We were still sitting at the table talking to each other about our lives. I had noticed that it was becoming late in the day and that I would like get my things in my room before it was too late, still had to go to this party and all, even though I was probably going to hate it. From the sounds of it, it sounds like something a mom would throw for their kid’s birthday party, not my kind of party. Then again, Vinyl said there was going to be alcohol there, so I might as well give it a chance.

“It was around that time that I had left the rock farm trying to make my own career with my cello I got from my grandfather. I had a wonderful time trying to make a name for myself. At first it was hard to make a name but after doing multiple events I had enough experience that I had gotten a job offer to become a part of a band which has been doing huge events in Canterlot ever since.”

“Wow… that’s really interesting Octavia, I never knew you could do something like that.” I put on a smile trying to seem like I was interested, but inside I was thinking. ‘Oh thank god she finally shut up. I mean really, who the fuck owns a fucking rock farm? What the hell do you even do on a rock farm?’ It was at this point that I could feel myself needing a cigarette, ‘cause if I didn’t get one soon I was going to explode from keeping all the stress of the day inside myself.

“I’m sorry to be rude Octavia, Vinyl, but it’s getting late in the evening. If I could be shown to my room I would really appreciate it.” Still keeping on the same smile, but inside of me… ‘Fuck, need a cigarette, fuck fuck fuck!’

“Oh, of course, how rude of us Fiery, I had forgotten about your living arrangements. Please, if you could follow me, I will show you the way to your room.” We came to a door on the second floor that was on the left right at the top of the stairs. We opened the door and the room was huge! I mean fucking huge! It was bigger than my apartment, had a balcony overlooking a cliff that the house was built on like the ones in Hollywood, had a huge ass bed and even my own bathroom!

Octavia coughed to get my attention. “Ahem, as you can see Fiery, you have your own room. With it is a 15’x17’ bathroom fit with your own shower, sink, toilet, and anything else you need in there.” I felt like she was insinuating something there, something that Vinyl would have insinuated. “In the actual room is a 36”x42” kings size double bed (remember people, these are ponies, not people), along with it is a dresser able to fit any clothes you need, you know to keep up your image if your into that. You have a 24’ squared closet, apparently our last roommate liked keeping a lot of things in his closet. He was also kind enough to leave his 50” HD television before he left, saying he couldn’t fit it in his wagon.” ‘Wait, they have television here? The fuck! Are they stuck in the 15th or 21st century!? Make up your god damn mind already!’

“I’m very impressed Octavia, I’ve never had a room like this before, let alone lived in a place like this before.” It was true, I was very impressed with the room, and it had been true that I had never set foot in a place like this before.

Suddenly, Vinyl caught my fuckup. “Wait, I thought you said you lived in West Manehatten? I thought all the rich-type ponies had houses like this one there.”

‘Fuck! Nice going Joseph! Real nice blowing your fucking cover on your first day here!’ “Oh, right, um. Oh! Yeah, I did come from West Manehatten, but what I meant is that I haven’t laid hoof in a house this modern. It was usually like the usual old mansions, you know? With a bunch of castle-looking places. Hehehe.” ‘Smooth…’

Vinyl looked at me like she could sense I was lying. ‘Why the fuck is that happening so much today!’ Suddenly, she went back to her usual grin. “Alrighty then.”

After setting down my guitar in the room, I turned to face them. “If you don’t mind, I would like to get ready for the party that’s in a few hours. Have to freshen up and all that.” They looked at me with blank faces (at least Octavia did, couldn’t tell on Vinyl, you know, shades and all.) before they realized I wanted to be alone.

“Oh! Of course Fiery, how rude of us. Come on Vinyl, we should probably get ready as well.” Octavia said to Vinyl and then went on her way to her own room.

“Aww, but I wanted to watch!” Vinyl said with a grin, thinking I was going to do something dirty. That or probably wanted to watch me shower which was going to be hard enough being in this new pony body.

“NOW Vinyl!” Octavia yelled from down the hall.

“Alright, alright, sheesh ‘Tavi… Well then, bye Fi-fi! See you in a bit.” Vinyl said with a grin and started to walk down to her own room just like Octavia.

After I made sure that they were both in their rooms, I slammed the door shut and ran towards to balcony. I was so focused on trying to get to the balcony to smoke that I nearly ran through the glass window that was there. Luckily, before I ran into it, I was still sane enough and found the door to the balcony. Once I got outside I quickly pulled out the cigarette pack and the lighter out of my pocket and fiddled with them trying to get a cigarette out. “Fuck! Come on… Fuck fuck fuck, come on god damnit!.. Finally!” I had finally gotten a cigarette out and brought out to my mouth. I then pulled the lighter to my mouth and flicked it on, bringing out fire and lighting my cigarette. I inhaled deeply trying to get as much tobacco in my system that I ended up coughing from getting too much smoke. “*Cough* Fuuuuuck, I needed that…”

After taking some more drags from my cig, I had felt much better. I had put the butt out and threw it over the edge of the balcony, where I saw it tumble down the cliff until I couldn’t see it anymore. I looked into my cigarette box to find out that there were only 9 cigarettes now. “Well fuck, don’t I just have the best fucking luck?”

I looked over to my right on the balcony and saw something I hadn’t expected “Shit! They have a fucking pool!? I thought these ponies were fucking struggling? First the modern-day mansion, then the mansion has nice ass rooms and even a pool! What? Are one of them going to tell me that they’re a fucking drug lord or something?” After my little rant, I just said fuck it and went to go get ready for the party.

After an hour of trying to figure out how to wash my new pony body, I was finally able to get out and went to the sink. “Alright, sink time… I don’t have a toothbrush do I?” Sure enough, there was no toothbrush there for me to use. “Well fuck… how am I going to get rid of this stink?” For a while I stayed quiet in the bathroom trying to find a solution, then out of the corner of my eye, I saw my temporary savior. Mouthwash. It would only work for a little while, but I would need to find something to get rid of the stink for good. But something seemed off to me. What was weird was that even though there was no toothbrush, the last guy living here had the type of toothpaste to fight off odors like smoke breath. ‘Lucky me?’

For a while I contemplated if I should do the mouthwash, or asking one of the girls for help looking for a toothbrush. There I just thought to myself that I should take a small bit of the mouthwash to hide the odor for a few minutes, then ask the girls for a toothbrush, would probably be the best option anyways.

After taking a bit of mouthwash to clean my breath for a minute, I walked out of the bathroom and opened the door to the hallway. “Hey Vinyl! Octavia! You guys have any idea where I could get a toothbrush?”

Octavia opened up her door to answer. “There should be one underneath the sink, if not, there’s a cupboard in the room across from you with certain items for bathroom needs.”

“Alright! Thank you Octavia!” I closed the door and went back to the bathroom. Sure enough, underneath the sink was an unopened toothbrush. “Oh thank god!” When I opened the new toothbrush and began brushing my new pony teeth, finally getting rid of the smell of smoke from my mouth, at least until I would burp and the remaining smoke in my lungs would come up.

After finally getting done with brushing my teeth and showering and such, I went back to the main part of the bedroom. There I saw my guitar and thought back to earlier today. ‘How the fuck did I do that? Was it the guitar? Was it this new pony body? Was it only a one-time thing or will it continue on? Ah fuck it, I’ll think about it later.’ I pulled out my Iphone from my other pocket and threw everything I had from my pockets onto one of the end tables next to my bed.

I lied down on the bed thinking of going to sleep from the long day when I heard a knock from the door. “Fiery? Are you ready yet?” Octavia called through the door.

‘God damnit, why can’t this damn day just fucking end already?’ “Yeah, I’m ready Octavia. I’ll be down in a little bit.”

“Alright Fiery, see you in a little bit then.” With that I heard her walking down the steps to the living room of the house.

After finally making sure I looked presentable enough, I went downstairs to meet Octavia and Vinyl. When I saw them, something hit me. They both looked so… elegant… I don’t know why but even though they didn’t really look any different besides to some lipstick and eye shadow, they looked much nicer than when I first saw them. “You look both… amazing.”

“Well, well, seems Mr. Strings here finds us sexy ‘Tavi.”

Octavia slapped Vinyl lightly with her hoof for the remark. “Thank you Fiery, that’s very kind of you to say.”

All I could think of at that moment was ‘Why am I getting attracted to ponies now? Maybe I really am changing due to this world… Fuck… Fuckity fuck fuck, McFuckerton. Nope, still got that ability, at least that’s nice to know for my own enjoyment.’

We finally decided to lock up the house and head to where the party was being held. Apparently it was being held at a library. ‘Why a library? That’s just messed up man. Don’t they have any bars here?’ When we finally reached the place, I looked all over the place for any type of government looking place for the library, but all I saw was a huge tree. “So… where’s the library?”

“You silly, it’s right here.” Vinyl said to me.

“... You mean it’s the tree?”

“Indubitably.”

“*Sigh* Alright, let’s go in. Where’s the door?” Right as I said that, Vinyl seemed to have found the door. We went into the tree (still weirded out by that.) and all was dark.

Suddenly, with a flick of the lights. “SURPISE!” Screamed what seemed to be the entire town in the library.

‘JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!’ “JESUS CHRIST!”

“Who?” Octavia turned to me with a confused look.

“Uh, nothing. But haha, boy did you guys get me good, nice surprise.” ‘Fucking assholes nearly gave me a god damn heart attack!’

We finally got all the way inside and suddenly all the ponies seemed to be crowding me asking all sorts of questions about myself. “So where are you from?” “What foods do you like?” “Do you have a marefriend?” “What type of hobbies do you like?” etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Suddenly, Vinyl seemed to get in-between me and the group of ponies.

“Hold on now girls, this one’s mine first, you can all have him after I’m done with him.” After that all the females in the room seemed to “Awwwed” and went back to the party. ‘I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that Vinyl made that joke (at least I hoped it was) or that the female ponies seemed to be depressed about it.’

After many hours of just hanging out and having some fun (I guess I was having fun, there was booze but still, it had that little kid’s party aura to it.) when suddenly 6 mares decided to come up to me. The leader of the bunch was a purple unicorn with an equally purple mane and tail with a pink stripe. She had a Cutie Mark resembling a six-pointed pink star with five other white stars around it. ‘Wonder what the hell that’s supposed to mean.’

Suddenly, the purple mare decided to speak. “Hello Fiery, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

At this point in the party and from drinking so much, I was on the tipping line of shitfaced and still having cognitive thought. Let’s just say that because of this what happened next wasn’t so pleasant for the ponies of Ponyville. She continued.

“I would like to introduce you to my friends.” ‘Who is this bitch and why should I fucking care about her friends?’ Again, she continued. She pointed to a white unicorn on her left, she apparently had purple curled up hair and three diamonds for a Cutie Mark. “This is Rarity.”

“Charmed.” The unicorn said. ‘The snooty stuck-up slut, check.’

She pointed to the cyan pegasus that was left of Raribitch or whatever her name was and continued. “This is Rainbow Dash.” The pegasus had rainbow colored hair (Heh, such an original name… aw who the fuck am I kidding.) and a rainbow colored lightning bolt coming out a white cloud.

“ ‘Sup.” The pegasus said. ‘So the tomboy lesbian… wait, is she a lesbian? Probably not, but who gives a flying fuck… hehe, flying fuck…’

Next the purple one pointed to an earth pony on the very end that was straight up pink… Pinkie Pie… “This is Pinkie Pie.”

“Heya Fiery! It’s so nice meeting you again, and I think it’s just super duper that you’re roommates with my sister!”

She then began continuing on her right. Next she pointed to an orange earth pony with what looked like a cowboy hat and three apples for a Cutie Mark… Oh, and she had blonde mane and tail, but you probably don’t care anyways. “This is Applejack.”

“Howdy partner! Glad ‘ta have ya in our community.” ‘So the incestuous hick that’s named after an alcoholic beverage, check.’

“And finally we have Fluttershy.” She pointed to a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail that she was apparently trying to hide herself from, and if that didn’t work she then tried hiding behind Appletini or whatever, and she also had three butterflies for her Cutie Mark. She made a small noise but I wasn’t able to hear her. “Come on Fluttershy, it’s ok, just say hi.”

The yellow one decided to come out from behind her mane very slowly, and in a soft voice. “Um… H-hello, m-my name i-is Fluttershy…” She ‘eeped’ and hid back behind her mane again. ‘So the... um.... uh.... I got nothing.’

After finally introducing themselves, the purple one finally looked at me expecting to answer, which… wasn’t the best idea. I leaned in to her and told her to come closer. Finally, after she came close enough into whispering distance, that’s when I said the following words. “Hey Twilight, I couldn’t give a FUCK about you or your friends. That’s why I’m telling you this once and only once. Fuck. Off.”

Twilight recoiled in disturbance and looked in shock, as did the rest of them. Finally the rainbow one decided to swoop down and get in my face. “Hey buddy! Nobody disrespects me or my friends like that! Now apologize!” They all yelled and nodded in agreement with their friend. That’s when Octavia and Vinyl looked over to me and saw what was happening. They rushed over trying to diffuse the situation.

“Hey guys!” Vinyl tried getting their attention. “What’s going on!?” Both her and Octavia looked extremely worried about what was happening.

“You’re ‘friend’ here jus’ decided to insult us without any reason, that’s what’s happening!” Applejack interjected.

“What do you-“ But before Octavia could finish something else happened that I would later regret. While all the yelling was going on I could feel the bile from my stomach coming up my stomach. That’s right, what happened next was I had thrown up all over Rainbow Dash’s face and into her mouth that she happened to have opened. This was weird because usually I’m not such a lightweight, must be because of me being a pony now that it happened.

Everyone at the party was horrified at the scene that Octavia and Vinyl took the chance to get me out of there before ‘the mane 6’ as I learned they were called, also known as the ‘Elements of Harmony’ as well, came out of their puked-induced shock.

The two of them had to put me on Octavia’s back and carry me all the way back to the house, and when they were halfway there Vinyl finally decided to talk. “So… what do you think happened back there?”

Octavia sighed and decided to answer. “I don’t know Vinyl, I really don’t know. As much as I dislike talking to her, I might be able to get the information out of Pinkie tomorrow.”

After a while more Vinyl finally decided to ask Octavia. “Hey ‘Tavi, why do you hate talking to your sister so much? Is it because she and her friends ruined those two jobs you had in Canterlot?”

Octavia almost broke her neck trying to answer Vinyl with such neck-turning speed. “Of course it is! Not to mention the one time here in Ponyville during Nightmare Night when Princess Luna tried showing us that she changed and Pinkie nearly ruined the night convincing everypony that the Princess was going to eat all of us. That’s three jobs she’s ruined for me! I only got paid half for the ones in Canterlot because they found out I was sisters with her but decided to not hold it against me while here in Ponyville I was humiliated for almost a week because of her antics! Not to mention the fact that she also gets in all sorts of trouble here! I mean, you remember the time she put on that gruesome play with Rainbow Dash? What was it called again? ‘Cupcakes’ or something like that?”

“Hehe, I guess you’re right. But still, she’s your sister, you shouldn’t hate her much because of a few mistakes she’s made.” Vinyl tried telling her. She only got a glare in return. “Okay, a LOT of mistakes… But still ‘Tavi! She’s your sister, you only have one of them, err, two of them I mean… You know what I’m trying to say!”

“*Sigh* I know Vinyl, I know. It’s just… sometimes I wish she could act like she was a normal pony rather than a madmare.”

After that, the two of them stayed quiet until they were finally home. When they got me into bed Vinyl spoke up once again. “So… what do you think we should do with him?”

Octavia started becoming red. “VINYL! How could you think of such a thing! Taking advantage of him in his sleep, for shame.”

“ME!? I was only saying what we should do with him because of the situation we just came from! I hadn’t meant anything like that all!... You know, sometimes I wonder who the real dirty pony is in this household…”

Octavia turned a deep red and quickly looked away in embarrassment. After a few moments of looking away and cooling down, she finally answered. “I don’t know Vinyl, I guess we can only wait until he wakes up for him to tell us what was going on.” Right after she said that, she had noticed my Iphone, lighter, and cigarettes on the end table next to my bed. “Hello, what do we have here?”
Well there you go guys, chapter 3. Sorry for the few days of not updating, but with WoW, Skyrim, trying to think of dialogue and such, watching the new MLP:FiM episode, and watching a 30 hour (That’s right, 30 hours!) documentary on WW2, I don’t exactly spend much time on it… okay who am I kidding, I have plenty of time, I just choose to use it on other things rather than this so I don’t get burnt out. Also, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about this community, it’s to not fuck with Fluttershy, that’s why I didn’t say anything bad about her. Seriously, say something bad and the fans will pounce on you like a pack of hungry ravenous wolves going after their meal. Anyways, See ya next chapter!