It took a while for the members of the press to quiet down and form into even a rough resemblance of an orderly mob. Celestia and Luna had rearranged the lounge couches into rows facing the crowd. True to their word, the Crystal Kavim stayed and even sat on two of the couches so as to participate in the interview if they were called upon. Artex and Razor seated themselves on adjacent couches and got comfortable while Celestia and Luna sat on either side of them.

As the members of the press began settling down for the mass interview, Artex looked around and spotted a servant standing against the walls. She was a light brown Unicorn with her silver mane and tail done up in a bun. Artex caught her attention and waved her over. Razor, the Crystal Kavim, Celestia, and Luna all watched him silently. The servant Unicorn mare trotted up and lowered her head toward Artex.

Artex motioned her closer and leaned over to speak into her ear,
"Would you please bring us a huge bowl of hummus with celery, apples, carrots, and crackers?"

The servant cocked her head to the side,
"What is hummus?"

Artex smiled, he had hoped they didn't know what hummus was,
"Perfect, combine boiled and drained chickpeas, a little olive oil, finely ground sesame seed powder for a thickening agent, lemon juice, ground garlic, salt, and pepper in a bowl and mix the whole thing together until it is smooth and creamy. If it's too soupy, add more sesame powder. Make enough for everybody present to have some. Make a ton of it." Artex ordered quietly.

The Unicorn mare hurried off toward the kitchens as Artex smiled hugely. The reporters had finally settled down and all hundred or so of them were all staring at him with huge eyes. The flashes of cameras had died down and the room grew silent. Artex chuckled watching them watch him.

He sat up on the couch and clapped his hands together,
"Let's get this rolling shall we, who has the first question?"

The silence exploded as the reporters all clamored for attention with raised voices and hooves.

Artex selected a bright orange Pegasus mare and pointed to her,
"You first." the crowd fell silent, "Please state your name and the paper you work for, then ask your question."

"Resounding Thought, Canterlot Times. What do Humans plan to do here in Equestria?" she asked.

Artex shrugged,
"We plan to live here until we get the chance to return home, if we get that chance." he pointed to a dark green Earth Pony stallion next, "You."

"Direct Quote, Moving News Daily. Why do Humans wear clothes?"

Artex smiled at the very anticipated question,
"That is actually remarkably easy to answer. You see Humans have no way to conceal their reproductive organs and we consider those to be generally rather personal. We wear clothes to cover those bits, to stay warm as we lack any sort of fur, and to just look awesome. And to answer the unspoken question here, Humans have a huge fashion industry." Artex pointed to another Earth Pony stallion with a pastel blue coat, "You there."

"Mountain Top, Equestrian Daybreak. Where is the Human settlement?" he asked.

Artex shook his head,
"Invalid question. I know the Princesses already told all of you, that information would be provided once the town is ready." he raised his voice to the whole crowd, "Any other questions of a sort that would circumvent what the Princesses already said will be grounds for dismissal from the interview." he turned back to the chagrined reporter, "Any valid questions?"

"Do Ponies have anything to fear from Humans?" Mountain Top asked.

Artex shook his head,
"No more than any other species. We plan to live as peacefully as we can with every species in the world." he then selected a blaring pink Unicorn stallion, "Yes, you."

"Pressing Matter, Flankfurt Daily. Do you have anything to comment on the fact that Humans attacked Flankfurt and one Human ran a Pony through with a sword?" he asked bluntly.

Artex raised an eyebrow as Razor subtly growled beside him,
"Well now, going for something controversial huh? Yes, it is true. However it should be strictly noted that that Pony survived and the only reason he was stabbed was because other Humans mistakenly thought he was attacking one of them. Furthermore, that same Pony is now happily living in our town and is a widely accepted and valued member of society, to the end that the one who stabbed him is now his best friend. Also note that it is always important to keep things in context. We wouldn't want any misunderstandings would we?" Artex the pointed to a light blue Earth Pony mare, "Your turn ma'am."

"Candor Voice, Equestrian Moonbeam Paper. Who is the tan mare sitting beside you?"

Artex looked at Razor,
"Maybe you should ask her."

"My name is Razor Wit. I am a language specialist and I've been working with Artex ever since I met him some months ago. Between us, we have translated Velensovth into American and vice-versa." Razor said.

Artex caught the last term Razor used, 'They have that phrase? Odd.' he pointed to a lime green Unicorn mare,
"You next."

"Solid Statement, New Yolk Times. What kinds of weapons and armor were used during The Battle For New Humansville?"

"Swords, shields, spears, and armor. Princess Luna enchanted the weapons and arms to be much more sturdy than the norm. And her generosity and willingness to fight alongside us was greatly appreciated." Artex said.

"Why haven't the Princesses made more weapons and armor like that for the E.P.U. Guard and the Civil Guard?" Solid Statement asked quickly before Artex could point out another reporter.

"One question each please." Artex said, but he knew the damage had been done.

Sure enough the Pegasus stallion he pointed to next parroted the question,
"Firm Comment, Cloudsdale Inquirer. Why haven't the Princesses forged better weapons and armor for the Royal Guard and Civil Guard?"

"You would have to ask them yourself. Do you have question for me?" Artex asked.

Firm Comment thought briefly before answering,
"Why are you Humans allowed to carry any weapon you want?"

"Aha, good question!" Artex exclaimed, "The answer is that Humans are weaker and more frail than Ponies. The weakest Unicorn could easily overpower the strongest Human." he pointed to his misshapen face, "A single kick from a Unicorn stallion shattered my skull and nearly killed me. It was a misunderstanding and I hold absolutely no ill will toward him for it, but Humans are much much more frail than Ponies. Our right to carry weapons only just barely puts us on even ground with Ponies. Any Pony, probably most foals as well, could overpower an average Human." Artex pointed to an Earth Pony mare with a silver colored coat, "You next ma'am."

"Silver Tongue, Los Pegasus Free Press. Can you explain how Humans survived on your home world if you don't have magic."

"Humans on Earth have no magic, that is true. We have no natural weapons or strength. We have no claws, no fangs, and no thick skin to protect us. We are weak and squishy compared to most animals. To make up for such a deficiency we use our minds to make machines to solve our problems for us. Humans have set foot on our moon, we have glimpsed galaxies that would take generations to reach. We have created machines that function as organs such as mechanical hearts. We have machines that can travel faster than the speed of sound and fly cargo and people all over the world. When Humans apply our minds to a problem, there are few things in the universe that can stop us." he pointed to a Unicorn stallion with a white pelt, "You sir."

"Stark Truth, Wild Mustang Press. You made a specific differentiation between Humans on Earth and Humans here. Why is that?"

Artex smiled at the sharp reporter,
"When I said that Humans on Earth have no magic, it is true. Once we arrived here, that changed. After months of exposure to Thamaturgic Energy we adapted to the new environment. Humans are nothing if not adaptable. We developed Screfulas and we can now use magic, however we are nowhere near as widely varied in our Nouns and Verbs as Unicorns. Almost all of us are completely blind to many Nouns and Verbs. I am blind to Create, Repair, and Sustain. Some of us also have passive Nouns and Verbs which are active all the time. I have one on my hands, Destroy Magic. If I touch something with my hands it will often stop functioning magically. The Princesses still overpower me by orders of magnitude so you do not need to worry. Humans also have very poor Finesse with magic. As far as I know, no Human could ever match a Unicorn in Finesse." he pointed to a burnt orange Unicorn mare next, "You there."

"Corner Stone, Manehattan News. How did Humans arrive in Equestria?"

Artex shrugged,
"I wish I knew. All I know is that a massive storm struck where I was working and the next thing I know, all of us are waking up in a field, naked and scared. The Princesses have looked into it and they are just as puzzled as we are. We do hope for a way to return, but as it looks right now, we're going to be here for a long time. Even if we do have the opportunity to return home I believe a good number of us would want to stay. Equestria is a wonderful nation. It has its problems and so forth, but nothing is perfect. If I had the option, I would have happily moved here with my wife." Artex selected a Pegasus mare with a purple pelt next, "You ma'am."

"Potent Prose, Equestrian Star. You mentioned you have a wife? Could you explain how Humans form families?"

Artex bit his lip for half a second before answering,
"I... did have a wife. She is back on Earth. As for your question, most Humans have only a single partner. One man and one woman and their children of course. Human families are much smaller than those of Ponies. Our male to female ratio is roughly one-to-one so there is no need for multiple spouses. As a matter of fact, there are laws against having more than one spouse and a common thought for those who have a lover on the side when they are already in a relationship, is that they are 'cheating' on their primary partner. Some Humans are jealous enough about their spouses that they might fight one another for them." he pointed to a Unicorn mare who had a light creamy coat, "You next miss."

"Topaz Swirl, Daily Grind. When you said that Humans intend to live peacefully with ALL species in the world, did you also take into account the less... social and less desirable elements?"

Artex' brow furrowed,
"Can you elaborate on what you mean?"

"I mean Diamond Dogs, Dragons, and... Changelings." Topaz specified.

Razor Wit was on her hooves in a flash,
"Mind your tongue!" she snapped, "Are you familiar with the trade agreement with the Diamond Dog City/States? Well I brokered that! I learned their language and entered their lairs. I watch them and I learned and do you know what I saw?"

Topaz shook her head, stunned at Razor's tone,
"I saw loving parents holding and caring for their young. I saw artisans producing fine works of art. I saw a species full to the brim with unique culture and I was left with the knowledge that WE had shunned them for all of history because they're 'undesirable elements'. I went down to their homes and while they were suspicious of me at first, they eventually welcomed me. I have several Diamond Dogs who I consider friends, so I will kindly thank you NOT to make such broad and undeserved statements."

Razor laid back down grumbling to herself as Artex took up fielding the question,
"In answer to your... colorful wording and question, we plan to live as peacefully as we possibly can. Allow me a moment to give you my own feelings about The Battle For New Humansville." he paused and took a deep, calming breath, "Every soul lost that day, every Diamond Dog, every Pony, every Human was a victim of that disease. The Diamond Dogs were suffering. They were already dead in here and in here," Artex said pointing to his heart and mind, "What those Humans and Ponies did was an act of mercy... and many paid the ultimate price for it. I... I lost a very good friend that day. On the day we laid those brave souls to rest, we spent the remainder of the day discussing something called The Unity Pact. That Pact states that ANY sentient being from ANY nation may take up residency in New Humansville so long as they act and live peacefully. I do not and will not care if a Dragon decides to come live there, that Dragon will be welcome to do so. It might be a bit of an odd fit, but what are we if not odd? We are an odd species to all of you, so why not be all the more welcoming to those who were born on this world?" Artex raised his hand to point, "Next question."

* * *

Artex and Razor Wit, struggling to stay awake, slogged their way down the hallway heading to their rooms. They were beyond tired. The Interview had finished and Artex finally had the chance to speak with the Crystal Kavim. They seemed very nice if very withdrawn, but Artex assumed that was a leftover from their time as slaves to that bastard Sombra.

He couldn't help but to smile. Once the reporters learned that Humans could eat meat, they were all over it. Fortunately the hummus Artex had ordered, was delivered some moments afterward which gave him the chance to explain that while Humans did eat meat, their diet consisted mostly of fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, and dairy. The hummus was an instant success, the Ponies LOVED it and the night had ended on a very positive note overall.

Razor didn't even bid the man goodnight as she closed the door of her room behind her. Artex couldn't blame her, it had been one hell of a day.

He opened the door to his room and slowly drug himself toward the bed, shedding his clothes as he went. He didn't care where they fell, he was too tired to care. He slipped off his final layer of clothes and only idly thought that the maids must have missed his room as the bed was ruffled badly. He got in on the right side as it was still neat and tidy.

He didn't really care. He was tired and he was going to sleep. He laid his head down on the pillow and turned onto his right side then slipped his right arm under his pillow. He then pulled the pillow that separated the two sides of the bed in close to his stomach and chest and wrapped his left arm around it, 'Hmm,' he thought passively, 'Maid must have slept in here too. This pillow is nice and warm.'

Little did he realize, his 'pillow' was warm because it was alive.

Anybody care to guess?

Oh, and typos, lots and lots of typos.