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You Can't Spell Slaughter Without Laughter

by Tatsurou

Chapter 1: Promises

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Kratos stared down at the fallen body of Orkos, the Oath Keeper, son of Ares and the Fury Queen, his friend. At Orkos' request, he had granted the incapable warrior the honorable death he so desperately wanted. Kratos was of the opinion that the ancient yet young man had proven himself a warrior at heart, and had earned it.

With the death of Orkos, Kratos blood oath to Ares was broken, and the God of War lost all power to control him. But at the same time, the painful memories of all he had done - the murders of his wife and daughter, the dreadful slaughter he had done, all that had come of his dreadful ambition - rushed back into his mind. As he sank to his knees, he struggled to deal with the pain of his own actions, the weight of his grief.

As he kneeled there, shaking in pain, he noticed something odd. The life blood that flowed from Orkos' corpse did not follow the slope of the hill upon which his body lay. It flowed off the path towards the grass, seeming to shape an arrow. Kratos managed to shoulder his grief as he stood, following the path of blood. It seemed that there was something Orkos wanted him to see.

When he reached the end of the path of blood, he found a large crystal resembling those representing the blood oaths that Orkos had once kept as the Oath Keeper, only much larger. Stuck to the front of the crystal, near a fracture that led into it, was a scrap of parchment, with what Kratos recognized as a message inscribed by the Scribe of Hecatonceris, the madman imprisoned by the Furies who had kept such dutiful records to stave off his own madness.

The child within made no oath to gods, and yet found her way to the Furies' prison. As her oath was not one the Furies concerned themselves with, they left her untouched, with no torture save that which her own mind crafted for her.

Kratos' eyes widened. "A child?" he asked, shocked. "What child could be imprisoned as an oath breaker?" Moving to the fracture in the crystal, he saw it was too narrow for him to squeeze through. Gripping it with both hands, he struggled to force it open.

As the fissure widened, a voice called from within. "No! You mustn't! I cannot be freed!"

Kratos paused. That voice had been the voice of a child, a little girl. After his visions of the death of his own daughter, Calliope, which he had caused, that voice staggered him. After a moment, he managed to get himself under control. "It is alright," he said into the crevice. "What could you have done to deserve this?" He pushed the crack open wider, so he could see inside.

The interior of the crystal chamber was shadowed. All he could make out clearly was a head of crimson hair on a head turned away from him. "I broke my promise..." the little girl whimpered. "I broke my promise, and now they're all gone. It's...it's all my fault...all because I broke my promise...I have to be punished..."

Kratos closed his eyes in pain. That she should face such trauma, and blame herself...no one should force a little girl through that. He steeled himself to continue to speak to her. "So you will remain in here forever?" he asked. "Will you let your mistake destroy you?" In his urgency to help the trapped child, he unwittingly made himself realize some things about his own problems.

The head turned towards him, and pure blue eyes stared up at him through the crack, which fought his efforts to force it open wider. "But...what else can I do? I..."

Kratos shook his head. "You made a mistake," he said. "You broke a promise, and something bad happened. Do you plan to wallow in that for the rest of your life?"

The blue eyes tilted in thought. "What should I do?" she asked.

"You can go out and undo the wrong you have done!" Kratos said firmly. "I have wrought great wrongs from my own ambitions. The pain of those mistakes and their consequences plague my mind and heart. But I will not be beaten by them! I am Spartan! I am a warrior! What of you? Are you a warrior, or a worrier?"

The voice inside the crystal giggled. "Can't I be both? A warworrier? Or a worwarrior? Worwarworwarworwarworwar-" She broke off in another fit of giggles, her crimson hair seeming to lighten, becoming both paler and fuller. "That's funny to say."

Kratos didn't really see the humor, but he felt the need to encourage the child. "Yes, it is amusing. Not much amusement inside your prison here, is there?"

The eyes lowered. "No...but do I deserve amusement?"

Kratos struggled to push the crack open wider, but it fought him all the stronger as the weight of the child's despair seemed to increase. Inspiration struck him. "You failed to save some...wallowing will not make up for it! Work to save others instead, so that when you stand before Hades the weight of your mistakes is balanced by the weight of your deeds."

The eyes looked up at him. "Do...do you really think that will work?"

"I have to believe it," he replied, feeling the crystal start to weaken. He pushed it open a bit wider, enough to see the child smiling up at him.

"I...I don't know if I can alone, though," she whispered softly.

Kratos felt his heart sink as he heard the child's pain, so strongly echoing his own loss. "I will help you," he found himself saying.

The eyes blinked at him. "Promise?"

Kratos paused. The promise he'd made to Ares had gotten him into so much trouble, had brought about the deaths of those he cared for most...but Orkos guided him here with his death. He would not have guided him to more trouble. "I promise."

"A Pinkie Promise?" the child asked.

Kratos blinked, then chuckled. "I do not know this 'Pinkie Promise'. Will you teach me?"

The head inside the crystal nodded eagerly, her hair now bouncing with her motions as the crystal started to crumble around her. "It goes 'cross my heart'," she said, drawing an X over her heart. "Hope to fly," she continued, making flying motions.

Kratos released the crack in the crystal so his hands were free. "Cross my heart," he said, doing the motions, "hope to fly."

"Stick a cupcake in my eye!" the voice in the crystal finished, covering one eye.

"Stick a...cupcake...in my eye," Kratos echoed, covering one eye. "...what is a cupcake?"

Something bright and colorful with the consistency of cake was flung from the crystal to land in his hand. "It's dessert!" the little girl affirmed. "It's a really delicious sweet treat."

Smiling, Kratos took a bite of the pastry. The sweet taste assaulted his mouth, more delicious than anything he had ever tried. "Is this ambrosia?" he asked, thinking it was the food of the gods.

The child giggled as the crystal prison lost its luster. "No, silly. It's just a cupcake."

Kratos took another bite. "Too delicious to put in my eye," he muttered.

Another giggle echoed from inside the crystal before it shattered. A tiny pink equine with a poofy pink mane and tail and bright blue eyes looked up at Kratos, grinning from ear to ear. "Glad you like it!"

Kratos stared at the child - the filly - now that she was revealed. "You're...a pony?"

"And you're a human!" she replied happily. She bounced around him, looking him all over. "I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"

He stared down at her, somewhat confused. Despite many encounters with the various non-mortal creatures of Greece and the surrounding areas, a talking tiny pony was a little outside his experience. "Kratos," he said slowly.

"Kratos?" she asked. "That's a funny sounding name!"

He frowned. "'Pinkie Pie' sounds rather unusual to me."

"Fair enough!" she said happily, beaming from ear to ear. Raising a hoof, she scratched her chin. "Well, I've decided!" she said firmly.

"Decided?" he asked, somewhat nervously.

"You said I should work to save people," she pointed out. "I decided I'm going to start with you!"

Kratos blinked. "What can you save me from?" he asked.

Leaping up, she clung to one of his shoulders while poking his mouth with her other fore hoof. "Whatever's left you with such a firm frown on your face! I'm going to make you smile again!"

Krato shook his head. "I doubt if you'll be able to. There is too much pain in me..."

"Then I'll just have to balance that pain with as much joy as I can until you can smile again, right?" she asked, grinning widely as she looked him straight in the eyes.

Kratos looked at her for a while, then lowered his gaze with a sigh. "I have a lot to make up for, Pinkie Pie. The path I walk will be a dangerous one."

"Then I'll walk it with you," she promised. "And make you smile again one day." She dropped to the ground. "Cross my heart," she said, making the motions, "hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Actually flattening a cupcake against her eye on the last line, she then licked her face clean with an absurdly long tongue.

Kratos chuckled ruefully. "Alright. Keep up if you can," he said softly.

Pinkie Pie bounced around him happily. "I will!" she said eagerly.

He tilted his head. "How old are you, Pinkie?"

Pinkie took a deep breath and stuck her hoof in her mouth. As she blew on that forehoof, four finger-like protrusions slowly popped out of her other forehoof. "This many!" she said, wiggling the finger-like protrusions before they were reabsorbed into her hoof.

Kratos nodded. "Well, try not to fall too far behind," he said, turning to walk down the path, away from the place he once called home.

Pinkie Pie smiled widely as she bounced along after him. "It'll be nice to have a Daddy again!" she proclaimed happily.

Kratos staggered a bit, but kept walking. He had a lot to make up for. And maybe, over time, having Pinkie along would make it all...bearable.

Next Chapter: First Blood Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 31 Minutes
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