We Don't Normally Wear Clothes

by Jay David

Chapter 1: We Don't Normally Wear Clothes

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So, here she was. Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, had once more arrived in the world of humans. She had been called here because of the friends who lived in this world, human versions of the ones she had back in Equestria, who needed her aid against a new threat, a group of girls known as the Dazzlings, who, in reality, were really a trio of mythical Equestrian beings known as Sirens. Having already tried to thwart their plans, and failed, Twilight knew that a new way to deal them would be needed.

However, there was the issue of where she and Spike, who once more had joined her, were going to stay until she was finished. And that was when Pinkie Pie had given her offer, for Twilight, Spike and all the rest of the girls to have a big sleepover at her place. Having literally nowhere else to go, Twilight had naturally accepted. And so, they had all arrived in Pinkie's home, which was more or less how Twilight had expected it. Balloons, streamers, and all manner of bright colourful objects lining the place.

As Twilight looked around, she hoped deep down that this sleepover would run at least a little smoother than her first attempt at such a gathering, which, thanks to the strife between Applejack and Rarity, hadn't turned out as well as she hoped. However, that thought was quieted by yet another, as she glanced over to the only other person here who was from Equestria like she and Spike were. Sunset Shimmer, Celestia's pupil before Twilight. The two had been enemies the first time they met, but that was a long time ago, and now it seems that they'd be working together against far darker foes.

That train of thought was interrupted quite suddenly by the untimely arrival of Pinkie, who promptly embraced Twilight in a near-suffocating hug.

"Oh my gosh! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Twilight gave a nervous chuckle at that display.

"Er, yeah. Looking forward to it."

Glancing to her side, she saw that most of the other girls, even Sunset, were chuckling at this behaviour from Pinkie, to which Twilight couldn't blame them. However, she was soon dropped by the bubbly girl, who then darted off with a gasp to one of the nearby closets lining the walls of her bedroom. Twilight looked to the others, who simply shrugged their shoulders at this, before Pinkie was right back in her face, and appeared to be holding something behind her back.

"You probably don't have any in this world, so I got you these!"

She produced the mystery item from behind her, and to Twilight's surprise it was a set of what, in this world, was known as pyjamas, bright yellow in colour. Although somewhat taken aback by this gift, Twilight nevertheless accepted it and gave Pinkie a smile, showing her appreciation. Pinkie's own smile after this was so wide that Twilight was afraid it would burst out of her head, but thankfully, the pink-haired girl then gasped a second time and ran over to the other girls, all of whom took an instinctive step backwards.

"I almost forgot! We haven't got the marshmallows yet!"

Before anyone could say anything, Pinkie darted off downstairs, with the rest all staring at the cloud of dust she made in her wake. The girls all chuckled at this before most of them began to make their way after her, the promise of marshmallows simply too good to ignore. After they'd left however, all that remained in that room was Twilight and Spike, who simply looked at each other, their expression making it clear that some things just never change.

"Well then...guess I'd better put this on."

Spike, looking at the yellow outfit in Twilight's hands, nodded at that. However, as he kept watching, he saw her attempt to try and slip it one whilst still wearing her regular clothes. A loud and forceful cough on his part got her attention, and as he silently gestured to her current attire, she gave a somewhat embarrassed chuckle.

"Right. Better undress first."

She placed the pyjamas on the side for the time being and raised her hands up to the top button of her shirt. But before she unbuttoned it, she glanced over to the open closet, which Pinkie had left open. Curiosity gripped her as she approached, looking within and seeing the many outfits hanging up inside it.

"Geez. Look at all this! The Pinkie in our world never had this many outfits. This was more Rarity's thing."

Spike shrugged his shoulders as he walked alongside her.

"Yeah, humans do really seem to love these things."

A thought then occurred to Spike as he tilted his head, still keeping his eyes on the assembled outfits in the closet.

"Maybe they're embarrassed about being without them?"

Twilight looked down at her currently-canine assistant before letting out a scoffing sound.

"That's ridiculous. Do you see ponies being embarrassed about walking around naked all the time?"

Spike considered that before giving a begrudging nod to Twilight, acknowledging her point. The young Princess pondered on all this for a few moments before stretching out one of her arms and placing her other hand upon it's bare skin.

"Maybe it's a warmth thing. Ponies have fur, but humans don't. And now that I think about it, I have been feeling a lot more chilly as a human."

As she dwelt on that, a new thought came to mind.

"Then again, the recent temperatures aren't exactly a risk to their health, at least not at this time of year."

Spike let out a groan as he slapped his forehead.

"Oh no, tell me you're not going all "mad scientist" on me again, are you Twilight?"

Twilight looked down at him with a somewhat indignant look.

"I am not mad when I do science."

Spike looked up at her and responded to that statement with a single raised eyebrow, before Twilight began to relent.

"Well...not completely mad at least."

The small purple dog chuckled at that before turning away from her, ready to head downstairs along with the others. Before he could reach the door however, he was stopped by Twilight, who let out a gasp. Spike had been with her long enough to know that an idea was forming in her mind, which promptly led to him letting out a groan, followed by him walking back to where he was before. Looking up at her, he saw her usual expression of excitement as she spoke.

"I've got a great idea, Spike! I'm one of the only ponies who has ever become a human. I know we've got a lot to do in this world, but I can't just walk away from an opportunity to study this species more closely. I might even write a book on it when we get home."

Spike had no doubt of that, but was unable to say so before Twilight spoke again.

"First things first. Spike, take notes."

Twilight's number one assistant started looking around before eventually spotting a nearby notepad and pencil. Walking over to it, he reached out, only to be hit with the sudden reminder that, in this world, he had no hands, merely the paws of a dog. In this moment, he suddenly gained a newfound appreciation for how difficult it must be for non-magical ponies to write stuff back in Equestria. So, he simply elected to pick up the pencil with his mouth before readying the pad, awaiting Twilight's dictation.

The young Princess started her attempt at human studies by unbuttoning her shirt, which soon led to the thing simply being slumped on the floor. Twilight looked down at her torso, as did Spike, only to find herself looking at yet another item of clothing, white in colour and covering the upper section of her chest.

"What in the hay is that thing?" Spike asked.

Twilight shrugged at that.

"I don't know. But it's got to be there for a reason so...so...ugh!"

Her current stress was from trying to find out exactly how to remove this item from her, not easily able to see how one removed it or even put it on. However, the sudden sound of a throat being cleared led her to look down at Spike.

"I think there's a clasp thing on the back."

Twilight raised an eyebrow at that.

"On the back? Why would anypony put it there of all places? You can't even see it to handle it properly from back there. Why not at the front? Wouldn't it be easier to get to it that way?"

Spike frowned a little.

"Why are you asking me? I'm not the one who made it!"

As she dwelt on that, her mind began to cast up even more questions.

"Come to think of it...why did the mirror give me these clothes to begin with? Did it think I'd like them? Was there a seclection I could have chosen from?"

These questions merely led to another set of shrugged shoulders from Spike, who was only barely paying attention at this point, given that his curiosity didn't anywhere near match Twilights. So, he simply carried on taking notes as instructed. Twilight, having moved on from her current line of questioning, got back to the task at hand, and so tried repeatedly to remove this bizarre white clothing item, but was oblivious to the sound of approaching footsteps as the other girls began to re-enter the room, headed by Rarity.

"I must say, Pinkie, I cannot understand how you need so much whipped crea-ARGH!"

It was here that Rarity, as well as all the other girls, caught sight of Twilight while she was still in the middle of undressing. The fashionista's mouth was hanging wide open, Fluttershy's face became bright red as she tried to hide it behind her long hair, and the others all just stared at her with surprised expressions. Twilight finally noticed them, but seemed unconcerned with their presence and stares.

"Ah, good! I'm glad you're here. Could one of you help me get this thing off?"

There was a long and incredibly awkward silence following that request, which was followed by Rarity fumbling her words a little before finally getting out a response.

"Twi...Twi...Twilight? What are you doing?!"

Twilight looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I decided that, since I'm human, I might as well conduct an experiment of sorts. And Spike's just helping me."

Rarity's eyes, if possible, widened even further. Behind her, both Rainbow Dash and Applejack began to look at each other before starting to smile mischievously. Sunset, meanwhile, was simply slapping her forehead over this. Twilight, in the meantime, just carried on doing what she was doing, or trying to at least, as Rarity just kept on trying to grasp what was going on.

"An...an experiment? With Spike? Erm...I know a young woman has needs, but...didn’t you say he was, er...very young?"

Twilight, not getting the subtext of that statement, nodded.

"Yeah. Technically he's still a baby by his race's standards, but him and me have been doing this sort of thing for years."

Rainbow and Appleajck were barely able to contain the enormous amount of laughter that threatened to escape their mouth at this point. Fluttershy's face had long ago been lost amongst the massive pink of her hair. And as for Pinkie, she seemed to have otherwise occupied herself with a can of whipped cream she'd brought up with her from the kitchen. Twilight though was still completely nonplussed about why her friends were reacting this way.

"Don't worry. Once I get all these clothes off, then the real work begins."

And it was at this point that Rarity's brain seemed to have taken as much of this misunderstanding as it could handle, as she promptly feinted in the most over-dramatic way anyone could have thought possible. Rainbow and Applejack's tolerance had reached it's limit and both burst out laughing, their sides threatening to split with the strain of it. Sunset, having stopped slapping her forehead with frustration, afforded herself a brief chuckle at all this. And Twilight? Both she and Spike looked at this bizarre behaviour from their assembled friends before the young Princess put both hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at all of them.

"Was it something I said?"

Next Chapter: Oh, so THAT'S what it's for! Estimated time remaining: 10 Minutes
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