Karyn arrive with the barbecue lighter. The fire was fueled with store-bought wood and the fake logs they sold that burned better, and Karyn was happy for that since at least she would not be cold.

They sang a few more songs, but mostly at this point it was conversation, talking about news and current events, sports (which Karyn cared nothing about) and TV shows (which Karyn did care about, though she didn’t want to reveal too much with Derpy listening). Her status as a soon-to-graduate senior carried some weight with the other members of the group who went to her school, and she was asked about some of the upper-level classes and professors. When complaints about tuition and the quality of the campus food were shared, she was quite happy to throw in her lot. And although she didn’t have something to say to everyone, she felt like she belonged.

This worked so well that she didn’t need any of her planned trips to Equestria. Before she knew it, people were walking away from the campfire back to their own tents.

The really late stayers were those who defied the park’s rules and brought a few beers with them. Karyn didn’t really drink, so she excused herself and made for the tent. Once there, she huddled to one side in a sleeping bag and made room for Derpy. They felt free to talk again in low whispers.

“See, this wasn’t so bad,” said Derpy.

“You’re right, it was kinda fun. I don’t see why we couldn’t have done it in a restaurant or such, but iI enjoyed socializing.”

“Because you would have spent all the time on your phone.”

“Whatever.” Karyn rolled to face the canvas. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“Wait, I want to use a spell first.”

“Huh?”

Derpy was reaching for her saddlebag. “It’s a protection spell. Like a force field. It’ll make sure no animals get in here.”

“I’m pretty sure that the camp people have this area taken care of.”

“Yeah, but it’s still wild, like the Everfree. You won’t begrudge me some safety, right? I’ll have a hard time sleeping.”

Karyn nodded assent, though she was unhappy with the bright glow the spell gave off. If questions were raised, she would have to say she was on her cell phone again.

Between the sounds of nature, the remaining conversation, and the light of the campfire, Karyn found it hard to sleep. She let everything get quiet, then spoke in the abrupt way that one does when talking in the dark.

“I’ll stop by the craft store tomorrow on my way back and see if there’s anyone who knows about the envelope. Next week I’ll let you know.”

“Thanks.”

“You said this isn’t your first time camping?”

“Yeah,” said Derpy, her voice fully awake. “One time, with my father. He likes it a lot. It was further out than this, and it was just us. He let me stay up half the night, later than I ever had before.”

“That’s sweet. Hey, Derpy.”

“Yeah?”

“You remember that I said we need to make all our Sundays that we have together be extra fun?”

“Yeah.”

Karyn nestled herself in her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. “This was what I meant.”

Derpy let it drop at that, and Karyn began to nod off. It seemed to her that before she fell asleep she heard the zipper of the tent opening, and figured that Derpy might have to use the restroom herself.

When Karyn awoke, Derpy was gone, but she realized belatedly that she expected this. Monday was a work-day for her, as it would soon be for Karyn. There was mail to deliver. Her own classes, at the reasonable hour of one PM would give her time to drive home, shower, and dress; all while keeping her appointment with a shop in Riverside.

She rose and stretched, packing up her things as were the other campers. The one called Brian came up to her.

“How did you sleep?”

“Just fine.”

“I didn’t get a wink,” he said. “There was a deer or something prowling around the camp, scared me something awful.”

“Deer never hurt anyone.”

He was still shaking off fatigue. “No, it couldn’t have been, because it took off and flew. Actually, from its shape I think it was a horse.”

Karyn perked up as she realized what happened, but covered quickly. “You know horses don’t fly either. Perhaps it was a flying Bigfoot.”

“Ha, yeah. Well, I’m going home, get some sleep there. See ya.”

He walked off, and once he was gone Karyn felt free to shake her head and grin. She threw her bag over her shoulder and strolled to her car.

Author's Notes:

Chiroknu wanted to see the girls go camping. I don't like that much myself, but here you go.

Meanwhile, here's what you'll see in a regular chapter next week.

Derpy, being the first done, took her dish to the sink and began washing it. “I’m really not. Besides, you’re much smarter than me.”

“No way. You always seem to know what to do.”

“That’s experience, not brains. When you’re my age, you’ll know more than me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, then let’s get all this in so we can get back home and have fun.”

“Sure. Actually, I’ll make us some snacks and refreshing drinks first. Just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

Derpy put down the table. “Let’s have them in the kitchen.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Derpy finally understood. “Please, just let me help. I promise that I won’t say anything about how you keep it. I won’t even think anything. And I’ll do all the work.”

Standing up like a zombie from its grave, Karyn said, “I can’t let you do that."

Heading into the home stretch, not the time to miss a chapter!

Next Chapter: 141: Spring Derping Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 18 Minutes
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