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Drawn With the Night Into the Day

by Dan_s Comments

Chapter 2: 2) The Competition

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Drawn With the Night Into the Day

by Dan's Comments

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.


Discord waved a hand in front of the wildly staring princesses, and received no reaction. He looked at Fancy, then to Dipper and asked, "You know what this means?"

"Picnic!" Dipper announced.

Discord grinned and they reappeared, along with the buffet table and the rest of Fancy's team, outside in the gardens.

Dipper hopped out of Discord's lap and headed over to the buffet table with Fluttershy. Fancy headed over to calm down Shadow Lightning, Buzz, and Stone Blizzard.

"So what did you do?" Discord asked, and glanced over to Fluttershy who was looking at him. "I am just curious. I had nothing to do with it, I think."

"I proposed the action figures," Fancy said, "Posable bodies, brush-able manes and tails. Maybe a set of accessories: playhouse/palaces, maybe some items that they usually use."

"Books."

Everyone looked around. Fluttershy blushed. "Twilight loves books," she said.

"I don't know if they took the idea well, badly, or not at all." Fancy glanced around and shrugged. "They just sort of stared at the models and made little, whimpering noises for a while. Although the tone of the noises varied from Princess to Princess. Celestia sounded happy, Luna worried, Cadence sounded scared, and Twilight will be the first customer for the Celestia toy."

"Make the first run pink and really girly," Discord suggested.

"Next you're going to tell me to make it say stupid things like 'send her to the moon!'" Fancy said.

The aforementioned four princesses trotted out into the enclosure. Buzz and Stone Blizzard immediately threw themselves on the ground. Dipper looked at them, and instantly did likewise, much to the consternation of the princesses.

"She's a citizen of Multicursal, not an Equestrian," Fancy said, "I hope you'll pardon her for not repeating the whole formulas," Fancy said and bowed.

"Please, we're all friends here," Celestia said.

"Boy, she sounds worried about that," Discord said. Celestia frowned at him.

Fancy thought the same thing.

"She's here to ask you to report for evisceration and cremation," Discord said, "With some defenestration thrown in for good measure."

"Oh WOW!" Fancy squealed and danced excitedly, "Can I take Dipper along too? That sound ever-so fun!"

"I don't think you understand what that means," a horrified Princess Sparkle said.

Fancy raised an eyebrow to Discord, who shrugged. She turned to face Twilight. "There is a cognitive dissonance apparent in sesquipedalian loquaciousness becoming a, if not the de facto indicator of and its lack as a contraindication of intelligence. Smart folks can and do speak plainly too," Fancy said, "Your Highness."

Twilight blushed as Discord and Fancy giggled. "So your Highnesses, do you like my idea?"

Celestia seemed very nervous about answering, and none of the other Princesses seemed willing to assist her. "It is very, ah, bold," Celestia said.

"Your Majesty," Fancy said, "We can put a warning right on the box, 'Not to be used for devotionals, shrines or other religious observances.'" She grinned at the trio of horrified, and one distinctly conflicted princess.

"BOOM!" Dipper said of the now prone draconequus. On closer examination, she added, "Swirlies!"

Fluttershy was not helping as she succumbed to a case of the giggles.

"That is not what we fear," Luna added too hastily.

Fancy merely bowed. "Of course, your Highness." She turned to Princess Sparkle. "If the design is acceptable, which confectionaire do I need to contact?"

The distinctly nervous smiles did nothing for Fancy's confidence.
------------------------------

Fancy walked towards Pony Joe's on a mission. There was an expert she needed to consult, and for that consultation, she felt she really ought to offer a bribe.

"Hey, Fancy!" the baker called, "Long time no see."

"Family troubles," she said, "Had to run all the way to Multicursal to keep my foal," she admitted, "But right now, I need your help."

"I'm busy with the store," he said, "But whatever I can do."

"It involves the store. You had some special, filled doughnuts, I need a dozen, and in a bit of a rush," she said.

"Doughnuts help you out of a big problem?" the baker asked.

"Actually, I need the doughnuts to help Discord help their Highnesses out of a big jam the nobles got them into."

"Okay, now I don't want to know." The baker crossed his eyes. "Doughnuts, and the Princesses, and Discord. Yep, I'm sure. I don't want to know. I assume equal numbers of each flavor?"

"Unless you know better," she said and got a strange look from Pony Joe, "What, my mane on fire?"

"Naw, just that," Pony Joe began then glanced around, "The idea that you'd trust a workpony to use his best judgment. You've changed, for the better."

"Thank you. I had the 'noble unicorns know everything' beaten out of me. I have learned that the folks doing the work may have insights I don't."

"Heresy!" they said together and laughed.

"Well, I'll have that batch up and ready in a half-hour," Pony Joe said.
------------------------------

Fancy walked the streets of Canterlot. Examples of Pony Joe's expertise safely stowed in her saddlebags.

"Fancy, Fancy Thunder is that you?" she heard from a voice she dearly wished she would never have heard again. "Fancy wait!"

She didn't increase her pace, she kept walking as if she'd heard nothing. A skill she'd picked up as a noble. One didn't shove a hoof through an offending face, one merely didn't invite it to dinner. In this case, two faces; two, two-faced faces.

Unfortunately, they were running in pursuit, unusual enough that she had to turn and acknowledge them. "Lord Jet Set, Lady Upper Crust, how may I be of service?" she asked and smiled pleasantly while inwardly fuming.

"You're back in Canterlot?" Jet Set asked.

"A commission," she said, "They needed someone to rescue the charity offering."

"You didn't bring your foal?" Upper Crust asked.

As if I'd tell you, you useless piece of green fluff, Fancy thought as kept the snarl from her face, Hoping to gain favor with the family by laying Dipper at their feet? They may not know what a vicious, little thing you are, but I do.

"Your associates in Intelligence haven't told you?" Fancy said sweetly. "Well, this has been fun, but I have work to do. Excuse me."

"Fancy," Jet Set said, "Don't be like that."

"Lord Jet Set, you are no longer my cousin, I was disowned. I am now one of those ponies we all used to sneer at and belittle," Fancy said.

"Well, it seems breeding isn't enough to overcome true crudity." Upper Crust stuck her nose in the air and walked off.

"You'd better go before you get in trouble," she told Jet Set.

He frowned. "She thought she was doing you a favor," he told her, but nodded and headed off.

That almost makes it worse. I wonder if anyone hates her as much as I do, Fancy thought and continued to the palace.

Princess Sparkle was off doing something, but she wasn't who Fancy was after. "Spike?" she asked.

"Fancy!" the little dragon called and ran over for a hug, "I heard, I'm sorry."

"Would you like to meet Dipper?" Fancy asked.

Spike grinned. "Sure!" He got a suspicious look. "You aren't going to make me foalsit, are you?"

"No, I think you'd have to fight Discord for the privilege," she said. "I remember a dragon saying that you have to do the unexpected to win."

"I was talking about how I got into all those places, not trusting Discord with my kid," Spike said.

"Well, Fluttershy was with him to start. But I think she charmed him," Fancy said, then grinned and pulled out the doughnut box. "And I need a big favor. Pony Joe's specials." She flipped open the box revealing the filled doughnuts. "Ruby raspberry, emerald and lemon, custard with opals and diamonds."

Spike was practically drooling. "For, me?"

She hooved over the box. "I need to know a chocolataire who can cast the charity figures."

Spike let out a breath. "Twilight's been going crazy trying to get somebody."

"There's got to be someone who can do it," Fancy said.

"Sure, Geara's delicatessen." The little dragon perked up, then fell into depression. "But she isn't listening."

"I listened," she said and kissed Spike on the forehead, "The Geara Deli, thanks. Enjoy the doughnuts." She headed off to get the job done.
------------------------------

The dinner was nervous. Twilight had worked herself into a frenzy, and discovered that all the best houses couldn't complete the order in time.

"Twilight," Celestia said carefully, "We can try again tomorrow. Maybe the Royal Confectioners can help."

Twilight stared at her, then her expression softened. "I'm sorry. I don't like failing."

"No one's life is at stake," Cadence said, "No one will blame you."

Twilight sighed.

"Am I interrupting?" Fancy asked as she stuck her head in the door.

"No," Celestia said, "Please come in."

Fancy approached and set her saddlebags on the table. "I need your approvals before we go into production." She pulled two sets of chocolate figurines from the bag. All the princesses were stunned.

"How?" Twilight exclaimed.

"Oh, I asked an expert on Canterlot, seems to know everypony, and has contacts all over. Hero of the Crystal Empire to boot," Fancy said, "He even knows you four very well."

Twilight closed her eyes and her ears folded tight to her head. "Spike."

Fancy just grinned. "So, do I tell them to go ahead, or do we need to make some changes?"

"Ah," Twilight said, "What kind of chocolate are these to be made out of?"

"They can do 500 of any flavor, or a hundred sixty-six of milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and white chocolate."

"I think white chocolate," Celestia said.

"I was hoping for dark," Luna replied softly.

"Princess Twilight?" Fancy asked.

"I hadn't considered," she said, and her hair frazzled.

"How does dark for her Highness Luna, white for Princess Celestia, and a mix for Princesses Cadence and Twilight?" Fancy asked and glanced from princess to princess.

"Yes," Cadence said.

Twilight just nodded.

"Yes," Princesses Celestia and Luna said.

"Thank you. I'll see to it." Fancy withdrew.

"See, you have other people to rely on," Celestia said.

Twilight nodded.
------------------------------

The sarsaparilla was having its expected effects. Discord standing in the middle of the insanity and gawking was almost worth it.

"Tea?" the fish in the tuxedo floated past and asked Discord. When the draconequus nodded, the fish unscrewed his head and poured a cup of tea. Not tea into a cup, the cup and tea formed out of the stream.

"I like it," he said quietly as he sipped his tea.

"Oh, I need to show you the library," Fancy said and walked over to the footstool and opened it, then climbed down the stairs revealed inside.

"I'm going to have to make sure I get a couple of bottles of that sarsaparilla," Discord commented as he followed her.

"Watch out for the grommets," Fancy warned as she poured a cup of liquid out of the bottle. "A jigger of math theory for you."

"I like how you think," Discord said and drank it. He stared off into space. "Oh dear, excuse me, I have to write this down." He vanished.

"Oh dear," Fancy said, replaced the bottle in the rack and decided to head off to explore some more.
------------------------------

"Luna!" Celestia exclaimed on greeting her sister. The sun was shining, the birds were singing more sweetly than usual. The charity figurines would be ready almost two full weeks ahead of schedule. And her dear sister. . . . "You look terrible."

"That mare is doing this on purpose," Luna said as she trudged down the halls of Canterlot.

"Doing what?" Celestia was almost afraid to ask.

"Giving herself nightmares!" Luna said, "Except they aren't nightmares to her."

Celestia kept her mouth shut, knowing the answer would only irritate her sister.

"Her dreams of last night were nearly blasphemous!" Luna said, then glanced around nervously.

"Oh my!" Celestia said.

"You were involved. In a most demeaning posture. Speechless and immobile, but your mouth open slightly, and your tail in the air," Luna hissed.

"Oh my!" Celestia said as she recoiled, then leaned close, "And?"

"You wore a saddle of softest, padded silk," Luna whispered and glanced around worriedly, "With stirrups."

"Oh my!" Celestia said, and hid her grin. "And?"

"He walked out, wearing naught but a pair of goggles."

"Oh my!" Celestia said as she recoiled, then leaned close, "And?"

"He climbed into your saddle."

"Oh my!" Celestia said, "And?"

"And when he put his feet through your stirrups," Luna said, and blushed furiously, "Your wings pop, poof, uh, went to maximum extension."

"Oh my!" Celestia said, "And?"

Luna stared at Celestia. "Do you not understand what this depravity must lead to?"

"Oh dear, you aren't going to steal him from me are you? I had hoped that his interest in an older, more adventurous mare would not come between us," Celestia said and gave big, doe eyes to Luna who stared at her sister in shock.

"Celestia," Luna gasped.

"But Luna, I haven't poofed for a stallion in so long," Celestia said as she flared her wings, "I know we promised to share, but you frighten him so, and, I just want this little thing for myself." She clasped her hooves under her chin. "Please?"

"Sister." Luna said in shock, "Upon seating himself, flames shot out of your, uh, from under your tail and you and he soared around like the unholy marriage of a fireworks rocket and a glider."

"Oh. Not lots of beautiful, alicorn babies as graceful and angelic as their mother? How disappointing," Celestia said, then perked up and called, "Hello Twilight, did you sleep well?"

Twilight joined the group, looking almost as scrambled as Luna.

"How did you sleep?" Celestia asked then shied back as Twilight grinned at her.

"Chaos, is logical," Twilight said, her ears twitching madly.

"Oh," Celestia said, and was glad to see Cadence arriving, looking chipper, and then as horrified at Luna's and Twilight's condition as Celestia was.

"Hi?" Cadence asked nervously. "I'm going on a trip to the Crystal Empire's embassy, with Fancy and Dipper, it seems Discord discovered a new math system."

Twilight giggled disturbingly.

Cadence looked at Twilight worriedly. "Something he got from a dream of Fancy's."

Luna whimpered.

Cadence looked back at Celestia. "I think Klein Bottle's method was more genteel."

Celestia considered and nodded.
------------------------------

Cadence watched Dipper stare at the crystalline sculpture of the Capitol of the Crystal Empire. The way it glittered as the light hit it. Fancy and Cadence sat close enough they could rescue the tower from Dipper, or vice versa.

"Are you enjoying your triumphal return?" Cadence asked.

Fancy started a bit but smiled. "It has been interesting."

"Is it as enjoyable as you hoped? Your revenge?" Cadence asked.

Fancy laughed nervously, but even Dipper looked confused by sudden change in Fancy's demeanor. "I don't know what you mean."

"I mean you've been going out of your way to show up or frustrate Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight. I mean, six bottles of sarsaparilla? Isn't that a bit much just to make sure when Luna looks in on you she gets an extra special nightmare?" Cadence asked and smiled.

"It was also an excuse to indulge. I loved sarsaparilla, I just can't drink it any more." Dipper had wandered over to Fancy. Fancy pulled her daughter into her arms.

"Would it help to say that Twilight feels terrible about what happened, and wants to make good?" Cadence said.

"Funny, she didn't send an apology. Of course she didn't offer one to me for her trick with the Royal Commission," Fancy said.

"Celestia never apologized to Twilight for dismissing her concerns about Chrysalis. There are a lot of apologies due that have yet to be delivered. You seem to be taking this a bit more personally than the victim," Cadence said.

Fancy hugged Dipper and sighed. "Maybe because it's so close to what happened to me. Somepony more powerful than you decides they can mess with your life, and when you try to escape, they try to drag you back so you'll listen to their explanation. No apology, no admission that what they did was wrong, just that you have to listen to them justifying themselves. 'I thought it was right at the time'. Maybe you have nightmares about getting locked up by the changelings, losing your loved ones to them."

"Occasionally."

"I had them all the time. About losing Dipper, about being traded off for favors to some other house. And no Princess Luna sweeping in to rescue me. Then I met someone who made them all go away," Fancy said, and stared at Cadence, "Isn't it right to want to protect that person?"

"I think from what I've learned, he did a decent job protecting himself, and you and Dipper. He told Princess Celestia, to her face, in front of an international crowd of witnesses to leave him alone. And she agreed. I can't tell you how much that hurt her. A bright, capable, independent individual tells her to her face that he doesn't see her as different from Sombra. You're going to do the same when you leave. Ponies like you, people like you and Klein are the ones she longs for. People who don't need her, but want to be around her. People who see and like the mare, not fawn on the crown. Now she has two wonderful examples, who seem to be raising a third, and they see her as a barely contained monster."

Fancy gulped at that.

"Yet she knows because of what her beloved sister and student did, Klein mistrusts her entire country and you hate her and all she represents, and she can't force Luna or Twilight to make amends."

"They'd only make it on their terms," Fancy said and frowned. Dipper fussed at little as how unhappy her mommy looked.

"Your problem is you aren't hitting the people you really want to hurt. You're just lashing out. I'll admit, if I found Chrysalis battered and bleeding at my doorstep, I'd be hard pressed to summon any mercy for her. But you need to really hit the people who hurt you, not the ones who hurt him. And for the record, when Princess Celestia found out what was going on, she put herself at considerable risk to stop it. Your friend Klein could very well have been a well-disguised tiger, not the pussycat he is."

"So how do I hit my family, especially my father, and not the Princesses?" Fancy asked.

"Actually, Discord may have that handled already," Cadence said, and grinned.

Fancy's eyes went wide. "No!" Fancy said and grinned.

"Oh yes," Cadence said, "Here you had all you wanted at your fingertips, and you were unaware. Who isn't paying attention now?"

Fancy frowned at that. Cadence carefully collected Dipper and held her. Dipper tugged on her mane but Cadence was used to that. "If you really want to give Luna and Twilight a good swift buck to the bits, you can apologize to them."

"An apology?" Fancy asked.

"Consider the phrasing carefully," Cadence suggested, "Oh, and let Celestia pay you, or at least your team, for their work. She deserves at least that much," Cadence said, "Besides, the more she pays, the deeper the knife goes into the ponies who were supposed to get the job done."

"All right, she showers me with riches and that hurts my dad, fine," Fancy replied, "But if she gives me a knighthood, I'm punching you right in the nose."

"I think an archduchy was what she had in mind," Cadence said.
------------------------------

Fifteen chalkboards hadn't been enough. The equations continued on sheets of paper, including one tacked on the side of an irritated dragon.

"Hello?" Fancy called as she looked around. Discord didn't worry her, but this insanity was not what she had expected nor was mentally prepared for.

"She's asleep," Spike said, standing unmoving among the drifts of paper, "Can you, uh, doing something about this?"

"I didn't bring a flamethrower. Would an easel do?" she asked as she assembled a stand and removed the papers from Spike and placed them on the stand in approximately the same position. "Do I even want to know?"

"Discord found out that chaos follows very complex mathematical patterns. He spent most of last night explaining it to Twilight. She returned from breakfast, and did this," Spike said as she levitated him out of the overwhelmed room. "About an hour ago, she stood up said 'I finally understand' ate her last piece of chalk and went in to fall asleep."

"I'm beginning to understand how it all happened," Fancy said, "She gets - excited, doesn't she?"

"You have no idea," Spike said.

"I think I have a fair idea," Fancy replied, "While she's off chasing Breezies, would you like to meet Dipper?"

"Sure, but I have to be back in about an hour and a half. That's when she'll wake up."

"You know her pretty well," Fancy said as they walked.

"Number one assistant," Spike said, puffing out his chest proudly.

"So, if somepony hurt Celestia, a pony from another world. And Twilight could reach into that world. She'd interrogate a pony from that world pretty harshly, wouldn't she?"

"Hurt Celestia? She'd invent new ways to get the information out of that pony," Spike said, "Ask Pinkie Pie about Twilight investigating something." Spike shook his head ruefully. "But Celestia, Shining Armor or Cadence would stop her before she hurt anypony."

Fancy nodded. "Would Luna?"

Spike tapped his chin as they walked. "Hurt Celestia. I think she might even help Twilight," Spike said, "Then you'd definitely need Celestia to stop her. Why do you ask?"

"I took a look in that room, thought about Twilight being a princess now, and wondered."

"So, I should have Celestia with me when she wakes up?" Spike asked.

"And Cadence," Fancy said.

Spike nodded.
------------------------------

The first fifty sets sat on the long banquet table as the princesses started in wonder. All boxed up, and ready.

"The remainder will be delivered by the end of the week," Fancy said, "I hope this meets with Their Highness' approval."

All but Cadence stared in stunned amazement at the little unicorn. Cadence made 'go on' motions.

"Your Highness Princess Luna," Fancy said and bowed, "I must apologize, it never occurred to me that after the first night of examining my sarsaparilla dreams, that you'd ever consider going in again, night after night. If I had known that was your intention, I would have made my intent much clearer."

Luna nodded, but had taken on a distinctive teal cast to her features.

"Your Highness, Princess Sparkle. It was presumptuous of me to suborn your assistant in my task of finding the manufacturer. I should have realized that not consulting such an expert on Canterlot was not an oversight on your part. It was impertinent of me to think otherwise."

Twilight grinned nervously.

"Lord Thunder, I owe you an apology as well. When I took Discord's commission, I did not even consider how my success would redound negatively on yourself and your family. I can only offer my own ignorance of the situation as defense."

The old unicorn looked like he'd rather be chewing nails that being here. But a Royal summons could not be overlooked, even by as August a personage as himself. The fact that Discord stood in the corner, holding a giggling foal, and glaring at half the assembly helped matters not one bit. "A true daughter of Equestria could do no less than serve the Pony Sisters in time of need," the old stallion ground out.

Fancy nodded, and Celestia smiled over all of them. "It's so nice we can all be friends."

Lord Thunder looked at Celestia as if she'd started giggling during a funeral.

"Considering all the apologizing going on," Cadence said, "I think you and Twilight need a little privacy. Don't you think, auntie?"

Celestia grimaced but nodded, leading Twilight away from the crowd. Fancy drifted over to Discord and Dipper. Her once-father did not follow.

"It hurts to lose someone," Discord said, looking everywhere in the room, save at Celestia.

"Relationships are anchors to hold you in stormy times. But there are times you need to cast away the anchors and fly free," Fancy said. "I take it you know about events here."

"He'd reappear at our planets' relative linear and rotational velocities, with no chance of being returned near his home, let alone over land, or even at a safe altitude," Discord said, "While you could develop lifesaving equipment to make the return more survivable, there's no way to guarantee it. Nothing available would let him survive hitting the water at transonic velocity."

"So he's stuck here," Fancy said.

"If they begin experimenting, there is a good chance someone might come through and demand restitution or justice. No one is ready for that," Discord said.

"A true son of Equestria could do no less than serve the Pony Sisters in time of need. Even if that need is covering over a chain of utter stupidity," Fancy said.

" 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.' Ponies need to think of the Princesses a certain way. Whether even the princesses want them to or not," Discord said.

" 'To the one, they care not who was served or why, merely that they were served up'," Fancy said.

"Don't forget, you grew up here. The Pony Sisters, and the other princesses desperately want to be loved for who they are. Those in Canterlot who do can be counted on the fingers of one paw. Now Luna and Twilight know there's at least one person out there who given a choice between trusting Nightmare Moon, Sombra, or Tirek, and trusting one of them, would have to have to seriously think about it. That's a poison that will only grow with time. For someone with even a tiny conscience, there's a grave difference between being hated by the unwashed, ignorant masses, and being hated for something you deserve to be hated for."

Fancy frowned. "For Princess Luna, I agree. You're forgetting, I knew Twilight as a student. If it was 'for Celestia' all considerations went out the window. My cousin said Celestia's previous student was even worse, could turn into a real monster to get what she wanted done."

Discord nodded. "I always wondered where she found the courage to face me not once, but twice."
------------------------------

The rest of the sets had been delivered to their Highnesses, and thence to the donors. All a week ahead of schedule, the hoofdragging by certain ponies hadn't been enough to stop Fancy's plans. The celebration had Fancy's team in the throne room listening to the speeches. Her plans to escape that had been thwarted by more competent opposition and that her heart wasn't in it. Spike taking her team on special-access tours to every really good sculpture gallery was dirty pool she thought.

"Entertain self by counting adverbs," Buzz said to Shadow Lightning.

Dipper had taken a more direct route and had gone to sleep in her mother's arms. Fancy was glad she had nothing else to do, or she would have been looking at her watch as the useless speechifying and the building a case for why it wasn't their fault continued.

I knew we should have taken Discord's offer of slipping us aboard a fast transport and getting us out of the country before anyone was the wiser, Fancy thought and noted Discord was no where to be seen.

The stallion who'd once been her brother was discussing the hardships they'd failed to overcome, and how glad that a 'foreign firm' could be brought in. The applause at his excuse-making was polite with a hint of enthusiastic. Fancy struggled not to yawn, and remain awake enough to know when she and her team were being summoned.

After a horrible and almost terminally boring interval, Her Solar Highness called on her. Per their lessons, which had been almost as tedious as the actual event, they went up together. The functionaries had been insistent they go up one at a time. Fancy knew that when a foreign VIP went up before the Diarchy, their bodyguard was permitted to accompany them. Unarmed, but she would have bet that her team would match any equal number of nobles. And she wasn't going five feet away from Dipper with so many of her once family present in the room.

With Buzz playing tail-end Charlie, and Shadow and Blizzard flanking her, Fancy could at least seem that she was enjoying this.

"My what a fierce defense," Celestia said only loudly enough for Fancy and her team to hear.

"Better I geld them, than Discord catch," Buzz said just as quietly.

Celestia raised an eyebrow at that, but Buzz just answered with one of her own. Until that moment, Fancy had discounted the story of the 'pony-ninja' they'd captured.

I guess they really did tie weights to its feet and throw it in the Lunar Reflecting Pool, Fancy thought, I wonder who was more surprised that the water there is only a two-feet deep, the 'ninja', or the throwers?

"For your excellent service to the crown," Celestia said.

It was all Fancy could do not to flinch.

"I name you Archduchess of the province of Legatio Indispositus Ortus," Celestia said, "And the title shall be carried through primarily the matriarchal line. Making Dipper the heir presumptive."

I don't know who squawked louder, Discord, or good-old dad, Fancy thought.

"I am - " Fancy began as she bowed, only for Celestia's hoof to gently but firmly hold her chin up.

Celestia bowed to the accompaniment of near shrieks from the crowd. "An Archduchess outranks a princess."

Then how by horn rot did you give me a rank above your own? And I've never even heard of that province! Fancy thought. Each of her three assistants received a Knighthood, not mere memberships in the Order of the Alicorn as Fancy expected, but Grand Commanders in the Order of the Garden. Another order I've never heard of. I'd think she made this up on the spot, except none of the usual suspects are collapsing in apoplexy, Fancy thought as she scanned the ministers off to the left and right who were simply writing down the recipient's full names, Okay, she's getting me back for all the trouble I've caused her student and her sister. And giving dear, old dad the screaming mimis, so I guess this new Order of the Garden is higher than his Order of the Rose. Judging from his position on the floor with my wonderful mother fanning him, it must be a good deal higher.

"Besatrix Undinial Zuriper Zolachi," Buzz said in a loud, clear voice, looking particularly horrified. Then added quietly, "Now you know why is called Buzz. Prefers it."

"Are all diamond dog names like that?" Stone Blizzard whispered.

"Pretty much," Buzz replied.

"Make a note," Celestia told the secretary who looked vaguely horrified, but made the note as ordered.

"It sets a Precedent," the scribe said.

"Only for this Order," Celestia replied smoothly.

Oh griffonflops! Fancy thought, She's really turning the screws to those idiots, isn't she. The Order of the Garden now allows nicknames be entered as the knight's proper address. Of course nobody outside of Canterlot would understand why it's 'the end of civilization as we know it!' Nor would they care.

As one they turned to receive the 'Accolade of the Court', the most tepid, half-hearted applause Fancy had ever witnessed. Except for Discord, Fluttershy and her four friends, Spike, Empress Cadence and King-Consort Shining Armor, and their guards whooping up a storm. Poor Princess Twilight was trying to figure out what was going on. Princess Luna was definitely having some serious issues with the goings on, but couldn't settle on horrifying, hilarious, or simply headachy long enough to craft a proper response. Discord giving Princess Celestia a polite curtsy didn't help either of the junior princesses.

With that they transitioned to the banquet hall and the reception. Where more speeches, including one Fancy would have to deliver, would raise their ugly heads. Before she left the throne room, one of the scribes presented her with a scroll. It was the charter of the Order of the Garden. She was the Chancellor of the Order, and there was a lot of hurly-burly in ancient form about upholding and maintaining the garden that she couldn't make heads of tails of. Adding to that, Discord was Dean of the Order.

At least I have someone to ask about what the hay is going on, Fancy thought as she made a slow circuit of the hall, with Dipper at her side. Her luck of only meeting the vaguely disquieted nobles who hadn't realized the whole thing was a slap in the face, ended as Jet Set and Upper Crust approached.

"How wonderful for you," Upper Crust said, pointedly missing that she should have addressed her by her title or either 'Your Imperial and Royal Highness' or 'Your Highness'. "Is that little Dipper?" she asked and stared at the foal.

Either Dipper sensed Upper Crust's true nature, or she picked up on her mother's defensive stance, because she let out a shriek that instantly separated every parent/older sibling from those who'd never heard a child of their family let off a sound like that. "The bad pony's tryin' ta hurt my mommy!" She latched onto Fancy's foreleg with both of hers and tried to shove Fancy back with all her force.

"Well! I never!" Upper Crust exclaimed as shied back.

"The bad pony's tryin' ta hurt my mommy!" Dipper repeated in case someone in VanHoover hadn't heard her the first time.

Discord wasn't quite tossing ponies out of the way, but it was a near thing. The wall of white interposed between Fancy and Upper Crust let Fancy collect the still sobbing Dipper.

"Forgive us Archduchess," Blueblood said and gave Upper Crust a glare that promised a request for seconds and a choice of weapons at dawn, "That was very rude." The terror his glare created on Jet Set and Upper Crust's faces indicated that the Prince hadn't fallen as far from the tree as was general surmised.

"Terribly sorry," Jet Set stammered.

" 'Terribly sorry', YOUR HIGHNESS," Blueblood growled.

"Terribly sorry, Your Highness," Jet Set managed as he and Upper Crust fell back within the crowd. As several of Blueblood's 'crowd' moved in to support him and screen Fancy.

Discord arrived and laid a hand on Dipper which also eased her sniffling and shaking.

"Aurora, if you wouldn't mind," Blueblood said to a mare who looked like she personified 'the Upper-Class Twit'. Except she wore an officer's jacket, and there was a flash of hidden cunning, then the return of the face that didn't launch a thousand ship, because it got lost on its way to the harbor.

"Archduchess, I'm a duchess too, although you're and arched one and I'm a straight one, not that you aren't too, but I've heard that you took up with the creature, well they say Princess Twilight summoned it to deal with her loneliness, and Princess Luna stole it away, and when they fought they teleported it out of the country so neither of them could have it, now that's kind of silly I mean isn't sharing so important?"

Fancy realized why Aurora was such a decorated officer, they could drop her on an enemy headquarters and let her just talk. The entire command center would be paralyzed allowing the entire Equestrian Army to march past without being noticed. If Discord's expression is any indication, it works on draconequi too, Fancy thought, even Dipper had stopped fussing and was staring at the stupidly grinning mare.

"Oh, while I've got you both here, I had an idea, well not an idea but a suggestion, the idea came first but it was kind of embarrassing, but not that embarrassing considering I had fun while I was dating them and I've got no regrets but I always came back to ponies cause they fit better and I realized I couldn't tell you all the ways we had to work at it, especially with a little one sitting there, not that getting the little one started and out wouldn't give you a lot of experience in that regard, it's just that it's so much easier when you're both the same shape and instincts. It's a comfort thing, right Discord?" Aurora said and grinned.

I'm not sure if those are tears of joy or frustration, Fancy thought of Discord's befuddled expression, Starting a kid, dating, the same shape . . . she isn't suggesting-? Yes, that's exactly what she's suggesting, and it's brilliant!

"Who knew that lime jello was such a turn off to diamond dogs, of course I apologized but he never wanted to see me again, which is really sad cause we had something really special, besides the obvious."

" 'Obvious'?" Discord asked sounding lost and adrift.

"Yeah, we were both officers on a frontier post, loneliness of command and all that. I never understood why I got sent there, I was doing such a spiffy job with General Rockwall and the Quartermaster corps, except for his colonel selling off the dinner trays to get melted down, but that wasn't his fault, I mean the investigation cleared him and -"

"Pardon me," Fancy said.

"Oh I do go on, sorry Archduchess." Aurora seemed to enjoy saying that title.

"Discord, from our earlier discussion could you create say a horn ring that would let me change forms. Just one setting, if you understand what I mean."

"I'm not sure I understand anything right now," Discord admitted, took off his head, shook it and put it back on. "Better. My expertise in the aesthetics and instincts are what you're after?" he asked.

"Yes," she told him and caught Aurora's faint smile before it blossomed back into an idiot grin.

"Oh wow, they say interfacing with people is a good way to get to know them and walking a mile in their shoes but nailing horseshoes to them just gets them mad so I guess some nonpony race came up with that saying and not ponies, but they would be not ponies if they were nonponies after all, so that's silly, and speaking of silly, I heard that you and him, he is a him right, it would be weird to say he was an it but it was a him would be a little insulting so I guess he was a him is about the best you can do. So you and he have a bad history with Upper Crust in common but I wouldn't mention it just yet as you are estranged from your family and you're trying to be less estranged from his so it would be important to tell him before the wedding but well after the cuddling. Don't you agree?"

"I'm going to go with yes," Fancy said, "Why didn't they ask you to interrogate him? You and Pinkie Pie would have been perfect."

Aurora shrugged. "That would have been Celestia's plan."

Fancy and Discord nodded at that.

Next Chapter: 3) The Conjugation Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 29 Minutes
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