Ditz and Spitz: Origin of Derpy

by Poinger

Chapter 1: Intro: Muffin Time

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As the moon rose over Ponyville, a lone pegasus slowly winged her way toward the outskirts of town. A simple fight cap hid her mane, while a saddle served to hide her cutie mark and camouflage her bright yellow coat. She took the time to enjoy her flight; she often relished slow flight and the opportunity to appreciate the scenery, despite her reputation as a speedster. She recalled it had been fall in Ponyville, not spring, the last time she made this trip. With a grimace she again swore to visit more often, no matter what her schedule was like. She shook her head and focused on her landing as her destination came into view.

The simple, two-story wooden house stood alone on a hill near the outskirts of Ponyville. Though originally a home for earth ponies, it had been adapted, rather clumsily, for pegasi by the addition of a second story door and a small landing pad. Though the home was well maintained, the handypony responsible for maintenance was clearly sub-par: the brown window shutters were noticeably not level and the grey paint was darker in some patches than others, as if extra layers had been applied. The flower garden was colorful, but the normally uniform lines of flowers were a sprawling mishmash of red and yellow blossoms, while the swing on the front porch was slightly lower on one side than the other. Overall it gave the home a warm, lived-in look that belied its state of disrepair.

Spitfire gave a small shiver as she landed in front of the house; as warm and covering as the flight saddle was, it couldn't match the warmth her flightsuit normally provided. She walked up the porch and knocked softly, knowing one of the home's two occupants would be fast asleep by now. The door opened a crack, and a grey pegasus with a platinum blonde mane and two yellow, bidirectional eyes slowly peeked out from behind the door. Her face broke into a wide smile when she saw Spitfire on her porch.

"Spitz! You back for more of my deeelicious muffins?" Ditzy was full of unbridled enthusiasm, though not loud enough to wake her sleeping daughter.

Spitfire nodded and the door opened all the way, her host escorting her to a comfortable seat in the dining room. It was a fairly sparse room, populated by some bookcases, a dining table and a sofa in front of the lit fireplace.

"I know it's been a while, Ditz, sorry. But we were touring across Equestria; between that and the training I just couldn't get away."

Ditzy waved her hoof graciously. "I understand. I'll find muffins, and coffee! Be back soon."

She walked to the kitchen, returning a short while later with a platter sporting two steaming cups of coffee and a plate of muffins. She walked with care, so as not to bump into something and scatter muffins everywhere, as Spitfire knew she was so prone to do. Spitfire had shrugged out of her flight gear and was settling in when Ditzy reentered the dining room.

"Blueberry for my muffin-friend!” She grabbed one off of the platter and took a greedy bite, smiling as she chewed. “Mmmm. They’re not fresh, but they still taste best."

She smiled. Whatever else her friend had forgotten, Ditz always remembered that blueberry muffins were her favorite.

They chatted over the muffins and coffee. Spitfire asked about Ditzy's mailmare job, well-being, and Dinky's schoolwork, while Ditzy asked 'Spitz' about her Wonderbolts career, whether she'd met any special somepony yet, and if she ran across any muffins better than her own in her travels.

Spitfire felt a growing happiness as the evening wore on. She missed this, the quiet little talks with her old friend, but they always ended up making her sad somehow. They always reminded her of just how much Ditzy had forgotten, of how different she was now. She certainly looked happy, but would she have been happier if she was as she used to be?

She sighed. There was no use now in thinking about how things could have been. It was getting late, and she had to be back at the training grounds early tomorrow morning. "Sorry, Ditz, but it's pretty late. I should be heading out." As she started to strap herself into her flight gear, she put her hoof into her saddlebags, and asked Ditzy her ritual question. "Ditz… do you remember who I am?"

Ditzy gave her a look that her voice confirmed was skeptical. "You’re Spitfire. A Wonderbolt! We eat muffins, and talk, and… and hang out together! You’re my best friend." Her look turned quizzical. “You feeling alright, Spitz?” Her ritual response, which Spitfire answered with a sad smile.

She sighed and reached for a different object inside her saddlebags, pulling out a photograph of the two of them in that same dining room. They were leaning against each other, Spitfire staring morosely at an empty muffin plate while Ditzy had her coffee cup teetering precariously on her head. "I’m fine. I almost forgot; the photo from last time, for your book. You should warn me next time you put cider in the muffin mix. It was pretty sketchy flying back home." She set the photo down on the table and walked across the room. "Anyway, I should be back in about five weeks. We only have a couple of events this month. So I'll see you then." She waved a hoof from the door, closed it behind her and took off from the front lawn, quickly fading into the night.


Unseen by either mare, a grey unicorn filly with a platinum blonde mane like her mommy's watched with rapt attention from the top of the stairs as Spitfire left, the bad dream which had originally provoked her to head downstairs for her mommy long forgotten. She was ready to bolt back upstairs in an instant; as excited as she was, she knew her mommy wouldn't be happy if she caught her listening. But her mommy was just standing by the door, staring up at the visitor as she disappeared into the night sky. She kept staring for a few minutes before grabbing the photograph off of the table and making her way over to one of the bookcases. After some fumbling, she managed to stick the photo partway behind the cover of a nondescript, thick brown book on the top shelf, then let out a yawn as she grabbed the platter off the table and headed toward the kitchen.

Dinky’s heart raced as she quickly but quietly retreated back to her bedroom. She returned to her bed and feigned sleep, waiting for her mother to retire for the night. Shortly thereafter, she heard hoofsteps on the stairs. As her door creaked open, she held very still and tried to breathe slowly. She heard her mommy whisper “Goodnight, Muffin,” before the door closed again, and the hoofsteps continued down the hall.

About fifteen minutes after hearing her mother's door close, Dinky crept back downstairs, using what little magic skill she had to cast a faint glow from her horn on the bookcase and the precious photo-book. Though she didn't have the magic to get the whole book down, she had enough to pull the photo out of the book and down to her. The photo almost made her giggle before she could stop herself; it looked like the Wonderbolt lady wanted more of Mommy's muffins, which Dinky could certainly understand, while Mommy was being silly with her coffee.

She snuck back upstairs, and carefully placed the photo into her saddlebags with a satisfied smile. She tucked herself back into bed, hopeful that tomorrow at school, maybe some of the other fillies would play with her more if they knew her mommy was not a klutzy pegasus, but that she was cool—that she was friends with a Wonderbolt!

Next Chapter: Part 1: Photo Rumors Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 35 Minutes
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