"Badoop-a-doop Banana Bus. Badoop-a-doop Banana Bus..." Heavy breathing. "Badoop-a....doop.... Banana Bus... God, motherfucker." He stepped his hooves in the dirt idly, attempting to work some feeling back into his legs. Groaning, he tilted his head back at the sky and raised a hoof, shaking it at the clouds above. "You hear that asshole?!"

"Shut up, Wildcat."

He turned his head, narrowing his eyes. "Hey man, pigs aren't cut out for doing horse work. We're supposed to be for hugs and shit."

Delirious slammed the shovel head into the dirt, receiving a nice SHK as it went in without a single ounce of fuss. Turning to the pig, brow sweating and a frown on his lips, he shook his head. "Don't forget bacon-"

"They don't eat meat here, Delirious."

He waggled his eyebrows, picking the shovel up again, "Who says?"

Wildcat worked his jaw, unable to fight back. Instead, he sucked in his upper lip and began to walk around idly, the sounds of dirt being shoveled and grass being parted echoing in his head. Looking to the ground, he gave a long sigh and decided to fall onto his rump. Sitting there like a sack of potatoes, he threw his forelegs into his lap and shrugged. "Why the hell are we doing this shit anyway? It's fuckin' hot outside... we don't have any water... and our lunch break isn't until when- twelve?"

Delirious threw the dirt in his shovel to the pile behind him, giving Wildcat a look as he swung the farm tool back over to the hole. Holding the shovel over it, he thought for a second and corrected, "Twelve-fifteen."

Wildcat fell onto his back, splaying his legs out and moaning audibly. "Goddammit, seriously."

"You can hold out for another thirty minutes, asshole," Delirious snapped, the mask frowning at Wildcat, "y'all can sit on your fat pig ass for now, but after you're chock-full of food, you're pitchin' in."

The pig suddenly got up, arms crossed, "Delirious, you're the only one working right now. What about Evan, huh?" Watching as the Pegasus 180'd, he added, "Does he get a shitty threat too?"

"Vanoss."

"Yeah?"

"C'mon man. Seriously?"

Vanoss looked down at Delirious.

Delirious looked up at Vanoss.

"Yes."

"You're not an owl, man. Get your ass down here and start working." He gazed up into the tree, witnessing the owl mask that haunted Terroriser's dreams. It glared down at him, shaded by the tree's branches and leaves hanging over it. Vanoss was currently holding onto a tree branch, looking down at Delirious in silence with the same vein of an annoying, adventurous child.

"No."

"Don't make me cut that fuckin' tree down," Delirious said, pulling out his hatchet, "I've got the weapons."

He gulped as the owl pulled out a heavy sniper, its barrel facing his forehead. Standing straight, he calmly holstered his hatchet, fumbled about, and slid an RPG out of his crotch, throwing its body over his shoulder as he fell to his haunches. The owl mask still gave him a stone-cold glare, but Delirious knew there was fear underneath it.

"What the hell? Where did you- you motherfucker! You stole my RPG!"

Delirious held it still, smiling as he placed the crosshairs in between the owl's eyebrows. Leering at Vanoss, he replied, "That's right, bitch. Now, c'mon down. Be a good little owl. I'm not a bird murderer." He saw the Earth pony begin to climb down and calmly added under his breath, "yet." Vanoss' hooves touched the ground, sinking into Delirious' other dirt pile. The owl mask frowned at it in silence, before he raised his legs out and walked out, disgusted.

"It's just dirt. Not like I took a shit in it."

Vanoss stood still for a brief second, and the owl mask came off, revealing his disgusted look. He dipped his head to stare at the ground and groaned, shutting his eyes. He waved a hoof, "No that... that fuckin' owl mask is hot as hell man." Swallowing a lump in his throat, his head drew upward, and he suddenly narrowed his eyes and leaned to his left. Pointing a hoof, he chuckled, "I uh, I think the pig's booking it-"

"You ratted me out you son of a bitch!"

Delirious growled, flailing his hooves in the air as he watched the pig scrambling away. Thinking, he reached to his crotch and pulled out his hatchet. Raising it above his head, he frowned, held in his breath, and shouted, "Axe roulette motherfucker!" He chucked it, watching as it sailed effortlessly through the air and finally caught Wildcat in between his shoulders as he jumped over a large root in the ground. Falling to the ground with a yell, he lay there motionless, writhing in pain.

Delirious rolled his eyes, turning to Vanoss with a raised brow. The Earth pony gave him a shrug and a simple, "Eh."

"Fuck you-"

"Hey y'all!"

The two turned with a start, noticing the orange mare sitting against the tree. Her brow damp and her Stetson hanging over her eyes, she chewed on a stalk of wheat and slowly looked up at them, a smile on her lips. "Mighty good throw there, Delirious. Musta been, hay, 'bout fifty feet away." She tilted her head at him, "Where'd you get an arm like that, Sugarcube?"

Delirious raised a hoof to answer, but was interrupted by Vanoss, "Chronic masturbation-"

"Fuck you," Delirious replied, shoving his friend out of the way as he chuckled with him. Walking toward Applejack, he groaned and popped his neck. "Can't believe you're just cool with me chucking a fuckin' axe at somebody."

She laughed, "Well Delirious, y'all curse about as much as Rainbow Dash already, Ah guess Ah've just gotten used to y'all murderin' each other every couple o' seconds." She got up from the side of the tree and looked to her left, spitting the stalk of wheat out onto the ground. "So how's workin'? Ah guess it's not so well, considerin' one of your friends just tried ta run from it."

He glared angrily at the pig now being assisted by Vanoss, if assistance narrowed down to laughing at him and kicking the absolute shit out of his fallen body. Delirious rolled his eyes and looked back at Applejack. Sighing, he groaned, "It's hard as shit. This dirt," he kicked the ground, "is like fuckin' titanium. Those new shovels aren't all that helpful, but we haven't really been using them for digging..." He cast a cautious glance at the farthest one, its head bloodied beyond compare.

Applejack fell to her haunches, rubbing her eyes with both hooves, "We've gotta clean that, y'know. What am Ah supposed to tell everypony? 'Oh, it's alright. They were just killin' each other with 'em'?" Delirious seethed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ah mean, seriously. Y'all should spend more time workin'-"

"Well, I'm workin'..."

Applejack gave a soft smile, "Ah know Sugarcube, but we're gonna need more than just you if we're gonna get this done any time soon. Even Big Macintosh's got a limit." She watched as his face fell. He glared at the ground silently. She sighed, and spoke, "Don't mind him, Delirious. He ain't gonna hurt ya."

"I know. He's still an asshole though-"

"Watch yer mouth, Sugarcube." He gave her a raised brow in response. Without looking, she nodded her head toward her left side, and Delirious turned to see Apple Bloom walking to them, a large smile on her face as she called.

"Hey Delirious!"

He waved, "Hey, Apple Bloom. What'cha doin' over here?"

Applejack suddenly knitted her eyebrows, glancing down at the filly, "Yeah... what are y'all doin' over here? Shouldn't you be helpin' Big Macintosh with the west fields? Lotta apple trees out there..."

"Ah told him Ah had ta piss-"

"Apple Bloom!"

Delirious bit his lip, feeling responsible.

"S-Sorry Sis. Uh... Delirious did it."

He suddenly glared her way, "Hey-"

"'Hey' yourself! You're the one always cursin' like a sailor! Ah don't even think Noteworthy curses that much!"

Applejack looked at Delirious, an agreeing expression on her face as she nodded and spoke rapidly, "Yeah she's got a point Ah think Noteworthy curses less than you. An' he's known for sayin' the C word every other sentence."

"Yeah yeah yeah..."

There was a pregnant pause between the three ponies before Apple Bloom broke it with her cheery-ass voice. "Y'all wanna go get fast food for lunch?"

"Apple Bloom, that food ain't good for ya-"

"You're just jealous that Ah actually have money to buy food. Not everypony spends their bits on farmtools and such," Apple Bloom said bluntly, falling to her haunches and crossing her forelegs. She gave an unimpressed look up at her sister, finding a pair of green eyes glaring back down at her in kind.

Delirious coughed.

Applejack sighed, finally speaking, "...fine. Sure. We'll go-"

"Yay!"

"But you aren't pickin' where."

The filly's face fell, but she frowned and said, "Fine." She looked up at Delirious, who flinched. "You wanna come too?"

Delirious cast a glance behind him to find his friends in the middle of a brawling match, neither of them winning as they simply chucked melee weapons at each other from behind the trunks of apple trees. He hummed, shrugged, and turned back to the two mares. "Sure. Guess those two are in, too."

"Hey guys!"

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

"What'cha doin'? Talkin' about food?" Rainbow Dash asked, her nose pointed toward Delirious and her rump in the air. "You guys wanna go get some fries or something? I know a place-"

"Rainbow Dash."

The mare groaned, rolling her magenta eyes, "What do you want, Applejack? I'm just hungry, okay?" Applejack gave her a rolling of her own eyes, and Rainbow growled somewhere down in her throat. Delirious pouted his lip in response to the sound as she continued, "I mean, seriously? Twelve fifteen? I didn't even have that kinda wacky-ass schedule at my weather job!"

"Rainbow-"

"TWELVE FIFTEEN. SERIOUSLY? I'M STARVING."

"Well," Applejack said, glaring at her friend, "we can't go early, so Ah guess y'all'll have ta wait. Where's- Rainbow! You should be helpin' Mac out right now!" She suddenly looked at Apple Bloom, yelling, "And you too little missy! Get goin'!"

The two mares stuttered, "B-but Applejack-"

"No 'buts' you two!" She threw a hoof west. "Go!"

They groaned in tandem, and Rainbow flew back as Apple Bloom galloped. Applejack shook her head, turning on her heels to face Delirious, who gave her his attention as she explained, "Sorry 'bout that. Harvest is always like this-"

"It's alright," he replied. Rubbing his stomach, he added, "I'm hungry too-"

"Now don't you start on me Sugarcube. Y'all can wait like everypony else."

The two chuckled as the sounds of working echoed through the fields. Smiling at one another, Delirious suddenly looked up, asking, "So how long does this fuckin' harvest usually take anyway?"

Applejack tapped a hoof against her chin before responding, "'bout a few days. It took about a week last year, seein' as how we didn't have you guys then."

"What happened to your friends? They're your, y'know, friends right?"

She sighed, "Yeah, course. Let's see... Twilight was in Canterlot for a meetin' with the princesses, Fluttershy was carin' for Discord, Pinkie Pie - who nopony's seen in a long time by the way - was doin' Faust knows what, and Rarity was too busy with dresses. Rainbow was there though. Glad she's here now. Ah know she's only here fer Mac though. She couldn't give a rat's behind about helpin' with the Harvest."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's been gone a lot recently too. Says she's too busy 'making money' if that don't mean nothin' suspicious. Ah'm not one ta barge into somepony else's business, so Ah don't ask. Though Ah have seen her with that Flam feller a couple times. Knowing her, she's probably off doing something stupid with him."

She shook her head as Delirious looked back at his dirt pile before finishing, "Thank you, by the way."

He gave her a confused look, "For what?"

"For bein' here. Helpin'. We really need it. Save us a lotta time, and at least you're more entertainin' than Rainbow Dash is."

"Well, I pride myself on keeping people interested. I've got about four million subscribers, shit's hard."

She rolled her eyes but smiled, "Again with these 'subscribers', huh? They a real thing or are you just makin' that up?"

He blew a raspberry as he returned to his prior position, "Oh no, they're real. And they loooove me, and I love them," he affectionately explained, picking up his shovel. Throwing it into the ground, he scooped up a small amount and turned to chuck it into the pile, only to find an orange mare looking at him with a raised brow. Lowering the shovel to chest level, he shrugged, "What?"

"What are you doin'?"

His expression morphed to one of confusion, "Uhh... what's it look like I'm doin'? You said it yourself that you're glad I'm here, y'know, workin' my fuckin' ass off. Might as well get back to it."

She tutted, waving a hoof, "Oh no no no." She watched with a grin as he dropped the shovel, glaring at her. "Y'all ain't workin'."

Finally, he asked, "Yeah, why not?"

Applejack chuckled a short chuckle, tilted her head, and raised an ear to listen. Mouthing out a countdown, she reached zero as they heard it clear across the farm.

"Whoo! Lunch break!"

She looked back at Delirious with a sly grin, who groaned outwardly and threw his hooves against his skull. "Seriously what the hell man. I was just about to start working again."

"Well," Applejack began, turning toward the barn in the distance, "too bad." As she started to walk off, she stopped and regarded Delirious. "You comin'?"

"Yeah, just uh... gimme a second." Fumbling about in his crotch, he aha'd and pulled out his flare gun. Making sure it was loaded, he held out his arm and aimed at his friends a little ways away. Pulling the trigger, the flare soared through the air, thunking Wildcat on the helmet with a loud clunk. Hearing him groan in pain, Delirious waved a hoof and caught the attention of Vanoss, who called to the pig and joined him as they began to run.

Delirious spun, holstering the gun as Applejack smiled at him. Raising a hoof, she resumed her trot toward the barn, but stopped once again as she noticed that Delirious wasn't paying attention. Raising a brow, she tilted her head and asked, "Y'all alright, Delirious?"

He nodded after a second.

Applejack's grin widened as she chuckled.

"C'mon Delirious. Let's go get some lunch, hm?"

Author's Notes:

Just a bit of a social chapter I guess. Delirious and Applejack need to interact more anyway, so expect a lot of that next chapter.