Fiery stood there shocked as a bright light flashed before him. “Oh, shit…”

As the light faded, Princess Celestia stood there in place of the bright light. She opened her eyes to see Fiery standing there with a small bag in his hands, with what seemed to be some sort of grounded up plant inside from what she could see.

“C-celestia! Umm, this isn’t what it looks like! It’s not mine! I was going to get rid of it anyways!” He pleaded to her.

Celestia sighed. “It’s alright Joseph, I knew you would come around with something like this anyways, considering I felt like we had missed something when the last roommate was here… But that’s not what I’m here for.”

‘Wait, you mean she knew? And what does she mean she felt like she missed something when the last roommate was here? Just who the hell was he?’

“I am here for a completely different reason Joseph, as it involves all of you…” She started to say.

“U-umm, yes your highness?” It still felt weird for him to say that word, but as long as he was there and he knew there were princesses, no matter how much of an asshole he could be he still needed to show at least some respect to royalty…

“Yes.” She said but went over to his bed to become more comfortable for while she was going to talk. “Ooh, comfy.”

“Uhh… Thank… you?”

“Ahem, anyways, getting to the point… I have been some rumors going around Ponyville… Well, mostly not rumors, but more of statements and facts.”

“Umm, what statements and facts are going through Ponyville?”

“Well, as I told you earlier, there were very few males left in Ponyville for the mares that were still available, correct? Around maybe 200-300? Including the children?”

“…Yes? Although I don’t remember the part with the numbers, but go on…”

“Well… I might have been off by a little bit… As seems those numbers were from ten years ago…” She said to Fiery. She wasn’t sure how to break the ice and tell him what the numbers really were.

Fiery sensed something was going to be very bad very soon. “…If those numbers were from ten years ago, then how much off are the numbers?...”

She smiled at him and chuckled a little bit feeling very uncomfortable telling him… “Well… Maybe by…”

“Yes…?”

“Maybe by…” She said then began to mutter.

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe by… 195 to 295?” She chuckled a little after telling him the numbers, while also tapping her front two hooves together in nervousness.

Fiery stood there shocked at the numbers, but was finally able to find his voice. “Th-this is some kind joke, right? Right? I mean, you’re just fucking with me aren’t you? For the love of God please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I thought you were going to be thrilled, I mean, look at all the selections for your harem now, especially since the other four stallions here seem to be avoiding the mares due to work or not being interested, that or the mares are doing the avoiding…”

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” He yelled at her. Celestia was a little shock, but was hoping it hadn’t come to this. “Maybe five or six I can handle. But if what you’re telling me is correct, then think of all the women who are wanting me! I mean, this is totally ridiculous! Something like this hasn’t happened since the God damn bible days!”

“But it is good, right?”

“No! No, it’s not good! I can’t handle that many damn women, no matter how desperate they are! Maybe seven or eight tops, but that’s it! Not hundreds!”

“So you want the pony race to go extinct just because you’re not willing reproduce with so many mares?”

“Not if it gets me killed by my heart exploding trying to pump so much blood in various areas in the process!”

“Who ever said that you had to do them all at once?”

Fiery facehoofed. “Alright fine, maybe that’s a bad example, but what am I going to do if I do end up getting EVERY one of them pregnant!? No, not even every one of them, but a lot nevertheless! How am I going to be able to support that many damn kids!? Hell, even with the seven or eight I would be pushing it!”

“Who ever said you would be supporting them? If you were to take up this task, I would be more than willing to support the children of the next generation.”

Fiery got up from the floor that he was sitting on and began walking over to the wall. Once he got to the wall, he got up on his hind legs and started to bang his forehead up against it. Celestia laughed. “You’re having fun fucking with me, aren’t you?” Fiery asked her while still banging his head up against the wall.

“Somewhat, but I’m also being very serious here.” She said to him in a somewhat serious tone, but was still trying to keep a straight face on because she thought it so was so much fun seeing his reaction. Fiery would continue to bang his head up against the wall, while Celestia only watched him holding back laughter.

After several minutes of banging his head up against the wall, Fiery finally began to answer her as he turned to her. “And what of the children? Science has proven that incest can really fuck things up in your genetic code if you’re a product of it. Have you thought about that?”

“Whoever said the children would mate?”

“Well, if I’m the only one mating with the mares, despite if the other four stallions DO decide to come around and mate with some of the mares, then who else would they mate with?”

“They always have the choice of leaving Ponyville and finding somepony for themselves, not to mention the fillies and colts, as well as foals, that are still young now from the current relationships in this town would also be able to mate with them.”

“That may be true, but do you really think that ALL of them would choose to leave Ponyville to find a suitable mate, or would be willing to mate with someone who’s maybe a few years to maybe fifteen years older than them?”

“I… I suppose not…” Celestia was having too much fun screwing with Fiery that she hadn’t really thought of all the consequences. “But perhaps it won’t come to something like that.” She tried reasoning, but she knew something like that was unlikely to happen.

Fiery sat back down on the floor and sighed. “Look, I know you care about wanting the next generation to come and all that jazz since the entire pony population has only 10% males, but this puts a lot of pressure on me. I mean, I haven’t even done it with anyone here yet because I’ve only been here for a few days. There’s also the whole thing with the party on the first day of me being here and it not doing me any favors from what I hear. There’s not even a chance that anyone else is going to be willing to do it with me since I’m sure they think I’m just one giant asshole…” He said.

He felt like degrading himself because it was true somewhat that when he came here the first day that he did act like sort of an asshole to the other ponies and hadn’t really gone out to apologize to the population of the town. Celestia thought differently though. “Really? That’s strange, because I don’t get that feeling whatsoever from the town’s ponies.” She said trying to cheer him up.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do Celestia… Can I call you Celestia?”

She nodded. “But only in situations like these when it’s just the two of us, don’t like the whole Princess title anyways… But, I have to wear it for the public sadly…”

‘Don’t know how many times we’re going to be alone… I hope it’s not too many…’ “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that’s the way you feel about it… Anyways… I appreciate what you’re trying to do Celestia, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t try such tactics, as I’m sure it’s not true.”

Celestia smiled. “And how do you know that?”

“Because, anybody with a right mind would probably hate me after what I did at that party.”

“Oh? Have you actually asked anypony about how they feel about you yet?”

“You mean besides ‘Tavi, Vinyl, and Fluttershy?... No, not really. Being cooped up in this house all day doesn’t exactly help me, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t, which is why you need to go out into the world and see for yourself that nopony hates you because you got too drunk and threw up onto Rainbow Dash… Alright, maybe she’ll hate you…”

“Wait, how do you know all that?”

“Oh, I have my sources.” She smiled devilishly.

“Okay… Anyways, back on the subject of me. Right now I’m unable to leave the house because I’m waiting for the repairman… Stallion… Whatever, where was I? Oh yeah, I’m waiting for that guy who fixes things to come by so he can fix ‘Tavi’s shower, but I suppose afterwards I can go out and try to see for myself…”

“That’s the spirit Joseph, I’m glad you think that as well.”

“I suppose I can give it a try… But that still doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with the whole me being the only mate left for all the mares in town…”

“Oh I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Besides, look at the enjoyment in bed you can look forward to!”

Fiery stayed silent for a few seconds, but spoke up then. “I don’t know whether to think you’re being serious, or just screwing around… It’s very hard you know.”

“Eh, it’s a little of both. But is it a crime for a princess to have fun?”

“No… It’s just that… The way you express yourself is sort of… Surprising, is all.”

“I see… Not used to too many princesses are you?”

“Not many, no. Or any for that matter.”

“Well then, this will be our little secret then, nobody else needs to know about it.”

“A-alright…” He said feeling very uncomfortable about how the princess was acting at the moment.

“Anyways, I need to start heading back, I’m sure everypony is worried sick about where I am.”

‘Well at least I got to keep my weed.’

Almost on cue, Celestia interrupted his thoughts. “Oh, one more thing Joseph.”

“Um, yes Celestia?”

“I would appreciate it if you would give me that please.” She said pointing to the bag containing the drug. “We wouldn’t anypony finding it while you’re not around, do we?”

“I-I guess not…”

“Good then, I’ll go and dispose of it properly then. In the meantime, if you find anymore, please call me and I’ll come back right away.”

“Okay…” ‘Don’t know how I’m going to do that though…’

‘Simple, just use your mind and wish really hard to speak to me.’

“GAH! How the hell did you do that?” Fiery exclaimed after being shocked of hearing Celestia’s voice in his mind.

“Well I am a goddess. Besides, all ponies are able to communicate to me or my sister using their minds, it’s just that not too many ponies know about it nowadays because they have faster mail and such. I believe your friend Vinyl said something to you about it earlier?”

“Umm… Yeah… But how did you know that as well?”

“Sources.”

“Right… Your sources…”

“Now, I would appreciate it if you handed that bag over Joseph.”

Joseph looked down in defeat. ‘Damn, so close.’ “Yes ma’am.” He handed the bag over hesitantly at first, but gave in eventually.

“Good Joseph, thank you for doing that. Now, I believe there is somepony coming to your door, perhaps you should go greet them.” She said with a wink and then using her magic she teleported herself back to Canterlot.

After Celestia had vanished, Fiery thought to himself. ‘*Sniff* Goodbye good times…’

‘Oh quit being such a baby about it.’

‘Gah! I thought you said I had to wish really hard to speak to you!?’

‘Whoopsie… Yeah… That’s not exactly true.’

‘… Then what is true?’

‘Oh, both Luna and I can read minds whenever we want to for a few select ponies, you being one of them...’

‘… Great, so I got big brother literally watching over me… Also, is Vinyl one of your selected ponies?’

‘Wouldn’t it be more like big sister? Also, yes, she and one very bright pink pony in that town are, oh, and also your guest is coming up the steps to the door right now.’ Celestia spoke to Fiery in his mind. Just then, the doorbell rang.

‘This isn’t over.’ He responded back to Celestia, before heading downstairs to greet the pony at the door.

Vinyl and Octavia were searching the market for the ingredients for what Fiery had given them, as well as something that Vinyl apparently wanted to get. They had stayed quiet for the most part on the walk to the market when Octavia finally broke the silence. “Alright Vinyl, what are you up to?”

“What? Me? Do something? Why I never.”

“Oh please Vinyl, cut the act.”

Vinyl gave Octavia one of her many grins. “Alright ‘Tavi, you win. But just to let you know, I wasn’t really planning anything, honest. I just wanted to talk to you is all.”

“Well if you wanted to talk why couldn’t we do it back at the house? What’s so important that you have to bring me along with you for shopping?... Wait…”

Vinyl began to laugh a little. “Sometimes you’re so funny ‘Tavi. But enough of that, let’s hurry up the shopping so we can go somewhere where we can talk in private.”

“Alright Vinyl…” ‘Just what is she up to?’

After gathering all the ingredients, Vinyl and Octavia had gone to the park where they could chat in private without many ponies noticing what they were talking about. “So ‘Tavi… How do you feel about Fiery?”

Octavia looked at Vinyl funny. “This is a joke, right?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Octavia facehoofed. “Vinyl, if you’re not going to ask something serious we might as well get back home after we pick your thing up… Whatever it is…”

“Alright, alright, sorry ‘Tavi, just having a little fun is all… What I really want to ask is… How do you feel about Fiery and other mares?”

Octavia stayed silent for a few seconds before asking Vinyl. “What are you getting at Vinyl?”

“I’m just curious is all… I mean, you’ve noticed haven’t you?”

Octavia gave Vinyl another funny look. “Noticed what? What was I suppose to notice?”

“Oh ‘Tavi… Haven’t you noticed how all the mares in town are talking about Fiery lately?”

“Well I guess he would make quite a commotion after the party earlier this week, but I don’t see how that’s relevant to anything.”

“Ugh, that’s not it at all ‘Tavi. What I’m saying is that there are mares all around town who are interested in him… I’m asking you how you would feel about it.”

Octavia had to think about Vinyl had just said. ‘Other mares interested in Fifi? But, but, he’s mine!... No! He’s not mine, he’s ours I mean… But, he is interested in Fluttershy as well as me and Vinyl...”

“You know he’s really the only candidate around here ‘Tavi. I mean, let’s look at the remaining single stallions that are old enough legally to mate… There’s Big Macintosh. He’s always working on the farm that he almost never has time for anypony around here, and the mares have come to understand that, no matter how much they try to change his mind when he comes to town... There’s that Doctor Whooves character, I don’t know much about him but apparently he spends a lot of time away with Ditzy Doo, so he’s probably out. Then there’s Ace, but the only thing he’s interested in is his racket, and that’s it. Kinda freaky if you ask me. But lastly we have-“

“Caramel…”

“Right, and you know how bad he is around us mares, treating us like ‘one of the stallions’, telling us things that he’s too stupid to realize not to say out loud that nopony wants to be with him… Face it ‘Tavi, that only leaves Fiery left for about 100 mares. Do you really think he’s not going to be interested in just us three?”

“Alright fine, but I don’t get why you’re telling me all of this, because I already knew about it…”

“Because one, I want to find out if you’re okay with it. If you are, then I can tell you number two.”

Octavia hesitated… She was going to be jealous if Fiery ever did do something to forget something about her, but… He did promise to pay attention to her and Vinyl first, before any of the other mares… “Fine Vinyl… I guess I have no choice. After all, Ponyville is in a dire situation as it is thanks to those four stallions… Though I could’ve sworn there was a fifth…”

“You mean that one unicorn fella that fell for Cheerilee? Yeah, she took him almost immediately that nopony had a chance.”

“Ah, that’s right… So what was number two that you couldn’t tell me right after you told me number one?”

“The names of the mares who are interested of course.” Vinyl said with a grin right after.

Octavia took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know how you would know Vinyl…”

“Easy. When ponies come to my workplace, they always want to get liquored up, tends to loosen the mouth eh? When that happens word travels real fast.”

“I suppose that makes sense… Alright Vinyl, what are the names?”

“Well from what I’ve heard so far, there are three others who are very interested in him.”

“And they are?”

“Nurse Redheart and the spa twins, Aloe and Lotus. From what I hear, they don’t give out ‘happy endings’ to just anypony, or heal them in a ‘special’ way.” Vinyl winked each time she dropped the innuendo.

“Alright Vinyl, you can stop the innuendos, I get what you mean… So… Do you know of any more?”

“Not of late, but if word travels in the club, I’ll be sure to let you know ‘Tavi.”

“Alright… Thanks Vinyl, I mean it.”

“No prob ‘Tavi… I just want you to be happy.”

Octavia noticed something in how Vinyl worded her last sentence. “Vinyl… A-are you doing all of this just for me? I-I-I thought you liked Fifi as well!”

Vinyl laughed a little bit before taking off her glasses and looking at Octavia. “What in the world are you talking about ‘Tavi? Of course I love him, but… I love you much more…”

Octavia felt warm inside and smiled at her best friend. “Thanks Vinyl… I don’t know how to respond to your feelings, but… I appreciate them nevertheless…”

“It’s alright ‘Tavi, I just want us to be one big happy family is all.” Vinyl smiled back. They both felt warm inside as they looked at each other, and then hugged one another beginning to tear up in joy.

After several minutes of hugging and now crying, they finally broke apart. “I promise you Vinyl, I’ll make sure to return your feelings one of these days. I’ll defiantly make sure of it.” Octavia smiled at Vinyl, who once again smiled back.

“That’s alright ‘Tavi, take as much time as you need… Now, perhaps we should get going, as it seems we’ve been causing quite the scene.” Octavia looked around when Vinyl mentioned it and saw that many ponies were now looking at them in a confused state.

“Oh… I suppose we should… Come on, let’s go get whatever you wanted to get…” She said, grabbing the groceries from earlier, but felt a sudden tug. She saw that Vinyl had taken one of the bags off of her back.

“It’s only fair I think that I get to carry one of the bags, don’t you think?”

Octavia laughed a bit at her friend. “Indeed it is Vinyl…”

Vinyl and Octavia were walking for a while when they finally came across Berry Punch’s liquor store. “What are we doing here Vinyl?”

“To get some wine of course.”

“Is that what you wanted to get this entire time? You know, you could’ve just told me, not really anything to keep secret.”

“Oh, it’s not this place I want to keep secret from you. As for what I wanted to get, this is only one of the two things I wanted.” Vinyl grinned.

“Oh, then what is the place?”

“Well if I told you then it wouldn’t be a secret then, now would it?”

“I suppose not… Still mean of you to keep it secret from me though.”

They had gone into the liquor store to pick up the most expensive wine they could find. Berry Punch was behind the counter when she saw the two of them. “Vinyl! Octavia! Good to see you. What brings you to my store?”

“Hi Berry, we’re actually here to pick up some wine for dinner tomorrow night. We want the most expensive and best kind we can afford, if you don’t mind that is.” Vinyl replied to Berry Punch.

‘Dinner tomorrow night? Just what is Vinyl up to?’ Octavia thought to herself while Berry Punch and Vinyl conversed with each other.

“Sure thing Vinyl, just let me look in the back to see what’s there and get it for you.” Berry Punched smiled and started to go back through a door that was behind the counter.

For several minutes, Vinyl and Octavia were standing there by themselves waiting for Berry to return. “So… What’s this special dinner you have in mind tomorrow night?”

“Oh, just a little something I want to make for the three of us.”

“You think I’m letting you back into the kitchen after the mess you made this morning?”

“Oh ‘Tavi, don’t worry about it. I’m not the one who’s going to be doing the cooking tomorrow.”

“Then who is?”

“I want it to be a surprise.”

Octavia sighed, knowing she was defeated. “Alright Vinyl, you win, I’ll let it go for now.”

As they finally got done talking about the dinner, Berry had come back through the door with a bottle of red wine. “Here you guys go, this is the best I could find. 943 C.R. (Celestia’s Reign) Cabernet Sauvignon. It should be really good with any type of strong cheese, any pasta with red sauce, or chocolate.”

“That sounds good Berry, how much is it?”

“2,500 bits.”

Octavia’s jaw dropped. “T-t-two thousand five hundred!? Are you crazy Vinyl!? There’s no way we can afford that!” She yelled at her companion who was only grinning.

“Don’t worry ‘Tavi, I have this covered… Oh Berry dear.”

“Hmm? Yes Vinyl?”

“You remember that favor you still owe me from a while back?”

“Yes, but… Oh no, no way Vinyl. This bottle costs way too much for a favor, I’m not giving it away for free, not even for a good friend of mine.”

“Pleasssssssse.” Vinyl begged. She took off her glasses and started to give Berry Punch puppy dog eyes with her lower lip sticking out.

Vinyl kept doing this for a few moments before Berry started to finally give in. She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, fine Vinyl. But half price, that’s the cheapest I’m going. I still need to make some type of profit here after all. But this means I no longer owe you any favors, so don’t come back asking for another one.”

Vinyl put back on her glasses as well as her grin. “Alright Berry, fair enough.”

“So, will that be in bits or credit?”

But before Vinyl could answer, Octavia interrupted. “I’m sorry Berry, I need to talk to Vinyl for one moment.” She pulled Vinyl away from the counter and so they could be out of Berry Punch’s reach of hearing. She took in a deep breath before finally releasing her anger at Vinyl. “Are you crazy Vinyl!? Where are we going to get 1,250 bits!?”

“Relax ‘Tavi, it’s no worry at all.”

“No worry!? We don’t have that type of bits to be spending it on frivolous things! There’s no way we can afford this wine! We have been barely able to keep the house this far without a third roommate!... Look, let’s just go get something cheap, I’m sure we won’t notice the difference.”

“No way ‘Tavi, I said this was going to be on me and I tend to stick with it.”

“Ugh, Vinyl, I’d rather not file for bankruptcy because you wanted to get some expensive wine.”

“Oh please ‘Tavi, we aren’t going to become bankrupt because of this. Besides, have you forgotten about the party that we’re supposed to be performing at in a few days?”

“Vinyl, I don’t think that-“

“10,000 bits. Each.”

“… What?”

“That’s our pay for the party, and that’s AFTER income tax and all that. That comes up to 30,000 bits ‘Tavi. Let’s also not forget about all the big bits that those rich types give in tips.”

“And how do you know this?”

“I have my sources.”

“… You and your sources…”

“Listen, we don’t have to pay right now, we can just ask Berry to let us pay it off after we get our pay. I’m sure she’ll agree.”

“Ugh, fine Vinyl, but this wine better be damn worth it.”

“’Tavi, language, please.”

“You have no right to tell me that Vinyl, not after getting me riled up like this…”

Vinyl grinned and kissed Octavia on the tip of her snout. “Love you too ‘Tavi.” Octavia responded with rolling her eyes and sighing.

The two of them went back to the counter where Berry was still sitting there with the bottle. “Hey Berry? You mind if we pay you on Monday? We’re getting paid big this weekend and we’ll be able to pay you afterwards.”

“I suppose that’s alright Vinyl… Alright, fine, I’ll allow it. Just don’t forget to come through with your payment this time.”

“Oh come on Berry, have I ever forgotten to pay you before?” Berry raised her eyebrow at Vinyl and gave her a ‘are you kidding me?’ look. “Alright, maybe a few times… But don’t worry Berry, I’ll be sure to give you the bits this time.”

“Alright then Vinyl… Well then, is that going to be all for today you two?” She cheered up right away and asked them.

“Nope, I think that’s all we have for today. Thanks Berry.”

“Alright then you two, have fun.” Berry said to her customers and waved them goodbye.

“We will Berry, and thanks again.” Vinyl called back to her friend, also waving back, but while the two of them were walking out of the store’s door, Vinyl suddenly remembered. “Oh yeah, hold on ‘Tavi, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Umm, okay…”

Vinyl walked back into the store to ask Berry Punch a question. “hey Berry?”

“Yeah Vinyl? What is it?”

“I got a question about my new roommate…”

“Umm, I don’t see how I can help, but okay.”

“Well, I just want to know, have you heard anything around town about anypony liking him?”

Instead of being shocked at the question, Berry Punch actually took it into consideration as she began to think about it. “Is Octavia fine with this?”

“She was hesitant at first, but she finally saw it my way.”

“Alright then… Hmm, let me see… Have you heard about Nurse Redheart? Or about the spa twins?”

“Yeah, heard all three of them drinking and talking about him at the club the other night, I can’t seem to know anypony else though…”

“Hmm… I don’t know Vinyl, it’s been pretty quiet lately from what I heard… My employee’s over at the bar have probably heard a thing or two, I’ll go ask them as soon as I get the chance to do so.”

“Alright, thanks anyways then Berry, I appreciate it.”

“No problem Vinyl, and I’ll make sure to tell you right away if I do hear something.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you then Berry, bye!”She said waving her friend goodbye once again.

“See you later Vinyl!” Berry responded with a wave goodbye as well.

Octavia was still waiting outside for Vinyl as she came walking out. “What was that all about?”

“Ehh, just wanted to ask her something real quick, nothing really big.”

“Alright… So, where this new place we’re going to now?”

Vinyl grinned to her companion again. “Just follow me ‘Tavi and we’ll be on our way.” She stated, then the two of them started to head in the direction of their new destination.

Fiery began walking to the door to see who was there. He peered through the peephole expecting it to be the repairstallion, but instead there was a purple unicorn mare standing outside. “The hell?” He opened the door to meet her. “Umm, hi, can I help you?” He said to her. ‘Where in the world have I seen her before?...’

“Oh, good morning Fiery, do you remember me at all?”

“Umm…”

“Oh well, that’s fine if you can’t. Do you mind if I come in? Oh I can? Thank you.” She walked right inside without even giving Fiery time to respond. “Very lovely place you have here.”

Fiery was sort of shocked at how assertive this mare was that he stood in place confused about what had just happened, but was snap out of it. “Uh, I’m sorry, but, did your parents ever tell you it’s not polite to enter other pe- pony’s, homes without first getting permission?”

“And did your parents ever tell you it’s not polite to lie to others?” Fiery could sense she was getting at something, like she knew something she wasn’t supposed to. He had closed the door to the house and walked closer to her.

“What are you getting at?” He said in a threatening tone to her.

“Oh, nothing, I was just curious if you were really supposed to be here or not.”

“And what is THAT suppose to mean?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing at all.”

“Well it obviously meant something if you come here, barging into my house, and start interrogating me without a reason. Now, spill it, what are you getting at or so help me God-“

‘Ah ah ah, no violence against my little ponies.’

“… Fine… What are you after? Money? Is that what you want? Knowing some type of secret of mine’s and now you’re trying to blackmail me?”

“Oh, no, I’m not here for money Fiery… Or should I call you Joseph!?” She stopped in her tracks while she was circling around him and yelled.

‘Fuck! How does she know!?’

‘If you really must know… Her name is Twilight Sparkle and-‘

‘Wait, as in the girl who I told to fuck off to at the party? Fluttershy’s friend?’

‘The very same.’

‘Well stop her! Or should I tell both her and the entire town about how you brought me here!?’

‘Oh Joseph… Who do you think my little ponies are going to believe more, you? Or my apprentice and their goddess of a princess?’

‘Wait, she’s your fucking apprentice!?’

The entire time Fiery was talking to Celestia in his head, Twilight looked at him confused. “Um… Hello?” ‘Horseapples, did I do something wrong already? I think I’ve done everything the book had told me to do so far.’ She tried to think back on the book she was reading earlier, “Ways to get ponies to tell the truth: Edition 101.”

Meanwhile, Fiery and Celestia were still using their minds to talk to one another. ‘Is there any way to convince her to stop this!?’

‘No, pretty much once she sets her mind to it, she won’t stop until she gets what she wants. Oh, but to help you a little bit, Luna did lie to her last night about you being a gryphon instead of a human, as we actually have those here in this world.’

‘Great… Just fucking great…’

“Um, excuse me?”

“WHAT!?”

Twilight jumped back at Fiery’s sudden explosion. “You can’t yell at me like that! That’s just rude!”

“Rude? RUDE!? I’m not the one who fucking barges into people’s houses and interrogate them for no god damn reason!”

‘That’s the second time I’ve heard the term ‘people’… What does it mean? Is it something gryphons call themselves? And what is ‘god’?’ “Well at least I don’t lie and tell other ponies about being a pony when I’m really not!”

Fiery stayed silent for a while before finally slowly clapping (clopping?) his hooves together. “Oh, well done Ms. Sparkle, well done… So you end up sneaking up on me and listen in on a private conversation between me and ‘Tavi, then you come here to threaten me. Very good indeed, I never knew you could be such a bitch.”

“Threaten you!? First off, I didn’t come here to threaten you, I only want to know the truth. Princess Celestia has given me a very important task and I’ll do anything to get it done! And second off, I would deeply appreciate it if you stop cursing at me and my friends!” She began to simmer as she was getting frustrated at Fiery.

‘YOU! We’re having a discussion after I finally get done with this!’

‘Uh oh, oh, well would you look at that, I gotta get going, bye Fifi!’ Celestia ceased connection with their minds as Fiery tried talking back to her.

‘Celestia? Celestia!? God damnit get back here!... Fuck!’ He facehoofed at the stress he was receiving right now. “Look, I’m expecting someone soon. So, if you promise that you can leave now and forget about asking me again, not only will I NOT press charges for you breaking and entering my house, but I’ll give you a chance to apologize to me and allow you explain yourself.”

“Me!? I’m the one who’s asking the questions and demanding an apology! You weren’t the one who was humiliated at that party! I’m not moving an inch until you explain yourself.”

“You’re in no position for compromise bitch, you come in here without being told you could, and now you expect me to do what you want me to do? No, get out now or I’m getting whoever is equivalent to the cops here.”

“No way! I’m not moving an inch until you explain yourself.”

“… Damnit! Fine! Stay here then, I’m going upstairs for a bit and don’t you move, otherwise, I will call the guards or whatever!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!” Fiery yelled back at her and stormed off upstairs.

Fiery was still pissed about the situation that had just occurred and went upstairs to smoke one more of his cigarettes. ‘I don’t give a shit if there’ll only be six left, fuck it, I need it right now.’ He began to think to himself. But before he could go outside on the balcony and smoke on, the doorbell rang once more. ‘God damnit!’

Fiery came downstairs where Twilight was still waiting. “Stay here.” He commanded her, still bitter. He went to the door and opened it. “What!? What do you want!?” He yelled at a pony standing there. It was the repairstallion.

The stallion recoiled from the sudden burst of rage that was directed towards him, but rather than running away, he stood his ground and told his business. “Um, I’m here to fix a shower…” The stallion standing there said, standing in overalls with a tool belt around what was supposed to be his waist and a tool box on one side.

“Oh… Right, sorry about that, just having a really f-… bad, morning is all…” He calmed down at the repairstallion.

“Oh… Um, I’m sorry to hear that?” The stallion tried coming up with something to say for Fiery. “Um… Can I come in to fix that shower now?”

“Oh, right, sorry. Come in, please. I’ll go show you the way to the shower.”

“That would be most appreciated, got another three appointments today that I need to get done before work is over.”

“Oh, okay then…”

They both began going up the stairs completely ignoring Twilight. As they reached Octavia’s room, they opened the door. When they did that though, they stood there shocked.

In the room it was mostly pink, and by that it was literally pink all over. The curtains, the sheets, the blankets, the bed, the dresser, the mirror, everything! The only thing NOT pink was the cello, the case for it, and anything else that went with it.

“Wow… Um, you sure like pink…”

“It’s my roommate’s… But, Jesus…”

“Uh… Perhaps we shouldn’t be standing there, so how about we go fix that shower?”

“Yeah… Geez man…” Fiery began to walk over to the bathroom, and not surprising, the whole bathroom was bright pink as well. “It’s like I walked into the twilight zone or some shit…” Fiery muttered to himself.

The repairstallion began to work on the shower immediately. After an hour of fixing, the repairstallion finally fixed the shower while explaining what was wrong with it to Fiery. “Well, that’s about everything I can tell ya that was wrong with the shower.” He finally finished explaining.

“Alright, thanks…”

“Um…”

“Yes? Is there something wrong?” Fiery asked him.

“Uh, it’s just that… All we have to take care of now is the method of payment…”

‘…Fuck, that’s right…’ “Um, this is kinda awkward… You see, I’m not the one with the money for this, my roommate is. Is there any way you can bill us instead?”

“Sure, we can do that just fine.”

“Alright, thank you very much once more.”

“No problem, but you can tell the little miss behind ya that she doesn’t have to stay so silent next time.” The stallion nodded over in the direction behind Fiery, who turned around to find Twilight standing there.

“You little… Look, is it alright that you can give me the bill right now?”

“Uh… Sure…” The stallion began to dig around his tool box for something “Let me see… Ah! Here we are.” The stallion pulled out a yellow piece of paper and started to fill it out as for what was needed for the job. After he was done, the stallion finally gave the piece of paper to Fiery. “Here we are, hope to hear from you soon.” The stallion smiled at Fiery and left.

After it seemed that the stallion was out of hearing range, Fiery turned back to Twilight. “What the hell did I tell you?”

“What? You didn’t really expect me to sit still for an hour with nothing to do, did you?”

Fiery facehoofed. “Look… Just leave, alright? I’m in no mood for this bullshit right now.”

“And I said no! I’m not leaving until you explain yourself!”

“Why!? Why the fuck does it matter!?”

“Because I don’t want some beast going around the town terrorizing everypony! I want to make sure he doesn’t do anything like that at all!”

‘Beast!? I’m not the one who’s a fucking pony!… God damnit…’ “Look, if I tell you that I’m not going to harm any’pony’, will you please leave? I’m seriously on the verge of doing something drastic you’re pissing me off so much.”

“… Fine, if you say you’re going to do something drastic because I’m here, I’ll go. But don’t think this is over! You will tell me soon!”

“Fine! Whatever you want. Now will you please, for the love of God, get out of my house!?”

“Fine! I didn’t want to stay anyways!”

“Fine!”

Twilight began to go down the stairs as she looked back at him standing at the top. “You know, I heard from Fluttershy that you were supposed to be nice, but apparently she was dead wrong about that. Good day!” She turned back to the door and stormed out of the house.

Fiery sighed as the purple menace had finally left the house. “God damnit, what the hell am I suppose to do with that bitch?... Damnit, whatever, I don’t even want a cigarette now.” Fiery began to head to his room deciding that now the best course of action was instead use up one of his remaining seven cigarettes, was to go take a nap while listening to music.

As he got to his room, he noticed he was missing something for his Iphone. “Headphones, great… Just fucking great…” He plopped down on his bed ready to just give up when he noticed something right next to him on the bed.

A brand new pair of headphones, with a note beside it. He took the note and began to read it. ‘Hope you enjoy these Joseph, as I noticed you didn’t have any earlier. They should fit your Iphone. From your favorite princess, Celestia.’

“… When the hell did she notice? And when the hell is she my favorite?... Ugh, this day just keeps getting weirder and weirder…” But he thought he shouldn’t complain, considering how she got him the headphones… No matter how weird it was that she knew what to get despite them not having that many electronics (at least no Iphones equivalents) or how she got them.

Fiery took his Iphone, plugged in the new headphones, and began to listening to songs on shuffle beginning to fall asleep on his bed. ‘Man… Now that I think about, Celestia was right; this is a really nice bed.’ He fell asleep on his bed, having a magical adventure in his dreams.

Meanwhile, in Canterlot, a certain alicorn princess was also having a magical adventure of her own ‘disposing’ something she had gotten earlier from a certain brown earth pony…

Ugh, Chapter 14 out with over 7k words… Longest chapter yet. Anyways, couple of things I’d like to say. First off, sorry if the quality of this chapter was worse than the others, as I was kinda getting tired while writing it, so I couldn’t think as well. Would be better if I had pre-readers *cough cough* Ahem, excuse me, got something in my throat. Second off is that I was thinking of making this chapter longer, but thought that last line was a good place to leave off at. Third and final thing is that I’m probably going to be taking a few days off from writing cause this chapter sorta burnt me out… Though I say that, I’m sure one of two things are going to happen. Either I’m going to totally forget about having these stories, or I’m going to be writing some more later tonight because this stuff is addictive… Probably the latter. Also, not thinking of 100 mares, that’s just too silly (aka I can’t think of 100 mares to do it) but I will probably add a few more than the other 3 I mentioned in this chapter. Oh! And finally I forgot to mention. Before any of you ask, yes, Berry Punch owns everything liquor related in Ponyville. See you next chapter!