"Hey Delirious?"

The stallion looked over at her, the juice box in his hoof still grasped tightly in a blue grip. The mask frowned.

"What?"

Apple Bloom reclined further against the fence bordering Sweet Apple Acres, wiping her brow with a hoof and placing the straw back into her mouth. Drinking her apple juice, she threw it back out into the open air with a loud exhale, then turned to Delirious and simply said.

"What's with th' mask? Whah don't ya ever take it off?"

Delirious' eyes went wide, staring a thousand yards away. The juice box previously in his hoof fell to Earth, dropping onto the brown dirt and shattering on impact, the remaining contents creating a disgusting fruit mud by his hooves. From where she stood, a look of worry on her face, Apple Bloom could make out a large vein, pulsating heavily on his brow. Slowly, he turned toward her.

"The fuck you just say to me?"

Apple Bloom bit her lower lip, but looked into his blue eyes and stuttered, "W-well Ah mean... exactly that. Whah don't'cha ever take the mask off? Y'all've gotta be hot in that thing."

Delirious frowned, and so did the mask.

His eyes rolled.

"I don't do face reveals-"

"Whah not?"

"It's a mystery," he said, turning back to his previous position. Not even turning his head, his right hoof went for Apple Bloom's juice box, successfully snatching it from her grasp. Placing the straw in his mouth, he drank like a noobie five-year old, and exhaled as if he had just taken a drag from a cigarette, "it's fun to fuck with your fans."

"Fans? What-"

"That doesn't matter," Delirious said, turning to Apple Bloom, "what matters is this: Apple Bloom. Do you want to see my face?"

Apple Bloom raised a brow, stepping back slightly. "Is this a joke 'r somethin'?"

"No. Do you want to see my face?"

She scanned her left and right, but ultimately looked forward and put on her bravest face.

"Yes."

"Okay." Delirious' hoof went slowly up to his mask, as if the fate of the world depended on his noticeable lack of speed, the yellow filly in front of him sweating profusely. The hoof touched the bottom half near his chin, and gradually began to lift it upward. His chin was the first thing she saw.

"Hey, it ain't so bad so far-"

Suddenly, without warning, a large tentacle flew out from Delirious' face, coiling itself around Apple Bloom, who began to scream in utter fright. Without a single word, the tentacle quickly holstered, bringing Apple Bloom into Delirious' gaping mouth, before she disappeared altogether. Shifting the mask back down to the usual level, Delirious chuckled like a filly.

"Hey Delirious!"

He turned, finding Applejack trotting toward him in a hurry.

"Sup, AJ. Whaddyou want?"

The mare breathed in and out heavily, before wiping her brow and asking, "Have you seen Apple Bloom? Ah've been lookin' for her all mornin'."

Delirious suddenly felt a sensation in his stomach. Preparing himself, he watched as Applejack began to give him weird looks.

Suddenly, he belched. Loudly. In Applejack's face.

"Nope."

Author's Notes:

Happy April Fool's you fucks. That blog post was funny as shit. I swear to God, I was going to see how long you guys lasted, but I ended up chickening out in the end. I'll lift that Cancelled button in a few, right after I delete that Apple Bloom/Delirious clopfic.

No. Seriously. I actually made it.

Also, any comments about this chapter's legitimacy are illegal. KEEP IT A SURPRISE DAMMIT.