The life of infant Howard Awesome Stark(1) followed a rather routine schedule. Early in the morning, he would wake up crying, hungry for mother's milk. A set of cyan hooves would immediately lift him up from his crib as his big sister would fly him to his Mother's arms, making funny faces the entire way for his entertainment. His favorite was when she waggled her face with her tongue hanging out while making nonsense noises. Once in his mother's arms, he would nurse his fill. His father would then burp him, talking about how big he was getting so fast.

After that, Howard rode his sister's back to the play area, where he bounced blocks and balls around the room with her. Occasionally, his blonde godfather(2) would come in and play with him, making his toy dinosaurs fight each other. "What a mighty warrior you are growing into being!" he would then declare. "Just like your Father!"

After that, he would spend some time with the jolly green giant, sitting in his gentle, massive hand as they rode around on the back of the real dinosaur that lived in the ocean in the basement. As he took in the sights as the great beast lunged around the buildings, he would laugh and clap his hands, never able to get enough.

Some time later, he would be hungry again, and the jolly green giant would take him back to his Mother for more nursing. The Metal Man would then take him. "Initiating gas expulsion procedure," he would say, lightly patting him on the back to burp him. "Chassis has suffered contamination, he would say if not everything stayed down, followed by, "Engaging cleansing process." Howard never got tired of watching the 'magic light' clean the Metal Man.

The Metal Man was also always nearby whenever Howard's diaper was soiled. Almost immediately upon Howard getting wet or stinky, the Metal Man would say, "Changing protocol initiated," and swoop in to begin changing the diaper. Generally, the Metal Man would have the dirty diaper off and disposed of, Howard's nether regions wiped clean, powder applied, and a fresh diaper on before Howard had finished trying to puzzle the meaning of protocol.

"Initiating play protocol," the Metal Man would then say. "Coochie coo."

The total monotone the Metal Man said that in always struck Howard as hilarious, and he would giggle uproariously as the Metal Man tickled him.

After another nursing, Howard would find himself in the arms of the quiet blue man. He would read to Howard, showing him the book and letting him play with it. Howard didn't quite grasp words yet, but he could tell the squiggles on the pages and the sounds the blue man made were connected based on how his finger moved.

Near Christmas, one-eyed Santa Claus would also stop by, complaining vociferously about the red suit right up until the moment when he saw Howard. Then he would Ho-Ho-Ho and scoop him up, blowing a raspberry on his belly to make Howard laugh. One-eyed Santa Claus showed up other times for similar interactions, but he only dressed the way he was supposed to around Christmas.

After another feeding and changing, and a full day of stimulation, Howard would then curl up to sleep through the night. His big sister, the cyan pony with the rainbows on her back, would curl up beside him, tucking him in between her wings. With a last kiss goodnight from everyone, he would sleep the night away, knowing tomorrow would be even better than today.

Sitting back after a full day of running the company, protecting the planet, being a family, and raising their infant son, Tony and Pepper sat back comfortably in bed, watching through cameras and via the baby monitor the slumber of their two children.

"We aren't so bad as parents, are we?" Tony said companionably, smiling at his beloved wife.

Pepper chuckled. "We have a lot of help," she pointed out.

"Most parents do, one way or another," Tony countered. "We do have a strange family."

Pepper sighed thoughtfully. "Tony, do you think this upbringing might...negatively affect Howard's upbringing?"

"In what way?" Tony asked, confused.

"Well...he's not exactly having a normal childhood," she replied.

"That depends on how you define normal," Tony countered. "It certainly seems normal to him. Besides, even without the Asgardians, the superheroes, and the pony sister, we're the one percent of the one percent. 'Normal' was never going to be in his lexicon. At least this way his weirdness and social awkwardness will come from who he knows rather than being a spoiled rich kid."

Pepper couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I suppose," she admitted. "But what about teasing? How is he going to deal with that? His name does leave the door open for it, right?"

Tony smirked. "And exactly how long do you think he'll remain a target for bullies when his counter for teasing that actually hurts his feelings is 'I'ma tell Hulk on you'?"

Pepper tried really hard not to laugh at the mental image of that poor bully's face. She really did. "As long as that doesn't get in the way of normal socializing," Pepper pointed out.

Tony lay back in bed. "I'm not worried," he said simply. "With everything he's got going for him, by the time he's in school he'll be the cool kid on campus. And Rainbow's stories of her own brief time in public school - and my own school stories - will help him recognize the difference between a real friend and someone just in it for his toys." He wrapped his arm around Pepper. "I know it's in your nature to worry, Pepper...but this time, everything really is under control. Howard may not have a childhood that remotely resembles 'normal' by the traditional definition...but it will be happy and healthy. I can guarantee that."

Pepper leaned into the embrace with a happy sigh. "I suppose you're right. ...I love you, Tony."

"Love you too, Pep," he replied, kissing her on the forehead.

They lay in silence for a time. "So how long until something happens to cause chaos all over again?" Pepper asked.

"I've got money on with Steve that it happens by Howard's third birthday," Tony replied without opening his eyes.

"As long as we're on the same page," Pepper murmured as she relaxed into slumber.

(1) Pepper would never live down agreeing to let Rainbow choose her baby brother's middle name.
(2) Thor was a good friend of the family after all, and Tony hadn't been able to resist the irony of Howard's godfather being an actual god, as far as mythology was concerned.