"So, what. Scrambled, or fried?"

Applejack turned her head, spatula nestled inside the frying pan. Looking toward the table, she found a small yellow filly glaring down at a piece of paper in front of her. Frowning, Applejack retrieved the spatula from the pan and trotted over to her little sister in silence. Standing over her, she waited for her response, but received nothing as the filly continued to stare at the paper. Rolling her green eyes, Applejack spoke firmly.

"Apple Bloom. Scrambled or fried?"

She gave no response, her previous action being the older mare's only feedback.

"Hey."

Apple Bloom ignored her.

Grabbing the spatula from her apron, she coiled a hoof around it and tapped the filly's outstretched foreleg lightly. "Apple Bloom."

Applejack continued her onslaught and kept on prodding. Not a mere second later, the victim sprang up and groaned, "Whaaaat? Ah'm tryin' ta Crusade here-"

"By lookin' at a piece o' paper? Doe'n't seem too productive to me."

"Ya wouldn't understand. Yer old."

Applejack gave short breaths of disbelief, blinking wildly at her little sister who resumed what she was doing. Screwing up her face, she sputtered, "Did y'all just call me old? Really?"

Apple Bloom waved a hoof, "Yeah. Yer like, thirty four or somethin'."

Applejack sneered, "Apple Bloom, Ah'm twenny three."

The filly ignored her once more, only humming as she mumbled to herself, a hoof tracing a line across the paper before her.

"Apple Bloom, did you even hear me?"

Her head snapped up and looked to her right, a hoof adjusting the bow in her mane. "Uh..." she began, looking down before beaming, "Sure!"

"What did Ah say then?"

The filly glanced at nothing to her left, mulling on the matter with a droning, "Uh....."

The older mare rolled her eyes, sighing. "Ah asked ya if ya wanted scrambled eggs or fried eggs-"

"Oh. Sorry, sis," Apple Bloom apologized, tapping a hoof on her chin before ordering, "uh, fried. Please!"

Tutting as she walked back to the frying pan, her sister threw her gaze over her shoulder with a smile. "Y'all almost forgot, now, huh? Try not ta next time, or there won't be a next time. Y'all can cook yer own food after that."

The filly groaned, her eyes flying back to her Crusading papers before she suddenly snapped to attention, eyes wide. Turning around in her chair, she asked, "Hey, sis? When's Deli Rum gonna get up?"

Applejack almost broke down in a fit of laughter, stifling it quickly with a swing of a hoof to her mouth. Choking on a lung, she barely contained herself, but kept her composure long enough to look at her sister and correct her, "His name ain't Deli Rum, as funny as that is. It's Delirious. Like, ya know, when Ah spend too much time outside workin' and Ah'm all loopy and hazy."

"Oh...."

Sitting in silence, the two looked away from each other before Applejack coughed into a hoof and claimed, "Well, he should be gettin' up soon, hopefully. Ah made him breakfast, and Ah don't want it ta get cold before he can get to it. Mighty shame if Ah had ta waste a couple eggs on a lazy stallion-"

"Cockadoodle doo!"

"For the last fucking time you little bitch, I'm still fucking tired!"

Turning her head slowly, Apple Bloom met her sister's gaze.

"He seems nice."

Her older sister stood in silence for what seemed like hours, as if contemplating something extremely difficult, before simply replying, "Yeah," only to be interrupted yet again.

"Cockadoodle doo!"

A loud groan sounded out, the rooster clucking twice more, before the voice shouted.

"Last fucking time you piece of shit! Do it again, I'm wringing your neck and stuffing you in the fucking toaster!"

Silence.

Apple Bloom and Applejack stared outside anxiously.

"Please don't..." Applejack whispered quietly, hoping the stallion could somehow hear her from across the yard. Biting her lower lip, she leaned upward on the tips of her hooves, attempting to get a better view.

"Cockadoodle- GAHK!"

Apple Bloom's eyes growing wide, she glanced up at her sister with a look of worry. Her sister turned her head, mirroring her expression.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

The back door suddenly swung open, a very angry looking stallion splattered in egg yolk and bird dung leering quietly into the house, the perpetrator grasped tightly in a light blue hoof. Standing at the doorway, the mask frowned furiously, before turning left and right, finally stopping as it glared at the kitchen. The Pegasus growled, not even acknowledging the presence of the two mares in the room, and stalked past Applejack, who glanced behind her and saw what he did.

A large, metallic, silver box stood next to the cutting board, a black plug coming from behind it and finding its way into an outlet even further behind it.

Applejack froze.

The toaster.

"Wait, Delirious-"

"Don't." He said, stopping mid-step. Raising a hoof to his mask, he felt across the white surface, dragging the appendage down, and promptly flung it outward, a large amount of egg yolk flying toward the ground with the action, splattering on the wooden floor with a sickening schlip. Standing like a statue, still dripping from head to toe of bird excretions, he turned his head and jabbed a hoof in the air in front of him. "Don't. You fucking. Dare." Placing the appendage back to the ground, he raised its cousin into the air, the squirming, purple-faced chicken along with it as he hissed, "This little shit fuckin' woke me up, chirped at me, and shat all over me. Don't fuckin' deny me this, I swear to fuckin'-"

"Put 'im down."

Delirious stopped, leaning to his right to look over Applejack's shoulder, who turned her head as well.

Apple Bloom stood out of her chair, a glare on her brow and determination in her voice.

"Please."

Applejack turned to Delirious, and, shockingly, watched as his foreleg slowly lowered to the ground, the chicken wriggling free and squawking loudly as it practically flew out of the house and back to its coop with the rest of its race.

A look of pure confusion on her face, Applejack stuttered, "W-wow-"

"Shit, I'm sorry-"

Apple Bloom cleared her throat.

Loudly.

"I mean, uh, shoot. Sorry."

The filly nodded, and walked up to Delirious, extending a hoof his way with a small smile on her face.

"Ah'm Apple Bloom. Applejack's little sis."

Delirious blinked, coughing into a hoof before reaching it out to the filly's...

...who promptly slapped it, the much older stallion recoiling in pain as he shouted, "Ow! What the fuck was that for?!"

Raising a brow, she glanced at him in silence.

Delirious groaned slightly, rephrasing, "'Ow. What the heck was that for'." Looking down at the filly, he extended his hoof again, but only received a wordless glance at the foreleg in response. Blinking at it, he finally dragged the hoof along his blue fur, and jabbed it in front of him again. Finally, wordlessly, the two shook hooves, one smiling deeply with her eyes shut, and the other glancing about as if in a panic, cracked egg shells, yolk, and bird poop still sticking to every inch of his body.

Applejack sputtered. What she had just seen was practically unbelievable. Blinking wildly, she gasped, "How in the hay did ya manage that, sis?"

"Ah just did. Don't ask me how, Ah don't really understand it either. But hey!" Apple Bloom replied, throwing her head his way, "He ain't cryin' bloody murder anymore! And he can eat-"

The Pegasus' head suddenly drew back, the mask frowning in confusion as it stared at the filly in front of him. "Eat?"

"Eeyup," Applejack said, mimicking her brother as she caught Delirious' attention. Waving a hoof toward the kitchen, she spoke happily, "made ya fried eggs an' hay bacon! Ah was gonna try ta wake you up before it got cold, but, well, seein' as how ya kinda did that yourself..." she trailed off, looking to the apron still tied around her body. Hearing sniffling, she quickly glanced up to find Delirious sitting on his haunches, both forelegs raised in front of his face as his eyes sparkled.

"It smells so fuckin' delicious...."

Smirking, Applejack replied happily, "Well, Ah made it for you. Y'all're free ta dig in-"

She was interrupted as she dodged to her right, a blue streak speeding by her to assess the breakfast food. Laughing, she watched as Delirious scrambled to find a plate in the cabinets above his head, but suddenly felt a nudge against her hindleg. Craning her neck, she found her little sister standing behind her, a slightly disappointed look on her face as she asked, "What about me?"

Seething, she cursed, "Shoot. Ah'm sorry, sis. Delirious hasn't had too much ta eat lately, ya mind waitin' a bit for your servin'?"

The filly sighed, kicking the floor beneath her hooves with a groan.

Turning around to begin walking to the fridge, she about tackled Delirious, who looked at her, blue eyes wide, a fork piled high with eggs grasped in front of his mask and his plate raised up to chin level, mid-eating. He looked at her in silence, as if he had just been caught eating out of the cookie jar, before he slowly put the fork back down on the plate, peering down at Apple Bloom. Walking up to her, he waved the plate in front of her face, the filly catching notice and looking up at him with a mixture of want and disbelief.

Enunciating his words with a slight jab of his plate, Delirious finally said, "Just take the damn thing. I can eat something else."

Smiling, Apple Bloom looked to her sister with a look of glee on her face. She looked back, and simply smiled back.

"Thank ya Deli Ross!"

"It's Delirious."

"Oh. Sorry! Thank ya, Delirious! Mighty kind of ya!" she shouted, an ear-to-ear grin on her face as she turned tail and ran back to the kitchen table, egg and hay bacon-topped plate nestled in her teeth.

Standing in silence, Delirious turned his head to find Applejack staring at him, a smile on her face. "That was real kind a you Delirious."

"Yeah," he replied, rubbing his stomach absent-minded, "don't expect that too much. I can't be a dick to a fuckin' kid. And how the fuck could I say 'no' to that face?"

Applejack chuckled, before turning around to reach for the refrigerator, "Y'all still want some eggs? We've got a few left."

"Yeah, sure. I don't got much ta do anyway."

Coming out from behind the fridge door with a carton of eggs teetered atop her hoof, Applejack replied, "Well, y'all could always help out on the farm. Summer Harvest ain't 'til a few days, but we'll need all the hooves we can get."

Delirious nodded vigorously, "I don't see the fuck not. I mean, ya did kinda save my ass back with those bark bitches, and paid for my hospital bill, and gave me a place to stay-"

Applejack raised a hoof, silencing him, "Ain't no need to blabber 'bout th' details. Ah'll let ya know when we need ya. Might not be until the Harvest actually comes."

"Well, alright-"

"Hey, Delirious!"

Turning his head, the stallion called, "Yeah, Apple Bloom?"

"Ya wanna come see what Ah'm workin' on?" the filly asked, swiveling around in her chair to face Delirious.

He looked at Applejack, who waved a hoof forward with a sly look on her face. Groaning, Delirious walked over to the yellow filly, standing to her right as she fumbled with the sheet of paper. Grabbing a nearby pencil, she scribbled a final sentence and grasped the sheet, holding it up to Delirious, who gave a look of curiosity at what he saw.

Words at the top told him that he was looking at a plan for something called the Crusaders. Raising a brow, his blue eyes traveled down the paper to find various drawings of activities, each accompanied by a trio of yellow, orange, and white stick figures. Chuckling, Delirious commented, "Damn, you're an artist, aren't ya?"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes slightly, frowning, "Now ain't a good tahm ta lie ta me, Delirious. This ain't no Picasso." Watching as Delirious looked at the three figures, Apple Bloom cleared her throat before he could speak, pointing a hoof at the yellow one. "That's me." Pointing to the orange one, she said, "That's mah friend, Scootaloo." Finally, she placed a hoof on the white figure, "and that's Sweetie Belle."

Watching as Delirious gave a look of misunderstanding, Apple Bloom cleared her throat, waving a hoof to Delirious, beckoning him to come closer. Confused, he did so, flicking an ear upward as Apple Bloom went up to it. She remained this way for what seemed like a lifetime, Delirious growing weary, until suddenly, she erupted.

"WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

Delirious fell to the floor, clutching his ears as he screamed bloody murder, writhing on the floor as if in a seizure. Wide eyed, Applejack stopped her wild laughter to run to his side, only stopping as she watched him suddenly spread-eagle on the floor, staring straight up toward the ceiling in complete betrayal to his behavior not seconds before. Peering over to Applejack as she stalked over with bated breath, he looked back up to the ceiling and placed his hooves over his stomach, rubbing his chest slowly as he spoke.

"Jesus fuck-"

"Y'all okay?"

Delirious nipped, once, twice, before speaking again, "Yeah-"

"Good!" Applejack shouted, throwing a hoof into the wall next to her as she laughed wildly, "'cuz that was funnier than a wheelbarrow with square tires!"

Delirious growled slightly, but said simply, "You've got a weird ass sense of humor...."

The mare chuckled, still doing so as she walked over to Delirious and threw a hoof his way. Begrudgingly, he accepted, getting off the floor and dusting himself off as he looked to the yellow filly still laughing her ass off at the table, a fork piled high with eggs in her hooves. Narrowing his blue eyes, Delirious prodded the air in front of him, "Yo, Bloom. I wouldn't fuckin' touch that shit."

The filly turned her head his way, the same look on her face he had bore prior to giving her the meal.

"Whah?" She finally asked, suspiciously glaring at him.

Delirious fell to his haunches and threw his forelegs up to his face, pantomiming the flipping of an object.

Apple Bloom used her fork and did so, and thoroughly stopped talking as she noticed the distinct smell of literal chicken shit, the perpetrator sitting comfortable underneath her eggs, spilled across the entire plate and covering the bottom of her food. Lightly pushing the plate away from her, she turned her head toward Delirious and Applejack and gave a sheepish grin.

Snorting, Delirious waved a hoof over, "C'mon. Let's go get some other food-"

"Y'all just wasted at least five of our eggs," Applejack dead-panned, a blank look on her face.

"So? I don't give a shit." Looking down at Apple Bloom, he spoke, "Do you give a shit, Apple Bloom?"

Apple Bloom simply shook her head, and Delirious laughed before looking back up at Applejack, "See? Besides, you live on a fuckin' farm! And after what I did to that chicken, I'm sure you could... convince him ta fuckin' hand over a few more eggs."

"Roosters don't lay eggs, Delirious."

"They don't have teeth, either. So what? Make him."

And with that, Delirious walked toward the door, following the bouncing yellow filly who called, "We'll be back, sis!"

Waving a hoof, Applejack replied likewise, "Well, alright then! Just... watch him, alright?! Make sure he doesn't get inta any trouble!"

"I will!" Apple Bloom shouted, opening the door and running outside, turning back to the house to speak solely to Delirious as he walked up next to her.

"Ah gotta meet up with the Crusaders! Maybe y'all could come with and meet 'em!"

The mask frowned, but spoke happily, "Why the fuck not? Let's go after we fuckin' eat though, alright? You stole my fuckin' breakfast after all."

Apple Bloom giggled, "Ah wouldn't say 'stolen', Delirious. More like 'gifted'."

Delirious groaned, but spoke softly, "You think your friends will be cool with me tagging along?"

Apple Bloom turned her head to look at Delirious, and barely kept her composure as she watched him walking alongside her, cracked egg shells, egg yolk, and chicken poop still clinging to his blue figure and splattering his body and hockey mask. Turning her head quickly as he looked at her, she replied simply.

"Yeah." She giggled. "They're gonna like ya, trust me."

Author's Notes:

Delirious reminds me of Trevor Philips. That is all, apart from the fact that I just love the idea that Apple Bloom scares the shit out of Delirious. Makes this so much more interesting.

Also, tenth chapter already. Damn. Feels like forever since I wrote the first. Have an early one this time. You guys deserve it after last week.