-Salts to Sooth the Soul-

The Ponyville Spa looked much like a circus tent, or several circus tents that had been stitched together into a much larger multi-room tent. In truth there was a real building beneath, but it made the Spa one of Ponyville’s most iconic buildings; Second only to the Town Hall and Sugercube Corner.

The baths were always hot. The massages were done with professionalism and skill. And the twins who owned the Spa were expert hairdressers and beauticians. Not only could they massage away a pony’s stress; they could also trim, brush, and generally pamper a pony until they looked just as good as they felt.

This made it no surprise that it was Rarity’s favorite place to go when she felt stressed. And it was not uncommon for her to treat her friends to a day at the Spa as well. It was a surprise to the twins, however, when the imposing bulk of Coalback and his Guards entered the Spa alongside Rarity and her friends.

The lobby was clean and had a soft scent of bleach and rubbing alcohol, a stick of incense burned in the corner to offset the smell with a cinnamon scent. A set of cushioned benches gave those waiting to enter a place to rest, and plenty of fashion and health magazines were racked nearby. A blue mare hummed to herself at the front desk, her pink mane reflected in the glass case hanging from an office door that boasted of their various services. She jumped to attention when the front door opened and her eyes widened in surprise at the crowd of ponies.

“Aloe! Aloe! Der Wätcherpferde ist hier!” the blue mare at the desk hissed into the door behind her. Her pink mane draped down her neck and whipped just enough to be called graceful.

“Vas?” came another voice from the door. “Diejenigen, die diese Bande Kämpfte?

“Ja! Ja!” the blue mare hopped in place. A moment later a pink mare joined her, practically a mirror image of the other with flipped colors. The door was just closing behind their guests when her eyes widened at the sight of the huge, armored Pegasus. “Glauben Sie, dass er will, eine Spa-Behandlung, als auch?”

“Hallo, Miss Rarity,” the pink one said as she shushed the other with a hoof. “The usual, today?” she asked with a bright smile. Her accent was thick with rolling r’s and stretched e’s, but far from being impossible to understand.

“No thank you, Aloe, darling,” Rarity said with an equally bright smile. “But we do need a bath; we just went to see if we could find Zecora. No luck, unfortunately. She seems to have had to leave and didn’t want anyone following her-“ Rarity was interrupted by a growl-like grunt from Coalback who stood near the door. “The point is,” she said with a frown, “we had to walk through some horrid Poison Joke on the way. We’d like the Poison Joke treatment to forestall anything horrible!” She shivered in memory of the horrible dreadlocks it had given her last time. “It’s all nine of us today, how much will that be?” she asked as she summoned her coin purse with a gentle sparkle of light.

“Oh, normally it would be forty bits per pony. But-“

“Herr Coalback, please accept an offer to any free spa treatment!” the blue mare blurted out with a stiff bow. “The stallions you ran out of town harassed us endlessly and we are extremely grateful that you got rid of them. We would have written letters to the nearest Guard station but they chased off anypony that tried to use the mail and they searched any Pegasi with bags. We felt hopeless. We thought they might rape us!”

The Elements looked in shock at her outburst, but soon Aloe joined her sister. “Lotus and I were scared for our lives until you and your Guards came to town. We can’t thank you enough for getting rid of them,” she said, her words heavy with tears. She bowed as well, though behind the counter it was mostly hidden.

“So please accept our humble offer,” Lotus finished.

Before anypony could speak again, Coalback walked up to the counter in his heavy boots. He pulled a small sack bulging with coins out from his armor and counted out twelve ten-bit coins. “Ich bestehe darauf, thay wir zahlen. Haben Sie ein Rauchenzimmer?” he said in sharply cut Germane.

The sisters nearly jumped out of their skin when they heard their native language come out of his mouth, as butchered an accent as it was. Aloe shook her head. “Da ist die Sauna …” she muttered. When Coalback nodded she simply pointed to the display where ‘Sauna – 20 bits per hour per pony’ was written in flowing script. Coalback counted out four more ten-bit coins and placed them on the counter.

Coalback stepped back from the counter as, still bearing their confusion, the twins counted the coins and put them in their cash register. He looked back at the equally surprised faces of his charges. “What?” he grunted as he put his money back into the hidden pocket of his armor.

“When did you learn Germane?” Twilight sputtered, her incredulity plain in her voice as she held back a twitch of utter confusion. “I thought you didn’t speak any pony languages.” His nonchalance only irritated her further. And she was almost led to believe he’d somehow learned another language while she hadn't been looking.

“Germane is like Deutsch. Equestrian is like strange version of Latin,” he said with a shrug. “I knew Deutsch, I never knew Latin.” He scoffed and tossed a paper wrapped package to Iron Bar. “Burn this while you are in the sauna later, don't let anypony else breathe it in,” he grunted at them.

“Let’s just get this over with before something weirder happens,” Applejack grumbled as she pulled some bits from her hat. Pinkie giggled and did likewise and was soon followed by the others; it seemed Rarity would only be paying for herself today.

After humoring Coalback and allowing him to sweep the entire building for intruders he allowed the mares to get into the bath and they were blessed with a few warm moments alone. Aloe added the sweet smelling salts that would wash away the Poison Joke’s effects and left them alone to soak.

The wooden tub added a pleasant smell to the air, and the bench around its sides was smooth and comfortable. They’d taken the tub in the corner, somewhat secluded from the rest in the spa. The steam from the hot water hung to the walls and drifted in the air here, where it was still and tranquil. The mares relaxed and allowed the water to soak into their coats and manes, their tails floated lazily in the water beside them.

“Ah don’t trust him,” Applejack finally announced, her voice shattered the silence. Her eyebrows furrowed as she let her mask of calm fall off and she ran some of the water through her mane.

“Who, dear?” Rarity said, though she had a suspicion.

“Coalback. He’s a liar, and a sneaky fellah anyhow,” she muttered. “Ah seen him and his cronies stalkin’ around in the woods near mah farm. Next mornin’ I found some big ol’ claw marks all over the trees there,” she shivered splashed some water over her face.

“What’s he lied about?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“Ah suspected it earlier, but Ah really noticed it this morning when he was makin’ that speech up on the stage. I could tell all the way from where we were at the back that he was feedin’ us a crop a manure,” Applejack whispered. “Especially when he was talkin’ bout that human from last night. Them ‘Old Laws’ is a bunch a bull, too.”

“Maybe he wasn’t being very truthful about what he knew of the human, but I think he had everyponies’ best interests in mind,” Twilight put in. “He was attempting to stop a panic,” she added pointedly.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said as she splashed the water between her feathers. “Anyway, he must be doing something in the forest. I don’t think he slept at all once he got here. Plus, he doesn’t have a lot of resources to keep an entire town safe.”

“A little white lie to keep the town calm isn’t a bad thing, dear,” Rarity said with a nod. She whined as she dipped her immaculate mane into the water and ruined the styling , she’d be at it for a few hours to get it back the way it should be once they were done. But it was better than risking the wrath of the Poison Joke.

“Ah know,” Applejack grumbled as she sank her withers into the water. “Still don’t make it right,” she muttered under her breath.

Filibuster and Iron Bar climbed the steps to the pool a few moments later, greeted by the mares already in the bath. Iron Bar’s fitting bent bar cutie mark sank into the water with a splash, and Filibuster’s thick scroll followed. Their muscles rippled under their fur, which was slowly beginning to lose its white dyed luster now that they’d spent so much time out of the castle. However, they certainly didn’t look as sickly or thin as they had when they’d first seen the stallions. Now their arms were filled out with thick, corded muscle and their chests rippled with each motion. They took a seat between Fluttershy and Rarity, the shy Pegasus turned beet red and did her best to sink into the water beside the Iron Bar’s bulk. A heavier set of hooves began to make their way toward the bath when Rainbow decided to speak up.

“Don’t say anything about his cutie mark,” she hissed to the others in the water. Applejack rose an incredulous eyebrow but it was soon joined by the other as Coalback stepped up to the side of the pool.

The stallion that commanded the two other Guards was certainly not thin or sickly either, if anything he looked healthier now than when they’d seen him in the capital. His fur shone, though was still unkempt and unbrushed. And iron strength muscles bulged out from every limb, extremely defined and controlled with a certainty that spoke of his skill in using them. He turned as he tentatively stepped into the water, a strange thing to see on the normally so stoic stallion, and Rainbow’s point came into view. His flanks rippled with muscle, even as he dipped a hoof in the water, but their bare surface was unmistakable. Suddenly his habit of wearing a sash around his flanks didn’t seem so strange anymore.

He splashed into the water, wings held up high as his bulk nearly shook the water out of the bath. He shivered as he took another step and sunk straight to the bottom of the pool. The mares watched as he simply walked along the bottom, his ears flicked just above the surface, and he climbed into a seat beside Rainbow Dash. The wooden frame of the tub creaked as he settled into place. His thick shoulders were fully out of the water, and both sets of pectoral muscles were clearly defined in his water soaked breast. Either set flexed independently as he settled his legs and wings into the water. In the water he seemed like a different pony, even his scars were less noticeable with his fur hung heavily over them.

Rainbow didn’t realize she’d been staring until Coalback looked at her, she managed a smile that she hoped would hide her ogling. The corner of Coalback’s mouth twitched in what could have been called a flash of a smile before his normal frown returned. He shuffled slightly more and managed to sink his upper half into the water.

“So, Coalback,” Twilight said, to break the awkward silence. “Things should be nice and calm now, right?” she asked.

“Yes,” Coalback rumbled, his eyes closed. “The forest is effectively blocked off to any predators for a mile in all directions around the town.” His voice vibrated through the tub and the water, and all the occupants could practically feel his voice. “Shouldn’t have to worry about any more attacks as long as the border is maintained.”

“How ‘xactly do ya’ll go about maintainin’ that?” Applejack asked, her frown hidden as she sunk back down into the water.

“Animals use scent to mark borders. I leave mine all along the forest border. Predators can recognize it, but prey for the most part don’t know to look for it,” Coalback explained.

“And how is that done?” Twilight asked.

“Same way dogs do it,” Coalback mumbled, which brought a tinge of red to Twilight’s face. “That or I can just scratch up the trees with my hooves, that leaves some smell, too,” he said with a shrug. “Looks like claw marks, tigers do it.”

“So all them torn up trees around mah farm was ya’ll?” Applejack asked. She sat back up in the water, giving Coalback her full attention.

“Of course,” Filibuster put in. “Sir Coalback calls it the Exclusion Zone. Essentially territory he claimed as his from other predators around the edge of the forest. Predators rarely cross into other hunting grounds unless they’re desperate.”

“And most of the big ones were already ready to go deeper in the forest to hibernate for winter,” Iron Bar added with a nod from Coalback. “So it was mostly just a matter of chasing off the ones that wanted to sleep closer to the town, and then it’s his. Next spring we’ll have to chase off challengers, but for now the forest should be totally safe – not including the weird plant life,” he finished with a shrug.

“The town shouldn’t have to deal with anything this winter so long as no one enters the forest and we maintain the scent markings so they’re really soaked into the area,” Filibuster nodded. “Coalback has essentially built an invisible wall that keeps predators out but shouldn’t disrupt the life around the area either.”

“But what about the animals that aren’t hibernating?” Fluttershy asked. She nearly clammed up when everypony turned to her, but her concern overwhelmed her anxiety. “Won’t the deer in this part of the forest start to get out of hoof?” In truth she knew they would. Without predators to control the population of some larger animals, as unfortunate as it was, they could have a population boom, run out of food, and become very aggressive as competition increased.

“A predator remains to control population,” Coalback rumbled.

“The wolf?” Applejack asked.

Coalback’s eyes snapped open and locked onto the farmer, they pinned her in place as effectively as any needle would have. “How do you know about that?” he asked, and it became apparent that his squires had locked their gazes on Applejack as well.

“I seen it in the woods around mah farm at night,” Applejack said without hesitation. She knew she wasn’t afraid of the Pegasus, but she still found it difficult to keep her knees from shaking.

Coalback appeared to be satisfied with that answer as his freezing gaze left her. “Our combined efforts can control the population. Whatever isn’t eaten, the human takes. Peace is held,” Coalback said with a heavy finality.

But Applejack felt the half truth, that wasn’t all of it. She just no longer had the gusto to call him out on it. There would be no point anyway. Her Element felt heavy beside her heart.

That afternoon Rainbow found Coalback slowly pacing his way along the edge of the forest. He’d allowed them to return to leave free of his direct presence for the rest of the day, and had left to go to his camp shortly after they’d finished at the spa. When she flapped down beside him he never even looked up at her, but instead continued counting in a language she didn’t know. After ten more steps he stopped and tugged a stick of charcoal out of his bracer. He marked a swirling hieroglyphic onto a piece of paper that he’d pinned to the fattest part of his bracer before he put the charcoal back where it belonged.

“Yes?” he finally said as he studied the various marks on the paper. Rainbow could see a crude map of Ponyville sketched onto it with more hieroglyphics marked in all around it.

“I just came to see if you wanted to do another fight lesson,” Rainbow said with a shrug. “I’m bored and I need to do something.” Admittedly her muscles were still sore from the first lesson he’d given her, but she was eager to learn more. As tough a teacher as he was, she had to admit that she’d never felt like a moment was wasted; she’d pushed herself to the limit with every second she’d spent in his sparring circle.

Coalback nodded before he dug an X in the icy grass where he stood. He trotted back toward his camp and Rainbow followed along. Before she knew it she was back in the ring and Coalback had given her the same instruction to hit him as he had before. Once again she was trading punches with him, though he’d taken most of his armor off and tied blankets around his hooves for her.

She would throw a punch his way and then he would block it. He’d follow it immediately with a punch and she would try her best to emulate the blocks he’d demonstrated. After only a few minutes of this, Coalback broke the pattern and slipped into her block to push her over and out of the circle.

“Stop,” he ordered even as Rainbow scrambled back up to her hooves. “You’re not doing this right,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I thought you were showing me how to block punches?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“Form and pattern help almost none in an actual fight. They teach discipline and control. You have control … and some discipline,” he said and flashed her another twitch of a grin. “But none of those help much in a desperate scrabble to kill or be killed. You must be like … be like water,” he said with a nod.

“Water?”

“Yes!” Coalback said. “Water can flow.” He stepped around her, his hooves a blur of smooth and practiced motion. “Or it can crash.” His back hoof spun out and made contact with one of the logs that they’d dragged in as a seat by the fire pit. The log exploded into splinters and its two split ends flew apart. “Be like water,” he said with a grunt. “Fight like your life depends on it,” he commanded and he stepped back into the circle.

Just like that the lecture was over and the exercise was back. She went after him this time, she pushed herself and forced Coalback into the defensive. She danced around him and threw punches as often as she could. She never stood still long enough for Coalback to lower his stance, and when he did she leapt over him and tried to stomp on his head. Every hit was met with one of his own, a deflection faster and from a direction she didn’t expect each time.

He was right, though. She’d never recognized his fighting style because he didn’t have one. He adapted and moved with his opponent, but in such a way as to never compromise his defense or let up on his offensive. She still thought she could recognize some martial arts in his movements but it was well hidden since he would deviate and mix apparently different parts of stances and strikes.

She felt like that match lasted for nearly half an hour, but when Coalback stopped her by once again breaking her defense and knocking her out of the circle; this time with a strange sweep and twist motion while she was in the air.

“Now I teach you a take down that will work on most ponies bigger than you,” he said as he helped her to her hooves, something he hadn’t done before. “But unless you intend to kill, be careful of breaking necks. You will break their stance and throw off their balance in the same move: very hard to defend against. Iron Bar!” he yelled. Rainbow turned to see that the Guards were just now returning from the Sauna. “Come here and help demonstrate spinning takedown,” Coalback commanded.

Iron Bar grunted an affirmative and trotted forward even as Filibuster made his way to a log to take a seat. “Iron Bar punches,” Coalback said as he grabbed hold of Iron Bars’ arm and puppet the action for him. “You catch arm under your arms,” he demonstrated again as he locked onto Iron Bar’s arm and pulled it into his chest. “Use to pull up and swing legs over his head. Then spin the rest of your body to twist him off his hooves. I show you,” he said as he released Iron Bar’s arm.

Iron Bar took a ready stance and Coalback did the same across from him. Coalback grunted and Iron Bar threw a punch. With a well timed sidestep Coalback caught Iron Bar’s arm and twisted. Coalback lifted his rear legs into the air and twisted to hook them around Iron Bar’s head and in the same motion he twisted his shoulders around. The momentum he built up was enough to flip Iron Bar completely over and they both slammed into the ground with an earth rattling thump. It happened so fast that Rainbow wondered if she’d seen it right.

Coalback unhooked his legs from around Iron Bar’s neck and stood up, soon followed by the groaning earth pony. “If you have strength in your legs, next you choke them until they stop moving – if you haven’t broken neck already,” Coalback added. “Your turn,” he said with a nod. Iron Bar rubbed his neck and shook himself before he returned to his ready stance.

Rainbow swallowed the lump in her throat. She was certain she wouldn’t get it right the first time, but she’d never get it at all if she didn’t try. She just hoped she didn’t accidentally break Iron Bar’s neck: he was nice for a Guard and she didn’t want to hurt him.

“Alright,” she said as she entered the circle. Coalback grunted before Rainbow had a chance to enter a ready stance and Iron Bar threw his punch. She wasn’t ready, and she panicked. The next moment was a blur and she couldn’t be sure exactly how she did it, but she ended up with Iron Bar on the ground and his head securely clamped between her legs. One of her arms was hurting, but she was so shocked that she’d even managed to pull off the takedown that she only stared at her own legs in disbelief.

“Very good,” Coalback said as he grabbed her and pulled her to her hooves. Iron Bar picked himself up again as Coalback set Rainbow down on her hooves.

Rainbow would have explained that she didn’t even know how she’d done it, but an excruciating pain shot up her arm from her elbow as she put weight on it. Coalback caught her again and grabbed her arm to look at it himself.

“You landed on your elbow,” he noted. “You just shocked the bone, you’ll be fine. But no more sparring today,” he said calmly as he set her back down.

“Dang,” Rainbow grunted as she took to the air. She hovered nearby as she took a look at her tender elbow herself. “I don’t need, like, a sling or anything, do I?” she asked.

“No,” Coalback said with a shake of his head. “A wrap might help but you’ll be fine in a day or two. Get some protein and calcium, that will help,” he grunted. “No more sparring today, I have more work to do now,” he said.

“Alright,” Rainbow said, secretly thankful. Even that short session had been exhausting and now she had a banged up elbow to boot. “But before I go can I ask you something?” Coalback grunted an affirmative and she continued. “The weather team here has this tradition of storm chasing, but the next storm is gonna show up around here over the forest. Can we still go? Cause I know you said the forest was forbidden and everything but we’d be way up, it’s a big anvil now and it’d be perfect for storm chasing-“

“Yes, yes. Just don’t fall into the forest,” Coalback said.

“Awesome!” Rainbow tried to pump her hoof but hissed when her elbow protested in the most noticeable way it could. “Hey, you should come!” she said as Coalback turned around. He paused when she yelled to him. “It’d be lots of fun! You’d love it! It’s the most intense rush you can get while flying!”

“Yes, now go home and rest,” he yelled back, a stern look on his face.

Rainbow smiled like an idiot at the prospect of getting to go storm chasing again and turned to leave. “We’re leaving in two days!” she yelled back as she winged back towards her house.

Coalback watched her leave before he turned to Filibuster. “Keep a close eye on her,” he told him. “Her elbow was broken, only somepony with the Blood would have barely noticed that.” Filibuster nodded and his horn sparked to life for a few moments and his eyes flashed.

“But how-“

“I don’t know when it happened, or how she didn’t notice it, but she’s of the Blood. I’m sure of it now,” Coalback said, not in the mood to listen to Filibuster’s squabbling. “How did I not smell this sooner?” he mumbled to himself. He cursed under his breath and spat on the ground, a thoughtful scowl crossed his face as he rubbed it into the dirt. How could you tell someone who trusted you that you’d poisoned them?

“What,” a melodic voice called from the darkness, “is your name?”

“Merletta,” the word felt strange, but to her it was also the only one that seemed to fill the niche left by the question. It simply came to her and she knew it to be true.

“What,” came the voice again, “is your purpose?”

“I-,” she began but found the words would not come. She knew her purpose, her purpose was to see; but she could not see now, so how could that be her purpose? “I do not know,” she admitted to the voice.

“That’s okay,” the voice said, its warmth and gentleness painted the darkness with a twilight of ghostly colors. “It took a lot of work to bring everything together for you, so it’s okay if you don’t feel sure of yourself yet. You barely have a physical form at the moment,” it said. For some reason she had the distinctive want to be near that voice, without it she couldn’t be sure if she existed at all. “Here. I brought you a form to take, a vessel if you will,” the warm voice said.

Like a lantern in the darkness a shape took form. She could see a sleek silhouette painted in shining purples, it called to her to come near. “Do you see?” the voice asked. His voice lit the thin bars of a cage for only a moment, and though she did not comprehend what they signified she was suddenly stricken with indecision. “Don’t worry,” the voice said softly. “It’s safe,” it assured her.

She was drawn to it and slowly it’s feature became more pronounced to her. She could see a beak, the word for it leapt to her mind before she could fathom that she’d never seen a beak before; claws held onto an invisible perch; and sleek, graceful wings were tucked gently at the shape’s side. A bird, she realized. It was a bird, the voice’s gift was a bird?

“This will let you see, and you will speak, and fly, and taste, and feel. It can help you to be.” The final word rang through the air and Marletta felt herself being drawn toward the bird. The cage once again flashed into her vision, and with it the room with the desk that the pony who had summoned her sat. The gravity of the bird pulled and pulled until she was rammed into its iridescent side.

And then there was darkness again. And sound: she could hear breathing, a pulsing heart and the gentle breeze billowing against curtains. She could feel the breeze, feel feathers against her sides and tough wood beneath her, she felt her claws scrape the wood and for a moment panicked as she felt once more a pull on her form and she fell. The cage rattled around her and she felt pain, a strange and alien sensation: she decided that she did not like pain.

“Open your eyes,” the warm voice said, gentle as ever.

Merletta blinked and light stabbed at eyes she had not had before. She felt her eyes contract, muscles she’d never had before stretched and moved her eyes until they focused and she could see. Her breath did not catch in her throat, it seemed it could not, but she did take pause at the sight before her.

Through a thin set of bars Merletta could see a room warmly lit by candles and a fireplace nearby. Purple curtains billowed in the breeze of a dark night and a cracked window. A wood floor and stone walls, both a mess of black books and papers scribbled with symbols she could not read. And finally the shock of red hair and the green horn pointed away from the gravity.

“You’re upside down,” the voice chuckled. Merletta turned her head, felt the floor of the cage pressed against it, and recognized the unicorn for what he was; once again the knowledge sprung from nowhere and everywhere at once. It was like she’d known what a Unicorn looked like for years, though she was certain she could only remember the last few moments.

The horn glowed before her, and she felt a gentle grip apply itself around her. The world spun as her claws dug tiny scratches in the wooden perch below her, she only just now realized she’d never let go. The cage’s latch flipped open with the same glow and the grip on her gently pulled her from her perch. She floated through the air, now right side up, until she was placed on the desk before the Unicorn.

She tried to speak, but all that came from her throat was a high pitched caw. “Yes, I know,” the voice said from the Unicorn’s mouth. “I’ve given you the body of a baby raven. It will take time to get used to and more time still before you’ll speak properly. But I’m very happy you’re here, Merletta.” The Unicorn’s lips pulled up at the corners and for a moment Merletta could not recognize the smile for what it was.

“Merletta.”

It made her happy that the Unicorn was happy. And once again she was certain, despite her fears, that this was the place to be.

“Merletta?”

She felt it in her heart and saw it in the ripped fabric on the pony’s flank, the thin knife adorned there looked like it was cleaning the edges. It could have been cutting a shape, but she wasn’t sure what.

“Merletta, it’s time to wake up.”

“You may call me Clean Cut,” the pony with the warm voice said. Though she was more certain that ‘Father’ fit him better.

“Merletta!”

Merletta squawked as her perch was shaken and she was rudely awoken from her slumber. She glared at Clean Cut’s tired grin and squawked loudly again to demonstrate her displeasure. His smile widened in the dim light of his candle.

“Come on, then. We’ve plenty of work to do tonight,” he said as he offered his horn to her. Sleepily she stepped from her perch to his horn, she flapped her wings unsteadily as Clean Cut spun to begin his fast walk down the halls of the castle. “I think I might have made a breakthrough on something,” he muttered.

“Okay,” she muttered sleepily. She didn’t need to mention her dream, though memory was a better word to describe it. It was thousands of years old, but still so vivid a memory.

Author's Notes:

Done entirely on my phone because my computer's a dick and won't connect to our new network but my phone will. So if there's any glaring issues in format/spelling you want to tell me about just PM it to me. Otherwise I welcome hearing your thoughts and criticisms in the comments, I read all of them.