After wriggling out from under tons of two giant basilisks, and escaping a near miss of damaging the already ruined castle (thank gog for Canterlot Castle’s long as hell hallways), Avarice sheepishly decided to try and see about literally pulling himself together, which they both admitted they hadn’t even noticed until I pointed it out. I hope I never have to deal with having multiple minds/souls in me….

So, he ended up managing to shrink down and fuse together back into one body, and now he’s walking next to me in nothing but red silk pants, and he looks like he used to as a human, all stupid tall, muscly and ginger as hell, but his green eyes kept changing shades and his hands were instead dragon claws, something about him having issues keeping a clean template. “So! First, we need a place we can wreck! Second! I’ll get the booze, and whatever the hell else we’ll needs. Third. Get wasted as fuck!” Avarice cheered, laughing so harshly his cockney accent and gritty voice sounded kinda painful.

“Sounds like fun, but this isn’t much of a bachelor party.” I said, opening my magic satchel. “Ready for some real fun?”

“So we’re just gonna call up a ton of guys, and go out on the town? I don’t think the world is ready for our kind’s sort of fun! We could end up playing yard bowling with buildings! HA!” Avarice cackled, ready for some insanity.

“Yeah, well, I have plans for that.” I said, pulling out a red and yellow gear. “First off, yo! Iron Man! I kinda need a little help with something. You game?”

A portal opened up and Jacob popped out. This time though, he was in a dark tux and had a portal gun on one arm and a trumpet in the other. “You caught me at a bad time, you son of a-” he was going to say more, but he then saw Avarice.

“Sup.” Avarice just idly greeted in his far-too-familiar voice with a disturbing pearly-white grin and a wave of his blackened claw that just eerily contrasted with his human flesh.

Iron Man then jumped up mario style, sound effects and everything and punched him in the face. “You son of a bitch, Merchant. You put me through hell and separated me from my family. I don’t even know if they are alive or not. I don’t give two thirds of an anal fuck that you are huge, that you didn’t budge at all, that my hand really, really hurts. I’m gonna kick your ass!” He then pulled out a small detonator and summoned a shitload of fireworks.

“Oh~ feisty! I like me a fella with gumption! Only, there’s an issue with your assumption. I’ve been cheated by that rat fuck too. But, go ahead and beat away if it’ll cheer ya up some. Pain is nothing to me at this point.” Avarice leaned around the fist, grinning wide enough to show his teeth were actually shark teeth, and his eyes had slitted. “Have some free chops.”

Iron Man’s hair stood up on ends while a giant grin appeared on his face and said, “Ever heard of smile HD?” He said while blue energy was surrounding him.

“No, but with these chompers I wouldn’t be surprised if that applied to me now.” Avarice replied as he tapped his saw-teeth.

At the speed of light, a glowing Jacob kicked him in the neck, stunning him long enough to flip him and crack the ground under Avarice, what with the force, AND Avarice’s extreme density. “Ka me ha me~-!”

“CAN YOU TWO GET ALONG FOR FIVE SECONDS SO HE CAN EXPLAIN HIMSELF?!” I yelled at the two, giving Jacob and Avarice a firm slap. “Jeeze! Stop acting insane!”

Jacob then stopped and just sat down. The smile long gone from his face. “I’m good down here, ow...nice one.” Avarice complimented, getting Jacob to crack a small grin.

“Yeah, can you help out with getting us a space to summon some other people?” I asked Jacob. “We’re kinda having a bachelor party, and while I’m at it, you’re invited.”

“Congratulations on not being a pussy and popping the question. I just need to go to my lab to get the equipment that I need. Sorry for the mess.” Jacob apologized while gesturing to the cracked floor.

“It’s okay, just hurry up.” After I said that, Iron Man opened a portal and fell through.

“Alright, in the meantime, let me see if I can get someone else.” I said, pulling out the glowing blue cube that was Wade’s token. “Hey Wade, can you make it to a party I’m having?”

“I might be there later, but I can’t come right now.” Came the voice of Pinkie. Odd. "I'm... kinda just a head at the moment. Pinkie, stop playing with that. I'll give you a call through your token when we're done here, okay?"

“Okay then.” I said. “I guess I’ll talk to ya later then. I have a party to throw in the meantime, though. Now…. Who to summon...”

Iron Man then came back in his armor along with a half sized train as that was filled with different things. On the front car, there was a shit ton of balloons, which I later found out to be sex dolls. On the next car, there was a giant flat screen TV with a bunch of video games, a poker table was next to it. On the final car, there was a stage with a robot band playing we are the champions. Iron Man then flew up to Avarice, who wasn’t used to his shit, and said, “My wedding gift.”

“Sweet...new, but eh, I do that sorta shit all the time. Have some gold.” Avarice flicked his hand at Jacob, throwing gold bits at him from nowhere. “Ya’ll never get me Lucky Charms~!” Avarice laughed as he managed to sound his native Irish through his cockney voice for a moment, and got up from the floor, losing his form for a moment and seeming a freak fusion of several different species before he growled and managed to hold his human shape.

“Guys, focus.” I said, taking out various tokens and laying them on the ground. Thank goodness for the currently empty party hall. “We have a party to be had. And I have people to summon.” I turned to the various tokens that I placed around me. “Alright, guys. BACHELOR PARTY!”

With that, various portals started opening up.

Alex’s portal opened up first, and out stepped the mask collector, himself. “Hey, Dox!” Alex said as he stepped out of the portal, his legs creaking underneath his jeans as he landed on the ground. The young adult adjusted his backpack as he got up, before he adjusted his black windbreaker and flipped the hood down. However, he winced as he felt his short brown hair being mussed as a result, and quickly corrected it with his left hand.

An H portal opened before it turned into a perfect ordered portal, showing strangely enough a paradoxical effect Revealing an individual wearing a full bodied Space Suit in a flared executive fashion with a Rather attractive motherly figured robotic alicorn who was nearly twice his size came out wearing a familiar Hyperion Business suit with a white painted coat that shimmers now with glowing red cable mane and tail. “So, we meet again. Under not interrupting my morning coffee moments, I swear if it isn’t you it’s somefucker else. But thanks for the invite, I need some kind of vacation...”

With a flash Kyth appeared, holding his sword above himself and covered in patches of fire and black slime. “I AM KYTH! KILLER OF SHOGGOTH AND FIRE DEMONS!” Above him Jen appeared as well and landed directly onto Kyth’s skull. Both stood up in a confused state, Kyth shaking in either rage or fear. Jen seemed to immediately focus on Kyth, who was covered in random injuries. After a moment of being about to attack anyone near him he calmed down and collapsed against Jen with a damaged leg. Both looked up to Dox as Jen started bandaging Kyth’s injuries. Kyth spoke uncertainly in a tired voice. “Uh… What’s goin on?”

The next portal opened up, from the portal came out the Team Rocket Trio, Sarah, Tomas, and Meowth, behind the trio were two kids, a boy and a girl, the boy wore a standard Team Rocket grunt uniform, a black hat covering his red hair, a green watch with a hourglass symbol on his left arm. The girl wore a miniature version of Sarah’s rocket uniform, a hair clip with a Arbok design was on her brown hair. The next two to come out the portal was a small pink filly named Screwball, and a Wobbuffet, the two kids and the Wobbuffet were carrying eggs.

The next portal open up, and instead of the lich that walked out, it was Queen Chrysalis with a young changeling queen holding her hand. “Wow, are they all daddy’s friends?” Asked the little queen who was holding Chrysalis’s hand. “Don’t know myself, though I do see Jack other there.” I was a little confused when she walked past, just what was that?.

The next one to walk out was…. Is that Faust? And does she have dragon wings? She smiled and walked right up to me. “Don’t worry, Asphyxious will be along he’s just trying to work out if he should bring the Warjacks or not” Just as she finished, a man with black hair and a long dragon like tail jumped out. He was wearing some kind of chest plate with armor all along his left arm and had what looked like a cutlass hanging off his hip.

“Aloha!, did you miss me brother?” He said with a big smile on his face. “Good to see you again, Dox. Come here and give me a hug!” He then wrapped his arms around me I swear I thought my spine was going to give out.

Once he let go, I gasped for air and looked at him that when I noticed something else he was wearing an eyepatch. “Asphyxious?” I asked and that just made him laugh.

“That’s right, it’s me dude. I guess that fight with Everblight hasn’t happened yet, huh.” He asked, giving me this big smile on his face.

“What.” I said. “Know what, I’m not gonna ask. We have a party to have.”

Iron Man then reached down and looked at the little changeling and said, “Aren't you just the cutest thing? I have someone who would love to meet you.” He then opened a portal outside and Bubbles tumbled out. The little one and Bubbles looked at each other and then smiled.

Avarice was really, really glad that they were in a big hall, like, huge, before all this started happening. It had huge gallery windows, a concert stage, the works, and it was rapidly filled by all the people answering Dox’s call, and being the cheeky and attention-seeking man-whore he was, he promptly allowed most of his mass to return to himself, allowed an unknowable number of species to be part of his appearance, like some eldritch Lovecraftian horror, and plopped his giant muscled ass down on the formerly intact stage, crushing it, as he looked down on all of us with a shit-eating shark-toothed grin. “Welcome to the party, you’ve been invited, and we are going to wreck shit up. I got the booze!” Avarice ended, holding up a small ship he summoned from the air. “No minors allowed to drink, of course, so I also got some non-alcoholic cider.” He commented, holding up a weathered barrel in his other hand.

The possibly eighteen foot tall Robotic Alicorn smiled first at Avarice’s shenanigans before adjusting her gaze down at the human visibly in a Hyperion Space suit with markings on it showing the ‘rank’ of C.E.O. “This ‘young one’ would be Avarice, we have made many dealings with him before. Though admittedly it appears he has undergone a ‘change’.” The helmet blank screen shows a view of Handsome Jack’s face, giving a shrug in response with a wave. “I’d come over and shake your hand for the business you’ve provided but, I’d say only my EGO could match your size.” Avarice grinned wider, and winked.

I saw Alex stare at the humanoid beast for a few seconds, before giving a salute and stating, “Yo!” As he did so, however, he noticed the lack of a Iron Lich in the crowd and gave a deadpan look. A few seconds passed before he began to shift around, trying to keep an eye out for any sign of the vengeful Lich.

Kyth looked up at Avarice for a moment before raising his sword and yelling, only to collapse as his injured leg buckled, with Jen rushing to hold him up and then aiming a plasma cannon at Avarice.

Tomas stared at Avarice, “It’s that merchant!” He grabbed a pokeball and threw it, “Victreebel!” In a explosion of light, the large flytrap pokemon appeared, as soon as it was summoned, she turned around and faced her trainer and proceed to bite on his head, “Victreebel! Don’t attack me! Attack that merchant!”

I saw the human Asphyxious was laughing his ass off at what was happening, Chrysalis was keeping an eye on the young changeling that was playing not really sure myself. The dragon like Faust was looking around as if she was looking for someone, not sure what that about.

While this was all going on, if you were to look at me, I swear, you would have visibly seen me turn red with rage.

“GUYS!” I yelled at the collective Displaced. “CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” I shifted my form to one of a giant version of myself. “CALM DOWN NOW OR I’LL MAKE YOU CALM DOWN!” Instantly, everyone dropped what they were doing and stared at me as I shrank myself back down. “Now then. Now that that’s out of the way… This, my friends, is Avarice.” I gestured to my strange friend. “And he is NOT the Merchant you all think he is. No, this guy’s a Displaced like the rest of us. He’s a good sort, and he means well, so don’t go and try and hurt him. And trust me when I say this, even if you do, it won’t work. Now that I’ve explained that, can we PLEASE get on with the reason we’re here?” I pulled out my Runic Portal Device and opened a portal. “Let’s stop with the crazy and get on with the party! I’m getting married soon, so let’s do this! Through that portal is my Earth. We’re gonna go and steal a limo, I’m gonna use my technomancy magic and other powers to upgrade it, and we’re gonna party! LET’S GO FUCK UP LOS ANGELES! OR TOKYO, I DON’T CARE!” I turned to the girls that happened to show up with the other people that I summoned. “You girls can stay here with Luna, Celestia, Emerald, Sapphire, Athena, and Bluebelle. Show them a good time, without sex, and we’ll be back later.”

“Also, as a precaution against my presence, can’t control my fertility powers yet, and any sort of intercourse WILL get you pregnant!” Avarice warned them all, and suddenly put down the small ship, and giant keg, and split in half into two giant basilisks again and began slithering to the portal.

“While I doubt that your powers will have any effect on me.” Alex said to Avarice, before he grew a shit-eating grin on his face, “I can’t wait to uphold my title as the Prince of Trolling.”

Jack just looked at Avarice and the others, giving a sigh in response to that speaking to Me. “Well at least there won’t be any alicorns there, so that’s an improvement. But I will shoot a fucker who deserves it.” Saying in warning though the alicorn bit sounded weird as he shuddered.

Jen raised a hand to Avarice. “What if we aren’t built with that..erm… function?”

“No worries, just ask Jack to make you one.” Asphyxious said as if it was no big deal. She responded by giving him an odd look and slowly taking a step away.

“EARTH!” I shouted into the portal that I opened. “PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SHIT REKT!”

With that, we all stepped through the portal.

We were not received well by ANYONE. Apparently, no one likes it when you randomly open a portal in downtown LA. No joke. There were cops, gangsters, hell, even civilians, all pointing guns at us!

“Uh, guys.” I said to the gathered humans. “You don’t want to do that.”

They immediately opened fire…. Which never got close to us. Thank goodness for magnetism. It was like the fucking matrix, and I was Neo-Magneto.

“Told you.” I said. “Hey guys, don’t hold back. These guys are stupid enough to shoot at us, then they deserve it. I don’t care for my Earth anymore. Plus, we’re not here to play hero, we’re here to fuck shit up and have fun. LET’S GET TWISTED!” I yelled as I sent the bullets back into the guns that they came from.

“Why not, let’s do this!” Avarice and Crescent crowed as they shot forth from the portal, swallowing screaming people whole as they cleared the way. “It’s a fiesta! And you’re all going to jail cuz you’re not invited!” Avarice cast an emerald aura around him, making so that anyone who “died” was to be transferred to a prison cell, damn having those powers must be awesome.

Iron Man switched into the War Machine armor. “Let me get this straight, We get to go on a murderous, chaotic rampage and not have to deal with the after effects. In that case, let’s fuck them up!” The minigun on his back hummed to life as he ripped a crowd of cops to pieces. “HA HA HA HA HA, I am getting a huge boner from this!” He screamed. Luckily, pretty much 99.9 percent of the LAPD are corrupt and rapists here anyway.

The rocket grunt child fixed his black hat, looking at the destruction in front of him, he grinned devilishly, “Yahoo! Time for big ol storm of chaos!” Pulling out a small gem, he activated his magic, causing some of the cars to grow legs and start stomping on anyone who dared to attack them. “Come on out Shellder!” Summoning out the small purple clam, he pointed at a nearby building, “Shellder, use Ice Beam!” Firing a beam of ice, the building froze and collapsed, causing the Rocket child to laugh maniacally.

Alex stumbled as he fell out of the portal, but quickly righted himself before diving down to avoid gunfire. “I really regret not transforming beforehand,” He said aloud as he took the Olmak before slapping it on, transforming in seconds. As he got back up, bullets now bouncing off him harmlessly, he turned to me and asked, “You mind if I go terrorize Lego for dropping Farshtey as the writer for the new Bionicle series?” I nodded, and he gave a grin before opening a portal with his Olmak and stepped into it.

On the other side, Jack’s first action was to look around, raise a brow watching the show. “Well, I forgot how much of a shithole this place was. Hey, can the freeways through here be wrecked if I can’t bring a Mars Unit along?” Opening the visor to his Space Suit as a couple bullets reflect off his shield, priming his finger on a Moonshot summoning button just waiting for Avarice to give the signal.

“Go for it, I hate the traffic there anyway, might as well, but let Avarice incapacitate as many civilians as possible first.” I said as I floated up to a nearby building wall, and began to watch the carnage. Damn, had no idea how much spite I had pent up for my old home.

Tapping away on the watch, bringing up a holographic view of some kind, he then started to shift direction facing where Earth’s moon was. a Distant if unclear view of it before completing the task, those with a magic connection could feel distant ‘thumps’ of power with anyone looking at the sky will soon enough see a starting glow of what appeared to be a meteor shower. But in a matter of minutes of that being done Jack had his helmeted visor down, bracing for impacts by sitting on a street curb with shrieking crashes into the Freeway in several places around the city of L.A. likely cutting the city off from any vehicle traffic except for smaller roads. But the final impact only landed just across the street into a building, only to explode outward with a self righted Saturn Bot, lumbering over to a Casual looking Jack giving a ‘circle around’ motion.

I then saw Asphyxious get a hotdog from a stall and pay the guy in gems then he just watches us eating it with a smile on his face. Before someone tried to shoot him and missed, but the hotdog was nothing more than a mess on the street. “You know I was going to go easy on you all, but now…” His body was cover in fire and black smoke as Asphyxious transformed back to a lich form only he looked bigger.

“I am going to eat your souls!” He roared at them then they all ran away from him screaming like little girls. “Big babies” He said and went into a mall, I then could hear screams as hundreds of people ran out.

“You guys mind if I wire some money to my mom of this world?” Jacob said after pulling the arms off a mobster. Getting no response, he ran into a bank.

Kyth seemed to look around uncertainly for a moment before lifting up a chunk of metal to use as a shield as he dashed over to Jack. “Uh. You’re the Handsome Jack Displaced, right? You got any shields I could have? I don’t exactly want to test how bullet-resistant I am.”

Giving the Cthulhu looking displaced an unreadable look due to his blast visor being down, until lifting it up giving him a classic Handsome Smile. “Well sure, though for a first time customer I’ll play it easy on you kiddo. So I think for your ‘style’ from how you are standing a more ‘melee’ regen variety would be needed.” Tapping into his Echo, before pulling out what appears to be another echo with a possible shield device. “Just wear the Echo and put it in by accessing the Inventory screen like the video games. Also YOU will pay me with 35,400 Bits.”

Kyth blinked before reaching into a pocket and taking out a stone tome. He held it in one hand while getting a look of concentration before his hand erupted into green light and bits started piling on the ground. “Uh, tell me when to stop. And for the melee thing, that’s more because I don’t really have any ranged weapons yet.”

A retching sound came from overhead, and Kyth looked up to see the horned serpent that was Avarice vomiting gold coins into a pile next to him on the other side of the one he was already manifesting. “Say when Boss.” The frilled serpent said as Kyth just blinked and put the tome away, stepping out of the way to avoid being buried.

“Uh. Thanks guy. Sorry ‘bout trying to stab you earlier.” Kyth said.

“No hard feelings, if I held grudges against everyone who tried to hurt me, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with nearly any of my mares, ha, ha!” Avarice, the red-frilled serpent laughed as he shimmied in place.

Kyth gave a small chuckle, unsure what to make of that. When all the bits were exchanged by Jack taking the pile into his ECHO and handing it to Kyth, he simply programmed the shield and attached it onto his belt. “So, what exactly were… you... Displaced.. as?” He blinked as Avarice had already darted away and looked over to where the up was talking.

“Huh.”

Iron Man then walked out of the bank and said, “Turns out my family never existed in this dimension, so I have no qualms with blowing stuff up.” He then activated the bomb launcher and said, “We should play poker after this! No cheating!” And walked away from the exploding building without looking back, like a badass.

Tomas and Meowth stood shocked at what their nephew was doing, “Sarah is going to kill me…Ken!” He yelled. “Get back here! Or at least be careful!” Tomas ran after his nephew.

“Wow, looks like Discord taught him a lot about chaos magic.” Meowth commented in awe.

“Wobbuffet!” The blue blob said saluting.

Asphyxious then came back in his human form again holding a bucket of KFC and wearing a sombrero on his head. “Did I miss anything?” He asked as his tail was waving a little flag that say go team. I then saw him offer the bucket of chicken to the two pokemon.

“Sweet. Now, Jack, I have a few questions for you.” I said as I floated down from my perch. “First of all, can I do a request and pay you later? I have a lot of information to give you in return, as well as a new material to work with, but it’s back in my Equestria.”

Giving a shrug as he tapped open a document program it seems. “Okay but first thing’s first.” Turning to the Chaos being known as Avarice he yelled up. “Stop your pouring of precious metals! Has your brain rotted to the point of not simply giving the ‘exact’ amount?” He turned back to me, acting nonchalant in yelling off a likely more powerful being before continuing. “Sure we could get to work on something when we get back kiddo, though we’ll have to also have my assistant with me too.” Likely referencing to F.A.U.S.T. that I’ve only met once in the ‘flesh’.

“Heh, sorry boss, had a little trouble closing the flow.” Crescent commented as he gagged and tried to keep any more lost treasures of this world from spilling out of his mouth.

“Great. Hell, she can come over real quick if need be.” I said, opening a portal. “I’d like to get this done now so we can continue our rampage.” I turned towards the portal. “Yo! F.A.U.S.T., get out here! You’re needed for a transaction and possible rampage!”

The eighteen foot tall Robotic Alicorn came through the portal with a lingering smile, before it fell flat seeing the destruction on this side of the portal. Her gaze first fell onto Jack just giving a smile nudging at myself, while her eyes with a blur that only one of my eyes could track gazed at each of everyone else were up to. Also the active Combat logs from the possible Hyperion Robots coming out with the wreckage where the Saturn Unit fell having a couple constructors digistructing Loader Bots coming out in dual filed order getting in on the rioting and suppression detail. “We see thou art a destructive type young child of DM, we hope thy nature will not rub off too much on OUR Handsome Jack?” The question she gave might have been a loaded one.

“Hey, chill Boss Lady, nobody’s dying. I’m not exactly just joshing around here. Been working overtime transferring anyone who ‘dies’ to prison cells, heh, heh~.” Avarice said as he shrank down and reformed into a sort of black and cream paint-patterned mutant alicorn her height with a red mane, and clicked his pearly shark teeth. “Why can’t I get rid of those?” Avarice grumbled as he ruffled his dragon wings and twitched his red-frilled serpent tail.

“Dude, nice.” I said. “Anyways. I have a list of things that I need and want. First of all, I’d like some Loader ‘shoes’. Ya know, the jet boots? Next, I need twenty empty base loaders. No AI, no guns, nothing. Next, I need one HUGE gun. And that’s my order. In return, when we get back, I’ll give you something that can fight back orichalcum and can also function as a power source, but it’s extremely powerful. I might send a Low Elf and a Dwarf with you so they can help with it.”

A bar door opened and Jacob walked out, “Can I nuke Washington?”

“Later.” I said. “Now, Jack, F.A.U.S.T., do we have a deal?”

She nodded looking, to Jack for approval as he waved his hand. “Sure we can do that, though knowing us anyone you send will likely be joining the doppelganger program too as our employees to improve production, on a side note apparently she made a cure for cancer of some form a couple centuries ago and forgot about it.” Giving her a look as she merely fiddled her thumbs looking away, abashedly for how she looked. “But yeah after the festivities you’ll get a shipment, just place the beacon where ever when it does outside.”

“I need it now.” I said, pulling out the beacon and placing it in front of me. “Like, right now. It’s necessary for the fun, alright? I want my buddies to be up to full on the fun level, and I’m pretty sure my Team Rocket buddy could use something more to get into full action.”

There was an unnatural glow that came off the Badass robotic F.A.U.S.T. with a pop resulting in the unactivated loaders yet deployed, also crates holding the items requested with the gold that Avarice was pouring out before having been taken in response except for a little left over. “Thou hast it, now can we continue the ‘interesting’ festivities with our new friends as well?”

“Yay, verily.” I said, opening another portal for F.A.U.S.T. to exit through. “Now, where were we?”

Meanwhile, with the Ladies:

“Welcome back, mother!” Luna cheered from her seat in a recliner, now properly dressed in a comfortable gown that fit her, one of her sister’s, since it was her style of white and gold.

F.A.U.S.T. Reemerged through the portal from Dox’s location giving a sigh with shaking of her head with a light smile, Gazing over the other mares present giving a smile. “We thank thou, though thy groom to be is rather ‘enjoying’ himself with his colt friends and OUR Handsome Jack.” Giving a smile as her robotic wings gave a happy flutter. “We can see our Jack at least seems to be keeping an eye out, though the phrase ‘designated driver’ is lost onto us as for why he sighed.”

The ladies were all gathered in a parlor, sitting around on plush and comfortable couches and chairs, while the kids all were playing and laughing in the next room being watched by Chrysalis. Unsure of where to go, Jen had made the mistake of choosing to sit with the adults, and engaging the only other robotic female in the room. Oh, what a mistake. And now she was back, and she wasn’t too enthused to continue speaking with the voluptuous and over-sexed mare.

“So dear, where were we?” F.A.U.S.T asked conversationally as she gently set her large body down on the couch next to her. The only reason said couch didn’t collapse under their respective tremendous weights was due to it being magically reinforced by the Goddess of Creation beforehand.

“U-Um...you were talking about the theories you developed on synthetic flesh, nerve endings and...upgrades?” Jen responded with a squeak.

“Ah, yes. If thou would wish, we could even upgrade thou current chassis with nerve endings that have a full-range of sensation with dampeners so thou only really feel pain when something endangers thy structural integrity. We could also give your body a more organic appearance while not hampering your current functions, along with being able to eat normal foods to replenish your energy stores, and taste them too. Any more ‘Mature’ options would be entirely up to thou as well, since while to us thou art already an adult, we sense thou art uncomfortable with the subject of sex.” F.A.U.S.T supplied, Jen gaining a blue blush.

“Uh..Yeah, that does sound pretty good. Though y-yeah the erm..s-sex stuff I think would maybe be an upgrade for in a few years. But still, having a more organic body plus still having my battle armor, flight, weapons, et cetera would be pretty awesome.”

Smiling at her response giving a gentle synthetic sigh, leaning in a bit more conspiratorially to speak in an understandable computer programming script. (“Thou should try to see how a slightly more mature form at the least will ‘affect’ thy chosen mate, we could have it done long before those colts finish their fun for our own at how thy ‘Kyth’ reacts visibly.”) A smile adorning the larger robot’s muzzle giving a added wink, as her gaze shifted over to the other mares present. Jen let out a small, nervous laugh.

“W-well in a few years maybe… Though then again, wouldn’t there need to be time to actually y’know design it? Seeing as it’s gonna be a combo of your tech and mine...?”

Giving a slight nod as she continued in a binary tone. (“Thou art still thinking of how those of flesh and blood work mentally, a simple connection depending on processing speed could have our results in seconds or less.. Though tis understandable being so young, if thou doesn’t mind we may offer insights and our own teachings to help ‘adapt’ to thy nature as it were.”) She stated with a slight hand gesture not noticing some stares for how she has been speaking so alien a tone that only one side of the conversation was heard. Jen placed a hand to her chin.

“Well.. Yeah I suppose that’d be useful. I actually have some of the blueprints for other stuff in the show that I could use help deciphering… Yeah, sure. So where does the upgrading whatever happen?”

F.A.U.S.T. Merely smiled at her in a devious way. (“We COULD return to our Jack’s universe for such a procedure, or thou could give a ‘leap of faith’ by our remote model’s fabrication aboard this unit as a first ‘stage’.”) She stated with a soft hum emanating from the larger frame. Wasting no time Jen responded.

“Uh… Thanks but I’d rather make this as not weird as possible. First option!”

F.A.U.S.T. nodded and opened a portal to Jack’s world and the pair proceeded through, disappearing from view.

While F.A.U.S.T. was speaking with Jen, the Faust of Asphyxious’ world was having an equally discomforting conversation.

“He then removed the heart stone from my body healed my wounds and then ate it right in front of me, and that’s how we met.” Faust said with a warm smile on her face. Celestia in the mean time was still trying to get use to seeing her mother from yet another world looking part dragon, as well as trying to control her blushing as Faust told her what they did next.

“I see, well it’s still good to see you despite everything that happened to you. Tell me, did it hurt when you were, what did you call it?” Asked Celestia as she was drinking some tea. Faust sighed as she looked at her tail that was swaying from side to side.

“It’s called Blight. Asphyxious explained that it was more of a passive ability that belonged to the dragons like Everblight and his brothers. It changes living things around them. If they want they can even direct it, I thought I could stop Everblight. I didn’t think his powers could affect me. As you can see, I was wrong. And yes it did hurt.” Faust said as she drinks some wine.

“Anyway, I want to know more about you and Luna. Tell me how far along are you both?” She said with a knowing smile. “I want to know everything~.”

Celestia blushed at the question she then points over Faust’s shoulder and yells. “HEY, WHAT’S THAT!”

Faust just blinked at Celestia, then gave her a deadpan stare. “Really…?” She asked, sounding unimpressed. Celestia panicked, then flipped the table and tried to run away.

“TELL ME!” Faust flew after her, chasing her out of the room and down the hall.

“So Dox helped this beautiful creature have offspring?” Bluebelle asked Sarah as she nursed a wine glass full of juice, she had to be responsible after all.

Sarah nodded, petting her Arbok, “Yup, ever since Arbok had laid those eggs, she has been extremely overprotective of them, and lucky for us, we managed to see how they would turn out.” She looked off to the side, spotting a golden colored Arbok, “Violet here has been just darling, and Star, despite his disabilities, is just adorable! Sadly, I can’t say the same with one of Arbok’s sons, Regi…”

“Oh, how sad. I hope my foals aren’t with problems, but then again, I suppose it is only natural for a mother? I didn’t used to be a mare just a couple of weeks ago. Then I was slammed by the fact that I’m a middle-aged mare now with NO heir! I had to get busy, and Dox, well, he was the only option that wouldn’t lead to either a broken heart or a loveless marriage. He is a great stallion.” Blue smiled in reminisce as Sarah blinked in shock.

“You don’t look middle age, you still look pretty young to me.” Arbok shifted a little, a bit confused at something Bluebelle had said.

Blue blushed and tittered in a shockingly lady-like fashion. “Oh charmer! I’m thirty-four! But it’s nice to know I still look so young.” The golden-maned mare brushed her mane out of her eyes as she just beamed at Sarah, feeling very complimented, and she realized just why mares didn’t like to talk about their age. “But let’s be serious, you say Dox is in a relationship with this gorgeous serpent, yet he’s marrying myself and five others? That doesn’t sound right.”

Arbok’s eyes snapped wide open, “Charbok? [What?]” Arbok got up, facing Bluebelle, “Char?! [He’s doing what?!]”

Sarah eyed Arbok, nervously, “Arbok calm down, umm.. Blue, you said that Dox is marrying you and five other mares, right?”

“Yes, and the poor dear deserves to know.” Blue said turning to face the pokemon. “I’m afraid that he hasn’t mentioned you at all. I’m going to be abusing some of my new privileges to yank on his ear for this when he gets back.” Blue finished her juice, and sighed angrily as she put the glass down on the table next to her.

Arbok stared at her eggs, distraught at the news, “Char.. [Never mentioned me once…]” Her tail gripped the eggs, protectively.

“That may be so dear, but he isn’t the sort of stallion to abandon things. I feel he’s simply suffering from being an idiot. It happens to us all...to...to males on a regular basis.” Blue commented, losing her spite and suddenly becoming sad, remembering who she used to be. “I used to be such a fool myself. So blind...then Dox beat me up, literally, threw me into guard training, and then something turned me permanently into a giant-chested mare. I think...I don’t know.” Blue rambled, feeling upset, and trying to calm down.

“You used to be a stallion?” Sarah asked, trying to comfort her distraught Pokemon, noticing the snake starting to shake.

“Oh, come here dear, I’ll give you a hug. I was once nearly choked to death by a visiting bureaucrat’s pet anaconda, and I’m not afraid after having taken classes. Come and give me a hug dear.” Blue offered with open arms. “We’ll be giving Dox an earful when he gets back, hangover or no.”

Arbok slithered closer, dropping herself onto Blue’s arms, “Arrboo..” Her tail shook, causing the eggs wrapped around it to rattle.

Blue pulled her in and made sure her eggs were stable on the couch next to them as she nuzzled and pet the smooth scales of the hood of the despairing giant cobra pokemon. “Hush, it’s alright, Bluey’s here.” She kissed the sad serpent’s cheek. “Everything will be alright.” Blue only wondered a moment where such matronly feelings were coming from, but let it go, this felt right.

Not even the sounds of loud crashing, playful roaring, and the giggles of a little foal could interrupt the moment, save the few of the ladies who looked outside at the Ursa Minor and the changeling Queen pair of mother and daughter riding on said great beast’s back as it trounced through the statue garden, the other children all squealing in excitement along with Puparium as Chrysalis tried in vain to calm the enthusiastic celestial beast down..

“Thank goodness nopony else was in those statutes or are of actual ponies.” Luna commented, and shrugged, she was going to have the garden remodeled anyway.

Sarah bolted of her seat, chasing the Ursa, “MARIA! SCREWBALL! I BETTER NOT FIND YOU TWO CAUSING CHAOS AGAIN!”

In the distance, a familiar God of Chaos’s voice could be heard alongside his father’s. “CHAOS~!”

Back with the Guys:

“So, Tomas? Wanna make a mech?” I asked the Team Rocket member. “I got these Loaders just so we can scrap them into a mech.”

Tomas held down his power crazed nephew, “Sure thing, Meowth! help me out here!” Tomas handed Ken to Wobbuffet, the two got ready to start building. “So, what type of mech are we building here?”

“Whatever we want!” I said. “Hey! Back away from the Loaders!”

I grabbed onto one of the Loaders and watched as it lit up with that weird circuit board pattern that normally happened with technology and me. A spark of green lightning jumped from the Loader, infecting the next one, then the next one. Eventually, they all had the circuit board pattern. I used my magnetism to bring them all into each other, causing a huge flash of light. When the light faded, there stood not twenty Loaders, but instead, a small Mechagodzilla with a large Team Rocket R on the front of it. I ran over to the large unopened crate, pried it open, and took the giant gun that was inside it. I slammed it into the mouth of the giant monstrosity, giving it the cannon it needed.

“THAT is what we’re making.” I said proudly. We all stood around, looking at the glorious construct of destruction for a moment.

Then Avarice had to burst our bubble. “Dox...you could’ve done that with a ton of cars, and had me dump a bunch of computers around. Besides, I was going to end up giving that Aetherium to Jack anyway.” He said as Crescent dove into his back, making him grunt as the giant serpent seemed to flow into him like he was liquid and soon he was gone. “Ugh...all this matter management is so frustrating.”

“It wouldn’t be able to fly if I didn’t do that!” I said, walking over to the one unopened small crate. I pried it open, revealing the ‘Loader Shoes’ that I asked for.

Wow, when you order something, Hyperion delivers. I put them on and tested them out a bit, eventually figuring out how to get them to do a close to the ground hover with Jack’s help. Remember how I said they deliver? These things were synced up to my Echo Eye, meaning I could control the jets on the bottom of the ‘shoes’ with my mind. Pretty sweet, huh?

“Ya know, I feel like Shadow the Hedgehog now.” I said. “Funny thing is, I saw one a few days ago.”

Kyth casually glided through the air past me and spoke in an imitation of Shadow’s voice.

“You’ll never be the real hedgehog, faker…He he heh, JK. I’m just gonna go grab loot from wherever now. Cya in a bit!”

With that, he was away, and I turned back to Avarice.

“Ya know what, if you can get me a bunch of cars, I think I have an idea for you.” I said. “Just tell me how you feel about more giant robots, and possibly Power Rangers.”

Jacob then opened a portal and a bunch of nuclear missiles flew out of it. “Maybe now we can get the military here and have some fun. Bye Washington!”

“Don’t you even joke about that!” Avarice suddenly shouted in fury, as the missiles vanished in mid-air. “YOU HAVEN’T SEEN A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST! HAVE YOU SEEN A WORLD DIE?!”

“Do all twenty nine hells count.” said Jacob with a sorrowful look on his face.

“The people there are already dead! You would condemn millions of people to a fate WORSE than death! Everything in the instant blast radius is turned to shadows on walls! The ones that aren’t so lucky are forced to live with having their bodies cooked alive for minutes! The ones outside that become walking dead, not even aware they are dead until their motor functions stop. The fallout after would have killed countless more with cancer and slow radiation poisoning!” Avarice shouted as he lost control of his shape again, growing over everything as he looked down at Iron Man in contempt.

“For your information, they weren't armed! They were supposed to slow down and drop wooden toys. I am sorry about the joke though, but even I have standards! I need a fucking drink!” Iron Man then walked down the road, regretting pissing a pal off.

“...Here.” Avarice held a hand out and dumped a small junkyard off to the side as he walked away.

Meanwhile at some random bar

Iron Man had about twenty empty beer bottles and was mumbling a song that he never heard. “Funny, the first party that I go to that ends with me being the bad guy. Hope the hero enjoys himself.” Iron Man’s hair went flat, and then just slumped down next to a drunk.

“Don’t worry about it, man at least you don’t have to worry about being eaten if you lose a fight” Said Asphyxious as he was drinking from a bottle of vodka. Watching the news on the tv about the others going nuts on the city.

Taking a slow drink of water looking at the two of them present, having not enjoyed a human bar in so long. “Well here’s a bit of advice if you want to hear it, Jacob is it?” Making a hand gesture before looking at his Hyperion watch, seeing updates from the bots in the city smiling at the H logo of destruction being made the city.

“Sorry.” said Jacob in an uncaring and deep voice, “Doc Jacob isn’t here right now. The name’s Mr. Hyde.”

His eyebrow slowly raised, giving a shrug before asking this. “Can a message be left for the guy who’s wallowing inside? Because I have some decent advice if you can pass it on, as it does go into a ‘bit’ about how morals or how you are perceived can be like. One of the first things I’ve learned since being plopped into ‘horse world’ was what I called it back then.” Pausing to take another drink before saying this. “Well the phrase ‘Hero’ depends on the views of those who look at you, because for me? I consider myself ‘The Hero of this Story’! While others will view me as something else, the point is you change in how YOU view yourself and those you consider close.. Also insurance against being fucking stabbed in the back for the other.”

“Funny, the doc never said he was the hero. He was just the guy who did stuff or made stuff or gave stuff to the hero because he felt like they would need it. The reason he gave Dox the Cello was because he looked liked the guy who would need to remember his past. The reason he made that shit for Spider Man was because the kid looked like he could easily get his ass kicked. Me? I view myself as a shield. I am a strong force that is strong enough to help the poor guy when his heart shatters into pieces. I will carry your advice, Jack. I just need to go correct Jacob’s mistake.” he started to get up, but then noticed Asphyxious looking at him.

Asphyxious blinked at them and smiled. “You know what the first thing I learned was?, Pinkie and Maud are wild” He said with a big smile on his face. “And don’t get me started on being married to Queen Derpy” Asphyxious laughs harder and take a big drink of his vodka. As he set his bottle down, though, the two of them were interrupted as Alex sat in one of the nearby booths in his Onua Nuva form, a Levahk shield with something etched on it sitting on the table.

Giving a flat look at the interruption before gazing back at Iron Man, putting down his glass to give him a blank dead stare. “He’s a bit unstable when you mention nuclear attacks, seeing how his world blew up and he had attachment to it. It’s rather surprising how just a ‘movement’ of the moon threw the world over, but having a full report puts it all into better perspective if you only view things as a statistic… It’s what becomes detached in the bigger picture, how else could a eternal monarch hope to keep sane when they have immortality and watch every friend or acquaintance die from one form or another, just imagine it for a second how DETACHED you need to be to function.” Holding a lifeless gaze with a shudder coursing through his back. “You should figure out how to ground yourself before becoming like Discord in his prime or kill others..”

“One question, how does this work on me? I and the Doc are mortal.” Hyde then said, “I will pass it on to him though.”

“Hey guys,” Alex said nervously as he picked up a menu, looking over the appetizers.

“What’s up, squirt?” Asked Asphyxious as he looked over at Alex.

“Well,” Alex said, not looking at the Iron Lich yet becoming more animate in his tale as he continued, “After I left the Lego executives traumatized, I decided to uphold my title as the Prince of Trolling, so I opened a portal over the White House before drowning it in molasses, before dropping 15 tons of jello on Buckingham Palace, flooded Geneva in rubber ducks, unleashed ten or so avalanches of snow in Kenya, put mustaches of stone on Mount Rushmore, and even,” Alex lifted up the shield before continuing, “Got Greg Farshtey to sign my Levahk shield!”

“It’s under your feet, dude” Asphyxious pointed as he looks at Alex. “Are you okay? You look… I don’t know, lonely?”

“What do you mean?” Alex said as he looked at the shield and the Iron Lich in confusion.

“I mean why are you sitting all by yourself over there then sit with us?” He asked, looking at the other displaced.

“Nah, I’m good,” Alex chuckled nervously. However, Asphyxious was smiling at him, making Alex wince slightly. “Come on and have a drink with us. I’m buying, anyway.”

Alex looked at the Lich for a few seconds, before complying, but making sure there was some distance between the two by sitting on the other side of Jacob.

“Okay, what up why do you not want to sit with me did I do that prank on you or has it not happened to you yet?” Asphyxious asked.

“Prank?” Alex looked at the Lich for a few seconds, before shaking his head and saying, “No, it’s not that. As a Toa, well, being around a necromancer makes me… uneasy, due to Toa being strictly against killing.”

“Oh right, well it not like any of the things I killed were just going to let me live. A lot of things try and kill me in my world but hey, no worries. It’s not like I raise the dead or anything” Asphyxious said as he drinks his drink.

This statement relaxed Alex a tad, but he was still wary of the lich as he set down the menu and quipped, “That, plus you nearly traumatized Tomas’s niece back then,” before turning to a nearby waitress and ordering a ginger ale.

“Hay you guys should have knocked on the door not teleported into the room without knowing what was going on” Said Asphyxious as he looks at the TV. “Or are you just jelly I got to sleep with them” He asked with a smirk.

Alex gave Asphyxious a light glare before shrugging and picking up the glass the waitress set down. “Not really, considering that I can’t have sex anyways,” He said before taking a sip. Asphyxious just blinked at him and stare at Alex as if asking to tell him why. Noticing the look, Alex set down his drink and sang so that only the other displaced, “I’ve got no balls attached to me...,” before taking another sip.

“Ouch man that sucks, but I think I can help or know someone who can,” Asphyxious grinned at him.

“Meh,” Alex said in reply, though he kept a wary eye on Asphyxious, “I’ve lived with it for ten years, there’s not much to change that.”

Asphyxious then go over to Alex and put his arm around him, making the Toa cringe. “When you have the powers of Everblight at your fingertips, the most useful of all his powers was changing the flesh of the living.” He said giving Alex a meaningful look.

“N-no, I’m fine,” Alex stuttered as he slipped out from under the Lich’s arm.

“Alright, nothing to worry about I’m just giving you the option if you want it. I have no plans to foshe this on anybody” Asphyxious said as he sit down. “But talk to Dox later. He could help, too.” Alex nodded in reply, but excused himself soon afterwards.

Back with Dox and the others:

“So, Tomas, how do you like the Mechagodzilla Mech?” I asked, watching as Tomas piloted the huge mech.

“Well, it’s probably the second biggest thing I’ve piloted.” Tomas answered, “Though, one thing's for sure, I’m going to have to keep Ken away from this mech, the kid has a thing for being a bit power crazed.”

“Sounds like a fun guy.” I said. “Have you tried the cannon yet?”

“Ummm, no, not yet.” He grabbed the lever, “Should we fire it?”

“Yes.” I said. “Fire it at anything…. Well, anything but the convention center. I like that place. Fire it at a bank or something.”

Pulling on the lever, the giant mech’s mouth opened and fired a green beam straight at a tall building, causing it to fall on top of smaller buildings. “Well, it’s probably stronger than all the other mechs Meowth built.”

“Ya got that right!” I said. “But that’s probably because I used Hyperion Loaders, and not random other things. Now, to find the others!”

Pulling another lever, the Mechagodzilla roared, and started stomping towards the direction of the other displaced, crushing some cars and other small buildings on the way.

Meanwhile, back at the bar:

The other displaced were having a nice drink. Nothing could have been wrong, but the beer could have been better, and the bartender could have been less…. scared shitless….

All of a sudden, a large laser came down and destroyed part of the bar.

“Sup, guys?” I yelled. “Have you guys been getting drunk without us?”

“Dox, I was watching that” Said Asphyxious as he pointed at the destroyed wall where I could see what left of a tv.

“Well, serves you right for not staying with us.” I said. “We were having fun with the Mechagodzilla, weren’t we, Tomas?”

Tomas shrugged, “I just like blowing up buildings as Godzilla.”

Wobbuffet appeared behind him, startling Tomas, “Wobbuffet!” The blob saluted.

“I saw it on the Tv they was just about to show the highlights, until you blasted the wall down.” Said Asphyxious as to looked behind the bar for another bottle of vodka. “Wait, did you say something about Godzilla?”

“Yeah.” I said, pointing at the mech we were driving. “I’m honestly waiting for the military to show up and try and stop us.”

“HALT! THIS IS THE POLICE!” Said a random voice.

“Well, it’s close.” I said. “Piss off, officer. We don’t want to have to hurt you…. Unless we want to hurt you, then we’ll hurt you.”

I then felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Asphyxious was smiling at me. “Let me deal with them”

Jack just looked at the hole in the ceiling, then towards the closed doorway where the ‘police’ would be. “Shouldn’t they be trying to keep people back and try evacuating?” Stating his opinion, moving his hand behind the bar to fish around for a new glass to replace his shattered one from the blow in. “Also, you dicks should be partying. Like kids on christmas, or however families treated each other. Unless we are city hopping, then I’ll be willing to tag along. Like Vegas or something, or even better the caribbean.”

Iron Man’s hair sprang back up. “Yay, city hopping!”

“Well, I say Vegas.” I said. “Anyone else up for Vegas? Might find you all some hookers. I got my ladies waiting for me back home.”

Iron Man just said, “Nah, I’ll just play poker, anyone want in?”

“I’m game” Said Asphyxious as he pulled up a table.

“How about Vegas, instead, Asphyxious?” I said.

“Can I summon my mechs as well?”

“Feel free.” I said. “Let’s just get to Vegas, first.”

It took a while to get to Vegas. It was fun, what with all of us riding the giant Mechagodzilla. Sure enough, the Military met us up outside the great city of sin, they’d even tried to stop us in the Rockies, but we’re super-powered dudes out for a good time, nothing like helicopters, tanks, or regiments of soldiers firing at us could stop us!

“There it is!” I yelled. “Vegas! And finally! There’s the Military! Again! When will they learn?”

“Mechs, keep the army busy, I have money to win.” said Jacob.

The Mechs were huge, like 200 meters tall. They looked amazing, to boot.

“So, where do we hit first? I have never been here before or anywhere in the US.” Asked Asphyxious.

“I’ve never heard of the U.S. until Ben told us about it, in my Earth, this place is just another part Britain.” Thomas said.

“No way, I used to live in Britain. Man that felt like forever ago” Said Asphyxious as he looked at Tomas.

“I traveled to the empire from time to time, my father was a rich business man from France, and he would take me to see the Holy Britannia Empire whenever he went.”

“Huh, I can’t remember what my old life was like before I was displaced has it really been that long?” Asphyxious said to himself.

“Ya know, I don’t even know anymore.” I said. “Honestly, I just want to fuck some shit up. Screw this world. The only redeeming thing would be finding another changeling like me.”

“Well look on the bright side, at least you got us to kick ass and take names” Asphyxious said with a smile and patted me on the back. Q

“Yay.” I said as we moved into the city limits. Amazingly there were a few citizens that were not concerned about us amongst the other screaming civilians. “Oh hey, look! I promised hookers, and hookers I give!” But, then, out of nowhere, people, wearing Hawaiian shirts, cargo shorts, flip flops and bucket hats all started standing around and taking pictures. “The fuck?”

“Oh! There’s a James! Can I have a picture with you?!” One of them asked, as they began asking us annoying requests for pictures, or autographs.

“Oh no...Tourists….” I shuddered. “Yo! Piss off!” They all just groaned and some backed off, while the persistent ones still hung around while most of the locals didn’t give a shit. Only newbies had to be the ones running. How crazy was this city?

“This could be fun” Asphyxious said with a smile.

Jack just raised his brow giving a classic ‘fitting’ smile as he held onto Jacob posing with him. “What about two wealthy individuals of two completely different ideals?”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here before a Marvel nut shows up.” Jacob said as a crowd of kids wearing Iron Man T-Shirts could be seen running towards them down the street. “Damn you Jack! I also need to know what you mean by different ideals? I don’t think I had a long conversation with you.” Jack just gave him a deadpan stare while pulling him back.

Leaning in closer to whisper in Jacob’s ear. “I’m a gun company/etc CEO and you represent..?” Gesturing to Jacob with a knowing smile that grew, while someone stood next to them for a new picture. With an excitable younger crowd in front, besides their folks taking poses for each side they were on.

Jacob then leaned and whispered back, “Remind me to make you a gun that has bullets that can pierce vibranium.” He then stood back up and said, “He’s the gun guy, I am the peace guy (most of the time). Take your pictures!”

“I’m just a pirate of the Iron kingdoms” Said Asphyxious as he pulls out his cutlass and poses with a grin on his face.

I rolled my eyes at the silliness, and turned to Thomas and Meowth. “You two go ahead, I’m going to go talk to the ladies while those goobs get pictures, see what their going rate is for reference.”

“Why hello there, mister.” Said one of the ladies. “What can we do for you?”

“Drop the act. I know you’re hookers.” I said, bluntly. “So, how much for my friends?”

“Hey, try acting like more of a gentleman, and we might tell you.” Said one of the other ladies.

“Sorry, it’s just that we’re having a party, and all.” I said. “So, how much for…. Wait a second. You girls…. You seem off.”

“Well duh.” Said one of the ladies in a masculine voice. “Honestly, I was waiting for you to figure it out. What about you guys?”

“Yep.” Said another.

“Totally waiting.” Said yet another.

“So, changelings?” I asked.

“Well, what did you expect?” Said the one who had decided to drop the act. “Human females?”

“Honestly, eh.” I said. “Ya know, we’re going to ruin this place. I can offer you all a better place to live. I mean, we already have the Dwarves and the Low Elves back where I was.”

“Eh, sure. Why not.” One said. “I’m guessing Material Plane, since we haven’t seen you before… Plus with you being the DM’s Champion and all. Bye.”

“Wait, what?!” I asked, but I was too late. The time it took for me to register what they had said was enough for them to leave and step through a portal. “Well damn.”

“Dox look cosplayers!” Yelled out Asphyxious from somewhere.

“Great.” I said. “Well, this is gonna be a good night.”

Several hours later:

“Ow, my head.” I said, clutching my temples. “What the fuck happened?” My head was pounding, like I had dwarves trying to smith my skull.

“Guess you couldn’t handle Vegas.” The Trottingham accented voice comments, getting me to blink and realize I was laying on a bed. “Avarice is right, this town eats people alive.”

“Well, you’re right on tha-” I said, finally looking around the room. I was in a cheap ass hotel room, with Avarice…. And he was spooning me. I wasn’t even the big spoon! The worst part of it all was, I was in a female version of my normal form….. naked. “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” ‘No, no, no, no, NO! God of Fertility! Spooning me! Naked!’ “PLEASE TELL ME WE DIDN’T DO WHAT I THINK WE DID?!”

“Damn, my head well last night was… interesting?” I heard Asphyxious say from another room.

“What the...” I heard Alex say shortly after, before Asphyxious was sent flying through the wall and landed on the floor. “I don’t know who the hell put me next to Asphyxious,” I heard Alex continue, “But when I find you, PREPARE TO LOSE YOUR BALLS!!!!!”

Asphyxious then sat up and rubs his head. “Alex you don’t remember?” Asked Asphyxious before he turned to the bed and saw me. “Wow, nice look Dox.”

‘Oh no~!’ I mentally groaned, yeah, never felt that sore down there before. ‘if that isn’t proof I don’t know what is! How could I do this? Get pregnant on my Bachelor party? Did someone drug me?’

At the door an odd sound emanated.

*whump*

*whump*

*crack*

The door collapsed to show Kyth trying to backpedal into the room. He gave all of us a pleading look and I saw that somehow all of the tentacles of his face were entangled with the contents of a vending machine. I also saw him chewing something. He spoke in a voice that let on that he was still a tad drunk, despite being a minor.

“I got the Pringles!… But I shorta got shtuck....” He fell over and glanced up at us. “Halp pls.”

“*Sigh* I’ll help you big guy, just let me find my underwear.” Said Asphyxious as he went back into the other room Alex was in.

“Okay, who of us DIDN’T screw each other?! Wake up!” I shouted as I elbowed Avarice behind me, only to hiss at feeling my elbow hit diamond-hard scales. ‘Damn it, what is he this time?’

Over where he laid behind me, still spooning me, I heard Kyth yelling. “I dunno! You guyses locked me in the hall, but I heard some SHIT! Like I heard grunts, schquealsh and even shomebody making cat noises! It was crazies… Hell I heard a shcream too I think.”

He burped. “Uh… I keep drinkin’ water but nothin makes me feel less weird…”

He took out a bottle of vodka and downed it, letting out a small hiss sound afterward.

Asphyxious walk back out of the room and closed the door and looked at everyone. “Don’t go in there Alex a little… Just don’t go in there” He then go over to try and help free Kyth. “Just hold still big guy”

I was about to comment about how Avarice was in bed with me, when I blushed and choked at feeling a certain something big start getting bigger between my thighs. ‘Oh, fuck, no….’ “NOPE!” I yelled as I jumped out of bed, not caring for my diminishing pride, and drew my sword on him. “NO! JUST, NO! NO SNU SNU FOR YOU!”

Kyth yelled out one last thing in a scottish accent before falling silent, pointing a claw vaguely in my direction. “SHE CANNAE TAKE ANYMORE CAP’N!”

Asphyxious, however, just growled and said. “Shut your gob and hold still I can almost get it out I just have to reach a little deeper.”

“Mmph...what’s all the racket?” Avarice finally woke up, his currently anthro dragon body shifting up. “Pee….” He climbed out of the bed, ignored me, and stumbled into the bathroom. Oh...that was just ‘morning wood’ then.

Tomas groaned, picking himself of the floor, “Arceus, what happened?”

Meowth groaned, struggling to pick himself up, looking around, he found himself being held by Tomas. “....Nothing happened between us, right?”

Tomas dropped the Meowth, checked himself, he sighed in relief, “Thank Arceus, that I’m still wearing my uniform.” His eyes snapped wide open, “Where’s Ken?”

Meowth looked around, “I don’t see him, maybe he’s still asleep.”

Tomas looked around nervously, “I lost a twelve year old boy in a large city, my twelve year old nephew, Arceus, my sister is going to kill me.”

“And there!, you’re free big guy.” Said Asphyxious with a smile. “Now I’m going check on Alex, seeing he’s a acting like a woman now. I’ll be right Back.”

Kyth gave a small thumbs up and stood uncertainly. He took one look over the room before his face seemed to bulge up. He gagged.

“BLEEEEECH!!”

We all stopped for a moment to watch the small pigeon that had flown out of his mouth land daintily on the ground and start pecking around. Kyth himself looked down on it for a moment before shrugging and plopping himself down on a chair in the corner of the room, looking utterly confused. “De fuuuhh…?”

Avarice came back from the bathroom, now wearing his pants and silver signet ring. “Ah~! Haven’t had to do that since I was Displaced. Now, so why’d you jump my bones last night Dox?”

“THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!” I asked, confused as all hell. “I was drunk! I don’t even remember last night!”

“Well, while I was sober, you lot all stumbled here into West Vegas, tearing shit up and playing bumper cars with actual cars, being hilarious jackasses all the while, and then you all sorta collapsed after I, Jack, and Jacob all managed to corral you to the Texas Station casino hotel. You were all totally blitzed, way worse than anyone I’ve ever seen. Anyway, I decided to get you all situated while Jack, Crescent and Jacob all offered to watch the kid. Then...well...you kinda didn’t give me an option. Pulled some sort of bullshit attraction spell out of your ass and I couldn’t resist you.”

“So, wait.” I said. “I got drunk, and then jumped you.”

Avarice shrugged. “Had fun, but, eh, sorry. I don’t know enough about magic to snap out of a haze that heavy. I mean, damn. You got really creative.”

“I vaguely remember something about magic strip poker or something?” Said Asphyxious as he walks around fully dressed.

“God damn it.” I said. “Ya know, fuck it. I’m just wondering if I can change back or not.”

Don’t worry. I took care of the protection. The DM’s voice chimed.

“Wow, thaaaaaaanks.” I said. “Where were you when I got drunk and jumped him?”

You call that drunk? You were all drugged. One of the humans decided to try and have fun with you all and it all backfired. You even ended up killing him. Hell, his body’s in the corner of your room.

“Joke was on him! I ate his… Er... Oh right! I remembered it! I ate his spleen ‘n haggis!”

I gave Kyth an odd look from the fact that he seemed to have heard DM.

“Yo anybody hearing The DM right now, I only ever heard his voice once and that was with Dox and I was in the void that one time.” Said Asphyxious as he looks around. Kyth held up a hand like he was going to say something.

“You guys oughta… Oughta know… BLEEEECHH!”

With that, the ruined floor of our hotel room had soda, vodka, and gummi bears that had gone through and been barfed up by a Cthulhu join it. Kyth blinked and gave a thumbs up.

“I don’ remember anymores!”

“Well I hear him, but then again I’m kinda stuck with the fate of being a deity, and I just did the nasty with Dox like, twelve times at least.” Avarice added, and looked at the body, licking his lips. “Mmm...human...haven’t tasted that yet.”

“Listen.” I said as I shifted back to normal, my clothes thankfully returning. “Let’s just all head back, then we can all say our goodbyes and go home. I think I’ve had enough of our little party.” I took out my Runic Portal Matrix, and opened a portal. “Well? Everyone through the portal, we’re going home.”

“The girls will not be pleased with any of us.” Said Asphyxious as he walked through. Kyth let out a drunken laugh.

“Tch! Says you! I didn’t sex nobody, I just drank and ate things! Hell I ateded a jellyfish! Or was it a fish covered in jelly? Eh… Either way, I gots loot and had some crazy shit happen!”

He took out a large sack of nondescript features.

“Well we just ended up sulking around until you all showed up and Dox got freaky. Damn dude, just to let you know; you’re a natural. That’s what disturbs me, considering you don’t go all girly at all.” Avarice and Crescent said before merging together and moving to quickly eat the corpse in the corner while they all looked away, but I grabbed his wrist with my robot arm.

“Shut the hell up before I make you.” I said, shoving him and the others through the portal.

Well, as expected, the girls were waiting for us.

“They’re smiling at us...” Whispered Asphyxious.

“DOX!” Bluebelle screamed at me. “You have some explaining to do!”

“Can it wait until I send some people home?” I asked.

“You can send everyone but Arbok home! SHE! Deserves to know where she stands in our relationship. Those are YOUR offspring Dox! Didn’t you even battle for the right to be her mate?” Bluebell shouted as she stormed up to me, and grabbed my ear in a paralyzingly painful pinch. “Now move it mister!”

“AH~! NOT THE EAR!” I shouted in pain as we passed my other betrotheds and Arbok, who was looking quite angry too, and Luna took my Matrix from my pocket as we passed.

“You can all go home by just focusing on your dimensions with this, just leave it behind so the others can all go home too.” Luna instructed before handing the billiard-ball sized portal device to Sarah, and turned to walk away after Sarah had nodded to Arbok, who slithered after them, her eggs still secure, three other Pokemon slithered towards their mother, the large shiny Arbok comforted her mother, while the tall dark Arbok stood protectively, a large blind Ekans with a large star birthmark slithered at the wrong direction and hugged a vase, until he noticed that his mother was ahead of him and started slithering towards her, smiling sheepishly.

“I want to wait and see what happens” Said Asphyxious with a smile, and Kyth nodded behind him.

“Oh Kyth~!”

Kyth looked up blearily as F.A.U.S.T. Called him. From behind her thick thigh, Jen stepped out with an entirely reconstructed form. She smiled uncertainly at Kyth as he walked up to her.

“Uh...Hey Kyth uh...Whatcha think?”

“..You look sorta like when you were human.”

He said this in a flat tone. Jen gained a downtrodden expression, which immediately left her as Kyth tackled her in a drunken hug.

Jen blinked and took a whiff off Kyth. She turned and glared at the crowd of males as she held up Kyth with one arm and morphed out a blaster in the other, aiming at the group. “Who the FUCK got Kyth wasted!?”

Asphyxious held up both hands and didn’t really do anything, then looked to the others. ”Well it was fun guys, but I think it time for me and the girls to head off home. Somebody say goodbye to Dox for me okay?” He then walked over to his girls and headed off through the portal home that opened when Chrysalis touched the orb.

“I’m going to take a nice long nap once we get back” He said once they all walk through. As Jen carried Kyth, who was now leaning on her back and letting out a soft snore, to the portal she mumbled something about ‘being glad that F.A.U.S.T. had made her upgraded body seven feet tall’ and ‘Kyth being easily eight feet and difficult to carry beforehand’.

When she stood before it she waved to F.A.U.S.T and all of the others in the room. “Well I suppose it’s been a good night. Tell Dox we said goodbye and that we had fun, see you guys later! If I need any tech support I’ll call you F.A.U.S.T!” She extended an arm out and grabbed the Hyperion Acquisition Beacon she had been given to call with and waved good bye as she carried Kyth through the portal.

“Tell Dox I said bye, and I wish him a happy wedding and honeymoon.” Alex said, walking up to the Runic Portal Device and opening a portal. He left through it without another word.

“Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything, or if Luna wants more games. Also Jack, here is that gun I promised you.” He then tossed it to Jack, who caught it rather well. “It’s a high caliber revolver with twenty Nth metal/adamantium bullets. It also doesn’t miss.” Jacob said as he walked through the portal.

After everyone had gone, minus Team Rocket and Jack/F.A.U.S.T., Avarice was the only one standing in the room, holding the orb he helped create. He looked at it in trepidation, knowing how it worked on a level most wouldn’t know, since he helped make it, he hadn’t been able to forget Dox’s knowledge on the object. Still, he hoped, and opened a portal, only to grit his teeth, jump up in size to about F.A.U.S.T’s size again as a mutant alicorn once more, and closed it, before dropping the thing to the floor with a loud clank. “Fuck you...fuck everything….” He stormed off, leaving Team Rocket worried, while Jack sighed out his nose with F.A.U.S.T putting a hand to his shoulder. He could relate….

Author's Notes:

So, yeah. This was a MASSIVE collab with several other authors, as you can see.
So, here we go with all the peoples:
Runic Soul and his story A Displaced Mask Hunter
Architect of Realities and his story Handsome Jack's Return
Ink Sword and his story Buck You, I'm Iron Man
Archon The Manic and his story My Life as a Teenage Elder God
ShadowsInTheDark and his story A Lich Of Metal And Souls
And finally for the guys that are only in this chapter is a feature of Flutters Is Shy and his story Applegate

Notice I say only in this chapter. Yes, there's a part three to all this.
In that, and this, is:
Darkstar709 and his story Prepare for Trouble and Make it Double
And finally GameJunkie7 and his story Hello Stranger......

Oh, and yeah, I assume they're all male. I don't know, I never bothered to ask, nor is it really my place to, just don't sue me about it. XD

Anyways, this is the currently sick DJ A String, a.k.a. Music Mod, signing off. Peace! *cough cough*

Edit: sorry bout that. Didn't notice the out of place thing that should have stayed as a comment.