Author's Notes:

Outta My Mind Title Update 4.3

Better Story!

More Accurate Characterizations!

Hopefully Not-As-Shitty Author Bullshit!

Miscellaneous Fixes

Fixed an issue where certain gates would launch players into the air.

General fixes to improve game and network stability.

Her hooves caught on the lips of the rocks, her back legs propelling her upward as she continued to scale the massive wall. Careful to make sure her tail didn't get caught underneath her rear hooves, the young mare grit her teeth tightly, looked up, and shook her head with an expelling of breath as she realized how close she was to the summit. Her goggled eyes scanned the area directly atop her waiting forelegs. Finding a promising grouping of sediment, she breathed out and swung up to it, catching it and advancing further up. Continuing her action, she finally vaulted over the top of the rock wall, standing on top of the small outcropping that marked the highest point of the edge.

Looking around for a short while, she looked toward the ground and jumped onto the dirt. Remaining at a standing position, she raised a foreleg up to her goggles. Sliding them up onto her forehead, Apple Bloom furrowed her brow and gave a cocky grin.

"Kept ya waitin', huh?"

A hoof suddenly bipped her in the back of the head. Looking up at the source, she found an odd red Earth Pony with an owl mask glaring at her. Presumably rolling his eyes underneath it, he looked in her direction and extended a hoof her way.

"Can I have those back now?"

Apple Bloom drew her head back with a frown, but relented not a moment later. With a sigh, she took the night-vision goggles off her head and dropped them into Vanoss' waiting hoof. As he placed them into his dick, Vanoss spun around and watched as Apple Bloom proceeded to join the others out of the corner of his eye. Eyes looking toward the rest of town, he gave a large sigh. Following the young mare's example, he trotted up from behind Wildcat, who jumped when he looked to his right and found him dwarfing his figure.

"Aah!"

Vanoss snickered, "Oh come on man, really?"

The pig glowered, "Hey, fuck you–"

"Could y'all stop screwin' around for a second and be quiet?" Applejack turned her head, an unimpressed look on her face, "Ah'm tryin' ta figure out how in the hay we're gonna get across that bridge. None of us are Pegasi, and Ah don't think Nogla here is up to the task of teleportin'."

The bagged stallion suddenly took a step forward, his paper mask crinkling loudly, "What's that supposed ta mean?! I can..." he blinked, taking his steps back, "I can teleport..."

Lui raised a hoof to his monkey mask's right ear, leaning it toward Nogla as he refrained from bursting out laughing, "What was that? You can what, Nogla?"

Nogla shuffled, "I can teleport."

Vanoss chuckled, "You goddamn liar. How about a demonstration, janitor?"

Nogla about-faced, glaring at his gathering of friends. The top of his mask suddenly began to glow bright green from the inside.

Walking up to the group, Applejack simply raised a hoof and slapped the closest pony to her across the cheek. This individual turned out to be Wildcat, who shouted in response and rubbed the now bruised skin. Whimpering, he murmured, "Why is it always me?"

"For Gods' sake, do y'all ever stop fightin'?"

Lui blinked.

Nogla blinked.

Wildcat rubbed his cheek, blinking.

Vanoss blinked.

Applejack blinked.

"That a no...? Or..."

At once, in complete synchronization, the four stretched a leg to the back of their necks and scratched it idly. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, looking up at her sister. She looked back, doing the same and nodding her head their way. Apple Bloom flattened her lips. Applejack squinted her eyes. Apple Bloom tilted her head to the right, a frown on her face as she shrugged.

Applejack turned around, rubbing a hoof on her chin as she hummed into the cloud-ridden sky. Examining what lay before her and her merry band of fellows, she flicked her ears around and groaned inwardly. Judging by the large rock wall they had just scaled, the cotton candy barrier that lay ahead of them, the bright pink ten-foot tall fence surrounding Ponyville, and the appearance of a massive group of Mareiachi players, Discord was having a bit of fun today. Why exactly he was on a streak today she had no real idea, but she passed it off as simple boredom and looked past the large, rushing river that sped past her directly ahead.

The river—which she now performed a double-take toward—was now what looked to be liquid chocolate. Whether or not it was truly chocolate remained to be seen or tested. Applejack decided that asking somepony to test it would only lead to further problems, and she sure as hay didn't need more of that at the moment. She widened her eyes for a split second. Oh right. Coughing into a hoof, Applejack puffed her chest out and began to stomp her way back toward the waiting stallions currently arguing with one another.

Stamping a hoof in the muddied sand—which triggered a disgusted urge that she promptly ignored—Applejack spoke.

"Alright! Listen up y'all–"

The gray layer of clouds above suddenly roared, releasing a torrent of lightning that struck the earth a little too close to the mare's position. Apple Bloom, who was next to her sister, now took a single, cautionary step back with her eyes the size of pinpricks. Applejack turned her attention back to the stallions, finding them staring at the large blackened spot with like expressions. She smirked inwardly and resumed.

"Listen up!" With her silence came a flurry of noises in the distance, most notably being the gentle strumming of guitars and basses and the horrific screams of ponies most likely losing either their homes or their entire head of pubic hair. Apple Bloom, who looked back and found that both of those were happening, decided not to speak up. A lump went down her throat.

Undeterred, Applejack growled, "This useless fightin' ends now! Ah dunno if y'all can see what we're up against, but there's a literal God o' Chaos wreakin' havoc in my town!" Lowering the hoof that she had stuck against her chest, she waited for a response and was immediately met with one.

"Wait what."

"You mean none of your guys' bullshit magic is doing all this?!"

"How the fuck do you even fight that."

Applejack smirked, swinging a foreleg as if she were skillfully digging a hole, "With friendship, pardner." Ignoring the exasperated groans that followed her absolute statement of truth, she continued, "An' the only way we're gettin' into town to stop this God o' Chaos is with friendship! Ya hear me?! The only way we're gettin' past this Gods damned cotton candy wall is by eatin' it together and all at once! Now, we're gonna have ta divide inta teams of two each!" Pointing at Lui, she shouted, "Lui! You an' Nogla take the left side about two feet from me!"

Beat.

The bagged stallion rose his voice to combat the roaring of the violent rain and thunder storm.

"WHAT?!"

"Ah told ya–"

Applejack stopped, feeling a poking at her side. Finding the source, she watched as Apple Bloom pointed a hoof toward the cotton candy wall. Pouting out her lower lip, she turned to find that a large, pimped-the-fuck-out gold and diamond encrusted bridge had suddenly descended from the heavens, completely leading them over the huge obstacles they all had mildly anticipated with equally mild but varying optimism. Applejack frowned as the four stallions stepped past with obvious glee in their step. Sticking his tail out, Vanoss attempted to trip up Lui, who instead caught his friend's trick and coiled a hoof around his neck, throwing him into the dirt with a squeaky laugh.

Shaking his head vigorously, the Canadian rose to his hooves and brought out a knife. Stabbing it forward, the one on the receiving end grabbed his offending hoof, struck him in the chest, caught the knife as it flew into the air, and chucked it clear across the grass into Nogla's ass cheek. As the Irishman screamed in pain and fell limp to the ground, Wildcat continued across the bridge completely undeterred. Vanoss and Lui, who cautiously stepped from opposite sides of the bridge from one another, did the same, ignoring the cries of agony coming from the downed green Unicorn with nothing but a knife handle stick out of his rear end.

Giving a sigh, Applejack adjusted her hat and motioned for Apple Bloom to follow suit. With a grin, her sister followed her as they began to walk across the bridge. Walking past Nogla, they listened to the sounds of the raging storm that brewed directly overhead. With the rain beating against their fur and the wind practically blowing their skin clean off, Applejack let out a dramatic frown as Apple Bloom smiled from ear to ear.

As with all super dumb kids, being in a dangerous situation was fuckin' sick to the latter.

Looking up, Bloom asked, "So what was all that back there 'bout that teamin' up and such?"

Applejack blinked, her eyes slowly revealing their large bags lying underneath them. Slowly shaking her head, she nipped aloud and replied, "Ah 'unno to be honest." Staring straight ahead, she widened her eyes in a vain attempt to convey life. Apple Bloom laughed as she walked ahead, eyes shut while she spoke.

"Y'all need ta start drinkin' more water, Applejack. You'll start goin' delirious."

Applejack suddenly slowed her pace.

Looking at her sister, she gave her the most serious look she could muster and simply replied.

"Fuck you."