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Dueling Keyboards

by FanOfMostEverything

Chapter 10: Antithesis Statement

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Author's Notes:

Entered in the July 2015 contest, came in 18th out of 107. Prompt: "Best Laid Plans"

Discord sat on his personal fainting couch, alone with his thoughts and the various abominations that called his home “skreeeeeeee!” But Discord had no time to listen to such dulcet tones, for he was deep in thought over a very unpleasant realization.

He couldn’t plan.

Well, it wasn’t that he couldn’t plan. He could do just about anything, and lining up a sequence of intended future events was simple enough that even ponies could do it. But the debacle with trying to make Fluttershy jealous had highlighted how when Discord tried it, it inevitably went awry.

He knew why. Planning was antithetical to his core concepts. He could frivolously use his powers all he liked, but anything with an eye towards the future would lead to a most unpleasant backlash. Sure, if the plan furthered the cause of Chaos and Disharmony, then he could delay the comeuppance for a while. He’d managed centuries of unrule before Luna and Celestia harmonized him. But as Celestia could attest, the problem with immortality was that no matter how much he put off his problems, they eventually came back to bite him.

And had Discord ever been bitten. Try to rule Equestria? Petrified. Try to drive a wedge between the Bearers of Harmony? Pacified. (Which, admittedly, wasn’t that bad, but it certainly hadn’t been what he was going for.) Try to capture Tirek? Recruited. Try to play it out in the hopes that the backlash would sweep up the centaur as well? Disempowered. In fact, that was probably why Discord had been able to give Twilight the Key of Magic without any repercussions; he didn’t have anything left to cause them.

Really, the only time it worked out in his favor was when he’d been able to steer Twilight back to her friends when the plunder vines had sprouted. (Which, he couldn't help but note, they had only done when he no longer wanted them to!) Even then, according to Fluttershy, Twilight had nearly been gassed into a helpless state, just waiting for something carnivorous to pass by and have a meal fit for a princess.

Well, Discord didn’t care much for patterns, but he could certainly see one when it was in front of his face. There was only one logical course of action, and contrary to popular expectation, he was going to take this.

He stood, cleared his throat, and proclaimed, “From this day forth, I will never plan again!”


“Which is when the pocket dimension collapsed.” Discord gave a sheepish grin.

Twilight blinked blearily. She wasn’t sure whether it was late or early, but the moon was up and she was in no mood for draconequi on the front step of her big castle thingy. “And?”

“I was hoping you could give me a place to crash, as it were. You’ve certainly extended the same offer to Rainbow Dash in the past.” Discord shifted to a familiar purple and green color scheme.

Whatever parts of Twilight that were functioning without caffeine muttered, “Can’t you just ask Fluttershy?”

“Well, you have more room and she has Angel Bunny.” Discord put his hands on where his hips would be, were he not presently a seven-foot-tall carrot. “I think it’s clear which option will work out better for all of us.”

“Will it be for long?”

“Not at all.” Discord produced a pair of crochet hooks and started working on the yarn of space and time, which resembled Luna's mane. “I should be able to make a new one in about a week. Maybe. As long as I don't think about it too hard, which seems to be the answer to the whole dilemma. I think.”

Twilight sighed. “Fine. I do have more guest bedrooms in this place than I know what to do with. Can you keep the chaos to a minimum in the meantime?”

Discord shook his head without malice. “I wouldn’t plan on it.”

Next Chapter: Being Themselves Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 9 Minutes
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