Sometimes I think that my thoughts are my worst enemy. They lead me down dark paths, creates assumptions and causes me to overanalyze things. To make matters worse they have a tendency to make me perceive new physical enemies, and in the worst case scenario I make one. If there’s one thing I should’ve learned throughout my travels it’s to act more on my instincts. While I’m making some progress in this field it’s not fast enough. What’s that old saying? It’s impossible to teach an old dog new tricks?

Twilight awoke groggily to the sound of somepony hammering on her bedroom door. When did I get in bed? Her still sluggish mind produced as she lifted hoof to rub the sleep put of her eyes. Whoever was hammering on the door seemed determined to not stop since the sound continued to echo throughout the room.

“Okay, okay! I’m up! Yesh, can’t a mare get some sleep!” She called out to whoever it was on the other side of the door.

Then again what was I doing before I was sleeping? I remember looking for Spike and I remember finding him. Did I want to send a letter or did he give me one? She thought as she moved over to the door. A quick unlock later the door flew open and Rainbow Dash burst into the room.

“Come on Twi, you gotta come. The rest of the girls are already assembled in the entrance hall.”

That was weird, Rainbow didn’t normally have this much energy at this time of the day. What time was it anyway? She wondered.

“Where are we going?” Twilight asked, still confused as to what the fuzz was about.

“Well we think it’s Cloud’s doing, but it could be Discord as well. You’d better come see for yourself.” Rainbow said before rushing off towards the lower levels of Ponyville castle.

Cloud, that’s right! She thought as the memories of yesterday came rushing back to her. The frantic chase after Spike, her episode growing worse and worse. Until she finally found Spike, but then it had turned out to be too late already. And finally the overload when Luna had sent a note via dragon fire to inform them what had transpired in Canterlot. Oh dear, went a bit overboard again. She realized with a groan to herself. I guess I better make sure I didn’t cause any damage like last time. Oh and I better hurry down to the girls to see just what has them so bothered. She decided.

So after a quick brush through of her mane she trotted downstairs where she found her entire circle of close friends to be already waiting. Rarity was the one who spotted her first and the others did so soon after her initial greeting.

“Glad to see you’re finally awake darling. I didn’t know what to think when I saw Applejack and Rainbow cart you home last night.”

Oh so it had been Rainbow and Applejack that had helped her home. She needed to remember to thank them later. She thought and made a small mental note.

“Yeah, I just want to say I’m sorry for overreacting yesterday.” She said truthfully.

“Pish posh, it’s all water under the bridge Twilight. And all things considered I think you were a bit justified in your reactions, it is Cloud were talking about after all.” Rarity began with a small smile. “Although I have to admit that I find it quite hard to believe that Cloud is back after all this time.”

“Oh he’s back alright, but ah don’t think you’ll recognize that it’s him at first glance.” Applejack chimed in.

“I bet I will~” Pinkie’s cherry voice joined in.

The random call outs continued for a few minutes, most of them being supplied by Pinkie, but eventually Rainbow seemed to grow restless.

“So are we going today?” She asked impatiently.

With a chorus of agreements they left the castle, and headed out into the summer day that was waiting there. Twilight had a hard time to tell the precise time but it seemed that it was definitely still morning hours.

“So where exactly is it we’re going?” Twilight asked as they trotted through the streets of Ponyville.

“I could say you’ll see, but seeing how well that went yesterday I’m going to settle for I can’t really explain it.” Rainbow Dash spoke up.

Of course it has to be something of Cloud’s special brand of weird. She lamented as they continued to walk, but as soon as they cleared the town border they stopped.

“Girls can you please tell me what exactly I’m looking at?” Twilight said, not believing what she was seeing.

“It’s a house of course, do you need glasses Twilight?” Pinkie asked, sounding confused.

“Thanks, but no thanks Pinkie. I can see that it’s a house but why is it on damned floating island?!” She said, already starting to feel frustrated again and they hadn’t even seen Cloud yet.

“I don’t know Twilight, why do you ask me? It’s not like I usually know weird tidbits of information.” Pinkie said with a completely serious look before bouncing off towards the house.

“Calm down darling, I’m sure we’ll have our questions answered in time. Now come on, otherwise Pinkie is going to get too far ahead.” Rarity said calmingly.

“I guess you’re right, thanks Rarity.” Twilight said after taking a few deep breaths.

The five hurried after Pinkie, who had already reached the edge of the island. When they caught up two thing immediately became apparent. First the island wasn’t tethered to anything but nor was it moving. Secondly it wasn’t floating as high up in the air Twilight had first assumed, in fact it hung lazily about a meter above ground. And that was measuring the between the lowest point of the island and the ground below. A small set of uneven but relatively flat stones, also flying freely in the air, created a sort of stair leading up to the island.

“Ah guess we’re goin’ up?” Applejack said, breaking the silence that had formed.

After ascending the improvised stair they were met with another strange view. A house unlike any they had seen before, at this distance they could easily tell that the proportions of the house were not designed with a pony in mind. It seemed to be a two story building with large windows and grey painted wooden walls. A chimney poked out of the roof, but no smoke was coming out of it. Spending but a few moments to share determined looks with each other they pushed onwards over the small yard, and up to the large front door. This close they could clearly hear muffled music being played from inside, but it wasn’t a song that any of them recognized. Seeing as there was no doorbell or anything Twilight reached out with a hoof and knocked.

For a few seconds they waited but nothing happened. So Twilight reached out and knocked again, a bit harder this time. The process repeated itself another two times, before Twilight gave a frustrated cry towards the sky.

“Um, perhaps he isn’t home?” Fluttershy suggested carefully.

“No he’s definitely in there!” Twilight said with certainty.

“Maybe we should come back later though, he is probably not ready yet.” Rarity said, adding her thoughts.

“No we’re going in now. In fact I will teleport us right to him!” Twilight stated as the frustration got the best of her once again.

And before any of her friends had a chance to object she had lit her horn. A quick flash later they reappeared inside the house beside Cloud. That’s strange, why did it suddenly become so humid? It’s like I entered a- Any further thoughts were cut off as she came realize just where she had teleported herself and her friends. In front of her, in the middle of taking a shower stood a very unaware and very nude Cloud. Since he didn’t seem to notice his sudden guests he just continued to carefully clean one of wings under the falling water. A small gasp, possibly from Fluttershy, seemed to catch his attention though. He turned his head slowly to face the six ponies that had suddenly appeared in his bathroom, a humored smile appearing on his face when he saw what had caused the sound.

“Not that I mind you dropping by, but I’m kind of in the middle of something here. So if you don’t mind could you please wait outside?” He said, clearly entertained by the development.

Twilight and company could only nod while making blubbering attempts at speech as they hurriedly filed out of the bathroom and quickly closing the door behind them again. Stunned and embarrassed silence reigned among the ponies, many having a hard time understanding what had just happened. Unfortunately for Twilight her analytical part of her mind had taken in quite an eyeful of Cloud’s form and found it exceedingly hard to focus on something else. To make matters worse her friends who had thanks to her also been granted a free view of Cloud started whispering among each other as they regained their ability to speak.

“I didn’t expect him to be so tall.” Rarity managed to say still portraying an embarrassed blush.

Thanks Rarity I really needed to have the entire scene play out in my head again. She thought sarcastically.

“Ah’ wonder where he got that nasty bruise on the lower part of his back.” Applejack said, sporting a blush that could rival Rarity’s.

And now I’m focusing on his butt, damn it AJ. She ranted.

“Wings…” Fluttershy murmured not quite blushing but embarrassed nonetheless.

And we move on to his surprisingly large wings. She thought feeling like it was time to give up.

“I knew he was pretty tough but damn, that body.” Rainbow said appreciatively.

Huh, that’s actually a topic I can appreciate thanks Rainbow. She thought smiling despite herself. His body structure is different from the humans in the world beyond the mirror, which means his world must be unconnected. His muscle structure is clearly defined but lean, a probable cause for this would be a body trained through repeated exercise rather than body building. In short he has an athlete’s body much like Rainbow’s.

“Wait so nopony is going to mention the length of his-” Pinkie began to say cheerfully but was interrupted by a unanimous “PINKIE!” as their faces quickly grew red.

“What? I was going to say mane. It looked really rough.” Pinkie said, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Oh thank the maker. Twilight thought before Pinkie shattered the small respite with her next comment.

“Wow you girls need to get your mind out of the gutter, did you really think I was talking about his dick?”

A clearly audible groan could be heard from outside my bathroom door, just in time for me to have turned off the shower. For the first time in weeks I felt truly clean again and I relished the feeling as I reached for a towel. As I quickly rubbed down my body I let my thoughts wander, for one I hadn’t accounted for the girls arriving this early. I guess it was to be expected though, the house I currently called my own had sprung up overnight after all. But the biggest challenge on my horizon would be to see if I could make a life here again. I had no plan, no grand scheme, just what I had conjured and my lasting nightmares. I had suffered them again last night, the same dream I always had about the hospital bed. This had been the worst night in a while. With an effort of will I wrenched my thoughts away from the dark subject, and wrapped the towel around my waist.

I went over to my clothes and started to quickly get dressed, lamenting the fact that they had become rather worn down over the months I had spent here. Hopefully I could commission a new set of clothes from Rarity later today though. Once dressed I stepped out through the bathroom door and came face to face with a half circle of ponies. I let my gaze sweep over them, taking in their familiar colors and shapes. They all definitely seem more mature since the last time I saw them. I thought to myself approvingly before addressing them.

“Okay, now we’ll talk. Follow me.” I said leading the ponies down to the living room.

“I’d offer something to drink or eat but I haven’t got anything of the sort right now.” I added once everyone had been seated on the large sofa or various chairs or pillows. “Now who wants to go first?”

Silence reigned for a few seconds before Rarity cleared her throat. “If nopony’s going to say anything I might as well start. Where did this house come from? And pray tell why is it on a floating island?”

“Ah, about the island thing that was a mistake. I only intended to summon the house when I started but one stray thought led to another and suddenly the simple home I had envisioned had become something else. I guess I shouldn’t have attempted to do it while near exhausted.” I explained, drawing confused looks from all the assembled ponies.

“Cloud would you mind running that by us one more time? You summoned this house? Do you even realize the amount of magic that would require?” Twilight said, the disbelief written all over her face.

I facepalmed. “Oh damn I’m stupid, I should probably have shown you this first.” I said, summoning Imagination.

A collective gasp was heard from the girls as the spear materialized in my hands. Once it was fully formed I held it out so that they could get a good look at it.

“What is that Cloud? Some kind of artifact?” Twilight asked me, turning her gaze away from the spear to face me.

“I was actually hoping you could help me with that, since I’m not entirely sure of what it is. All I know is that it allows me to summon objects and that it doubles as a spear.” I answered her truthfully. She seems to have cooled down from yesterday, good. I hope it will stay that way. I pondered.

“I have never seen or read about anything like this. Could you summon something though perhaps that will give me a clue as to how it works?” Twilight asked hopefully.

“Eh, about that. That will be impossible.” I answered carefully.

“What! Why?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Well you see, to maintain the summoning of the island, the house and everything in it I had to put up a special zone that would keep the objects here. To be able to summon anything again I would have to remove that zone and wait for the spear to recharge.” I explained patiently.

“Okay so do that then, we have time to wait a bit.” Twilight pushed on.

“Yes but here’s where the second problem comes in. Size and complexity will affect the time required for the spear to regain its charge, and going by the house and island alone we’re probably looking at a five years minimum here.” I finished my explanation lamely.

“So you’re telling me that one of the perhaps most important discoveries in this era is nothing more than a spear right now?” Twilight said, sounding defeated.

“I’m afraid so. But it would have been hard for you to study it anyway Twilight. Look what happens as soon I let go of the spear.” I said while releasing my grip on the weapon, causing to disappear.

“Now I can’t let you see it action any more than what you just saw, but I can offer you my research notes.” I offered the studious mare. “Although now that I think about it, I left the duffel bag with my stuff in your barn Applejack.” I added thoughtfully.

“I guess that will have to do.” Twilight said dejectedly. “I have one last question though. You say that the island was a stray thought, could elaborate on that?”

“Ah, I never explained that part, did I? Well once I start the process of summoning, I must continue to summon objects without pause otherwise the process will come to a halt. So once the thought of the island popped into my head I was forced to go along with it. Not my brightest moment if I may say so.” I told them.

“So the entire floating island is a mistake?” Twilight asked.

“Sort of, yeah…” I answered her.

“That’s-” she began.

“Awesome!” Rainbow cried out.

Okay, this is going better than I had hoped. Perhaps the shower incident mellowed Twilight out a bit. I kind of expected her to rip me a new one after what I pulled yesterday. I thought. But there was still one major topic that had to be addressed and judging by the silence that had fallen again perhaps it was finally time to talk about it.

“So… I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room then?” I said. In hindsight I should probably have used another set of words though.

“There’s an elephant in the room?!” Fluttershy cried out happily and at the same time Rainbow said.

“Ele what?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It is a figure of speech, there’s no actual elephant here. It means that perhaps it finally time to talk about the thing we’ve all been avoiding but still are very much aware of.”

“Ooooh.” Pinkie said. “And what is that?”

“Sugarcube, Ah think he means why he left Equestria the last time.” Applejack chimed in.

I only nodded, taking some time to carefully study all of their faces. In them I could see, curiosity, nervousness and determination. I closed my eyes and took a deep calming breath of air, and as I exhaled I opened them again. It was time that I explained to them just what had transpired the last few days during my last visit.

“This is going to take some explaining, so please hold any questions until I’m done. You are of course free to condemn me if you so desire once you’ve heard it all but at least let me get the full story out there first. Does that seem fair to you?” I asked the ponies in my living room.

Since no one spoke up at first Applejack took the opportunity to do so. “Sugarcube we just want ta know, we all figured out that it had somethin’ to do with the Stars but not more than that.”

“Alright, we’ll the time when things started going down the drain was the day before I left. And yes I say left because the final choice was mine. Now I had just entered my quarters and was about to retire for the night…”

“So then you didn’t leave on your own volition?” Rarity asked, breaking the silence that had formed after I had finished my retelling of my last encounter with Grief.

“Oh no, just as I claimed before I told you this the choice was mine Rarity don’t ever mistake that for something else. But the all I had were two relatively bad options from my point of view and I picked the one that I perceived to carry the least amount of risk.” I countered, the tale had put me slightly on edge so my response was a bit harsher than intended.

“You’re the one that stole my research.” Twilight accused.

“Technically no, I persuaded someone else to steal it. I guess the end result was the same anyway though.” I countered.

“If ah had known about what that snake Dreamcatcher was doing I would’ve-” Applejack began but I interrupted her.

“Would’ve what Applejack? I had no idea how much power she could wield so I took a gamble, and guess what? I won. That was what my I felt that my entire stay was like, a big gamble. I’d like to think that I played the game pretty well for someone who was intended to be a disposable piece on the board.” I shot her down. She didn’t deserve that kind of talk from me, but this topic brought forth dark things in me.

“But what you did wasn’t fair to any of those that cared for you Cloud. The way you talk you make it seem like it was just another choice for you. I guess what we want is to know why? No, how. How could you just throw everything away like that?” Twilight questioned ruthlessly.

“How? You ask me how? How did I pick between the two? Let me assure you that was the single most difficult choice I had ever had the displeasure to make.” I was growing angry now.

“Imagine this, you have all your friends on one end and the rest of the world on the other end. You have a chance to save one of the two, so you make a choice when neither option seems right. Have you ever had to make such a decision Twilight Sparkle?! Because I hadn’t before that point, and it nearly broke me! In fact I’m not sure if it did in fact break me!” I finished, at some point I had stood up and had flared my wings as I shouted.

I looked around at the ponies again, Fluttershy was trembling, Pinkies mane was hanging straight, Applejack, Rainbow and Rarity just sat there stunned and Twilight was staring down into the floor. Fuck my life, I just crossed the line. I thought as I sat back down, burying my face in my hands. Not moving I spoke again, in calmer tones this time.

“I’m sorry, you’re not the ones that should’ve taken that anger. It’s just, this entire topic brings out the worst in me. It seems that I still carry something of a wound from that time, it’s no excuse but for what it’s worth. I- I’m sorry….” I trailed off.

Again a pressing silence reigned over my living room. It was clear that I still had a long way to go before I could talk about this in a calm and collected manner.

“Yes…” It was Twilight who spoke next, she sounded tired. “Yes I have been in that situation before Cloud, just a few months back actually. I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have pushed the subject. I think we’d better call it for today.”

“That might be for the best.” I agreed.

They said their farewells and filed out of my home and just as I was about to close the door on their retreating forms Pinkie turned around and rushed back to me.

“Here, I hope you enjoy it.” She said, pulling out a cupcake from nowhere.

“Thanks Pinks.” I said as I offered her a weak smile, which she returned with one of her own.

“Don’t mention it Cloudy, and if um…If you need somepony to talk too I’ll be happy to listen. You once did it for me.” She said before rushing back to her friends.

I closed to door and leaned my back against it. Greet fucking job Cloud. Now they’re sure to be terrified of you. Perfect timing to finally break down. I thought sarcastically as I slowly slid down the door until I sat hunched down, a hand over my face. Eventually dropped the hand from my face and took a closer look at the cupcake Pinkie had given me. It was relatively small thing with pink icing spelling out the words. Welcome back Cloud.

Suddenly my vision blurred and my throat felt thick, I brought a hand up to my eyes and was surprised when I felt a wetness. Am I… crying?, not quite sure of what I was feeling I let my tears fall.

Barely half a day had passed, and it wasn’t over yet.

Author's Notes:

So yeah this chapter had it's name changed after some rewrites from the original script I had intended. That means no Luna until next chapter. On the other side I decided to portray the fact that Cloud just isn't going to shrug off his problems. He will get better and I won't make it an entire arc of him regaining his mental capacities. it will however be a subplot that will run for some time. But again I wish to reassure you that I won't make a massive thing about this, just show that Cloud has some inner demons still.

Well enough emotional roller coaster for now, I hope I still have you with and that you will join for the next chapter. Working title: Night before a new day.