The plane's engines roared heavily, the few soldiers left from the war seated on benches on either side, either sleeping or talking to one another. Among these soldiers was Andrew 'Andy' Colby, recently divorced by his wife before the war. He was asleep, but he could hear the voices of others, including those of his wife, pounding at his mind.

"Thank fuck this is over ..."

"ANDREW COLBY YOU MONSTER ..."

He awoke with a gasp, his eyes jumped open. He was sweating, and some other soldiers looked at him.

"You alright, kid?"

"Yeah ... Just my fucking wife, the bitch left me ..."

"Cry me a river, pussy."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Around another four hours passed, and the soldiers could feel the rumble of the plane's wheels touching the concrete runway.

"She's over, boys! We're getting shit-faced tonight!" one said, along with a cheer from the surrounding soldiers.

As the soldiers unloaded themselves from the plane, cheers came from a crowd of people. The soldiers gave waves, but Andy just walked down the pathway. One of the army generals stopped him, "Andrew, you ain't gonna leave without saying thank you to the people are you? You should be proud you survived."

"I may be proud, but the killing of innocent people is dishonoring enough. My pride was crushed during that war, and you tell me to be proud? I wouldn't see it in a million years, I'm fucking going home." Andy snapped, shoving him out of the way, walking towards the exit of the base. "See ya." he waved to the guard in the toll booth.

"Taxi!" he yelled, motioning for the yellow cabby to come his way, which it did.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As Andrew thanked and closed the Taxi's door, he stared at his home idly. The lights were all out, and his car was still in the driveway. He sighed, walking up to the doors. "Time to see what's on ..." he said, opening the door after inserting the key.

The home was cold after leaving it for so many months, so he started a fire. He sat down on the couch, and then he head something crash upstairs, so he quickly withdrew his combat knife, "Who's there?" he asked. He investigated where the origin of the sound was, and it was a metal pot in the kitchen that fell down. "War insomnia. Can't let it get to me." he said, sitting back down on the sofa, turning on the TV. He laid his legs down on the couch as he watched NASCAR.

Andrew was a young man, he wore urban cargo pants, along with a white T-shirt that showed off his muscles. Since he was in the army, his training bulked him up. He grew a smile as his favorite car raced passed the finishing line.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew fell asleep on the couch, snoring loudly. It was 3:36 AM now. He woke up to find his front door wide open. He snapped to attention, but before he could clearly render the situation, an elbow struck him in the chest, "Stay down." the deep voice demanded. Andrew decided to fake him by nodding, and the intruder turned his back. Andrew slowly and silently took off his belt, held it by both ends, walked behind the intruder who was picking up things and putting them in a bag, and wrapped the belt around his neck, and pulled hard on both ends, causing the intruder to choke and gasp for air. When he was finally out of breath, Andrew laid the thief down, who passed out. Andy proceeded to throw the intruder from the front door, who landed in a puddle of mud. He locked the door, "And stay out!"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Andy marched angrily up to his bedroom, which was warm from the fire's heat that spread throughout the home. He fell asleep quickly after collapsing onto his bed.

He awoke after 7 long hours of sleep. His phone was ringing, so he answered, "Hi whats up yeah hello?" he said tiredly.

"Andy! You're being called back for another war overseas. You're still in the army." the general said over the phone.

"Yeah well I'm resigning, I can't take another war. Remove my status as Major General, I don't care ..." Andy replied.

"You sure?" the general asked.

"Of course I'm fucking sure, I don't want to be traumatized a second time. I'm resigning and that's final." Andy demanded.

"Whatever you say."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It was evening now. Andrew had a couple friends over, and they were all drinking Pepsi and watching football together. Andy heard his doorbell ring, "It's the pizza, guys!" he said. He walked over to the door, and the kid delivering must have been in his teen years.

"Here's your pizza, sir. That'll be $21.55" he said.

"Keep the change." Andy said, handing him a 50$ bill, taking the pizza from he teenager's hands.

"Thanks. Have a good night." the teen replied, walking back to his red scooter.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After some goodbyes, Andrew's friends left, and Andy headed to his computer. He found a note on the desk. "Hmm?" he wondered, looking down at the note.

Dear Andrew;

This is Julie. I left this here in case you lived through the war. Me and Stacy left. If you don't get this, I don't care.

-Julie

Andrew was hurt. His wife didn't care if he died. He held the note close to his chest. He was engulfed in anger, "FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!" he drew out his pistol and shot the note. A tear dripped from his eyes. "I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING ... AND YOU LEAVE ME!!?!??!? YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!" he yelled so loud that a drill sargent would recoil if he heard it. He slammed his fist down on the desk so hard that it turned on the monitor of the computer, revealing an image of Julie. He looked at it with anger, and ripped the monitor from it's plugs, and threw it at the window, which shattered, giving way to the momentum of the throw of the monitor. The monitor plummeted and broke when it hit the ground. Andrew just slid down the extra layer of glass and wood, covering the damage, and jumped into bed, turning on the smaller-screened TV.

As the half-angry Andrew laid in bed, he watched NASCAR, or what was left of the four-hour special. He sighed and turned off the TV, and what happened next surprised him; he heard a loudspeaker come over.

"Andrew Colby! We know you're in there! Come out with your hands up!"

"What the fuck?" he asked, surprised. He looked out of the window, and two- no- three S.W.A.T vans were parked outside his house, with FBI troops at his door.

"I repeat! If you do not come out, we will breach!"

He looked back, and thought hard. "What to do ..." he asked aloud. He stuck his head out from his window, "'The hell do you guys want!? I'M TRYING TO TAKE A PISS HERE!"

"You're under arrest."

"For what?!"

"Attempted murder."

"ON WHO!?!?" Andy remembered the thief. "Did he say he had a belt around his neck?"

"Yes."

"The fucker broke into my house and tried to rob me of my shit! It was self-defense!"

"Okay enough horsing around, go in and get him, boys."

Andrew's door burst open, and he could hear the footsteps. Just then, a blinding light shone in the room Andrew was in, upstairs. "The fuck?" he said. The light was engulfing him now. "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" he yelled. He saw the door to the room he was in burst open, followed by a gasp from the FBI troops.

Zap-BOOM!.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew yelled and screamed as the fibers of space ripped open before his eyes, transporting him through what he guessed was some sort of lucky inter-dimensional transport that saved his ass, but no. He was wrong.

He saw the ground of a planet that looked much like Earth as he was plummeting downwards through the night sky, falling towards his doom. His life flashed before him, and he prayed to god that he'd live. His vision faded into pure darkness as the terminal velocity increased, and he passed out.

"FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?!??!" Andrew awoke, thrashing around and yelling. He rubbed his head as he stood up. "Where the fuu..." he asked idly, rubbing his head. He was in the middle of a dirt path, surrounded by a lusciously unrealistic line of trees, and he had a bruise on the side of his body. "Fuck this hurts ... But wait ... Light, teleportation ... Wha?" he wondered. He looked at his surroundings and laughed nervously. "This has to be some kind of joke." he said, until the breeze passed his face.

Fresh.

Crisp.

Clean.

Air.

He snapped to attention. "WHAT THE FUCK!!?" he yelled, drawing his combat knife. He calmed down quickly. "I don't know where I am. Okay. I also don't know what kind of sick joke this is. I could be hours or minutes away from the nearest town and not even know it! Or I could be in the middle of fucking nowhere! But how in the fuck should I know that because I'M FUCKING LOST!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled once again. "Okay I gotta seriously calm down ..." he said, sitting down. "Alright. I already know that I'm lost, in a forest, don't know how I got here, I remember a bright light, whoosh, I was falling, and now ... I'm here." he counted off events from each of his fingers.

"But I don't know where here is." he said to himself, scratching his head. "May as well either stay here or go north ... Which ever direction north is ... Isn't that a rule? If you're lost, head north? I don't fuckin' know." he said, tossing a stick into the bush. He rubbed his head again, "I shouldn't sit here and wait. Not like anybody's gonna come and rescue me." he said, stretching as he go up, wincing at his bruise. "How hard did I ... Wait ... If I reached terminal velocity, my bones would have crushed on impact when I hit the ground. Either I was abducted by aliens, this is a dream, or some kinda' sorcery." he wondered his decisions aloud.

Andrew attempted to peer into the thick foliage that surrounded the path, but came to no avail, seeing as far as at least twenty feet. "Hmm. Unoccupied forest, unusual ... But whatever ... How I get out is the only thing I need to worry about I guess, so I'll see which direction is north." he said, scanning the trees. They seemed to be ... 'Cartooned' ... In a way that made this all the more less believable the situation he is in is.

Andrew laughed to himself nervously, "This is too unrealistic ... Obviously a dream ..." he pinched himself. Harder than he intended to. "FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!" he yelled. "Not a dream ... 'The fuck?!!" he yelled. He looked up to see that the trees were apple trees. "Humph." he said, pulling one apple off, taking a bite. "Mm. Not like the ones back home. Eh, best fresh and cold I guess." he said. "Man I'm starving ..."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

6:59 PM

AppleJack, the orange farmpony at Sweet Apple Acres, was doing her job, out in the fields, bucking apple trees. Big Macintosh wasn't too far from her, doing the same. "Hey Big Macintosh! Ah'm gonna go take this here apple wagon back to the barn to load er' off, alright?!" she called out.

"Eeyup!" her brother called back.

As AppleJack crossed the apple fields, she heard a distant yet close humming. "What's this? Big Macintosh shouldn't be this far ahead already. We ain't got nopony else ta' help us, Ah don't think ..?" AppleJack thought aloud.

Crunch.

AppleJack recognized this sound as the all-too familiar sound of an apple being eaten. This made her angry. She unlatched herself from the wagon full of apples and softly dropped it to the ground. Her family's hard work and dedication being plucked off of the trees they grew on ... One at a time ... AppleJack was enraged. She stomped angrily towards the sound.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew was eating apple by apple, up to three now. "These are delicious ..." he thought aloud. Even though they were simple fruits, he enjoyed how fresh, cool, succulent and crisp they were. He enjoyed every last bit of the apples. He then heard the faint clip-clop of hooves, and a very distant kicking noise. He hid behind a tree, drawing his combat knife, munching on an apple. 'If it's a person, it'll be fine. If it's a stray horse, eh, it'll be fine as well.' he thought to himself.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

34 minutes later, 7:33 PM.

AppleJack finally reached the source of the sound. She saw a half-eaten apple roll out into the open from behind a tree. The sudden stop concerned AppleJack, who calmed down. "Hello? Anypony there?" she asked curiously.

A voice returned, "Yeah, I'm here." the voice was deep. She couldn't see who said it.

"Where are ya' sugarcube? Ya' mind not eatin' my darn apple fields either?!" she angrily asked.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't know that this was your apple field." the voice came back.

"Come out." she demanded, unamused.

"Alright I'll come out."

"Well ... Get yer' dang flank out here!" she angrily demanded.

The creature that made the voice stepped out, and AppleJack gasped and fell on her flank. She definitely didn't know what to think of him.

"What in the hay are you?!" she asked, dumbfounded. The creature fell over laughing as soon as it saw her. "What? Y'all think Ah'm funny er' sumthin?!"

The creature stopped laughing, "I'm ... Talking ... To a miniscule, talking ... Cowboy-hat-wearing HORSE!" and it burst out laughing again.

"Will y'all calm the buck down!?" AppleJack asked.

"O-kay o-okay fine ..." the creature let out a sigh as it stood up. "I'll answer your question. I'm a human."

"Ah hu-what?"

"A human!"

"Ah human? Ah've never heard of such ah thing." AppleJack was confused.

"I've never seen a horse like you before." the creature giggled.

"Ah'm a pony. Not ah horse. Ah pony." AppleJack facehoofed.

"Well that makes sense ... You're smaller than a horse ..." the human said.

"What? Are ponies different from where you're from?" AppleJack asked.

"Yeah, for one they don't have tattoos on their ... Flanks ... They don't wear hats, they don't put their hair in a pony-tail, and overall, they can't talk ... Have I been drugged?!" the human asked worriedly. He pointed an accusing finger at AppleJack, "You're not real!" he said.

"Sugarcube, Ah'm real alright." she said, taking his finger with her hoof. The human looked surprised. It looked like it's mind broke or something. "You alright there?"

"One question ..."

"Shoot."

"WHERE IN THE FLYING FUCK AM I!?!?!?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Calm down, sugarcube!" AppleJack put a hoof on the curled-up human, who seemed to be going insane. "What's gotten into ya?!" she asked.

"I AM TALKING TO A HORSE, AND IT'S NOT A DREAM!!!" it exclaimed, making AppleJack jump.

AppleJack took both hooves, one to one side of the human's face, one a little far from the other side, and slapped it in the face with her hoof, snapping the sense back into the human.

"... If you weren't a lady, I would have cut off your tail." the human said, standing up. "Alright ... Where am I?"

"You're in mah families' Sweet Apple Acres." AppleJack replied.

"Sorry, I didn't know this was your property."

"No, no, it's fine sugarcube, Ah was just worried when Ah saw y'all gettin' crazy right there." AppleJack replied.

"I was just confused. Where exactly am I?" the human asked.

"Y'all are in Equestria."

"Equestria? What ..."

"Equestria. Are you not from 'round here?" AppleJack asked.

"Of course not. I saw the fibers of space and time rip before my eyes as I plummeted to my doom, or ... Here." he looked at AppleJack. "What is your name?"

"Oh, well Ah haven't properly introduced mahself, sorry! Ah'm AppleJack!" she shook his hand with her hoof. "Whats yer' name?"

"Andrew, please, call me Andy." Andy replied.

"Y'all got a nice name there, Andy." AppleJack complimented. She noticed the black leather strap by his side, holding some foreign object. She pointed to it, "What's that thing?" she asked.

Andrew looked down. "Oh, that? It's a gun."

"A gun?"

"Yeah. A gun."

"What the buck is a gun?"

"Let me show you. Don't be scared, this will be loud." Andrew revealed the black pistol. "Cover your ears." he said, and AppleJack complied. Andrew squeezed the trigger, firing a bullet into the ground. AppleJack went wide-eyed.

"Oh mah stars! What does that thing do?"

"It's a weapon of self defense back on my planet, AppleJack. Don't worry though, I wouldn't use it on anybody. Here, you can take it." Andrew replied, giving the gun to AppleJack.

"Good idea-" AppleJack was interrupted when a certain lavender unicorn ran to them.

"AppleJack! Did you see the light last night? I casted a spell and I think it wo..." the unicorn gasped as she saw the human.

"Twi', it's fine. He's friendly. His name's Andrew." AppleJack said. Twilight lightened up after this.

"O-ok ... W-well I think h-h-he's the thing that I summoned ..." she said, stuttering.

"You brought me here? Thanks." Andrew said, giving a sincere smile.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Twilight asked.

"He ain't Twilight, and Ah know it. Remember, honesty?" AppleJack shot Twilight a 'You can't say shit about it' look.

"Oh, yeah, sorry ... Forgot ... Well, uh, h-hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle." Twilight introduced. "May I ask why you're thankful I brought you here?" she asked, eyeing him up and down, visually scanning him.

"Well, I was about to be sent to prison for something I didn't do. You saved me, technically. I don't know if what I'm about to do is safe, but I don't care." Andrew lifted Twilight into a friendly hug, which made her blush through her fur. He put her down. "Thanks." he shot her a sincere and soft smile.

"Y-you're welcome." Twilight's face was flushed.

"Your turn, AppleJack. You made her not afraid of me." he giggled.

"Oh no ..!" AppleJack stood up, but she was plucked from the ground, and like Twilight, was given a friendly hug. She blushed too.

"Sorry if I made an awkward moment, just needed to get that outta me. So why are we still here?" Andrew asked. 'Geez, ponies are soft ...' he thought in the back of his mind.

"Oh mah, sorry! Let's get back ta' the farmhouse." AppleJack said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

1 Hour Later ... 8:58 PM

As the trio arrived to the farmhouse, Twilight parted ways with them, then Andrew and AppleJack entered the farmhouse. "Go 'head and make yerself at home." AppleJack said, pointing him upstairs.

"Thanks again, AppleJack." Andrew said. He walked up the stairs to go into a room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * Switching from Third person narrative to First.

As I opened the door, I was deaf and blind to hear the tiny voices inside, but eventually I heard them, and saw 3 little, colorful, cute fillies, who froze in mid-conversation. As soon as they saw me, they went wide-eyed. They defied the laws of physics by literally teleporting, or moving so fast that they made a blur when they moved, straight in front of me. I stepped back. Their eyes were so large ... Jesus.

"OH MAH GOSH WHAT IS IT!?!" the yellow coated one with a red bow in her mane asked.

"COOL!" the orange coated one exclaimed, flapping her wings, which made an adorable buzzing sound.

The third one just stood there in shock.

"Calm down all of you!" I laughed. They stopped talking. "Hi. My name's Andy." I reached a hand out, and they looked confusedly at my hand. The orange coated one nuzzled my hand, and I withdrew. "Er ... What are your names?" I asked.

"Ah'm AppleBloom!" the yellow coated one exclaimed.

"I'm Scootaloo!" the orange coated one said.

"I'm Sweetie Belle." the pale lavender (Possibly white) coated filly introduced.

AppleBloom spoke up, "What are you?" she asked.

"Why I'm a human!" I said. "I met a pony named AppleJack out in the apple orchard when I came here. Any of you know her?" I asked.

The two other fillies aside from AppleBloom exclaimed, "She's her sister!" they pointed at AppleBloom.

"Oh. Relevance in names, I could have understood that in a heartbeat, sorry girls! I'll let you continue with your business." I patted them on their manes, turned back, and a smiling AppleJack was looking at me. I closed the door. "Sweet group of fillies you have there. They're having a slumber party I'm assuming?" I asked.

"Yes. They have one at least eh ... Ah don't know, once every two weeks or so." AppleJack said. "Ah'll show y'all to your room if y'all like." she offered.

"Oh, thanks AppleJack." I said, rubbing her mane. "Jeez, I still haven't a clue why I'm taking this so easily ... I was in a war, I've seen everything ... Up until now." I said. "What shampoo do you use? All of your manes are SO. SOFT!" I exclaimed, rubbing her mane. AppleJack blushed.

"Ah personally use 'Sexy Mane'. Thanks for the compliment, though, darlin'." AppleJack said, shooting me a sultry look. "Why are y'all dressed up like that? Take your clothes off." she gestured for me to take my garments off.

I blushed and giggled, "I don't think that'd be wise." I said.

"Why not? We don't wear clothes ..." AppleJack said.

"Humans have to, it's a law. And we're furthermore exposed than you all, no offence." I said.

"Oh Ah see.So Ah guess you're sayin' your stallionhood would be visible to anypony?" AppleJack asked.

"Well when you put it that way ... Yeah ... Pretty much." I blushed.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that sugarcube, now y'all need ta' get some rest Ah reckon." AppleJack nuzzled me into a room. It had a bed, window, dresser, all the usual stuff.

"No problem. *Yawn* Thanks AppleJack." I said, hopping onto the bed.

"Wait ah second ... We don't have ah guest room ... Ah guess you'll have to share with me." AppleJack blushed, taking her hat off. Her mane was blonde and long, and had a red ribbon that wrapped around it, giving her a pony-tail/braided look. "Are y'all alright with that?" she asked.

"I guess so." I said, stripping to my boxers. I felt awkward, but since AppleJack (Along with every other pony I'd assume) doesn't wear clothes, she just hopped into bed. The bed, thankfully, was enough to hold both of us. I climbed in with her. I guess the feeling of awkwardness was mutual for a while, until me and AppleJack were so tired that she cuddled up with me, putting her hooves around me. She had fallen to sleep. I was still awake, but I soon followed her.

Hope all of you who are reading are enjoying!

As I awoke, I didn't take the time to remember what happened yesterday. I thought it was all a dream, so I got up, not noticing the orange, snoring pony who laid in bed, got dressed, went downstairs, and opened my eyes. "No ..." I said. The memories hit me hard. "I hugged a pony!?!? What the fuck is wrong with me!?!?" I angrily whispered at myself, shamefully. I felt like my dignity and pride as a man just dissolved. "Ugh ..." I said, going down the stairs.

"Sis? 'Sthat you?" a deep, southern-accented male voice asked.

"Uh ... No ..." I replied.

"Get yer' flank down here. Ah don't know who ya are. C'mon." the voice gestured me to come out, and I did. "What the hay ..." the accuser was a large, red, pony. My entire world crashed around me. I fell down the rest of the stairs, smashing my head off of the floor. I gave myself a concussion I think, and I blacked out.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Is he alright, Big Macintosh?" AppleJack asked her brother.

"Ah don't know. Ah've never seen anythin' like this fella' before, sis." Big Macintosh replied.

"Ah don't know if it'll bode well with tha' town but we gotta get him to the hospital. Big Mac, he's ah big fella, so you may need ta' carry 'im in the wagon." AppleJack helped Big Macintosh lift the unconscious human up, and guide him through the door.

"E-e-eyup!" Big Mac was sweating under the weight of a 235 LB 'retired' army troop from another planet, but he managed to get the larger being onto the wagon. The going got easier as he latched himself onto the wagon, and pulled himself along the dirt path to Ponyville. "Sis, Ah still don't know if this's ah good idea ..." Big Mac said.

"He might have a bruise or sumthin'. Ah don't know either, but Ah sure as heck won't let no critter be harmed. Did he bleed or anythin', Big Mac?" AppleJack asked.

"Nnnope."

* * * * * * * * * * *

A small crowd of equines gathered around the human that Big Macintosh carried in his wagon.

"What is it, mommy?"

"I'm not sure."

"Is it ... Okay?"

"Did he died?"

AppleJack and Big Mac received questions like this, but they didn't answer. They just headed straight for the Ponyville Medical Center, where the employees gasped when the human was brought in.

AppleJack explained everything that happened to the employees, and they nodded, rolling out a little more big than usual (for ponies) trolley, where two unicorns levitated the 235 LB human onto, rolling him into a recovery room, where AppleJack and her brother stepped in to check on him.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Ah sure hope he's okay."

"Yeah, me too, sis."

"Hey guys! I saw you two hauling something into the hospital. Making some deliveries here I see?"

"No, Dash, what we delivered is in there, unconscious on the bed."

Andrew awoke softly and calmly, somewhat sorely, but he was conscious. He looked over slowly to see a cyan pony with wings, maroon eyes and a rainbow tail and mane staring at him, wide-eyed.

"What ..." he asked idly and tiredly.

"OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH OMIGOSH ..." the cyan Pegasus held a hoof below her mouth, sputtering out an excited and surprised series of 'OMIGOSH's. "YOU'RE AN ..."

"An alien?" Andrew didn't feel comfortable around these ponies anymore, like he did when he first got here. He felt ashamed when he hugged them. The cyan Pegasus nodded, which he acknowledged, but he was lost in thought. He kinda missed Earth, but then again, that purple unicorn pony did practically save his life ... Sorta ... He didn't realize that the cyan Pegasus was asking him questions, like firing bullets from an assault rifle.

"Hey! Snap out of it! I'm trying to talk to you here!" Andrew snapped out of it after the cyan Pegasus tapped his shoulder with her hoof.

"Unfitting. It's the feeling you get when you don't fit in. I had that feeling ... We were soldiers ... Taking orders from our leader. Fighting for one cause; honor and triumph over another's land. I feel the same way here. Unfitting ... Alone ... Unloved" Andrew rested his head back.

"Whoa ... Are you alright?" the cyan Pegasus asked.

"Yeah ... I'm just confused is all ..." Andrew said, looking back to the Pegasus. "What's your name?"

"Oh, well I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in all of Equestria!" she replied, perking up a bit.

"Flier ... You remind me of the jets I heard overhead during the hellstorm. They'd break the sound barrier every time they took off within a matter of mere minutes, the loud explosions. Your natural colors speak of your personality; tough, loyal, courageous and competitive." Andrew depicted her with ease. "My name is Andrew, please, call me Andy."

"Wow Andy... You sure seem to look like you've had experience with telling a lot about someponies' personality. You seem a bit depressed though, is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes ... No ... Ugh! I'm sorry if I'm dumping my problems onto you, Dash. I just don't have too many people to talk to ... Or should I say didn't." Andy said, sitting up.

"Oh come on, cheer up 'And! Let's go meet Pinkie Pie!" Dash said, pulling Andrew from bed.

"Pinkie Pie ..!?" Andrew burst out laughing in the middle of the hall, holding his sides.

"What's so funny about her name?!" Rainbow asked, starting to sound angry.

The human just laughed more. "P-Hink ....PINKIE PIE!!!!!!! AHAAAA!!" Andrew laughed so hard he shed tears. The laughter disease soon spread to Rainbow Dash, who stared off giggling, then worked her way up to laughing as hard as he did. "Oh ... Ohhh ... It's been so long ... Since I've laughed like that ... That friend of yours sure has an *giggle* ... Interesting name ..." Andrew was starting to like this Rainbow Dash.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Soo, why is her name so funny?" Rainbow Dash asked as the two left the medical center.

Andrew pulled her in close, and whispered something in her ear. Dash grew the biggest knowing grin ever ... And bit her lower lip in a way that signifies she was holding back one of the biggest 'R.O.F.L.O.L's ever.

"You are so dirty!!" Rainbow teased, 'hoofing' Andrew in his shoulder.

Andrew gave her a playful wink. He never realized there was an abundance of ponies cowering in fear, some staring, pupils smaller than the period at the end of this sentence.

"What?! I'm not that ugly, am I? Come on, if you're all scared of me hurting any bo- any PONY, I wouldn't do that if my life depended on it!" he called out. He saw some of the faces lose their fear, which relieved him as he walked through the streets.

"Hold up! Here's Pinkies' bakery!" Rainbow stuck a hoof out, stopping Andrew in his tracks.

"Oh ... It looks like a gingerbread house ... Who am I to judge ..." he muttered under his breath as he entered the shop with Dash.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Pinkie was hopping around the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring. "Just a min-" Pinkie gasped, and froze in midair at what she saw, defying the laws of physics. The creature that stood before her, beside Dashie, was at least three feet taller than she was, and was staring at her in shock.

"How the hell are you doing that?!?!" he pointed an accusing finger at the shocked, mid-areal, flat and long pink-maned pony. He withdrew his finger. "Oops, sorry. Hi. My name's Andrew." he reached an arm out. The mane suddenly ... Inflated ... Like a balloon.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!" she said, taking his hand and shaking it with her hoof for a quick second. "Oh! I've never seen something like you before! You must be new! I have to throw you a party!"

"Thanks but-"

"Ooh! I'll invite everypony in Ponyville! Maybe even Princess Luna and Celestia could come!" Pinkie gasped.

"Sounds nice, bu-"

"I know it's nice-"

"AUGH! Stop interrupting me! ... Sorry ..." Andrew said, with a quick look of withdrawing anger from his facial features. "You almost gave me an aneurysm in my brain ..!" Andy sniffed the air, "Holy crepe ... Your mane ..." he stuck his face almost right into Pinkies mane ... He went wide-eyed, "It smells like fudge and cotton candy. THIS. IS. AWESOME; RAINBOW PONIES ... FUDGE AND COTTON CANDY PER- oh what kind of damn closet am I locking myself into?!!?" he yelled at himself. He groaned in frustration.

"Hey there, silly filly, don't be so maddy-waddy about liking the smell of our manes! *sniff* Hmm ... MMM! I do smell like fudge!"

"Your colors tell that you enjoy cheering others up, and that mark on your hind quarters indicates to me that you enjoy parties, I assume. You seem to be full of energy." Andrew depicted Pinkie Pie. "Sorry for getting mad, I guess."

"It's fine." Pinkie grew a smile. "W-W-WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Rainbow told her he did the same with her. "Ohhhh ..." she oohed in reassurance.

"So, I was thinking about that party. I haven't had a celebration in a while ... That'd be very kind of you ... Thanks Pinkie." Andrew said, giving the energetic pink pony a sincere smile.

"Oh don't worry about it it's the least I can do!" she said, giving Andrew a hug, who blushed.

"Bah!" he exclaimed, surprised by the sudden reaction. He slowly wrapped his arms around Pinkie, and gave her a friendly hug.

"So I guess this means ..."

"A PARTY!!!!!!"

As Andrew awoke, he felt two large bodies beside him. He didn't open his eyes, but he remembered the night before. He opened his eyes, and there were two mares ... By each of his sides ... And he was naked. Andrew went wide-eyed.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew gasped, breathing heavily as he awoke in his bed, back home. "Ponies ... Wha... What?" he questioned, sweating bullets. His breathing calmed. The smaller TV was still on. He seemed to have woken up from a nightmare. "Thank god ..." Andrew said, lying back down. "Heh, I thought ponies were real ... Ha ..." Andrew laughed at himself.

The soldier got up, stretching. It was early in the morning, and he looked out; he saw the highway, and further, he could see the base he worked at. He looked down, and his belt was still on, unalike the nightmare. He sighed in relief, going downstairs. He made himself some sunny-side up eggs and toast, and sat down at the table in the kitchen. Another sigh passed as he ate his breakfast. "Ponies ... Pfft ... What the fuck was I watching ..." he laughed. He turned on the big-screen TV and laid down on the couch, watching the news. "Nothing but politics ... Fuck the news!" he exclaimed, turning to the Food Network. Eeyup, The Food Network. He was watching 'Diners, Drive-ins and Dives'. "Too bad I can't have a FUCKING PULLED PORK SANDWICH! ... Oh wait, there's that restaurant downtown that I think sells them ... Hell, I'll go there for lunch ..." Andrew said, going upstairs. He was trying to forget about the dream, but he couldn't. "It was so realistic ... But why did I dream about ponies?" he questioned. When he got back to his computer room, the note from Julie was still there, along with the computer. He threw the note out, already knowing its contents from the dream. He turned on the computer, went onto YouTube and the first video thumbnail he saw ... Had the ponies from his dream. He went wide-eyed.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "THEY'RE CARTOONS!?!?! FUCKING CARTOONS?!!?!!" he yelled. "No .." he said, clicking on a video.

My Little Pony, My Little Pony ...

Aah, aah, aah ...

My Little Pony!

(I used to wonder what friendship could be,)

My Little Pony!

(Until you all shared its magic with me!)

Big adventure, tonnes of fun, a beautiful heart, faithful and strong,

Sharing kindness, it's an easy feat, and magic makes it all complete!

My Little Pony!

Do you know you're all my very best friends?

"AGH!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!" Andrew fell over. "FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! OW- FUCK!" he yelled, scrambling from the chair. "THE SHOW IS MADE FOR PREPUBESCENT GIRLS!?!? WHY THE FUCK OR HOW OR WHEN THE FUCK WOULD I WATCH SOMETHING OF SUCH MANOR!? MY DIGNITY AS A MAN IS NOW FUCKING GONE! MY PRIDE! AUGH!" he calmed down after his yelling. The episode played out, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the screen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Why ... The fuck ... Did I watch 16 episodes ..." Andrew questioned, standing up. "They're so ... So ... Intriguing and ... C-c-colorful ... AGH! My pride ... Dissolving ... Dignity ... Burning ..." he curled up into a ball on the ground, rocking back and forth. "NO! I WON'T GIVE IN TO WHATEVER SICKENING DISEASE THIS SHOW GIVES OTHER MEN!!" he yelled.

"A SONIC RAINBOOM! SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!"

"NOOO!!!!!!!!!" Andrew groaned. "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEE!!??!!??!!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew was going insane. He paced around his room, shutting the show off from his computer screen. "I won't give in ... I won't give in ... Ever ..." he maniacally laughed. His personality split in two between resistance and giving in, "But how could I? They're so delightful and adorable."

"NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM A MAN, NOT A FUCKING BABY!"

"You say that now. But it shall get to you. You can't resist."

"QUIT SEDUCING ME!!!"

"Seducing? I am not seducing you. I am simply tempting you."

"WELL I WON'T LISTEN! FUCK OFF!"

"Deep down inside you, you know that you want to continue. Don't let your stubborn pride blind you."

"It's not pride ... I'M UPHOLDING MY STATUS AS A MAN, YOU DICK!!!!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Andy, who the fuck are you talking to?" Andrew's friend Thomas looked at him crazily, then noticed the ponies on the screen. "Wow ... You don't look too good. You alright man?" he asked.

"Alright?!?! Y-you ask me if I'm alright!?!? DO I LOOK ALRIGHT TO YOU!?!? GET THE FUCK. OUT!!!!!!!!!!" Andrew yelled, causing Thomas to bolt downstairs, out the door.

"Now look what you did. You scared the daylights out of him. What happened to love and tolerance, Andy?"

"URGH! STOP!"

"Stop what?"

"GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Andrew's mind shattered. He dropped to the ground. "I was a man... WHAT AM I NOW?!?!" he yelled angrily and nervously, submitting to the 'dark side' of manhood.

"You're ... A brony."

A maniacal smile crossed Andy's face, and then turned into a relaxed smile. A new sensation of fulfilling, peace and satisfaction filled the entirety of his body. He was a brony now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After about twelve hours, Andrew was in bed, watching My Little Pony on his laptop. He never got to finish Episode 16, so he did. "WOO! GO RAINBOW DASH!" he exclaimed, as the rainbow-maned pony broke the sound barrier on the screen. A sonic Rainboom. AWESOME!

Andrew said, "I should be awarded like ... The fastest man to become a brony ... Or something like that." Andrew, in the back, very far back, of his mind, still was mad at himself for liking such a show, but 99/100 of him overpowered and crushed his doubt and hatred. He saw a comment on a video;

'TWILIGHT IS BEST PONY!'

He replied, "Nope. Rainbow Dash is best pony. Have you seen the plot on that fine piece of ass!?" he typed and said his reply aloud. "Muah. Rainbow Dash is both best pony and sexiest pony." he blew a kiss, flipped his laptop, and drifted to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As Andrew awoke, his mind was clouded with peace and ponies. "Aah ..." he said, getting up. "Mm. I wish that dream came true now."

The cellphone beside his bed rang. He answered, "Hello?"

"This is General Adams calling. Some trouble stirred up again in the Middle-East. You're in the army." came back a voice.

"General... AHHHHH!!!!!!!" Andy screamed. "NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! NO!" he yelled into the phone.

"CALM DOWN BOY! What the fuck is wrong with you!?!" the older man yelled through the phone.

"I had a nightmare ... I got this call ... Police ... Jail ... Ponies ... Light ... Arghgh..." Andrew fell to the floor, unconscious from shock. A light began engulfing his unconscious form. He opened his eyes, "Whoa ..." and he was entirely engulfed, his entirety disappearing into thin air.

"Ponies? What? Andrew, answer! Andrew! ANDREW!" the General hung up, "DAMMIT!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Okay girls! The spell should bring a living specimen from another planet! Let's hope it's something we -- I can study!" Twilight said to the girls, exhausted.

"Sugarcube, Ah don't think any kinda' spell of yers' is gunna open some sorta' portal to another world." AppleJack sounded serious.

"Knee itch! KNEE ITCH!" Pinkie said, her Pinkie sense tingling. Her front knee began to become irritated, itching. The other girls gasped.

"What does that mean again?" Twilight asked.

"SOMETHING SCARY IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!" Pinkie replied, pupils shrunken to the size of a dime, ducking under a table outside.

A light exploded from the sky. The girls heard a very, very faint yelling whilst they closed their eyes. They finally looked up, and they saw a form falling from the sky, screaming with fear, plummeting towards what seemed to be the Everfree Forest. Although they couldn't exactly see everything since the form was falling from so far away, from what it looked like, to Twilight, the specimen would land not too far into the forest.

"Girls! The specimen will land in the Everfree Forest! Let's go!" Twilight said, rushing ahead.

"Twilight! Wait fer' us!" AppleJack called out, running after her, followed by the others of the Mane Six.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" Andrew screamed. He was too afraid to do or think of anything else. His form went limp at least half a mile before he would impact on the ground. Even though unconscious, he could feel the ground rupture and give way to the 235 Lb. human, shattering the terrain around, causing smoke to rise from the crater.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The girls approached the Everfree Forest, and gasped when they saw smoke rise from the canopy. They went in hesitantly, and eventually found the smoldering crater.

"Twilight! We can't see anything through such thick smoke!" Rarity complained, coughing.

"Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, if you will ..." Twilight gestured the two Pegasi to clear the smoke. The two ponies flapped their wings, causing the smoke to part slowly but steadily.

The form they finally saw was bipedal. The girls gasped, stepping away from the beaten-up creature. "Twi' ... What is it?" AppleJack asked.

"I ... I don't know!" Twilight nervously replied. The creature's features were entirely bipedal in appearance. It had four main appendages and a head, the two upper appendages owning long, flexible fingers. No fur covered the creature except the hair on it's head, and it wore a black, soot-stained white t-shirt, along with baggy, soot-stained forest-camouflage pants. The creature's skin was also soot-stained, somewhat bloody. Rarity, along with Fluttershy shed tears from the sight.

"Is it ... Is it alive?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't know. I'm going to check." Twilight said, hesitantly, curiously and nervously descending into the now calmed from smoke, shallow crater. She investigated the foreign body. She could see it's midsection slowly rise up and down.

It was breathing.

"It's alive! It's breathing! Help me get it out of here!" Twilight nervously but excitedly exclaimed. The other girls hesitantly complied, nervously dragging the being from the crater, onto the ground outside of the forest.

"Cool! An alien!" Rainbow Dash's eyes were dilated with excitement.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew slowly opened his eyes. He groaned in pain, and he heard muffled voices.

"Cool! An alien!"

His eyes slowly moved around, investigating the speakers. He let out a surprised and fearful gasp, followed by his eyes widening. The speakers were ... WERE ... P-p-ponies ... Andrew was entirely speechless. His mouth was clamped shut. He couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. He was absolutely stunned.

"Girls! It's awake!" one of them exclaimed, absolutely scared.

"Oh ... My ... I hope it's okay ..." one added.

"Can it speak our language?" another asked.

"I dunno. Lemme try. Hey! Can you understand us?" the question caught Andrew off guard. He nodded slowly and nervously. "Wow! It can understand Equestrian! AWESOME!!!!" the questioner exclaimed, it's cyan wings unfurling.

Andrew attempted to stand up, but ended up screaming in pain, holding his legs, dropping to the ground, "ARGH!" he screamed, making the ponies jump.

"Oh my, are you ... Are you okay?" a yellow pony asked in a timid yet soft voice.

"Fluttershy, Ah don't think it's okay ... Whatever it is." an orange, stetson-hat wearing pony replied.

Andrew winced in pain, holding his legs. He rolled up his pants, to reveal one thin but long gash on one of his legs, and the other with a seething, red-hot scrape from impact. He was sore all over. His eyes were watering.

"Mah oh mah. You alright there?" the stetson-hat wearing pony asked. Andrew shook his head quickly, 'No'. Blood slowly trickled from both injuries. He gritted his teeth.

"If I was okay ... Urgh ... I'd be able to stand! Which I can't!" Andrew exclaimed painfully.

"I know a place you can stay for now. AppleJack, you wouldn't mind allowing him to stay with you a night?" a lavender unicorn asked AppleJack.

"Ah'd be fine with it, Twilight. Can y'all walk?" AppleJack asked Andrew.

"I personally don't think walking'd be a good idea right now, unless I want these cuts to rip open." he replied, sorely, making Fluttershy cringe.

"What is your name, darling?" Rarity chimed in.

"Andrew. Andrew Colby." Andy replied. "Just call me Andy."

"Alright Andy. Rarity! He looks a bit weighty, I'll need a bit of your levitating powers to get him to AppleJack's house, alright?" she asked another, white unicorn.

"Absolutely." Rarity replied, the two unicorn's horns glowing, lifting Andrew from the ground, carrying him via levitation from the forest path, all the way to Sweet Apple Acres.

"Well, we should all introduce ourselves to him. Hello! I am Twilight Sparkle." Twilight introduced.

"Ah'm AppleJack, please ta' meetcha!" AppleJack followed.

"I am Rarity." the white unicorn added.

"I'm ... Fluttershy." the timid yellow Pegasus stuttered.

"I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in all of Equestria!" the cyan Pegasus exclaimed, beaming, eyes gleaming at Andrew, who went wide-eyed.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! It's super awesome to meet you!" the pink, frizzle-maned pony exclaimed, hopping along.

Andrew smiled. His dream came true, but at a price; pain all over his fucking body. "It's good to meet you all, I guess ... Er ... I'm curious ... Aren't you the least bit frightened of me?" Andrew asked.

"Well, we all were at first. But we learned in our past never to judge a book by it's cover, right girls?" Twilight replied, followed by a collective array of 'yeses' from the other ponies.

"Well, I can judge only one thing; your clothing! It is absolutely horrid! That crash must have left you beaten and dirtied!" Rarity said, levitating off the t-shirt from the being's body, revealing it's muscles.

"Whoa ... Nice muscles!" Rainbow Dash said, eyes gleaming as she laid eyes upon the being's muscles. Rarity was about to pull down it's pants, when the being blushed and grabbed the top of the pants.

"What?" Rarity asked.

"Our species requires to at least always wear clothing. It's not a fashion statement, but sometimes it is, but most times, we're just keeping ourselves concealed. Quadrupeds like you, equines I can only guess, have sheaths and tails to cover your genitals, unalike us, where it would be OPEN. FOR. EVERYBODY. TO SEE." Andrew made his point really clear, and every pony around him blushed.

"Oh ... Darling I am so sorry! I didn't mean to ..." Rarity was cut off by Andrew again,

"It's fine. Don't stress about it. I just didn't want to feel awkward ... Y'know." Andrew interrupted.

"Well, that too, is understandable. I can see why you don't want to be ... Er ... Revealed ..." Twilight said.

"Andrew, if you do not mind, I can take your clothing and wash it if you want." Rarity offered.

"Thanks. I'd be appreciative. Thank you, Rarity." Andrew said.

"Can I ... Feel your muscles?" Rainbow Dash blushed.

"Er ... Well ... Uh ... Erm ... Sure ... If you want to." Andrew replied, blushing as well. Rainbow Dash rubbed a hoof up and down his abs. "Ay! That tickles!" Andrew exclaimed. "Eh .. It'll pass."

"So ... Mind answering a couple questions while we're going to AppleJack's house, Andy?" Twilight asked.

"Not really. Go ahead and ask a few." Andrew replied, not noticing the cyan Pegasus feeling his abs up.

"Well, I want to know where you came from." Twilight asked.

"Oh ... I'm from another planet ... But ... You ponies are nothing like the ponies back on my planet. The ones back home are MUCH bigger than you, weigh like 650 - 1000 Lbs, are much less colorful, ranging from shades of brown to white, black, grey, etc. Not cyan like 'Dash, sometimes orange like AppleJack though, not pink like Pinkie, not yellow like Fluttershy, not lavender like Twilight, some are white like Rarity. And most important, they can't talk or think, make decisions on a scale like you. But they're smart for animals back home." Andrew said.

"Oh my stars! Darling! What ever happened to the ponies where you lived?" Rarity asked, dramatically.

"That's the way they are. They are born that way. Back home, their young are called ponies, and the adults are just horses." Andrew replied.

"Another question. How many of your species are there?" Twilight asked.

"Over seven billion humans on Earth. Estimated to be ten billion in ... Uh ... Seventy-one years from now." Andy replied, making the girls gasp.

"Wow!" Pinkie hopped up and down.

"That's an immense population. How big is your planet?" Twilight asked.

"Lemme see ..." Andrew said, reaching around in his pocket. "Aha," he said, pulling out a thin, black object, which shimmered to life.

"What's that?" Twilight questioned.

"Communication device from home. No service, but I'll show you a picture labeled with some ... I mean a lot ... Of facts about Earth." Andrew said, scrolling to a picture of a large, blue planet. "That's Earth. Now get ready, lots of facts here. There are 7 continents on Earth, along with 196 countries. The distance from Earth to the sun is an estimated ninety-three million, twenty thousand miles. The distance from Earth to it's moon is an estimated two-hundred thirty-eight thousand, eight hundred fifty seven miles. The highest elevated point on Earth is Mt. Everest in Asia, twenty-nine thousand, thirty-five feet above sea level. Earth's age is four point five to four point six billion years. There is 70.8% water on the entire planet compared to 29.2% land. The rotation on axis of Earth is twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes. The revolution around the sun is approximately three-hundred sixty-five days, *Gasp!* the lowest recorded temperature was on the south pole, ranging at minus eighty nine point two degrees celcius, along with the highest recorded temperature was in Al Azizyah, Libya, it was fifty-seven point seven degrees celcius. The lowest point in the oceans would currently be the Challenger Deep, Mariana Trench, Western Pacific Ocean, thirty-five thousand, eight hundred forty feet below sea level. That's all it states." Andrew tossed facts like frag grenades like a noob in Black Ops with Warlord Pro. Rainbow Dash was now licking his abs, but he didn't even pay her any mind.

"That is ... Amazing!" Twilight exclaimed, eyes agleam.

"That's one heck of ah planet you have, Andy." AppleJack followed.

"Wow ..." Pinkie Pie was dumbfounded.

"I can't believe how much facts you have ... It's so amazing ..." Fluttershy looked interested.

"What about you, Rainbow Dash? What do you think? ... Rainbow Dash!" Twilight snapped Rainbow Dash out of her mental stupor.

"Uh ... Sorry, I- I wasn't paying attention." Rainbow blushed, looking up. Andrew's abs were glistening after Rainbow Dash licked them.

"Er ..." Andrew blushed.

"Sorry!" Rainbow apologized. "I just ... Got curious ... Er ... Sorry!"

"It's fine. I guess training in the military paid off. Haha ..." Andrew laughed at his own joke.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Finally, they reached Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight and the others waved goodbye to AppleJack and Andrew as Andrew had his arm on AppleJack, supporting his walking. They entered the farm house, where AppleJack helped him up the stairs, resting him in her bed. "Now y'all need ta' get some rest there, sugarcube. Along with mahself, if y'all don't mind." AppleJack said, climbing into bed with him.

"Not at all. Not at all." Andy replied, somewhat awkwardly.

AppleJack and Andrew quickly fell to sleep, snoring. They slept beside each-other, but ended up snuggling up together. Andrew wrapped his arms around the pony in his sleep somehow, and they slept in an embrace.

My fingers hurt. Meh, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. Check out my other stories!

I personally didn't get much sleep that night. AppleJack kept on thrashing around, but I managed to finally go to sleep. It was rough, but I kept waking up every now and then. I was going to be tired as shit in the morning.

I couldn't tell you how badly I wanted to tap AppleJack's shoulder and say, 'Ay, stop thrashing around!' but then you guys would be like 'YOU ASSHOLE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!!?!' or something along those lines. But eventually, she stopped thrashing, and I got some sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Wake up, there, Andy!" AppleJack shook me to consciousness.

"SIR, YES, SIR!" I said, almost thinking I was back in the lodges at the training facilities on the base. The orange pony looked at me, confused. "Sorry ... I was in the army back home. Normally woke up early to a holler." I said, tiredly standing up. I looked down, "Dammit ... Where the flying hell did my shirt go?" I asked.

"Rarity took it, don't y'all remember?" AppleJack shot me a question as a reply.

"Oh ... Well ... Okay, where is this Rarity?" I asked her.

"She's in Ponyville. Ah don't think the ponyfolk there'd really be too accepting of yer' visit, 'And." AppleJack said, getting her stetson hat. "Well, Ah got a whole days wortha' applebuckin', so Ah'll be in the orchards somewhere if y'all need me, Andy." she said, leaving me in the room.

"Humph." I humphed. "What to do ... I'm in a world full of ponies, who at first sight, will probably be scared the shit out of me ... Like ... Look at me, I'm huge! I'm like a ... Like a ... Fuck, I don't know, a monster to them of some sort! Whatever I do, I cannot go into town. Cannot go into tow ..." I then heard Rainbow Dash loudly knock on the window in the room. I yelped in fear and fell to the floor, "SHIT!" I yelled.

Rainbow Dash laughed at me, and I groaned. "Dash! You scared me, what do you want?" I asked, opening the window. Dash slowly stopped laughing.

"Oh ... Uh ... I wanted to say sorry again about what happened last night ... I ... I-I just couldn't resist." Rainbow apologetically blushed.

"Ah, that's fine. I ain't mad at you for it." I replied.

"You're not?!" she asked, beaming.

"Of course not, Dash! You know, I didn't actually notice you doing that until I broke the onslaught of facts." I said, scratching behind Dash's ear, making her smile.

"Hey! Stop it! T-hat tickles!" she giggled.

"Payback!" I exclaimed, teasingly. I stopped tickling her. I didn't take the time to really analyze the feeling though. But I could only bet out of my mental stupor of laughter, that it was soft. Me and Dash giggled.

Just then, my cellphone began to ring on the table. "What the fuck? I can receive calls, but not make them? The hell?" I asked, picking it up. "It's General Adams!" I exclaimed, answering. "Hello? General?"

"Yes. This is General Adams. We're in your house right now, searched the entire fuckin' place. The wooden floor in one room is burnt in a body-shaped formation though. What the hell happened here? The DNA sample states you were burned somehow. Is this true?" he asked me through the phone.

"Who's that talking to you?" Dash asked.

"Nobody, Dash." I replied.

"Dash? Are you on meth?"

"No. I'm not in the same world anymore, Adams. I can tell you that much, and it is sure as hell better than being back home ... For the moment ..." I said, "But I wish I could explain more. I'm not sure how I got here. Don't even bother searching for me. I relieve myself of duties, with honor, sir." I continued. "Goodbye." I ended, hanging up.

"Well ... That could have gone better." I said, looking at Dash worriedly.

"What could have gone better?" she asked.

"The person who called me was a general in the army I was in back on Earth. He'll have them look for me worldwide I bet. The poor idiots ..." I said, drifting off.

Dash cocked her head at me, "Huh? What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Oh - I - Nothing, sorry, just got carried away in my train of thought for a second. Sorry Dash. I'm just very bored at the time being, is all. I fear that if anybody except you girls sees me in the town, it'll start a panic. I think in good time I'd be able to go to the town." I said, looking at Dash idly.

"Yeah maybe ..." Dash said, staring at my abs again.

"Eyes on the prize, eh?" I teased. Dash blushed and gave a sheepish grin.

*Squee*

"What the fuck was that?!" I exclaimed. "Squee? Who squee, you squee?" I made Dash giggle. I felt good, but bad at the same time. But that was only part of me, screaming; 'THEY'RE PONIES! THEY'RE NOT FUCKING HUMANS! DROP THE BRONY SHIT! DROP IT! DROP IT!' but most of my mind says; 'Gain their trust, friendship and care. Only then, will you be solely accepted into their community. Continue. I am proud of you.' I don't know where that thought came from, but eh, it sounds inspirational.

Dash snapped me out of my mental stupor, "You alright there, Andy?" she teased. "You're losing me!"

"Oh shit - sorry, shit happens, aha ... Well ... What should I ... We ... Do? I am extremely in the need of some source of entertainment." I said.

Dash lit up, "Ooh! I have an idea! You up for it?" she grew a devilish grin.

"Oh Almighty Lord strike me down ..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS DRAGONS!!!!!" I yelled. "I WAS CARRIED THROUGH THIS FOREST FOR BULLSHIT!"

Dash laughed, "No! We're going to do something only the bravest of the brave can do." she said, nudging me to the front of the cave.

The dragon I saw was ... Red ... And immensely colossal. I pulled out my pistol (Thank god it wasn't burned up from the crash!), gulped, and then I gestured her to 'move in'. "You go, I'll stay here with this if shit gets real." I said.

"Okay. What's that thing gonna do to a giant dragon?" Dash asked.

"It's able to hurt it real badly if I aim for it's eyes. I'll leave it at that. Now go. Be careful, though."

Rainbow Dash slowly crept along the walls of the darkened cavern. The main goal was to startle the dragon in this near-suicidal prank. I had a clear shot at the dragon from my position; Right between it's eyes. I was still pretty concerned, 'Okay, I know Dash to be daring and courageous, but this may be pushing it a bit ...' I thought. Alongside that, I was lining up the sights in case something does go down. Dash sneaked up behind the dragon. I lined my gun up, at the ready. "Oh god ..." I muttered quietly.

Rainbow Dash dropped a pebble onto the massive dragon's head, and flew up, out of view. The dragon looked around, confused. Now it was time for my part. I aimed my pistol straight under it's tail, and since there was assurance of no serious danger, I squeezed the trigger, and fucking BOLTED. I could hear the bang. The colossal beast of a dragon yelped in fear, and Rainbow Dash flew out of the cave after me, running after me on her hooves. Wow ... This is so awesome ... Fanboy implosion ..!

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled in triumph and excitement as me and Dash bolted through the thick foliage, laughing our asses off. "I'VE NEVER HAD THIS MUCH FUN IN A WHILE!!!" I yelled again.

Me and Dash eventually reached the treeline, and we sat down for a breather. "Woo... Phew ... Hoo.." I panted.

Dash had her tongue lolling from her maw, on her back, panting wildly as well, since we both ran through at least a mile and a half of forest and foliage. We panted and calmed down tiredly, laughing like children. I was truly enjoying myself for once. I was enjoying the excitement that life gave, regardless of whether it be horrifying dragons or playful puppies. Yeah. Das' right. Playful puppies.

After approximately fifteen minutes, we finally calmed down, but we still breathed a bit heavily. I helped Dash up and set her on my back. Wow ... She ain't heavy at all ... Must be a Pegasus thing ... She couldn't weigh more than around sixty to seventy Lbs, and I've carried two-hundred Lb. luggage on my back. Eh. At least I got sixty pounds of pure hot, sexy, awesome flank on my back ... What?! A guy can have dirty thoughts, so get the fuck out of my mind ..!

I swear to god, if I wasn't in a state of pure euphoria, I would have collapsed as soon as Dash got on my back, because I ain't too good a runner, and running through that much forest, add my running skills, equals PAIN. ON MAXIMUM. LEVELS. Argh! Anyway, Dash told me to walk for a little bit to the North, and we did. Gosh, Rainbow Dash from the show; one thing. From a real-life, in-depth perspective; 200% cooler. Eeyup.

Me and Dash finally arrived along a pathway, and she told me to look up. I did, and I saw her cloud house. "Holy shi ... Cow." I said in awe, "UH! Uh-huh-uh-huh, that's the way, UH-HUH-UH-HUH, I LIKE IT! UH-HUH-UH-HUH, Goldmember! Goldmember!" yes. I used to watch Austin Powers a while before the war started. My favorite was 'Austin Powers in; Goldmember', obviously. I'd be shocked to the bone if any of you know of that movie WITHOUT using Wikipedia. Rainbow Dash, however, just fell over laughing when I did the dance, which lasted three seconds. Yeah, for a grown man, I can be ridiculous. Deal with it, get a sense of humor!

Dash smiled at me before saying, "I guess I'll see you around! I gotta get reading another Daring Do book. They're awesome!" and with that, she took her leave to the majestic but awesome cloudy palace of hers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I didn't know which way to go. I was shirtless, my top half was bare, I was in camouflage fatigues.

(In case you didn't know, I'm 5'11". Kinda tall, I guess.)

I saw the town, Ponyville. I was half excited and half scared; excited because, hell, you know. Scared, because of what their initial reactions to me may be if they were to see me. I heard three little voices behind me on the path, and I froze in place. I didn't even move a muscle. I closed my eyes and stood still as a statue. I calmed my heart rate and breathing.

"Wow! What a cool statue! I ... Don't remember it being here, though ..." a voice said.

"I wonder what it is ..?" another came.

"Ah don't know what it is either, girls. Let's just leave it and move on. Ah'm gonna go home ta' AppleJack." yet another voice came.

Still frozen as a statue, I heard the tiny clip-clop of hooves, and they faded away. I slipped away from my posture, hiding behind a tree. "Too close." I panted nervously. "Too close for comfort." and I bolted off into the field that lay ahead of me, until I couldn't see the town anymore.

I worried if I fucked up; which I probably did, but I wasn't very worried. I was glad to get some fresh air. I sat down in the middle of an open plain, where it was serene. The crisp but warm breeze blew in my hair. I let out a relaxed sigh, and laid down. The grass was moist and warm also; I enjoyed the refreshing texture of the blades of grass against my bare skin. It actually felt soothing.

My relaxation was interrupted, and I was stepped on by a yellow hoof.

I yelped.

"Oh! Andrew, um, I didn't see you there ... Um ... Sorry!" I recognized that timid, adorably soft voice anywhere; why, it was good ol' Fluttershy.

"Urgh ... It's fine, Fluttershy. What are you doing all the way out here?" I asked her.

"Well, I was just looking for a certain type of plant that can't be bought at the markets. Angel Bunny is quite the picky eater, and he wants me to make him something specific." Fluttershy told me.

"Oh. I hope I'm not interrupting." as I stood up, Fluttershy looked intimidated and scared at the site of my toned muscles in the light.

"You look like that Iron Will ... Minotaur ..." she pointed to my abs, a small amount of fear in her expression.

"Okay ... Why does everybody here have something to relate to from my muscles? It makes no. Sense. Like come on, they're not that good, are they? Fluttershy?" after asking this, Fluttershy blushed. "Goddammit." I face-palmed.

"Well, if you want my honest opinion ... They're ... S-scary kind of ..." the timid yellow Pegasus stuttered.

"Does somebody want a hug?" I asked. Fluttershy nodded and I brought her to a friendly embrace, slowly petting her mane. "You okay, Fluttershy?"

"Yeah ... Just ... Iron Will was scary too." Fluttershy looked up at me. Her aqua eyes ... AGHGHGH! MY HEART! FUCK!

"Aw, I won't let the big-scary-monsters hurt you." I cooed, un-teasingly, hugging her closer. I could feel the smile on her face. I was happy. Very happy.

Fluttershy broke the embrace. Goddammit.

"Sorry Andy. I have to go back to Angel Bunny, bye!" Fluttershy said, grabbing the basket filled with the plant she was looking for, supposedly. I didn't know, so I stood up.

"Ugh," Andrew groaned, "I should have followed her back to her cottage. Well, idea's gone. I'll just make with what I got." and after saying that, I took my leave, heading for the very distant farm. I could see the apple orchards, and I could just barely see the top of the farmhouse.

I picked up the pace, and jogged.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Where is he? He has me ah might worried!" AppleJack walked impatiently back-and-forth on the farmhouse porch.

"Who, big sis?" AppleBloom asked, who came out from the farmhouse.

"If he gets back, sugarcube, Ah think you'd like ta' meet the fella. He's ah good guy." AppleJack looked distantly into the apple orchards.

AppleBloom teased, "Is he ah special somepony?"

AppleJack snapped out of her mental stupor, "He is not ah special somepony, AppleBloom! Where in the hay would y'all get such ah idea?" she snapped, looking at her younger sister. She drifted off in thought; "But those huge buckin' muscles ... Mah lord ... He'd make ah fine worker ... And Ah saw 'Dash lickin' on him when we were walkin' to the farm ..." AppleJack grew a half-devilish and laughing grin, then sank into her worried state again, "Gosh darnit'!"

"AppleJack, Ah almost forgot to tell ya! There's sum kinda weird statue thing near the schoolhouse! It's purty' cool! It's tall and it's er ... Half bare, but it wears these foresty-like pants and-" AppleJack hushed her sister.

"Did y'all say 'Foresty-like pants'?" she asked. AppleBloom nodded. "That 'statue' yer' talkin' about is the somepony Ah wanted y'all to meet. He just froze prolly' cause he ain't want ta' scare you or other fillies, sugarcube."

AppleBloom suddenly dropped to the ground, shivering in fear, pupils shrunk.

"AppleBloom, what's gotten into ya- AH! Andy! Y'all can't sneak up on meh and AppleBloom like that! Ya' scared the daylights out of us!" she scolded.

"Whoops ... Sorry AJ. I just saw you and your little sister here in deep conversation, and I didn't want to interrupt." Andrew apologized.

"How'd y'all know she's mah sister?" AppleJack asked, looking at Andrew.

"When I walked by the schoolhouse this afternoon, I encountered her along with two other fillies, and due to her name, I could only guess she's a relative of yours, AJ." Andrew walked onto the porch, looking at the still-shivering AppleBloom, who was plucked from the deck. "Hey, listen here, I wouldn't hurt you. I didn't mean to scare you, sweetheart." Andy said to the squirming yellow filly in his arms, who eventually calmed down and looked at him with gleaming eyes. His hug tightened a bit, then he let her down, rubbing her mane.

AppleBloom was speechless. Her mouth was agape, and she just idly stared at the human, until finally ...

"OH MAH GOSH! OH MAH GOSH! AH WAS HUGGED BY AN ALIEN! YAY!"

Andrew stepped back, as the filly bounced more than Pinkie PIe. "Dayum!" he muttered under his breath, "And I thought Pinkie Pie was to be the 'bouncer' around here." he said aloud, making AppleJack laugh.

"Y'all had meh ah might worried about ya', Andy. Y'all need ta' leave ah note or sumthin' along those lines." AppleJack said, hugging Andrew.

"AppleJack if you, along with any other pony, keep hugging me, I wouldn't be able to leave a note!" Andrew laughed, causing AppleJack to let go of him.

"Ah shucks, y'all could be a comedian or somethin', Ah reckon," she chuckled, "Y'all could visit the Ponyville Community Center! If the town folk meet ya first, that is." AppleJack suggested.

"Not a bad idea, but I'll have to pass for now, until I gain the trust and friendship of every bo- every pony here, I'll make my new career decision, AJ." Andrew replied.

"Ah see. That's purty nice of y'all. And Ah also think we should introduce ya' to the town tomorrow or sumthin'." AppleJack said, heading into the farmhouse. "Ah'm gonna go take ah shower. Could you ... Watch over AppleBloom?" saying this, AppleBloom grinned.

"Sure. I've personally had a liking towards kids, my daughter back home, preferably." Andrew said, lifting up AppleBloom, setting her on his shoulders, who giggled.

"Ah want you to meet mah friends, Andy! Want to, want to?" AppleBloom asked the human impatiently.

"Sure, but I don't know if I could go into Ponyville without anypony being terrified of me. I'm scared I'll start a panic. How about I wait for you and your friends back here at the fa-"

Andrew was interrupted when a large male pony stepped into the doorway, "Git yer' dirty hooves offa' AppleBloom." the deep, southern-accented pony sounded serious.

Immediately complying, he easily rested the yellow filly on the ground.

"Big Macintosh! This is Andrew! AppleJack and her friends met him! Don't worry about him! He's harmless!" AppleBloom reassured Big Mac.

"Oh. Ah thought y'all were gonna hurt mah young sister or sumthin'. Ah'm Big Macintosh." for what he saw in the show, Andrew remembered Big Mac wasn't usually this talkative.

"Andrew Colby, m'man." he said, shaking his hoof. "Your sister AppleJack told me to look after AppleBloom while she's in the shower. Uh ... I take it you've been good?"

"Eeyup."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Here's tha' Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse!" AppleBloom pointed to the humble but small tree house. "Y'all can wait in there while Ah get Scootaloo and Sweetie!" she said, trotting off.

Now. I'm gonna get into a personal matter here. In my time where there's a power outage, I listen to Dubstep ... And dance to it ... I know it's embarrassing, but call me Marquese Scott's brother, I love dancing to Dubstep like a robot. So this was an opportunity to let the stress flow from my body through dancing.

I waved goodbye to the yellow filly, and stepped into the clubhouse. It was a humble yet simplistic tree house, though comforting. It had a few windows, and a heart engraved into the door. It was a tiny bit cramped, just a tiny bit (Not being sarcastic), but it was a really good, old-fashioned (Kinda), tree house.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After about fifteen minutes of waiting and dancing, AppleBloom got back with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. They opened the door to find me dancing ... Like a robot.

"COOL! IT'S A ROBOT!" Scootaloo's outburst made Andrew jump.

"AGH! Jesus! You fillies scared the life out of me!" Andrew said, regaining his focus.

The other members of the Cutie Mark Crusader's jaws dropped (Sweetie Belle + Scootaloo). They both went wide-eyed, and then they looked at AppleBloom.

"Uh ... Girls, why are y'all lookin' at meh funny?" AppleBloom had a knowing grin on her face.

The trio outbursted, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ROBOT ALIEN GREETERS!"

Andrew jumped again in shock, and hit the top of the tree-house, then collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

"Girls! We knocked him out!" AppleBloom said, rushing over to Andrew's body.

"AppleBloom, are you in he-" AppleJack gasped when she saw Andrew's body on the floor, "APPLEBLOOM! WHAT THE HAY HAPPENED HERE!?!" she exclaimed.

"W..W-we kinda scared him and he hit his head." Sweetie Belle said.

"Y'all should be ashamed of yerselves! Y'all shouldn't be yellin' when things like this could happen, girls." AppleJack half-scolded.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Urgh ..." Andrew groaned.

"Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves! Y'all shouldn't be yellin' when things like this could happen, girls." he heard a voice say, sounding as if it was scolding someone.

He looked up, and AppleJack was talking to the trio of fillies, until she saw his open eyes. "Andrew! Are ya' alright?" she asked, hurrying over to him.

"Yeah ... Might get a bruise or something ... I need a bit of rest ..." Andrew said, sorely getting up.

"Ah'm so sorry!" AppleBloom said, giving Andrew a hug.

"Don't worry about it ... I've had worse." Andrew sorely smiled as he hugged the small filly and AppleJack. "Let's go back to the farmhouse. It's late. Maybe these other two can stay over if we don't have the time to bring them home." Andrew suggested.

"That'd be okay with you girls, wouldn't it?" AppleJack asked, followed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders nodding.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Andrew yawned as he held the three fillies over his shoulders and in his arms, walking upstairs. "Which room's yours, AppleBloom?" Andrew asked.

"Right there!" she pointed to a door with her hoof, causing Andrew to walk to the quarter-open door, racing the fillies into the room, and landing on AppleBloom's bed, causing the fillies to giggle.

"Alright you fillies," Andrew said, getting up, "I'm gonna go take the night as well. You all have a good sleep." he hugged each filly.

"But we want a bedtime story!" Sweetie Belle said, making Andrew freeze.

"A bedtime story ... That'd be fine." after saying this, the fillies cheered.

Andrew sat down on the bed, tucking the fillies in. "Get ready girls, this is quite the story. It's 'A Lovely Sunny Day'. It's from my planet." he said, breathing in.

Andrew began to tell the story;

"It was a lovely sunny day in Oak Tree Farm. An 8-year old boy called Tommy lay by the stream listening to the sounds of the countryside. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lions were roaring, and the sheep were .....

Hang on, did I say lions? Yes I did, and they were heading straight for Tommy.

Tommy stood up and saw the three fierce lions coming across the field.

He heard a noise behind him, and, looking round, saw a grizzly bear stomping towards him. On his right were a large number of tigers staring at him, and on his left, in the stream, was a crocodile.

There was no escape. Tommy didn't know what to do. He thought for a moment and realised that the only way out was downwards, so he got a spade and started to dig. But he couldn't dig fast enough - the lions were rapidly approaching, the grizzly bear was just a few feet away, the tigers were starting to move, and the crocodile was snapping at his heels.

Suddenly, a spaceship flew down from the sky and picked him up.

"Phew, that was a close shave" thought Tommy.

Now he was flying through space at a hundred miles an hour. The spaceship was driven by two aliens, both called Dave. They were green with large red eyes and yellow horns. One of them was wearing a T-shirt with the words "I've been to Buckingham Palace and seen the queen" across the front. The other one wore an identical T-shirt.

Tommy was pleased to have been rescued from the animal attack, but was a bit unsure about where these two Daves were taking him.

It was quite warm in the spaceship, so Tommy asked if the heating could be turned down. Unfortunately, neither Dave was quite sure how the heating system worked so one of them opened a window instead. This was a big mistake because space is a vacuum and quite capable of sucking things out of spaceships. This is exactly what happened to the two Daves - they were sucked out of the window, never to be seen again.

Tommy shut the window and sat down at the controls. He'd never driven a spaceship before and was going to have to learn fast, otherwise he'd be in big trouble.

He saw a red button with the letter R on it, and pressed it. The radio came on playing Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Pressing a button marked W started the windscreen wipers, but it wasn't raining so he turned them off.

Eventually he taught himself how to control the spaceship using the steering wheel and gear stick. He brought it down to Earth and landed in his back garden just in time for tea.

He told his mum about his little adventure, but she told him to stop telling lies and get on with his fish fingers.

Forty years later, Tommy was 48-years old and he went on holiday to Spain with his family. While relaxing on a beach he saw two objects falling from the sky. They landed on his towel, and, on closer inspection, Tommy realised that it was the two Daves! After all this time they had finally fallen out of space and back to Earth.

The two Daves were delighted to see Tommy, and Tommy said he would look after them. Now, although the two Daves looked the same, they were in fact completely different. One was clever, and one wasn't. Let's call them Clever Dave and Not-so-Clever Dave.

Tommy said he would drive them to a shop to get some decent clothes. Tommy got in the driving seat, Clever Dave got in the passenger seat, and Not-so-Clever Dave got on the roof rack. When the car started to move, Not-so-Clever Dave fell off the back of the car. He had to chase after them, but as he wasn't very good at running he decided to catch a bus. He climbed on board the number 46 bus and sat on the driver's lap. The bus followed the car all the way to the clothes shop.

In the shop Clever Dave put on a nice black suit and tie. Not-so-Clever Dave put a shirt on his legs, some socks over his ears, a hat on his feet and some shoes on his shoulders. He thought he looked smart, but he actually looked quite ridiculous.

Then they went to a posh restaurant to have a meal. Clever Dave picked up his knife and fork and ate his food. Not-so-Clever Dave picked up his food and ate his knife and fork! He even said it tasted delicious. For pudding, he had the tablecloth and a lady's purse.

Not-so-Clever Dave had a lot of trouble adapting to life on Earth. He couldn't understand why people had to pay for things in shops, so he kept getting arrested for helping himself.

One day, the two Daves were making a cake for Tommy's birthday. Clever Dave was mixing some flour and sugar, while Not-so-Clever Dave was mixing some eggs and dynamite. When Not-so-Clever Dave put the mixture in the oven, there was a huge explosion and both Daves were blasted back to space, never to be seen again.

Tommy was sad to lose his friends, but tried to get on with life as best he could.

Another forty years went past and Tommy was now very old. One day, he was doing some gardening when he saw an aeroplane flying past. There seemed to be something hanging from one of the wings, so he got his binoculars to have a better look. Suddenly, whatever it was came free from the plane and started to float down to the ground. It turned out to be two things, not one, and both of those things were Daves.

Tommy was delighted to see his old friends again, although it was a shame that Not-so-Clever Dave had landed on his flower bed. They went into the house and got something to eat, because both Daves were hungry after floating around space for 40 years.

Tommy mentioned that he wished he were young again, because being old can be a bit of a problem. Then an amazing thing happened. Clever Dave produced a pack of Magical Wishing Powder and sprinkled it over Tommy.

Suddenly, Tommy was 8 years old again! He was lying by a stream in Oak Tree Farm and it was a lovely sunny day. The birds were singing, the cows were mooing, the lions were roaring, and the sheep were .....

Yes, thanks to Clever Dave, Tommy was able to live his life all over again. This time though, he dug a bit faster and escaped from the animals through a tunnel. In his second life he never met the Daves, but he always had happy memories of them ..."

Andrew's story put the fillies to sleep half-way through. His mother used to tell the story to him every two or three nights as a child, and it was his favorite. Memorized by heart, he thought. He gave the three fillies a peck on the nose, before going into AppleJack's room.

AppleJack came in behind him, "That was quite the bedtime story you told the fillies." she said.

"Yeah. My mother used to tell me it as a kid. Loved it." Andrew said, snuggling up in the blanket.

"Gosh darnit', Andy, save meh some of the blanket would ya'?" she giggled.

"Oh pfft ... Fine." Andrew said childishly, going along with it, releasing some of the blanket from his 'grasp'. "Get on in here."

AppleJack took off her stetson hat, climbed into bed, and snuggled up with Andrew, resting her head on his shoulder. Andrew put his arm around AppleJack, not realizing it was her flank he was touching, and snuggled closer to her. AppleJack's eyes shot open, "Git yer' hands offa' mah flank!" she quietly exclaimed.

"Whoops! I didn't know that was your er ... Flank." Andrew blushed, moving his hands up, giggling like an idiot.

"It's okay ..." the farmpony said.

The two remained snuggling, since the bed was kind of small for two.

AppleJack drifted to sleep first, followed by Andrew.

FINGERS ... HURT ... GAH! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, everypony! My frickin' fingers hurt like a son of a whore! I spoil you guys too much! 5,000 FRICKIN' WORDS! JESUS!

Little bit of a surprise in this chapter. Enjoy, though.

Me and AppleJack were having a few apples for breakfast. AppleBloom and her friends, however, slept in.

"So ... You're on this farm. What is your job, AJ?" I asked the orange farmpony.

"Well, Ah mahself and Big Macintosh, mah big brother, along with ah massive part of the Apple family buck apple trees. Our job is ta' supply Ponyville and other parts of Equestria with the best and tastiest of apples. About every one of our families spread over Equestria have a farm with an apple orchard." AppleJack explained with pride.

"That's impressive." I said. My phone rang in my pocket, "Ugh! Who is it this time!?"

The caller ID read General Adams. I groaned and answered, "What?"

"Andrew. Glad to talk to ya' again. If you're in a different world, how could you be receiving this call? Hmm?" the General asked.

"You're the one calling me, Adams. I have no fucking clue. I'm not on Earth. HOW FUCKING LONG, DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT!" I slammed my fist on the table, making AppleJack go wide-eyed. I hung up, "Ugh ... AppleJack, sorry for startling you like that. I just get easily irritated, and this just went over the line. Sorry." I apologized.

"I-it's fine. Ah just don't understand why this General of yer's keeps callin' ya' or sumthin." AppleJack was looking for an answer.

"I was a soldier in the army. One of the best. I served in two wars, and lived through them both, earning me the rank of Lieutenant General," I said, showing the soot-stained crest of the Canadian Army I wore upon my shoulder.

- Lieutenant General Shoulder Crest of the Canadian Militia.

"Ah don't get it." AppleJack studied the tattered and beaten piece of fabric, looking back up at me. EYES ... AUGHHGHG! ... "What's this supposed ta' mean?" she asked.

"It states the wearer is the rank of Lieutenant General, second highest rank aside from General." I explained.

"Well, Ah'm sorry ta' get up n' leave like this, but Ah have ta' get applebuckin again. You know where ta' find meh if you need meh." AppleJack said as she put on her 'stetson and left the farmhouse to the fields.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I eagerly wanted to head into Ponyville to get my shirt back from Rarity, but my conscience told me not to, "Common sense, jackass!" ... But then I came up with an idea; I'd sneak. Since I saw some of the geography of the town, I knew that the Carousel Boutique could be entered from the back. I decided to carry out this plan.

As I crept behind the walls of buildings, I could peer into the streets of Ponyville. I didn't even stop to look, I kept moving. I began sprinting, and eventually, I could see the familiar shape of Carousel Boutique. I slowed my pace, but kept weary, in case I was spotted. I saw Rarity doing laundry, and I ducked behind a tree near the clothesline. She was humming a tune, but I couldn't make it out.

"Psst! Rarity!" I whispered loudly. The humming stopped, and the white unicorn looked around.

"Y...Y-yes?" she nervously stuttered.

"It's Andy! I'm behind the tree at the moment ..! And I came to get my shirt back!" I whispered loudly again, stepping out from the tree.

"Oh! You want your shirt back ... Well, I have good news! Since that was the only shirt you had, I used it as a base and made you more, darling!" Rarity perked up. God I love the way she speaks. Rarity went into the Carousel Boutique for around two minutes, before coming back out.

"Darling, may I add that your perfectly toned muscles will be shown off in these?" Rarity levitated the T-shirts to me.

I facepalmed, "Perfectly toned muscles. Seriously. Every pony here is adoring my muscles!" I exclaimed, "THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE VANITY MUSCLES!" I yelled.

"Well I personally find them to accent your features, darling. In all honesty, yes - they are attractive." Rarity complimented.

I slipped on a matching forest-camouflage T-shirt, it went with my pants. My abs stood out from them. "Ugh ... I feel like I'm becoming an attention whore ..." I muttered under my breath, head hung low.

"What was that, dear?" Rarity asked.

"N-NOTHING!" I exclaimed. "You were right when you said these would show off my muscles ..." I said, flexing. "This T-shirt is actually pretty comfortable!" I complimented.

"Why thank you dear. You do look very handsome. Now, there are three more. There's one in black, one in sky blue, and one in a deep green." Rarity continued, passing me the three other T-shirts. "Er ... I forgot to ask, would you like two more pairs of pants, dear?" she offered.

"Hmm. These shirts are amazing. But .. Er ... Wouldn't it be a bit awkward, a half naked bipedal creature?" I asked.

"You could just stay in the Boutique while I sew them together!" Rarity perked up, "Come along!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I pulled off my soot-stained camouflage fatigues in the bathroom, reaching an arm down and grabbing them. I then walked behind the door, and reached the arm that held the pants out to an awaiting Rarity. "Here you go." I said as the unicorn's magic surrounded the fatigues.

"All right darling, you will have two more pairs of pants within half an hour!" I could feel Rarity perk up as she walked upstairs to her work room.

"God I love this place," I said, looking around. "Hmm. Rarity!" I called out.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Would you mind if I were to use the shower?" I called back.

"Not at all darling!" I could hear the rev of the small motor of the sewing machines as they started up. Damn, she's fucking fast!

"Thanks!"

I started up the shower. The water started off cold, and I slipped out of my boxers. I stepped in, and the water immediately heated up, beads of warm water ejecting from the shower-head, trickling down my muscles and legs. Not that it wasn't an unnatural shower, just that not taking one in a bit of a while made this one seem ... Better ... Than most times. I picked up a bottle, and it read; 'Lavender Love', another read; 'Vanilla Cream'. I decided Lavender Love would go better with me, so I squeezed some onto the loofa that I found, and began to lather it onto my skin. The body wash quickly took effect, foaming around where I lathered it onto, puffing into bubbles as I lathered more. The scent of lavender was delicate, but strong at the same time. It smelled good, nonetheless.

About three minutes passed, and now was time to wash my hair. The only two were 'Sexy Mane' (Jeez, ain't that familiar?), and 'Heavenly Hair'. I picked Sexy Mane, and squeezed some of it's contents onto my short hair, the scent of roses and chocolate filled the surrounding air, and I began to lather, causing bubbles to form along with foam.

Eventually, I rinsed off my body and my hair, stepped out of the shower, got a towel, and dried myself off. I quickly put my boxers back on, and looked at myself in the mirror.

"WHAT."

"THE."

"F-F-F-F...-F-FF....FUCK!!?!?!?"

I looked at 'myself'. I was entirely cartoonized. My muscles stood out, far surpassing most of my other features (That was probably why I am a fucking mare magnet ...). My short brown hair and deep green eyes, wait ... Did I say deep green? Yes. I fucking said DEEP. GREEN. My irises changed their coloration! Before they were a pale cornflower blue! Holy shit! I grew an excited and surprised smile. I cheered loudly, "WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Rarity called back, "Darling! Are you okay!?" she asked dramatically.

"Yeah! My eyes!" I exclaimed happily.

"What about them?" Rarity called back.

"THEY'RE DEEP GREEN! THEY USED TO BE PALE BLUE!" I, again, exclaimed happily. (I hated my old eye color, in case you're wondering why I am so happy right now.)

"Really? That is quite interesting, dear. Your pants are almost done, by the way!" Rarity replied.

"I'm coming up in eh ... Five minutes?" I said, putting on a towel. I began frantically looking for a brush to comb my hair back, which I eventually found. I grabbed it, and began styling my hair the way it was before I was a soldier, slicked back. I hummed an upbeat tune, man, I've never been happier, I thought.

"Alright darling!" Rarity called back.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Shoo ba-de-bap-bap-a-doo-bap-bap-be-bo-bo-bap-bap, shoo ba-de-bap-bap-a-doo-bap-bap-be-do-do- do -do -DO!" I sang the tune happily as I ascended the stairs to Rarity's workroom.

"You're pretty cheerful today, aren't you?" Rarity questioned.

"Quite! For one, I finally have an eye color that goes with my hair, and two, I'm being made clothes for by a very talented Equine seamstress! Life is so goooooooood!" I sang out the o's in 'Good'.

Rarity giggled before asking, "How do you know I'm a seamstress?" she asked.

"I saw the mannequins when I was walking upstairs with you, and I see fabric. And you're sewing. Pretty obvious hints, Rarity!" I explained, cheerfully, laughing at the end.

"Oh!" Rarity joined in. "Just a moment please, I shall be finished with your pants in a minute or so ..." Rarity was 'In The Zone'.

I decided to look at her previous works. "Mm. These are lovely, Rarity! You know, if you were a clothing designer on Earth, in America, you'd be making billions of dollars, or whatever the currency here is called." I said. Rarity didn't hear me, because she was still in 'The Zone'.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Nearly five minutes passed, and Rarity finished the last pair of pants. "Done!" she sang. Her voice, courtesy of Tabitha St. Germain, made the tune sound marvelous in itself. "Darling, you have to come look at this attire!" Rarity vocally gestured me over.

"Alright!" I said, walking over. These were pants ... Why am I so excited? I asked myself. Eh, it'll pass.

"This is the first pair, dear." Rarity said, showboating the first pair. They appeared to be black 'half' skinny-jeans, but not made with Denim, of course. They had the texture of Denim, but as soft as cotton.

I gave Rarity a sincere and warm smile, "This is so generous of you, Rarity! Thank you."

"Oh but it is the least I can do, darling! Here is the second pair, along with the original fatigues." she levitated the two pairs of pants to me, and my eyes went wide.

The other pair of pants were charcoal black, but had forest-camouflage stripes throughout, and on the sides ... Holy shit ... There were small emeralds here and there on the sides, along with pockets. They were, again, soft as cotton. "Oh my ... Oh my ... OH MY ..." I was almost speechless. "THESE ARE AMAZING!" I exclaimed. Seriously, over a pair of pants? Ugh, apparently so ... I looked to Rarity. "You. Are. The most. Talented. Mare. I've. Met." I clearly stated. Rarity beamed.

"Oh why thank you, darling! I'm glad you like them!" Rarity said, perking up.

"Like them? I don't like them ..." Rarity's ears flopped down. I grew a smile on my face ... Get ready for it ... "I LOVE THEM!" and I gave Rarity a hug, her ears erecting to their normal state. She smiled, and I smiled back. I nuzzled my nose on her nose. "I'm getting changed into these!" I picked up the black T-shirt and the black 'skinny' jeans, rushing up to the bathroom to try them on.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They fit perfectly. They did show off my muscles, and holy shit, call me John Paul Tremblay without the mustache and black hair ... I looked fucking handsome alright!

I walked upstairs, "Well?" I asked, making Rarity look over to me. Her eyes shot open as I showboated my look, her mouth went agape, then she moaned as if she fell for me right then and there, and tipped over onto her side. I swear, I saw hearts rise from her body ...

I rushed over and helped Rarity up, who's eyelids went half-closed, giving me 'bedroom eyes'. I scooped her up and she nuzzled me, "You are truly one handsome stallion in those garments." she shot me a sultry look.

"You're the one responsible!" I teased. We both laughed.

"Eucch!" Sweetie Belle witnessed the entire thing ... "Sis! What are you doing!" she exclaimed.

We both blushed sheepishly as Rarity leaped from my embrace, twiddling her hooves when she landed on the ground. We both remained silent, and I just got up and left. Yeah. I just got up and left.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I walked the way I came, I was again, behind the buildings of Ponyville. I had my clothes from Rarity over my left shoulder, and as I walked home ...

I bumped into a mare.

The mare who I bumped into went wide-eyed, staring at me, even though her auburn eyes were criss-crossed. "M-M-M-M-M-M..." I cut her off.

"Please, I don't want to start a panic." I grew a sincere smile as I begged, and went down to her eye level. I recognized her as Derpy Whooves. "I won't hurt you, or any pony here for that matter." I patted her on her mane, and walked past her.

She didn't understand what I meant ...

"MONSTER!!!!!!!!" she screamed, bolting for Ponyville.

"God fucking dammit."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And that's it? She just screamed 'monster' and just high-tailed for Ponyville?" AppleJack asked as me, AppleBloom and Big Mac (I was introduced to Granny Smith earlier, when I got back to the farm.) sat around the dinner table.

"Pretty much. Now I'll probably never be able to go into town." I said, depressed.

"Ah got dessert!" Granny Smith said, as she walked in with an apple pie on her back. "Apple pie." she perked up.

"Thanks." I thanked the old green mare as she sat down. "If I may do the honors ..." I asked, as I pointed to the knife.

"Sure thing!" AppleJack said.

I picked up the knife, and slowly sliced AppleBloom a piece of pie. "Thanks!" she said.

Next up, Big Macintosh. "Here ya' go, Big Mac!" I said.

"Eeyup!"

Now, AppleJack. "AJ." I said, putting the piece of pie on her plate.

"Thank ya' kindly."

Second lastly, Granny Smith. "M'lady." I said, placing the piece of pie on her plate.

"Thanks, sonny!"

I nodded, and sliced myself a piece of pie. "Man oh man, how long has it been since I've eaten apple pie ..." I asked, taking a bite. "Oh ... Oh my ... Too long!" I said, taking another bite. "This ish good, realleh realleh good!" I complimented.

"Ah shucks, it's mah old recipe! Thanks again, sonny!" Granny Smith thanked me with a sincere smile.

"Bang-on! This is the number one apple pie I've tasted in all my years!" I exclaimed, satisfied. AppleJack smiled at me.

"Ahaha, on ah scale a' one ta' ten, how good is it?" AppleBloom asked.

"Over nine ... Wait, I shouldn't do that reference ... TEN BILLION!" I exclaimed, after muttering that first part under my breath. The members of the Apple family before me smiled, and we continued eating our dessert.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(It was just a little into the afternoon when I got back to the farm, by the way.)

"Well, y'all look heart-smashin' in those." AppleJack complimented.

I facepalmed, "EVERY ... TIME!" I complained.

"What's wrong, sugarcube?" AppleJack asked.

"Well, apparently I'm like, a mare magnet. Rarity made these clothes for me, I managed to get them, and I swear, she collapsed when she saw me wearing them! And I saw little tiny hearts fly!" I explained.

"Well, they do look purty' good on you, darlin'." AppleJack tried to imitate Rarity with a sly smirk.

More facepalms.

"Why do I look so good!?!" I complained.

"Ah don't know!" AppleJack said. "Yer' muscles are showin' themselves off, that's probably ah reason. And yer' eyes and mane are purty' handsome, sugarcube." AppleJack complimented.

"Thanks." I said sarcastically, walking from the porch onto the dirt ground. My phone rang again. "UGH!!!!!!" I screamed. I answered furiously, "WHO THE FUCK IS IT!?!?" I yelled into the device. Anyone on the other end would have to take the phone away from their ear because I was so loud.

"A-Andrew ..." my ex-wife's voice came back. "A-are you alright?" she asked.

I was shocked. I froze, speechless. "Yeah." I blankly said.

"You've went missing, and Adams won't tell me anything! Where are you?" My ex-wife begged.

"IN HELL!" I answered immediately without thinking, frustrated. I hung up, and dropped to my knees.

"Andy are y'all alright?" AppleJack put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Don't cry ... Don't cry ... You're a ... *Sniffle* A..." and then the waterworks started.

"WHY AM I SO CRUEL? WHY CAN'T I BE NICE?" I questioned in-between sobs.

"There there, 'And. Y'all are ah nice guy." AppleJack cheered me up a bit, and hugged me. "Y'all ain't cruel neither. Alright?" she asked me.

I didn't cry for long, only a minute and a half. "T-thanks AJ." I said, wrapping my arms around her.

"Yer' welcome." she replied, smiling.

"You're a great friend, AJ." I said, standing up.

"Ah shucks 'And," AppleJack blushed, "That means a lot ta' meh." what she did next caught me off guard; she kissed me on my left cheek.

I was speechless once again. The entirety of my body froze, and I collapsed, falling back and smashing my head off of the wooden step. I don't remember, but I think I was knocked unconscious.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Poor Andy." AppleJack said as Big Mac carried him over his back to the Ponyville Hospital. "One kiss ta' the cheek and he gets knocked out. Ah shoulda' thought twice before doin' that." AppleJack looked glum.

As the 'trio' approached the hospital, the room's windows were a magenta-ish tint, the sign with a red cross, the dirt path, the beige walls, and the green door. It was the same as when Rainbow Dash sprained her wings.

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, looking at the hospital.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In The Evening ...

"Oh ... Oh my fucking head ..." Andrew said, putting his hand on his now gauze-wrapped forehead. His hand dropped, and he lost every ounce of strength in his body. He was looking up. "Agh ... I can't fucking move ..." he said. He could just barely nudge his head to survey his surroundings. "FUCK!" he exclaimed, "I'm in a fucking hospital ... Okay Andy ... Just calm down ..." he told himself. "But ... If this is Ponyville's hospital ... That means ... Oh fuck!" he exclaimed, worriedly.

The door suddenly opened. Andrew nudged his head over to see Twilight. "Girls! He's awake!" she said, coming into the room, followed by the other ponies (Except AppleJack).

"Hey, Twilight ..." Andrew greeted.

"I'm sorry for what happened. Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked as she reached Andrew first.

"It wasn't even your fault, Fluttershy, why are you apologizing?" Rainbow Dash asked her.

"Don't worry about it Dash, she just cares about me is all." Andrew shot Fluttershy a half-hearted but sincere smile. "Did they put me on painkillers?" he asked.

"Yes, they did. It was a pretty strong dose too." Twilight said.

"Yeah, little problem with that ... I can't seem to move." Andrew complained childishly but tiredly.

"Oh get over it, the medication'll wear off in a couple of hours." Nurse Redheart stepped in with a clipboard. "Glad you're awake at least!" and with that, she left.

"Well, I'm sorry Andrew, but I have to go and feed my animals." Fluttershy softly said. "I hope you get better!" and she trotted out of the door.

"I personally have to go and write to Princess Celestia. Bye!" Twilight said, leaving.

"Oh gosh! As soon as you're better, I'll throw you a 'Welcome to Ponyville' party!" Pinkie Pie beamed at Andrew before hopping out of the room.

"I am so sorry about your condition, Andy. I hope you get much better. I have orders to catch up on." Rarity said, walking out of the room.

"I don't have anything better to do." Rainbow Dash said, "I'll keep you company for a while!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks, Dash." Andrew sincerely smiled.

"Eh, no problem ..." Dash chuckled evilly as she disappeared.

"Dash, where'd you go- OH!" there was a rustle in the blanket on the bed Andrew was in, and Dash popped her head out from underneath.

"You're mine ..." Rainbow Dash grew a devilish smile.

"Uh ... What? What do you mean, slave, dirty favors ... Ehm ..." Andrew blushed, still being unable to move. Rainbow Dash cracked up laughing.

"Oh you're too funny, Andy!" Rainbow Dash met his eye level. "Maybe ..." she said, leaving him hanging, giving him a sultry look.

Andrew's eyes shot open, "Dash! What do you thin- MMPH!"

Rainbow Dash had closed the distance between their heads, a full-on kiss, Andrew relaxed and kissed her back, continuing and cherishing this time. Some of his strength regained itself, and he slowly wrapped his arms around Dash, kissing her harder. What happened next kind of startled Andrew; Dash's tongue snaked into his mouth. He went along with it and french-kissed her, tongues wrapping together and saliva exchanging. It felt pretty good for the both of them.

Sooner or later, Dash closed the curtain, and continued. The kiss went on for about thirty more seconds, then the two both stopped for breath.

"Don't you think I'm done with you ..." Dash said evilly, going back in for another kiss.

"Mm ..." Andrew moaned as the two locked lips and exchanged saliva, followed by Rainbow Dash. Still in an embrace, the two continued their kiss again. His eyes slowly opened as he felt heat irradiating from Dash's lower half ... He continued kissing her, until they stopped for a breather. He looked down, and Dash grew a sheepish smile, whilst he grew a devilish one.

"Um ..." Rainbow Dash's ears flopped down, "I ... I ..."

"It's okay." Andrew reassured her.

"R-really?" Dash asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" he asked.

"Um ... Cause it's embarrassing?"

"No it's not. We all get excited at one point our lifetimes. It's fine!" Andrew reassured her again.

"Um ... That's not what I meant ... I ... I meant what I'm thinking ..." Dash blushed, ears still down.

"Oh, don't be all like that! It's fine!" Andrew tried cheering her up from her embarrassment.

"But ... You'd only say that if ... I-if ..." Dash looked down, and saw the sultry look on Andrew's face. "If ... If you wanted to ... Do what I wanted to do." she admitted.

"And what do you want to do?" Andrew mocked her.

"Y... You." Dash admitted, looking away.

Andrew's eyes shot open, as he could really feel how hot Dash was getting now. It was starting to get to him, too.

"Could you ... C-could you massage my flank?" this question made Andrew look surprised.

"If you want me to, get on top of me and turn around." Andrew felt really dirty for saying this, but Dash complied, the curtain blocked anybody from seeing in anyway.

Dash did as told, and was blushing furiously. Andrew summoned up all of his strength into his arms, and raised his hands, ascending Dash's hind legs, making her moan softly. The downy fur on her legs was very soft, and then his hands reached her flanks. They were soft yet toned, and hot from excitement ... Well, that was the part below her flank, which was irradiating with heat. Dash moaned as Andrew began to rub her flanks, groping her in a way she had never felt. Her virginity was begging for his stallionhood, but she would see how far they'd go. Dash moaned louder with more enthusiasm and passion in her moans.

"Please ... P-please ..." Dash couldn't say what she wanted.

Andrew whispered devilishly, "If you want." and Dash's flank was pulled towards Andrew's head. "Somepony's excited." he teased.

"OH PLEASE JUST LICK MY- OHH!" Dash's exclaiming was cut off with a satisfied moan as Andrew's tongue met her marehood. "Yes ... Mmm ... Oh yes ... Oh!" she moaned, blushing.

Andrew was certainly enjoying this. Even though a virgin, Rainbow Dash certainly had a lot of juice. Her love was supplying Andrew with a great supply of nectar to slurp up as he licked her love passionately while the cyan Pegasus moaned enthusiastically, the words "More ... M-more ..." would escape her lips every now and then, as the human's tongue licked her love furiously and amazingly, giving her a sense of pleasure she never experienced before.

"Yes ... More, please!" Rainbow begged, as she almost reached her peak. "I'm ab..About to ... Ah... Ahn!" she exclaimed, stuffing her face into the bed, her moistness emptying it's lust onto the human's tongue. She moaned out of pure pleasure, and collapsed, her love walls puffed up from her orgasm.

She was panting. She never thought she'd go this far this fast, but it was too late to look back now. Dash turned around, legs wobbly from the overpowering yet lasting contractions in her virgin love, and rested atop of the human. She nuzzled him. "That was amazing ..." she complimented.

"Hmmhmm... Thanks. You tasted pretty good, too." Andrew swallowed the remaining love juices left on his tongue.

"How ... H-how far do you want to go?" Dash asked him.

"As far as you want to go, Dash." Andrew offered.

"This is as far as I want to go." Dash nuzzled into him, and closed her eyes.

The sky was darkened with the stars and the Lunar princesses' moon. Andrew wrapped an arm around the tired and satisfied cyan Pegasus, and put some of the blanket over her, cuddling up with her. Andrew gave the Pegasus a kiss on the cheek, bringing a smile to both of their faces, before they both drifted into a half-early slumber.

Dash had fallen to sleep in my embrace, which was cute as hell. I could still faintly taste her excitement, but the taste had worn down. I enjoyed last night, although I didn't get to do anything. It was a little bit sudden, but I didn't mind. God, I'm beginning to feel like that alter ego of Princess Celestia; Princess Molestia.

The morning sun of Celestia shone brightly through the pale magenta-stained glass. I smiled warmly as the still-resting Rainbow Dash began to wake, rubbing her maroon eyes as she rose her tired head up.

"Morning, 'Dash." I said. The painkillers had worn off, but I still had a medium-strength headache. Somebody get me an Advil? Please? No? Ugh ... Fuck you all! Dash responded by just nuzzling into me. HEART ... AGHGH...

"Pancakes pleas ..." Rainbow Dash drifted off. I giggled softly at her subconscious mumbling. "Syrup ..." I was holding back a very large laughing fest now, even at this early in the morning!

I kissed Rainbow Dash on her cheek, bringing a warm smile to her face. I pulled her in close as we both cuddled. I reopened the curtain that separated us from any prying eyes from the night before, and surely enough, I saw nurses passing by every now and then, attending to other patients and what not.

Rainbow Dash finally woke up, slowly, but she woke up. Again, she rubbed her eyes slowly, and looked up at me. She had the cutest bedhead look. She nuzzled me, and said, "Hey ..." yeah, a little anti-climatic but who cares? It's Rainbow Dash, not some 2 bit whore! Dash opened her eyes fully, and looked at me. "That was good last night." she said, and I immediately blushed, as to knowing what she was talking about.

"How couldn't it be?" I asked.

"I dunno ... We could have done a little more, but I ... OH! I am almost late! Sorry! I have to go make the sky cloudy before eight!" she exclaimed, leaping from bed. "I'll be sure to pay you back!" she flew out of the window with a devilish grin on her face.

"God I love her ..." I said, thinking dirty shit.

* * * * * * * * * * *

3:57 PM (Dash & Andy slept in pretty early, but Andy didn't know if he could leave the hospital.)

I felt the gauze that was still wrapped around my forehead. "Better check the damage." I said, walking over to a mirror, which I angled to show the back of my head, revealing a dry-blood caked area on the back of my head. I cringed at the sight, but I've had worse.

I heard some talking outside. I easily analyzed the voices of AppleJack and Twilight. I slipped on my camouflage tee, and the door opened. In stepped Nurse Redheart, and yep, AppleJack and Twilight.

"Howdy' there, Andy. Y'all feelin' any better?" AppleJack asked.

"Little bit of a headache, AJ, nothing much." I replied. "Twilight! So nice to see you again." I said, shaking the lavender unicorns' hoof.

Twilight smiled delightfully, "The feeling is mutual."

AppleJack intervened, "Twi', ain't we gonna tell him why we're here?" she asked.

Twilight snapped to attention, "Oh! For pony sake, I forgot! Sorry!" she apologized.

"It's fine. Anyway, meh and Twilight here are gonna show ya' round town!" AppleJack gestured me to the door.

"And," Nurse Redheart chimed in finally, "Our friend Zecora wanted to give you this, you hit your head off of that step pretty hard ... A-Andrew." her fear was still portrayed slightly in her voice, what can I say? I'm a huge ... Ugh! Don't get me started. She handed me a small vial that was corked. "It's actually for headaches ..." she said.

"Just what I was looking for, thanks, Nurse Redheart." I thanked, softly grabbing the bottle from the end table the mare placed it on, uncorking the vial, and downing the fluid. "The Advil of ponies." I laughed.

"Advil? What is that?" Twilight asked.

"Just a big medicine brand back on Earth." I replied. My headache slowly died down as me, AppleJack and Twilight walked from the hospital. "Whoa, the effect's already taking its toll. Much faster than Advil." I said, rubbing my head. "AppleJack, when I hit my head ... How bad was it?" I asked nervously.

"Well, ifn' ya want ta' know, sugarcube, y'all were bleedin' ah might, y'all had ah bit a' blood loss, and ah small cut on the back of yer' head. That's what Ah saw at least, 'And." the orange farmpony replied, looking up at me, then back down.

"So we're going into town?" I asked again.

"Yeah! It'd be ah good thing ta' do 'cause of that mare sprayin' hooey 'bout y'all bein' ah monster." as the trio walked into town, Ponyville was deserted.

"Hmm. Seems that the word got around fast ..." I said, crossing my arms.

"Ah'll go check, be right back." AppleJack said, walking up to a door. "Anypony in here?" there came no answer. She did the same for some buildings down each side of the town. "Nopony's in their homes! It's like they all high-tailed it for Canterlot or somewhere else!" she exclaimed, stuttering nervously. The Element of Honesty doesn't lie ... I glared at her knowingly for a mere second, and broke our glance.

"Well, where should we go?" I asked, trying to hide my grin.

"Let's head to my house! We're close by anyway." after Twilight said this, I was gritting my teeth, trying not to show my over-excited grin.

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Alright, let's go!" Twilight said. The lights were all off in her house. This can only mean one thing ... I thought, grinning happily, not being able to contain my enthusiasm any longer.

We stepped in.

The lights clicked.

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!"

I had the biggest smile on my face, both surprised and happy. Every pony in the room gasped once they saw me.

Pinkie Pie rushed up to me, pulling me into the middle of the room in Twilight's library, "Hi everypony! This is Andrew! Our very bestest, cooly-wooly human friend!" she exclaimed, bouncing.

"Hey everyone!" I exclaimed. Some ponies cheered.

"Hit it, DJ!" and all of the sudden ...

DJ PON-3 shouted, "WELCOME TO PONYVILLE! LET'S SPIN THIS!" and then she dropped the bass into a hardstyle dubstep melody.

I could see Lyra. I read one, only one fan fiction on her, and how she acted around humans. "Oh sh..." and she was standing right in front of me. "... it." I muttered. "H-hi ..." I was nervous from the look on her face. I backpedaled.

"You're a ..."

"AH-AH-AH. DON'T SAY IT." I demanded, hushing her.

"HEY! ANDREW! GET ON UP HERE!" DJ PON-3 shouted, gesturing me to come up, slowing the music down and lowering the volume.

I complied and quickly rushed up. Lyra had a look of disappointment on her face. "Thank god ..." I said under my breath. The musical unicorn levitated a microphone to me, which I grasped. "Hey everypony! ... As you all probably know, I'm Andrew. Call me Andy. It's pretty awesome to see all of you go out of your way just to celebrate my arrival, thanks Pinkie, thanks everyone. Have a good time!" I said, getting down, ponies smiling at me.

Pinkie swept in front of me, "WHO WANTS TO HUG ANDREW!" OH GOD, PINKIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?! I screamed in my head.

Ponies lit up at this, cheering. Two mares came over and gave me a firm hug, nuzzling me. "You're soo warm ..."

Oh god ...

Next hug. "Mmm ... Yeah I like those smooth, sexy hands all over my flank .."

OH GOD ... Wait ... FLANK!?!? The pony saying this magically forced my hands onto her flank. She was a unicorn.

Another hug, "You big handsome stallion ... I'll be waiting for you ..." Lyra chuckled.

"OH GOD!!!" I exclaimed. Just before I could flee, two other mares hugged me at once.

"He's so big and warm!"

Fuck. Me. And. My. Dirty. Fucking. Mind.

About nineteen hugs later, I was blushing like mad, and a rather half-intoxicated Twilight came up to me, "Mind if I get a hug?" she asked.

I nodded, and she wrapped her hooves around my waist, putting her head in an awkward position. "Oh god oh god oh god oh god ..." I muttered.

"SOMEPONY SPIKED THE PUNCH!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Oh you feel so warm ... Mmm ..." Twilight nuzzled my crotch, without knowing the full human anatomy.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK..." I blushed intensely. Practically everyone at the fucking party was half drunk! Jesus!

That was when Rainbow Dash walked up to me. She stood out from the crowd as an un-intoxicated Pegasus. She walked over to me. "Hey. You enjoying the hugs?"

"Not as much as the mares have. I swear to god I've never felt more awkward in my life!" I complained.

"What happened?" Dash asked.

"Put two and two together. Drunk ponies plus free hugs equals pitching a tent." I threw my hands over my head.

"I could help with that ..." Dash grinned evilly. "I said I'd repay you." she said.

"After the party, sure. I'm feeling kinda randy right now, but I can save for later." I grinned devilishly.

Dash immediately kissed me on the lips, hugging me.

"Oh! We got ourselves a couple! The freak and Rainbow Crash! How fitting!" three colts walked up to Dash and I and teased us.

"What did you just say?" I snapped, "It doesn't matter if you're a different FUCKING species. What matters is you love the person! How would you feel if I insulted you for going out with a different species? Is all you do is waste your life bitching about others' personal life and insulting them?" I had anger in my eyes. I was right in his face. "If you weren't a pony, the only thing holding you down would be six feet a' dirt by now." I glared angrily at him. "If you so much as to do as much as insult Rainbow Dash, so God help me, I will end you." I glared at him seriously enough that the three colts backed off, their pupils shrunk.

"Wow ... That was ... So nice of you!" Rainbow Dash looked up at me.

"Ah, they were being jackasses. I don't like to see you get insulted, you beautiful Pegasus." I complimented.

"You think I'm beautiful?" she gleamed and beamed at me.

"Very much so, Dash. I love the colors of your fur and mane, your eyes, and not to mention the way you moan." I elbowed Dash softly, causing her to laugh while blushing. "You're the only light in my dark heart."

Dash wrapped her hooves around me, and kissed me again. I held her, and again, her tongue snaked into my mouth, while I thrashed my tongue around in her mouth. We gasped for breath, "I love you." I said.

"I ... Love you too ..." Dash replied, looking me in the eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The party came to a slow end. Me and Dash had a bit of punch. Dash was only a tiny bit out of it, not too much. I was the smallest bit tipsy. We had cake, cupcakes and muffins, and we made out a lot, that's for sure. I loved Dash and she loved me back. We walked out of the door of Twilight's house together, saying our thanks and goodbyes.

"Soo ..." Dash began, "Want to ..." she half-asked.

"I was skulking around AJ's house, and there's a guest room. We can have some fun in there." I said. AppleJack was heading back to the farm to work, since we were only there for two and a half hours.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I laid Dash onto the bed when we got there, thankfully nobody was there to intervene.

I smiled evilly, "Oh-ho-ho I'm gonna enjoy this ..." I said, stripping to my boxers. I hopped onto the bed too, and Dash got on top of me. She was hot already. "Mm. I like the way you get excited so quick, you sexy pony." I teased with a sultry look.

"Oh really?" she said, shaking her flank in the air slowly but attractively. "Let me rub you." she said, moving her body up and down on mine.

The friction felt good. Really good. My manhood began to rise, slowly, but steadily. It twitched whenever the blood rushed to my dick, and with Dash rubbing up and down my body, over my dick every time, I was moaning myself.

Soon, the rubbing stopped. Dash looked up at me, "Can I see it?" she asked, blushing. I nodded. She pulled herself down, and my cock snapped up into it's fully-erect state, even through my boxers. Dash's eyes widened, "You're pretty big ..." she said, lowering herself down. "Why is it white?" she asked. I laughed.

"That's not it, those are my boxers," I said, taking them off. My now exposed, hot, appendage was now throbbing under Rainbow Dash. She gasped.

"Now that's big!" she exclaimed. "I ... I actually never seen a ... You know." I understood what she meant, thank god, because if she saw a 3 ft. long hose of a stallion, Beeaaaauuurrrowww.. PLLOOOSH. There would go my chances of getting that sexy cyan flank.

Dash's breath ran down my cock's underside, her maw open and ready to take in my dick. "Can I ..." she asked, looking back to me again. I nodded, and she stuck her tongue out, licking the base of my cock, moving up slowly. I was massaging her soft yet toned flank all the while, relishing the feelings of the Pegasus' tongue running along my taint.

She opened her maw, and began to suck on the tip. She did this for a bit, then moved down my length a bit, taking in two inches, surpassing the head and the ridge of my foreskin. She moved her head up and down slowly, but picked up the pace, increasing the tempo. Her saliva was warm and perfect, the blowjob I was receiving felt very good. Dash popped me out of her mouth, and crawled on top of me. My pulsating and dampened cock remained warm under Dash's love.

"Could you ..?" she asked, looking down. I began teasing her by rubbing my flared cockhead along the tight but moist slit of her love. Dash moaned and blushed harder than she ever had before, and began pressing down. "Put it in, put it in!" she demanded out of pure lust.

I did as told, but flipped Dash around onto her back. I wasn't going to be the sub, because Dash would have to move more if she was dominant, and since she's a virgin ... That would suck for her. I remained as I did, teasing her. She begged again and again, and I finally complied, pushing forward into the well-naturally-lubricated but fresh love of Dash, the moist walls yielding some of my length, small contractions warping around my erect cock, making me moan. Dash cringed at the first-time pain, biting her lip. We remained at a standby, until Dash said, "I ... I think it's okay." and I started slowly, thrusting forward, again, relishing the feelings. Dash moaned in both pain and pleasure as I increased the tempo, the walls of her love separating before my cock, allowing it more space. My wife is a little bitch compared to Dash, fuck her, Dash is better in bed than her already! I devilishly thought, picking up more speed, until I was almost to the hilt, making Dash moan in again, pain and pleasure, but her well-lubricated marehood made up for the pain. I kissed her on the lips, and resumed. I was pulled in by Dash, making our kiss deeper and more fulfilling. We moaned into each-other's mouths.

"Dash, I'm gonna cum ..." I said as I gasped for breath, reaching the hilt as I thrusted harder and faster, almost reaching my peak.

"Me too ..." Dash began to pant, along with me.

Dash came first, her vaginal walls contracting around me. I was drunk from pleasure and high off of the scent. "... CUMMING!" I yelled, as my back gave way, I pulled out. The pressure built up as I stroked myself. Dash slid down and swallowed the head of my dick, forcing me to cum in her mouth. I deposited a massive amount of spunk into her mouth, every drizzle and spurt being sucked up by Dash, swallowing my seed. I panted as she released me from her mouth.

"You're so tasty ..." Dash complimented out of her lust-filled stupor, swallowing the remains of my semen.

I panted, exhausted, cuddling up with Dash in the blanket. The door opened.

"What the hay?" AppleJack's voice came. "Dash! What the buck are you two ..." she gasped.

I was too drunk off of love and high off of lust to even notice her, along with Dash, who nuzzled into me, closing her eyes along with me, we both drifted to sleep.

"Oh ... Er ... Hehe ... Sorry ..." AppleJack closed the door, heading to her own bed.

My mind is full of fuck.

Do you know how bad, how bad I felt after I and Dash ... You know ...? Well, I was just dreaming about why we were taking things so far so fast. From the day I met Dash, she seemed to have a liking towards me, and I appreciate that, but not to the point of sex. She just wanted to, and we were kinda out of it at that time. I was having a hard time digesting what had happened last night. Dash was in my arms, we were both naked, and I remembered AppleJack walking in on us after we finished ... She apologized ... She's not ... She's not ... Jealous? ... I-is she? I don't fucking know.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was well passed the morning, and Dash had been with me all day. I enjoyed her company, she was sweet and beautiful ... But after last night ... I couldn't bare to look at her. She finally noticed this behavior.

"Andrew? Is there something wrong?" she asked me.

"Yes and no, Dash. It's just that after last night ... I ... I'd hate to say this, but it was sudde-" I was cut off when Dash tackled me to the ground, kissing me on the lips. I couldn't help but give into my emotions as tears slowly dripped from my eyes as we kissed. "Dash ... No matter what ... I'll always love you. I was just afraid that we were rushing our love." I said, teary-eyed, looking at Dash in her eyes.

"I love you too. And besides, love isn't love unless you love the person, am I right?" she asked.

I nodded, and Dash nuzzled me. I smiled warmly, breaking the embrace. I cheered up, "I guess you are right on that one, Dash. I was just worried is all."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I walked into Ponyville, and some of the residents there who met me the night before waved. I waved back, and cheerfully walked through the town's streets with Dash. We were brought to a stop by Twilight.

"Hey guys!" she exclaimed. "How's it going?" the lavender unicorn asked.

"Oh, good, I guess." Dash replied.

"Mhm." I added.

"Good! I was wondering if you two wanted to attend a picnic with me and the girls in the afternoon?" Twilight asked.

"I don't see why not," Rainbow smiled.

"I got nothing better to do ... Hmm ..." I said, inspecting my gun strap. I had 4 separate clips, each holding 27 bullets, along with the Glock 17 that I owned. Upon inspection, two of the four clips were explosive bullets. Holy shit, where'd I get these?!

"What is that?" Twilight asked, looking at the gun and clips that were in my hand curiously.

"Think of it as a handheld cannon, the only differences being size and cannon ball size." I said, removing a bullet from the already-inserted clip.

"So, what is it called?" Twilight asked again.

"It's called a gun. There's guns the size of you back on Earth, and I've fired them off during the many wars."

"And what does that have to do with the picnic?" she asked.

"I wanna see how accurate of a shooter I am. I need some apples." I requested.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The picnic was happening only yards away from me, but I was just testing out my firing skills. The first shot made the girls jump, even after I warned them, too. I wanted to join in, but I didn't want to interrupt. They seemed to be in deep conversation. Rarity was wearing a large, pale beige sunhat. I could faintly hear their conversation;

"Oh ... It is gorgeous out, just gorgeous!" Rarity swooned at the sky. I could faintly hear little footsteps.

Twilight levitated an apple to her mouth, straight before she could see the baby dragon Spike approach them, panting.

"Twi ... Light ..." he panted, "I ... Have ..! ... Lemme just ..." the baby purple dragon groaned as he collapsed onto the blanket, sending a green flame from his mouth, followed by a scroll.

Twilight didn't hesitate to pick it up and start reading it aloud, "Dear Twilight; I am sure you are excited about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot ... Wedding? ... I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy; I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music."

"Oh my goodness, what an honor!" the yellow Pegasus 'exclaimed' at hearing this.

"Pinkie Pie; I can think of no one more qualified than you to host the reception." Twilight continued.

"Hip ... Hip ... Hooray!" the pink party pony met noses with Spike as she did a cartwheel, knocking over a tea pot, which Twilight levitated back up.

"AppleJack; you will be in charge of the catering for the situation." Twilight continued again.

"Well color me pleased as punch!" the farmpony exclaimed.

"Rainbow Dash;" Twilight remained. Rainbow Dash yawned, "I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom complete their 'I dos'."

Dash flew into the air, "EEEYESS!" she cheered.

"Rarity; you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids." Twilight continued.

Hearing this, Rarity went wide-eyed, "Princess Celestia wants me to h-ha..-ha.. Wedding dress ... For a Canterlot wedding ..." Rarity toppled over in either excitement or surprise, not sure which.

"As for you, Twilight; you will be playing the most important role of all; making sure that everything goes as planned. See you all very soon, yours, Princess Celestia." Twilight inspected the scroll the letter was written on, "But ... I don't understand, who's getting married?" she asked, confused.

"Oh! Wait, uh ... I was probably supposed to give you this one first." Spike said, handing Twilight yet another scroll.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and ... MY BROTHER!?" Twilight exclaimed, wide eyed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Yer' brother's gettin' married? Congratulations, Twilight, that's great news!" AppleJack exclaimed to a rather dreary-looking Twilight.

"Yeah, great news ... That I just got from a wedding invitation! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper! Thanks a lot, Shining Armor. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally? 'Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know ... I'm making a really big decision that changes everything ... oh, nevermind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Who in the hoof is that?!" Twilight imitated a male voice, then exclaimed the rest partially angrily. But that's all I heard.

One of my friends in the army was actually a brony too. I was shocked when he called me. I answered, "Hello?"

"Dude! There's another episode of My Little Pony on! It's a back-to-back double episode! It's about Twilight's brother marrying this 'Princess Mi Amore Cadenza ..." he went on for nearly ten minutes. "HOLY TITS! SHE'S EVIL! SHE'S AN EVIL CHANGELING!" he spoiled the episode. "Dude! You gotta see this! Princess Celestia is ... NOOO!" he yelled, "NOT CELESTIA! CHRYSALLIS, YOU BITCH!" he exclaimed, spoiling the episode further. "THE CHANGELING QUEEN JUST HURT PRINCESS CELESTIA!"

My heart dropped, plummeting into my stomach. I hung up immediately, and rushed to Twilight and her friends. "I'm coming with you. I heard everything." I said seriously, loading explosive bullets into my gun. "Lemme test something first." I quickly aimed at a tree, and fired an explosive bullet that plummeted into the bark of a distant tree, the explosion severing it half. "Okay." I said, the girls looking at me wide-eyed as I placed the gun back into it's holster.

"Y-y'all seem worried, Andy, what's wrong?" AppleJack asked me.

"I just want to come along to congratulate Twilight's brother, is all." I said. AppleJack nodded, thank fuck she didn't see it was a lie.

"But Princess Celestia or Luna hasn't met you yet ..." Twilight said lowly.

"Hey, cheer up Twilight." I said, giving her a hug. "You know, your brother may have been busy with his work, I heard the part about him being captain of the royal guard and all. That's a pretty big responsibility. You know, you shouldn't be angry with him, he probably intended to tell you, but his work got the better of him." I reasoned with Twilight, who partially cheered up.

Twilight nuzzled me, a tear in her eye, "I'll write the Princess a note. Spike!" she called for the dragon, who summoned a quill and scroll.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Oh my," Celestia gasped. "Luna! There is a new being in Equestria!" the Solar Princess exclaimed, "I think he should come along. It would be an honor to meet him." she hadn't read the full note. "Due to his appearance, and him not appearing anywhere else than Ponyville, I will have to ask that he doesn't attend the wedding, but he could meet you afterwards. ... Ah, I see where Twilight is going. She is afraid that this 'Andrew' fellow she met may start a little panic. I'm still looking forward to meeting him, regardless." she said, rolling up the scroll, magically erasing it. She wrote a reply, and sent it.

"I agree with thou, 'Tia. I'm looking forward to meeting Andrew too. Though his name is quite strange ..." Luna said.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I and the mane six boarded the trains, I wore a look of worry and concern. The girls didn't acknowledge this, except for AppleJack.

"Girls, Ah think Andrew's not tellin' us somethin' we should know ..." the orange farmpony said.

"Oh it's fine, he's probably just worried about how everypony will react to him in Canterlot if they see him." Rainbow Dash said.

"Well Ah'm gonna go n' talk to him." AppleJack said, walking towards the door to the next car, opening it and jumping to the next car.

She opened the door, to find me lost in my train of thought. "I can't let it happen. I have to protect-"

"Protect who?" AppleJack questioned.

"GAH!" Andrew screamed, making AppleJack jump. "AppleJack! Jesus Chri-"

"BEST WEDDING EVER!!!" the words echoed as the train went into a tunnel, coming from Pinkie Pie.

"Jesus Christ! You scared the fuck out of me!" I held my chest, my madly startled and beating heart pulsing furiously in my chest from the shock.

"Is there sumthin' you ain't tellin' us?" AppleJack straight-up asked.

"I'm just worried. Humans can tell when something's going to go wrong. And I have a bad feeling about the wedding. Not that I dislike the bride or groom, that is. I just have this aching feeling something horrid will happen." I explained, holding my head. "It's tugging at my heart, like I have someone to protect. I have to protect that 'person' in my conscience, or I'll supposedly lose it. I just have a feeling, AJ." AppleJack wrapped her hooves around me and hugged me as my concern got the better of me.

"Sugarcube, Ah understand ya' now. Don't worreh, everything'll be as sweet as my apple pies." she said, hugging me.

"Yeah, I wish I could say that too ..." I said, knowing what will or could happen, thanks to my friend.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The deep maroon bubble-shield passed by every being in the train. Since Equestria didn't have projectiles such as guns, my gun wasn't registered as a weapon, supposedly. The shield bubble made me get a sharp pain in my head. I was in the same cart as the rest of the mane six. "ARGH ..." I groaned, holding my head and dropping to my knees. "FUCK!" I exclaimed.

"Andy what's wrong!?" Dash raced to me.

"Nothing ..." I said, getting up, feeling better. "Just a sharp pain from that energy field ..."

As Twilight stepped out of the train, followed by the others of the Mane Six, Dash covered me with a large white sheet, and dragged my now motionless but conscious body out of the train on a trolley. "It's a statue," Dash said, covering for me. I almost sighed in relief as I was carried into a building.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was carried up a flight of stairs, from what it felt like. "Dash, how much longer?" I complain-asked.

"Princess Celestia!" Rainbow Dash knocked on a door.

"Oh," came a voice. "Rainbow Dash! It is so nice to see you! What brings you here?" the voice asked. "What is this?" the voice asked again, probably looking at me.

"It actually ... Is Andrew. You can come out now, Andrew." Dash prompted me.

"Agh, finally. Er ..." I said, flapping my arms around the blanket, "- a little help, please?" I put my arms by my side. I was on flat ground now, and Dash helped me out of the sheet.

Celestia, the Solar ruler to Equestria stood before me. "Oh ... H-H-HI ..." I greeted. "I-I'm Andrew ..."

She seemed a bit surprised, but then I hopped down off of the trolley.

"Well hello, Andrew. It is so nice to meet you!" the large white alicorn replied with a warm smile. I couldn't help but smile back. "Luna! We have a guest! It's Andrew!" she called to her sister.

"The feeling is mutual, Princess Celestia." I said. "Wow ..." I stared at her mane.

"What?" she questioned.

"Your mane is amazing, it's translucent and very beautiful ..." I complimented.

"Why thank you! Where is your ... Mane?" she asked.

I couldn't help but giggle a bit. "Oh, Princess, our species actually do not have manes, you see, we - I - am a human being. Our race can grow hair all over the body, but not fur and manes alike equines."

"Bo-ring!" Dash complained, "I'm going to go practice for my sonic rainboom." she said, walking out the door. Me and the Princess laughed.

"Interesting. Those are some very ... Formal ... Garments ..?" the Princess said sarcastically, looking at my clothes. I wore the black T-shirt and black jeans.

"Well, I personally didn't have any formal apparel to wear, so I wore these. I heard I wouldn't really be coming to the wedding." I still had the worried look about my face.

"Is something wrong, 'Tia?" Luna walked from the balcony door. She gasped when she saw me. My jaw dropped. "My stars! Who is that!?" the Lunar Princess exclaimed at me.

"Luna, this is Andrew." Celestia introduced me to Luna, who calmed down.

I walked over to Luna. "Argh! Every pony here has such amazing manes!" I exclaimed, studying her mane. Both princesses looked confused. "Damn, sorry! I just get carried away like that sometimes." I apologized. "So. How are you both?" I started a conversation.

"Well, I am fine, thank you, Andrew." Celestia said. "If you do not mind, Andrew, I need to get back to surveying the landscape." and with that, the white alicorn returned to the balcony, leaving Luna with me.

"I am Princess Luna. Please, call me Luna, Andrew." she reached a hoof out, and I shook softly, bowing down.

"It is an honor, Luna." I said, standing back up.

"Pray tell," Luna asked, "May I ask thou some questions?"

"Sure." I said, sitting down in a chair that was there, followed by Luna, who sat down on a lounge.

"Well, thy princess of the night would like to know the place of thou origin."

"I am from the far-off planet Earth. Well, I'm not exactly sure how far we are from my home planet, but I bet it is quite a distance." I said.

Luna asked quite a lot of questions. I wasn't bothered though, I actually liked talking about my origin and stuff along those lines.

"Humans dance to a style of music called 'Dubstep'. Here's a video I saved on my communication device," I said, showing Princess Luna a video of a human dancing to Dubstep.

After the video finished, Luna looked surprised. "Humans move unrealistically!" she exclaimed. "Yet their movements are so intriguing!" she said. "They are perfectly on-beat with the music!"

"Well, I can dance like that for you if you want a live example." I offered. Luna beamed at this suggestion.

Suddenly, Luna replied, "Yes! Please do, Andrew."

So I decided to copy the moves of 'ImKevinT' and 'PaulKabesa' on Twitter from the video: Dubstep Dance | Elegance | Daft Punk - Derezzed (I recommend watching that, holy shit is it ever awesome, though.)

I began as soon as the heavy kicks chimed in, pulsing my body, stopping and starting when the kicks came in, walking forward. When the bass dropped into the Dubstep melody, I began moving like the guy in the white T-shirt in the video. Of course, I messed up a bit here and there, but Luna didn't seem to notice.

Princess Celestia walked in for a little check-up, and as soon as she saw me moving, she sat down with Luna and watched too. Luna explained to her sister that she requested him to dance like this, and he accepted. The two sisters watched in awe and amazement at my performance. I tried my hardest, and it payed off for the most part, a few mistakes here and there, but good, regardless.

When I stopped, both princesses of Equestria, PRINCESSES OF. EQUESTRIA. Clapped in amazement and approval of my performance, well, clapped their hooves ... But whatever.

"Those are some talented dancing moves you have, Andrew!" Celestia complimented. "How do you do it?" she asked.

"Years of practice and learning to control my muscles, Princess Celestia." I bowed a thanks, and the Princess of the sun and day returned to the balcony.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I slept in the tower that night. Celestia wanted to, and there were three separate rest chambers up there anyway. Celestia slept in one, I slept in one, but Luna stayed up to watch over Canterlot.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Andrew," a soft and calm voice brought me to consciousness slowly.

"Oh," I tiredly muttered, "Good morning, Princess."

"Good afternoon, actually." Luna said. "Tia is attending the wedding right now. It should be done in a matter of-" my door opened. In stormed an irritated Princess Celestia. "Sis, what happened?" Luna asked her sister.

"Twilight made the bride uneasy, and the groom angry. The wedding is postponed until later today, unfortunately. I am disappointed in her." Celestia said.

"What'd Twilight accu ..- say?" I chimed in. Celestia looked at me.

"She accused Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of being evil." she said.

My expression said 'I know something about this.' Luna picked up on that, "What do you know?" she asked.

"I knew my instincts were right! Aughghhh!!!!!!" I groaned, sitting up in bed. "THE ACHING... BACK ... ARGH!" I groaned, holding my head, dropping into a fetal position on the bed. "MUST PROTECT YOU ..." I pointed to Celestia.

"Me? What would I need protection from?" Celestia scorned.

"I ... I don't know, Princess. I'm so concerned about my instincts right now that I can't overcome them. I need to be at the wedding tomorrow, but not be there. I'll remain in the shadows. I need to get ready. Trust me, a human's instincts are never wrong." I said, brushing my hair.

Celestia giggled. "You can come along, but I highly doubt anything will go wrong, Andrew." she said, leaving the room.

I cringed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I got into position. I was in the shadows as I said, in the ball room. Twilight was nowhere to be seen. The wedding was going on before me, and Shining Armor spoke up, "Where's Twily'?" and that's pretty much all I heard from my position. The crowd of equines mumbled their own opinions and conversations.

Just then, the door burst open, and in stepped Twilight. "STOP!" she yelled. I couldn't hear the rest of what they were saying, but I saw the ponies below silently groan and scorn in disappointment.

"Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?! ... WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO RUIN MY SPECIAL DAY??!" the 'Bride' sobbed.

"Because it's not your special day, it's mine!" and a 'clone' of Princess Candace walked beside Twilight.

"How did you get passed my bridesmaids?" the imposter bride snapped. Twilight and the REAL bride went over how they got passed them. "Clever." and that's what I heard, until the Changeling Queen appeared.

I didn't hear what she was saying over the gasps of the crowd of equines, but they could. Celestia suddenly locked horns with the dark queen, and then rose above. "... FROM YOU!" was all I heard from Celestia, as the two princesses shot beams of energy from their horns. I dropped down and sprinted to the Dark Queen, anger tearing through my common sense.

"FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled, delivering a powerful blow and a tackle to the Dark Queen, sending her stumbling. Celestia dropped to the ground, as I mercilessly beat the Dark Queen with my fists.

"PLEASE ... MERCY!" she begged and screeched.

I held her and picked her up by her throat, showboating my strength as I walked to the top of the stairs, I was pissed off mad like you wouldn't believe. "Who made you God, YOU WHELP? You're lucky I don't just kill you!" I exclaimed, shooting a bullet through her horn, severing it in half, a screech of pain emitting from the Dark Queen's lips. I threw the Dark Queen onto the ground, and tears ran from her eyes. "Changeling Queen, you pathetic whelp! What makes you think you can just, barge on in here and take one's land! How cruel and dishonoring! You take one's affection and love for another and use it for your own benefit? REVOLTING! YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING ASHAMED!" I bellowed. Every pony in the room had fled. "I KNEW MY INSTINCTS WERE RIGHT!" I yelled. "I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD GO WRONG!"

"My horn!" the Dark Queen exclaimed. "No matter ... My Changeling army will still break through the weak-minded Shining Armor's protection spell." she hissed with venom and fear of me.

My expression was still of anger. I stomped over the Dark Queen. "I am not always like this. You brought this upon yourself," I said, taking the butt of my gun, and knocking the Changeling Queen unconscious. Everybody around me gasped in horror, which was only the Mane Six. "Why ... Just why am I so violent." I dropped to my knees, sobbing myself. I clenched my fists and looked down to the ground. The Changeling Queen has a bruise on her face. I stood up, and saw that Princess Celestia was unconscious from the drop. I dropped my gun and ran to her. "Princess ..." I wept over her motionless body. "I did all I could. I protected you the best I can."

"Andy ... What the buck just happened?!!" AppleJack exclaimed at me.

"You see, AppleJack, my instincts were right. Chrysalis, queen of the changelings, was the bad feeling I had. I didn't know it was her at first. It was human nature to resort to violence. That's all I am ... A heartless beast ... A monster." I wept.

"You're not a monster ..." a now subconscious Celestia said, looking up at me. "What you did was an act of valor ... I never knew you could be so trustworthy and loyal of your feelings. You could have stopped something dreadful from happening, and you did." even in a subconscious state, Celestia gave a warm smile.

I dripped tears for a small amount of time, and helped Celestia up. She stumbled, but I kept her in balance. "You alright, Princess? That fall seemed a bit much." I asked, concerned. I supported her walking. "Girls, get her to her private chambers. ASAP." I commanded, Dash and AppleJack supporting the Alicorn as they guided her from the ball room to her private chamber.

Shining Armor snapped out of the spell that was cast over him. "Whoa ... What happened?" he shook his head. "Where'd everypony go?" he asked. He noticed me. He tried screaming, but the love drain left him weak. Candance walked over to him.

"It's okay." she said, hugging him.

Twilight was the only one looking up, "Shining Armor! You need to cast your spell! They're breaking through!" the changelings were braking the protective shield around Canterlot.

"Urghh... Mmmph ..." Shining armor's horn glowed dully, and he groaned, "I'm too weak!" he exclaimed.

"SHIT!" I yelled, grabbing my gun, in case this crap went down.

"My love will give you strength," Candance said, hugging him again, locking horns with one another, creating sparks. I saw a heart pop from Candance's horn, and touch both of their horns. Now I could see the blue and red aura coming from both their horns forming into a purple ball of energy in the center of their bind. The light was almost unbearable, so I hid my eyesight.

The Dark Queen looked up, and the two ponies Candance and Shining armor were levitated by ... Well ... Love. A massive explosion of light purple energy shockwaved through Canterlot, sending the damaged and screaming Changeling Queen and her army flying towards the Everfree forest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Next Day ...

"Mares and Gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union, of the real Princess Mi Amore Candenza-" Celestia was interrupted by Candance,

"Princess Candance is fine." she said.

"Mm. - The union of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. The strength of their commitment is clear, the power of their love; undeniable. May we have the rings, please?" the white alicorn gestured Spike, who held the cushion with two horn-rings up to Celestia. Celestia levitated the rings, and slid them down Shining Armor and Candance's horns, "I now pronounce you ... Mare and Colt!" everypony cheered.

I stood beside Princess Celestia, who gave me a soft and warm smile. Everypony calmed down, and Celestia started again, "And I would like to personally honor Andrew," I smiled and bowed, "Who protected me from the dreadful Changeling Queen. As a reward for his tremendous act of valor, I give him this medal." the Princess levitated a red-strap neck medal, with a gold medallion in the shape of the sun. She levitated the medal onto my neck. Everypony cheered.

"Thank you!" I called out. "Woo ... Thank you. Thank you, Princess Celestia. I want to personally congratulate, as the only living human being in all of Equestria, Shining Armor. Good job, buddy." I congratulated, uprising the cheering as the couple walked onto the balcony, where Canterlot was crowded with equines of all colors, shapes and sizes, cheering for their love.

Celestia tapped Rainbow Dash's shoulder, "That's your cue, Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh!" she snapped to attention, and literally flew out of her dress, and broke the sound barrier in the sky as she flew, A SONIC RAINBOOM!!!!!! MY LIFE IS FUCKING COMPLETE!!!!!!!!

I cheered wildly, "WOOOOOOO!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" I cheered as the rainbow trail soared over Canterlot.

- - - - - - - -

The afterparty was amazing, ponies thanked me, I hung out with the Wonderbolts, Celestia and Luna! Oh my God, life is so fucking good! I couldn't help but smile a lot during the celebration.

"Andrew," Celestia said.

"Yes?" I replied.

"I think you deserve this," the elder Alicorn gestured me to hug her. I did.

There was so much more of her compared to other ponies! She was so much fun to hug! Jeez! Holy crap ... Don't lose train of thought. It was just a subtle, friendly hug anyway.

"I can't thank thou enough for potentially saving my sister's life," Luna gave me a hug too. I was blushing now.

"I did what I had to," I explained. "Some ponies' life was in danger. I was a soldier, and I live up to my title as a keeper of the peace, regardless of whether it be a pony or a human." I said, making Celestia smile. God, I love the way she smiles. It makes me feel proud of something.

"Why don't you dance to celebrate?" Celestia teased. I never knew she was like this. I blushed, as she nudged me to the center of the 'dance floor' with the Bride and Groom.

"Alright, alright ..." I laughed. I began to dance like a robot, making some ponies laugh, and others drop their jaw in awe and amazement at my muscle control and overall dance moves.

BASS. DROP.

And I danced. I danced for quite a while, before falling to the floor laughing, along with Pinkie Pie. The princesses giggled at our behavior, and then we let the Bride and Groom have the floor. They danced in each other's embrace to a slow piano piece. Dash landed next to me, and gave me a hug. I gave her a quick peck, "That sonic rainboom was amazing, Dashie." I said, rubbing her mane.

"It was, wasn't it? Third one I did in all my life!" she perked up.

"Ah Dash, I love your attitude." I said, rubbing her mane. She giggled.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After the Afterparty, Ponyville, near midnight ...

Me and Dash laid in the guest room bed. We just stared into each-other's eyes, feeling warm. Not the sexual kind of warm, but warm as in the sense of love for each-other. I cuddled Dash, and my medal was set on the table. We kissed one final time, until we both slept.

Fingers ... Dying ... Light ... FADING ... I spoil you guys too much at my own expense T~T