Well, this last month has been batshit insane…

After brainstorming with Ribbon, we had deduced that somehow, after I was in her dream, I was connected to the Hive Mind. It was fun seeing her try to comprehend the internet, and yes, I kept her away from the darker side of it.

I had gotten the hang of my magic, and was now capable of using the spells Twilight had taught me with little to no setup. Me and Ribbon had also gotten the members of the Legion of Exiles, hooked up with some goods. Me and Tavish managed to build a makeshift rocket launcher. (Nitroglycerin with a gunpowder propellant). Tavish had also gotten his battleaxe improved, making it lighter and sharper. Snowflake was the kinda pony who would just beat you dead with his own whooves. Vinyl got a large claymore, which she claimed was 'gnarly'. Lyra, she had only ever used a small dagger, and seemed to CQC on the same level as Solid Snake. Ribbon, she finally got the gauntlets done, and now had a weapon at the literal tip of her hoof. She had also made herself a crossbow. Unfortunately, my hammer was still unfinished, as Ribbon had yet to shed again.

Grabbing a cup of coffee, I went over this last months insanity in my head.

The Mare Do Well incident was entertaining, especially when I got to watch Rainbows ego shatter.

Now, when Twilight and co. went to Canterlot to meet with Rarity, I later found out that Pinkie finally got to host a kegger… Yes, I explained what a kegger was to her, as well as raves and frat parties…

You know whats funny? I scared a dragon… even if it was a greed fueled Spike and I hadn't had my coffee yet. of course, when he finally shrunk, I went back to sleep, having been exhausted from so much raging.

Still, when Granny Smith went loco making Zap Apple jam, I couldn't help but pull a Soldier and start screaming at jars like they were new recruits… What? I can be crazy when I want to.

When Pinkie had to babysit the Cake twins, the only bit of advice I had was to get them hyped up on sugar, and wait for them to crash… It backfired, horribly.

So when the Hearths Warming Eve came around, I actually slept through the whole thing.

Applejack went to the Equestrian Rodeo in Canterlot, but not before Derpy happened. another one I slept through.

Then these two con artists named Flim and Flam showed up on some bizarre machine that was essentially a car... that made cider. Logic. It is dead. Anyway, they were dumb enough to turn off the quality control, and the result tasted like piss.

I know Rainbow is accident prone, but she managed to land herself in the hospital, where she was bored out of her mind. Apparently they had pony version of Indiana Jones, and Rainbow got hooked on it... I had camped out by the window, knowing she was going to call herself an egghead, and when she did, I shouted 'NEEEERD!' For the lolz.

When the Crusaders managed to make a goddamn love potion, and hook up Big Mac and Cherilee using it, direct intervention was necessary. After I put both of them to sleep with the spell I got fruom Twilight, she beat me to giving them major chewing out.

I didnt ever bother trying to understand what happened between Pinkie and this donkey named Cranky Doodle, and just went back to sleep. Ribbon seemed to eat up her story, though she may have been actually eating seeing as Pinkie left QUIETLY. .

When Fluttershy went Alpha Bitch, well that got reaaaal weird... She kept hitting on me... DO NOT WANT. Lets just say afterwards I went Drill Sergeant Nasty on that minotores ass.

Now when I walked in on two Twilights, strangely, the first thing that came to my mind wasn't 'changelings' it was 'stable time loop' THAT took a bit of explaining, but I think I saved Twilight a whole lot of trouble.

The dragon migration was a shitstorm... Spike ran away to discover his true self, and I had to try and keep Twilight from ripping the place apart trying to find him. Ranting, so much ranting. At least Spike got a pet phoenix.

I heard from Twilight that I slept though the part where Pegasuses created a tornado. Yes, I can sleep that deeply at times.

Now when I heard from Scoots that her and the Crusaders were part of their school newspaper. The first two things I suggested was to look at things from the most absurd view possible, and the other was recounting their Crusading adventures. They did the first one, and in a typical Crusader fashion, failed so epicly it became a win. I'm serious, the first thing they did was meta their own column.

And just a few days ago, Pinkie made a bigass cake, and somehow shanghied Big Mac into helping her get it onto a train. Considering Pinkie was involved, I promptly fell asleep to preserve my sanity.

We had another LoE meeting today, and Tavish seemed happy, and I don't mean the 'I'm so drunk everything is funny' happy, holding a piece of mail as if it was the most wonderful thing.

"Get a load of this yah wee lads, ol' Shiny finally got himself hooked up, and the weddings happening... TOMORROW!?" What.

"Why such short notice?"

Lyra grabbed the message. "Says here the lack of forward was for security reasons, as several threatening letters have been found all over the castle." I turn to Ribbon, alarmed.

"Shit, Ribbon, you think it's her?" Ribbon nods, slowly.

"P-possible, Chrysalis is lazy in her planning and likes to be the f-first, so she could be there without her army or have it just o-outside. Plus she's a massive show off and this is a big s-stage."

Vinyl raises her hoof. "We're gonna have to look after the Bearers, aren't we?" Everyone there nods in agreement. After about an hour of debate, we reached a decision.

"Alright, here's the plan, me and Ribbon are going to keep an eye on Twilight, as shes more than likely going to be their first target. Snowflake, you're with Rainbow, she isn't going to stay put for long, so don't lose sight of her. Lyra, you're with Pinkie, I doubt anyone else could put up with her chattering. Tavish, you're with Applejack, try not to get too drunk. And Courage, you're with Fluttershy and Gary, the three of you will more then likely go unnoticed, and I believe you can handle the ones that do notice you. And Vinyl, that leaves you keeping an eye on the Crusaders, Chrysalis will more than likely try to get at Rarity and Applejack through them. Remember who you're watching, and be at the station first thing in the morning, okay?" They all nod. "Well then, see you tomorrow. " they redisguise, and funnel out the door.

"You do realize Chrysalis will see right through your disguise right?" I nod.

"That's why I'm gonna do the shadow thing, and hide in your shadow. I'm physically impossible to notice unless you actually see me enter the shadow." I decide to see if there is something on Ribbon's mind. "I can tell you want to ask me something..."

"Why you?" She seems to shake her head in frustration. "I mean, why would the Nightmare use you as a host, when it could have chose somepony with goals similar to its own? It makes no sense whatsoever!"

"That... Is actually something I have no clue about either, perhaps the Nightmare was merely a cog in an even more powerful beings plans?" Can't brain, think tired. Snuggling up against Ribbon, I drift off to into a dreamless sleep...