Before I start, I’d like to talk about Applejack’s last name in the last chapter. Just something stupid I thought of that I thought would be funny. Pomme = French for apple. Her accent was supposed to be from like Missouri or so I heard. Missouri = Part of the Louisiana Purchase, Louisiana Purchase = Ex-French Territory, my mind = stupid for thinking anyone who see the connection or get the ‘joke’. I’d also like to say that there will be a lot more ‘F’ bombs in this chapter. I apologize since usually when I get angry, I tend to drop it a little bit, so I’m transferring that same frustration into the characters. Now on with the chapter! To infinity, and beyond!

Celestia had brought Starry and Octavia to her chambers to talk to the two. When they had entered and closed the door, Celestia addressed Starry. “Alright, before I get to you Starry-“ She glared at her friend, then turned her attention to Octavia. “I wish to talk to Ms. Pie first.”

“Yes Princess Celestia?” Octavia asked Celestia.

“Ms. Pie… I know that this sudden change might be hard, but I need to know… Are you planning on keeping the child?” Celestia asked Octavia bluntly.

Octavia sighed and looked down. “I do not know your highness, it is still too early to decide yet. Part of me says to keep the child, while the other half tells me to get rid of it so that I may continue with my career.”

Celestia nodded, understanding. “Very well Ms. Pie… You may go now.”

“Yes your highness.” Octavia addressed Celestia and began to walk to the door when Celestia stopped her.

“And Octavia?”

Octavia was surprised to be called her first name by the princess, but replied nevertheless. “Err, yes your highness?”

Celestia looked back at Octavia and smiled. “You can just call me Celestia, there’s no need for the officials.”

Octavia was stunned and didn’t know what to say. “B-But your highness! To not show respect is to-“

“That’s quite alright Octavia.” Celestia said her name again. “You are dear to my ‘nephew’, and I also suspect that my sister also enjoys her company with you, so there is no need to be official when not in public.”

Octavia smiled and nodded. “Yes… Celestia…” She then turned back around and left, leaving Celestia and Starry in the room alone.

Before Celestia turned her attention back to Starry, she sighed, then addressed her. “Starry, what are you doing?”

“I have no idea what you mean Celly.” Starry said with an innocent smile.

“Don’t play dumb Starry.” Celestia said in an angered tone. “Why did you send my sister and Fiery to Earth without consulting me about it?”

“Oh Celly, if I had done that, would you have really let me do it?”

“No! No I wouldn’t have because it’s a stupid idea!” Celestia yelled at Starry.

“Which is exactly why I-“ Starry began but was cut off by a new voice that was knocking on the door.

“Sister? Can I talk to you for a minute?” It was Luna.

Celestia looked at the door, then to Starry, confused. “Didn’t you say-“

Starry facehoofed. “Crud, I must’ve seen too far and thought I did it…”

Celestia sighed. She then replied to Luna. “Yes, Luna, you may. Come in.”

Luna walked into the room expecting to be alone with her sister, but was shocked to see Starry there. “Oh, Starry! I didn’t know you were here.”

“Sorry Luna, I needed to talk to her real quick before she retired for the night. What do you need sister?”

“Oh, sorry about this Tia, um…” Luna had hesitated, uncomfortable with Starry there. “Do you mind if I stay until she leaves, then ask you about advice?” She said with a smile.

Celestia sighed again. “Very well Luna…” She turned back to Starry and addressed her friend once more. “Starry, can you tell me what exactly will happen to Fiery?”

“Wait, what is this about Fiery?” Luna asked.

Celestia sighed once more and addressed her little sister. “Starry had the absolute bright idea of sending Fiery, her own son, back to Earth.”

“What?! Why?!” Luna nearly screamed.

“To tell the other human about our plans and bring him back… She was also planning to send you there to help him. It seems she forgot to do that though.” Celestia answered her sister.

“Starry! What were you thinking?!” Luna asked her friend.

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out Luna. Or at least trying to figure out everything that she’s up to that involves my subjects.”

Starry sighed. “Look, Fiery is an intelligent stallion, he won’t need our help. He’ll go there, tell the human about what is needed of him, the human will agree, we go to pick them up and bring them back. In and out, just like that.”

Celestia sighed again. “And did it ever occur to you, Starry, what might happen if Fiery mistakes not only his past pony life, but his current pony life as well, as one huge dream?” Celestia asked in a serious tone.

Starry became wide-eyed and then her pupils dilated as she realized the obvious. “Oh…”

Both Celestia and Luna facehoofed. Celestia then addressed Starry once more. “That’s enough Starry, just go…” As Starry nodded and left the room, Celestia finally switched her attention her younger sister. “So Luna, what do I owe the honor?”

“Actually Tia, I came wondering about if you could tell me…”

“Yes little sister?”

“If you could tell me more about…”

“About…?” Celestia asked this time in an annoyed tone.

“How to pleasure a stallion more?” Luna asked shyly as she blushed up.

Celestia became wide-eyed, but then facehoofed herself and sighed. “Luna… I really don’t think I’m the pony you should be asking about such a thing…”

“Why not? You have 10,000 more years on me!”

Celestia had enough sighing for one night. “Very well Luna, but I won’t tell you. Instead, I’ll show you.”

“W-Wha?” Luna said as she thought her sister was about to violate her. But instead of violating, Celestia only hovered a book over to her little sister. “W-What’s this?”

“It’s a book on many ways you can please your stallion.”

Luna looked down at the book, the cover being completely blank, and thanked her sister. “T-Thank you?”

“It’s no problem. Now, run along sister, and go read that book.”

“O-Okay sister…” Luna used her magic to hover the book as she left her sister’s room.

Back in the room, Celestia smiled, and began to laugh a little to herself. “My little sister is growing up alright…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke the smell of grass and something I hadn’t smelled all week. Gasoline. I opened my eyes, the sun shining directly into my eyes as I opened them. “God damnit Celestia…” I muttered to myself as I put my hoof over my face, trying to block the sunlight, but something was wrong… As I said, I hadn’t smelled gasoline for over a week, so why was I smelling it now? Well, it would make sense considering what I saw made my eyes go wide.

Instead of my hoof that I was suspecting of being there, was instead a hand. Not a hoof, but a human, fleshy, hand. I was about to scream from the shock when I heard someone else scream in horror. I looked over to where the noise was coming from, and saw a woman standing there, covering her kid’s face, when she began to yell at me. “Don’t you have any shame?!”

Shame? What the hell was she talking about? I looked down at my body, my 6’ 1” normal built body, to see that I was naked. No clothing, just my bare body. “Fuck.”

The woman with the kid immediately began to run away with her child using one hand to hold him, while using her other hand to dig through her purse, trying to find her cellphone. She was maybe ten yards away when I heard her dialing 911. “Hello? Police?”

‘Fuck, not good, not good!’ I immediately got up and began to run away from the person. I had no idea where I was, or why I was a human again, but all I knew was to get the hell out of there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After finally getting away from the lady with the kid, I had calmed down enough to take in my surroundings. I was definitely on Earth again. Was the whole Equestria thing a dream? Or was it real and that’s why I’m naked? But why would I be back on Earth in the first place? Whatever the cause, I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk around with a ding-a-ling flapping about in public, so I knew I had to wait until dark to get back to my apartment. Hopefully Patrick will be there.

I stayed in the shadows the best I could, or get into some bushes, trying to find someplace someone wouldn’t find me in. I took in my surroundings, seeing if I could tell where I was so it would be easier to get back. As I was taking in the surroundings though, I hadn’t noticed the police cruiser that had gone by.

The next thing I knew, the cops had seen me (apparently I had my ass sticking out of one of the bushes they drove by) and arrested me for public nudity. Alright, I can give them that one, though I have no idea why I’m naked in the first place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luckily at the police station, I told them everything I could tell them about what I could remember over the past week (except the whole Equestria thing, you know, not wanting them to think I was high on some sort of drug or something). I was lucky, because I was apparently really missing for an entire week and I was back in my old college town. This meant one of two things.

Either A) Equestria really is real and for some weird ass reason I was sent back to Earth without being told why or B) I somehow got extremely high for an entire week and had one hell of a trip during that week. I was gonna go with A, considering I at least knew that there’s no way you could be high for an entire week without feeling something afterwards. They took some of my blood anyways to see if I took any drugs, trying to bust me.

They told me that I was going to have to wait in prison for at least one to four days for the blood test to come back, all while waiting for my hearing. Told me I could spent up to a year in prison for streaking and being put on a sex-offender’s list, as I had learned before anyways thanks to college. Fan-fucking-tastic. Luckily I knew my rights and was able to call Patrick’s cellphone. It kept ringing and ringing… No answer. Fuck again. Luckily, I left voicemail telling him where I was and needed him to come bail me out.

I waited for maybe five hours in that cell, with nothing but a blanket the cops gave me, all while they interrogated me about what I was doing. They knew they couldn’t bust me for drugs just yet, because they didn’t have any proof, and all I did was technically wake up naked in the middle of a park.

After the five hours in that cell, Patrick had finally come with bail, but something odd hit me in that cell. Patrick had told the cops something at that precinct that caused them to drop all charges against me. Why? What did he say that would make them drop the charges? Whatever it was, you could easily say Patrick was pissed when he saw me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We were on our way back to our apartment in campus town, clothed thanks to Patrick bringing some of my clothes back, all while being completely silent. The entire car ride felt awkward, Patrick not saying anything, not even yelling at me. If Equestria really was fictional and such, then that means I fucked up big time.

Now usually I don’t get arrested… At all… But for some reason I could tell that we weren’t heading to our apartment. I broke the silence. “Where are we going?” I asked in a casual tone.

“We’re going to meet somebody.” He replied to me, still pissed.

“Oh? Who’s that?” Patrick stayed silent. I asked again. “Who is it Pat?” Still silent.

As we stopped at a red light, I unbuckled myself from the car. “What the hell are you doing?” Patrick asked me.

“If you don’t tell me who we’re going to meet, I’m getting the fuck out of this car and I’m going to hitch a ride back to the apartment if I fucking have to. Now tell me, who the fuck are we meeting Patrick?” The light turned green and Patrick started to drive off, still not answering my question. “Damnit Patrick, I swear to God I’ll fucking jump out of this car if you don’t fucking tell me! Now who the fuck are we meeting?!”

“Your dad!” He finally admitted to me.

“What?” I asked him, not sure if I had heard right.

“Your dad! Alright? When you disappeared your mom had gotten in contact with your dad and he asked me to help find you! When I did I was suppose to bring you to him, that’s why I took five hours to get to the police station and was able to get you out!”

I looked at Patrick, then out of the window, my face showing confusion. I finally looked back at Patrick. “What the fuck are you talking about?! The police wouldn’t fucking let you go if I said to them that your dad wanted to see you!”

“That’s because my dad isn’t your dad!” He yelled at me. “Now put your fucking seatbelt back on before you fucking kill yourself.”

“Why Patrick?” I asked him as I put my seatbelt back on.

“Why what?” He asked back.

“Why the fuck would you bring me to see my father? I haven’t seen that mother fucker for almost 17 years, so why the fuck would you think I would to see him now?!”

“Because he asked me to, okay!”

“Because he asked me to, because he asked me to.” I repeated to myself as I threw my hands up in the air. “Why the fuck should it matter if he asked you? You’ve been my best friend since fucking kindergarten! We’ve fucking done everything together! Never lied to each other!-“

“That’s not entirely true.” He interrupted me.

“… What do you mean?” I asked him.

“You remember Stacey?”

I sat there thinking for a second before finally answering. “You mean the girl I was dating back in high school? The one who I caught cheating on me?”

“Yeah.”

“What about her?” I asked him.

“I… Might’ve slept with her once… Or twice…”

“… She was a fucking whore to begin with! Who gives a shit?!” I yelled at him. “She could’ve slept with the entire fucking senior class for all I care! That still doesn’t mean that you don’t know what that fuck he did to me and my mom! Why the fuck are you taking me to him now?!”

“Like I said, he asked me to!”

“That isn’t a fucking reason Patrick. What the fuck are you hiding?” I asked in a much calmer voice.

“I thought you, out of all people, would know Joseph.”

“What are you talking about?” I said in an annoyed tone this time.

“He’s a politician! He’s a national politician!” He finally admitted. It finally hit me.

I put my hands over my face and groaned. “Oh my god, you’re fucking sucking up to him!”

“Well sorry for thinking long term Joseph! He’s successful enough that he has important ties in Washington!”

I threw my hands up in the air again. “Great, fucking great. My best friend. My best fucking friend since I was in kindergarten, fucking sells me out for his own selfish needs. Thanks Patrick, thanks a fucking lot.”

“I’m sorry alright! Besides… You never know. Maybe after seeing him after so long might do some good…” He tried apologizing.

“And to think here you’re supposed to be with me in Equestria…” I muttered to myself. Seems that all Patrick heard me say was ‘Equestria’.

He gave me a smirk and laughed a little. “Equestria?”

‘Fuck, how the hell am I suppose to play this off?’ What I head next though surprised me.

“I never knew you were a Brony Jojo…” He said in a cheerier mood, trying to lighten up the intensity in the car.

I looked at him with a confused look on my face and asked. “What the flying fuck is a Brony?”

He looked at me as though he thought I was kidding. “You’re joking right? You know of Equestria but you’ve never heard the term Brony?”

“Yeah? And?”

He could tell I wasn’t joking. “How the hell could you know about the country in My Little Pony but not know about Bronies?”

“Waaaaait waitwaitwaitwait… What’s this got to do with anything about a toy line meant for little girls?” I asked him seriously.

He hesitated a bit. “Uh… Y-You see, there’s a show and-“

“Oh Jesus Christ, my best friend watches a fucking cartoon for little girls!”

“Hey! If it’s so bad then why do you know something about it? Huh? What about that?” I stayed silent. “Well?”

“If I told you you’d probably put me in an insane asylum…”

“The US doesn’t have insane asylum’s anymore Joseph, you know they’re outlawed.”

“Mental hospital, whatever, you know what the fuck I mean. So what the fuck is this thing about Bronies?”

He stayed silent for a while before answering. “Well, I guess since we still got an hour before we get there-“

“An hour? Where the fuck are we going? We’ve been driving for fifteen minutes already.”

“To the Champaign Country Club. Your dad wanted to meet us there.”

“The Country Club? That’s only on the other side of Champaign, that shouldn’t take us more than about twenty minutes. Thirty if the streets are busy.”

“Well, I’m taking my time, alright? Take in the scenic route.” He said in an annoyed tone.

“More like wasting time…” I muttered under my breath. I turned back to face him. “So are you going to tell me about this whole Brony thing or not?”

Patrick gave me a sigh. “Alright… I guess I can tell you…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you can probably guess, it took Patrick about thirty minutes to explain to me about the whole Brony thing, how it became popular on the internet, some website called Equestria Daily or some crap like that, finally ending on telling me what other shows and movies this Lauren Faust person apparently worked on. “So that’s ‘My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic’… Understand now?”

“God damnit…” I muttered under my breath.

“So how do you know of Equestria if you’ve never even heard of the show?” He asked me.

I stayed silent for a few seconds before answering. “I’ll tell you after I meet the old mother fucker and punch him in the face.”

“Joseph, I know you’re pissed at him, but if you really do assault him the only person to get you out is him, which I doubt he’ll do. Now, why don’t you want to tell me?”

“… I don’t know how to explain it…”

“Bullshit, you know exactly how to tell me, you just don’t want to.”

“Exactly… Just give me some time, alright?” I asked in an annoyed tone to him. He nodded and agreed.

“Alright… I’ll do that…” We stayed quiet for the rest of the car ride as Patrick got there faster, deciding to not take the scenic route.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we pulled up to the rich country club, there were apparently news crews there waiting for us. “Why the hell are there news people here? Did somebody famous just die here or something?” I asked.

“They’re probably waiting for us.”

“Why?”

“I’m sure your dad wants to make a huge event about finding you or some shit like that. Make people feel bad for him for his next election.” Patrick told me. I knew it was too good to be true to just go in and kick the shit out of the bastard.

“Fine, I guess we have no other choice then… How the fuck are we suppose to get through?” Just then, some people, bodyguard looking type, were walking up the car, presumably to escort us inside.

“Them.” Patrick said as he pointed to the people.

One of the bodyguards opened my door and waited for me to step out. I hesitated at first, but I knew I had to get this over with. I stepped out of the car and the news people immediately began to ask me questions about where I had been as the bodyguards held them back.

As we went inside, I saw the bastard. The same 6’ 2”, brown hair, green eyed bastard who left both my mom and me 17 years ago. Stephen Noble…

I was able to walk up to him, and as he got closer, he put his hand out, waiting for a handshake. Of course, anything to make himself look good. I completely ignored it and just stood next to him, making him know that no matter what he tried I was never going to forgive him. Even if he wasn’t my biological father, and even if she wasn’t my biological mother, they were the people who at first took care of me, until he fucked it all up, but you all know that story already.

He went up the microphones and started to speak. “I’d like to say that I invited you all here today, because after 17 long years, I finally found someone that I’ve been searching that entire time-“

‘Yeah, searching my ass.’

“My son, Joseph Henderson!” The press began to clap as I was forced to stand next to him by the microphones. Again, he stuck his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. Once again, I hesitated to do something in favor of the bastard, but I gave in as I shook his hand. He ended up grabbing me in for a hug while the press took pictures.

As the press took pictures, I whispered into his ear. “Tell me one god damn reason why I shouldn’t kick the living shit out of you for what you did to me and mom.” He whispered back.

“Because there are ten bodyguards surrounding us who could arrest you in a matter of seconds.” Bastard and his bodyguards…

As we broke the hug off, he began to answer the presses questions and such, answering questions he didn’t know the answers to, while I stood there like an idiot for an hour, doing nothing but breathing. Finally, after answering all their damn questions, the bastard turned his attention to me and brought me to the airport with him and Patrick so we could fly up to Chicago and go his over-the-top mansion in the rich suburbs.

After a flight of something like an hour or so of Patrick sucking up to my ‘dad’, yeah, right, ‘dad’… We had gotten into a limo and drove to his house where I met his other family.

Trophy looking wife, wasn’t even the blonde that he cheated on with mom, daughter that was seven years younger than me, and another daughter that was probably seven or eight, all looking like freakin’ Barbie dolls. Why he was introducing me to them I haven’t gotten a clue, probably wants to make up the mistakes he’s done in the past or some shit like that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yep, just what I thought. After eating dinner with his family, all while they tried prying information out of me about my life which I didn’t tell at all, the old man tried to talk to me in private in his study.

I will admit, as we were going through the halls of his mansion, it was a pretty nice place… Though I’ll also admit I liked the Canterlot palace a lot more, but that’s probably because it wasn’t owned by this asshole.

He took me out onto a balcony of sorts, looking into what I guess was the Chicago lights in the night. As we got outside, I looked up to the moon, and the first thoughts I had were of Luna… Luna, how I miss you right now… But I guess this is my life now.

Just then, my thoughts were interrupted by the old man. “Son-“ He started. “I know you hate me for what I ended up doing all those years ago.”

“Really? I didn’t even notice you were gone.” I came back with, trying to make him feel as bad as possible.

He sighed. “Joseph… I know I fucked up alright? I know I haven’t seen you for over a decade but… I want to make it up to you.”

“And how do you propose to do that? You haven’t done anything for my entire life (Not even my real frieken dad if that’s the truth, which I’ve yet to figure out). You left me and my mom when I was only four. How do you think I would feel when you suddenly come back into my life this entire time?”

“I know, alright? I just… I just want to make it up to you somehow…” He then pulled out a cigarette from his suit and started to light it. I looked over to him and eyed the cigarette.

“Well you can start by giving me one of those.” I said to him, as he looked back at me surprised.

He took the cigarette out and began to play with it in his fingers. “You smoke?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, haven’t had one for what feels like weeks. Better than buying over-priced medicine to calm me down.” He chuckled a bit at that last part as he handed one of the cigarettes and lit it for me. As I took a hit of it and let the smoke out through my mouth, I asked him some more. “So when did you start playing the Washington game?”

“About ten years ago, that’s when I met Debra.”

I looked at him with a questionable face. “Ten? The older daughter-“

“Bethany, and yes, I know what you’re thinking. But just like you and your mother, she was a product of a failed marriage as well…”

“So she’s not-“

He shook his head no. “No, she’s not… Only Britney is my child… We agreed to wait a few years, try to see how successful I could be and such before having a kid. Turns out it wasn’t long.”

A few years before having a kid, huh…? That’s when my thoughts went back to Octavia and if she was pregnant with my kid. I started to wonder how long dad had waited with my mom before having me. That’s when I decided to ask him after taking another hit. “Hey Stephen?”

He laughed a little bit. “You’re not going to call me dad, are you?” He asked me, I shook my head no. He chuckled a bit more before answering me. “Yes son?”

“I want to know… How long did you wait with mom before trying for me? Did you think you were ready at all when mom got pregnant?”

He looked stunned at the question but answered nevertheless. “I don’t know why you want to know but… No, I really wasn’t ready for you, but your mom didn’t want to get an abortion… We had found out about it shortly after the wedding when your mom began throwing up on our honeymoon.” He started to chuckle some more remembering the memories of him and my mom. “We did our best to enjoy it, your mom not giving up on trying to enjoy herself but, she just couldn’t stop having morning sickness every single day. It wasn’t that big of a deal for me, but your poor mom… Man, when I think back on it now, that had to be one hell of a ride for her…” He finally stopped chuckling to ask me. “Why do you want to know Joseph?”

I don’t know why I did what I did next, but I confessed to him. “For the past week, I don’t think I was really missing…”

He became confused. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I was on this planet, not even in this universe…” He began chuckling a bit, thinking I was kidding. That was when Patrick was walking by the balcony and overheard us a bit.

“Hey Jojo-“ Patrick started, getting my attention as well as Stephen’s. “You mind if I ask you-“

I nodded my head. “Sure Pat… I was actually getting ready to tell my dad as well.”

Patrick looked at me confused as well. “Your dad? What does this-“

“Come here and it’ll make sense.” I told him. Patrick nodded and walked over, leaning against the railing of the balcony on the other side of me.

“So what’s this about you not being on this planet or even in this universe son?” Stephen asked me, making Patrick confused more.

“Patrick?” I asked my friend, getting his attention.

“Yeah Jojo?”

“Ask me some questions about that show you were telling me about.” I asked him.

“You mean the newest My Little Pony?” He asked. I nodded my head.

“Wait, you mean that show that Britney forces me to watch every Saturday when I’m here? Friendship is Magic?” Stephen asked us. I nodded my head again.

“What’s this about you being on a different planet?” “What’s got to do with a cartoon?” They asked me at the same time.

“Just ask me about the damn show!” I yelled at Patrick, who flinched at me yelling. “And if you know about the show Stephen, don’t fucking answer! It’ll all make sense, alright?!” He also nodded, surprised at my sudden outburst.

“Alright…” Patrick started. “What do you want me to ask you?”

“I don’t know.” I said in an irritated tone. “Ask me what town they live in, or what ponies live there.”

“Alright, alright.” He said in a defensive way, trying to calm me down. “… What town do the ponies live in?”

“Ponyville, next.” He looked at me, surprised.

“Okay… Who are the Elements of Harmony?”

“Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. Next.” I commanded him again. Again, he looked at me surprised.

“That’s right… Are you sure you haven’t seen this show?” He asked me, not sure if I was just fucking with him the entire time.

“Not a single second, now next question.” I commanded him again.

“What’s this got to do w-“ Stephen started, but was stopped as I put my finger in front of his face, telling him to stop.

“Next question Patrick.” I commanded my friend a third time.

“Alright… Alright, who are the princesses, and what do they control besides the country? And for extra points, which one was the villain in the first season?”

“Princess Celestia who controls the sun and Princess Luna who controls the moon. I guess Luna was the villain because something called the Nightmare took over her body, but Celestia made it seem like she changed because of jealousy so their names wouldn’t be tainted in the future, with the whole being allowed to be taken over by evil thing.”

They were both shocked. “Y-You’re somewhat right about the villain part…”

“What am I wrong about it?” I asked Patrick seriously.

“T-There’s nothing proving that there is a nightmare, she-“

“Not in the cartoon I guess, but… But in Equestria, it exists…” I muttered the last part as I took another drag of my cigarette.

Both of them stayed silent for a while, but then Stephen spoke up. “So what’s this got to do with-“

“I was there for the past week.” I announced to them.

“Wait, what?” Patrick asked me.

“I know this sounds crazy but… I was there for the past week… I was a pony for an entire week in Equestria meeting the princesses and all that…”

“A-Are you sure you-“ Stephen was asking but I interrupted him.

“I’m sure I wasn’t taking any drugs. Sure, I was drunk the night I went there, but being drunk doesn’t happen for an entire week unless you’re constantly drinking. And we know what happens if you do that… No, I was there for a week. Making both friends and enemies…”

It was then that they had broken out of their shocked state and began to laugh, thinking I was kidding, all while I stayed serious, smoking my cigarette. It was then that Patrick saw my serious face and asked. “You’re being serious, aren’t you?” I nodded my head.

“So wait, you were asking me about me being ready for a kid because-“ Again, Stephen started but I interrupted as I nodded my head.

“Yeah, because I may have knocked one of them up.”

“Oh sure, and which Element did you do it with, huh?” Patrick asked me jokingly, thinking I’d answer with one of their names, but was shocked when I didn’t.

“It wasn’t an Element… It was Octavia…”

That’s when Patrick’s face became serious again while Stephen still thought I was kidding. “Wait, you mean the background character from the ball? The-“

“Grey earth pony mare with the black mane and tail and purple treble clef? Yeah.”

Stephen was still laughing but was interrupted as Patrick could tell I was being serious. “Wait a minute Mr. Noble, I think he’s serious. Joseph… Are you really telling us that you really were there? Are you sure you weren’t high somehow?”

“I’m sure I wasn’t. It all felt way too real…”

“Oh come on Patrick, don’t tell me you really believe all of this.” Stephen joked with my friend, still not believing me.

“I’m sorry Mr. Noble, but how do you explain it?”

“He was tripping balls, easy.” Stephen answered.

“Patrick?” I asked my friend again.

“Yeah Joseph?”

“… Was my laptop still back at apartment?”

“What’s your laptop got anythi-“ Stephen still not believing me was asking but was interrupted by Patrick this time.

“No, it wasn’t… It had disappeared a few days ago. I had no idea how, but somehow I thought it was stolen, but the thing was is that I was in the room the night it was stolen, and you know how lightly I sleep.” I nodded my head. “… Where did it go?”

“Celestia brought it to me as a present…” I answered.

“So someone stole your laptop, doesn’t mean a pony from a cartoon stole it. And Patrick, I’m surprised you believe such dribble.” Stephen commented, but I snapped right back.

“Then how do you explain everything then? I go missing for a week. I can’t recall a god damn thing except being in that fantasy world. The night my laptop goes missing, is the same night I get it. I know a lot about a cartoon I’ve never even heard about until today. How do you explain all of that Stephen?”

“Easy, you stole your own computer and watched the show there while believing you were really there.” He answered.

“Really? Then what about everything I experienced BEFORE I got my computer? How was I there BEFORE I got it?” I asked him seriously. He couldn’t come back that time.

We all stayed quiet for a while before Stephen spoke up. “So if you really were in this fantasy world, how did you get there?”

“I thought you didn’t believe in fucking fairytales?” I commented bitterly.

“Alright, alright, I was wrong, okay? Just tell me how you got there…”

“Why? So the US can fucking invade there as well? You really think I’m that fucking dumb?” He stayed quiet. “Besides… I don’t know how I got there… It was Celestia who brought me there…” We all stayed quiet until. Then, I ended up trying to do something. I had finished my cigarette a while ago, but asked Stephen. “Give me another cigarette.”

As he got out another one, he commented about it. “Didn’t think you were a chain smoker either.” He said bitterly. I acted like I was giving him a fake laugh as I took the cigarette from him. I had put in my mouth, but before he lit it for me, I told him to put it away. “How are you going to smoke it then?” He asked me in a joking matter.

“I’m going to try something.” Was the only thing I said as the two watched me, expecting something to happen. They weren’t the only ones.

As I put the cigarette into my mouth, I began to think that I wanted the tip to light on fire. I tried my hardest to think about it, hoping that my unicorn powers had stayed with me when I got sent back to Earth. If I did it, it would prove everything, and Equestria would be real.

After waiting for a minute, Stephen finally broke the silence. “Joseph, just the hell are you-“ But he had shut up as they both saw something glow on my head.

Right there, right in front of the two, my head had a unicorn horn sort of holographically glowing on top of my head. A few seconds later, the cigarette tip finally lit itself as I used the magic inside of me to light it. I opened my eyes to see the end smoking by itself and smiled.

As I inhaled some of the smoke, I then pulled the cigarette out and exhaled the smoke, then announced to them. “Haha! What now mother fuckers?! Equestria is real!”
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Chapter 24 everybody. I’d like to take this time to say I’ve realized something after reading some clopfics on Fimfiction. I realized that my sex chapters aren’t as good. Why aren’t they as good? Well it’s simple, because while they actually take care and try to make it as pleasurable as possible, my thinking while writing one is “GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!” Now, that isn’t to say I resent them for that. Not at all, as I understand why I don’t do as well, which is why I’m asking this. If there is anybody out there who would be willing to help me out to make the sex chapters more awesome, I would be extremely EXTREMELY grateful. I'd also like to make a shout-out to Bronytim01 on Fanfiction for making a spinoff of this story. If you don't like grimdark/gore, don't read it, but if you don't mind (Really not that bad), check out his story ‘Best Dream Ever’. That is all.

Don’t have sex. Because if you have sex, then you will get pregnant, and die.