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Nor Iron Bars A Cage

by Bucking Nonsense

Chapter 3: Eccentric Is Just A Polite Word For Weird

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"Before I introduce you to your new employers, I should advise you of something."

Aphid and Howe stood outside the door of the master's study, where the master of the house, Blue Blazes and his wife were currently waiting. They'd been moving too quickly for Aphid to take in many details yet, but what parts of the house they had been through were almost painfully clean. It made sense, in a way: These were likely the parts of the house that saw the most use, so naturally, they were the first ones the maid staff would have worked on...

Howe, clearing his throat, continued, "Firstly, Count Blue Blaze's wife is not the mother of Azure Blue. Sadly, Countess Pearly White passed away a year before Sombra's appearance. I am given to understand that she was born sickly, and while she was able to endure the pain of childbirth twice, her heart finally gave up, and she passed away quietly in her sleep. Mrs. Penny Whistle, Blue Blazes' new wife, was the kind lady who ran the orphanage where Cobalt was raised. The two met shortly after Cobalt's escapades. Blue Blazes and Penny Whistle had what you might call a whirlwind romance, and were wed within a moon of having met."

Aphid might not have been the brightest bug in Equestria, but she was fairly good at noticing things. "You said that she endured childbirth twice," she observed, "so is there another little boy blue here?"

Shaking his head sadly, Howe said, "Count Blue had two brothers. One of them fled while Sombra and the princesses fought a thousand years ago, and was never seen again. The other was a knight, and Count Blue's younger son served as his squire. Both knight and squire were outside the Crystal Empire when it vanished, and in spite of an exhaustive search of historical records, no conclusive evidence was ever found regarding what happened to them, or where their descendants might be found."

A small half-smile on her face, Aphid asked, "Have they checked Cobalt's bloodline?" The resemblance between Azure and Cobalt, color schemes aside, was quite uncanny, age difference or no...

Chuckling, Howe admitted, "If there was one to check, I am certain it would help shed light on a few things. Sadly, Cobalt was a foundling. Basket on the front doorstep of the orphanage and all that. Whether his parents are still alive or not is questionable. Still, we may have gone a little far afield. What I really need to warn you about is the whistle... and the beard..."
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"It ish sho nishe to finally meet you," Penny Whistle said, smiling, seated behind the desk with her husband. The copper colored pegasus had a long, flowing, bright green mane, and would have been considered attractive by just about anypony's standards... save for the gap in her front teeth, and the lisp that caused her to whistle through that gap like a tea kettle whenever she made an 's' sound. Still, that aside, she had a lovely voice...

"Indeed," Blue Blazes added, with a curt nod. "Young Cobalt was quite distressed that you might never be found." The count, a blue on blue Crystal Pony, pulled apart a crust of bread, and fed it to the bird nesting in his beard. It really was an impressive beard, especially for somepony in his thirties. From what Howe had told her, the count had developed a fondness for birds, and the raven that had taken residence in his beard had become an unofficial member of the family since the day that it had flown in the face of an assassin, all scratching talons and furiously pecking beak, and saved the count's life.

Looking over Aphid with concern, Penny couldn't help but notice, "Dear, you are sho thin. Are you alright?"

Ah, that. "I'll be okay," Aphid said, smiling. "I wasn't allowed much exercise in the cage, nor was I given much opportunity to feed, so I'm afraid I've lost a little weight. I'm sure I'll gain it back soon enough."

Nodding amiably, Count Blue said, "Perfectly understandable. You'll have plenty of time for exercise, and I am given to understand that love is free and abundant here in the Crystal Empire, so you'll not want for 'food'. We won't expect you to do any heavy lifting until you're back in proper shape."

Giving a small bow, Aphid said, "Thank you, you are most kind."

Clearing his throat, the count asked, "Penny, Howe and I need to have a word in private. Would you mind showing Miss Aphid to her quarters? I'll send Howe along to pick her up and give her the grand tour once we're done speaking."

With a smile and a nod, Penny Whistle said, "Of courshe, shweetheart. I don't mind at all."
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Once they were alone, Count Blue asked, "Do you know why I keep you as head butler, Howe?"

Completely deadpan, Howe replied, "Because the only other applicant for the job was a trained ape, and he did not look nearly so smart in a suit, sir?"

With a big laugh, Count Blue said, "That, and because you've managed to bring in some very effective, if somewhat unusual, help. In less than three moons, the four you brought in with you have managed to do more than what twenty times their number could normally accomplish, nevermind your own significant contributions. I'm truly grateful for both you and for them, regardless of their personal eccentricities." Petting the raven nesting in his beard, he added, "Although I am hardly one to talk." His expression turning more serious, the count added, "However, I received a file today, via firemail, directly from the Bureau Of Changeling Affairs, although a noticeable amount of the material is from other departments of law enforcement. I'd like you to take a look at them." The count pulled out a folder from beneath his desk and handed it to Howe.

Howe looked over the files, and frowned. After a moment, he said, "I admit, this is disheartening. None of it, of course, is Miss Aphid's fault, but..."

Chuckling, Count Blue said, "Of course, and I have no problem with her staying here, regardless of all of this: She should be as safe here as she would be if she were sitting in Celestia's lap. I just want you to make certain that the other girls are ready, just in case something comes up. I'll leave it up to you, regarding what details to share, and which to keep secret, but make certain that they know that trouble may come looking for Miss Aphid. And if it does?"

The count's attitude became dreadfully serious, his expression hardened drastically, and Howe was reminded, once again, that regardless of his personal eccentricities, the count had once been known as one of the most feared military commanders in all of Equestrian history.

"It is to be dealt with as harshly as they deem necessary."
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The bed in Aphid's room was heavenly, and she had to admit, Howe was right: It was equal, if not superior, to the bedding that she'd had in the luxury car of the train. After Mrs. Penny Whistle had excused herself, indicating that she needed to take care of a few minor matters elsewhere in the manor, the changeling had not been able to resist the urge to lay back and rest. After all, who know how long Howe might be...

She closed her eyes for a moment, and stretched her aching muscles. Thankfully, while her muscles had atrophied somewhat, she'd been able to flex enough to keep from losing all of her muscle mass, slight though it might have been. Still, it would be a while before she could move again without aching. She opened her eyes...

And saw she was not alone in her room.

The thing in the room with her was pony-shaped, certainly. Beyond that, however, it was hard to tell, given that its entire body was covered in black clothing, topped with one of those hooded garments (A 'hoodie'? Was that the right word for it?) that seemed so popular in some of the places she'd seen on the road. However, she could see its eyes, like bright red circles, and a white crescent slash of a smile. She could see nothing else beyond them...

Whatever it was, it was watching her with interest. After a moment, it tilted its head to one side and spoke. In a surprisingly musical voice, it asked, "So, you're the new girl, huh?"

Fighting back the urge to scream, Aphid nodded. She did not trust herself to speak right now...

With a chuckle, the apparition said, "Welcome to Mason de Bleu, or as I like to call it, The House of Blues. My name's Jacquelynn. I'm one of the maids. Nice to meet you." It, or rather she, by the sound of it, extended a hoof.

With a little trepidation, Aphid took the hoof and shook it. "Aphid," she said, tremulously. The hoof felt surprisingly solid, and warm, implying that, whatever Jacquelynn was, it wasn't a ghost, or a vampire. At least, Aphid hoped that was the case...

With a giggle, Jacquelynn released her hoof and said, "Oh, don't be scared, Aphid. I won't bite. Well, I could bite, if that would make you feel more comfortable?" After Aphid shook her head, the visitor said, "Well, you never know what others might be into. Anyways, do me a favor and blink, please."

In spite of herself, Aphid blinked, and upon reopening her eyes, realized that Jacquelynn had vanished. From beside her, she heard the apparition say, "Thanks."

Turning over, she saw that Jacquelynn was now laying upon the bed beside her, with her hood down (How had she done that? Aphid hadn't even felt the bed tremble from the weight of a second individual suddenly coming onto it...). And she was... gorgeous. A pale white coat that was practically luminous, with long, luxurious black hair, topped with a frilly maid's headpiece, she had a face that might have belonged to a movie star, or a model. An unicorn with beauty to make the princesses green with envy... creepiness aside, why was she working here as a maid?

Looking back at Aphid with scarlet eyes and a massive grin, Jacquelynn said, "Now, now, don't freak out. If you get all flustered over little stuff like that, you won't last a week. I just wanted to slip in and say hi to my new neighbor. My room is the first one over on the right. Feel free to visit any time after work is done for the day. We can have a little girl talk." Her smile widening, she added, "Oh, and a bit of advice: When you meet Lapis, be careful what you say, she is so literal it's obscene. Rhongomyniad has a sharp tongue, although she's got a good heart, once you get to know her. Just don't touch her spear: It drives her up the wall. Oh, and when you meet Glace, be ready to be hugged like you've never been hugged before."

Stretching, Jacquelynn added, "Well, I should be off: Howe will be here soon, and I don't want him to see me until I give him his welcome back present." With a smile, she asked, "Could you blink for me again?"

Aphid, confused, asked, "What happens if I don't?"

Rolling her eyes and sighing, Jacquelynn answered, "Then I'll have to climb out of bed, walk across the room, and leave through the door. I can do that, but it's kind of awkward. It's much, much more fun if I just vanish when you're not looking." Pouting, with her hooves together in a begging posture, she asked, "Would you please blink for me?"

No one that pretty should be able to make herself look so sad. Even if she was not into females, Aphid could not deny such an imploring look. "Fine," she said, then blinked. When she opened her eyes, Jacquelynn was gone... and in her place was a note with the words 'Thank you' written on it in fine, practically calligraphy-level, script.

After looking around the room to make certain she was alone, Aphid sighed, then sat up. She heard hoofsteps down the hallway, marking Howe's approach. After a meeting like that last one, she desperately hoped that would be the weirdest thing that would happen to her today... but she had a sneaking suspicion that it would not.

Next Chapter: Dragon? Griffin? Pony? Estimated time remaining: 19 Minutes
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