I was busy downing shots when Wisp sat down next to me. “I heard what happened.” She said softly, pouring herself a whiskey. I just downed another shot. I didn't want to talk. “Blood, talk to me. Please. It wasn't your fault. It was a whole world away, you couldn't have done anything.”

“I should have.” I spat. “I could have. It's my fault.”

“Blood. No. It is not your fault.” She said firmly.

I looked away and downed another shot of rum, “My fault. I should have...should have done...something!” I started crying, “It’s all my fault! All those people dead! Because of me!”

“Okay...I think you’ve drunk enough.” Wisp tried to take my bottle but I shoved her away.

“Piss off! What the hell do you care anyway?! You don’t even know me!” I yelled.

She sighed, “This is why I don’t like dealing with drunks.”

“I’m not drunk!” I shouted, sowing another shot. “You’re drunk! Stupid...th...b...person!”

She groaned, “You’re totally hammered, aren’t you?”

“Go away!”

“Blood, I’m not leaving you alone like this.” She said, pouring herself some juice.

I laughed, “You’re fucking wonderful, you fucking know that, you absolute, bloody brilliant, mate!” I downed another shot.

“You’re going to hate yourself tomorrow, you know that? Just...try to take it slower. Maybe have a glass of water?”

“No!” I grabbed the bottle and drank about half of it before setting it back down with a giggle.

Wisp brought her head down into her hooves, “Oh, sweet Jesus, you’re completely fucked. How much have you drunk?” She looked around and spotted the...seven? Five? The six bottles I’d already finished. “You’ve already drunk three bottles?!”

“So what?! I can take it!”

“Yes, you’re doing such a good job, clearly.” She said dryly.

“I know I am!

“You’re slurring so bad I can barely understand you!” She groaned.

“I love you too, Wispy!” I cheered.

“Oh, bugger it, give me that bottle.” She grabbed the bottle and chugged the rest of it. “That’s good shit!”

We danced to the band’s music laughing and crying. “I fucking love this!” I shouted.

“I wish I had tits!” Wisp giggled in my ear.

“But you know what, mate?” I asked.

“What?”

“This is fun.”

I downed another shot, tears pouring down my face, “And she dumped me right there! She said I was pathetic and useless! She never even cared about me!”

“That bitch! I’m...I’m going to...I’m going to shove my horn up her ass!” Wisp growled.

“Thanks, mate, you’re a real fucking friend!”

“You what else, Blood? I fucking love...Hang on.” She turned her head and threw up.

“Rocket!” I yelled and slid him a shot. “Bottoms up!”

“This stuff won't even get me buzzed!” The raccoon boasted.

I grinned. Oh, it was on. “Really now? In that case how about a little competition?”

He downed the shot, “You’re on!”

“And what was I supposed to do, take that shit?! She made it sound like she could send me home! The fuck was I meant to do, yeah?!”

“I am Groot.” Groot nodded. Then he poked me in the heart and said gently, “I am Groot.”

I teared up, “Thanks, Groot! You know just what to say to a guy!”

“I am Groot.”

“There we were, surrounded by Royal Guards, there must have been...like, fucking thirty, yeah? And Ritual was like, not taking their shit, insulting them, and I just decided, fuck it and threw her at them!” I giggled. “She let loose this spell and about twenty of them just...exploded! Then we just...fucking legged it into the forest!”

“You were fucking mental!” Wisp laughed.

“You know it!”

“So there I was, in bed with two beautiful mares then the local warlord bursts in! Turns out that they were his daughters and I had to jump out a window to escape his swords! The a week later, I went back and stole his toilet. He ended up shitting in a bush!”

“Then I chopped his head off and freed the child slaves!” I shouted, “Then after they’d escaped Celestia showed up and I threw his head at her!”

“No!” Wisp laughed hysterically.

“Then Ritual came up behind her and…” I burst out laughing, “She threw a spear, but it...it got turned around and...the pole went inside Celestia’s arse!”

“So this big Minotaur bastard came up to me, axe and all,” Wisp said, “You know after I’d finished fucking his son and eating out his wife, at the same time, like you do, and screams at me, calling me a whore and some shit.”

“Would slut have been more appropriate?” I giggled.

“True! So there he is, ace in hand, screaming at me, when one of these Diamond Dogs comes up smacks him on the back of head with a club, knocking him out before politely asking if he could stick his cock in my ass!” We burst out laughing, “Of course I said yes, and kept him around for a few years as a good toy!”

“Scarab!” I shouted as Wisp passed out, “You got any stories?!”

“Um, no, Mr Blood, sir.” He said quietly.

“Just call me Blood, buddy!” I laughed, finishing off my...ninth? Ninth bottle of rum.

I staggered through the halls, Wisp over my shoulder. “I can walk just fine, Blood.” She complained.

I chuckled, “Nope.”

“Where are you taking me anyway?”

I kicked open the door to my room. “My bed.” I giggled.

She blushed, “Your bed? Moving a bit fast, aren’t you we just need the other-“ She let out a little scream as I tossed her onto the bed. “That was mean.” She pouted.

I chuckled, “I like you, Wisp. You’re a good person.”

“Thanks, Blood. It wasn’t your fault. You know that, right? You can’t be responsible for things a world away.”

I sighed, “I know. I just...I wish I’d been there. That I’d saved them.”

She was quiet for a minute. “We can’t save everyone, Blood. Not all the time.”

“I know.” I stripped down to my underwear and flopped onto the bed, next to Wisp, whose face was as red as a tomato.”

“Night, Wispy.”

“Wait...what?” She said, looking extremely confused.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, this is just a short chapter to help get me back in the swing of things.

I just realised. Blood basically drunk dialled Rocket...

Also, the reason the story was jumpy with no lines was to try and simulate the feeling of disorientation that comes with being drunk.