So. Here we are again. Another update, another collection of sighs and disappointment. From both of us, really.

The mods can go fuck themselves, since this isn't an actual story update and is pretty much super illegal in terms of all things disgusting horsefiction, so if you're reading this, just know that it might be over soon.

This ending to things is entirely my fault. I mean, that was obvious. It's not like any of you logged onto my account and put fingers to keyboard and cracked shit after shit out, and, honestly, it's never really the audience to blame on stuff like this.

I chose the more story-based, adventurous path for this one, instead of sticking to what the source material thrived on: funny, unconnected moments with a bunch of dumb friends just frolicking about. And that was the downfall. Heh. "Downfall." Like this was the fucking British Empire or something. Using overly dramatic words for a horse fic. Fucking idiot. Anywho, yeah. I strayed from what made the source material as popular as it was, because I didn't want to string together individual chapters about people blowing each other up and swearing and shooting because that's not my style and, clearly, not in my intelligence spectrum.

God, five paragraphs in now and this already looks half-assed, terrible, shitty, stupid, anti-climatic, and underwhelming. This whole "feeling terrible" thing about OMM might just be me blowing shit out of proportion. Maybe no one actually cares as much as I think they do. But I do know that this is me being me. If I fuck something up, or disappoint in any way, or even do something even slightly wrong, I'll apologize profusely for it, and even then do it from time to time after all has been said and done. This was supposed to be a grand, humorous fic! What the hell happened you fucking clod?

Stress was a major factor. I didn't expect this story to blow up and subsequently become my most popular fic. Honestly, writing out its first chapter as a dumb Freshman, I thought it'd be viewed as mediocre and fade away into the rest of my fic library unknown and untouched. And then it got featured. And shot up to 1k views in the span of, well, a very short time. And then 2k. And then favorites and comments and follows every single day that I checked in on as my own school day went on. I remember sitting in the library of my high school and whipping out my phone while sitting at a computer and just beaming at all the reception I was getting and feeling so goddamned awesome. But, a higher viewer number means more people you don't want to disappoint. And my stupid ass thought, "Hmm, let's break away from the norm. Let's do an adventure." Over time, as I realized how fucked I was getting myself by including more actual story and junk, I started getting more and more stressed out when I sat down to write another chapter to the point of deleting entire, and I mean entire, chapters because I didn't think they were good enough. Weekly updates became every other weeek, to months at a time, to almost a year. And it got worse there. I dunno. This shit killed me, but I kept through because it made you guys laugh, and that's all I cared about. Because of course I read your comments, and I take in everything that's said and referenced and all that because I love all of you, but clearly not enough to do CPR on this son of a bitch and bring it back to a barely alive status. It's Canceled for a reason.

I recently read through most of the past chapters prior to the heist, and my face just fell flat because I thought, like, "Where did this all go?" Even in my later years here (>implying that means anything you ponce) I still found myself laughing my ass off, chuckling at little lines I'd completely forgotten I'd dropped here and there, and overall enjoying what I was reading. Maybe it was because the whole writing of OMM wasn't fresh on my mind. I was pretty much going into it totally blind. Hell, I completely forgot that Vanoss and Delirious got thrown in jail. The "party" for Wildcat and Nogla. The lead-up to Lui's reveal. It was genuinely exciting, and, quite frankly, I fucking miss it.

It's weird. You'd think that it would be the same going in to write another chapter. All of the main characters are there (Vanoss, Delirious, Nogla, Lui, and Wildcat), they're at a place, and they're themselves! It practically writes itself! I don't have a clue what's gotten me into a funk shitty enough for me to pull the plug. Hell, the worst part? We were one chapter away from finally chugging back along. Literally. As in a train. Back to Ponyville.

I guess it's time to lay the cards down. If you don't want spoilers, which, I guess, is kind of weird, but I kind of understand(?) if you don't...? I dunno. If you don't want spoilers, just... like, go away or something.

So, the barebones chapter I put out talked about Chief Thunderhooves informing Delirious that he had a condition known as Barkhide. Said condition would slowly cause the outside of his body to turn to bark as the rest of him gradually became a tree. He would eventually become rooted to the ground and unable to breathe, as his lungs would turn into wood and shit, and he would die sitting in a spot for the rest of his life. If you remember earlier in the story, Delirious got swiped by a Timberwolf and refused a shot at the hospital. This is why he's been afflicted. The solution the Chief gives him? There is a group of people near the Mirror Pool "back north" who can save his life if he manages to get to them before the Barkhide fully overtakes him. The guys talk about their next move, and decide to go by way of train. Turns out, the train's seats are full. However, they find out that there's a magician named Trixie who's supposed to be onboard, and she's supposed to be performing tricks for the passengers in exchange for a longer ride. Vanoss gets looked at. He grabs a hat out of his balls and taps a baton against a box, saying, "It's Houdini, boys."

(This next part is copy-pasted from my notebook where I keep all my spaghetti.)

The guys are heading toward the fabled Mirror Pool, where a group of ponies who can cure Delirious' Barkhide allegedly live. Deciding to take the train, as they only have one single seat jet and the Cargobob is out of commission, they ride through the desert, hoping that no one on board recognizes them. Nogla suddenly spots something in the distance, approaching the train at a terrifyingly swift pace. In a matter of seconds, the figure is revealed as a pony encased in Warden armor smashes through the train, her wings flapping faster than a hummingbird's. Tackling the Unicorn and throwing him out of the train, she turns her head and makes her visors screen turn transparent, allowing the guys to realize who she is: it's Rainbow Dash, and she's FUCKING PISSED. On her back are a pair of familiar objects that Delirious recognizes as well: the vanilla pistol that the Sheriff had confiscated from him, and the sniper rifle that Rainbow had taken from him while scouting out the marketplace. Watching as the now-heavily modified weapons suddenly float next to her and take aim, Rainbow glares at the quintet and lowers her head, ready to fight. Her visor materializes once more, and she finishes the chapter with a cold sentence amplified by her helmet's speaker, "Your ride's over, motherfuckers."

Iron Sights' Involvement
Delirious and Iron Sights are fighting atop the train car. Delirious gets the upper hand and suddenly dives underneath Iron Sights. Turning over on his back, he kicks his hindlegs upwards and launches Iron up, where he smacks directly into a sign as they pass under it. Iron Sights is left behind as the train passes through a tunnel.

Puncake
Ready to kill Delirious on the roof of the locomotive, Rainbow raises his sniper rifle at him from the air, only to suddenly feel something thunk against her helmet. Stopping, she drops onto the roof and examines it, bringing it up to her face and questioning it. Still holding it, she asks Delirious what the fuck it is, only to find him madly scrambling inside the train car. Now cutting to Delirious, he jumps onto the floor and flees through the passenger car, throwing the door open and telling his friends to get the fuck down. Rainbow, leaning her head over the side of the car, looks in through a window and tells him that they're not done, only for the Puncake still grasped in her armored hoof to explode in her face, knocking her into a conveniently placed water tower next to the train tracks. The guys continue past on the train, successful. Nogla respawns in the train, having slept in one of the beds before being kicked out.

So they make it back to the area around Ponyville and head to the Mirror Pool. But, there's someone in the way. A pony. Delirious is quick to step forward, albeit in a hunch thanks to the invigorated Barkhide. Applejack is staring the group down, a revolver by her side and a copy of Delirious' sniper rifle on her back. She has a quip before she and him duke it out: "Ah dunno what it is, but... Ah just can't seem t' get you outta my mind." I never got far enough to figure out whether or not they part ways peacefully (I assume so; Applejack isn't just gonna fucking die). But they cure Delirious with no further trouble. Woohoo!

I think I had it somewhere where Delirious and the others encounter another group of bandits who they steal shit from, and when they go to Ponyville after curing Delirious, they see smoke on the horizon.

Oh yeah! Do you guys remember that cryptic message I always alluded to constantly over and over again, claiming that it was in the chapter names? If you look back, you'll see it!

Sweet Dreams
Apple Of My Eye
Acres Of Land
Is Everything Okay?
Burning

Sweet Apple Acres Is Burning.

There was going to be a huge sequence near the end where, obviously, the Acres would be burning due to bandits or some other garbage, Delirious and them would swoop in and save the day, and then they'd get arrested because of the heist and the Guard finding them. I think I had it in there somewhere that Delirious corners the leader of the bandits on the upper floor and kneecaps him. Delirious asks Lui for his minigun, and tells him to head downstairs. Lui's minigun hasn't been fired in the story, and since Lui is Lui, he'd have the minigun fully stocked for PvP. Fully stocked. As in 9,999 bullets. In a minigun. Delirious walks out after a long while of a horrible grinding noise and drops the minigun on the ground. Lui picks it up and realizes that it's fucking empty. Anyway, yeah, they get arrested.

So, here's something I bet you're all glad didn't come to fruition. And, looking at it now, I'm kind of glad too.

So, they're going to be executed. But then they manage to escape and cause a massive fucking shootout in upper Canterlot. The Mane 6 arrive just in time and begin to fight back, save for Rainbow Dash, still in the desert, and Applejack, still in the hospital. Delirious and them fend them all off and prepare to leave... and then Princess Celestia and Princess Luna swoop down with Wardens by their sides... and their own heavily magic-infused armor as well. Delirious and the others get curb stomped, and are forced to the ground with axes and swords and guns at their throats. Celestia and Luna prepare to finish them off, when suddenly whoa Applejack is here! Applejack pleads with the Princesses not to go through with it for some reason or another, and they hesitate. Which gives the guys enough time for their grand finale. Delirious sees, in the left corner of his vision, four notifications suddenly... pop up.

Vanoss has left the game.
I AM WILDCAT has left the game.
Daithi De Nogla has left the game.
Lui Calibre has left the game.

Delirious looks over at where his friends were just laying. They're simply gone. He looks up at Celestia and gives her a sheepish grin. The sword goes down. Cue the crash explained in a sec.

Reality
Oh yeah. Outta My Mind is the name of a fan game sent to Delirious. He invites his friends to play it out of boredom, and they join him, albeit hesitantly because it's about ponies. Vanoss cracks first, then Wildcat, then Nogla, and finally Lui, but mainly just to get Delirious' bounty. Thus Outta My Mind, the story, is set up. The penultimate chapter is when the game completely glitches out, causing a console crash and sending them all back to their desktops. The final chapter has Delirious, Wildcat, Nogla, Vanoss, and Lui discussing what to record next. As they all go off to get some food, Delirious is alone. Exiting the Skype chat, he mouses over the icon for Outta My Mind and double clicks with a smile.

Then I was thinking of a P.S. kind of chapter where a border guard is sitting in his little checkpoint, yawning, reading, and eating little pieces of food to occupy himself. He notices two figures approaching, and shines a flashlight to see them. An orange mare and a blue stallion, cloaked, ask him for entry. Though he knows it's suspicious, he has to relent because they have their papers. So, raising the gates, he allows "Teddy Bear" and "Apple Cinnamon" into his country. End story.

I also had some convoluted thing about how Delirious' heist ends up causing a global war (because their shapeshifting magic immediately causes fear about Changelings again which is swiftly acted upon, leading to mistrust, and anger, and loads of other stuff) and the final chapter would be completely unrelated to Delirious and the guys, detailing a later part of said war between Twilight and Celestia in Canterlot. It's quiet, and somber. And dumb. Glad I didn't do it.

Anyway, though, I've said it countless times, but I'll say it again. I'm sorry. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dears? (Cool reference loser.)

Here's this.

The final chapter.

Hope you enjoyed. Think it's about time I take this thing out back and put the shotgun against its head, huh? I'm sorry, guys.

Rest in peace!

Author's Notes:

I'd expected this to be a good collection of words, but it still looks like garbage. Oh well. Go read something else.