Twilight had woken up the next day in a cold sweat after having terrible nightmares the night previous. She had shaken her feeling of dread with some difficulty as she prepared to begin the hunt for Pinkie Pie.

She was standing apprehensively outside of Sugarcube Corner. Behind her were several of the legendary pegasi of Celestia’s Royal Guard. After some time of preparation, they stormed in, prepared for the worst. Upon entering, however, they noticed the store was empty, save for a plate of cupcakes on the table. As the pegasi tore the place up, Twilight used her magic to spot a loose floor board. She pried it aside, revealing a button. When she pressed it, an oven swung open. Twilight approached it, but a guard pushed her aside and started walking toward the entrance.

“Lady, if what you’ve told me about her is true, then I want to be the guy who catches that monster.” The guard took one step into the newly opened passageway. The one step happened to land on a bear trap. The sharp metal teeth dove into his leg, splintering the bone and producing a horrible crunching sound. The guard’s bravado immediately ended, replaced by blubbering and screaming. “My leg! It’s got my leg!” he yelled. The more he writhed in pain, the deeper the trap’s fangs sunk into his leg.

“For Celestia’s sake, get him outta there!” Another guard piped up. He rushed to the injured guard and began pulling apart the trap, but as he eased the pressure, a blood vessel decided to rupture, sending a spurt of blood into his eye. His hooves slipped, and the trap came down again, this time all but severing the unfortunate guard’s leg, leaving it connected by just a small piece of skin. The guard was finally pulled out of the trap, and put on a stretcher.

As he passed by Twilight, he looked in her eyes solemnly and said “I hope it’s worth it to you.”

Twilight lit the path up, finding and springing the rest of the traps. There were seven, one for each guard she had brought with her. As she and the remaining guards went down the narrow stone stairway, Twilight noticed a certain smell getting stronger and stronger, a smell that reminded her of the dissections they had done in magic class. She’d always pretended to be sick on those days. Twilight knew she knew what it was, but she couldn’t quite place it.

They arrived at the bottom of the staircase, which emptied out into a dark room. The lights went on, revealing what had to be the single most sickening thing Twilight had ever seen. The room was decorated in a disturbing yet light-hearted manner. Lungs and hearts filled with helium floated at the corners of the room like party balloons. Two skinned ponies sat at a table covered in hide on chairs made of bone. Intestines hung from rafters like streamers. Mounted on the wall at the back was a banner saying ‘Happy birthday, Twilight’ written in blood. Twilight finally remembered what that smell was - formaldehyde. Pinkie had used it to preserve the corpses.

Twilight noticed a note nailed to one of the ‘streamers’. She ripped it off and started reading.

Hi Twilight!

You’re probably so wrapped up in this investigation that you forgot that today is your birthday! Well, I went ahead and planned this whole thing JUST FOR YOU! I hope you like it, because I went ahead and got you a present! Use it well!

P.S. Behind you.

As Twilight turned, one of the Guards spoke up. “Twilight, I think you need to see this.” In a dark corner of the room, a different, fouler stench filled the air. In a rust covered cage, surrounded by the bleached skulls of foals was a small, dark shape. Upon closer inspection, Twilight discovered it was Apple Bloom.

“Get her to a doctor, it looks like she’s alive,” called Twilight.

As the guards forced open the cage and grabbed her, she sprung and bit viciously into the face of the one that freed her. "Get her offa me!" he yelped as she clung on, her teeth digging deeper into his flesh. It took two guards to restrain her, and another to fit a muzzle onto her snarling face.