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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human

by pjabrony

Chapter 121: 117: Keeping up a Traderption

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Derpy appeared in the apartment and, after checking Karyn’s face for any indication that it would be unwelcome, she flew to the window and threw it open. “Ahh! Now this is near perfect weather. If I didn’t know you didn’t have a weather team putting together days like this, I would say that whoever did deserved a bonus.”

“Tell me about it.” Karyn put sarcasm in her voice, but the combination of Derpy’s elation at the weather and her natural propensity for taking things literally caused her to miss it.

“Well, the late-season blooming flowers have finally released their scents and there’s just enough of a breeze to carry them around. That same breeze cools you down when the sun warms you. And there are just enough clouds in the sky that each one can get its own light and not reflect too much, so that they look more vivid and well defined than if there were more.”

“You’re right. A thoroughly beautiful day. And I can’t enjoy any of it.”

Derpy’s eyes and mouth went wide. “What?! Why not?”

“Because my job, in its infinite idiocy, thinks that it needs a tech support person around even on Sundays. Even though almost none of the regular workers are around, the top management like to work long hours. And so there’s a rotation of people on call. And even though I only have another week to go before I throw up the whole situation and prepare to head back to school, they decide that it would be a good learning experience for me to take my turn. I think it’s an excuse to give everyone else a day off.”

She felt better after getting it off her chest. Derpy was unused to seeing Karyn angry, but was glad to be her shoulder to cry on.

“See, and this is why you need to have pegasus weather control.”

The non sequitur brought Karyn out of her funk. “I don’t follow.”

“Well, if people knew that you were going to be indoors all day, they could have scheduled a storm for today. It could be all gray and rainy and hot and humid so that no one would want to go out, and then you could sit inside and feel good that you weren’t out. You could even have a lot of fun turning on the air conditioning until it got too cold, then turning it off until it got too clammy.”

“I could do that, even though I prefer it when I don’t notice the temperature.”

Derpy eyed the computer. “So what exactly are you supposed to do if you’re not actually at the office?”

“I have to just listen for the phone and pick up if it rings. And then do my best to solve whatever problem they talk to me about.”

“So you have to stare at the phone and hope it doesn’t ring?”

“Well, no. If the phone doesn’t ring, I’m free to do as I like. But I’ll need the computer in case I have to...you know what, never mind. I’ll put on a movie and we’ll watch it, and both hope the phone doesn’t ring.”

Karyn turned on the TV, but found nothing of interest on the cable that she shared with Gayle. To Derpy’s surprise, she moved around back and fiddled with some wires, ultimately tethering the laptop to the TV. With the press of a button, she extended her desktop onto the big screen. Then she hit a video sight and found a movie that she had remembered seeing and liking a long time ago, but couldn’t remember the details.

They were just getting into the first act when the phone rang. It rang in that way cell phones do, which annoyed Karyn. First it vibrated, giving her the momentary hope that it was just some background noise that would pass; then the screen lit up, but since the phone was upside down it cast its light in all directions; and at last it gave its ring, the piercing sound of a classic telephone that echoed in both of their ears.

“Karyn Hubert speaking,” she said into the phone as she paused the movie.

Derpy chuckled a little at how Karyn had changed her tone for the phone conversation. She was enunciating more, and also sticking in the “this could be a recording” pacing and timbre.

She listened to the one side of the conversation she could. “OK, you got the e-mail? And you have the attachment? What kind of attachment? A document. OK, what happens when you click on it? You can’t? Hang on, let me check the e-mail.” Karyn went to the screen and typed a little. “Yeah, there’s no attachment on there....I can see that it says there is, but maybe the sender forgot. I would ask them to resend it. You have a good day.”

She tapped at the smartphone’s screen, having to press the disconnect button twice before it registered and missing the satisfying thunk of an old phone being hung up.

Before she could click the screen to resume the movie, Derpy asked, “Do you get the same pay that you would at work?”

“Yeah, there’s at least that. We’ll do all right for ourselves this year, once I can spend some of this money I’m making. “

“Good, because I was going to say, it wouldn’t be fair otherwise. You’re doing the same job you would be if you were in the office, if I’m right.”

“Pretty much,” said Karyn. “And I’m not going to say anything about not deserving it. Not this time. That I should have to be confined to the house on a Sunday when you’re around means I should be getting overtime if anything. Even if we can sit back and watch movies, it’s still a limit on my freedom, and that bugs me.”

“That’s how it is when you work. Come on, turn the movie back on. It was just getting good.”

They got in a good hour of watching before the phone rang again. This time Karyn did not notice until the ringing interfered with the soundtrack of the movie. She put it on pause and brought the phone to her ear.

Once she’d gotten past the initial greeting and explanation, she turned her chair and faced the screen full on. She clicked windows and brought up information. Derpy looked over her shoulder once before things went over her head, and she laid back down on the bed.

It was a complicated troubleshoot. Karyn led the person on the other end down several blind alleys. She hadn’t gotten frustrated at the problem, but as Derpy heard the voice on the other end get sharper and quicker, Karyn’s own voice took a steel edge in response. She was no longer asking as many questions, nor was she explaining what she was trying as they went along. Instead, she had assumed direct control over the other person’s computer and was running some processes that Derpy couldn’t identify.

During one lull Karyn put the phone on mute and turned the movie back on. The process she had been waiting for finished and she lowered the volume on the movie. But it was all for naught as she was apparently getting the same error. Derpy scowled and wished there were some way she could help. She looked for an opportune moment to pause the movie again, but Karyn’s hands hovered over the keyboard so as to prevent her.

At one point she seemed ready to give up. Derpy heard her voice, as exhausted as it ever had been, saying, “Are you sure you can’t wait till tomorrow? There may be some easier way to do this that Leon or someone else could figure out. All right, I’ll keep trying.” More work followed, until at last she said, “Can you see it now? No, but can you at least see it? How about printing? All right, well, that’s all I can do now. Yes, we’ll look more tomorrow. Bye.”

She hung up and Derpy was sympathetic. “I didn’t understand, but it sounded rough.”

“It was. They keep on putting out so many different versions of software, and for everything they fux often times there’s something else that they break. So I had to kept trying different combinations of this software and that trying to find one that wouldn’t lock up. Well, I don’t want to relive it. Let’s finish the movie.”

“Well, I kind of kept watching while you were on the phone.”

Karyn looked at the screen. The logo for the video playing software filled the center, and the progress bar was at the right. “Phh. Never mind.”

Derpy contemplated whether to try to find where she had left off anyway, but she knew that Karyn had seen the movie before, and so it wasn’t that important. Instead, she said, “You know that I like learning about the computer and networks and such...”

“Yes, and you’re good at it.”

“But I’m really impressed by how you can get someone else’s screen on yours, in its own window just like that.”

Karyn looked back and closed the remote desktop session that she had open. “Yeah, that’s really useful.”

“More than that, it’s smart. I don’t think that, even if I had been around during the development of computers, that I ever would have thought of it.”

“Well, no one did except whoever invented it. I think it took off in the mid nineties, when most big networking was coming into its own.”

Derpy shook her head. “What I mean is, I would have figured that it’s impossible to get everything from one computer streamed through onto another.”

“I can see, that, but as technology improved, they realized that it—seriously!?” Karyn grabbed the phone as it rang for the third time.

Derpy held up her hooves, and Karyn understood. She let it ring twice more while she got herself together and returned her voice to a lower pitch. Thankful that video phones hadn’t caught on, she picked it up. “Karyn Hubert speaking.”

Once more Derpy was resigned to hearing Karyn’s half of the exchange. She strained her ears, but all she could pick up was muffled speaking.

“She did? Well, no, I couldn’t. You will? Great. No, I really appreciate it. Thanks. What? Oh, wow. You don’t have to do that. Bye.”

“Yes?” asked Derpy.

“That was Leon. The person who I just helped, or didn’t rather, called him.”

“To tell him how dedicated you were?”

“Ha! To complain that I didn’t solve the problem. So just like I told her over the phone, she could wait until tomorrow and he’d fix the problem, but no, that’s not good enough. So she has to make me look like I can’t do my job.”

Derpy was worried that this would set her off again. “What did Leon say?”

“He called her a nasty name and said that he would stick by me. I think he officially considers me part of the crew, free to exchange how much we don’t like certain users.”

Derpy didn’t understand the part about bashing users, but she did understand about cameraderie, and was pleased.

“He also said that he would handle the line for the rest of the day since no one usually calls after that time, so I can enjoy some of the day. After that it’s one more week until I can say my good-byes and get ready to go back to school.”

“Right. Your final year, and—wait a minute!”

Karyn raised her eyebrows. “Problem?”

“Get in the car! We have to go!”

“Go where?”

“No time to explain! Just go!” Derpy reached for her spell and was soon an invisible streak racing to the car. Karyn shrugged and followed. She didn’t hustle as much as Derpy had, but eased herself into the driver’s seat and put on her seat belt.

“Right, here we are.”

“Yes! Still stuck in the driveway. Ignition! Gear! Gas! Go!”

“I can’t know which way to go unless I know where we’re going.”

Derpy calmed down, but still spoke quickly. “Don’t you realize that every summer we’ve gone to the park?”

“The park? Oh, you mean the park by the lake out by where my parents live? Oh, Derpy, that’s a ways away and even if we started now...”

“We certainly wouldn’t make it if you don’t start now.”

Somehow, the logic that Derpy gave made Karyn start the car and pull out of the driveway, turning towards her childhood home. But still she argued. “I don’t see how you can call it a tradition when we’ve done it all of twice. For that matter, why has it got to be done in the summer? We’ll have plenty of weekends during the school year, and we could plan out a trip to the park if you like. We could even tie it in with a visit to my parents so that I can double up on the trip and not have to spend a tank of gas to get there.”

“I’ll make it up to you...somehow. It’s just that I have a very important connection to this world that came from there, and it would mean a lot to me if we could go.”

Karyn had recalled how Derpy had found her cat at the park the first time they had gone, but it hadn’t occurred to her just how much that meant. Derpy spent a day every week with her on Earth, and she always said how it was the highlight of her week. Getting to pet the cat or feed him during the week probably reminded her of her home away from home. Karyn let the car drop into fourth gear as they hit the highway.

By the time they arrived, the sun was low, but because of the trees of the park, they couldn’t see it directly. As they entered they passed a sign that said, “Park closes at dusk.” Karyn had never understood quite what that meant. At the first sign of darkness? When the last bit of the sun crossed the horizon? Whenever some park official thought it was time to go home? Well, it didn’t matter. Derpy was already dragging her around the lake, and Karyn had to jog to keep up. She couldn’t afford to lose contact with Derpy, or else it would be up to Derpy to find her.

The late August weather put the first hint of a chill into the air, but there was enough moisture that Karyn didn’t feel it. Still, with no blanket or chair, she didn’t feel comfortable lying on the grass. The field that they had found for privacy was barely needed, as the park was deserted.

“This really was a hasty trip,” Karyn said. “We didn’t have time to plan it out, get our picnic lunch, do anything like that. Was it really worth it, just to say we were at the park?”

“I think so. The good part is that we didn’t have to carry anything here, and we won’t have to carry anything back.”

“That is so. Unless you head into Equestria and bring something back. That’s kind of a tradition too.”

Karyn lounged on her elbow, keeping as little contact with the grass as possible, and watched Derpy. It was the one place where she could safely view Derpy in the outdoors of Earth. And while the sight of her in the dusty haze of the low sun was nothing to compare with the brightness of a flight in Equestria, it was still a rare sight, and she was glad they had come.

It took some time for the tension of their journey to be relieved by relaxing on the grass, and eventually Karyn gave in to her muscle fatigue and put her bottom down. It hit her that, come next summer, she would likely begin work full time, and might never have the chance to idly spend a day here at the park. It would be up to Derpy to keep the tradition. She would do it for tradition’s sake, but Karyn would come along so that she never lost her youth.

It was growing dark, and Karyn was all too conscious of the sign they had passed on the way in. She motioned for Derpy to rise and go invisible. They began their walk around the lake.

“It’s too bad that we can’t stay here longer,” said Derpy.

“Yes. There are parks where you can do that, some where you can even camp out all night.”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Staying late is good, but then I’d want to get back in the car and get home to a warm bed.”

Karyn smiled. “Yes, but we miss out on getting to see the sun go down, and we lose out on more time here.”

Derpy didn’t respond, and Karyn wondered if she had made a misstep. Then she felt herself being lifted into the air. The momentary rush of adrenalin gave way as she found herself in position on Derpy’s back. It was familiar, but being put there by Derpy shoving her head between her legs was not. Derpy then turned off the invisibility spell for a moment before reactivating it and extending it around Karyn, who was grateful they were alone.

They took off, and silently Derpy ascended until she lit on one of the thin and wide clouds that always seemed to come near the end of the day. After some banking and carving, she had a convenient place to lean against. Karyn, of course, had to stay mounted, but Derpy rolled to the side and let her dangle her legs off one side into the mist.

Then they had to do it all over again, since Derpy was facing East.

It seemed to Derpy that the sunset on Earth was darker, redder, somehow more melancholy than those in her native Equestria.

“Do you know?” said Karyn, “that there’s a kind of optical illusion that goes on with a sunset? That the sun physically goes below the horizon before we see it do so. By sheer coincidence, when we see the first part of the sun disappear, that’s actually when the last part of the sun is no longer on a line with the Earth. A science teacher told me that back in high school.”

“I wonder if I could see the part below the Earth.”

“If any eyes could, they would be yours.”

Derpy spent a long time trying to picture what Karyn was saying. Not only did she not have even a high school education in physics, but the sun was moved differently in her world. Finally she said, “If that’s true, does that mean that the sun slows down as it sets?”

Karyn was glad she was invisible, so she could grimace without being seen. “I...think so. It would have to, wouldn’t it? Yeah.”

“I wonder if Princess Celestia has ever thought of that. Just sort of brake as she lowers the sun. That could irk Princess Luna a bit, though. You know, this is the first time I’ve seen one on Earth. I might have to give them some pointers.”

By the time they were finished, true darkness had come, and for anyone who spotted the young girl walking to her car in the park outside the closed gate, it would only seem as though she had come out of the shadows. If they had spotted the pony visible for a second, that would have been harder to explain.

Behind the wheel of the car, Karyn started to regret that she would have to spend the long drive home, then get to bed late. She still had a week of work to do, and she wouldn’t be at her best for the Monday. No, she told herself. Don’t beat yourself up. Not until Derpy leaves. Focus on the good. “Sure was nice to see the sunset. I’ve never seen one from a cloud before.”

“I have, but not often. But we did watch one that time we went out to Sunset City.”

That touched at painful memories for Karyn, ones that she could not completely suppress as Derpy had. “That was right after I first met Dinky. Feels like a long time ago.”

Derpy didn’t respond, so Karyn just kept driving. They arrived back at the apartment where Derpy reappeared in the harsher glow of the LED lights that Gayle, ever the environmentalist, had installed. They made her blink, and it hastened her departure.

“This seemed like a longer day than it actually was. Of course, we basically did two things, which is rare.”

“You think?”

“Well, I mean, you worked, and then we went to the park. Usually we focus on either having fun or getting things done.”

Karyn nodded. “I’ll see you next week.”

“Actually, about that.”

“Yes?”

“I know you’ve been iffy about giving more ponies tours of Earth,” said Derpy.

“Yes, but if there’s a time to do it, it’s now. Why? Who wants to visit?”

“We just talked about her. Or you did. Dinky’s been saying that she wants to come visit her friend Karyn in her own home.”

“Well, that’s great news! If anypony’s welcome, she is!” Karyn knew that her week would be happier for the anticipation.

“I’m glad you’re on board. I’ll send her a letter to catch an early train.”

Derpy vanished, and Karyn started to think of preparations she would make.

Author's Notes:

So it looks like you can all see what's coming next week, right? WRONG! Because next week, I'll be giving you the first of the chapters based off of ideas submitted by fans. This one comes from benhamin5. And it will include this:

"Let me just check my mail.”

Derpy laid her head back on the pillow, but when she heard Karyn clicking away on the keyboard, she did a small crunch and looked up. “Oh, you mean your e-mail.”

“Yeah, sorry for the confusion."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No, I’m used to it by now.”

“Well, there are advantages to being invisible.”

“So what did you think?” Karyn pulled out of the parking lot before someone questioned why they were staying there so long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That would just be...well, it’s so unthinkable I can’t think of it.”

“You are playing this one on hard mode, aren’t you?” Karyn asked, but Derpy didn’t understand the gamer lingo.

“If everything else failed, I think I would try to use magic. But I’m a pegasus, and I do have certain abilities. I can fly, for one.”


Special thanks to benhamin5, and please come back to read it and see how well I do with other people's prompts!

Next Chapter: F01: Going Derpal Estimated time remaining: 11 Hours, 54 Minutes
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