PROLOGUE: (Wait wait wait! Did you read the long description? Ohh you did? Great! Continue!) 

It was a sunny day. Then, bullets cam in my direction. Crouching, I yelled to my companion, Flashback, the Time Traveling Delorean. 

"Cover my rear!" I yelled. 

"I can't, I'm pinned down!" Replied Flashback.

"Well I guess it's every man for himself!" 

I raised my Ak-47, and fired upon the enemy. Those who were stupid enough not to duck, got instantly shredded. Then, the worst possible thing happened. 

*Click Click Click!* "Shit! I'm out!"

"Use your machete! I'm almost to you!"

I unsheathed my Machete, then charged. Taking a few bullets before I reached them, I started hacking. Flash came up to me and with his Spas-12, started blasting. 

"We are gonna make it!" 

Then, from afar, a person from an RPG took aim. Then I noticed him. It was too late when he fired. The whole thing happened in slow motion. I flew back, and hit the ground. Hard. Flash was trying to stand up, but he was down. He was already dead. Everything was going white. I was dead, he was dead, it was all over now. I worked so hard this life too...

I threw my controller down. 

"Damn it! We were so FRICKING close! This is the last time I'm playing FarCry 3 co-op with you?" 

Flashback only scoffed and said,

"Well it ain't my fault I was trying to save your ass! If I was still in my position, I could have revived you! But NOO.... You got overrun by a bunch'a berserkers!" 

"Next time, I'm playing with Skips!" 

I heard my phone rang from inside. We were at my pad, in Orlando FL USA. Just a simple 2 Story house. A real downgrade from my Penthouse up in Steelport that I share with the Saints, but you know, this little house reminds me of the 40's, when my wife and kids were alive.

"I'm too lazy to get that. Put it on speaker dude." 

My 38 year old companion, FlashBack said, "I got it. The caller ID says... New Mexico Gravel Co." 

"Bull! Who is it really from?" 

"Hacking... Wow this technology really sucks. They have a block wall from like the 70's. Ok, ID says... Builders League United? Oh... These guys..."

"Sweet! Another job! Answer!"

"Hello Mr. Dolphin. This is your employer. Blutarch Mann. I am going to require your services again." 

"What is it now? Kill more Mercenaries? Capture some control points? Steal some Intel?" 

"No, it's not like that this time. The only way to beat my brother at this point, is to completely destroy Reliable Excavation Demolitions, facility!" 

"And how are you going to do that?" 

"You see, my engineers have developed a incendiary device, capable of destroying an entire RED facility!" 

"So you want me to fly a B-17 over, and blow them up?"

"Not exactly. The bomb is the newest in cutting edge, bomb delivering technology. This bomb is to be delivered via cart." I got up, angry at the stupidity of these stupid gravel wars. 

"A freaking bomb cart? Are you freaking kidding me? You want me to lead a team to push this thing through countless lines of defense? That is the most retarded, stupid, and straight up bul-"

"Double pay." He said. He knew me well...

"Where's this going down?" 

"A facility code named, "Thunder Mountain", New Mex." 

"I'll be there! Out!" 

I was going in my house to get stuff, when Flashback said-

"Sir, look. I know your a Merc and all, but what's the honor in this? I get that you gotta make a living, but where's the honor in killing a bunch of stupid mercenaries? What happened to the glory days?" 

I thought about it. 

"There where no glory days. In war at least. I was drafted for some of them, I had no choice. Korea, Nam, and every other war I fought for the USA, Russia, and other contractors, they were either for pay, common good, or revenge. Yea, I enjoyed killing nazis back in WW2, but that was because I was ridding the world of filth. But more importantly, I had-" 

"For the love of time, please save it!" 

"I was actually going to talk about avenging my wife." Flashback looked away, embarrassed.

"My apologies. Preparing transport." I forgave him. Because I do rant about how the important WW2 was to me. 

I went up to my room, and got supplies. Ak, AA, Ar, SASR(M82A3), LAW, and Skorpion. Anything else? 

"Well I do need one of my specialty weapons." 

I walked into my gun hall, filled with weapons I got from previous history changing battles. I passed by many weapons, my Mosin from Stalingrad. My Springfield from the Pacific Theatre. My Tommy from DDay. My M-16 from Nam' with my helmet. Printed on that helmet, was "Born to Exectute." 

I opened another door, leaded to the "Special Ops" of the Cold War and Today. I decided, I haven't used my Commando in a while. It stood there with a collection of photos and docs behind it. I got this gun, when I helped the Seals to capture Dr. Mengele and his followers in Brazil. I thought of the amount of times someone said, "WTF?" On that day, the Soviets were carrying out the same operation, and sent the Spetsnaz. To nab him. It was a time for competition between the two countries, right? Funny day that was too. 

"This is a CLASSIFIED United States operation! You can't be here!" 

"HET! This is operation is now being completed by the USSR!"

I worked on both teams, so I had to stop the fire. After all, I had to stop the fire, cause' it's always been burning since the world was turning. (CUE MUSIC IN HEAD... NOW!) (And I am not breaking any rules with this reference, it's not the complete sentence!)

"How about we work to together?" 

"No! That's a terrible idea!" 

"Da!" 

Then a Seal spoke up.

"How about we just call this a joint operation, so we can just kill nazis while shooting in the same direction? We aren't exactly working together."

Everybody liked that idea. Even though it means the same DAMN thing. Back to today, I grabbed a pack of Monster and headed out. 

"Ready to fly!"

I popped a can, and said, "Lets rock!" As we I jumped in and we flew towards the sky. 

Mid-flight, I was watching a particular show. 

"Sir, why do you even watch that? It's for like, 4 year old girls!" 

He asked me this question often. 

"Flash, I don't know why I like this show. It's just like... I don't know, fulfilling? Pleasuring? Enjoyable? It just draws me in. I can't describe it, I just like it."

Pinkie Pie started bouncing all over the place on the screen. I grinned. 

"That show will make you as crazy as that horse. And those fanfics you read? What is up with those? Sleepless was weird, and what's that other one? Cookie Cakes?"

"It's Cupcakes you dummy. But I'll just say this. Don't hate, what you Don't understand." 

"Oh? And so this is your new policy? Well I'll just call up the Furries and tell them you changed your mind. Oh wait, YOU KILLED THEM." 

"I didn't understand them yes, but those bastards had it coming to them. They did something sick to me, so I blew up their little convention. It was for revenge." 

"Alright, so anyway, Kami- Do you think I could try out my new teleporter? I I still have some small bugs, but it should work." 

"Last time we tried that cursed thing, we ended up in Even Horizon." "That was awesome! What a weird dimension..." 

"Alright, start it up. And try not to blow us up." 

We flew for about 40 more minutes. 

"She's all charged up. We are already in New Mex, but we still have a ways to go." 

*FWOOSH!*

I was looking out the window, when a bright flash zoomed by. 

"What? Hey, did you see that?" 

"See what?"

*FWOOOSH!*

"That thing!" 

"I don't know!" 

"Look. I've spent enough years in Ghan' to know that was a RPG." 

"Well, my calculations say that we don't live in a country with a bunch of suicidal maniacs running around. Besides you and me of course." 

*FWOOSH!*

*FWIP!*

*FWOOSH!* 

"Where are we exactly?" 

"I shut down all of my non essential secondary functions like the GPS in order to have enough power to charge the teleporter." 

I got my phone out. 

*Boo Boop*

"Siri! Where are we?" 

*Boop!* "Earth."

"A little more specific?"

"Planet earth, a planet in the Solar System, 3rd away from the sun, in the Orion arm, in the Milk-"

"I mean on earth? Where are we on earth!" 

"Somewhere on Earth."

"Bitch!" 

I threw her out the window. I got my other phone. 

"Ok, Google Now! Where are we?"

"The southern area of New Mexico." 

I know this area...

"What is the nearest weapon range?" 

"The White Sands Missile Range. (REAL PLACE) Hours are 11AM-7PM. Last hour, happy-hour half at 6 PM. Admission half price. "Bring your own RPG" days are on Thursdays." 

Oh God no... 

"What's the date and time." 

"Thursday, 7pm."

Flash started laughing maniacally in relief. 

"It's all good kami! They were just firing their last few rounds."

Then Google cut on. 

"An error was made. I forgot to set my clock back for daylight savings time. It is 6PM." 

I opened the window, to see a blinding flash of yellow from below. 

"FUCK! Flash, use your targeting computer, to dodge these things!"

"That's also a secondary function!" 

"You dodge these things manually, but get that tele working! I'll try to shot these things down! Give me my AR!" 

"Arming!"

A tray came out with the AR-15. The TV was still playing MLP, even though it's a secondary function. He must have kept it on for me. 

"Get that teleporter working!" I said, climbing on the roof. 

"Teleporter goin' up!" 

"Shut up!" 

Blasting these things was not a easy task. We were moving fast, and these things were also moving fast. 

"She's at 98% percent! Alright, Destination, BLU industries HQ! Enter!"

The bottom of flashback started to spin in a blue haze. Lighting rippled across the roof. We were going to make it. Then a missile, longer than an RPG, but more sharp, came towards us. It was a stinger. It was on us, like hunter prey. 

"Teleport us now!"

But it was too late. 

*BOOM!!!! *CRACKAKAKRACKACK!* 

Smoke fumed from the insides. Sparks flew everywhere. Gasoline started spurting out, covering my arm in flames. Ouch. I got used to it though. 

"Flash! Get us out!"

The TV was still on. But it was going haywire. Electricity surged from it, and shocked both of us. A larger multicolored portal had came from the tele. It made a sphere around us. A view of BLU industries was visible. But the Toshiba had other plans. It shot a bolt of objection, changing the portals colors. 

"Kami..." -Groaned Flashback.

The pain must be unbearable for him. His voice was distorted. He sounded like GLaDOS. 

"If this is our final trip, if this is our final mileage, I want you to know, that I love you bro." 

"Same for me brother." 

He put his Window Wiper, (Those are his hands) in my fist. I gripped it. Then we crossed. I didn't recognize it, but the MLP theme song played, in a crazy, mixed up way. The portal was mixed up of rainbows and sunshine. Glitter flowed around us. A barrier of clear stuff, glass, was in front. We shattered through that. 

"What is this place?" 

"You know? I don't even know... I'll think I will just sleep..."

And as a bright new hole opened up, we blasted right through it. Everything was so bright. So bright, I went unconscious.

Next Chapter: Chapter 1: Where's my car? Estimated time remaining: 7 Minutes