Chapter 9

Patton nodded his head slowly, stroking the stubble on his chin deep in thought. He needed a shave, all of the humans did. The General needede to have a diplomatic and serios conversation with the princesses and he would be harder to do that with the other humans in the room. Patton sighed loudly then turned to the other humans.

“Men,” he said. “Please step outside while I talk with the Princesses. Frederic, would you like to stay and talk as well?”

“Nein, no.” The German commander shook his head. “I will be with my men by our Panzer. I have no interest in helping these.” He looked distastefully at Celestia. “Ponies.”

With that said the Germans made their way to the back door. Patton watched them go, shaking his head in disappointment.

“My little ponies,” Celestia said to the six friends. “How about you show the humans around Ponyville while we talk. Rainbow Dash, you should get some rest.”

“She can use Apple Bloom’s bed upstairs,” Applejack chimed. “She ain’t home right now. Probably out with her friends.”

Rainbow Dash sighed, sad that she wouldn't be able to go with them. She glared reproachfully at Matt who looked away, unable to meet her gaze. Twilight opened her mouth to ask the Princess a series of questions but stopped herself. Everything was so confusing. A war and the Princess kidnapping humans from their world to help Equestria? What was happening? All of those questions and worries would just have to wait though.

“Yes Princess,” she replied quietly.

“Hey Fishy,” Ian said. “Can you and Shelly pick up Bill and take him to the barn?”

Jeff nodded and Matt sighed unhappily but they both lifted the driver between them and carried him outside. Ian turned to Patton.

“Are you sure you want me to go? I don't feel comfortable leaving you here with five angry Germans and one equally pissed off driver.”

“You can stay if you want to.”

“I shall stay sir.” Ian looked at Zeus but the gunner knew what he was going to ask.

“I will keep an eye on Shelly and Fishy sir.”

“Very good.”

Zeus saluted then turned and walked out of the door. The fresh, open air was a much needed change from the crowded farmhouse. Outside he found Fishy and Matt leaving the barn. Matt instantly made a beeline towards the Germans, curiosity overflowing.

“Shelly, where are you going?” Zeus questioned.

“To get something from the tank,” Matt lied.

The Germans looked up as Matt approached. They were scattered around their tank but as the American neared they grouped up and met him halfway in an attempt to block his path.

“Vat do you vant American?” Frederic asked dully. He was growing tired of Matt in particular.

“I just have a question that will determine how I think about you,” Matt replied with a smile.

“I don’t vant to play your silly games.” Frederic crossed his arms and stared intimidatingly at him.

“It is not a game,” Matt stopped smiling. “All I want to know is are you guys Wehrmacht or SS?”

“Ve are all Wehrmacht.” The German commander rolled his eyes. “But Felix here has close ties vis the SS. His brothers are all officers in the SS.”

Felix, at the sound of his name and the mention of the SS, smiled twistedly at Matt who glared back.

“I don’t like you.” Matt said to Felix as he backed away and walked over to the Sherman. “I am getting Bill his smokes that way he won't be as angry when he wakes up.”

“Get mine too,” Zeus said eagerly.

“There ya fellas are,” Applejack exclaimed as the ponies rounded the house corner.

Zeus turned and nodded at the five approaching ponies. Behind him Matt was climbing into the tank, much to the discomfort of the Germans. A few moments later three small packets of cigarettes flew from the open hatch, one of which smacked Zeus in the back of the head. Zeus ground his teeth angrily but remained calm.

“You guys ready for a tour of Ponyville?” Pinkie said excitedly. Apparently what the Princess had said earlier had not dampened her mood. The same could not be said about the other four.

“Hell yeah!” Matt replied as he emerged from the tank.

“What is the third packet of smokes for?” Zeus asked.

“I was going to be nice and give it to the Germans.” Matt leaped off the tank.

“I thank you for the cigarettes,” Frederic picked one up off of the ground and handed it to Felix who removed a cigarette and passed the pack to the other Germans. Frederic continued. “Now go and enjoy your tour.”

The Americans and five ponies started in the direction of Ponyville with Twilight in the lead. Everyone remained silent as they walked, too deep in thought about the events of the day. Everyone except Matt and Pinkie.

“So, will people-I mean ponies be shocked to see us when we get to Pony Town?” Matt asked.

“It’s called Ponyville silly and I’m sure they’ll warm up to you very quickly!” Pinkie walked backwards as she talked to Matt. “You are a nice person, you gave a gift to the people that don’t like you. The ponies in Ponyville will like that about you. But I don’t think they will like Bill that much. He is a little mean.”

“Yeah, Bill is an ass.” Matt laughed. “So where are we going first?”

“We’re going to my library,” Twilight said unexpectedly.

“While you guys hang out there I’ll be getting a party ready!” Pinkie jumped nearly ten feet, paused mid air and then fell back to the ground still radiating excitement.

“How did you do that?” Matt stared open mouthed at Pinkie.

“How did I do what?”

“How did you... never mind.” Matt shook his head. “I’m in a world with talking ponies and magic.”

Pinkie Pie shrugged, dismissing Matt’s strange question as she continued to trot backwards. Very soon the group reached the edge of Ponyville. Matt examined the modest and peaceful town.

“It sort of reminds me of that one town in France. You know the one where that SS devision was dug in?” Matt said to the other humans. “Except full of ponies. And it isn't on fire and bombed out.”

Zeus chuckled to himself as he tried to light a cigarette with his Zippo lighter. Twilight watched him intently as he succeeded in getting it lit. The gunner noticed the unicorn watching him and he stared back.

“Let me guess,” Zeus said flatly. “You don't have tobacco products here.”

She shook her head. “We don’t have that little metal thing that starts fire either.”

“Pity. I didn't start smoking until I joined the navy.” Zeus took a long draw from the cigarette. “And I started smoking even more when I joined the army and got stuck in a metal box with this dumb ass all day. Do you want one?”

Twilight considered the offer momentarily but shook her head.

“It doesn't seem healthy.”

“The doctors, tobacco companies and government say that there isn't anything unhealthy about them,” Zeus shrugged and finished his cigarette. “We have hundreds of them in the tank. They relax you when you are stressed out or angry. Matt stole them whenever he got the chance.”

“You humans must have very low morals,” Rarity said, shaking her head. “You swear excessively, you steal and you are always fighting amongst yourselves. Very barbaric in my opinion.”

“War does that to a person.” Zeus smiled as he lit another cigarette. He tossed the old one into the grass, much to the annoyance of the ponies. “But from what I heard your Princess say, you will soon see for yourself what war can do. To both a nation and an individual.”

After that gloomy statement they entered Ponyville in complete silence. The first ponies they met where none other than Applebloom, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo.

“Ah told ya I ain't lyin’,” the yellow earth pony said to her friends. “But they are taller than Ah thought they were.”

The other two fillies stared open mouthed at the humans and they stared back.

“Aren't they just the cutest things you have ever seen?” Matt squealed.

“Sure,” Zeus mumbled through his cigarette.

“Don't call me cute!” Scootaloo growled.

“Aww,” Matt smiled. “I made it angry. Now it’s even more cute.”

They started walking again with the fillies following close behind. Ponies stopped and watched them pass. Pinkie separated from the group and headed towards Sugarcube Corner. When they reached Twilight’s library Zeus whistled in wonder.

“Nice house,” he said through a third cigarette. He normally didn't smoke that many in such a short amount of time but the recent events were taxing on his nerves.

“Thank you,” Twilight replied as she opened the door and let them in.

Jeff looked around and immediately started picking through books, trying to find something interesting. He finally settled on a book titled ‘The History of Equestria, Volume 2’. The other two humans found the nearest seats and sat down heavily. Zeus fell asleep but Matt remained awake and looked around the room.

"Twilight what took you so long to get home?" Spike stopped at the base of the stairs and looked at the humans. "I thought you said you were going out to find a giant turtle Twilight?"

"This place just gets queerer and queerer." Zeus sighed and shook his head. He was a little annoyed that his nap was interrupted.

"Wow," Matt stood up and stepped closer to Spike. "A talking lizard."

"I am not a lizard," Spike crossed his arms and smiled proudly "I am a baby dragon."

"I like this place more and more, they have dragons," Matt muttered to himself as he returned to his seat. After a few minutes of sitting quietly he started another conversation.

“So I have seen three races of ponies so far,” he said, looking between the ponies. “Unicorns, normal ponies, and pegasuses.”

“Pegasi,” Fluttershy corrected him politely.

“Oh.” Matt shrugged. ”Are there more? Oh wait, your princesses are a larger mix of unicorns and pegasuses, I mean pegasi.”

“They are commonly referred to as alicorns and they are almost the last two of their kind.” Twilight stated matter of factly.

Jeff looked up from the book he was reading. “Ah thought alicorn was the material that unicorn horns were made out of? Durin’ the middle ages alicorn was believed to cure diseases and remove poison and impurities from water and wine. Later on it became known that it was just the horn of a narwhal that whalers were sellin’ as unicorn horn.”

Twilight looked at him, open mouthed and confused. Matt shook his head.

“Fishy, we don't care what alicorn is in our world.”

Zeus woke up again and hit Matt in the arm.

“Fishy can be smart if he wants to be,” he said and promptly fell back to sleep.

Jeff went back to his reading. Matt looked out of the window and noticed two more humans approaching the town.

“Oh look we have guests!” Matt cheered. He stood, left the library and made his way toward them with Twilight, Applejack and Rarity following. When he got closer to them he realised that they were both German.

“Hallo,” Matt said cheerfully. “Guten Abend!”

Benjamin and Udo glared at the approaching American then returned their attention to a stall of watermelons with a pony standing nervously behind it.

“Can-can I help you,” she squeaked.

“Nein,” Udo said.

“You want to buy nine watermelons?”

Udo sighed and shook his head.

“I would like to buy one watermelon please,” Twilight said as she placed two bits on the counter. The unicorn then magically lifted one of the fruits and held it in front of the Germans. They stared at it hesitantly then Udo took it.

“Uh, zank you,” Udo said slowly, holdiing the mellon under his arm.

“I didn't know you knew english too,” Matt exclaimed.

“A few vords,” Udo replied as Benjamin rolled his eyes. “Frederic uh, decided to talk to die Princess vith Patton. Ve, uh, decided to kommen here und uh, pass time.”

“You want to look around Ponyville with us?” Twilight asked, moving her hoof around to try and demonstrate here comment better.

The Germans thought for a moment but before they could give a response the cutie mark crusaders trotted up, curious about the two new humans.

“Howdy,” Applebloom said.

The Germans looked at her quizzically.

“They don’t speak Equestrian that well,” Applejack stated.

“Or redneck,” Matt chuckled to himself. He looked at the crowd a ponies slowly forming around them. The Germans seemed to have noticed as well.

“Can ve gehen- go inside?” Udo looked uneasily at the ponies surrounding them.

“Sure,” Twilight smiled. “We will head back to the library.”

When they returned Jeff peered up from his journal, looked passively at the Germans then went back to his writings. Zeus opened his eyes and frowned as they entered. Twilight immediately headed towards a pile of books next to Jeff, picked one and started to read it to herself. The others scattered around the room and did their own things.

“Hello Germans,” Zeus said flatly.

“Hallo Amerikaner,” Udo replied with an equal lack of emotion.

They receded into silence with the only sounds being the flipping of paper and the continuous scratching of Jeff’s pencil. After a while Pinkie Pie burst into the room.

“The party starts in a few minutes and I invited everypony in Ponyville!”

“I don’t think that was a good idea Pinkie to invite the whole town,” Twilight groaned.

Pinkie looked hurt but continued to smile. “Why would a party be a bad idea?”

"But parties are always a good idea Twi," Spike frowned.

“Yeah,” Matt said. “Parties are always a good idea.”

Twilight shook her head. “I just don’t know how other ponies will react to these humans.”

“They're gonna have to get used to them sometime.”Applejack stated.

“I could always go for some good food,” Zeus stood up and stretched. “Come Fishy, we are celebrating something and there will be food.”

Jeff stood and the Americans followed the pink pony. Reluctantly the Germans and other ponies followed. The party turned out to be in the town park with several dozen ponies already there, excited to get a close up look at the humans. The Americans gave little heed to the ponies though and made for the large table filled with good looking pies, cakes and drinks. The Germans lingered on the edge of the party, unsure what they should do. Very few ponies tried to strike up a conversation with the humans and when they did, the dialogue was short and vague. The conversations with the Germans died as quickly as they started. The only human that talked openly with the ponies was Matt.

“So when I joined the army the first person I met when I go to boot camp was this nice nurse.” Matt was saying to a group of uncomfortable ponies. ”Now we didn't know each other but later that night she got to know me very well.”

“I don’t understand,” Sweetie Bell said. “Did you two have a conversation?”

“It was sort of like conversation. But you're too young to understand,” Matt said through a mouthful of pie.

“I don’t understand either,” said a grey pegasus with yellow eyes looking in opposite directions.

“Well you're just-“ Matt watched, mesmerized, as her eyes swirl around individually. “You're just odd.”

The pegasus hung her head and ran away from the party.

“Sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he called after her.

“Just give an apology muffin to the poor dear and she will quickly forgive you,” Rarity told him.

Matt was working on his fifth piece of pie when Ian, Frederic and one of Celestia’s royal guards showed up at the party. Both tank commanders looked around at the festivities.

“Men!” Ian thundered over the voices and music. The ponies that hadn’t seen the two new humans approach turned and looked at them with surprise in their eyes.

After the humans turned their attention to him Ian continued. “We are heading back to the farm. Patton has some important information he wants to share with you.”

“Damn,” Matt groaned as he grabbed some cake and pie to eat later. “I was having fun.”

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For those of you anxiosly awaiting the moment when shit gets ultimately real then you will not be disapointed when Chapter 10 comes out. After chapter 10 everything will become more fast paced (but not too fast) and will become the amazing Patton baing a boss story you are all waiting for.