"...and forty bits for the table..."

The coins clattered onto the desk.

"...and, uh.. twenty for the lunch tray..."

"Yeah yeah yeah..."

Another clattering.

The mare behind the front desk gave the orange mare a toothy grin before returning to her papers, back to work. Applejack sighed, "Thank ya Nurse. Ah really appreciate it.... and uh, sorry 'bout him-"

"It's no problem, Miss Applejack. If you'll excuse me, I have some papers to fill out."

"Oh, sorry. Thanks again," Applejack repeated, turning away from the desk and trotting toward the waiting room of the hospital, opening the door with a look of fatigue on her face. As she stepped into the blank white room, she saw her brother silently standing near the small coffee table lined with magazines. Noticing that he wasn't sitting down, Applejack gave a small comment, "He'll be fine, Mac. You don't gotta worry about nothin'."

The stallion straightened, "But Ah am, AJ. He was injured on mah farm, mah land, and he even saved your life even though he woulda died. And Ah wasn't there to help you-"

Applejack raised a hoof, beginning to grow unimpressed at her brother's blaming of himself, "And that ain't yer fault. You were a long ways away in the other end of the field. There's no way you would've been able to hear anything unless you heard somepony screamin'-"

Mac's brow furrowed, "Oh, Ah heard 'im screamin' alright."

Applejack bit her lower lip. He had her there.

"That's still no reason to be blamin' yourself. The doctors said he'll make a speedy recovery. He didn't even hurt anythin' all too bad," she reassured, turning her head toward the door and quietly adding, "save for a few ribs..."

As if on cue, the door to the main hall flew open, crashing into the walls next to it with a loud crack. Bouncing into the waiting room was a certain pink mare, her mane bobbing up and down as she smiled at her friend.

"Pinkie Pie? What the hay are you doin' here?"

The party mare's response was filled with wonderment, "Duh, why else would I be here? There's a new pony in town, HI MAC!" the mare suddenly yelled, waving furiously to Applejack's brother with an ear-to-ear grin, "and I wanna plan a party for him! Where is the guy, anyway?"

Applejack sighed, casting a glance toward the clock and watching as the minute hand ticked to 11:37.

Ah really don't need this right now...

Yeah ya do!

Applejack jumped in fright as she heard the echoing of Pinkie's voice reverberating through her head, staring in complete shock as her friend gave a wink in response, "You really need to stop thinking out loud," she suddenly appeared next to Applejack, pulling one ear toward her mouth and whispering creepily, "somepony'll hear you."

Lightly shoving Pinkie off of her, Applejack wiped her brow with a free hoof, "Pinkie, ya mind doin' me a favor?"

"Yupperooni!" she replied happily, sliding into view next to the magazine stack to Applejack's left, a pen and paper in hoof, "what'cha need? If you want 'em dead, just give me a call-"

"No no no- what?" Applejack questioned, the pink mare giving a raised brow and a slight shake of her head, "ya know what? Never mind, not mah business. Can y'all go and get the girls? Ah think they might as well get to know the guy before he wakes up."

Pinkie threw herself in front of Applejack, her hoof pointed in a firm salute and a dark green helmet atop her head, "Yes ma'am! On my way, ma'am!" Turning tail, she bounced out, the war helmet on her head jumping high into the air and landing back onto its owner as she took a right, disappearing from Applejack's vision. The mare wiped her brow, sighing in content.

"Oh, thank Celestia.."

A distant voice called out, "Don't worry! I will!" in return.

Applejack facehoofed. From behind her, she heard the deep voice of her brother calling her name. Turning her head, she asked in a hushed voice, "...what is it, Big Macintosh?"

She found the stallion standing next to a water cooler in the corner of the room, staring at her in silence before giving a short reply, "Ya thirsty? You're sweatin', and Ah know it ain't because a how hot it is in here."

"No, Ah'm fine Mac. Just need ta sit down for a sec. A few seconds of Pinkie Pie is all Ah can handle for a day. Hay, maybe even a lifetime."

Practically falling into the small, black and metallic chair, the mare let her forelegs slide off the armrests and hang off the sides, neither noticing nor caring as her hat shifted upward, before it fell to the tiled floor underneath her. Shutting her eyes, she gave a long, almost dramatically drawn-out sigh, trying her hardest to get some shut-eye as she waited for her friends to arrive.

The sound of water splattering into a cup rushed through the room, the mare knowing full well what was causing it as she threw her hooves into her face and rubbed her cheeks in annoyance. The sound repeated not a few seconds after. Applejack groaned audibly as she heard it, before it fell silent and was replaced with heavy hoofsteps coming her way.

When they stopped as well, Applejack swore under her breath, suppressing the urge to leer at what she knew was her brother next to her. Throwing her eyes open, she found the red stallion, a smile on his face and a small foam cup sitting on the bottom of his outstretched hoof. On the table was his own cup, its contents splishing and sploshing around as the coffee table teetered in the low wind of the overhead fan.

"Ah swear to Faust-"

"You really need to drink some water. You're gonna go delirious, and Ah honestly don't need that."

The mare swiped the cup from his hoof, coiling her hoof around it and chugging it down in one swig. Breathing in fresh air in retaliation, she placed the foam ware onto the table, trying her best to make as loud as a sound she could muster, succeeding only in making a low thump on the surface of the wooden counter.

Looking up at her brother, forelegs akimbo, she glared in annoyance, the stallion rolling his eyes and reclining in his own chair, silently sipping his own water as the two sat quietly.

And then suddenly, the door to the main hall opened and brought forth a flood of ponies that trotted over to her in a tightly grouped circle, looks of concern on each of their faces, save for the cyan mare suppressing a large yawn that she barely stuffed into a free hoof. Nipping loudly, she took no notice to the glare from the white mare next to her, listening intently as the purple alicorn in front of them opened her mouth to speak, "Applejack, Pinkie told us to come as fast as we could! What happened?"

"Is Granny Smith in the hospital?" Rainbow asked, poking her head out from behind Twilight.

"Is she going to be alright-"

"Did Apple Bloom catch the Shuns? Oh dear, did she go someplace with Sweetie Belle?" Rarity asked, interrupting the yellow pegasus who quietly backed off with the action.

"Ponyfeathers, be quiet!" Applejack yelled, leaning up out of her seat with a glare on her features and clenched teeth barely stopping her from cursing right then and there, "c'mon, y'all know better than to just ask questions! One at a time, Ah swear to Faust y'all are growin' crazier by the day..."

"Me first!" Rainbow called, swooping next to Applejack with a cocky grin on her face, which quickly turned into a grimace of horror, "is Granny Smith in here?"

Applejack raised a hoof to respond, but was cut off by her cyan friend, "Oh gosh, I hope she isn't, she makes the best pies in the world-"

"Rainbow-"

"It'd be horrible if she died! I mean, who else would make my Sweet Apple Tarts?"

"Rainbow, Ah-"

"Oh my Faust, is she coughing a lot? Is she smelly? Maybe she's catching Cordyceps, next thing you know I'll be stuck in Ponyville with nopony but Twilight and Scootaloo! That would be awesome! But Faust, that would be horrible too. I mean, what if-"

"Rainbow!"

The pegasus looked over at her with a blank look on her face, seemingly not realizing she was rambling about nothing.

"Yeah?"

"Please be quiet," Applejack said, dragging her face down with her right hoof. The pegasus gave her an unamused look, but allowed her to continue.

"Granny ain't in the hospital. She ain't sick, she hasn't gotten the Cordy-whatchamacallit you were babblin' 'bout. She's fine," she stated matter-of-factly, watching as Rainbow Dash gave a sigh of relief. Looking over her friends, she added, "And where's Pinkie Pie?"

Rainbow threw a hoof up, Applejack letting out a breath of annoyance before pointing to the cyan mare, "She said she had to plan a party or something! Then she just left without saying a-"

Clopping her hooves together, Applejack suddenly shouted, "Who's next?"

"I think it's important that we know what actually happened, Applejack, instead of making false assumptions, Rainbow-" Twilight responded, looking over to Rainbow with a playful glare.

"Hey look, I was just worried and all. Fungus sucks," she defended, throwing her front hooves into the air as she hovered midair, aided by her wings.

"Alright," Applejack finalized, crossing her forelegs and sighing, "y'all okay with Twilight goin' next? Or do y'all have somethin' else to go on about?"

"No, it's quite alright."

"It's fine."

Nodding at Rarity and Fluttershy, she turned her head toward Twilight.

"Okay. So. What happened, Applejack?" the alicorn asked with concern.

Applejack cleared her throat in preparation to explain, before raising a single hoof lazily into the air and beginning, "Well, Ah-"

"Miss Applejack!"

The two doors swung open once again, a light brown stallion with a stethoscope as a cutie mark standing in the doorway, a clipboard hovering next to him in a cyan aura.

Applejack slowly got up from her chair, popping her neck and her legs before asking, "What is it, Doctor Clean? He gonna be alright?"

The mare noticed the doctor began to bite his lip in response.

"Well, he's uh, he's awake! We were able to put him in a cast for his broken wing, but he wasn't really.... okay with us actually doing it..." as his blue eyes wandered the ponies looking at him with looks of concern on their faces, he caught sight of a certain purple alicorn, suddenly bowing down in her presence, "I'm sorry, your Honor. I didn't know you were here. Please forgive me."

Twilight, despite the blush on her cheeks, waved the stallion off with a hoof, "Please, there's no need for that at all. The whole Princess thing is just a side thing; I'm still the librarian of Ponyville."

"Oh, of- of course, Miss Sparkle. As you wish."

Turning to Applejack, he bit his lower lip again, before slowly informing his audience, "You're.... welcome to see him and maybe... calm him down. One of our doctors is working with him and we uh...."

Applejack blinked in silence before cautiously asking, "You what...?"

"We uh, we haven't heard from him in awhile. An hour ago, he told us he was going to put a soundproofing spell on the room so we can... uh... retain our hearing."

A slow, "Uh...." came from behind Applejack. Without looking behind her, the mare looked to the ceiling and bluntly explained, "Retain means 'keep', Rainbow."

"Oh."

"Anywho, if you'll just follow me please, I'll show you where he is," Clean said, waving a hoof out of the room and to the ponies' left, trotting slowly next to the orange mare who led the way, her brother walking behind the group in silence. As the group walked toward their destination, the ponies gradually found themselves scooting closer and closer to each other, various tables, trays, and sploshes and smears of various fluids along the hall causing them to have to go through tighter holes to reach the stallion's room.

Walking past an intricate pattern of a trio of scalpels nestled deep into a white wall to their right, the Doctor ducked underneath a pair of scissors, raising a hoof and knocking on the door next to it, "Doctor Shaft?"

Applejack heard a stifled giggle from behind her.

As if not noticing the cyan mare's amusement, Doctor Clean knocked once again, calling, "Doctor Shaft? Your patient's accomplices want to speak with him."

Looking toward the ponies standing patiently behind him, Doctor Clean cleared his throat, casting a glance toward the door before commenting two very selective words.

"I'm scared."

"Eh, how bad could it be? Ah mean, Rainbow's scared a needles and all-"

"Hey!"

"-and she makes 'bout the same kinda mess every year when she comes in fer flu shots."

Doctor Clean slowly shook his head, "Just.. be prepared everypony."

Turning back toward the white entrance, he lit his horn, the door knob glowing cyan. The door slowly opened, and the hospital was suddenly filled with very loud, very inappropriate shouts and yells.

"Stay away from me you fuckin' bitch!"

Chkk chkk chkk! Suddenly jumping back, Clean barely avoided the sudden appearance of three scalpels in the door, each one landing perfectly next to each other as the stallion inside yelled in anger.

"I'll fuckin' shank you you bitch! Don't think about comin' over here with that!"

Applejack slowly walked past Doctor Clean, her friends following suit and entering the room with her.

What they saw caused their jaws to hang open in an odd mixture of both awe, and complete shock. The small white room was a complete mess, the walls, floor, and even the ceiling all but completely covered in yellow and red liquids that dripped from above their heads, the tables, counters, and now empty medicine cabinets not faring as well, their previous contents now strewn around the room and giving the room the feeling of post-frolicking foals.

Looking toward the other end of the room, they saw a blue stallion, a white mask strapped to his face and yet another scalpel coiled in his hoof, sweeping the makeshift weapon around the room and causing the dark purple mare nearest him to slowly step back, attempting to defuse the situation as she magicked a small needle and plunger next to her.

"It's just a flu shot! When you were hit by the Timberwolves, you could have contracted Barkhide!"

"Fuck off! Don't touch me with that shit!" the pegasus yelled, stabbing the air in front of him with his scalpel. Doctor Shaft growled a low growl, but almost instantly reverted back to her reassuring tone of voice.

"Please, calm down sir! I'm only trying to help!" The needle next to her squirted a few drops of yellow liquid onto the floor.

"This is fuckin' bullshit!" the pegasus shouted, his head swiveling every which way in an attempt to avoid any unnoticed interference. Turning to his left, he stopped, his dark blue eyes on the orange mare currently staring at him in utter shock, "you!"

Applejack's eyes shifted from her left to her right uncomfortably.

"Yeah, you!"

Applejack cursed in silence.

"Tell this fucking bitch not to stick me with her fuckin'.... needle! I saved your ass, fucking help me here!"

Applejack looked in the corner of her eye, finding Doctor Shaft grimacing to her left, her horn alight with green, a clipboard floating next to her.

"If you won't cooperate sir, at least fill out your name on this form-"

"Bitch, I'm not signin' no fucking paper!"

"We need your information strictly for medical purposes, sir-"

"Fuck you," the stallion shouted, stabbing the air in front of him, "and fuck your papers!"

The pegasus jumped onto the table next to him, the various tools and paper on it cleanly flying off and falling to the floor below. Silently glaring at the ponies staring at him, he stamped his front hooves onto the metallic table, his eyes narrowing in anger until he finally shouted at the top of his lungs.

"My name is H2O Delirious, motherfuckers!"

Applejack threw a hoof into her face.

"That's a nice name-"

"You lyin' bitch!"