"Uhh...Rai dearie?"

"..."

"You there?"

"..."

"Equestria to Rai, have we made contact?"

Sigh.

"Mmm." I hummed. I slowly looked up at the group, changing my sights from the troubled waters. I found myself staring at 7 ponies (and filly) with concerned looks over their faces. One such mare didn't care at all about my current state, obviously. A veil of silence covered the room, the only noise being made was the quiet bubbles of air popping from the tub.

Everything felt....rather awkward for some strange reason.

It's like someone has been squeezing my heart, forcing me to cry. It's not because of what Rainbow Dash said, right? But of course, it has to be.

I shouldn't really care about an insult, right? I've gotten it so many times before, it's as though it has become a second language to me, my self-esteem won't break down that easily, so why did it crumble into dust when she said those words?

"Hey, you alright Rai? It's taking you awfully long to make a comeback" I hear her words once more.

Even she doesn't care about what she's said....

"Mm."

I stood up, taking extra care to cover myself with the sogging towel that clung to my skin literally. I pursed my lips shut, my eyes dimmed a little as I slowly walked out of the room to dry myself. Mists of steam clouded my body, making it harder to see my being the further I walked from them. I left without a word, dismissing the questions that surfaced from the bathtub.

I know it was rather brash of me to just stand up and leave right there and then, in the middle of a conversation, but I just felt like I wanted to be alone for a while. Dear god, I'm such a fucking child, how am I ever going to grow up when I just act like this? Like some idiot who avoids conflict once they step too far and really piss someone off. And to think, I'll officially be 18 in two months.

I'll officially be...an adult.

I left the spa before Aloe could get off her desk to ask what I was doing. The warm, sunny air attempts to cheer my mood alongside it's friend: the sun's rays, but it does nothing towards the attitude that I'm already stuck on. Not even the weird 'squee' Applebloom makes when I hug could even bring me out of this one, this kind will only be fixed if I spend some time relaxing.

And going back to Fluttershy's home in the quiet forest will do just that.

I need to be alone for a while. I'd get some ice cream and a TV but those things just don't exist here.

What a shame.

"Where is that idiot?"

"Don't be so mean, Dash. He's been through a lot."

"You can't feel bad for him forever, soon you're gonna see him as a freeloader on your couch Flutters!"

"Oh dear no, I'd never see Raijin like that. You might not know it, but he helps around a lot when I'm with the animals."

"I bet he still treats you like he does to me."

"Quite the contrary."

"O-oh."

I sat on the couch as I nibbled on some carrots that I found laying around on the kitchen.

A certain white bunny hopped up on my lap. An annoyed look on his face surfaced.

"Find your own carrots."

Soon enough he started to tap repeatedly on my lap with his foot.

Asshole.

I split the nibbled carrot in two as best as I could before I gave to him. I gave the leafy end to him as I'd expect him not to eat the part where I've already put my mouth on-common sense, really. The rabbit chomps it down, right before burping. That white bastard can eat quickly, that I can say. His adorable stature did a number on my cuteness shields, so I could do nothing but pet his head.

"So far, you're the only dude that I'm not bothered with. Mainly since you aren't a pony."

As a response, he fell forward on my chest as he began to sleep,lightly nuzzling me. I continued rubbing his fluffy head, his involuntary kicks that he does shows that I'm doing something right. Giving a large sigh. I lay my body back on the couch which became my bed during my stay here.

My interest in living in this damned world is lessening each second. I could easily end it now. All that's stopping me is this damn bunny on my chest. But he's so adorable when he sleeps. I can't die with that as the last thing I see.

And besides, I can't leave a mess in Fluttershy's home, I owe that mare my life for letting me live here. She's the only mare I could ever have such a friendly behavior towards to.

I guess I'll just take a nap right now. But since it's afternoon, I will probably wake up at night, which will leave me refreshed till dawn. Eh, why not? I can spend more time mulling over things at night I guess, when everyone is asleep. Yeah...That seems like a nice idea.

I close my eyes as sleep takes me away to my dreams. If I'm gonna dream about happy things, I might as well dream about my life back in earth. But even that was fairly terrible anyway. Still, I did have some good times whilst I was there. Sometimes, I just wish that I could go back there. Well, at least I can simulate that right now.

-Time skip: 4 hours-

I slowly stir from my sleep as I hear the sounds of hooves clacking on the wooden floor.

"Fuck. Can you stop moving, whoever you are?" I groaned.

I hear a small yelp before I fully recuperate myself.

Yep, that's got to be Fluttershy. Who else would it be really?

"Oh, I'm sorry if I woke you up." She softly spoke.

"It's ok. Did you have fun at least on whatever you did when I left?"

"It was fine, we all ate at the Sugarcube corner and we all talked about today."

"Seems pretty normal."

"Umm, it's okay if you don't answer, but...why did you leave so abruptly at the spa?"

I avert her gaze, looking at the numerous bird houses that situated themselves on the ceiling of the living room. Only now did I realise that it was the sunset, nightfall quickly approaching as the sun was being lowered by the Sun goddess.

Moments of silence followed.

Fluttershy let me have my silence, waiting patiently for my answer as I debated on whether I should respond or not. She was quite different from all the other mares, kindest-definitely, and also the only one who hasn't questioned why I was even here. She'd make an amazing mother, from what I've seen when she works and tends to her animals. It's like she already knows what's wrong with them, and somehow has everything the poor creature needs to make it better.

Even better yet, her future husband wouldn't have to do anything at all once he's married to her, all he has to do is to keep fiathful to her and make her happy, and he can laze around the home forever, or even go out with his friends, as long as Fluttershy is happy at the end of the day. Oh what a life would that would be-

Ugh, why am I thinking of these things! More importantly, why am I even thinking of Fluttershy in that manner? It's not like I like her anyways, atleast, that's I think.

Oh, right. She's still waiting for me to answer. I looked up to look at her eyes, which looked calm as ever. A smile smile was plastered on her muzzle and she casually made herself comfortable beside me on the couch, sans the white, clingy rabbit that I was petting a few hours ago.

I prepare my answer, thinking of something that required the least amount of swears as possible.

"I left...just because." I replied, not even looking her in the eye as I did so.

"Just...because?" The butter-skinned mare tilted her head.

"Mhm."

"Are you sure that this is your answer? It seems quite vague, if you ask me."

"I'm keeping it vague for a reason."

"I guess you don't want me to know, do you?"

"No, it's just...you are...urgh!" I plunge my face down to my knees, exasperated by all of this. "If anything...you're the only mare that I could ever talk about these things with you."

"Then why not tell me?"

"It....involves one of your friends, and telling you will only cause trouble within the group. It's better to leave it alone with me than to share it and put your own relationships on the rocky road."

I sigh inside my knees, facing the cream-coloured floorboards. I feel her rubbing my back before sighing herself.

"It must be quite difficult for you to live here, don't you think?"

"Mhm."

I...just want to go back home. I just want to suddenly wake up and realize that everything was a dream. I just want to be back in earth, doing normal, tedious tasks each day to just live for a little longer. I just want to get out of this depression.

It makes me think like this, it puts me at my lowest, it makes me lose friends.

And what can I do about nothing, absolutely jack shit. My only 'shrink' is the miniature pony beside me!

Everything falls quiet again. My conversation with Fluttershy ended abruptly, with no answers to the question she made at the start. It's my own fault for not telling her, really. I heard that letting out all the things you wanted to say, really relieves you, I guess I fucked up on that one. I'm actually surprised that she still bothers with me too, I've been such a freeloader recently, but I try my best to help.

I'm no animal caretaker, but I do it with the best of my ability.

"You know what, I've had enough talking for now." I said as I got up from my couch. Placing the bunny beside Fluttershy. I head towards the door, making plans for my nightly solace in the clouds or a plain hill.

"Where are you going?" Fluttershy asks.

"Somewhere."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"..."

"Rai?"

"Because I need time to myself." Was all I said before I closed the door.

Taking in a deep breath of fresh, nightly, everfree air. I began my journey to find my very own cloud of solitude.

Hey...You awake?

...

...

Of course I am. You keep moving about you impudent fool.

No need to be so harsh.

I have the right to be. I am stuck inside this measly body after all.

I'm surprised that they could actually fit you inside me.

Just shut up and leave me be, peasant.

Love you too. Next Chapter: A Cloud To Find and a Dragon To Form Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 20 Minutes