I Love Him So Much

Cloudsdale Hospital – 7 years ago

Rainbow Dash, who had just turned fifteen last week, now sat in the hospital bed, the doctor and her father outside talking. She still had her long mane tied in it's usual ponytail, but her mascara had started running from all the crying she had done.

Damn it, she thought she was being careful! He said he was using a protection spell to prevent this from happening! This couldn't happen! She couldn't be...

Yet, here she was, waiting for her father and the doctor to come back in and give her the bad news.

“Fuck!” she screamed punching her pillow. A second later, the door opened, and both the doctor and her father looked at her seriously, “Sorry doc...”

“It's fine Miss Dash,” the doctor said, “I just got finished telling your father the results of the test.”

“And?!” Rainbow Dash asked anxiously. The doctor sighed and took off his glasses before speaking.

“They came up positive Miss Dash. You're pregnant.”

Dash looked at the doctor in horror, tears streaming from her eyes.

“W-what...? No.... NO!!!” she screamed covering her face with her hooves and crying, “This can't be happening?! This can't happen!”

“Oh Dash...” her father, Rainbow Blitz said walking over to her and embracing her, “Could we have a moment?”

The doctor nodded and walked out of the room. Dash leaned into her father as he held her tightly, rubbing her back trying to calm her.

“Daddy, I'm sorry!” Dash sobbed, “He said he was using protection, I didn't think that he-”

“Shh... it's alright, Princess,” Blitz said softly, “Birth control spells aren't perfect, so he could have been using one. At least it isn't anything like AIDS.”

Dash looked up at her father in surprise, “You're... not mad?”

“Mad? I'm just happy that you're safe,” Blitz said. Dash shook her head.

“But... I was so mean to you! I told you to fuck off! I was terrible! I am terrible!”

“No you're not,” Blitz said holding her shoulders, “No matter what you say or do, you will always be my princess, okay?”

“Daddy!” Rainbow Dash broke down again and wrapped her forelegs around her father in a tight embrace, “I promise, I'll do better! I'll be more responsible! I won't sleep around anymore! I'll get better grades! I'll do whatever you want me to do, I promise!”

“Oh Dash, you don't have to change who you are. Just try and make smarter decisions, okay?” Dash nodded, calming down a bit as she let go of her father, “Now, concerning this, there are options. First option, only if you want, we could get an abortion.”

“Abortion? You mean... they'd kill it?” Dash asked slowly.

“That's... one way of looking at it...” Blitz said looking aside, “It might not be ethical, but by doing this you'd be saving yourself from the stress of child birth.”

Abortion... when her father said that, the strangest feeling came over Dash. The idea of killing this child inside of her... it made her feel queasy, and afraid. This child didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't fair that she got to live her life and it never got the chance to even start it.

“No...” Dash said softly, “I don't want that...”

“Princess?” Blitz asked.

“I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I'm not going to kill this baby,” Dash said rubbing her stomach, “He or she deserves to live a lot more than me... I've wasted the last fifteen years of my life... but this child has its whole life ahead of it. Daddy, I'm... responsible for this child now, right?”

Blitz looked surprised, but then smiled warmly, “That's right, Princess. Do you want to keep it?”

“I... don't know what to do yet, but I am having this child,” Dash looked into her father's eyes, “It's going to have a life, no matter what.”

“Alright, now if we're going to start fighting the Nightmares, I need to know everything you're capable of,” Twilight said walking around the four alicorns. She had asked all of them to meet her in the White Tail Woods so she could learn all about their powers. She had hoped Spike would come too, but someone had to watch the Library while she was out. Besides, he missed his shift.

“Didn't you see what we're capable of in the last fight?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I saw what your base magics are,” Twilight said, “But I don't think you guys are using your magic to the fullest extent. The closest one to that is Rarity.”

Rarity smiled proudly, earning a groan from Applejack, “Don't get a swelled head,” she said.

“Too late for that,” Rarity said airily.

“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” Twilight said, “Rarity here is the only one of you who's used to casting spells. So from now on, I'll be your magic teacher.”

“How does it feel, being an almighty alicorn yet needing to be taught magic?” Rarity taunted Applejack, who growled at the prissy alicorn next to her.

“You're getting trained too,” Twilight said, shocking Rarity.

“What?! But you said that-”

“You're the closest, yes, but you still aren't using your magic to its fullest extent,” Twilight said, “All of you are looking at your powers too generally. You find the easiest way to apply it, and you stick with that. That might work against most enemies, but if we run into another red type that's large like the scorpion,” Twilight pointed to Rarity, “How many of your lasers do you think it'll take to break its armor?”

Rarity grumbled looking away in shame, while Applejack snickered. Hey, at least they weren't fighting each other anymore.

“Fluttershy, you're up first,” Twilight said. Fluttershy nodded and walked over to Twilight, “You use wind magic, correct?”

Fluttershy nodded, “It's really hard to use it in an attack though.”

“You've done it a few times,” Twilight said, “But what you need to learn is to bend the wind to your bidding. When you cast your magic, try and focus the wind to its sharpest point before shooting it out.”

Fluttershy nodded and turned to a nearby tree. Her horn started glowing, and the wind began picking up around them. She then slashed with her horn, somehow slashing the tree in front of her. It wasn't big, but it was enough to surprise Fluttershy. Everyone clapped for her.

“I can... do that?” Fluttershy asked.

“The wind doesn't just push away,” Twilight said, “You've made specialized blades of wind before, but I've never seen you harness the wind's truly sharp nature.”

“It's harder to concentrate to do that,” Fluttershy admitted, “That is... I have to...”

It looked like Fluttershy was having a hard time with something. Twilight figured that their magic was based on their mindsets, so Fluttershy had to actually want to hurt her opponent. Right now, she looked almost guilty of something.

“Is it hard, mixing the idea of hurting someone with trying to embody the Element of Kindness?” Twilight asked.

“Not really, it's just...” Fluttershy took a deep breath, “I'll work on it. Thank you.”

Twilight knew that there was something she wasn't telling her, but she nodded all the same and walked over to Rainbow Dash, “You're next, and I think you know what the problem is.”

Dash nodded, “Yeah, and believe me, I've tried. For some reason though, I can't release my electric magic out of my horn. I can only channel it through my body.”

“Hmm...” Twilight thought hard about that, “That is odd. I'd understand it in your pegasus form, but the second you change, your true power should unleash itself. Have you been practicing using your electric magic outside your true form?”

“I have,” Dash said, “But I can't do much more than what I do like this,” Rainbow Dash sighed, “This is humiliating.”

“Don't fret,” Applejack said walking over to Dash, “We all got obstacles ta break.”

“Right, I know,” Dash said irritated, “It still annoys me. I'm the only one who has to fight close quarter, and who can't use their horn.”

“Using magic isn't easy, not even for a unicorn,” Rarity said, “I didn't learn how to use telekinesis until I was nine years old. That's a basic unicorn spell.”

“Yeah, but I'm not nine,” Rainbow Dash said, “I'm twenty-two, so this is kind of embarrassing.”

Rarity looked to the side and smiled, “Why don't Twilight and I work with you then? Since you're having the most trouble, it might help if you had two unicorns helping you instead of just one.”

What was this “unicorn's” deal? She wanted Spike, yet she kept being so close to Twilight, who she had to know loved Spike too? Did she even love Spike? She only knew Spike for maybe a week or so, and Twilight didn't believe in love at first sight.

Well, at least she wouldn't be with Spike if they were together.

“Yeah, I agree,” Twilight said, “We'll both help you.”

“Thanks, you two,” Dash said. Rarity walked Dash off to help her first while Twilight turned to Applejack.

“Now, your problem is interesting,” Twilight said, “As I think it's more psychological than anything else.”

“Ya think?” Applejack asked.

“Magic is controlled by the mind and heart,” Twilight explained, “This is why unicorn magic becomes unstable with they're emotional. Things like depression, and fear can create blocks.”

That made Applejack look down in shame, “Ah see...”

“As you work through your fears, you'll be able to do more,” Twilight said, “I'll help you privately if you don't want your business out there.”

“Ah... appreciate that,” Applejack said smiling to Twilight. Before going off to help Applejack, she took another look at Rainbow Dash, who was charging up her electric magic through her body. It looked like she was straining a bit. When she stopped and fell to the ground, Rarity sighed and looked at Twilight, shaking her head sadly.

Rainbow Dash was definitely going to have the toughest time with this.

“Ugh... so much for that...” Dash said to Fluttershy as they walked back home, now in their pegasi forms. Fluttershy learned a lot about her magic, and was able to now create sharper gusts of wind. Rainbow Dash on the other hoof, hadn't progressed much at all.

“You're magic is definitely more potent now than it was before,” Fluttershy said.

“Well, yeah, but I still can't use my goddamned horn,” Dash groaned, “I mean, look at this,” they stopped, and Dash demonstrated by charging electricity through her entire body, “See? I can do that without a horn. What's the point of being able to transform into a powerful alicorn when I can't use the extra appendage I get?”

“Your magic is still stronger in your true form,” Fluttershy said, “Just be patient, Dash. I'm sure you'll get it eventually.”

“I may not have eventually! We don't know when Nightmare Night is starting, nor do we know when the next Nightmare is going to attack! I can't be left behind!”

“And you won't,” Fluttershy said placing a hoof on Dash's shoulder, “I'm sure that with enough time and training, you'll figure out what's wrong.”

“Yeah... I guess,” Rainbow Dash said looking downcast, thinking about what Rarity and Twilight said to her before they left.

Rainbow Dash, still in her true form, stopped charging her magic and fell to the ground, both Twilight and Rarity looking at Rainbow Dash worried. Dash slammed her hoof in frustration.

“Damn it!” she shouted, “What am I doing wrong?!”

“Dash, calm down,” Twilight said, “You're doing fine.”

“Clearly not! Otherwise I'd be shooting lightning out of this instead-” she stopped when she saw Twilight flinch, “Sorry Twilight. I know you're trying to help. It's just, I'm the newest Element, and I feel like I'm going to be left behind.”

“Rainbow Dash, what are you feeling when you cast your spells?” Rarity asked, surprising Dash as she turned to her fellow alicorn.

“Feeling? What does that have to do with magic?” Dash asked.

“Everything,” Rarity stated, “I didn't want to say anything until I was sure, but it seems that you're blocking yourself.”

“Blocking myself? How do you figure that?” Dash asked. She would have been irritated, but Rarity was a unicorn at one point.

“Magic comes from your emotions, and is controlled with your mind,” Rarity explained, “What I'm seeing is similar to what happens when a unicorn suffers a trauma and can't use magic.”

“I see,” Twilight said nodding, “Yes, that makes sense. If a unicorn's thoughts get in the way of the spell they're trying to cast, their magic would get stuck within them.”

“But I'm not a unicorn, I'm a pegasus,” Dash said irritably.

“No Rainbow Dash, you're not a pegasus anymore,” Rarity said seriously, “You're an alicorn, just like me. That means the same rules apply. Your thunder magic is being blocked, and until you figure out what's blocking it you're going to be stuck here.”

That hurt, a lot, but one thing about Rarity was that she was brutally honest. She had to figure out what was blocking her magic if she was going to get past this.

Rainbow Dash parted with Fluttershy and then flew back to her house. It was nighttime now, and she wanted, needed to rest. She still used up a lot of magic during training, and was absolutely drained.

“There you are,” Soarin said when she walked inside.

“Hey Soarin,” Dash said. She walked over to him and kissed him, “How was work?”

“We've got a bunch of new recruits coming in,” Soarin said rolling his eyes, “They can't fly worth shit. I swear, pegasi these days don't know what real flying is, you know?”

“Yeah, I hear ya,” Dash said looking at a picture of her, Soarin, and another pegasus named Fleetfoot, all three of them wearing Wonderbolt training uniforms, “Not like when we were training, huh?”

“Well, no one can fly as fast as you,” Soarin said wrapping a wing around Dash and kissing her neck. Normally she would have been putty in his hooves, but right now all that did was irritate the fuck out of her.

“Soarin, not right now...” Dash said moving out from under his wing. Soarin raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Bad day today?” He asked slightly accusingly.

“Just some shit I'm going through,” Dash said walking to the bedroom, “Sorry, but I need some rest.”

“If you want, I can take some of the tension away,” Soarin said, clearly still trying to get some.

“I mean actual rest, Soarin,” Dash said, “Tonight, just isn't a good night for me.”

Soarin sighed, “Dash...”

“I know, I know, I've been saying that a lot lately. I promise, I'll make time for us soon, but right now, I really need some sleep.”

Soarin rolled his eyes shaking his head, “Alright. I surrender.”

“Thanks,” Dash said giving him an appreciative smile and walking into her room, where she fell on the bed, beginning to feel a lot better. She felt bad for neglecting Soarin, but thankfully he understood. That's what was nice about having a real relationship. She had the comfort in knowing that what she had was real. Their relationship may have started out as being sex based, but now Soarin was someone she couldn't imagine her life without.

Was this what it felt like to be in love?

Rainbow Dash smiled to herself before drifting off to sleep. She'd think of a way to make it up to Soarin somehow.

“Spike? Are you home?” Twilight called out walking into the library.

“I'm in the study,” Spike called back. Twilight walked to the study room, where she was Spike sitting at a table reading a book on astrology.

“Astrology?” Twilight asked, “Finally taking an interest, huh?”

“Not really,” Spike said rolling his eyes, “I was thinking that there might be something here about Nightmare Night though. Something like a date we can pin Nightmare Night to.”

“What makes you think that Nightmare Night is in books on astrology?” Twilight asked sitting next to him.

“The story of Nightmare Moon is a really old one, dating back to before ponies knew about science. However, they still knew enough about the stars and moon to tell a story about a mare trapped in the moon. I've been trying to translate the story into modern day language, but so far...”

“Well, the book was right about the Elements of Harmony existing,” Twilight said.

“True, but most of the books talk about the Elements being ancient artifacts, not living, breathing ponies, and nowhere does it mention the magic of harmony,” Spike closed the book and leaned back, “The only date worth noting is a Solar Eclipse happening in two months, but those aren't uncommon.”

“True,” Twilight said, “Why don't I make some tea? You've been working really hard today, so you deserve a break.”

“Thanks Twilight,” Spike said with a smile. Twilight returned the smile and walked into the kitchen. She knew exactly how Spike liked his tea, and she was happy to see that they hadn't run out of his favorite. Oh, how she wished she could thank him in other ways. Maybe he would walk right into the kitchen right now and-

A hand touched her flank. It was Spike's hand.

“Spike... I...”

“Shh...” Spike said close to her ear, “Don't speak, and don't turn around. Just continue working, alright?”

“Mm hm,” Twilight nodded, tensing a bit as Spike rubbed her flank. It was so sensual. She was shivering at his touch, both because of her phobia and the nature of it. In fact, her phobia made it even hotter. If only he'd-

His finger slowly inched its way into her marehood. Oh fuck, this felt so wonderful.

“Mmm...” Twilight bit her lip trying to focus on making the tea, but his clawed finger was so deep inside, tickling her upper inner wall, and his thumb was rubbing the base of her clit. Oh... she was so close now. Any more and she'd probably explode, and come right there in the kitchen.

Wouldn't that be humiliating? Spike would see her as a slut. Hell, she was a slut for even enjoying this. She was so close to the brink.

“Oh... Spike...” Twilight moaned out loud.

“Yeah? What's up?” Spike asked, a little too far away. Twilight then snapped herself back to reality and turned to Spike, who was standing at the kitchen door looking confused.

“S-Spike,” Twilight stuttered, her face turning red, “When did you get here?”

“Just now...” Spike said slowly, one eyebrow raised, “I figured I'd wait here with you for the tea, since I hadn't seen you all day.”

“Oh,” Twilight said, turning back to the tea pot, “Right, tea. I'm making us tea. Yeah, tea.”

“Twilight, are you okay? If you want, I can-”

“FINE!” Twilight shouted suddenly, a lump in her throat as tears tried to build up in her eyes, “I'm fine, Spike. Just fine...”

Except that I'm about to die of mortification!

Spike just shook his head and sat down. He probably thought she was being weird now, and was second guessing his decision to spend the rest of the night with her. Now he was probably thinking about Rarity.

Damn that bitch! Acting like they were friends all of a sudden! She was probably just using her to get close to Spike! That's why she was being so friendly all of a sudden, electing her as the leader! It was a trick! It had to be a trick! That's the only reason she'd want to-

“Twilight, what's wrong?” Spike asked now standing next to her, “You look upset.”

“I said nothing is wrong!” Twilight fussed, now truly on the verge of tears.

“I don't believe that, not for a second,” Spike said, “Twilight, I've been your friend for thirteen years, so I know when something is wrong,” Spike sighed, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

“It... it's Rarity!” Twilight admitted harshly, “I don't care if she's an alicorn now, she used to be a unicorn, and she's acting all friendly around me, and I don't trust her!”

“Twilight, Rarity isn't Trixie,” Spike said, “Rarity and I are good friends now, and I can vouch for her. She genuinely wants to look out for you.”

You would say that, Twilight thought. He didn't know what her true motives were. A mare would say or do anything to get what they want, especially a unicorn. All unicorns were phony like that. She hated them.

“Spike, I don't...” Twilight started, stopping and flinching a bit when Spike's hand touched her shoulder.

“You can't let your past experiences taint your judgment of others,” Spike said, “Okay, Rarity used to be a unicorn, true-”

“But she's not one now, right?” Twilight continued for Spike, “Is that what you're going to say?”

“No,” Spike said, “I was going to say that just because she and Trixie were the same kind of pony doesn't make them both the same pony. Twilight, Rarity is the Element of Generosity, which means she gives a bit of herself to every pony everyday. She's a defender of people like you and me, so she's not going to betray you. Trixie hurt you for her own reasons, not because she's a unicorn.”

“Spike...” Twilight said looking away, “I can't do this. Opening up is too hard.”

“You opened up to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash,” Spike said.

“But they were pegasi before ascending,” Twilight said, “Pegasi are known for being the most honorable of ponies.”

“That's a huge generalization,” Spike said, “Yes, it's true that on average pegasi are extremely loyal and kind,” Spike must have realized what he said, cause he briefly chuckled to himself, “Heh, funny, but I've seen some really screwed up ponies working with Mom, and a few of them were pegasi.”

“So... are you saying that I can't really trust Dash or Fluttershy?” Twilight asked. Spike sighed before speaking.

“What is it about those two that made you trust them in the first place?” Spike asked.

“I could tell,” Twilight answered, “I have so much in common with Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy and I had a great conversation and she shared some of her past with me. I feel a connection to both of them.”

“Right, you saw something in common with both of them. I'm sure you and Rarity have something in common too.”

Oh, they did. Problem was, that was the one thing that was keeping them from being friends. They both wanted Spike, but only one of them could have him.

“You like her,” Twilight said with a sigh, “That's the only reason why I'll tolerate her.”

Spike smiled in relief, “Good. Now, how about I make the tea, so you can rest, alright?”

“Yeah, okay,” Twilight said, “I need to get something from my room. I'll be back, okay?”

Twilight didn't wait for Spike to answer her. She trotted out of the kitchen and ran into her bedroom, where she fell onto her bed and burst into tears. She was embarrassed, scared that Spike caught her, angry that Rarity was trying to be her friend, and above all, frustrated with herself and her feelings. She wanted to tell him so badly how she felt, but if she told him, he'd leave her. She knew he'd leave her.

He wouldn't want to date a weirdo like her.

Spike really didn't understand Twilight sometimes. Every now and again she got really emotional, but this looked really serious. Why did she call his name like that?

“Geez,” Spike said to himself, “Maybe Rarity would know what to do. I'll talk to her tomorrow.”

With that, he got back to the tea, making Twilight's favorite. No matter what mood she was in, this would help improve it. He knew her almost too well.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, this was my first ever TRULY graphic sex scene. Funny how my first true sex scene in a story is one of Twilight's fantasies.

........... I feel sad now....... I'm gonna go back to my Death Star and cry........

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