Hey guys, Poodicus here with another bonus chapter. Chapter 35 is on its way, as it’s already finished and is being reviewed as we speak. Anyways, thought I’d make this chapter after re-reading ‘Mister Fluttershy’s’ Texas Hold ‘em Fanfic with all the characters from various HiE stories, and thought I’d do one of my own with characters, except it would be more… my tastes (WARNING! SEXUAL REFERENCES AHEAD!) So don’t think go in thinking it’s going to be rated ‘Everyone’. Also, I suppose I should put this up. WARNING: Spoiler Alert! Will have some references to future chapters as of the release of this, as well as some of the re-writes, but for the most part, it’ll be a chapter about some good friends having a good time playing poker together. Alright, I suppose I’ve been yapping on for long enough. On with the show!

In a dark room, somewhere in the Canterlot Palace, sat five stallions for a fifth week in a row. All gathered around a table, they chatted and had fun as they played a game together. That game, was ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’. The stallions, three unicorns, a pegasus, and an earth pony, knew each other one way or another.

The unicorns were Fiery Embers, Frostbite Sparkle as he went by, and Shining Armor, who had become quite close as friends with both Fiery and Frostbite, since they were constantly around. The pegasus, was one of the two main guards for Queen Luna, his name Knightly. And finally came the earth pony. He was a close friend of Fiery since he would occasionally open up for his concerts. His name was Blues.

“Alright, we all agree?” Fiery asked the stallions, and they all nodded in unison. “Right then, ante’s five bits, doubles every five hooves, no limit.” Fiery explained once more as he dealt the first hoof. Shortly after doing so, he began to initiate small talk. “So how’s married life treating ya Shining?” He asked as he took one of the cigars he had received from his human ‘father’ at the wedding reception.

“Could ask you the same thing King Fiery.” Shining answered with a smile.

“Told ya before Shining, that title doesn’t exist. I turned it down before and after I married Luna. Besides, she and her sister do all the work, all I do is sit around and play my guitar for some of my own funds and such.” Fiery answered as he used his magic to light the cigar. “But enough about me, you’re the only other one here who’s married, so how’s it treating ya?”

Shining chuckled some before answering some and taking a look at his cards. “Well, you could say that Cadence has been sweet to me.”

“And the foal?”

Shining shrugged his shoulders. “Doing fine I suppose.”

“Alright, cool, cool…. Damn, I just cannot get anything good in these games.” Fiery complained as he folded his hoof, while taking the cigar out and tapping the ashes into the ash tray. Next was Frostbite’s turn to speak.

“So when’s your next concert Jojo? Been thinking of taking Twilight to one.”

Fiery looked at his friend and cocked an eyebrow. “That such a good idea? You know what I play, right?”

Frostbite shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I know, but she spends too much time in that library. I want to go out and do something fun with her once in a while.”

Shining began to chuckle. “She’s always been like that, just the way she was since she was little. All she wanted to do was read books and learn what was in them, never wanting to go outside and get to know other ponies.”

“Yeah, well, I just care that she’s missing out on a lot, that’s all. I mean, she goes and says we need to talk more, but every time I want to talk to her about something I think we could do together, she’s always busy reading, then turns around and complains when I go out to have fun with you guys or something…. I don’t know, sometimes I regret getting into this relationship.” Frostbite said as he began to rub his mane in frustration.

“Life’s a bitch Pat. If you think one relationship is bad, try maintaining nine…. Your deal Pat.”

“Still weirds me out that you guys aren’t ponies.” Knightly said out loud.

“He’s the human, I’m technically 100% pony.” Fiery said as he pointed towards Frostbite. “But so long the U.S. government is concerned, I’m still human. But anyways, getting on the subject of relationships, how’s yours going with KnightMare, Knightly?”

Knightly grinned widely. “Oh, you know, good, good…. Because she wasn’t on shift yesterday, and I was, when I came home after a stressful day… Well, let’s just say she gave me a great welcome home ‘gift’, if you catch my meaning.” Knightly said as he winked.

“Did she now?” Fiery said as he tapped his cigar on the ash tray once more, then looked at Blues. “Merry ever do anything like that for you Blues?”

Blues shook his head. “Nah, she can’t imagine herself doing anything like that, no matter how hard I wash it.” The other stallions around the table began to laugh.

“Really? Even with that Blueballs guy?” Fiery asked.

Blues nodded. “Didn’t do it once.”

“Well, you’re definitely missing out on something special.” Knightly commented. “Just as wet, yet feels different from the pussy.” He then laid his cards out. “Three twos.” The rest of the table groaned, making Knightly chuckle and began to pull in the bits when a hoof stopped him. He looked up to see who it belong to and saw Fiery grinning.

Flipping his cards over, Fiery announced his hoof. “Straight, four through eight.”

“He’s got you there Knightly.”

Knightly huffed and threw his arms up in the air, cursing under his breath while Fiery chuckled and took the bits back. “Finally, a winning hoof.”

“And it’ll be your only one.” Knightly told his friend bitterly. As Blues dealt out the next hoof, Fiery continued the conversation.

“So, besides Knightly being pissy about losing that hoof-“ Knightly gave Fiery a quick glare. “Anything new going on with you guys?”

“Nothing new here.” Frostbite said.

“Nadda.”

“Merry’s dad was able to open a second bar on the other side of town.”

“Really? Gonna have to check it out sometime then.” Fiery said as he took a look at his hoof, only to click his tongue in frustration. ‘Seems I really am just going to win one hoof tonight.’

“Anyways, you’ve been getting a lot of glares from the other royalty lately Fiery. Also fold.” Shining said as he threw down his cards.

“Yeah, well, all they care about is power. They were probably shooting for Luna’s hoof in marriage because they knew they wouldn’t be able to get with Celestia. Little did the little asswipes know that I’d be coming into town.” Fiery replied with a grin.

“Just saying, better watch your back, as we won’t always be there to protect ya.” Shining said as he pointed between himself and Knightly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Besides, you really think they would be stupid enough to piss her off? Say what you will about her being the Queen of the Night, that doesn’t excuse the fact that she can practically kick your ass or mine at any given moment. Not to mention Celestia and my in-laws. Two pair, fours and sevens.”

“One.”

“High Card.”

“Two pair, six and ten.” Knightly grinned widely, as he looked right at Fiery. Fiery simply rolled his eyes as Knightly took the bits.

“So….” Fiery started as Shining began to shuffle and deal the cards. “What else you guys got?”

“What’d ya mean?”

Fiery shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t think of anything else to ask, unless you guys want to get into more personal stuff.”

“Like what?” Frostbite asked.

Again, Fiery shrugged his shoulders. “What’s the kinkiest shit you guys have ever done?”

“Does it have to be with our current girlfriends or wives?” Shining asked.

Fiery shook his head. “Nah, can be with anypony I guess. Wait, don’t tell me you’ve done it with somepony else besides Cadence.”

Shining smirked a bit. “Well, I guess it was about five years ago around this time. It was one of those royal parties, and I was the captain overlooking it at the time. While I was watching the crowd, making sure nothing wrong was going on, this sweet little unicorn, most likely drunk, comes up to me and begins to flirt with me. Well, because I was still on duty, I wasn’t moving an inch away from my post, but the more and more the unicorn began to flirt with me, I guess you could say the more and more that my defenses dropped. You see, Cadence is one of those old-fashioned mares, no sex until marriage type, and despite me being in a relationship with her…. Well, I’m a stallion, and I need to do something to get rid of the stress of work and such, right?” The other stallions agreed with him. “Anyways, this unicorn just kept bombarding me with these flirts, and me being me, I really couldn’t say anything back at her, trying to focus on work and all. Looking back on it now, I’m sort of surprised she didn’t give up after I showed no interest, but then again, I’m not complaining at all.” He flipped his cards over to reveal them. “Straight.”

The other members at the table flipped their cards to reveal they lost, and began to get ready for the next hoof. “Ante’s doubled this time around.” Fiery reminded everypony.

“So getting back to the story, right around the time it was time for me to switch positions with the other captain, the unicorn leaned in and started to whisper to me the nastiest, dirtiest things you could ever think of. That’s when I just said ‘screw it’ and broke right there and then. I picked the mare up and ran for the nearest bedroom, where we began to do it until Celestia’s sun rose up in the morning, doing the dirtiest things you can think of. It’s easy to say that when Cadence came back from meeting her father in the Lupotly, she wasn’t exactly too happy about learning what had happened that night.”

The other stallions around the table began to chuckle at Shining’s misfortune at the end, when Knightly spoke up next. “Alright, alright, so back in Cloudsdale, there was this pegasus there that I had the hots for. I can still remember that sweet lilac ass and the mixture of blue and white in her tail and mane…. Anyways, she wasn’t exactly the dirty type, but just like Shining here, this girl didn’t want to have sex until marriage, but I was able to convince her otherwise. Did it take some work to do it? Yeah, but it was definitely worth it in the end. So anyways, this mare didn’t want to anything normal like vaginal intercourse, so I was able to convince her to go a little north. After getting her to agree to it, on the night of our high school prom, she let me go at her full force. I’m just glad that prom was on a Friday night, because it was so loose you could see inside by the time I was done; had to wait the entire weekend at my house just for it to go back to normal.”

Fiery chuckled a bit before turning towards Blues. “You got any good stories like that Blues?” He asked, when Frostbite began to chuckle some as well, but not for the reason that they all thought. “What’s got you in a tizzy?”

Frostbite looked up from his cards while continuing to chuckle. “Hmm? Ah, nothing, nothing at all.”

“Nothing my tail, what’s up?” Shining asked.

As Frostbite calmed himself down, he turned to Fiery. “Jojo, you remember Jamar? From Freshman year of college?”

Fiery put a hoof to his chin and began to tap it, trying to think. “You mean the crazy guy who showed us, like, ten different freaky ass fetishes that we never knew existed?”

Frostbite nodded. “That’s the one.”

“What about him?”

“Well, you remember that crazy one from Japan?”

“Again, he showed us like ten different ones, gonna have to be more specific.”

“You know, the one with the cheating girl and all?”

Fiery began to think about it. “You mean, what was it? Netorare or something?”

Frostbite clapped his hooves together and pointed at Fiery. “That’s the one! Couldn’t think of the name.” He said, smiling.

“What about it?”

“Well, you know about all the fanfics and rule 34 pics and such, right?” Frostbite continued to laugh.

“Wait, what’s this?” Knightly asked.

Fiery shrugged his shoulders. “Back on Earth, there’s this country called Japan, where, I don’t even know if it even originated there, but there’s a fetish there among artists and such called NTR, where it’s basically a woman cheating on her lover, and usually enjoys it as the male is forced to watch. It’s some seriously fucked-up shit, and I have no idea why Pat is bringing it up.”

“Because man, all this talk about sex and such, I began to wonder, I haven’t seen it yet, but what if that shit happened to Shining?”

Shining looked at Frostbite. “What?”

“Ahh, man, that ain’t cool Pat. Even on a joking level that ain’t cool.”

“Just think about it, in the show, he and Cadence are the only pair in the show-“

“Still Pat, that shit ain’t cool.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Shining said, confused.

Fiery turned to Shining, finishing off the cigar, and explained. “For some bizarre ass reason, he began to think of sick shit that humans on Earth would come up with where Cadence would cheat on you, right in front of you no less.”

“What?!” Shining yelled as he quickly stood up, only to be calmed down by Fiery.

“Hold on, hold on, she’s not really cheating on you big guy, just some sick crap humans on Earth make up to get off on. I’m sure she loves ya very much and all that stuff.” Fiery said while he looked at Shining, then turned to Frostbite. “Speaking of which, I still ain’t forgiving ya for showing me those fucking pictures of Luna and ‘Tavi. I know they’re just drawings, but nopony should be looking at those but me. And don’t even get me started on that dumbass fanfic you showed me…. Fucking story got me so pissed off, damn human hitting on Luna….”

“Ah come on Jojo, they’re just drawings and stories.”

“Still not cool man. I mean, how would you like it if I showed you pictures or stories of Twilight cheating on ya? You wouldn’t like it, would you?”

Right after he said that, Knightly nudged Blues, getting his attention, then looked at the rest of the group, telling him to try to break it up with a story. Blues understood and nodded. “So, uh, yeah, I got a story.”

Fiery looked at Blues and nodded. “Shoot.”

“So anyways, the night after you and Frostbite here helped me and Merry, she thought that you guys were right, and decided to give me a reward for telling you guys about what was happening. Was the best night I ever had.” Blues said with a smile.

“And?”

“And that’s it.”

Fiery rolled his eyes at the story. “Alright, whatever-“ He then pointed at Frostbite. “Kinkiest shit you’ve ever done Pat, go!”

“Triplets.” Frostbite said.

“Wait, you mean you got in bed with triplets?! Damn! When the hell did this happen?!” Fiery exclaimed.

Frostbite looked at Fiery with confusion. “What? No, I’m saying I got a three of a kind.” He announced as he flipped his cards over.

“Oh.” Fiery then looked at his own cards. “Damn, two pair.”

“High card.”

“Two pair.”

Shining sighed. “One pair.”

As Frostbite smiled and took the pot, Fiery continued. “So you gonna tell us or what?”

“Hold on, hold on-“ Frostbite said as he grabbed the cards and began to shuffle them, then dealt before continuing. “So, I don’t really know if it’s kinky or not, but Twilight wanted us to do it on a bed of books one time. Easy to say we had to wipe and sanitize some of them before putting them back on the shelf. But I guess anything weirder than that is when I caught her masturbating with one of the books. Turns out she was lonely and we began to do it all night long cause Spike was out at Rarity’s helping out and such.” He then turned to Fiery. “Guess it’s your turn then Fiery.”

Fiery sighed. “I don’t know if this is kinky, or just weirdest thing Luna has ever done to me. During our month long honeymoon going around Mareurope, I don’t know how in the world she got in this state, or even how to get it back, but one morning, she ends up ordering some pancakes for breakfast.”

“Doesn’t sound so bad.” Knightly said.

Fiery waved his hoof. “That’s not the weird thing. The weird thing is what happens afterwards. So anyways, she ends up ordering some pancakes, but doesn’t order any syrup on it. I think ‘huh, that’s odd, she usually loves to have maple syrup on her pancakes’. So I end up asking her about it, and after the waitress left our room, she looked at me and smiled with quite possibly the kinkiest smile I’ve seen to date on her face, and says ‘Well of course I don’t have it, because I haven’t extracted it yet.’”

“Don’t tell me-“

“Hold on, hold on. So I’m just like ‘okay, that’s weird.’, and the next thing I know, she uses her magic to fling me back onto the bed and tie me up using the bed sheets.”

“No way-“

“Once she did that, she ended up walking up to me and began to blow me. I’m asking her what’s going on, but she just keeps blowing me while she put the pancakes on the bed next to me. Minutes later, I begin to feel like I have to cum, and she can sense this. She stops blowing me, picks up the pancakes, put them in a position she liked, bent my dick towards it, and then continues to pleasure me using her hoof.”

“Dude…”

“Seconds later, I end up cumming all over the pancakes, and she just keeps on smiling as I do it. Next thing I know, she unties me using magic, while she picks up a fork with her hoof and begins eating it, just like that, and eats every bit, even wiping up any spare cum on the plate using spare bites she didn’t eat yet. Now every time I ask her about it, she either says she has no idea what I’m talking about, or blushes and completely ignores the question.”

The room had become completely silent, before Shining coughed some. “You sure that really happened? You sure it wasn’t just a dream?”

“I thought the same thing, then I ended up re-watching the video tape of us doing it the night before, and we ended up forgetting to turn it off. Caught the entire thing on film until it ran out of time two hours later after we left the room.”

“…. So…. What type of pancakes were they?”

Fiery looked at Frostbite and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t know what that’s got anything to do it with it, but if you gotta know, we were in Nederlands at the time, so Dertch. We were there for a few more days before we went to Lupotly to meet her brother, and then back towards Bungland, where one of her other sisters co-rules with the leading bulldog there.”

Unsure of what to say next, the room stayed silent. Shining Armor looked over up at the clock and saw that it was past eleven. “I should probably get going. I got the duty of training some new recruits early tomorrow, and besides, if I get back home too late, Cadence is going to kill me.”

“At least put in a large amount man, last hoof.”

Shining rolled his eyes and agreed, then flipped over his cards. “One pair.” Showing a five, matching a five on the table, and a two.

Next was Blues. “Triple.” He showed two fives.

Then came Knightly. “Straight.” He said with a grin, revealing a two and three, that added with the ace, one of the two fours, and five on the table.

“Damn, two pair.” Frostbite announced as he showed his matching ace and eight that were on the table as well.

Finally came Fiery, who was wearing an even bigger grin than Knightly. “Bam! Quads!” He announced as he flipped his cards, revealing two fours. It was easy to say that he was continuing to grin widely as he raked in all the bits that were on the table, resulting in a total of 100 bits. “Well, this was a good night for me.” He said while he chuckled and counted the bits.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Same time next week?” Knightly asked, and all the stallions nodded.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me. Applejack came by a few days ago. Turns out Twilight told her about me coming here and playing poker with you guys, and because AJ worries about her brother and all, she wanted to know if I could ask him if he wanted to come next time. You guys mind that?” Frostbite asked, and the others shook their heads.

“If he’s got the stories and the money, bring him over.” Fiery said as he continued to count his winnings.

Frostbite nodded. “Alright, when I get back home, I’ll tell Twilight to tell Applejack.”

With that, Frostbite teleported back home, while the other stallions nodded off and began to leave, when Knightly noticed that Frostbite had left his winnings behind. Right as he was about to take them, Frostbite teleported back into the room, glared at Knightly, took his winnings, and then left once more. “Too bad Knightly, almost got it.” Fiery commented.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Knightly said as he took his own winnings and left the room, leaving only Fiery to his bits.

After he got done with counting his own bits, putting them in his pocket, Fiery left the room for the housekeepers to clean up and went back to the room where he and Luna shared. As he got to the door, the guards positioned that night saluted him, and he nodded their acknowledgement and went inside. Putting the bits on the table inside, he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, then came back out to see that Luna had come back while he was in there, counting the bits he had won. “Hey Luna, done for the night?”

She nodded in response. “It was surprisingly quick tonight. Nothing wrong going on, and even court only had one pony in it. You have a good time with your friends?”

Fiery nodded as he got into bed. “Yep, and as you can easily see, I even won some hoofs.” He said as he got under the sheets, then asked Luna another question. “Hey Luna?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you going to order for breakfast tomorrow?”

Luna looked back at Fiery with confusion. “What type of question is that?”

Fiery shrugged his shoulders. “Just thought I’d ask.”

Luna turned back to the bits and continued counting as she answered. “I don’t know, why?”

A devious smile grew on Fiery’s face in response. “How about some pancakes without syrup?”

Luna froze, stopping her counting of the bits, and blushed. “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about Fiery, I-I always have syrup on them.”

Fiery rolled his eyes as he laid his head on the pillow. “I know you do Luna, I know you do…. Goodnight Luna.” He told her, only to feel a bit hit his head, with hearing Luna say the word ‘jerk’ under her breath at the same time.
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And that, my friends, is Bonus Chapter 2. Some weird fetishes out there man, sucked having to look them up for this chapter. Never again. Even had the unfortunate viewing of some of them, both while writing this and in the past. Until next time everypony!