To whomever finds this journal full of daydreams and scattered thoughts traitorous to everything simple, I would bid you to return it where ever you found it and forget what you have read. This confessional was started in the attempts of correcting my language when it comes to teaching my student and our newest Princess, Twilight Sparkle. Created in haste after I foolishly left a practice letter that should have never reached my student in the open, free for any wandering well-meaning hoof to send.

Sometimes, I forget that they, the ponies who make up most of my day and fills my thoughts at night, are mortal. I am lucky that my student believes that the practice letter was a work of fiction, meant to test her mental wit. I am not sure whether to be offended that she thought this long before I could send a following letter, correcting the things I said to fall in line with recent Equestrian values.

Nevertheless, I learn many things from them that I couldn't learn alone. Things that I was blind to many eons ago and perhaps even still. And it is with this, I admit my shame, my mere slip of the tongue. How freely I spoke of violence, pettiness and revenge... To tell it to Twilight as a joke and jest... To believe that she would laugh along like Discord, Luna, Cadence, that fool Chrysalis or any other entity that could understand...

There is a reason why I do not freely place my thoughts within textbooks and museums and I forgot why when it came to Twilight. It is true that she has ascended under the twin powers of friendship and harmony but yet... Twilight is mortal and she will likely never lose that morality that defines her being.

Perhaps, if I work out my words and define these half-thoughts I buried away, I could have something of value to tell Twilight. I know how mortals think, how they dream, how they are and at this moment, this most crucial of times, my knowledge falls short.

Dear Hypothetical Twilight,

What do you think of immortality? Can you define it? It is a rather unfamiliar word to me. Yes, I've used and talked of it before in speeches, papers and things of a theocratic slant. How could I not? Others have used it towards me, for better or worse and I've always stayed silent on the subject. Immortality. I think of it being a silly concept to be interested in. I would never use the term towards myself. It's the root word that I do not like. That I do not embody. I have never been mortal and crueler still, I do not seek to be. Immortality or immortal are words better to be used towards great deeds, great wonders and even greater actions. I think of you deserving to be immortal, my faithful student.

I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I know that you would not want to be referred as that. But I mean it as... These words... Perhaps they're too clumsy for you to understand. Let me try again...

Eons ago, my original form was merely stardust fleeing from one end of the never-ending sky to the other. I was a combination of glittering ice, little energy and dim light and I spent the bulk of that existence riding onto rocks hurling into space, creating trails of silver dust in my wake.

On occasion, I would collect enough energy and become a star in my own right. Losing my freedom for the sake of clustering together the very lumps of meteoroids, fragments of lost planets and chunks of ice I'd played with only a while ago. I would grow through many fluxes of strength and light, spreading my power far and wide. Eventually, my grip upon everything in my grasp would waver, fracture and I'd burn from the inside out and collapse into many.

Where I was stellar dust, my sister was of cosmic dust, a wayward fool that clung to asteroids and created long chains of stones herding together. Instead of seeking the expanse of the endless void and joining me on journeys onward, she spent her time cultivating her collection of stones. I remember thinking of her as being dreadfully boring and whenever I had the chance, I'd swipe her and together we'd become a comet. Continuing on and on until time, eternity and infinity eat each other as they age away into irrelevance. Eventually, I would become a heavenly body once more and she would build a garden of sorts to float around in my grasp, waiting until I was able to be free to roam again.

I bring all of this up to explain my way of thinking... Though again, I might have only made you more confused.

As born from and as dust that is so similar to what one sweeps from under a rug, the same experience that you share with your mother and father, your brother, dear Spike and your many friends... I can't not emote the same feelings. I can understand, I can study and I can comprehend the cause and effect of things. If I hurt you, you will cry. If I love you, you will smile. These things I keep in mind when I deal with mortals... Even with immortals born on this planet...

I am not lacking the ability to feel or experience things but I receive it abstractly.

The desire for food, drink, company and happiness... Those things are crafted in every living being by nature and nurture... One is a by-product of their environment and biology.

Should this world end and I am thrown back to the cosmos, I would relatively be the same as always and return to running into oblivion until something else catches my attention. And there in lies the problem. I act on impulse and imposed consequences that I use to chart my path. I do not consider anything due to my own moral code. If anything, I am the personification of 'It seemed like it was a good idea at the time.' Of course, my idea of 'good' and 'time' are heavily skewed. I try to believe in my subjects' gratitude and annoyance with my rule as all of this is something more, something meaningful. That mythical meaning that only mortals can fall in love with as they either strive or falter to achieve it.

Twilight, you have become immortal but I wish to be clear about this divide between us, this gulf between creatures that are planet-bound and entities like myself.

I am meaning and I have never been without. I know who I am, who I was and who I will be. There is a unshakeable comfort that I can take in that. Mortals are fleeting, Equestria is fleeting and soon our little corner of the universe will also dissolve into particles of sands and memories.

I look forward to that as much as I admire and take care of my kingdom. Ruling is no different to me than increasing in mass during my state as a star. I am mindful of my little ones' feelings and I would not like them to know that everything they've done or will ever do is of my design. Not a grand design that takes account of their woes and triumphs but one of... Whims. Only whims and nothing more.

Here is a suggested activity for the week: Take a plate of food, preferably a daisy sandwich and a drink, and eat as slowly as you can. Please record your experience as clearly as you can. Consider this question while you do so. Does the meal taste sweeter or blander the longer you eat it?