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Ditz and Spitz: Origin of Derpy

by Poinger

Chapter 4: Part 3: Harsh Words

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Spitfire yawned loudly as she slowly winged her way toward the Wonderbolts' aerodrome. Though situated a fair distance outside of and significantly closer to the ground than Cloudsdale, it was still a majestic sight. As a training facility and a performance dome, it was nearly twice the size of the Cloudeseum, featuring not only cloud seating, but ground bleachers and high-rise VIP boxes to cater to the Wonderbolts' significant land pony fan-base. Seeing the white marble structure was usually one of the high points of her morning and never failed to instill a sense of awe and pride in her, though today the feeling was lessened significantly by the large number of reporter ponies crowding the performer's entrance, barely barred from entry by numerous security ponies.

On seeing her approach, the crowd exploded towards her in a rush, security hurriedly moving forward to prevent them from mobbing her.

"Spitfire, any comment on—"

"—old friend Ditzy?"

"Spitfire, are you and—"

"Spitfire, have the Wonderbolts—"

"—word on Ditzy Doo's-"

"—confirmed fillyfooler?"

There were too many voices around her, all clashing together, but hearing Ditzy's name chilled her. She schooled her face to hide her shock. She'd dealt with the press before: give them nothing, and they could say nothing concrete. It must have been a coincidence. This recent fillyfooler rumor about her must have caused ponies to question if her long-time friend had been something more. She began to calm down, her fears averted.

"STAY BACK! This way, Ms. Spitfire."

Security had carved her a path to the entrance and she shot them a grateful look as she hustled into the building.

She made her way through the facility to the break room, where Soarin sat waiting, finishing up his breakfast whilst glaring at the newspaper with a scowl. She frowned; whatever was going on, it must have been bad to sour his normally cheerful, friendly mood. Best get to the bottom of this quickly. She put on her most winning smile. "Hey, Soarin. What's up? You look like somepony canceled a bake sale."

He didn't laugh.

Her smile faltered some, and she tried again. "Soo… what's with all these reporters, huh? Didn't think we were doing a press release today."

His response was livid with accusation and sarcasm. "Well, I don't know, captain, think it has something to do with this?" He slid the newspaper, an Equestria Today, over to her, open to the front page.

As she read the headline article, her eyes widened in shock. "FAMOUS FLYER DITZY DOO DISCUSSES WONDERBOLTS IN SECRET WITH TEAM LEADER SPITFIRE." She felt a chill: they knew. Somepony must have seen her enter Ponyville, must have told the press. She pushed the paper away forcefully.

Soarin brought her out of her daze. "What's wrong? You get tired of having me as your Second? Wanted your old flying buddy back instead of—"

She slammed her hoof down on the table. "SOARIN… don't. Just don't." All humor drained from her face. She glared daggers at him before turning away and storming off toward the lockers, afraid of what she might do to him if she didn't look away. He’d looked startled; she doubted he’d ever seen her this angry before. He followed right behind her, catching up to her as she began to stuff her flightsuit into her saddlebags.

"Where are you going?"

She neither slowed down nor turned to face him. "Ponyville. I gotta deal with this."

"You can't just leave! What about the training? We have a show coming up and you can't just run off—"

She slammed the locker shut, cutting him off. She sighed and finally turned to face him, a defeated look in her eyes. "Look… she doesn't remember anything, okay? Any of it before the accident. She finally had a little peace in that village, and now she's going to be mobbed by those camera vultures, constantly pestered and yelled at and she won't even know why." Her voice grew vehement. "But she's still my friend, and I got her into this press mess, so I'm gonna go to Ponyville, and neither you nor the training schedule will keep me from helping my friend."

His anger deflated and his shoulders slumped, his voice hesitant and defeated. "Yeah… look, I'm sorry, okay? I just… go help your friend. I'll slot in one of the rookies, or something."

Spitfire understood his jealousy, even if it was unfounded. She put her hoof on his shoulder and gave him a small smile. "You earned your spot here, Soarin. Don't ever tell yourself you didn't, okay? You are my Second, not her."

He perked up somewhat, blushing slightly; it seemed she'd known exactly what was bothering him. "Yeah… thanks, Spitfire. You want me to distract the press?"

"Yeah, you do that. I'll go out the service entrance. Thanks."

Shortly thereafter, Spitfire flew off toward Ponyville, once again clad in her unremarkable flight saddle and flying cap. Her face was a mask of determination. She'd promised herself she'd help Ditzy, and these reporters could ruin her friend's life in an instant. She was not about to let that happen. Ditzy deserved the happy little life she had, and no reporter was going to ruin that for her… assuming they hadn't already. She pushed herself faster.


Ditzy woke up three seconds before her alarm clock began to ring at her. She let it go on for a while before she managed to summon the energy to place her hoof between the bells. She almost fell back asleep, but finally surrendered to the morning and rolled out of her bed. Last working-day this week, she kept reminding herself, and what a mantra it was. She just wanted the whole week to be over. Between the camera-pony and all the ponies in town clamoring at her about Spitz… one more day. She began her routine of making muffins and waking up her daughter, and for once her little filly got out of bed eagerly. They ate quickly and began the long walk to school, Dinky energetically bouncing alongside her mother.

The source of her excitement was not long kept a secret. "Ms. Sparkler said she thinks I'm ready to levitate two things at once now. Isn't that cool, Mommy?"

Ditzy smiled. She was proud her Dinky was making such progress with her magic. Since she couldn't teach her daughter by herself, she was afraid she would lag behind the other unicorn fillies without the help of a tutor like Sparkler. Dinky's progress came as a great relief. "Yes, Muffin, it sounds very cool."

"Yeah, she said she may even teach me how… to juggle…" Dinky’s smile faded as the two ponies slowed to a stop, the schoolhouse coming into view a short distance away.

There were two clearly separate groups of ponies on the school yard: one was a large group of reporter ponies which occasionally attempted to question Ms. Cheerilee, and the other a mixture of parents, their children, and Ms. Cheerilee herself, who threw icy glares at any reporter who dared to cross the divide between the groups, a divide that seemed to be maintained by her sheer willpower alone. As Ditzy came into view, the reporters turned on her, though it was unclear if they were running toward her, or away from Ms. Cheerilee.

Ditzy felt panic well up as the swarm descended on her, quickly placing a hoof around Dinky so she wouldn't lose her in the crowd. The filly looked toward her mother and scooted up against her, wide-eyed and head swiveling in response to the seemingly endless flashbulbs.

"Ms. Doo, any comment on the Wonderbolts?"

"Ditzy, can you confirm that Spitfire is a fillyfooler?"

"Ms. Doo, are you coming out of retirement?"

"Ms. Doo, any comment on—"

"Dizty, are you being—"

"—new Wonderbolts career?"

"Why the secrecy, Ms.—?"

"Ditzy—"

"Ditzy!"

"Ms. Doo, any—"

It quickly descended to a jumble of shouting voices, but some of the questions brought the tickle back into her mind with a vengeance, turning it into a throbbing headache. She gripped Dinky tightly, pulling her close, and swung her head around, desperately searching for a friendly face in the mob.

She finally found one; Ms. Cheerilee was making her way through the crowd through a combination of insistent, but polite, brushing aside of newsponies and the occasional frigid stare when they refused to yield. She gratefully allowed her to take Dinky off her hooves, and began to walk away from the schoolhouse. As she took off toward the mailhouse, she got away from some of the ground newsponies, but was forced to contend with a plethora of orbiting pegasi. Flying in the correct direction was difficult enough for her at the best of times: she often had to stop and find landmarks to correct her crooked flights. With the reporters constantly buzzing around her, it was nearly impossible. She picked what she hoped was the right way and flew off hastily, still shaken by the reporters who quickly followed.


Rainbow Dash was flying back toward her floating home from an early morning cloudmoving when she saw the commotion down in Ponyville. A huge throng of reporters and villagers were slowly heading toward the post office, the blond mane and grey coat of Ditzy Doo only visible for the briefest of instants at the center of the crowd. The flare of jealousy she’d harbored renewed itself with vigor; it seemed Ditzy was getting to be famous after all. Never mind that Dash had saved Spitfire's life, never mind that she was best young flyer: Ditzy got the press, not her. Ditzy met with Wonderbolts, not her. She ripped her gaze from the horrid scene, her eyes watering slightly, due solely to the cold morning wind, of course. She sped up, wanting to get away from the whole scene as fast as possible. Still in her emotional daze, it took her a second to notice there was a yellow pegasus flying next to her.

"Hey… Rainbow Dash, right? Hold up, I need to talk to you."

She would recognize that voice anywhere. She screeched to a halt along with the other pegasus and a quick once-over of the pony confirmed it. "Spitfire? Oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh!"

Spitfire pulled away from her a bit, apparently startled by her sudden excitement at meeting the Wonderbolt. The celebrity facehoofed with a frustrated groan. "Yeah, it's me. Look, I don’t have time for—"

"Oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh!"

"Hey, look—”

"Oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh!"

"—Dash…"

"Oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh oh-my-gosh!"

Spitfire put her hooves on Rainbow's shoulders and shook her lightly. "Focus!" She obediently quieted and Spitfire gave a small sigh of relief. "I'm looking for Ditzy, Rainbow Dash. Have you seen her around?"

Her excitement melted visibly, her wide smile turning to a scowl. It figured. For a brief, glorious moment, she'd believed Spitfire had actually wanted to talk to her. Her response was sour despite her best efforts. "Oh, yeah. Of course you want to talk to her. Last I saw, she was surrounded by reporter ponies near the post office. She isn't hard to miss, just look for the huge throng of ponies and the blinding flashbulb convention."

Spitfire broke into a series of muttered curses that left Rainbow shocked before she returned to the matter at hand. "Hmmm. I'll have to get her out of that, somehow…"

"Hey, I know. Why don't you both keep saying you don't know each other? Seemed to work so far, well, up until now that is."

Her comment was tinted with bitterness and Spitfire quickly rounded on her. "Wait, what? What's your problem, Rainbow?"

Dash's pent-up frustrations poured out before she could even begin to think of stopping them. "I'm the one who's been looking up to you since… forever! I'm the one who saved your life, I'm the one who trained to fly like you, I'M the one who wants to be a Wonderbolt. All she ever did was lie about knowing you and drop off the mail. She flies like a drunk brick, but you want to talk to her? It just isn't… IT ISN'T FAIR!" She was left short of breath and panting after her outburst, and her face began to pale as she realized just who she'd been shouting at.

The celebrity's face bore a stone-cold frown. She slowly flew forward until her nose was only inches away from the other pegasus's. Her tone was as cold as her face was. "For your information, Dash, I made her promise not to tell anypony that she knew me. I like you, but you need to grow up and see that this isn't about you. From what I've heard just now, you haven't read the newspaper yet, so you don't know the whole story, and I do still owe you, so I might not buck your face in if you refrain from insulting my friend again."

Dash's voice was slightly queasy. Spitfire's anger wasn't exactly subtle. "You made her—Why would you make her promise something like that?"

"I don't have time to explain. Look, I need your help to get those reporters off of Ditzy. You gonna help me with this or not?"

"If… if you still want me to, yeah. Sure." Dash's voice had gone very quiet, and her face sported a deep blush.

She nodded. "I need you to, Dash. I’m not just going to up and forgive you for this, but that can wait. Here's what you have to do…"


Rainbow Dash's head spun as she forced her way through the crowd of villagers and press ponies toward Derpy. Was Spitfire ashamed of being associated with somepony like Derpy? No, she couldn't believe that; not after how she'd acted. She finally got within sight range of Derpy—Ditzy, she corrected herself, and she felt a wave of shame wash over her. It was clear that she was not enjoying the attention as Rainbow had believed. Maybe that was why Spitfire had made her promise, she thought, because Ditzy didn't like the attention… jeeze, it looks like she’s almost as bad around the press as Fluttershy.

Her guilty mind attacked her relentlessly. And you tried to make her break that promise didn't you? You were just gonna pressure her into doing what you wanted and leave her to this mob. You would have lied too if Spitfire made you promise something. All she was doing was being loyal to her friend, and you called her a walleye and a featherbrain. She cringed. First her words to Ditzy had been less than kind, then she went and made a fool of herself in front of her idol. She squared her shoulders and continued to move through the crowd with renewed vigor. There’s nothing for it; I’m gonna help Spitfire and set things right, even… even if I have to apologize to Ditzy Doo.


As Ditzy made her way into town, her progress toward the mailhouse was slowed significantly by a fresh mass of waiting reporters and villagers attracted to the commotion and paparazzi. She was overwhelmed by all the attention, her head was pounding from all their questions and the flashbulbs. Her constant requests that they leave her alone or let her get to work went entirely ignored. She finally made her way into the mailhouse, the crowd surging in behind her. One of her coworkers managed to elbow his way through and push her into the boss-stallion's office, some other mailponies firmly preventing the crowd from following her behind the package counter into employee-only territory.

The boss's office was a small, chaotic room, with piles of paper on every conceivable surface organized in a system only the boss-stallion seemed to know. His window blinds were blissfully closed, shutting out the reporters.

"Hey, Ditzy, so you finally made it—Woah." As he turned from sorting through some files piled on a chair, the boss-stallion finally got a good look at her. She was still a bit pale and shaking slightly, her wings pulled in tight to her body. She was rubbing her forehead with a stifled groan.

"I’m sorry, sir. The camera-ponies made it a bit hard to get here."

He peeked through his blinds quickly to see firsthoof the reporter swarm that had so jammed up his post office. "Yeah, I can see that. Look, Ditzy… you can't deliver mail this way. Not just because it'd slow ya down too much, but we can't just have a whole stampede of ponies going up on somepony's property every time you try to deliver a letter. Take the day off and deal with this, okay? Then you can come back Monday to business as usual."

Her heart sank, though she kept a smile on her face. If she was delivering the mail, she had an excuse not to answer the camera-ponies and maybe they'd leave her alone, like Flash Bulb had. If she walked out of here without mailbags, they'd be all over her. But there was nothing for it; the boss-stallion had a point. "Yes, sir. I’ll see you Monday."

The walk back out of the mailhouse was a lot harder than the walk in: more newsponies had shown up and a large number of Ponyville residents had also joined the press of bodies. By the time she had made it out the front door, she was almost completely immobilized. The questions had redoubled, as if to make up for time lost while she was in the boss's office.

"Ditzy Doo, can you confirm that Spitfire is leaving the Wonderbolts?"

"Ditzy Doo, are you and Spitfire fillyfoolers?"

"Please… leave me alone. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please… "

Her voice went unheard. She shrunk in on herself; she was so confused. What were they talking about? Why wouldn't they leave her alone?

Ditzy had just seen Rainbow's face in the crowd when the mass around her suddenly shifted and pulled back from her somewhat. Looking up she saw her friend Spitz, clad in a blue flightsuit, come shooting down from the sky. She landed a short distance away from the reinvigorated throng and stood waiting calmly. The reporters, having garnered little from Ditzy, quickly turned on their new prey.

Spitfire baited them along, flashing a warm, 'celebrity' smile. "Ladies and gentlestallions of the associated press, as Ditzy is still recovering from her accident, I will be answering a limited number of questions in her stead before I return to the aerodrome."

As the reporters and no small number of village ponies flocked to the celebrity, Rainbow Dash trotted up to her and whispered in her ear. "C'mon, Ditzy, follow me. She'll ditch the reporters and meet us at my house." She gave the still disoriented Ditzy a little shove to get her going, and the two of them snuck, as much as Ditzy was capable of sneaking, into a nearby alleyway. From there, they quickly made their way across town, which was now blessedly void of reporters, and up to her magnificent cloud home.


Ditzy immediately collapsed on a nearby couch as Rainbow Dash moved a cloud to block the open doorway. They existed in awkward silence for a while, both remembering their last meeting. Rainbow Dash finally shuffled over to the couch, standing next to her collapsed form. "Hey, uh, Ditzy…"

She turned to look at Dash, with a forced smile on her face. "Oh, thanks for the help, Rainbow Dash. For helping me get away from those camera ponies, I mean."

She winced. After all she'd said to her, Ditzy was still being nice. She didn't deserve to be thanked by her. "No, Ditzy, I wanted…" She let out a breath and finished in a rush. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, for two nights ago. I didn't know about your promise, but I still shouldn't have… I'm sorry." She hadn't had a lot of practice at apologizing, but Ditzy's small smile reassured her somewhat.

"It’s okay, Rainbow Dash. I—" She was cut off by a sudden banging on the makeshift cloud door.

"Rainbow! Open up!" It was Spitfire's voice, and she sounded drained. Rainbow quickly moved the cloud, allowing the dejected-looking Wonderbolt into her home. Spitfire rushed over to Ditzy. "What happened, Ditz? How did this happen? Are you all right?"

The gray mare shot a quick glance at Rainbow, which she caught. "Oh, don't worry about her. I already told her we know each other."

Ditzy relaxed somewhat. "Oh, it was a silly thing. An accident. Don't be mad, Spitz; my Muffin found the picture of us you gave me and showed it to some friends at school. Word got around."

"Oh." Her surprise was evident. She shook her head with a rueful chuckle. “And here I thought it was some snooping reporter I could give a good pounding.” She quickly tensed up again, and tentatively asked her ritual question. "Ditz, with all that's happened… do you remember who I am?"

Ditzy gave her a skeptical look. "You’re my muffin-eater-friend. A Wonderbolt and... and you’re still my best friend, right?"

“Yeah, I am.” Spitfire slumped, but Rainbow noticed she was still tense, even if the answer had relieved some of her nervousness.

Dash cleared her throat. "So, uh, Spitfire, if… if you don't mind me asking… now what?"

Spitfire broke out of her slump to look at her with narrowed eyes, evidently still upset with her. "Now, we wait for the press to leave to make their deadlines and get Ditzy back home."

"Well, if we're just waiting… what's going on? How the heck do you know Ditzy?"

The object of her curiosity also chimed in, much to Dash’s surprise. "Spitz, what’s going on? The camera-pony’s questions are tickling in my mind. Why? Why are they asking such weird questions?"

Her friend turned away quickly. She mulled in silence, before turning back around. "Look, Ditz… I don't wanna tell you this… you shouldn't have to hear this. You don't want to hear this."

"Tell me."

The yellow mare looked at her with pleading eyes, which were beginning to fill with tears. "Ditzy, please don't ask me to do this. You don't know and—and you shouldn't have to—"

"Spitz." Her voice was commanding for the first time Rainbow Dash had ever heard. "I remember far back, and the earliest memories I have are being in a white room with casts and pregnant with Dinky. I want—no, I need to know. Who am I? They said we flew together? We flew on a team?"

"WHAT?!" Rainbow stood slack-jawed, staring at her like she had grown an extra head. "NO WAY! NO WAY! SHE WAS NOT A WONDERBOLT! NO WAY!" She turned back to Spitfire. "...Right?"

She sighed. "Ditz… are you sure?"

Her friend nodded, and she sighed again.

"Okay. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I guess it's better you hear it from me than read it out of some newspaper. Same for you, Rainbow Dash. Somepony besides Ditzy around here should know what really happened. No, she wasn't a Wonderbolt… quite. But by Celestia, she would have—she should have been. She was a better darn flyer then than half of us are now. Probably better than you, too, were it not for your Sonic Rainboom." She reached her head back around to her saddlebags, pulling out a worn leather book.

It was embossed with a title on the front cover, reading "The Amazing Ditzy Doo and Spitfire" in fancy silver filigree. She deposited it on the coffee table and flipped it open to the first page, which sported a photograph of two pegasus fillies, both very young, one yellow with orange mane and one grey with platinum blonde mane smiling cheesily. She was visibly tearing as the other two pegasi sat next to her on the couch and looked over her shoulder at the first picture in her album. "That's where we first met. It was summer flight camp, and you'd just moved to Cloudsdale…"

Ditzy was listening in a trance as the pounding in her head, triggered and tickled by so many reporter's questions, finally surged and coalesced into a long-lost memory…

Next Chapter: Part 4: Childhood Memories Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 50 Minutes
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