That feeling when you miss something. Something important to you, somepony that would tuck you in at night, somepony to read you bedtime stories, somepony to call a ma and a pa. Something Applebloom misses and wants, but her parents died. Her mother died when she was born, and her father committed suicide shortly after. He was tearing up from the inside, he wasn’t able to live much longer. He did it so he was able to see his wife again.

When Applejack, Granny Smith, and Big Mac found out, it saddened them more then anything. They swore to tell Apple Bloom when she got older and promptly they did , but the poor filly didn’t take it lightly. She thought it was all her fault that they died, she blamed herself because she felt her birth was the reason they died. She had cried into her sisters fur for hours. Eventually Apple Bloom had fallen asleep, and Applejack had to put her sister to bed.

With all the emotions, everything that happened that day, Applejack felt guilty. She felt that this was all her fault, she thought she could've saved her father at least, . She felt she didn’t deserve the title of big sister, even with her friends’ and family’s support.”.” She cried herself to sleep every night.

She once thought of suicide, but Big Mac and Granny Smith told her that her life was as important as any other. The point was that she must live. They offered Applejack to see a psychologist to help her with the loss. It helped. In the end, Applejack was able to control herself more. Never again did she feel the need to take her own life, and from that day forward she vowed to be honest and truthful no matter what. It was a promise she made on her ma and pa’s grave. That and to be the best big sister she can be to poor little Bloom.

Shortly after Applejack stopped crying over the loss of her parents, another soul in the family was hurt more by this, but unlike Applejack, Apple Bloom kept it to herself. She didn’t want any of her family worrying about her. Deep inside Apple Bloom knows one thing: it was her fault. If she hadn’t been born, then their ma and pa would still be alive. They would have all been happy.

*****

Darkness surrounded the farm. It was nighttime at Sweet Apple Acres, a soft wind blowing through the trees, the leaves rustling as they fell off.

Apple Bloom was in bed, looking at a picture album of her parents. Every time she looked at it, it only brought guilt. Even though she just turned seven years old a month ago, she still felt like everything that happened when she was a foal was her fault, nothing could stop what she thought. One time she almost cried in front of Applejack which would not of been good for her. Applejack would have wondered what she was upset about but she only said she had something in her eyes.

New tears were coming down her face, some landing on the album. Her father was a grey pony with blue mane his mark was of an Apple Pie, from what her sister had told her, her Pa was fantastic at making pie. He was the greatest at it, even better then Pinkie Pie.

Her mother was a tall earth pony. She had a green coat and her mane was yellow; her cutie mark was a hay stack as she always helped with stacking hay together and helping out on the farm.

Apple Bloom was now crying real tears, not of joy and certainly not out of happiness, but out of sadness, her mother and father died and the thought of it being her fault made her feel guilty. “Ah wish I was never even born,” Apple Bloom said closing the photo album and placing it on the table beside her bed. She snuggled deep into her pillow closing her eyes as tears streamed down her cheek. “If ah wasn’t alive then they still be here, alive and happy, and ma sister, brother and Granny would be much happier, unlike me, ah’m just worthless...”

The next morning Celestia’s sun rose up, shining its powerful rays across the sky, Applejack was already up bucking the trees trying to get some apples both for her family to eat, as well as some to sell.

Big Mac was busy plowing the field and Granny Smith was on her way up to wake Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom was a heavy sleeper, not even the rooster could wake her. So it was always Granny or her sister that had to wake her, Apple Bloom’s dreams were always the same; ponies blamed her for her parents death.

Granny Smith opened Apple Bloom’s door. Though she was surprised to see an old photo album on Apple Bloom’s table, she ignored it for now and decided to tell Applejack later. Maybe she would know why it was there.

Granny Smith set about shaking Apple Bloom with her hooves trying to wake her as nothing else really worked, not even an ice bucket of cold water.

“Wake up pipsqueak its time for...time for...Granny’s memory was bad so she pulled out her notebook “and” read what it said. “It’s time for school little Bloom”, after finishing waking up the young filly, she walked out of the room, letting Apple Bloom get herself together.

Apple Bloom's eyelids were red from the crying she did last night and she had sleep bags in her eyes from being too sleepy, just like every other school day. Getting out of bed and sitting on the edge Apple Bloom sighed.Today of all days, why did she have to go to school? It was around this time of the month that she cried more than usual. Because today was the day her parents died, march 8th to be exact.

Getting out of bed slowly but surely, she opened her closet where her mountain of bows were. She dug through them trying to find the right one, and she picked the one that was given to as a gift when she was born. How could she tell the difference you may wonder? Well the bow had the words Ma and Pa written on it and she only wore it on the day of her parents passing, seven years, seven long years was how long she had that one bow.

As she looked at her red bow it reminded her of the time every year she and her family went to her parents grave. Applejack, Granny and Big Mac would cry a decent amount, but Apple Bloom would cry more than them.

Snapping out of her haze and into reality, Applebloom rubbed her eyes trying to wake herself up. Those memories would always get in her way but she couldn’t control it because deep inside she knew one little thing;every last thing that happened in the past was her fault, she was weak, pathetic, and all alone in this world.

Putting the bow on her head and tying the ribbons over her mane,she walked out of her room and into the hallway with a frown. Upon reaching the kitchen there was some cereal on the table, the box said Luna puffs.

Sitting down, Apple Bloom slowly ate as Granny Smith was doing her usual thing, hitting bottles of glass for whatever reason, but Apple Bloom was used to that. Right now she was focusing on forgetting about the past, if she did keep remembering she’d show her gloomy side.

Apple Bloom finished her meal, put it in the sink, grabbed her saddlebag and was about to open the door to leave but Applejack opened it instead. She noticed Applebloom was acting strange, the way her face was sad, and as a sister Applejack could tell something was up.

“What’s the matter sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

Applebloom sighed “Ah was wondering if one of ya could come to school with me today? It’s “bring your parent to school” day and ah can’t thank of anypony besides you sis,” she said as she took deep breaths.

Applejack walked over to her sister with a frown “Oh..” she knew how badly Apple Bloom wanted to have one of them go but she was too busy today. “Ah’m sorry sugarcube, but today is zap apple day and well we’re kinda busy with so many other things at the moment. Ya know Granny is helping with making sure the jars are uh….ready, and Big Mac’s helping me buck apples, maybe next year Bloom,” she said. Walking out of the house she really wanted to go with Apple Bloom, but it truly was a busy day.

Apple Bloom pouted a little but walked out of the house, walking down the dirt road to the school, she was not looking forward to today at all.

Apple Bloom soon arrived at school, and when she got there she saw Scootaloo with her mom by the schoolyard. Scootaloo’s mother was an orange pegasis, her name was Amber, and she was a very talented weather pony. She wasn’t as good as Rainbow Dash though.

She also noticed Sweetie Belle was there with her sister. Her parents were always busy on trips so she couldn’t have them come, but having Rarity there must have been great.

Diamond Tiara walked passed Apple Bloom, glaring at her. If anything Diamond Tiara knew about Applebloom’s parents being dead and wanted to bring it upon herself to make Apple Bloom feel useless. She stopped walking at the entrance to the school yard and so did her father.

“Oh Daddy can you tell me how much you love me again?” the pink brat asked, receiving a smile from Filthy Rich, he truly cared about his daughter's happiness.

“Why of course sweetheart. I love you more then anything, speaking of which,” he pulled out a bag of bits and gave it to Diamond Tiara. It had about one hundred bits in it. “Spend that money on whatever you want. I’ll be back, I must talk to Mrs. Cheerilee for a moment,” he walked off towards the teacher, who was sitting on a bench watching the fillies and colts.

Diamond Tiara walked up to Applebloom, “Hey baby blank flank. Where are your parents?” she asked, receiving a saddened look from Apple Bloom.

“Ah already told ya, my parents are gone. They’re in a better place Diamond,” she said a little annoyed but resolved to standing her ground at whatever the pink filly said. Apple Bloom knew she’d have to be strong against her.

Diamond Tiara cracked her neck and walked closer to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom stepped back as she came closer. “So where's your brother, sister and that old fart Granny?” she asked once again.

“Thier busy on th-” she couldn’t finish because Tiara interrupted her.

“Save it blank flank. I know where they are, they’re bucking Apples because they don’t care about you. Am I right?” Diamond Tiara said as Applebloom’s breathing started increasing,the young filly getting angrier.

“They do care for me so why don’t you just l-leave ya brat, not like your father cares about ya anyways. All he cares about is his job and his money,” Applebloom said, causing Diamond Tiara to growl at her.

Diamond Tiara had it, at this point she was being as nice as she could but now she was going to bring out the big guns. “Oh yeah, well I know why your parents are gone, I bet they’re happy to be away from a useless worthless buckin BLANK FLANK like YOU!! I bet Applejack and the rest of your family can’t wait tell you buckin DIE, NOPONY LOVES YOU!! an…..Agh” Diamond Tiara was tackled to the ground being punched by a furious Apple Bloom who had tears of pure hatred streaming down her face; Diamond Tiara was afraid.

Apple Bloom, however, had finally had enough of the pink fully. She began punching Diamond Tiara in the face, not even regretting it. “Take it back you stupid little...ugly brat.” Apple Bloom started aiming for the nose causing Diamond Tiara to bleed a lot.

Fillies and colts gathered around in a circle, yelling “Fight,Fight,Fight.” Even Scootaloo was there, screaming and cheering for Apple Bloom to win.

Apple Bloom was about to hit her one last time, until she got restrained by Cheerilee. She couldn’t believe Apple Bloom would do such a thing.

“APPLE BLOOM!! In my classroom, NOW!!” she yelled.

Applebloom was breathing heavily, she looked at Diamond Tiara and was shocked at what she did, Tiara was bruised on most of her face, she had blood ticking down her nose, and her tiara was broken, “Did ah really do that?” she asked. Nopony answered so she walked into the school house.

Scootaloo was still bouncing up and down as Apple Bloom walked away. “THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!” she cheered. Amber glared at her daughter. Scootaloo saw the look on her mothers face and stopped “I mean the horror, oh the horror,” she said with a pout.

Nurse Redheart had arrived shortly took and took Diamond tiara to the hospital to fix her up, Filthy Rich followed, he needed to know if his daughter would be ok.

Cheerilee walked into the schoolhouse with Applebloom, she didn’t look pleased. “Apple Bloom, I called for your sister to pick you up. What you did was wrong. I don’t know what she said to you but you had no right to do that. I decided the right punishment is one week detention, and whatever Applejack chooses,” Cheerilee said as she sat down behind her desk and started to do paperwork, as Apple Bloom sat quietly at her desk crying a little.

About thirty minutes later Applejack came and talked to Cheerilee for awhile. It saddened her to know that Apple Bloom would've done such a thing, she felt that she failed as a sister. She and Apple Bloom walked home quietly, no one spoke for at least ten minutes but when the pair returned to the farm Applejack broke the silence.

“Apple Bloom….” she started, “Ah’m very disappointed in you, you should've just ignored whatever Diamond Tiara said. You should've just told the teacher,” they arrived at home and she stopped and gave her little sister a stern look.

Apple Bloom couldn’t take it anymore; holding in this much sadness and guilt for so long was too much, she felt like she would explode. “NOT LIKE YA CARE FOR ME ANYWAYS!” she yelled gritting her teeth

Applejack was taken aback and backed away a little. “What are ya talking about? Ah have been there for you ever since they died, damn it,” she snapped.

Apple Bloom felt tears coming out and just ran out of Sweet Apple Acres towards the graveyard. She just wanted to be alone, how could Applejack do that to her,how could she just curse like that infront of her, sure she didn’t know why was hurting but still.

Applejack ran after her sister and felt a strange feeling the feeling of guilt in her chest. “Ah’m so stupid. Why did ah have to snap at her like that? It wasn’t right of me.” She stopped walking, realizing Applebloom was headed into ponyville graveyard. She brought everything together, Apple Blooms behavior, the album on her table that Granny told her about, all of it made sense now.

Galloping as fast as her legs could go she went to the graveyard. She sighed and walked down the path, upon reaching her parents grave she saw her sister crying next to them.

“Ma,Pa I just want you to know I’m sorry for being a burden, ah’m sorry for being useless. If I was never born then you would both be alive. Applejack, Big Mac and Granny Smith would be happy, but its my fault that you're both dead.” It was silent for a while, Applejack was crying a little, Apple Bloom continued.

“Ah wish I was dead, then maybe everypony would be happy,” she said now sobbing into the soft green grass. It then started to rain hard getting her soaked, she felt a hoof wrapped around her, placing her into a loving hug.

“Apple Bloom…. Ah never knew this was how ya felt. If ah knew I’d of fixed this. Ah’m sorry that ah never knew, but I promise I’ll be there for ya now,” Applejack said as she held her sister close, tears were all so streaming down her face.

Apple Bloom looked at Applejack as she cried and hugged her sister “But it’s my fault Applejack. They died because of me, if only I was ne-” Applejack hushed her with a tender hoof over her mouth.

Applejack put her hoof on Apple Bloom’s chin making her look into Applejack’s eyes “Ah understand how you feel little sis, and ah am sorry that you felt this way for awhile. I should've noticed and I’m sorry for not being closer to you and there for you when ya needed me. But if you accept my apologies ah promise from now on I’ll do everything ah can for you sugarcube,” she finished with a smile.

Applebloom stared at Applejack for awhile, all she ever felt was that all this was her fault but her sister explained it wasn’t and with that Apple Bloom hugged her sister tighter “Ah am so sorry Applejack, yer right…..I love ya sis,” she said as tears of joy streamed down her face.

Applejack returned the hug and the two sisters remained that way for the remainder of the night together at the graveyard.

It was silent for several minutes, then Apple Bloom decided to ask Applejack something.

“Applejack?” she said quietly, Applejack was slowly rubbing her sister’s back.

Applejack tilted her hat sideways. “Sure thing Bloom, whatchu want to ask me?”

Apple Bloom took a deep breath, her lip quivered a little as she spoke, “I uh I was wondering if you could, possibly….be more then I mean...” she stopped for a minute to catch her breath. “I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD BE MORE THAN A SISTER LIKE!!….a ma” she finally said, breaking down crying.

Applejack came over and brought Apple Bloom into a loving hug. “Aw Apple Bloom I can be anything you want. You can call me ma or sis...whatever ya want,” Applejack said reassuringly.Apple bloom smiled widely.

Apple Bloom was very shocked that she would agree to this. “Thankyouthankyou, ah….ah love ya…..ma,” she said as a single tear came sliding down her face.

Applejack felt herself crying as well. Never in all her life had she expected to be more than a sister to Apple Bloom. She bent down and hugged her and put her on her back “Ah think its time for you to go to bed Apple Bloom.”

Apple Bloom didn’t respond and just slowly closed her eyes, resting her head on Applejacks soft fur. “Goodnight…..ma.”