Chapter 38

A few weeks had passed, and life had quickly settled back into a routine for Jeremy. He would go to school by day, trudging through the usual monotony of classes and homework. But when he got home, there was always something Luna or Chrysalis wanted to do with him – whether it was simply cleaning the house, playing a board game they had found, or something else. Celestia also popped by whenever she could, which was almost every night. If there was nothing to be done on Earth, Jeremy simply popped over to Equestria for a while, sometimes simply busying himself with wandering around to get a feel for the area. He also visited Chrysalis’ hive every once in a while, surprised to find that significant portions of the main cavern had been converted into the changeling equivalent of assembly lines. When he was feeling particularly bored, he would often enter Luna’s game simulator to try his hand more realistically at some of his favorites – and it wasn’t easy.

Sex was a more common occurrence between Jeremy and his various marefriends now that there was no imminent danger preventing them. Occasionally he could tell by a covert glance in his direction when attention was wanted, but most of the time he was simply dragged to his bedroom as soon as he got home. Chrysalis was especially unrelenting in this aspect, to the point where Luna complained that she “was draining more out of him than the rest of us” – Chrysalis eased up a bit after that, although she was still more frequently in the mood than the other two. Celestia was least likely to need him, if only because of her demanding job and time conflicts. She was also the most accommodating, never overstepping her bounds or trying to push him into something new. Luna, however, was significantly more energetic – now that Jeremy had accepted her being a hermaphrodite, she was eager to try new things, and he went along with them most of the time. All in all, it was a good life – it certainly made up for the boredom of his daily activities.

After one such occasion involving Luna, Jeremy stepped into the shower, only to bump into something invisible. Chrysalis revealed herself, and Jeremy stepped back out in alarm.

“Relax, it’s only me,” Chrysalis chuckled, turning on the shower water.

“Why are you in here?” Jeremy asked suspiciously.

“I like the hot water – hot showers are something I’ve never had before,” Chrysalis admitted.

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Have you even bathed before?”

Chrysalis looked away. “…No,” she answered. “Whenever I needed to get clean, I would find the nearest lake and swim for a while.” Jeremy sighed as he stepped back into the shower with her, turning on the hot water and waiting for the tub to fill up. “Are you going to give me a bath?” Chrysalis asked suspiciously.

“Might as well, got nothing better to do and I need to shower,” Jeremy replied, flinching as the cold water hit him.

“You sure? It’s a little odd to see you so comfortable when you’re naked,” she answered, flying up to perch herself on the bathtub sides and escape the cold water. Jeremy laughed at her reaction.

“Guess I’m getting used to it,” he teased. Once the water was scalding hot, he closed off the drain, standing up to turn on the shower.

As they got out of the shower, Jeremy grabbed his towel, handing Chrysalis a spare from a neatly folded stack. Pulling on his pajamas, he stared for a moment.

“What?” Chrysalis asked, noticing him frozen in thought.

“Nothing, it’s just… These were the clothes I wore when I first came to Equestria, they were under the suit. Weird memories, huh?” Jeremy asked, trying to joke it off. Chrysalis smirked.

“My memories of the time were instructing my drones to stop you at all costs – I really wasn’t concerned about your attire.” Jeremy grimaced – his memory had quickly soured at the thought of their once violent hate for each other.

As he wound down for the day and prepared to go to bed, Luna approached him, a serious look on her face.

“We remembered thou said thou would research marriage in thy country – hast thou done so?” she asked. Jeremy nodded.

“The legal age is 17 with parental consent, 18 without, but I can petition to marry at 17 under ‘special circumstances’,” he recited. “I looked that up just after I got back.” Luna considered this for a moment.

“Well, there’s no sense petitioning for thee to marry early here – or really, marrying at all on Earth – people would wonder who thou were getting married to,” Luna thought aloud.

Jeremy laughed. “I also think a sudden triple marriage wouldn’t go down well,” he added, and to his surprise, Chrysalis blushed furiously as she ran from the room. “…What’s her deal?” Jeremy asked. Luna shrugged, and they went to bed.

2-13-13, 3:07 P.M.

Jeremy arrived home after yet another tiring day, and opened the door to find himself pounced on by Chrysalis, who promptly showered him in kisses. “Ow – what? Get off – what are you – stop!” Jeremy spluttered, half-laughing as he struggled to get out from under her. Chrysalis swept him up into a bear hug, and Jeremy was reminded of just how strong she was for her size – he was seeing spots by the time she let go. “What was that all about?” Jeremy asked, staring at her as he got up and closed the door, hoping the neighbors hadn’t noticed. Chrysalis blushed.

“It’s just – I thought you were only marrying Luna!” she admitted, still with an uncharacteristic air of joy. Jeremy frowned.

“No? Definitely triple-marrying all three of you,” he replied.

Chrysalis smiled. “I’m sorry if I’m acting weird, it’s just – I never thought this day would come!” At this point, she was prancing around, and Jeremy found it adorable.

“Well… surprise!” Jeremy joked, her mood infectious. A thought occurred to Jeremy. “Did you think I’d never marry you?” he asked. Chrysalis stopped dancing around and looked at him, still smiling but now more serious.

“Well, no, I guess I had it in the back of my head that you probably would. It’s just – I never expected to get married at all, is the thing!”

Jeremy laughed. “To be honest, neither did I. Wasn’t really planning on dating anyone, and then this happened.”

Jeremy decided to visit Equestria for a while – he didn’t have much homework. He waved hello to Celestia, before heading over to his office. To his surprise, as soon as he did so he was accosted by a rogue group of changelings, who immediately hoisted him onto their shoulders, carrying him through the portal like a guest of honor. Stunned, Jeremy remained silent. Finally, they came to the main chamber, where changelings were lining every single ledge and crevasse, creating the impression of a massive auditorium. By now, Jeremy was truly confused. A single changeling, male by the looks of things, approached him, and to his shock, bowed.

“Our queen relayed to us that you plan on marrying her – we wish to express our gratitude.”

And to round out the whole spectacle, every single changeling began cheering in various voices, both sibylline hissing and what Jeremy thought might have been English. It was deafening, and for a moment he was too stunned to react. As the applause died down, more and more changelings looked at him expectantly, and Jeremy realized he should say something.

“Wow,” he finally said. “I… wasn’t expecting such enthusiasm… Well, I suppose you’re expecting some sort of speech, judging by the looks.” Most of the changelings were listening in, and you could hear a penny drop in the cavern. Jeremy frantically racked his brain for something to say – he hated speeches. Then it occurred to him, and he smiled. “All I can say is that I’m going to treat her like the queen she is,” he concluded.

There was a moment of silence, and Jeremy wondered if he had sounded stupid. Then, the entire cavern once again burst into applause, and he grinned, embarrassed. With that, the crowd of changeling drones around him parted to allow entrance back through the portal. As he left, Jeremy hoped Luna wouldn’t pull anything similar – as flattering as that was, he’d rather not be put on the spot like that again.

The office was just as he remembered it, and he smiled at a stack of papers piled up on his desk – his latest project had taken quite a lot of thinking, drawing and calculating. Sitting down, he tried to continue before realizing he was just as stuck as before – he’d have to wait until some of his online questions had been answered. So, he set off for the Canterlot shops.

To his surprise, there was quite the commotion on the main street. A section of the road was floating upside down in midair, and a cart of ice cream was attached to the underside, looking as though it too had been flipped upside down while still attached to the road. Less surprisingly, Discord was at the center of the scene, arguing with some darker pink pony with a yellow mane, and a cutie mark of three bright red cherries.

“That’s not funny!” she protested.

“Say it,” Discord countered, smiling as devilishly as usual. She mumbled something. “What was that? Couldn’t quite make it out,” he continued.

“Can I have my cart back, pretty please with a cherry on top!” the mare yelled. With a flash, the piece of road was teleported back onto the street, and the pink mare found herself on top of her cart, and jumped out, yelping at the freezing temperature. Discord, as per usual, was laughing as hard as he could. Jeremy strode up, staring at him.

“Really? Cherry on top?” he asked.

“Why, what were you expecting, my little human?” Discord asked as he swiveled to face Jeremy, laying on his stomach in thin air and putting both his claws on his cheeks.

Jeremy grinned. “Something with a bit more… taste.”

Discord stared for a moment, then went right back to laughing. “I see you have an appreciation for the jokes of life! Very well, let’s hear your idea.” Jeremy smiled back, glad Discord was playing along.

“Well, I don’t know – ponies around here seem awfully cold to be eating ice cream.” He whispered into Discord’s ear, and Discord listened attentively before grinning and snapping his fingers.

“Oh, I like this – I don’t even think anypony will blame me for this one!” Discord laughed, before disappearing into thin air and reappearing just outside the crowd. Jeremy walked up to the mare, who smiled at him uncertainly.

“Why do you even have ice cream right now, anyway? It’s winter,” Jeremy wondered aloud.

The mare rolled her eyes. “Haven’t gotten that question before. I move these to my other home in the winter, because they would all melt in the summer – normally I’ve got a lot more than a cartful, but business hasn’t been going so well.” Jeremy grinned.

“Well, why don’t you try selling one?” He pulled out a bit from his pocket, and handed it to the surprised mare, who curiously hoofed over a cone. To her increasing suspicion, Jeremy handed it back.

“Try it, you might like it,” he remarked, noting the stares of the crowd. Looking at him with an air of utmost suspicion, she took a lick. Eyes widening, she took another.

“It’s… warm? Really warm. But it’s still vanilla ice cream,” she said wonderingly. Jeremy chuckled.

“Sounds like something that would sell well in a cold environment, hmm?” With that, he left the mare to the crowd, who quickly pressed in for a chance to try the newly enchanted substance. Before he walked out of sight, Jeremy looked back, and the mare flashed him a grateful grin. He gave Discord the thumbs up, and after a moment’s hesitation, Discord gave the thumbs up back – ponies were pressing around him now, asking what else he could do.

Jeremy headed back through the portal, still grinning – he had the vague feeling Discord knew exactly what Jeremy was going for, and appreciated the gesture. Huh, maybe Discord had changed. Then again, maybe the draconequus was just trolling as usual – you never could know. Exiting his bedroom, he found Chrysalis spread-eagle on the floor of the upstairs living room, reading a book.

“So I went to the hive an hour ago,” he informed her.

Chrysalis rolled over so that she could face him right side up, putting the book down. “And what did they do?” she asked, with the air of one who already knew the answer.

Jeremy sat down next to her. “Gave me a standing ovation. Was it really necessary?” he asked, embarrassed.

Chrysalis laughed. “No being has ever willingly wished to marry a changeling queen – such is an unprecedented event in history. Add that to the gossip that’s been circulating around you and I for ages now in the hive, and that’s what you get.”

Jeremy looked at her. “There’s still gossip going around? Thought that would’ve died down once we were confirmed as a couple,” he muttered. Chrysalis simply shrugged, and went back to reading her book.

Dinner was an eventful affair – Luna had elected to cook, and promptly needed help turning on the oven. After a few mishaps with the timer, they finally got it up and running, and she placed the pasta-based dish inside with her magic, gently closing the door.

“Must be nice, having magic,” Jeremy commented. “Never have to worry about burning yourself on the grates.” Luna laughed.

“Believe us when we say magic comes with its own hazards.” Jeremy laughed as well, remembering the many mishaps on the show.

After dinner, Jeremy checked around his websites for updates. Finding none, he was about to sign off when a curious email caught his eye. Chrysalis was in the room, reading a book.

“Weird… no subject,” Jeremy commented, and she looked up. Seeing that he was on his email, she hurriedly rushed over.

“Don’t open that!” she begged, physically attempting to move his hand away from the mouse with her magic.

“What the hell? Why not?!” Jeremy asked, irritated and very confused as he kept the computer mouse out of her magical reach.

“It’s… You don’t even want to know,” Chrysalis mumbled. Jeremy picked her up and dumped her in his lap, staring at her intently.

“Chrysalis, don’t keep secrets from me. What happens if I open this email?” he asked. Chrysalis looked around, as though hoping some form of escape would present itself; finding none, she sighed.

“It’s… it’s that guy,” she finally admitted. Jeremy was utterly confused for a moment.

“…What guy?” he inquired. Chrysalis hissed angrily.

“The guy who gave me all the weapons, remember? Tried to rape me? That idiot?” The memory quickly came back to Jeremy, and he nodded.

“Oh, yeah. Him. What does he want?” Jeremy asked unhappily – nothing this guy wanted could possibly be good. Chrysalis sighed once more.

“He’s somehow gotten your email address, and what’s worse, he knows I’m here – he’s been trying to contact me all day, alternately apologizing and making veiled threats.”

Jeremy looked at her, by now thoroughly alarmed. “Did you respond with anything?” he asked uncertainly.

Chrysalis shook her head. “I’m not going to humor his ridiculous attempts, but that’s not what I’m worried about! How does he know I’m here, with you?”

Jeremy thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Tell you what – let’s bring it up to the others, see what they think,” he suggested, and Chrysalis nodded.

Next Chapter: Chapter 39 Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 49 Minutes